Head Qrs. Dist. of Memphis _
	Memphis Tennessee June 30th / 63
My Dear dear Emma.
			This morning
your letter was received and the
news it contained _ like a Bomb _ shell
burst upon me _ What to think what
to say _ what towrite is more
than my bewildered Senses can
at present dictate _ It is enough
for me tosay I am fast loosing
all confidence in mankind _
	Mr. [illegible in original] F. Gowdy _ I had Considered
my friend _ and why? simply because
I have his own word for it _ But when
the mask was thrown aside exposing
his real true character _ or feelings
toward me _ I must confess I was
surprised _ disappointed _ Aye! and


more _ I was disgusted Does he
imagin I am in any way _ even
one jot or tittle _ beholden tohim _ For-
-bid it. By the bones of my great father _
I was never taken in so before _ nor _
will I ever allow any man to fool
me so again _
	             Why Emma look at the
Affair Yourself from a disinter-
-ested standing point _ Did Mr G. 
ever use me otherwise than with proper
respect when I was there to take my 
own part _ no nor dare he _ He
must then have some object in
view in asaling me now _
	‘Tis time I cannot for one
single moment conceive the reasons
for the course he has pursued _ You
Emma can undoubtedly Judge better
Yourself _ Why the idea of his recapitu=
-lating my past history _ of that of
my People is preposterous _ in
the extreme _   I never saw him
but once previous tomy going to
Chickaming _   I never obtained the
situation I posessed through him
nor am I under any obligation
tohim _ for it _ The simple facts

are I sacrificed much in a
pecuniary manner by going
there at all _ I went there because
an Uncle who held some little
interest _ in the business – wished
me _ to _ and since being in the
Army the proposition has come
to me more times than once
that I return toMich _ when
my term has Expired _ providing
the same Firm run the Establish=
-ment _ But now I would never
under any circumstance con-
-sent to do so _ - I Can do
much better.
		When I became
so fallen in my own Estima-
-tion as tobe guilty of attacking
any person at their back _ when
at the same time I profess _
friend-ship totheir face. may
that Ruler _ who reads the heart
of all mankind _ strike me
from Existence _
		      No Emma
I was never engaged toany
girl further than you your-
-self at the present time _ Know

of _ I have no recollections of ever
showing any letter _ to Mr. Gowdy
and Even granting I did – and that
he received it confidentially – was _
it _ I ask the part of a Man of
honor to betray the trust Confided
tohis Keeping _ A man that receives
any information confidentially &.
then Exposes it _ is guilty of a breach
of Honor _ of the greatest magnatude
and there is no circumstance among
civilized people that will or can
[illegible in original]
[illegible in original] it.     I _ dont deny that
letters of mine _ may be today laying
arround Goodwins Store _ for
as you and every one else knows
that I left there in a great hurry
and under rather peculiar circum-
-Stances _ But I do hereby _ authorize
you providing you see fit _ to present
this letter to Mr. Gowdy with the
request that Said letters _ or any
                       belonging to me
other property ^ in his possession be
delivered over to you _ for I imagin
they would be much more sacred in
your hands – There was a young
Lady in Aurora by the name of 
Mattie Swain _ (a Good Girl too).	

that I used to correspond with
when in Chickaming _ However
we were never engaged _ and
at all Events I never was _ nor did
I ever conduct my self otherwise
than Honorably with her _ Upon
a certain occasion _ previous
tomy going toMichigan _ I
was at a party _ where “M”. was _
we were dancing _ a new & _
fancy dance _ for the “Ed-
-ification of theparty _ and after
we had finished some one
remarked that we were So well
matched  - we Should be married
and tohelp carry out the Joke
we remarked that we “were
going to be married _ at
our Earliest Convenience
and after that our Correspondence
sometimes alluded to the Subject
but I think never Seriously
on her Side _ and I know
not on mine _
	Now Emma I have written
Enough _ your Judgement is

good _ and you must be your
own Judge _ If you consider
what Mr. Gowdy's word better than
mine _ or if you doubt me in
the least investigate matters _ thorough-
-ly and _ I ask as a favor you re-
port. the result. to me _
	If there are other things that
have been said _ which I Know has
from your letter _ I Consider it
your duty _ to tell me all _
	My Dear Mother and Sisters have
arrived in Aurora _ My oldest did not Come _
	Please answer this Just as
Soon as received _ or I may
be in Vicksburg _
		      Love to Your Mother
Hoping Providence may watch over
Protect _ &. Guide You _
		I Remain
			Just the Same as Ever _
				Mark