[Deckerd?] July 26, 1863

	My Dear Sisters, Em & [illegible]
				Although I am
very much fatigued and it is quite late in
the night I feel that I cannot retire to my
lonely soldiers couch without writing to you
and expressing to you my deep gratitude for the
tender care you have bestowed over my pre
cious & beautiful Kittie since the death of her
beautiful and angelic mother. Two years
today my dear sisters since I lost the purest
& most devoted wife ever given to bless man
Oh what a day to me was that – No man
ever experienced so severe a blow as I
in the loss of my beautiful Amelia – So
pure – so Kind – so perfect – so lovely – so
devoted – so noble, possessed of all the
desired qualities of a wife & a mother – so
full of happiness – & gifted in every thing.
essential to her position – so fond of life
& the pleasures of her happy home – Oh
my dear sisters although she said in
her last breath “God is just in all He doith”
I could never feel reconciled to His Will
in taking from me & from my precious
children one so essential to their happiness

& so necessary to mine. But my dear sisters
I cannot but acknowledge His Mercy and
Goodness in saving and providing you
and Helen as temporary protectors and
guardian of these little innocents thrown
upon the world by the death of their blessed
Mother – I feel deep gratitude to Him &
to you and ever shall and I know
& realized that no living persons could 
ever have shown the affectionate care &
kindness to their little bodies that you and
Helen have bestowed upon those precious
representations of their Sainted Mother – And
may God bless you & Helen & Show Mercy
upon you always for your goodness &
kindness to them & to me.
	Two years my dear sisters I have felt that I
was alone in the world, my only attachments
have been with my little ones – and although
I have loved them with the tender & devoted
love of an affectionate father I have for
these two years sought the dangers of the
field not caring how soon the fatal
blow would fall which would carry
me to the arms of My Angel “Millie”
But the blow comes not – I am still standing
in the front ranks of an army in the
face of an enemy – I feel my loneliness
& have felt it. The only relief & [illegible]

happiness I have found has been in
the Society of her whom I have
			      my
Chosen to fill the place of  ^  beautiful
Angel wife – with her I can find 
happiness – with her I can recall the
pleasures of the past – with her if
I am suffered to pass through the trials,
and dangers of this war I can again
enjoy the comforts of a house – & although
she is young – inexperienced & has never
felt the cares or responsibilities which
necessarily fall upon a wife I believe
she is capable of [illegible] me happy
and of filling Amelia's place better
than any other living person – she 
is kind – intelligent – apt and affect-
tionate and although she is young &
has been accustomed to indulging
in the careless gaities of the world, she has
a degree of dignity and appreciation
of which but few even of greater experiences
are possessed – I believe she will make a 
fond and devoted wife & mother to my
now motherless children – believing this
& loving her as I do I intend to make her
my wife & the mother of Kittie & Maggie
This is my purpose – as fixed as the hills of my
native home – & if you love me – if you
love my children – if you loved Amelia

I want you to love her – I know your
preferences – I know the prejudices
which has been excited but my dear
sisters let not preferences for another
nor prejudices against an unknown
person do injustice to my intended wife
I may have committed indiscretions – I may
have given Josephine encouragements which
would justify her in her hopes. I may have done her
Injustice – if I have I must take the
consequences – I am responsible – no one
else – & thee beautiful & loving Josephine
of Tennessee should not suffer the preju=
dices [illegible] from your sympathies for
the Josephine of New York – I know your
good judgement & your good sense will
not suffer you to be led into unrecoverable
prejudices – I want you to love my chosen
companion whom I shall soon make
My wife & I know you will – you have
but to see her & to know her, to love her, and
before another month passes I intend to
present her to you as your sister – So
soon as I can procure a leave of absence I
shall be married & [make?] you a visit – I have
not determined fully as to what cause I shall take with 
[illegible] to my precious children – there are no schools in
Tennessee as I should desire to have Kittie return with me
but I desire her to be kept in school – I think I shall let
Josephine bring Maggie home when we return & hope
she will be well & prepared to come – If I should be
so unfortunate as not to get leave I shall be married some
time next month & bring my wife here to stay with me
for a while – in which case will write you – Kiss & hug
my precious darling babies for me & [two words illegible]
	As ever your affectionate Bro, John