PARENT SOCIALIZATION PRACTICES OF IMMIGRANT SIKHS TOWARDS ETHNORELIGIOUS IDENTITY FORMATION IN THEIR CHILDREN By Meenal Rana A DISSERTATION Submitted to Michigan State University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY Human Development and Family Studies 2012 ABSTRACT PARENT SOCIALIZATION PRACTICES OF IMMIGRANT SIKHS TOWARDS ETHNORELIGIOUS IDENTITY FORMATION IN THEIR CHILDREN By Meenal Rana This study explored Sikh immigrant parents’ socialization practices in the ethno-religious identity formation of their children, especially boys, between the ages of 10 – 18 years. Sikh men and boys wear outward identity markers which distinguish them as a group belonging to the Sikh faith (i.e., turbans and beards). The study explored the developing self-perceptions of these boys, which causes them to stand out among their peers in school environments. Because of these markers, young Sikh boys are often bullied at school for their long hair, or harassed because they are mistaken for Muslims of Arabic origin (a backlash which began shortly after the September 11, 2001 Twin Tower terrorist attacks). The study was conducted from an ethnographic perspective, including systematic observations, in-depth interviews with both parents and boys, and focus groups with girls, community members, and grandparents. The study found that networks play an important role in Sikh communities influencing their decisions to move to smaller cities and towns within the U.S. Results from the study indicated that some parents took proactive measures to protect their children in the schools by allowing them to cut their hair or choose not to wear turbans. Both mothers and fathers played different roles in the socialization of their children—mothers in cultural transmission and fathers in protection from discrimination. The fathers and grandfathers were more vigilant about any delinquent and substance abuse behaviors of their sons and other youth in the community. The Sikh community, as a whole, played a major role in raising and socializing children in cultural and religious identities. A common trend among immigrant Sikh men is that they often begin their first jobs as cab drivers and then move to owning businesses, considered a step toward social mobility. The security of owning businesses and properties influences some of the fathers’ aspirations for their boys as they see it as a continuing heritage. The youth, meanwhile, feel insulated within their ethnic network, even though such resilience prevents many of them from seeking a college education and careers away from the community. Important implications for the future were also discussed. Copyright by MEENAL RANA 2012 DEDICATION To Dr. Tom Luster A great mentor with immense wisdom and patience and to Shaurya Rana My son, who demonstrated unwavering support throughout my dissertation process v ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS My deepest gratitude goes to my dissertation director, Dr. Desiree B. Qin for her excellent guidance, caring, and patience. At the same time, I would like to thank my adviser, Dr. Deborah J. Johnson for guiding my research, providing perspectives from her own research work with African American families, and for being my cheerleader during the course of the study. I am also thankful to Dr. José Ruben-Parra Cardona, my committee member for his erudite suggestions and the positive work energy that he brought to the table. Special thanks go to Dr. Miles A. McNall, for his outstanding mentorship in community-based research and his encouragement for the last several years. A special tribute goes to my first adviser, Dr. Tom Luster, who passed away in 2009, three years after I became his student. All the great research lessons and the guidance that I had in his classes and the one-on-one sessions, are ingrained in my scholarship. I would like to express my love and gratitude for my parents, who always encouraged me to set my goals high. My first teacher, my father, Dr. BPS Malik, always motivated me to work hard and despite all the odds that he had faced in his own childhood, his determination to earn higher education taught me the value of education just by being a living example for me. My mother, Sumitra Malik, always taught me that “only education can empower a woman.” I would also like to thank my brother, Rahul, who always served as a pillar of strength in supporting my stay in the United States, both financially and emotionally. Since 2010, when his daughter, my niece Srishti was born, the years have been full of joy and the time has flown so quickly that she vi is now able to say clearly, “Dr. Bua (Dr. Aunt).” I am grateful to my sister-in-law, Nidhi, for her love and care. Many thanks, too, go to Hemant, my youngest brother, who kept my hopes alive throughout this long, educational pursuit. I am also grateful to my husband, Devendra Singh, who sacrificed his comforts so that I could finish my education. My son Shaurya, who has been a source of inspiration and courage throughout these years, deserves more praise than can be expressed in words. Over the years, we have developed an unspoken language of love and understanding. I would like to thank my very special roommates and friends, Praneet Randhawa, Chitra Srivastava, and Bhavana Karnik, who were always there for me in my thick and thin. With them not only I shared the food and the rooms but also many frustrations, worries, and happy moments. I am thankful to my dear friends and colleagues Laura Bates, Dr. Susan K. Verwys, Dr. Hilda Omae, Chang Su, LaVelle Gipson Tansil, Dr. Manashi Ray, Cheryl Danley, Sarra Baraily, Moushumi Choudhury, and Dr. Olga Santiago for their wisdom and support. It would be a remiss if I don’t acknowledge the love and care of my friends Carol Luster, Lesley Crowell, Shahida Aman, Yousaf Orakzai, Lena Maxson, and Aliya Tariq. Special thanks go to Dr. Joyce Grant, Mr. Paul Shaheen, and Dr. Joanne Keith for their wisdom and support. Thanks to Ruth Sedelmaeir, Adell Flourry, and Mary Faloon for their positive attitude, help and love during my stay at Michigan State University. I would also like to thank my study informants, Ravinder Kaur Chawa, Harpeet Grewal, and Raman Singh, for trusting and helping me navigate the process. Last but not least, I would like to thank my study participants and the study site organizing committee for welcoming me into their community—the trust, love, and the acceptance that I received are invaluable. vii TABLE OF CONTENTS List of Tables xii List of Figures xiii CHAPTER 1 - INTRODUCTION 1.1 Significance of the Study 1.2 Religion and Child Development 1.3 Religion and Immigrants 1.4 Immigration, Negotiation, Adaptation, and Discrimination 1.5 Research Questions 1.6 Organization of the Dissertation 1 2 5 6 9 12 13 CHAPTER 2 – REVIEW OF LITERATURE 2.1 Theoretical Framework 2.2 Immigration in the United States 2.2.1 Reasons for Migration and Change in Family Dynamics 2.2.2 Immigrant Parent Expectations 2.2.3 Reasons for Secondary Migration 2.2.4 Risk and Resilience among Immigrants 2.2.5 Sikh Immigration History and Population in the U.S. 2.3 Parent Socialization, Father IInvolvement/Socialization, Grandparents Involvement/Socialization, Ethnic-Racial Identity, and Discrimination 2.3.1 Parent Socialization: Domestic and Immigrant Minorities 2.3.2 Father Involvement/Socialization 2.3.3 Grandparent Involvement/Socialization 2.3.4 Ethnic-Racial Identity 2.3.5 Discrimination and Child Outcomes 2.4 Sikhs: Parent Socialization and Role of Religion in Sikh Families 2.4.1 Religion and Identity Formation 2.4.2 Ethno-religious Identity 2.4.3 Religion and Positive Youth Development 2.4.4 History of Sikhs and Ethno-religious Identities of Sikhs in India 2.4.5 Role of Religion in Sikh Families 2.4.6 Discrimination of Sikhs in the United States 2.4.7 Parent Socialization and Identity Formation in Sikh Immigrants 14 14 18 18 20 21 23 24 26 CHAPTER 3 - METHODS 3.1 Obtaining Access to the Community 3.1.1 Initial Visits 3.1.2 Initial Access to the Community 3.1.3 Becoming an Insider 58 60 60 63 63 viii 26 30 33 35 39 41 41 42 44 47 51 53 55 3.2 Recruitment, Sample Selection, Consent Process, Participants 3.2.1 Recruitment Methods 3.2.2 Sample Selection 3.2.3 Consent Process 3.2.4 Participants 3.3 Reflexivity 3.3.1 Positive vs. Negative Questions 3.3.2 Seeker Vs. Giver 3.3.3 Patriarchal Decision Making 3.3.4 Outsider Vs. Insider 3.3.5 “You tell me your story and I will tell you mine 3.4 Data Collection Procedures 3.4.1 Focus Groups 3.4.2 In-depth Interviews 3.4.3 Participant Observation 3.5 Data Analytical Approach 3.6 Retention of Participants and Leaving the Site 3.7 Trustworthiness of Data 3.8 Limitations of Methods 66 67 67 69 69 71 71 71 72 72 74 74 75 76 77 77 78 79 80 CHAPTER 4 – FINDINGS: A Sikh Village—A Home Away from Home 4.1 Reasons for Migration 4.2 New York: A Primary Destination for Sikh Men 4.2.1 Age at Migration and Current Age of Parents 4.2.2 Education Level of Parents 4.2.3 Men’s Employment 4.2.4 Initial Difficulties and Challenges: Men 4.2.5 Women’s Employment 4.2.6 Initial Difficulties and Challenges: Women 4.3 Secondary Migration: Riverton is Our Home 4.3.1 Reasons for Move to Riverton 4.3.1.1 Good Place to Start a Business—Riverton 4.3.1.2 Family Friendly Place—Riverton 4.3.1.3 Business Partnerships and Expansions in Riverton 4.3.2 Women’s Professions in Riverton 4.4 Factors affecting Successful Settlement in Riverton 4.5 Family Structure of Participants: Riverton 4.5.1 Children in the Families 4.5.2 Grandparents in the Families 4.5 Our Small Village: Riverton 4.6 Extended Family Members: Riverton 4.6.1 Family Supports 82 83 84 86 87 90 92 95 97 99 101 102 104 105 108 110 115 115 118 122 126 126 ix 4.6.2 Family Conflicts 4.7 The Heart of Our Village: Riverton Gurdwara 4.7.1 A Typical Sunday at Riverton Gurdwara CHAPTER 5 – FINDINGS: Sikh Parent Socialization Practices of Riverton Sikh Community 5.1 Parents’ Expectations from their Children 5.1.1 Expectations: Educational Attainment 5.1.1.1 Gender Differences: Educational Attainment 5.1.1.2 Expectations and Actions: Parent Involvement in Children’s Education 5.1.2 Expectations: Career and Job Aspirations 5.1.2.1 Gender Differences: Career and Job Aspirations 5.1.3 Expectations: Cultural Competence 5.1.4 Expectations: Behavioral 5.1.4.1 Gender Differences: Behavioral Expectations 5.1.4.2 Behavioral Expectations Based on Parents’ Childhood Experiences 5.1.5 Expectations: Growing Up with Minimum Discrimination 5.1.6 Expectations: Dating Behaviors 5.1.6.1 Gender Differences: Dating Behaviors 5.1.6.2 Dating Issues: Role Models in the Community 5.1.7 Expectations: Religious 5.1.7.1 Core Values of Religion 5.1.7.2 Moral Codes: Avoidance of Alcohol and Drug Abuse 5.1.7.3 Knowledge of Religion 5.1.7.4 Attachment to the Community 5.1.7.5 Outward Markers 5.2 Religious and Cultural Socialization 5.2.1 Children With, Without and Cut hair of their Parna 5.2.1.1 Families of Children Wearing Parna 5.2.1.2 Parents Decided not to Start Keeping Children’s Hair in Parna 5.2.1.3 Parents who Let their Children cut their Hair out of Parna 5.2.2 Keeping Long Hair vs. Short Hair: Type of Socialization 5.2.3 Parental Strategies: Teasing and Bullying 5.2.3.1 Strengthening Resilience to Deal with Teasing 5.2.3.2 Teaching Children to Become their Own Advocates 5.2.3.3 Advocating for their Children 5.2.4 Ways and Contexts of Religious and Cultural Socialization 5.2.4.1 Ways of Religious and Cultural Socialization 5.2.4.2 Contexts of Religious and Cultural Socialization 5.2.5 Factors affecting Parent Socialization x 128 132 135 141 141 142 147 148 154 155 157 163 168 172 174 175 176 179 180 180 184 185 186 186 187 190 190 193 196 199 200 201 201 202 203 203 215 229 CHAPTER 6 – SUMMARY AND IMPLICATIONS 6.1 Summary of Findings 6.2 Discussion 6.3 Practical Implications 6.4 Limitations of the Study 6.5 Conclusion and Future Directions 239 239 245 255 258 260 APPENDICES Appendix I: Permission Form from the Congregation Appendix II: Consent Forms Appendix III: Focus Group and Interview Protocols Appendix IV: Glossary of Terms 263 264 266 280 295 BIBLIOGRAPHY 298 xi LIST OF TABLES Table 4.1 Participant Information for First Migration 85 Table 4.2 Participant Information for First Migration 86 Table 4.3 Education Level of Parents 88 Table 4.4 Year of Secondary Migration and Parents’ Current Profession 101 Table 4.5 Children Information in the Participating Families 117 Table 4.6 Grandparents in Participants’ Families 120 Table 4.7 Riverton Neighborhoods of Participants 122 Table 5.1 List of Father-Son Dyads Wearing Turbans vs Cutting Their Hair 188 xii LIST OF FIGURES Figure 2.1 Theoretical framework to understand role of parent socialization practices of first generation Sikh immigrant parents in formation of ethno-religious identity of their 1.5 and second generation children 17 Figure 3.1 Planning, Recruitment, and Sampling 66 Figure 3.2 Study Participants 70 Figure 4.1 Emigration Districts in Punjab 82 Figure 4.2 First Professions of Men after Primary Migration 90 Figure 4.3 First Professions of Women after Primary Migration 96 Figure 4.4 Relationships among the Study Participants 125 xiii CHAPTER 1 INTRODUCTION A Sterling, Virginia family has received a letter containing an explicit death threat. Addressed to the “Turban family,” the letter reads, “Our people in the neighborhood have been closely watching your activities and figured out you are a close associate of a secret Taliban movement on the U.S. soil. We ask you to leave the country as soon as possible otherwise one of our people is going to shoot you dead. Do not attempt to relocate somewhere else in America as people are closely monitoring your day to day activities.” (Sunita Sohrabji, India-West, 2012) Incidences like these are constant reminders of the challenges that Sikhs face, especially men, due to the outward identity markers they wear (i.e., turbans and beards in the case of men). The particular family quoted above, also confronted other hate actions, such as vandalism and graffiti drawings on their home in Maryland before they moved to Virginia. As a part of Sikh faith, both men and women are required to grow their hair. Men tie turbans around their heads, boys wear a handkerchief (also known as Patka or Parna) over their knotted hair, and females wear braids. The men and boys are subjected to more incidences of racism and hatred crimes because their unique outward identity markers put them at risk of being mistaken for Arab Muslims in the current Islamophobic environment in the United States (Sheridan, 2006). Many times Sikh boys in schools are teased and bullied because of their religion and nationality. According to IndiaWest, a news magazine covering news about Indians living in the Western countries, one out of two Sikh students in New York City experience some form of harassment in school based on their religion or national origin, and two out of five Sikh students who wear turbans are subjected 1 to some form of physical harassment, either hitting, punching, or disrespectful touching of the head (India-West, 2007). Many questions arise. How do Sikh students react to such teasing and harassment? What meaning does ethno-religious identity hold for children of this immigrant minority group from India? How do parents of these children socialize them to deal with day-to-day discrimination in the receiving country, i.e., the U.S. in this case? What values of the Sikh faith do parents teach their children so that they can navigate their socialization worlds outside of their family and community? The current ethnographic study explored these questions with a close-knit Sikh community living in a city of 130,000, which I call Riverton, in the Midwest region. The research is an in-depth year-long ethnographic study of cultural and religious practices of participating parents, children, and community members in the contexts of their homes, Gurdwara (Sikh temple), and family businesses. Initial rapport with participants was established at the community Gurdwara in Riverton. I participated in Sunday services at the Gurdwara, attended various community festivals, and visited families’ businesses to establish the trust with the participants. My dissertation uses data from 3 focus groups with fathers, mothers, and grandparents in the community; 24 in-depth interviews with 12 fathers, 11 mothers, and one girl whom I interviewed as a proxy for her deceased mother; and field notes and observation data during the Sunday services and the community events. 1.1. Significance of the Study The study is important for several reasons. First, the immigrant population in the United States has increased manifold since the 1965 Immigration Act; about 22% of young people growing in the U.S. today have at least one parent born outside of the United States (Hernandez, 2 Denton, & McCartney, 2007). It is important to understand the family values and belief systems of different ethnic groups so that children’s ethnic identity can be appreciated in the school setting (Aboud & Doyle, 1993). It is also important to understand whether religion and ethnoreligious identities of children help foster resilience and hence impact their adaptation in the country of immigration. In the United States, there are approximately two million people of Indian origin alone, of which about 430,000 children between 4-14 years are enrolled in schools. About one-fourth of these children of ages between 4-14 years of Asian Indian origin are enrolled in schools in the Midwest region (Census, 2010). According to the Association of Religion Data Archives (ARDA 2010), Sikhs constitute about 0.1% of all the U.S. population and 12% of all Indians in the U.S., totaling about 310,000. It is important to explore parent socialization practices of Sikh immigrant parents, to understand their family values and belief systems and the impact of parent socialization on the experiences of Sikh school going children because the interaction of home and school play an immense role in children’s development, such as psychological adjustment, school engagement, and academic achievement. The study is also important as seen within the post-September 11 context. The terrorist attacks in New York and Washington affected many new immigrants, particularly those who wear their outward religious identity symbols (i.e., women and girls wearing hijab, men with beard and turban). Close to 1,000 racial bias incidences occurred at various places in the United States on the day after the New York attack (Ahmad, 2002). It also specially affected Sikh community, including children and youth who were at various stages of forming their identities. th In the wake of the Twin Towers attacks on 11 September, 2001 that was carried out by a terrorist group of Arab origin and Muslim religion, many Sikhs became the targets of that physical violence and bigotry due to their apparent “racial uniform,” a turban and beard in the 3 case of male Sikhs, which to Sikhs is a religious uniform (Gupta, 2007; Singh, 2003) that bears significant similarities to that of Muslim males. In a study conducted with Sikh children and families, Verma (2004) reported that due to post 9/11 backlash, some Sikh children and youth stopped attending schools and changed their physical appearances, became depressed, and were even suicidal. The parents of these children displayed patriotic American sentiments in order to promote an appearance of belonging by conducting rallies, going to schools, and even talking publicly about how Sikh community condemned the attacks (Verma, 2004). Since the attack, outward religious symbols became very apparent and have triggered negative stereotypes. For example, the turban has become an integral component of racial profiling within surveillance technologies of counter-terrorism (Puar & Rai, 2004). Given the current post 9/11 context of Islamophobia in the United States, it is important to understand how families and children cope with these stereotypical images associated with their religion or outward religious uniforms. It is also important to understand how parents and their community socialize their children and protect them against such differential treatment in the mainstream society. Religion, despite the important role it plays in child development, is often ignored in the identity literature (Williams, 2007). In the last decade, there has been an increase on research in the importance of religion in child development (Lerner, Roeser, & Phelps, 2008; Smith & Denton, 2005). Another group of scholars incorporated religiosity and spirituality in studying identity development in youth (Roeser et al., 2008; Templeton & Eccles, 2008). Religion plays an important role in studying immigrant population, who often bring their religion and culture with them. Immigrants tend to become more religious after migration to form and preserve personal and group identity—though religion is not the only marker (Yang & Ebaugh, 2001). 4 Therefore, the present study helps in understanding religious and cultural practices of Sikh immigrant families and their role in child development. 1.2. Religion and Child Development There is a body of literature that emphasizes the role of religion and spirituality in positive youth development. Attendance at Sunday services reduces drug and alcohol abuse in youth (Pullen, Modrcin-Talbott, West, & Muecnchen, 1999). Youth learn various values through religious and spiritual practices that correspond to three of the five C’s of positive youth development: character, connection, and caring (Lerner and colleagues, 2008). Such youth are more engaged and inclined to civic participation and positive contribution in communities (Lerner et al., 2007), find a sense of social belonging, meet basic needs for meaning and purpose in life, develop self-understanding and transcendence, and contribute positively to altruistic activities through organized forms of religion and spirituality (Ho & Ho, 2007). In a social institution of faith, youth sometimes seek adults that can serve as positive role models and cultural ideals, explore self-images and life purposes, and perform desirable social and occupational roles (King & Roeser, 2009). Smith and Denton (2005) found significant differences between religious and non-religious youth outcomes—religious youth were less involved in risk behaviors, had better quality of family and adult relationships, participated in community, refrained from pre-marital and risky sexual behaviors, consumed media judiciously, and had better emotional well-being than their non-religious counterparts. Increasingly, a great number of mental health professionals are using ideas of religion and spirituality in planning interventions for their patients (Chiu, Emblen, Hofwegen, Sawatzky, & Meyerhoff, 2004; Hill & Pargament, 2003; Pullen et al., 1999). During the last decade, the studies on spirituality and 5 religion were conducted with Christian youth in the United States. Fewer studies were conducted with African American youth (Ferraro & Koch, 1994; Marks, Nesteruk, Swanson, Garrison, & Davis, 2005; Mattis, 2002). A study conducted by Imam and colleagues (2009) found that in Malaysian Muslim youth, spiritual well-being predicted self-efficacy, self-esteem, and life satisfaction. However, studies on role of religion in the youth development from immigrant minority groups are scant. To the best of my knowledge, there is no study conducted with Sikh youth and their parents in the context of religion and development. 1.3. Religion and Immigrants Often times it is complicated to differentiate between religion and ethnicity for some new immigrant groups, where their day-to-day life is influenced by their religion. For such immigrant groups, Sikhs among them, one should expect that parents socialize their children about their religious practices and that religion is integrated into their ethnic identity. Researchers often examine these two variables together as a single construct, that is, ethno-religious identity (Stout, 1975). There is a dearth of research on ethno-religious identity formation among children of various religious groups in the United States and socialization practices of their parents towards construction of that identity. The psychological and educational outcomes of children with strong ethno-religious identities are also understudied. However, examining the ethno-religious identity development in the youth and its outcomes was beyond the scope of the study. It is important to remember that religious affiliation is context specific. The expression of religious affiliation is dependent upon the dominant and less represented status of the religion in the host country. In identity research, Sellers and colleagues (1997) described how private regard (feelings about one’s own ethnic group identity—religious group in this case) and public 6 regard (what an individual perceives as the ideas others have toward his/her religious group) may lead to conflicts in children’s thinking, which often has implications for psychological wellbeing. It is important to understand how children of various ethno-religious groups negotiate their inner and outer worlds (i.e., private and public regard). It is also imperative to explore socialization messages that their parents use in fostering their ethno-religious identities while accommodating in the United States. Bhatia (2002) stressed the importance of the dialogical process that constantly goes on in children’s and parents’ minds in negotiating their different worlds. This process also happens in communication between parents and children in order to negotiate identities. Parental messages also help children to develop coping mechanisms against discrimination and prejudices (Hughes et al., 2006). Sikh men and boys often wear their religious symbols, which make them easy targets for discrimination and harassment. These symbols, often known as the 5 Ks, are: Kesh (unshorn hair), Kanga (comb), Kirpan (sword), Karha (steel bracelet), and Kachha (breeches worn by warriors). It is important to understand how Sikh parents socialize their children to maintain their ethno-religious identities, while adjusting to their life in the United States, because it has direct implications for their children’s education and psychological adjustment. Some work has been done with second generation Punjabi Sikh children in California by Margaret Gibson (1989). The main focus of Gibson’s work was to explore the factors associated with educational achievement of second generation Punjabi students. The other objective was to understand the assimilation of the Sikh families in the United States. Gibson found that the second-generation Punjabi Sikh children outperformed their native peers; however, their immigrant parents promoted mistrust among their children against white peers, so as to preserve traditional Punjabi values. The research concluded that these Punjabi families made 7 accommodations for succeeding in the United States, but they did not assimilate with the majority racial group. Hall (1995) also conducted a study with second generation Sikh teenagers in Britain. The adolescents reported pressure to fit into both cultures (Indian and British) straddling between different socialization contexts. The question remains, however, of how these Sikh immigrant parents transmit ethno-religious values to their children. The current study was undertaken to fill this gap in the literature. We do not know the outcomes of strong ethno-religious identities of immigrant children. However, some work has been done on how children with strong ethnic-racial identity do in various areas of their development. Research shows that immigrant children and U.S. born children of immigrants, who have strong ethnic-racial identities, often demonstrate positive psychological and educational outcomes (Kim & Chao, 2009; Seaton, 2009; Zhou & Bankston, 1998). An early development of ethnic-racial identity protects children from negative effects of racial and ethnic prejudices by fostering resilience (Lee, 2005), which further prevents the mental health problems like depression, anxiety, and other psychosocial problems. Strong ethnic-racial identity also predicts higher self-esteem, although there are some inconsistencies in the findings across ethnic groups (DuBois, Burk-Brazton, Swenson, Tevendale, & Hardesty, 2002; Lee). Ethnic-racial identity also predicts positive attitudes toward out-group children and adults, cross-ethnic friendships, better adjustment in school, and good academic performance (Phinney, Horenczyk, Liebkind, & Vedder, 2001; Zhou & Bankston). Unlike earlier immigrants, who assimilated into the American society as a “melting pot,” post-1965 immigrants bring their cultural values, beliefs, and religion with them to practice pursue a pluralistic society like the United States (Berry & Sam, 1997). With rapid mobility and 8 the advent of electronic communication across borders, identities, be it religious or ethnic or a combination of both, are becoming more fluid in nature and are shaped within social networks and interactions with other ethnic groups (Ballard, 2000). Due to increased mobility, contemporary immigrants have more power to choose opportunities and values of host country while maintaining values of their countries of origin. There are a number of factors that can affect maintenance of ethno-religious identity by immigrants groups, thereby transmitting these values to their children: size and structure of pre-existing ethnic communities, pressure to assimilate, political relations between sending and receiving countries, state of economy, reasons for emigration, modes of incorporation that further include policies of host government, characteristics of ethnic community, and values and prejudices of receiving society. In addition to these factors, the political and historical background of Sikhs in India might influence their ethno-religious identities and their parent socialization practices, in particular, that of first generation parents, who were raised in India. After the September 11 attacks, religion, especially Islam, has become a sensitive identity construct to identify with; it was interesting to explore how Sikh immigrant parents, whose ethnic and religious identities were integrated and who were often mistaken as Muslims, socialize their children in their country of immigration. It was also worth exploring the messages of the Sikh parents in the study to examine which religious values did they teach their children. 1.4. Immigration, Negotiation, Adaptation, and Discrimination Why do people migrate when they can easily socialize their children in their religion and cultural values with much ease in their home country? People migrate for several reasons, including, but not limited to, better economic opportunities, presence of networks, fear of 9 political persecution in home country, and displacement due to war. Many immigrants also move in hope of a better education system for their children; they often consider the act of immigration as a tremendous investment in their children’s future because the process can directly affect children through better schools and opportunities for economic enhancement (Fuligini & Yoshikawa, 2002; Ogbu & Herbert, 1998). Immigrant parents as well as their children often have high educational aspirations and optimism in a host society (Lopez, 2001; Ogbu & Herbert). Immigrant parents are constantly involved in the negotiations to pick the best of the host country for their children and maintenance of religious and cultural values from their home country (Gibson, 1989). The task is tremendous—there are competing influences in the changed contexts including school and peer influence. Minority parents socialize their children to construct and negotiate their ethnic identities between two different cultures, languages, and often between two different nations in the case of immigrants (Garcia Coll et al., 1996; Slaughter, Johnson, & Spencer, 2009). The way parents transmit information, values, and perspectives about ethnicity and race to their children is commonly referred to as ethnic or racial socialization (Hughes et al., 2006). Ethnic-racial socialization has been studied mostly in African American families among domestic groups in the United States. In recent years, since 1990 in particular, socialization research has been undertaken with Latino and Asian American sub-groups (Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, & Korean). To the best of my knowledge, very little work has been undertaken on parent socialization practices of immigrants of Indian origin (Dasgupta, 1985; Inman et al., 2007; Saran, 1985), in particular, with Sikh immigrants, a religious group that comprises about 12% of all Indian immigrants in the United States. There are about 310,000 Sikhs in the United States, onefifth of them in the Midwest alone (ARDA 2010; Mann, 2006). 10 There are three immigration waves of Sikhs that came to the United States: the first wave came as farm laborers and railroad workers in California in late 1800s; after a long backlash against non-Euro immigrants, the 1965 Hart-Cellar Immigration Act that aimed at family reunification and higher education, opened the doors for the second wave of Sikh immigrants; the third wave came in late 1980s and early 1990s to find refuge from 1984 Hindu-Sikh riots. Like many other immigrants, they viewed the United States as the land of opportunity and an escape from political upheaval in their home country (Puar & Rai, 2004). The political turmoil is described in detail in the next chapter. The Sikhs who came to the United States as a result of this turmoil might have been less keen to keep their national identity and more open to assimilating into American society. Some Sikhs became more religious after the 1984-riots (Mann, 2006). That being said, Sikhs, like other immigrant groups and domestic minorities, faced prejudices and discrimination at societal level in the United States since their arrival—due to hard their working nature, many natives feared to lose their jobs and broke violence against Sikhs who settled in California in early 1900s. In 1907, a group of White laborers attacked an Asian Indian community in Bellingham, Washington and drove about 700 Sikhs to Canada. In the chronology of discrimination, the Sikhs were rounded up by the White laborers in Everett and driven out of the town (Takaki, 1989). Moreover, Sikh men and boys often wear their religious symbols, which make them easy target of discrimination and harassment. Gibson in her work also sought perspective of natives of one of the California towns where Sikhs owned big lands—the natives reported having negative attitudes towards Sikhs living in the same community (1989). The way the host society receives immigrants is one of the many crucial factors in their success in their new homeland as well as in the formation of their identities (Stepick, Grenier, Castro, & Dunn, 2003). In addition to day to day discrimination of Sikhs based on their outward 11 identity symbols, September 11 attacks created backlash for many Sikhs living in the United States. The people around the world and in the United States, including Sikhs, condemned this act of terrorism, yet they became victims of bigotry and hatred of Americans due to their racial uniform. Five Indians, of which two were Sikhs, were killed in the acts of violence in the United States (Ahmad, 2002). The law became inaccessible when various acts of violence took place in the premises of many Temples, Mosques, and Gurdwaras. The backlash against outward identity symbols made many Sikhs vacillate between keeping their religious identity and safety issues in their relatively new homeland. The incident had a particular powerful impact on children and youth who were at various stages of forming their identities. 1.5. Research Questions Given the Sikhs’ experiences in India and in the United States, in maintaining their ethno-religious identities, I undertook the current ethnographic study with the primary research question—how do Sikh immigrant parents socialize their 10-17 years old boys in fostering ethno-religious identities? This study will examine contexts of migration, community, and Gurdwara by in-depth involvement and participation in the community activities (i.e., Sunday services, festivals, and community events). I will explore the following research questions in the current study. 1. What parent socialization practices do Sikh immigrant parents use to foster ethnoreligious identities in their pre-adolescent s and adolescents? 2. What roles does Sikh community play in supporting parent socialization goals of Sikh parents? 12 1.6. Organization of the Dissertation This dissertation is organized into five chapters. The first three chapters set the stage for findings and future work. In Chapter 1, the introduction, I provide the significance of the study and introduce my research questions. In the next chapter, Review of Literature, I present the theoretical framework used for the current study and the comprehensive review of the studies in various areas such as immigration and parent socialization, role of religion in child development, ethnic identity formation, and discrimination. I start with a broader set of studies and later focus on the studies on Sikh immigrant parents and their children. In Chapter 3, Methods, I provide details on the ethnographic methodology such as gaining access to community, sample selection, the study site, data collection, data analysis, trustworthiness, and leaving the site. I divide the findings into two chapters – Chapter 4 and 5, which give detailed descriptions of the community and parent socialization in the Sikh community. The findings on self-concepts and ethno-religious identity formation in Sikh youth will be published in the future as a separate study. In the dissertation, only parents and th grandparents data are presented. The 6 and final chapter is a summary of findings, along with a discussion of implications for future research in the field. Appendices are provided which cover the interview protocols; Institutional Review Board (IRB) approved consents; and glossary of cultural and/or religious specific terms. 13 CHAPTER 2 REVIEW OF LITERATURE In this chapter, I present the bio-ecological framework developed by Urie Bronfenbrenner (1979) to understand parent socialization practices of Sikh parents (Figure 2.1). Following the theoretical framework, I present the summary of work done in various areas, i.e., immigration, parent socialization, and ethno-religious identity formation among Sikh children, that has informed the model. 2.1. Theoretical Framework Bronfenbrenner (1979; 2005) provided a bioecological theoretical framework to study development within different contexts, known as a person-process-contexts-time (PPCT) model, which defines how processes taking place in a person’s immediate context (setting) affect the developing person over time (Bronfenbrenner, 1998; also see Bronfenbrenner, 2005). Transitions taking place over time may affect the context, processes, and hence development—immigrant families exemplify these transitions well. According to Bronfenbrenner’s model, the active human being is able to reciprocate many interactions with the systems around her; these interactions are known as proximal processes. For example, if parents can influence a child’s development, the child’s characteristics and behaviors can elicit different responses from parents (i.e., reciprocity). Not only human beings, but the human made environment also plays an important role in development of a child. The changes in the environments are termed as “ecological transitions”; human development is also based on past experiences, so while studying an individual in a new context, her historical context is also important to consider. 14 There are four different layers of environments in Bronfenbrenner’s bioecological model—known as Microsystem, Mesosystem, Exosystem, and Macrosystem. Bronfenbrenner’s model can be used to understand immigrant parent socialization, in this study, that of Sikh immigrant parents. Immigration removes an individual from many predictable environments including relationships with extended family members, community members, and friends (SuarezOrozco, 2000). It is important to understand how a change in context changes people’s relationships and, and hence the development. (Please refer to Figure 2.1). The context of immigrant parents changes over time—which, in turn, impacts the proximal processes with their children. Immigrant parenting is built upon methods learned in their country of origin. In the United States, in addition to socialization towards development, immigrant parents are pressed with the needs to socialize their children to construct and negotiate their ethnic identities between two different cultures, languages, and often between two different nations (Garcia Coll et al., 1996). There are several other factors within the different levels of the bioecological model that may impact parent socialization practices, which include but are not limited to: 1) microsystem level factors—characteristics of children (age, education, gender, etc.) and characteristics of the entities that are in direct contact with children, such as that of parents, school, peers, neighborhood, religious congregation, grandparents, and ethnic community in the case of Sikh immigrant parents. There are constant proximal processes between children and the components of microsystem. 2) Mesosystem level factors include interaction of two microsystem level factors such as interaction of parents with teachers, grandparents or extended family members, and ethnic community. It may also include interaction between the ethnic community and school. Dissonance between two microsystems could affect a child’s well-being. For example, for immigrant children, their 15 socialization contexts are different at home and school. The conformity pressures in these two contexts can affect a child’s well-being. 3) Exosystem level factors do not affect children directly, but make a difference through interactions with entities of Mesosystem. For example, for the Sikh parents in the study, it might include, but not be limited to, parents’ experiences in the U.S. and in India, parents’ work hours, and parents’ connections overseas. Finally, 4) Macrosystem level factors include the history of race and religion, contexts of sending country, assimilation forces and laws and legislations in the host country. Usually the outer layer (i.e. Macrosystem) has indirect or lower degree effect on microsystem processes, but in case of immigrants, Macrosystem level factors permeate easily to family dynamics of immigrants. New advances in technology help immigrants maintain ties with their home country. Due to advent of globalization and advancement of new technology, immigrant populations are highly mobile and occupy a transnational space more frequently. Globalization has also increased networks (and thus flow of immigrants), communications, and means to maintain ties with home country (e.g., provision of dual citizenship). Due to the increased development in these arenas, contemporary immigrants have more power to choose most important opportunities and values of host country and yet keep their loyalties with their countries of origin. The central construct of interest is self-concept and identity formation of young and old adolescents (Please refer to Figure 2.1). However, in the current study, I am interested in exploring parent socialization practices of Sikh immigrant parents toward ethno-religious identity formation. The Sikh community, grandparents, Sikh congregation, and extended family members can directly socialize the children in the community and support the parenting roles and contexts of socialization. 16 Figure 2.1. Theoretical framework for understanding role of parent socialization practices of first generation Sikh immigrant parents in formation of ethno-religious identity of their 1.5 and second generation children History of Race and Religion Laws and Legislation Technology Development Context of Sending Country Assimilation Forces Macrosystem Parents’ Experiences in the U.S. Parents’ Connection with Overseas Families Parents’ Experiences in India Parents’ Work Hours Exosystem Parents— Grandparents/Extended Family Members Parents— School Parents— Sikh Community Sikh Community— School Mesosystem Extended Family Members Grandparents Neighborhood Parents Religious Congregation Schools Sikh Community Peers (Sikhs & non-Sikhs) Microsystem Pre-Adolescents/Adolescents Identity formation 17 In the following sections, I will present a review of studies that informed the parent socialization of Sikh parents within Bronfenbrenner’s bioecological framework. The literature review is organized into three main sections: 1) Immigration in United States, which includes reasons for migration and change in family dynamics, immigrant parent expectations, reasons for secondary migration, risk and resilience among immigrants, Sikh immigration history and Sikh immigrant population in the U.S., 2) Parent socialization, father involvement/socialization, grandparents involvement/socialization, ethno racial identity, and discrimination, and 3) The third section is on parent socialization and the role of religion in Sikh families that includes religion and identity development, an introduction to ethno-religious identity, the role of religion in positive youth development, the history of Sikhs and ethno-religious identities of Sikhs in India, the role of religion in Sikh families, discrimination against Sikhs in the U.S., and parent socialization and identity formation in Sikh immigrants. 2.2. Immigration in the United States 2.2.1. Reasons for migration and change in family dynamics Both macro level (push and pull) forces and micro level factors guide the decision of migration (Massey, Durand, & Malone, 2003). Pull forces include, but not limited to better economic and education opportunities in developed countries. Push forces from emigrating countries include low wages, harsh education system, and political and religious persecution (Fitzgerald, 2009). The micro level factors include decision-making in families (i.e., who will go), prospects of family reunification, resources available to the person/family migrating, and cost-benefit ratio of migration. People continue to migrate due to existing social networks in the 18 country of migration (Massey et al., 2003). It is important to understand motivations and factors that lead to migration in examining the adaptation experiences of new immigrants. Families with children often migrate to the developed countries for better educational and economic opportunities (Massey et al., 2003). However, immigrant families undergo many transitions and make adjustments to their lives in new countries. Immigration changes ecological settings of migrating adults and children, that is, it removes migrating individuals from their predictable contexts and many of their relationships with extended families, friends, jobs, and community ties ; this transition often times is very stressful for these families (Bush et al., 2005; Sluzki, 1979; Suarez-Orozco, 2000). There are some changes that a family must undergo to adapt successfully in receiving countries, i.e., family members must learn some norms of host society and functional skills such as language, rules at work, and school discourse. On the other hand there are some changes that a family may resist—for example, not losing their native language and cultural rituals. The processes of undergoing some changes and resisting others have been defined as morphogenesis and homeostasis, respectively, in the literature (Whitchurch & Constantine, 1993: 332). In addition to retaining their own cultural identity and values, parents like their children adjust to the new societal norms (Arendell, 1997; Inman et al., 2007). Other scholars have defined similar practices as acculturation, i.e., learning norms of host culture, and enculturation, i.e., retaining own culture and language (Berry & Sam, 1997). Families with children often desire that their children do well in school, learn English, and participate in life in the host society. On the other hand, immigrant parents also fear that their children might lose their native culture. Children and parents are active participants in “negotiating culture” that shapes trajectory of development of children in the mainstream culture and relationships with their parents (Thorne, Orellana, Lam, & Chee, 2003, p. 258). Bhatia 19 (2002) explained that this communication between parents and children about negotiating culture involves a continuous and intense dialogical process, in which parents and children move back and forth between different cultural positions that are linked to both, one’s home culture and host culture. Children often struggle with conforming to the dominant cultural norms while maintaining traditional values of their immigrant parents. For second-generation immigrant children, expectations at home are often inconsistent with those outside the home (Foner, 1997; Kim, Gonzales, Stroh, & Wang, 2006). Children play an important part in the process of migration via their presence, participation, and relationship with adults. “Growing up” in the United States may often be challenging for children of immigrants as they often are ambivalent between being cooperative and resistant to their parents’ authority and control (Thorne et al., 2003, p. 251). “The most children long to be like others” notion could make this negotiation challenging for children who are growing up among their American peers (Suarez-Orozco, 2000, p.199). The values and childrearing goals of immigrant parents may conflict with how their children want to grow up under the influence of their native peers. Parents often lose their authority over children and dissonance between values of parents and children can lead to further conflicts in immigrant families (Qin, 2006). Children may also have feelings of embarrassment in regard to their parents’ “old fashioned” ways (Suarez-Orozco, 2000). 2.2.2. Immigrant Parent Expectations Many parents make decisions to migrate to more developed countries keeping their children’s better future in mind. The expectations of these immigrant parents start with the decision to move (Fuligini & Yoshikawa, 2002). Expectations of immigrant parents are rooted in their cultural traditions, personal experiences, and these expectations are often shaped by the 20 societal norms of the host society (Li, 2001). Parents who volunteer to migrate to a new country bring optimism and high expectations for their children to succeed in the new country (Ogbu, 1995; Zhou, 2009). Parental expectations are often shaped by their beliefs, attitudes, and knowledge. Parents’ cognition in socializing their children is influenced in different contexts and hence their expectations are also shaped by new contexts and times (Bornstein & Cote, 2006; Patel et al., 1996). Many immigrant parents expect their children to do well in American schools, adjust to the life in the United States, and maintain their ethnic and cultural identities (Gibson, 1989; Li, 2001; Patel et al., Thorne et al., 2003; Zhou & Bankston, 1998). Patel and colleagues (1996) in their work with Indian immigrant parents argued that Indian parents were achievement oriented, formal education and individual success oriented, materialistic, ambitious, and upwardly mobile, they expected their children to follow restrictions in social life and dating, subjugate wishes to parental authority, and go for arranged marriages. However, these parents, when compared with their Indian counterparts, were less likely to be authoritarian because parental modernity, acculturation, and time in the United States changed their parenting style and expectations. In the next section, I will present literature on the secondary move that many immigrants make after entering into a new country. 2.2.3. Reasons for Secondary Migration Immigrants, after migrating to their primary destinations, mostly in big cities, in host countries often make a second move and disperse to various places in the same country. Their primary migration is based on the “opportunity structure” available in the big cities of primary migration that they get to know through already existing networks (Takenaka, 2005). According to Portes and Rambaut (1990) the first choice of entry for immigrants is influenced by various factors such as historical points of entry, proximity to origin, and economic niches available at 21 the place; for refugees it is based on government’s decision of location for refugees and asylumseekers in the refuge seeking countries (Portes and Rambaut). Years after arrival at their primary destinations, immigrants continue to settle and change their spaces (McHugh et al., 1997). Often times, ethnic minorities concentrate and segregate in various places either due to already existing networks at that place or due to a collective decision to settle down in the area as a group. Various factors including social, cultural, and economic needs affect the decision making of immigrants for their secondary migration (Smith, 2004). Other reasons include personal preferences and housing needs (Newbold, 1996). Takenaka (2005) argued that the secondary migration is often influenced by an intention to “climb socioeconomic ladder.” Economic immigrants may be presented with employment opportunities in a different city that might promote relocation, whereas the immigrants who arrive with family reunification purposes chose locations closer to their families and friends (Belanger & Rogers, 1992; Owusu, 1999; Simich et al., 2002). Immigrants, after living at their primary destinations for years, accrue human capital in the forms of education and skills. Those who are low on human capital skills tend to migrate to places where their co-ethnic or co-national community is living. The co-ethnic communities can help poorly skilled immigrants (Dunlevy, 1991; Nogle, 1998; Saenz, 1991). In the last two decades New York is the biggest loser of secondary migrants and Florida and California are biggest receivers of primary and secondary migrants (Nogle, 1998). Sometimes immigrant parents move to a different destination for better education prospects for their children. The reasons for secondary migration are listed in literature as presence of family and friends, better education and employment prospects, business prospects, prior knowledge of the place, climate, lifestyle, and quality housing. Immigrants take risks while making their moves to their primary 22 and secondary destinations. However, by their secondary migration they are more acclimatized to the environment of their host country. In the next section, I will discuss briefly on risk and resilience among immigrants. 2.2.4. Risk and Resilience among Immigrants In this section, I will review the scant literature available on resilience among immigrants. Ogbu (1987) described the phenomenon of “immigrant optimism”, which means that voluntary immigrants come to developed countries with lots of optimism to succeed. Immigrants are natural risk takers—even though they calculate the cost benefit ratio before making their move (Massey et al., 2003), they still take risk of losing their relationships with extended family members, friends, community ties, customs, living conditions, jobs, etc. with their move to a developed country in search of better opportunities, which are often not guaranteed (Suarez-Orozco, 2000). Only a few studies have examined whether this “optimism” continues over years (Luster, Bates, & Johnson, 2006). Along with many other risk factors in the new land, children and adults may face some overt or covert discrimination. Not all children and adults react in the same way towards discrimination and prejudice. Why some children thrive in face of those adversities can be attributed to protective factors present in their lives that foster resilience. The risks and protective factors present in an individual’s ecosystem can be divided into four levels (Masten & Powell, 2003): 1) Individual level, 2) Relationships, 3) Community, and 4) Culture. Strong ethnic-racial identity and parental messages may serve as protective factors (Bhatia, 2002; Lee, 2005). More studies are needed in the direction of risk and resilience among immigrant populations. For the current study, I was interested in exploring the protective factors in Sikh children’s lives, assuming their ethno-religious identity, parental messages, community, and 23 values would be some of them (Lee, 2005). But in the present study, I only included parents’ and grandparents’ data and parents clearly articulated that living closer to the community protected their boys from drug and substance abuse. I haven’t included children’s data in this manuscript. In the next section, I will elaborate the immigration history of Sikhs in the United States. 2.2.5. Sikh Immigration History and Population in the U.S. The first Sikhs, predominantly males, came to the West Coast in the late 1800s as farm laborers and railroad workers. Despite the impediments created due to legal and racial discrimination, Sikhs were able to make their journey carrying their American dreams. In the 1920s, the population of Sikhs grew to about 7,000 (Mann, 2006). Gradually they started to buy land in California and became a thriving farming community (Mann, 2000; p. 260). In 1924, when Asian immigration was banned in the United States, the Sikh population was reduced to less than a quarter of what it was in the 1920s. Many of them returned to India (Mann, 2006; Takaki, 1989). Some of the early Sikhs who came as farmers married Mexican women and settled in California, whereas those who came for education and got white collar jobs married Caucasian women and settled on the West Coast, but within the Sikh enclaves. These males, despite their outrace marriages, continued to play a vital role in the Sikh communities (Mann, 2006). After the 1946 Lucer-Cell Act and 1965 Hart-Cellar Immigration Act, the influx of Indian immigrants along with Sikhs started to come to the United States. In 1980, Sikhs constituted more than 50% of the total immigrants from India (Gonzalez, 1986). There are currently 23 million Sikhs in the world—about 17 million in Punjab, and the other 6 million in other parts of South Asia, Southeast Asia, East Africa, Europe and North America (Mann, 2006). Indians make up the third largest group of Asians and comprise of more than 2.75 million people, which totals 16% of all Asians in the United States (Census, 2010). 24 According to the Census Bureau (2010), the majority of Asian Indians are living in the following ten states of the United States: California, New York, New Jersey, Texas, Illinois, Florida, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Maryland, and Georgia. The Sikhs came to the United States in large number in late 1980s and early 1990s seeking exile from Hindu-Sikh riots. As many other immigrants before them, they idealized the United States as the land of opportunity and an escape from political upheaval in their home countries (Puar & Rai, 2004). Currently there are approximately 310,000 Sikhs in the United States, which is 11% of all Asian Indians (ARDA, 2010). Most Sikhs, who emigrated from India, were from the Punjab state, which has a majority of Sikhs. Punjab is comprised of 70% Jat Sikhs, a caste within Sikh religion, members of whom are mostly agricultural farmers (Mann, 2000). Likewise, Sikhs who migrate to the United States are mostly the Jat Sikhs, who initially settled in California and started to purchase farms on the West coast. Most Sikhs speak Punjabi as their first language, with a few exceptions of some European men who were converted to Sikhs and moved to the United States. Very few studies have looked at parent-children dyads in the Sikh community (Gibson, 1989), more specifically, parent socialization practices towards ethno-religious identity formation. In the next section, I present the existing literature on parent socialization including father and grandparent’s socialization, ethnic-racial identity formation, and discrimination in domestic and immigrant minorities. Very few studies have looked at parent socialization practices of immigrant parents from the Indian subcontinent (Inman et al., 2007); in particular, the dialogical process, such as questions like how do parents negotiate with their children or what are the messages that immigrant parents give to their children to help accommodate in the host society while still maintaining their own cultural identities, has not been explored (Bhatia, 2002). 25 2.3. Parent Socialization, Father Involvement/Socialization, Grandparent Involvement/Socialization, Ethnic-Racial Identity, and Discrimination 2.3.1. Parent Socialization: Domestic and Immigrant Minorities Parents play an important role in their children’s socialization. The proximal processes, i.e., interactions between children and parents that are reciprocal and complex, are used to study the effect of parenting on child outcomes, which are termed as parent socialization practices (Bronfenbrenner & Morris, 1998; Oakagaki & Luster, 2005). Parenting is influenced by cultural values, beliefs, and contexts – domestic minority and immigrant parents socialize their children within their racial, ethnic, and cultural norms (Ogbu, 1981). In addition to socialization towards development, these parents are pressed with the needs to socialize their children to construct and negotiate their ethnic identities between two different cultures, languages, and often between two different nations (Garcia Coll et al., 1996). The way parents transmit information, values, and perspectives about ethnicity and race to their children, is commonly referred to as ethnic or racial socialization (Hughes et al., 2006). These are also the parental practices that teach children about their cultural heritage and history; teach them the cultural customs and traditions; and promote cultural, racial, and ethnic pride, either deliberately (i.e., intentional or overt) or implicitly (i.e., unintentional or covert) (Hughes et al., 2006, p. 749). Most minority parents make psychological sense of and help their children cope with disparities and discrimination. Therefore, most of the time parents include ethnicracial socialization in their parenting practices (Ward, 2000). It is important to give messages about the differences early on to children about their race and ethnicity to insulate them from biases and discrimination and to prevent the development of negative self-concepts, which is a critical component of ethnic-racial socialization. Ethnic-racial socialization can be – proactive 26 and reactive: it’s proactive when parents prepare their children to expect bias and prejudices in the outside world before encountering any real incidences; it’s reactive when some parents talk with their children when they or their children encounter any discriminatory situation in their day-to-day life (Hughes & Johnson, 2001). It can be verbal or nonverbal, initiated by parents or by children (Hughes et al., 2008). Coard and colleagues (2004) identified four different components of ethnic-racial socialization used by African American parents to socialize their children: 1) racial preparation, where parents make their children aware of racial barriers; for this type of preparation they used two types of racial protocols: defensive and strategic. The defensive racial protocol includes distrust, social distance, and intergroup distance, whereas the strategic racial protocol includes an adaptive racial orientation; 2) racial pride, where parents teach their children about their history and heritage, unity, and group commitment; 3) racial equality, where parents expanded egalitarian merits and co-existence of many ethnic communities in multicultural society, and 4) racial achievement, where parents emphasized character building and importance to excel. In a recent study, Hughes and colleagues (2008) listed four parallel components of ethnic-racial socialization across most studies done to date: 1) emphasis on cultural values, beliefs, heritage, tradition known as cultural socialization; 2) discussion about the prevalent racial stereotypes and ways to protect children from discrimination and prejudices, also called preparation for bias; 3) emphasis on respect for diversity and equality across the multi-ethnic group, known as egalitarianism; and 4) stress on developing wariness against other ethnic or majority ethnicity groups, known as promotion of mistrust. Parents use different ways to give messages about race relations and teach their children to deal with discrimination. These means include oral communication (discussion about 27 discrimination, history and heritage of race and ethnicity, problem solving), role playing, modeling, and exposure to various situations and groups (Coard et al., 2004). Immigrant parents often bring objects from their home countries, take their children for yearly visits, maintain connections with extended family members, involve their children in cultural activities, and visit religious places (Caplan, Whitmore, & Choy, 1991; Zhou & Bankston, 1998). They also maintain contacts with community members to keep their children abreast of cultural activities— these community members are sources of cultural and social capital (Zhou & Bankston, 1998). It is important to consider children’s and parents’ characteristics, including children’s age and gender, parents’ socio-economic status, marital status, family of origin as well as contextual factors, such as region/neighborhood, school, peers, parents’ and children’s discrimination experiences, and parents’ work place while examining ethnic-racial socialization (Branch & Newcombe, 1986; Hughes & Chen, 1997; Hughes et al., 2006). Girls are taught more about cultural beliefs and values with an assumption that they would carry them forward to next generations, whereas boys are prepared more to deal with discriminatory and biased experiences (Hughes et al., 2008). There are a very few studies on how mothers and fathers socialize their children similarly or differently (Baker-Sperry, 2001). Mothers are considered as ‘cultural vessels’, but the role of father is not well known in transmitting culture and religion except in a few studies (Baker-Sperry; Kallivayalilm 2004; King, 2003; Wolfinger & Wilcox, 2008). The present study included perspectives of mothers and fathers to address the understudied question—what role immigrant fathers play in the socialization of their children and how is it different than that of mothers? In the coming sections, I will present and analyze the studies on father involvement and immigrant father involvement. 28 Besides the gender of parents, in immigrant families additional factors such as immigration status, country of origin, generational status, pre-immigration history, reception by host society, length of stay in the United States, phenotypic characteristics, economic means to visit home country, pressure to assimilate, connections with home country, extended families living in same country , and social capital may contribute to variability in socialization practices of these parents (Berry, 1993; Berry & Sam, 1997; Phinney, 2001). One may expect that the ethnic-racial identity of parents will affect ethnic-racial socialization; however, no study has examined the relationship between parents’ identity and their ethnic-socialization practices (Hughes et al., 2006). The contextual stresses and support can affect individual characteristics of parents and children and therefore, interactions between parents and children (Belsky, 1984). Sometimes the contexts of ethnic-racial socialization such as school, peers, and community compete with familial socialization (Rivas-Drake et al., 2009). This is true for those minority children (e.g., African American) who attend predominantly white schools. Research shows that children of immigrant parents, especially second-generation children, often learn the norms of their host country from their peers and media, which may lead to dissonance with family socialization (Suarez-Orozco, Todorova, & Qin, 2006). Most research on ethnic-racial socialization practices has been done with African Americans, Latinos, and Asian sub-groups (particularly with Chinese, Koreans, and Vietnamese) (Bernal et al., 1990; Kim & Chao, 2009; Sellers et al., 1998; Spencer, 1985). To the best of my knowledge, very few studies have been undertaken on parent socialization practices of immigrant parents from the Indian subcontinent (Inman et al., 2007), particularly with Sikh immigrants (Gibson, 1989; Verma, 2004). In the next sub-section, I will analyze the literature on father involvement in domestic and immigrant families. 29 2.3.2. Father Involvement/Socialization The role of the father in the United States in their children’s development has been changed over time, starting from a role of moral teacher (Puritan times through the colonial period) to that of breadwinner during the industrial development times. During the Great Depression period, the fathers’ role shifted to sex-role model for their sons. After 1979s popular TV drama Kramer vs. Kramer, the fathers’ role was seen as that of a new nurturing father (Pleck, 1997). Bornstein and colleagues (1997) described that historically fathers’ roles were seen as that of economic support to the family and discipline and control of older children. However, the new nurturing fathers play more important roles in their children’s lives. More women have moved into the work force and the role of men has changed as husbands and fathers due to this shift in the society. This change is also apparent in developing countries because more women are joining the work force (Singh, 2005). Contemporary fathers provide emotional support to mothers and help them in child related work. Mothers and fathers engage in different ways with their children. For example, fathers play more with their children and mothers take on roles of caretaking and nurturance (Lamb). Fathers also interact one-on-one with their children in various roles such as caretaking, teaching, and playing (Lamb, 1997). Therefore, contemporary fathers play roles of companions, care providers, spouses, protectors, models, moral guides, teachers, and breadwinners in their families. Parke and Buriel (1998) noted the important role of fathers in connecting their children to contexts other than their families. However, the role of fathers varies from family to family. Several child and paternal sociodemographic factors affect fathers’ involvement with their children. Fathers’ engagement and accessibility decrease with older children (Pleck, 1997). They are more involved with their sons than their daughters—this differential increases with the 30 age of children (Pleck). Fathers also tend to differentiate more than mothers between their sons and daughters (Hugh & Romney, 1991). Other child-related factors that determine father involvement include birth order, birth of premature infants, and children with difficult temperaments. Higher education and income of fathers are related with more positive engagement (Ahmeduzzaman & Roopnarine, 1992; Blair et al., 1994). However, various studies present inconsistent findings on paternal sociodemographic factors and fathers’ involvement. Other factors include occupational prestige, work hours, motivation, skills and self-confidence, paternal identity, motivation, social supports and stress, and beliefs. The studies are also inconsistent in ethnic differences in father involvement; however, some studies suggest that Black fathers are more involved than White fathers with their children (Marsiglio, 1991; McAdoo, 1988; Roopnarnine et al., 2005). The role of African American fathers has been discussed as that of a provider and a decision maker related to child rearing (McAdoo). The quality of father involvement is more important than quantity of time spent with children (Parke, 1996). Father involvement leads to positive social, cognitive, and emotional outcomes for young children (Lamb, 1997). Studies on adolescent outcomes due to father involvement have started to emerge recently. Pleck (1997) found that positive engagement of fathers with their 5-18 years old children decreases their frequency of externalizing and internalizing symptoms. Father involvement in native as well as in immigrant families prevents youth from getting involved in risky behaviors (Bronte-Tinkew, Moore, Capps, & Zaff, 2004). Father involvement also leads to better school adjustment, social integration, and better future well-being for children (Amato & Booth, 1997). The literature on immigrant father involvement and outcomes of children is scant. There are some studies on Mexican father involvement— traditionally they are considered to be less involved in child rearing. However, they serve as a 31 role model for their sons to develop machismo and they are more involved in fathering roles in form of eating meals with family members and spending weekends with the family (Parke et al., 2004). Immigrant fathers have a frame of reference from their own fathers on “how to parent,” although those ideas on fathering change in a new context (Bornstein & Cote, 2006). One form of father involvement in minority families is socialization of children towards their culture, race, and ethnicity. The father socialization literature is scant except for a few studies with African American fathers (McHale et al., 2006). According to the study by McHale and colleagues, fathers played an important role in socializing their sons, and fathers’ socialization was negatively related to youth depression symptoms. Immigrant fathers, especially those who come from patriarchal male-dominated societies, where they learn to become more involved in the socialization of their children due to acculturation in the United States (Jain & Belsky, 1997; Patel, Power & Bhavnagri, 1996). Marc Bornstein and Linda Cote (2006) argued that parental cognition (i.e., beliefs, attitudes, goals, and knowledge) changes over time and in different contexts. Parental cognition helps us understand parenting practices and cultural messages that immigrant parents use in socializing their children. More studies need to be done in the area of father involvement and socialization in immigrant minority families. To this date no study has been undertaken to understand the role of Sikh fathers in their children’s socialization towards ethno-religious identity formation in their youth. It is important to conduct more studies in this area because Sikh fathers and sons both wear turbans as a part of their outward markers, so fathers can play an important role in religious transmission (Baker-Sperry, 2001; King, 2003; Wolfinger & Wilcox, 2008). Moreover, all ten Gurus in Sikhism were males and are often idealized as fathers; Sikh fathers can serve as role models for their boys in teaching religious teachings of Sikh Gurus. Moreover, no work has been 32 undertaken to study how Asian Indian immigrant grandparents help their grandchildren in learning about their culture and religion. In the following section, I present an analytical review of studies conducted on grandparent involvement. 2.3.3. Grandparent Involvement/Socialization Grandparents play an important role in their adult children’s and grandchildren’s lives, which also helps them to stay well, hopeful, and future oriented (Bates; 2009; McCluskey & McCluskey, 2000; Reitzes & Mutran, 2004). Grandparents provide an extra measure of security to their grandchildren; instill a sense of family history, continuity, and purpose by sharing stories of ancestors and historical events with their grandchildren, therefore, preserving ethnic heritage in case of minority and immigrant families (McCluskey & McCluskey). They also serve as mentors for grandchildren, establish enduring relationships, involve in education, play with infant and toddler grandchildren, teach responsibility to older grandchildren, and often serve as a positive role model for them. The grandparents also help their adult children by providing respite from children; offering parenting hints, helping out economically, and bonding with their adult children through grandchildren (also see Barnett, Barnett, Scaramella, Neppl, Ontai, & Conger, 2010). In the study conducted by McCluskey & McCluskey (2000), grandparents noted that by getting involved with their children, they stay young, find meaning in their lives, and are more future oriented and hopeful. However, the level of grandparent involvement varies from family to family. Close geographical proximity (Michalski & Schakleford, 2005; Tam & Detzner, 1998), availability and health of grandparents (McCluskey & McCluskey, 2000), employment (Pearson, Hunter, Ensminger & Kellam, 1990), and race and ethnicity (Fuller-Thompson et al., 1997; Tam & Detzner, 1998) are some of the factors that determine the involvement of grandparents in the 33 lives of their grandchildren. Grandparents also play an important role in the transmission of culture and religion to their grandchildren (Bengton, Copen, Putney, & Silverstein, 2009; Schmidt & Padilla, 1983). Grandparents play a crucial role in collectivist societies and cultures, where they share co-parenting roles in their grandchildren’s lives (Fuller-Thomson et al., 1997; Kamo & Zhou, 1994). African American grandparents play an important role in their grandchildren’s lives due to absence of one or the other parent many times (Fuller-Thomson). In African American families, grandparents, besides providing support care and nurturance, serve as disciplinarians for their grandchildren (Pearson et al., 1990). In Hispanic families, more than one-third of caregiving is done by grandparents (Minkler, 1999). In Asian families, grandparents are most likely to live with their grandchildren in the households run by their adult children (Kamo & Zhou, 1994). However, precautions should be taken while generalizing these trends in Asian cultures because the influence of westernization and urbanization is bringing structural and cultural changes in childcare arrangements, family networks, and child rearing beliefs. Tam and Detzner (1998) found that Asian American grandparents offered assistance to parents in form of child care, more specifically serving as substitute child care during parents’ work hours. The grandparents in the study also traveled to visit parents in need, shared their childrearing knowledge, and also helped in developing ethnic identity in their grandchildren by teaching them language and culture. Inman and colleagues (2007) reported that the Indian parents in their study articulated “limited familial and communal guidance and modeling” as one of the challenges in teaching their children about their culture. However, due to the acculturation of parents, parenting values change, as a result of which some aspects of grandparent involvement are not viewed positively in Asian American families (Tam & Detzner). 34 The studies conducted with immigrant grandparents are scant and those fewer are present contrary findings. There are no studies conducted with Asian Indian immigrant grandparents. In the present study grandparents played an important role in teaching their children about religion and cultural values. The grandparents were very religious and had a significant contribution in establishing the Gurdwara (Sikh temple) in the area. King and Elder (1999) in their study noted that religious grandparents have better relationships with their grandchildren than their nonreligious counterparts and grandparents help transmit cultural and religious values to their grandchildren. It is important to note the role of grandparents in fostering ethno-religious identity formation in their grandchildren. Moreover, work needs to be done in the area of ethno-religious identity formation of adolescents in any domestic or immigrant minority group. The current research was undertaken with an intention to fill these gaps in the parent socialization literature and ethno-religious identity formation of Sikh immigrants. The next section will analyze the research on ethnic identity formation in adolescents. 2.3.4. Ethnic-Racial Identity Identity formation is a dynamic and multidimensional construct that develops over time through the interaction of social processes within contexts (Phinney & Ong, 2007; Sellers et al., 1998; Spencer, 1985). Ethnic identity develops through exploration and commitment, which derives from a sense of personhood within an ethnic group, culture, and settings people live in (Phinney and Ong, p. 1). It is also defined as belonging in terms of behaviors, beliefs, values, and customs that a group follows. Research on identity formation is available for individual identity (Erikson, 1968; Marcia, Waterman, Matteson, Archer, & Orlofsky, 1993) as well as for group identity (Phinney, 1990). 35 The elements of group ethnic identity, as described by Phinney and Ong (2007) are: selfcategorization and labeling, commitment, and attachment (i.e., sense of belonging), exploration (seeking relevant information and experiences), ethnic behaviors, evaluation of group attitudes, values and beliefs, importance and salience of their ethnicity by majority group (s), and the relationship between ethnic and national identity (p. 2). In the last few decades, scholars emphasized the difference between race and ethnicity, which were often used interchangeably (Hughes et al., 2006). Race is a broader term, which is based on phenotypic characteristics, such as color and hair texture, whereas ethnicity is included within race but has more specific characteristics that are learned through socialization, like beliefs, values, and behaviors. I will use the terms ethnic-racial identity and ethnic-racial socialization to maintain consistency. There are three components of ethnic-racial identity: Centrality, which pertains to the extent to which an individual identifies with his/her group; Private regard, which is a feeling about one’s own ethnic group; and Public regard, which means what an individual thinks about other people’s perception of his/her ethnic group (Rivas-Drake, Hughes, & Way, 2009; Sellers, Rowley, & Chavous, 1997). Dissonance between private and public regard often leads to conflicting or diffused identities (Spencer, 1985). Suarez-Orozco (2000) in her work described the phenomenon of “negative social mirroring”, that is, when the outer world around a child reflects opinion in a negative way, it is difficult for that child to maintain a positive sense of worth for very long. In the presence of much cultural dissonance and negative social mirroring, it becomes difficult for children to develop “a flexible sense of worth” (p. 204). In this section, I will examine the literature on the development of ethnic-racial identity at various developmental stages. It is expected that Sikh children achieve ethno-religious identity at a relatively early age due to the presence of external identity markers. Erikson (1968) defined 36 adolescence as a stage of identity versus role confusion, which is dependent on the experiences of children since young age. Research on identity formation for minorities shows that, although ethnic-racial identity is formed during adolescence, the precursors, like ethnic self-identification, awareness, preference, and self-concepts, start taking place at a much earlier age (Bernal et al., 1990; Corenblum, Annis, & Tanaka, 1997; Spencer and Markstrom-Adams, 1990). To understand ethnic identity formation in young children, Bernal and colleagues (1990) took three broad theories of development into account: cognitive developmental theory (Flavell, 1985), social learning theory (Bandura, 1986), and self-system theory (Harter, 1983). Children acquire group-specific behaviors through social learning experiences provided by families and communities, and through interaction with the dominant society (Bernal et al., 1990). Children become aware of their race and ethnicity before they start identifying them with their ethnic group; once they are able to identify themselves with their racial or ethnic group, constancy takes place, where children are aware that their race and ethnicity can’t be changed (Ocampo, Bernal, & Knight, 1993). Ethnic constancy is achieved during later years than racial constancy. Different researchers found different ages to achieve awareness, self-identification, and constancy, as cited by Ocampo and colleagues (1993): Racial awareness can be achieved at 4 to 5 years of age (Clark & Clark, 1947), whereas children start to achieve ethnic awareness between 5 to 10 years of age (Aboud & Mitchell, 1977; Vaughn, 1987). Children begin to identify with their racial and ethnic group between 3 to 7 years and 7 to 10 years of age, respectively (Vaughn, 1987). That their race and ethnicity are constant and can’t be changed is known to them by 8-11 years of age (Aboud, 1984; Bernal et al., 1990). Knight and colleagues (1993) also elaborated the components of ethnic identity beyond self-identification and constancy. They added ethnic role behaviors, ethnic knowledge, and ethnic preferences that are 37 attained during adolescence. Ethnic role behaviors pertain to engagement in various behaviors that evidence cultural values, styles, and language; ethnic knowledge is awareness of language, traditions, and traits of one’s own ethnic group; and ethnic preferences pertain to feelings about membership and preferences for ethnic members, behaviors, and values (Knight et al., 1993). In his latest work, McKown (2004) argued that children from age 2.5 years and beyond become aware of their race and hold racial attitudes and beliefs. Phinney (1989) presented a three-stage model of ethnic-racial identity development in adolescents: 1) Unexamined ethnic identity, which means lack of exploration of ethnicity; this has further two subtypes: first is diffusion, which pertains to the lack of interest in one’s own ethnicity, second is foreclosure, which pertains to the views about ethnicity influenced by others’ views (i.e. parents and peers); 2) Ethnic identity search (Moratorium), which means exploration and search for meaning about ethnicity; and 3) Achieved ethnic identity, where the individual has confidence in her/his own identity. Marcia (1966), whose work was built up on Erikson’s work, described four status of identity at which an adolescent may be, not necessarily in any sequence; these status in identity development are based on choice and commitments that one makes in her personal and social traits. The status are: 1) Identity diffusion, which means that an individual does not have any sense of any choices; 2) Identity foreclosure, when an individual seems willing to commit to some goals, roles, and values, but hasn’t explored a range of options yet; 3) Identity crisis, a status where an individual is in crisis, exploring various choices, but hasn’t made any commitments yet; and 4) Identity achievement, a status when the individual has gone through identity crisis and has made a commitment. The ethnic-racial identity of young children is important in understanding the varied psychosocial and educational outcomes of children. Research shows that immigrant and the U.S. 38 born children of immigrants with strong positive ethnic identities and loyalties: 1) adapt better in the United States (Phinney, Horenczyk, Liebkind & Vedder, 2001); 2) show more positive psychological outcomes (DuBois et al., 2002; Kim & Chao, 2009;Phinney et al., 2001; Seaton, 2009); 3) demonstrate higher self-esteem (Lee, 2005; Phinney & Derich Navarro, 1997); 4) show better adjustment in school and higher school achievement than their counterparts (Olneck, 1995; Phinney et al., 2001; Supple, Ghazarian, & Frabutt, 2006; Zhou & Bankston, 1998); 5) demonstrate higher resilience in the face of racial and ethnic prejudices, which further prevents the mental health problems like depression, anxiety, and other psychosocial problems (Aboud, 1988; Lee, 2005); and 6) show more positive attitudes toward out-group children and adults and are more open to cross-ethnic friendships (Phinney, Ferguson, & Tate, 1997). In the next section, I will present literature review on the effects of discrimination on child outcomes. 2.3.5. Discrimination and Child Outcomes Racism includes beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors against a particular racial or ethnic group, commonly known as stereotypes, prejudices, and discrimination (Slaughter, Johnson, & Spencer, 2009). The recognition of prejudices and biased behaviors by adolescents can complicate psychological and educational development (Jones & Galliher, 2007). In the United States, racism is perceived as institutionalized and socially controlled, which provokes African Americans and other minorities to socialize their children in order to prepare them for the existing discrimination (Slaughter et al., 2009). Lutz and Sternberg (1999) suggested that with the advent of Piaget’s formal operational thinking (12 years and above), minority children become aware of social, economic, and racial disparities. However, other researchers have found that African American, Latino, and Asian children can understand discrimination and racial prejudices as early as 5 or 6 years of age and 39 can express strategies to cope with these situations (Johnson, 1994). Children start to learn about racism after they develop social perspective taking abilities (McKown, 2004). Children recognize cognitive, affective, and behavioral components of racism—they can be perceivers or targets of racism. African American children reflect more overt power relationships and welltextured knowledge of racism than their peers and are able to elaborate and differentiate discrimination (McKown, 2004). Kohlberg’s concept of social cues, known as self-concept theory, explains what a child thinks about her is affected by what other people in her environment think about her, known as “social mirroring”. Children and youth are prone to adverse effects of racism in their psychological and emotional lives (Johnson, 2005). Awareness of racism affects how young children encode social situations. Discrimination is negatively related to the public regard of one’s particular ethnic group and thus creates dissonance between private and public regard (Rivas-Drake et al., 2009). Adolescents’ perception of racism and discrimination is associated with a decrease in self-esteem and an increase in depressive symptoms (Qin, Way, & Mukherjee, 2008; Rivas-Drake, Hughes, & Way, 2008; Seaton, 2009; Seller & Shelton, 2003). Encounters with discrimination also stimulate ethnic-racial identity and moderate the relationship between identity development and adjustment in adolescents (Quintana, 2007; Sellers & Shelton). Identity negotiation is also an important response to the threat of discrimination, which can take two basic forms: identity enhancement and identity negation (Chatman, Eccles, & Malanchuk, 2005). Higher levels of discrimination for minority adults predict higher cultural socialization and ethnic identity formation (Rivas-Drake et al., 2009). Perceived discrimination plays an important role for immigrants in guiding the choices of how to acculturate and in 40 limiting successful psychological and sociocultural adaptation (Berry et al., 2006). In the next section, I will discuss parent socialization and role of religion in Sikh families. 2.4. Sikhs: Parent Socialization and Role of Religion in Sikh Families In the last two decades research has been undertaken in understanding role of religion in identity development and in positive youth development. Since the current study was undertaken to explore parent socialization practices of Sikh immigrant parents toward ethno-religious identity formation in their children, it is important to discuss and understand beforehand how religion is an important part of social identity. In the next sections, I present the role of religion in identity formation and positive youth development. 2.4.1. Religion and Identity Formation Koenig and colleagues (2001) laid out clear distinctions between the two constructs— religion and spirituality, often times used interchangeably (King & Roeser, 2009): Religion is more community focused, observable, formal, orthodox, organized, behavior oriented and outward practices; whereas, spirituality is more individualistic, less visible, less formal, less orthodox and inward directed. A person can be both religious and spiritual at the same time, or chose one or the other, or none of these. Religion and spirituality have been used recently in counseling and nursing to provide psychosomatic treatments to patients (Chiu, Emlen, Hofwegen, Sawatzky, Meyerhoff, 2004). Religion and spirituality provide youth with different sources of hope, ideals, moral beliefs, behavioral norms, worldviews, and role models through the collective nature of religion and influence the course of identity development during adolescence (Roeser et al., 2008; Smith & Denton, 2005). The communities where adolescents grow are structured within cultural, 41 historical and religious traditions, which help youth to have a sense of social belonging, find meaning and purpose in their life, boost self-esteem and understanding, hence help in shaping youth’s identities (Ashmore, Deaux, & McLaughlin-Volbe, 2004; Ho & Ho, 2007). Youth develop their persona (ego) within the norms of their social and cultural environment (ethos); hence religion shapes identity (Erikson, 1968). Oser and colleagues (2006) argued that religious concepts follow the Piagetian stages of representational development—children learn more concrete and single domain first and adolescents learn more abstract and multidimensional representations of religion (also see Bloom, 2007). When using religion in identity development, variables such as “religious affiliation” should be used cautiously because the construction of religiosity is based on youth’s self-rated importance of religion and religious attendance (Roehlkepartain, King, Wagener, & Benson, 2006). Youth may attend congregations due to parental pressures and cultural gatherings rather than for religious reasons (Benson et al., 2003). Sometimes youth present intellectual skepticism and disbelief in religion and attend churches for various other purposes (Roehlkepartain et al.). In the case of immigrants and cultural minorities, religion also enhances the racial and ethnic identity of youth. In the next section, I present the concept of ethno-religious identity and its formation in minority and immigrant youth. 2.4.2. Ethno-religious Identity Religion is a powerful force in shaping identities and an important identity marker for immigrants. It is also a neglected variable in the ethnic identity literature (Warner, 2000; Williams, 2007). Religion is one of the important descriptive attributes along with race, ethnicity, gender, and social class to consider while studying social identity (Chatman et al., 2005). Immigrants tend to become more religious after immigration to form and preserve their personal and group identities—though religion is not the only marker (Yang & Ebaugh, 2001a; 42 2001b). Often times it is difficult to differentiate between religion and ethnicity for some new immigrant groups, where their day-to-day life is influenced by their religion. For such immigrant groups, Sikhs among them, one might expect that adults would socialize children about their religious practices and that religion would integrate into children’s ethnic identities. Researchers often examine both variables together to investigate identities, using the construct ethno-religious identity (Greeley, 1971; Stout, 1975). It is often complex to understand variation among immigrants in how much they integrate their ethnic and religious identities and how much emphasis they place on one or both; some immigrants emphasize their religious identity more than their ethnic core, whereas others use the religious core to preserve their ethnic identities (Yang & Ebaugh).Warner (1993) provided two typologies; one, where ethnicity equals religion (i.e. ethnic fusion), such cases are those of Jews and Amish (cited in Yang & Ebaugh, 2001a; see also Verkuyten, 2007); the second pattern is where religion is one of the many foundations of ethnicity, called ethnic religion (Yang & Ebaugh; p.369). The Sikh group was formed with the formation of religion (Takaki, 1989). Religion strengthens or transcends ethnic boundaries (Williams, 2007). Some ethnic groups highly or completely identify with their religion rather than with their national identity (e.g., Muslims identification with Islam in a study by Verkuyten was highly related with endorsement of Islamic rights but had a low correlation with national identity). However, strong religious identity is related to low or no integration of such groups in the host countries (Verkuyten, 2007). Some research has shown that Sikhs are very prompt in adopting modern values, while maintaining their religious identities (Mann, 2006). Some researchers argue that when immigrants move from their country to a different country, religion helps in strengthening their ethnic identities –the uprooting and the resettlement 43 intensify the commitment to religion in minds of many new immigrants (Smith, 1978). However, ethno-religious differences tend to minimize after the first generation because the second generation immigrants are more acculturated, and have higher educational and economic levels than their earlier generations (Kabach & Richmond, 1990). Some researchers argue that this importance is cyclical—these identities become more important in third and fourth generations (Ting-Toomey, 1981). Religious and ethnic identities are reconstructed after immigration in new contexts. In the United States, immigrants identify at different levels with their religion due to the voluntary nature of religion. Immigrant groups stick to any religion not because that they want to socially isolate themselves, but they want to stay close to it in order to enculturate their children and to preserve the values, and also to be in a stronger position to interact with other social or religious groups (Williams, 2007). There is lack of research on ethno-religious identity formation among children of various religious groups in the United States and the socialization practices of their parents towards the construction of identity. In the next section, I present the analysis of the studies on the role of religion in positive youth development. 2.4.3. Religion and Positive Youth Development Religion is an important part of child and adolescent development (Brega & Coleman, 1999). For example, studies show that with regular attendance at religious services, alcohol and drug abuse decrease for many youth (Pullen et al., 1999; Regnerus, 2003). Youth who are spiritual tend to develop generosity, meaning and purpose in their lives, and altruism (Lerner et al., 2008). They also develop abilities that correspond to the five Cs noted by Lerner and colleagues (2007): Character, Competence, Confidence, Connection, and Caring. Religious and spiritual youth tend to engage and participate in civic activities (Lerner et al., 2007). In religious participation, youth are likely to develop internal assets such as positive identity, positive values, 44 and cultural competence. They are likely to enhance their external assets, such as support from families and communities, and use their time more constructively (Benson, 1997). Religious youth are also less likely to be involved in risky behaviors, are more likely to have quality family and adults relationships, use moral reasoning and behavior, participate in community, use media judiciously, and are emotionally well doing as compared to their non-religious counterparts (Smith & Denton, 2005). Youth find adult role models in their community congregations and develop community and leadership skills that are transposable beyond the context of their churches. They learn coping skills and develop cultural capital in their community that is also transposable to various other contexts. Religious participation also facilitates connections with extra community people by participation in various community and religious events (Smith & Denton). Many studies have found a positive association of religion with educational attainment (Bankston & Zhou, 1995; Jeynes, 2005; Regnerus, 2003). Contexts of religious forces are important to consider while studying positive influences of religion (i.e., family life, peers, school, and community). There are differences in the quality of practice of religion and behavioral consequences (Regnerus). Overall, the positive influences of religion on youth are better physical and emotional health, higher educational attainment, increased volunteerism and political involvement, and better family well-being. However, there are negative influences of religious and spiritual development that should not be ignored—depending on one’s attachment and affiliation, religion and spirituality may lead to ‘problematic social outcomes and developmental forms of psychopathology’ (King & Roeser, 2009; p.466). 45 Religion affiliations also play important roles in the life of immigrant and domestic minority youth (Abo-Zena et al., 2007; Jenson, 2008). For example, Black churches provide role models for young African American adolescents and also serve as a context of racial socialization and group identity (Wallace et al., 2003). Youniss and colleagues (1999) found that the youth who were involved in Church were psychologically healthier, more engaged in school, and more committed to the betterment of the communities. Similar findings were also reported by other researchers (Furrow, King, & White, 2004; Markstrom, 1999; Seul, 1999). Religion also holds therapeutic value for some emotional disorders (Lovinger, Miller, & Lovinger, 1999). In a study on Jews, many participants reported the feeling of alienation and marginalization for not seeking religion and showed more desire to increase religious practices and pass it on to their next generations (Friedman, Friedlander, & Blustein, 2005). In Vietnamese youth, Bankston and Zhou (1995) noted that religion played an important role in positive adaptation, avoidance of risky behavior, better educational engagement, and strong ethnic identity formation. In Malaysian Muslim youth, spiritual well-being predicted self-efficacy, selfesteem, and life satisfaction (Imam, Nurullah, Makol-Abdul, Rahman, & Noon, 2009). However, it should be noted that some religions become minority religion in the United States after immigration (Yang & Ebaugh, 2001a). In that case, often times there are competing influences for immigrant youth and a desire to “fit-in” can create conflicts in religious affiliations. Moreover, it is important to understand how other majority religions receive these minority religions (King & Roeser, 2009). For example, in the present environment of Islamophobia, many Muslim children struggle to integrate their religious and American identities (Sheridan, 2006). Through my several visits to the Gurdwara, I expected that Sikh religion played an important role in the lives of Sikh families and youth. On the other hand I was interested in 46 knowing the negotiation process of these parents and youth in dealing with mistaken identities with Muslims. Before addressing the role of religion in Sikh families, I present the chronicle of development of Sikhism since its inception. Sikhs’ ethno-religious identities are shaped by the history of their religion. 2.4.4. History of Sikhs and Ethno-religious Identities of Sikhs in India Sikhism was founded by Guru Nanak Dev, the first of the ten Sikh Gurus, in the early 1500s in the Punjab region of northern India (Mann, 2006; Takhar, 2005). The earlier followers of Guru Nanak were known as “Nanak panthis”, which means community of Sikhs who followed him (Takhar, 2005; p. 5). Guru Nanak emphasized values like personal purity, charity, hard work, service, and social and gender equality (Angelo, 1997; Mann, 2006). During this period, the Sikhs did not wear their external identity symbols; they followed the theological doctrines of meditation and reading their religious book, “Gurbani.” Sikh, in its literal meaning, is a student, who follows the teachings of his/her teacher or “Guru.” McLeod (2000, p. 28) suggested that the “first generation of Sikhs did not need to have external identities, whereas, when the second-generation was born to them, they were required to have external forms of identities”, so that they could be differentiated from Hindu children. Sikhism originated from Hinduism; the initial followers of the religion were determined to teach doctrine other than Hinduism; people volunteered to convert into Sikhs. Likewise, it was important for the generation of Sikhs to distinguish themselves from Muslims (Takhar, 2005). The fifth Guru, Arjan Singh provided the spiritual center for Sikhs to worship and distinguish them even more by providing them an authoritative scripture. The martyrdom of Guru Arjan Singh by Moguls was a turning point in Sikh identity. They started emphasizing more of the revolutionary nature of the religion portrayed by the sixth Sikh Guru, Hargobind Singh, who sat on the throne of his 47 father, fully armed. The tenth and the last Guru of Sikhs, Guru Gobind Singh, started the institution of Khalsa (community of pure ones—the Sikhs) in 1699. He made it compulsory for Sikhs to wear five outward symbols of identity, known as markers of the loyalty to Khalsa (Mann, 2006). These five symbols often known as 5 Ks are: Kes (unshorn hair), Kanga (comb), Kirpan (sword), Karha (steel bracelet), and Kachha (breeches worn by warriors). The Sikhs carry the latter three symbols to show readiness for dealing with injustice. It was the tenth Sikh guru who gave the visible identity to the community (Mann, 2006). During the late seventeenth and the early eighteenth centuries, Punjab, one of the northwest states of India, was a common gateway for Muslim invaders (Mcleod, 2000; Takaki, 1989). The outward identity of Sikhs was important to make them distinct from Muslims during this time period. Besides that, the formation of Khalsa (community of pure ones—the Sikhs) was in the wake of beheading of the ninth Sikh Guru, Guru Tegh Bahadur, under the reign of the Muslim Emperor, Aurangzeb (Takaki, 1989). At this time, many people were converted to Sikhs and joined the Khalsa. For about the next three decades, the tenth Guru trained his followers in bravery and courage and instilled in them the power to confront the Mogul authorities. The turban of the Sikhs became the hallmark of their identity. The enmity between the early Sikh community and the Mogul Emperors provided a useful background to understand why it was important for them to take over the identity of “martyrs” (p. 34). th After the execution of the 10 Guru by the Mogul Emperor, Bahadur Shah, in 1708, Banda Bahadur was nominated to lead the Sikh community, who was later executed along with many other Sikhs by the Muslims in 1716 (Murphy, 2007; Takaki, 1989). As a result, many Sikhs left the Khalsa and their outward identity symbols due to the fear of persecution by the Moguls. Eventually in the late eighteenth century, Maharaja Ranjit Singh, who later became the 48 ruler of Punjab, destroyed the Mogul power in the state. He was not very religious, but the Sikhs flourished during his rule. He contributed to the religion by allocating huge funds to cover the Harimandir Sahib, referred to as the Golden Temple, in Amritsar with gold. After the death of Maharaja Ranjit Singh, the Punjab was annexed to British India in 1849 (Tatla, 1999). During British rule, the Sikhs were recognized as “martial race” and were one of the favorites for recruitment into the army (Basra, 1996). The British officers supported the Khalsa identity of these warriors (Takaki, 1989). A large number of Sikh men were recruited by the British army to fight in World War I and as a result, many Sikhs started to migrate to the United Kingdom after the war. Due to their closeness with British officials, these people were exposed to English and modernism, while still keeping their religious identities (Mann, 2006). The British ruled India for more than a century leaving the country in 1947. India was then partitioned into two different nations: India and Pakistan. The Muslims migrated to Pakistan and Hindu refugees moved back within Indian states. The Sikhs were squashed in between these two religious groups, Hindu and Muslims, as the major fertile portion and 140 important shrines of Punjab, including one of their first gurus, Guru Nanak Dev’s went to Pakistan. After the partition Sikhs became the majority in Punjab as compared to their small proportion in the presence of the majority Muslims before the partition, where they could preserve their religion, culture, and identity (Angelo, 1997; Tatla, 1999). After independence, during the first general elections in 1952, apprehensive of the Congress’s intentions, Akali Dal, a Sikh political party originated in 1920, laid down its demand for Punjabi-speaking region and started the first movement of separatism in 1955; the State Reorganization Commission rejected the request. The second movement started in 1960-61, which was also a futile effort. After the Indo-Pak war ended in 1965, impressed by Sikhs’ 49 contribution in the war efforts, the government agreed to the demand of reorganizing Punjab. For the first time in the history, in 1966 Sikhs formed a full majority in Punjab as it was divided into two states: Sikhs remained in Punjab and Hindus moved to the Haryana state. The Operation Blue Star incidence was a major push factor responsible for the third wave of Sikh immigrants to the United States. Even though the Green Revolution had a positive impact on Punjab and the farmers became prosperous, Punjab faced many challenges as a state, such as unemployed youth, improper distribution of money, and the concentration of most industries in the New Delhi area. Akali Dal made the demands for a separate independent Punjab without any government interference. Mrs. Indira Gandhi, the Prime Minister at that time, used one of the Akali Dal leaders to win the elections in Punjab; that same leader misused his powers to promote terrorism and separatism in Punjab. To combat against any efforts in using violence by the separatists, the Prime Minster ordered the army to enter into the Golden temple where militants were hiding themselves. Not only did this combat kill the militants, but it killed many innocent pilgrims; the attacks, known as “Operation Blue Star” destroyed the shrine and the religious documents of Sikhs (Crossette, 2004; Gupta, 2007). The attack was seen as an act of sacrilege and contempt and a sign that the government of India was prepared to destroy the religiocultural heritage of Sikhs in India; it resulted into the assassination of Indira Gandhi by one of her Sikh bodyguards. The overall incident resulted in communal riots, a backlash against the Sikh community, and the killing of thousands of Sikhs in Punjab and New Delhi. The requests of Sikhs for justice remained unheard by the courts and the civic bodies. They became stateless in their own country, unable to claim their basic human and civil rights. Sikhs in Britain, Canada, and the United States condemned the brutality faced by their fellow Sikhs in 50 India. The overall result of the violence was that more and more Sikhs started to wear turbans and other outward symbols of identity (O’Connell, 2000). One important aspect that has been ignored in the literature is the experience of immigrants in their home country. The history of Sikhs as a group is well-documented in literature. However, it is important to consider an individual family’s pre-migration history. In the next section, I will discuss the literature available on the role that religion plays in Sikh families. 2.4.5. Role of Religion in Sikh Families Language, ethnicity, and religion are intertwined for Sikhs in a manner that makes them a unique ethno-religious group. In a study conducted in Britain, 46% of the Sikhs mentioned that religion played a “very important” part in their life (Modood et al., 1997). Their main religious book, Guru Granth Sahib, is written in Gurmukhi (Punjabi) script. Guru Granth Sahib contains many philosophical teachings that guide how a true Sikh should lead his or her life. Many Sikhs, especially men and boys, maintain external religious identity markers such as turban, small sword, and bracelet (Mann, 2006). Religion is also important at many stages of life for many Sikhs such as most ceremonies, like the naming of newly born children, marriages, and funerals take place at the religious temples of Sikhs, known as Gurdwaras (Mann, 2000). Gurdwaras also provide sociocultural services to immigrant Sikhs, serve as meeting place, psychic space for greeting friends, place for making business, social, and political contacts, for bringing Sikh playmates for children and friends, prospective spouses for youth, and social activities for women (O’Connell, 2000). Since the Gurdwara and the Guru Granth Sahib play an important role in the day-to-day living practices of the Sikhs, in such a case it can be expected that the religious and ethnic identities of 51 Sikhs are intertwined. However, about a decade ago, the Gurdwaras were not committed to teach young children about religion due to lack of assigned volunteers on regular basis (O’Connell). Further research needs to be done in order to find out the current involvement of Gurdwaras in socializing Sikh children for their religion. The Sikh beliefs are products of their preaching, sacred writings in Guru Granth Sahib, and their practice. The common Sikh beliefs as stated by Guru Nanak Mission (2008, p.1-2) are: 1) One God, who is eternal, omnipotent, omnipresent, is incarnate, is not born and does not die, is self-illuminated and is without shape or form; 2) Equality, of race, color, caste, gender, and nationality; 3) Kirat (Work), earning a living by honest means; 4) Wand Chakhna (Sharing), with poor and needy; 5) Sewa (Service), to humanity regardless of religious and political affiliations; 6) Non-Violence, peace-loving, yet be able to stand firm for truth and justice; 7) Simran (Meditation), remembering God, repeating “Satnaam Waheguru (God is truth); 8) Tolerance of Other Faiths, its followers do not believe in forced conversions; 9) Wellness of Entire Human Race, in daily prayer, wish for the wellbeing of humanity—“Nanak naam charhdi kalaa tere bhaane sarbat da bhalaa (O God! Endow us with ever rising spirit, and provide for the wellness of the entire human race)”; and 10) Self-Discipline, Sikhs are expected to be able to control lust (Kaam), anger (Krodh), greed (Lobh), materialistic attachment (Moh), and ego (Hankar). One should not expect homogeneity among the followers of Sikhism in the United States—there is diversity within Sikhs in terms of practicing their religion and maintaining the external religious identity markers. There are Amritdharis, who keep their external identity markers, such as turban and follow the code of Khalsa and the rituals of Sikhism very religiously; others are Keshdharis, who keep their turban but may not follow the code of Khalsa; and, the third category is of people who cut their hair but may follow the rituals of Sikhism 52 (Mann, 2000). Some Sikhs conduct prayers at personal and domestic levels within their social networks, also known as Shakashi and others do so at communal level, also known as Panthaks (Mann, 2000). Therefore, one should expect the differences in their ethno-religious identities and therefore, in their parent-socialization practices. Some Sikhs, due to lack of time in their routine and due to their focus on the pragmatic part of religion (i.e., focusing on teachings than rituals of religion), practice personal piety that pertains to the belief that God is watching them in everything they do. Others organize rituals at home with their adult children and youth as officials and young children as congregation (O’Connell, 2000; Mann, 2000). Often times, elderly living with their adult children and grandchildren in Sikh families socialize their grandchildren about Sikhism (O’Connell). About a decade ago, Canadian government funded religious schools for Sikhs in British Columbia that teaches religion, language, and cultural values. However, some opponents of separate religious school believe that children going to these schools are not exposed to other racial groups in host society and become dysfunctional in the outer contexts (O’Connell). 2.4.6. Discrimination against Sikhs in the United States Sikhs, like other immigrant groups and domestic minorities, faced prejudices and discriminatory practices in the United States. The way the host society receives the immigrants is one of the many crucial factors in their success in their new homeland as well as in the formation of their identities (Stepick, Grenier, Castro, & Dunn, 2003). The initial waves of Sikhs were perceived as “hard workers” in the California farms (Takaki, 1989). In the early 1900s, they were viewed as work competitors by the White workers. In 1907, a group of White laborers attacked an Asian Indian community in Bellingham, Washington and drove about 700 Sikhs to Canada. In the chronology of discrimination, the Sikhs were rounded up by the White laborers in Everett 53 and driven out of the town (Takaki, 1989). The U.S. government was unable to stop these acts of discrimination; rather, Indians along with other Asians were denied the immigration by the officials (Takaki, 1989). The 1923 U.S. vs. Bhagat Singh Thind case ruled that Asian Indians were not eligible for naturalization. Despite the racial and legal challenges, Sikhs kept on working hard and moved successfully into the United States society and established their roots, made homes and established their communities (Mann, 2006). The Sikhs are among immigrant groups who consider themselves American and show their patriotism through various ways. They bought and leased agricultural lands and joined the U.S. army, continuing the honorable tradition of fighting for their country (Mann, 2006). But there has always been a friction between local norms and their outward identity symbols during their century-long stay in the United States. For example, Sikhs who worked as caterers in the hotel industry were not allowed to wear their bracelets (Mann, 2006). The turban and the hair have become hallmark for the discrimination against Sikh men and youth, as well as biases against young children. To the best of my knowledge, very few research studies have been undertaken to assess the effect of discrimination against the Sikh children and adolescents (Gibson, 1989; Verma, 2004). There are several instances when Sikhs faced discrimination on the basis of their religious dress or outward identity symbols. It includes biases against them in jobs (Kalsi Vs. MTA, 1995), refusal to be selected in the army (Jensen, 1988), and restriction on ritual swords in schools (Cheema v. Thompson, 1993). After 9/11 attacks, the turban has also become an integral component of racial profiling within surveillance technologies of counterterrorism (Puar & Rai, 2004). The September 11, 2001 attacks created a backlash against Sikhs in the United States. As discussed in the beginning of this section that Sikhs faced prejudices and discrimination in the United States, it is important to consider discrimination while exploring 54 parent socialization practices of Sikh parents and ethno-religious identity formation among Sikh children. In the sections follow, I will discuss how discrimination shapes identity formation in general and what has been the discriminatory experience of the Sikh community in the United States. 2.4.7. Parent Socialization and Identity Formation in Sikh Immigrants Sikhs are a unique group of immigrants whose ethnic and religious identities are so intertwined that there is a need to study their ethno-religious identity in understanding its outcome in youth. The formation and transformation of the Sikh identity, since the inception of Sikhism, has been seen as a result of the interaction of various processes within their historical contexts of the sending country (i.e., India) and contemporary contexts of the receiving country (i.e., the U.S.). Discrimination against the Sikhs in the United States is as old as their immigration. Sikhs, in general, have been described as very vibrant and cutting edge community who make home wherever they land (Mann, 2006). They are very upfront in accepting modern values yet maintaining their religious identities. This condition of switching between different identities in different contexts may fit into the “situational identity” concept as described by Kiang and colleagues (2007). In one context, Sikhs can be ethno-religious, whereas in the other they can be more American. One can be equally a Sikh and an American. Sikhs who wear outward identity symbols may become prone to discrimination. Sikh children, especially boys who wear a small form of the turban (known as Parna or Patka) and bracelet may also become targets of discrimination and prejudice in schools. The effects of discrimination on Sikh children and adolescents have not been well documented (Verma, 2004). However, the literature that is available on adult Sikhs shows that this ethno-religious group has been very resilient and has overcome many forms of prejudice and discrimination in the United 55 States (Mann, 2006). This could be attributed to the “immigrant optimism” that immigrants bring with them (Ogbu, 1988). Unlike domestic minorities in the United States who came as or became “involuntary migrants (e.g., African Americans and Native Americans),” Sikhs, with few exceptions, came as “voluntary migrants” in search of opportunities. But whether their children deal with the discrimination in the same way is a question yet to be answered. I expected that these children raised and brought up in the United States would encounter similar experiences of trauma, distress, and internalization like children of other ethnic minorities do and discrimination would affect their identities in a similar way. However, parents who raise them might have different ways of socializing their children. Sikh parents who have strong ethno-religious identities may socialize their children towards building strong ethno-religious identities in them. However, immigration complicates the ethnic-racial socialization as it adds stress on the family dynamics and often disrupts the parent-child relationships (Qin, 2006; Sluzki, 1979). Children who are growing up in the United States with their peers are likely to be more acculturated than their parents. This gap may erode parental authority and increase parent-child conflicts in immigrant families (Costigan & Dokis, 2006; Qin, 2006, 2008). Therefore, the socialization of Sikh children can be more complicated because of dissonance between Sikh values and children’s exposure to the U.S. society (La Brack, 1988). These issues arise as a consequence of the day-to-day cultural adjustments and adaptations of second and later generations of Sikh children in the United States. The process of identity formation in Sikh adolescents may be different than domestic minority adolescents, as attaining autonomy during adolescence is not encouraged among immigrants who come from collectivist societies like India. However, I expected that with strong ethno-religious identities, these children would have better psychosocial and academic outcomes, 56 positive out-group attitudes, and good relation with their peers. Their pride in their group belonging would foster resilience to deal with day-to-day discrimination and prejudices. Like other minority groups, there are several factors that might predict parent socialization practices of Sikhs—such as ethno-religious identity of parents, language spoken, socioeconomic status, the history of Sikhism, and gender of the parents. The factors that might predict the identity formation in children (adolescence) and the perception of socialization messages are—age, gender, and generation of children, language spoken at home, level of cognitive development, and extra familial socializing agents, such as peers and schools. Besides this, other factors that might affect the whole process and both parents and children are: day-today discriminatory experiences, backlash or violence against group at nodal points (1984backlash and 9/11 attack), degree of acculturation and enculturation in the families, and religion. There is a need to do more research with various ethnic groups due to the increase in immigrant population. This study will contribute to the literature for a very unique ethnoreligious group, i.e., Sikhs. There are lots of studies done about adult Sikhs, focusing on their migration pattern, history of Sikhism, and Sikh identity in adults (Mann, 2006; Takaki, 1989). However, no research so far has been done to examine parent-child relationships and racialethnic socialization with these dyads. Fewer studies have yet een conducted to examine the relationship between parents’ ethnic identity and their ethnic-racial socialization practices (Hughes et al., 2006). The current study was undertaken to fill in the gaps. 57 CHAPTER 3 METHODS The present study explored a fairly understudied population and topic; therefore, in-depth ethnographic methods were appropriate for understanding the processes, phenomenon, and contexts in the study. This culturally appropriate methodology helped me describe, elaborate, and clarify the experiences of the Sikh families in the study by becoming “one of them.” It was important to immerse myself in this community to understand their ethno-religious practices that would lead to better quality and better interpretation of the data collected. Ethnography provides effective tools to generate explanations of how people think, believe, and behave when they are situated in local time and space (LeCompte & Schensul, 1999; p. 8). The tools of ethnography are designed for discovery and exploration—the technique helped me explore and interpret the actions of participants in the study through observations and direct involvement in the Gurdwara activities. I learned about Sikh immigrant parents’ socialization practices through systematic observation in the field by interviewing and recording what I saw and heard in the field. I also learned the meanings of their actions and behaviors. Participant observation, interviewing, and focus groups were conducted in this ethnography study. Initially, based on the information procured from the University Libraries, I contacted the largest of the eight Sikh congregations in the State, which is located in the Derby area (pseudonym). The organization committee head of the congregation estimated that there were 4500 members attending the five Gurdwaras in the Derby area in the year 2008 (Sikh congregation is held in a temple, known as Gurdwara, which means ‘Guru’s home). The other three congregations are located in the Central and the Western parts of the state. 58 Due to the convenience of location and an objective of in-depth study, I selected the congregation located in the Central part of the state. The site selection was based on two criteria: The first criterion was selecting participants from the same geographical location, as immigrants assimilate within a geographical area that they live in. The same immigrant group living in two different cities could have been very different in terms of their education level, professions, identity formation, and to the extent that they practice their cultural rituals. To conduct the indepth study, it was important to consider a single geographical location. The second criterion was influenced by the availability of resources I had to conduct the research. There are pros and cons of purposive sampling of one site over more than one site. With one site, I had more chances of collecting rich data by conducting an in-depth study. By focusing on one site, I was able to immerse myself into the community in more depth and understand my participants’ personal experiences. With more than one site, I could have a wider range of responses. The Sikhs of Riverton are different than Sikhs in the Derby area. Since there is a bigger population of Sikhs in the Derby area, they are more visible. Moreover, based on the information procured from the congregations, there is more diversity in terms of class, education, and professions among the attendees of Derby congregations. The Sikhs who attend the Riverton congregation are mostly the members business class, who run family businesses. However, choosing one site for the proposed study was appropriate given my intentions to be closely and deeply engaged in one community and more economical in terms of resource and time investment. I immersed myself in the study as an active participant by visiting a Sikh congregation (the Gurdwara Sahib) in the Riverton area. I attended the Sunday services, community lunch (known as langar), Sikh festivals, and community events. A detailed description of the 59 Gurdwara, the study participants, and the community is provided in the results chapter. The methods chapter is organized into the following sections: 1) Obtaining Access to the Community, 2) Recruitment, Sample Selection, Consent Process, and Participants 3) Reflexivity, 4) Data Collection Procedures, 5) Data Analytic Approach, 6) Retention of Participants and Leaving the Site (Rodriguez, Rodriguez, & Davis, 2006), 7) Trustworthiness of Data, and 8) Limitations of Methods. Please note that throughout methods and results sections, I have used pseudonyms. 3.1. Obtaining Access to the Community 3.1.1. Initial Visits I started making my initial visits to the Riverton Gurdwara in November 2010. I attended the services and always participated in the community langar following the services. In the beginning, I was not able to find a contact person in the Riverton Gurdwara through my personal contacts in Derby. One morning, I looked up the Riverton congregation website and called the president of the Gurdwara organizing committee, Sukhvir Singh, and asked him if I could meet and talk about my study. He gave me his wife, Preet Kaur’s number, and asked me to talk with her. I called Preet Kaur and she assured me that she would talk with me in person after the next Sunday after the services. She told me on phone that the city of Riverton had about 35-40 Sikh families living in different neighborhoods. After the next Sunday service before langar, Preet Kaur came and initiated her introduction and asked me about my study. After I told her about my interests, she immediately showed her resistance to the topic and said, “Nobody will really be interested in talking about these issues with you.” I was very disappointed with her response. We both went to lunch 60 together. While I was talking with her, many lunch attendees were looking at me suspiciously. During my initial Sunday lunches, they might have thought that I was among many other Indian students or faculty from the University who come and attend their services and langar. But today I was talking with their president’s wife. During the lunch, Preet Kaur introduced me to one of the visitors from Derby, who was a teacher in the school district. I told her about my research interests in the community. She immediately requested Preet Kaur to help me because of the relevance of the topic for their community. She further suggested that I should also include a focus group or detailed interview with a group of young adults, who had grown up in the United States, with their Indian born immigrant parents. She suggested that this would help me gather their experiences about maintaining ethno-religious identity while having relationships with their American peers and teachers. During my next few visits, Preet Kaur tried to avoid any eye contacts and conversations with me. While I tried to talk with other women during the langar, she used jokes like, “she is here to check your immigration papers from the immigration department” and the community seemed to shut down even though I tried to clear up my position. In the meantime, I tried to connect with Sikh Gurdwaras and communities in Derby through Facebook and other social media. Through the private messaging option on the Facebook, I asked them to help in my study. They suggested that I should change my study site to their city because they felt that lack of education in the Riverton Sikh community was the biggest barrier in my access to the community. Three months passed by. I visited the Gurdwara every Sunday and showed my presence at their services and langar. However, more and more people were giving me suspicious looks now. I was waiting for approval of my research project from the Institutional Board (IRB), but I was worried as by the end of March 2011, I was not able to obtain the access 61 to the community. Although the response was discouraging, I did not discontinue my visits. I kept attending their services and tried to keep my hopes high. I called Preet Kaur again in April 2011 to request her help. The day I called her was the Sikh Annual Day Parade of that year. She invited me to the parade in downtown Riverton on that very day. Unfortunately, due to prior commitments I couldn’t go and I apologized to her. During my next visit to the Gurdwara, she avoided me completely. I was very discouraged. By this time I had built good rapport with many Sikh women in the Derby area. I called one of them in the beginning of May 2011 to see if she could give me some leads in obtaining access to the Riverton community. She suggested that I should contact Sardar Hukum Singh, one of the elderly members of the community and secretary of the Gurdwara organizing committee. She added, “People respect him and he can make announcement about your study during one of his Sunday announcements to the community.” In May 2011, after one of the Sunday services, when the committee members sit in the prayer hall and count the donations of the day and make important decisions, while everyone else go down to eat langar, I stopped by at this group meeting and gave a small donation check to Sr. Hukum Singh. He thanked me for the donation. I asked him, “[name of the person] from Derby asked me to contact you. Can I call you in the evening?” He happily gave me his phone number. I called him in the evening and told him that I was interested in learning about Sikhism and parenting practices of people in the community. He asked me to bring a written description of my study during the next Sunday service so that he could announce it after the service. After the next service, he asked a young father in the community, Devinder Singh, to read my research agenda. They wanted to make sure that there were no risks involved in the study for their community members. During this time, I also discussed the monetary incentives for children 62 participants. With much resistance they agreed to the incentives for children. They said, “We are willing to help you. We do not need money to help you out.” 3.1.2. Initial Access to the Community The following week, Sr. Hukum Singh invited me to the podium and asked me to announce my study. During my study announcement, I explained the purpose of the study and the procedures for the data collection. Some educated men in the community talked with me about my study after the service. One of them gave me his address and phone number and invited me to his home to do his family’s interviews. The Gurdwara priest and his assistants started to talk with me after the announcement of the study; they otherwise always looked suspiciously at me. The women in the community still were not open to coming forward. Only one woman, Sr. Hukum Singh’s daughter-in-law, came forward and invited me to her convenience store to do her interview. She also added, “Due to lack of much education in our community, people wouldn’t come forward themselves; you have to ask them to participate.” Gradually I started talking to more women during the community lunch (langar). By this time many of them knew me that I was a researcher from the University. 3.1.3. Becoming an Insider Service. Sewa (service) is one of the ten Sikh beliefs; many attendees at the Gurdwara volunteer for various tasks such as cleaning, cooking, serving food, dishwashing, and many other activities. After two or three visits at the Gurdwara after the announcement, I arranged two focus groups: one with fathers and one with mothers. I invited 3-5 fathers and same number of mothers to participate, but only 3 fathers and 2 mothers could agree to meet at the same time. Later I realized that it was easier to do individual interviews at their homes than to have them agree on a common time for the focus groups. Sukhvir Singh and his wife Preet Kaur volunteered to 63 participate in these two focus groups. I went to the Gurdwara at the designated time and day I arranged the men’s focus group. One of the participants was already there. He asked me to have lunch in the basement while we were waiting for the other participants to come. After the lunch, I asked the two women who were working in the kitchen if I could help in washing dishes and cleaning up. They agreed and shared with me, “It’s good to do sewa. It’s a big part of our religion.” Both the ladies left me working in the kitchen after a while. The Gurdwara priest, Shamsher Singh, I came downstairs and had brief friendly conversations with me regarding where came from in India, what I was doing at the University, and how I got interested in Sikhism. I was washing the dishes while talking with him. Due to some unavoidable circumstances for one of the focus group participants, I had to cancel the focus group that day. However, the next day when I came to Gurdwara, I was an insider. Hukum Singh’s wife came and asked me to join her for tea and snacks in the basement. Later I came to know that the two women whom I worked with in the kitchen were Hukum Singh’s daughters. In the weeks followed, I helped the community women in making chapattis for langar. I was able to become part of their conversations gradually. Play Group. The Gurdwara priest, Shamsher Singh, always presented me as a teacher to the children coming to the Gurdwara. Often times he used my name to discipline children running around in the Gurdwara premises after langar. One day when Sardar Hukum Singh announced, “I humbly request all the mothers in the service to please mind their children who run and jump around”, I volunteered myself to start a play group in the basement. I thought it would be a nice “give back” to the community, who were willing to help me now. I collected all the unused stationery including papers, colored pens, pencils, crayons, water colors, and some craft kits at my home in a box and brought the box to the Gurdwara next Sunday. Gradually the 64 children started coming to the play group and older girls and boys started to help me. Now the mothers who made chapattis in the kitchen (adjacent to the dining hall where I ran this play group) started to open up to me because I was playing with their children. At least two men in the community offered monetary help to buy more art material and stationery for the children. I humbly told them that this was my way to do sewa (service) to the Gurdwara. Some of the children in the group were also bringing their homework to get help from me. I trained two to three older youth in assisting young children with their projects. If I was not planning to come the next Sunday, I would give responsibility of all these children to the older children in the group. That was another way that I became an insider. Strengthening the Relationships. I started to build my rapport at the Gurdwara, but I expanded my relationships with the community by visiting their businesses (i.e., stores, gas stations, ice cream parlors). I came to know that there was a community member, who recently started his auto-insurance agency for a well-known insurance agency. I changed my autoinsurance to him, which further strengthened my relationships. After a few weeks people got used to me—they started asking me why I did not come on last Sunday. Community Involvement. Community involvement is an important part of ethnographic research, where the data collection requires the researcher to immerse in the community to live their experiences. I attended festivals and Sunday community lunches with them to make connections with people and to understand their day to day religious and communal lives and how this might impact their socialization practices as parents. I spent somewhere between 90100 hours in the community. After looking at the Gurdwara calendar on their website, I marked my calendar to attend festivals and religious observations at the Gurdwara. Community involvement was a two-process. I invited community members to contribute to my research by 65 providing their feedback on my research questions, focus group protocols, and interview protocols. I also involved the community members in making important decisions on the dissemination of research findings. The community members felt respected and participated in the study enthusiastically after the initial resistance. 3.2. Recruitment, Sample Selection, Consent Process, Participants Figure 3.1. Planning, Recruitment, and Sampling Purposive sampling  Convenience of location  In-depth study of one site Site selection Riverton Congregation  Website  Personal Contacts  Phone  In person  Emails (face book) Making Key Contacts Recruitment and sample selection for pilot  Regular Sunday visits to congregation  Participation in special events (festival celebration) Community Involvement Recruitment Process for Interviews Sample selection (12 families) 4 Grandparents 4 Girls 66 Three focus groups  Fathers (N=3)  Mothers (N=2)  Adult youth (N=2)  Initial planning  Recruitment  Decision making  Word of mouth  Congregation staff Snowball/ Criterion sampling (2 parent families migrated after 1980s having at least one boy between ages 10-18); Girls 10-18 yrs old Content Analysis Developing Interview Protocols 3.2.1. Recruitment Methods Due to the “voluntary nature of religion,” i.e., whether they want to affiliate to their religion or not, in the United States, immigrants have the choice to become a member of congregations, whereas in their home countries they are born in a national or ethnic religion (Yang & Ebaugh, 2001, p.273). However, research shows that immigrants attend congregations to preserve their culture as well as to benefit from different activities that their religious congregations in the United States sponsor (Yang & Ebaugh). For example, Gurdwaras become places for some important ceremonies for Sikh immigrants, like naming of newly born children, marriages, and funeral (Mann, 2000); they also provide sociocultural services to immigrant Sikhs such as celebrating Punjabi festivals and teaching Punjabi and religion classes to children (O’Connell, 2000). Therefore, recruitment through Gurdwara was one of the most efficient options. I chose to use a combination of recruitment methods to increase the efficiency. Mostly I used “word of mouth” technique to recruit my participants (Dumka et al., 1998; Gilliss et al., 2001; Rodriguez et al., 2006). Many members were living in the same neighborhoods, so the “word of mouth” was a viable option (Harachi et al., 1997). Overall, a combination of religious organization (Gurdwara) and key personnel of the Gurdwara (organizing committee) was used to recruit the participants. Research shows that recruitment through informal networks of colleagues, friends, and community organizations is effective (MacDougall & Fudge, 2001). A combination of various strategies often works synergistically, i.e., using one approach with other enhances the impact of other or vice-versa (Rodriguez et al., 2006). 3.2.2. Sample Selection The participants for the focus groups were selected based on convenience. Fathers and mothers for the pilot focus groups were selected by using key contacts; these did not have to be 67 parent dyads from the same families. The participants of the third pilot focus group (i.e. of young adults) were selected by using personal contacts. The sample for interviews were selected purposively by using two selection strategies: 1) Snowball sampling, where participants after their interviews were asked to refer to one of the families that fulfill the same criterion as theirs, and 2) Criterion sampling, where I asked the families to refer me to a two-parent family, who have had migrated in 1980s to the United States, had a boy between the age group 10-18 years, and attended the Gurdwara, once in a while if not more often. By the time I conducted the focus groups with the grandparents and the girls in the community, I have had made enough reputation among the community members to ask the adult participants and parents of the girls in the focus group directly. Parents differ in their socialization, which is why I included mothers as well as fathers in my study. However, it took me longer to recruit fathers because they were working 1214 hours at their convenience stores. Initially, many fathers also showed resistance to participate by saying, “What role do I play? I earn. Ask their mom.” There were only two fathers in the study, who were easily accessible. One of them volunteered to participate after the announcement; the other agreed after one phone call. There were 3 fathers, who participated through spontaneous persuasion from their wives. It took me many visits to their convenience stores and phone calls to convince the other seven fathers. After conducting parents’ and boys’ interviews, an IRB revision was filed to add grandparents and girls focus groups in data collection. The grandparents in the community play an important role in supporting parents’ roles and in socializing their grandchildren. All the grandparents that I asked to participate agreed to do so. It was also important to add girls’ perspective to the study to understand the gender differences. Girls are taught more about cultural beliefs and values with an assumption that they would carry them forward to the next 68 generations, whereas boys are prepared more to deal with discriminatory and biased experiences (Hughes et al., 2008). Sikh boys face more discrimination outside of home due to their religious symbols; I was interested in exploring if Sikh boys were socialized differently than girls. 3.2.3. Consent Process Initially, the Institutional Review Board (IRB) approval was obtained to conduct three pilot focus groups with men (fathers), women (mothers), and young adults. The IRB asked for a permission letter from the Congregation Committee for me to observe events and services in the congregation. I asked the Gurdwara secretary to provide me the letter, which he gave me without hesitation. Please see attached (Appendix- I). The focus group consents were read to the participants and asked to sign their permissions (Appendix-II). Only two focus groups were recorded. The women in the focus group were wary of recording their interviews, so they refused to be recorded. However, later in personal interviews, all but one mother gave their permissions to be recorded. Extensive notes were taken in the women’s focus group. After collecting the pilot data, a revision was filed to the IRB to conduct individual interviews and focus group with grandparents and girls in the community. Informed parent consents and separate consent forms for children were used to conduct parents’ and children’s interview. The privacy of the participants was maintained to the maximum extent possible by de-identifying the interview transcripts and assigning pseudonyms to the participants. However, the participants in the study shared the information about my visits with each other. Therefore, most of them knew who participated in the interviews. 3.2.4. Participants Most people whom I asked in the community to participate in the interviews participated in the study except for one family, who refused to participate. The father in this family said that 69 they did not socialize their children towards their ethno-religious identity formation. He added said, “My children even do not like to come to the Gurdwara.” He did not want to talk about participation after one request. A total of 15 fathers (three in pilot focus group and 12 in interviews), 13 mothers and one proxy for mother participated (two in focus group and 12 in interviews) in the study. A total of 12 boys between ages 10-17 participated in the individual interviews. I was more interested in understanding the socialization of boys as they are more prone to discrimination due to their outward identity markers. Three grandfathers and one grandmother participated in a focus group. Four girls between the ages 10-18 years, of which 2 were sisters, participated in another focus group. Altogether, 35 adults and 16 children (N=51) participated in the study (Refer to figure 3). A detailed description of each family is provided in the results section. Figure 3.2. Study Participants 3 Men in Pilot Focus Group Individual Interviews: 12 Fathers 12 Sons 11 Mothers; 1 adult daughter used a proxy for mother 2 Women in Pilot Focus Group Girls Focus Group: 4 girls aged between 10-18 years 2 Young Adult in Pilot Focus Group Grandparents Focus Group: 3 Grandfathers and 1 Grandmother Observation Data/Field Notes In the next section, I will focus on my place, as a researcher, in the study and lessons that I learned in my field work. 70 3.3. Reflexivity I learned many lessons during my ethnographic work in the field that I describe below. 3.3.1. Positive vs. Negative Questions I learned that the researchers should always start their work with a positive research question. Initially I went with a question to explore discriminatory practices against Sikh children in school. The key informants immediately showed resistance and served as gatekeepers for their community. When I announced my study, I reframed the question more positively, “I would like to know how the Sikh community fosters strength and resilience and teach their children about the religion.” With my positive question, I got a much better response. 3.3.2. Seeker vs. Giver Researchers bring many selves into field, I also brought many selves into the field— most importantly my researcher self. In community work, I learned that sometimes the ego associated with the researcher self might not be helpful in obtaining access to people. I learned that in any community research, the approach of researcher should be that of a seeker. Initially I shared the importance of the research and how my work could help the Sikh community, but I realized they were not interested in that aspect of my research. They took pride in helping me with my research endeavor. Even though I had more authority as a researcher and a more educated person in the community, which they respected, I decided not to show off my knowledge while interacting with community members. I did not want them to get intimidated by my researcher role. 71 3.3.3. Patriarchal Decision Making At first, I took into consideration my gender as a researcher. India is a patriarchal society, where male members of families dominate households. Although Sikhism stresses gender and social equality, females in many Sikh families, especially those who come from rural backgrounds, still do not share equal status with their male counterparts (O’Connell, 2000). According to the 2011 India census, Punjab and Haryana states had the lowest female to male ratio due to self-selection of child’s gender. I was conscious about my gender because despite my education status, the participants might see me as an Indian female holding less power than Indian males. Therefore, I considered contacting women prior to contacting men and children in families. However, it did not work well. The women in the community had more power in their household domain, but the men in the community were decision makers when it came to the decisions like who would participate. The men in the community helped me in gaining access to the community. When I tried to recruit men for the interviews through women, it never worked. I had to speak with men directly for them to agree for participation. However, 3 mothers did persuade their husbands to agree to interviews with me because I was not able to see them at the Gurdwara on regular basis. 3.3.4. Outsider vs. Insider I also brought my historical, cultural, and national selves shared with the Sikh community. I am a female who comes from Haryana state in India, which was part of Punjab until 1966. During the reorganization of the Punjab state, it was divided into two states: Punjab, the Sikh state and Haryana, the Hindu state (Angelo, 1997). As a result, many Hindus migrated to Haryana who used to speak Punjabi. I was born in a Hindu family and lived in Haryana for 23 years in Punjabi-speaking neighborhoods, therefore I understand the language. However, I am not proficient in spoken Punjabi. But all the participants in the study could speak and understand 72 Hindi very well, which is the national language of India. Thus in the community, I considered myself as an insider and outsider at the same time; an insider for the shared nationality and the outsider for being a non-Sikh and non-Punjabi speaking person. But the position of a researcher as an insider or outsider also depends on the participants—where they place the researcher (DeAndrade, 2000). After migration to the U.S. from the same region, people often time look for more similarities than differences. However, in the field I vacillated between these two selves: insider and outsider. When I was in the play group with children, I always felt that they had accepted me whole-heartedly; we communicated in English. When I talked with the men in the community, they were always very respectful, appreciated my educational level, and often asked for resources for their children (Rubin & Rubin, 2005). Although the women in the community were also respectful and welcoming, the way they dressed up every Sunday in their best clothes and jewelry, the way they talked among each other, and their topics of conversations (i.e., shopping trends, husbands, community gossip) always made me feel like an outsider. However, I tried my best to become part of their conversations, burying my real self. The topics of shopping for clothes and jewelry do not interest me as a person, but to become an insider with the women’s group, I always complimented them on what they wore and tried to participate in their conversations. I was also worried about the history of Hindu and Sikhs riots after the 1984 Indira Gandhi assassination. In India, Hindus and Sikhs lived harmoniously for years until 1984-Hindu-Sikh riots. After many years of these riots, once again these two religious groups seem to get along well. These relations also changed after the appointment of Dr. Manmohan Singh as Prime Minister of India (a Sikh male) in 2004 and reappointment for the next term in 2009. I thought that the Sikhs who came here after 1984 riots and made their homes in the United States might 73 have scars from the past, which might make my access difficult. When I asked the men in the community during their interviews the reasons for their migration, they were closed down. It was a sensitive question that I did not explore any further with the exception of getting some cursory responses like “better opportunities”, “networks.” 3.3.5. “You Tell Me your Story” and “I Will Tell You Mine” In most of my focus groups and interviews with adults, the adults were keen to learn about my goals, immigration status, family, place in India where I came from, and living arrangements in the city before they proceeded with their stories. They always asked me to bring my son the next time I visited them. In two cases, the participants offered me a place to live with their families until I graduated from the school. The participants also felt at ease in talking during the interviews after I shared my stories with them. In the subsequent sections, I will discuss the data collection procedures. 3.4. Data Collection Procedures Since not much work has been done with Sikhs, a combination of data collection procedures was beneficial in collecting data with the group (Creswell, 2007). A combination of focus group discussion to generate and improve the interview questions, one-on-one in-depth interviews to understand the process in depth, and participant observation to triangulate oral interviews was used to establish the trustworthiness of the study. The other measures taken for trustworthiness are discussed in the next section. 74 3.4.1. Focus Groups Three focus groups were conducted as part of the pilot phase to collect preliminary information on parent socialization practices. Data generated from focus groups was used to design and improve the in-depth interview protocol. Three separate focus groups, that is, with mothers, fathers, and young adults aged 20-22 years (as suggested by one of the key informants), having 2-3 members in each group, were conducted at the congregational site to generate issues relevant to parent socialization practices of Sikh parents towards ethno-religious identity formation in the United States. The analysis of this discussion was used to generate/supplement interview protocols. The participants for the focus group were recruited through “word of mouth.” The members of focus groups also served as connections to more families for in-depth interviews (see Appendix-III for the protocols). Parallel questions were asked of fathers and mothers that covered the areas such as immigration, family networks, child socialization, belonging and identity formation. The young adults were asked additional questions on their experiences of growing up in the United States while negotiating two socialization worlds. Each focus group lasted for 45 minutes to an hour. The focus groups’ content was transcribed and I examined for themes that were both common and different among the groups. Based on those overarching themes (concepts), culturally appropriate interview questions were designed. Although focus group data were used to generate interview questions, the exploratory nature of research allowed revisions for subsequent participants by adding new content generated from the earlier interviews (Koppleman & Bourjolly, 2001; Rubin & Rubin, 2005). The other two focus groups were conducted with girls and grandparents in the community. These two focus groups were conducted after the individual interviews were done with parents and boys. The girls’ focus group was conducted at one of the family’s home. The 75 host mother had two girls who participated in the focus group. She also invited the other two girls to her house. This focus group lasted for one and a half hour. The girls were asked parallel questions that were asked of boys in their individual interviews—questions related to family networks, parental expectations, school, participation in religious practices, and identity. The grandparents’ focus group was conducted at the Gurdwara and lasted for 45 minutes. The grandparents were asked questions on immigration and their role in supporting parents’ roles and socializing their grandchildren. 3.4.2. In-depth Interviews Recruitment and Location. In-depth interviews were conducted with mothers, fathers, and boys in the recruited families to gather comprehensive information on the constructs, such as parent socialization and ethno-religious identity formation (Polkinghorne, 2005; Seidman, 1991). Of the 12 father interviews, 5 interviews were conducted at participants’ homes and 7 interviews were conducted at their convenience stores. Each interview lasted for 30-45 minutes. Of the 12 mother interviews (including a proxy), 11 interviews were conducted at participants’ homes and 1 interview was conducted at the person’s convenience store. All but one child interviews were conducted at their homes after their mothers’ interviews. I reached theoretical saturation after th the interview with the 12 family, so the interview process was stopped after that. One to two visits were made to each household to complete the three interviews per family. The structure of interviews was comprised of main questions, follow-up questions, and probes. The involvement in community and the pilot focus groups helped in developing culturally appropriate questions to elicit meaningful response from the ethno-religious group of interest (e.g., Gallagher et al., 2003). The interviews were audio-recorded and notes were taken. 76 3.4.3. Participant Observations Forty hours of participant observations were done during the Sunday services and the play group and field notes were taken after each service. Most notes were completed soon after I left the Gurdwara. I did not want to raise suspicion in the community by taking notes during my involvement in the service and the play group. The observations were used to describe the context, activities, interactions, and religious practices of the group. The observations were also used to supplement and clarify data derived from participant interviews. In the field, along with conducting the interviews, I observed behaviors, gestures, tone, facial expressions, and other nonverbal indications (Polkinghorne, 2005). Observation of interviewer’s home (e.g., artifacts, altars) and nonverbal gestures were used to shed light on the meaning of a participant’s oral comments (Polkinghore). The broad objective of the observations was to evaluate how community adults help Sikh parents in the socialization process of these children towards their ethno-religious identity formation. After each observation, questions and cues were clarified with the parent sample in the study. In the next section, I will explain the analytical procedures that I used in the present study. 3.5. Data Analytical Approach The focus groups and interviews were recorded, transcribed, and translated into English. A cultural consultant was used to check the accuracy of translation for 20% of the data. The transcripts were imported into analytic software Nvivo 9 that helped in the organization and presentation of codes in the data. For the focus group interviews, I used content analysis to elucidate the concepts and questions of importance in order to inform and structure questions for my ethnographic interviews. To analyze the interviews with both parents and grandparents, I 77 used thematic analysis (Strauss & Corbin, 1998). The analytic process began with “open coding”, whereby the data was broken into discrete units of analysis; the data and assigned initial labels demanded close attention. The next step was “axial coding”, which has been defined as a process of relating categories to their subcategories or higher level conceptual code (Strauss & Corbin, 1998, p. 123). At this stage, special attention was paid to causal conditions (what factors caused the phenomenon), interaction among actors, contextual factors, strategies (actions taken), and consequences (outcomes) (Creswell, 2007; LaRossa, 2005). The final step was “selective coding”, in this step I developed propositions that interrelate the categories (Strauss & Corbin, 1990). Splitting and lumping of codes were completed using the analytical software during the refinement of the codes. Through the thematic analysis, patterns were identified to compare and contrast the socialization practices of the parents in the community. The descriptive accounts of festival celebrations, rituals, events, and practices significant to the community are described in the results chapter. The analysis also helped in identifying the collective beliefs, practices, values, symbols, and worldviews of the Sikh community in the Riverton area. Parent socialization was studied in the context of families and families were studied in the context of the community. 3.6. Retention of Participants and Leaving the Site Initial contact made by researchers is vital, and should be personable. I took several steps to keep my presence in the community. I attended their Sunday services regularly, accepted invitations to two religious ceremonies at participants’ homes, and celebrated their important festivals with them in the community. I visited two families to meet their sick family members.—in one of the families, the grandmother had a stroke and in another family, the 78 daughter had undergone a knee surgery. I frequented their businesses to buy things for children in the play group. I also maintained contacts with my participants via telephone. Leaving a research site or community with care and respect is equally important as it is to enter into a community—equal standards of ethics should be maintained (Koppleman & Bourjolly, 2001). I am still in contact with the site; however, my Sunday visits have been reduced substantially. I spoke with the Gurdwara priest and the secretary telling them that I would be busy for 2-3 months in the process of writing; therefore, my visits would be erratic. However, I would make sure to attend their special events. I also talk with community members in person or on phone to get their feedback on my findings. I will go to the Gurdwara after I am finished submitting my dissertation to thank the community for their help and support during the process. If my budget allows at the time, I am planning to sponsor the langar for that day. 3.7. Trustworthiness of Data The trustworthiness of the data was established in various ways. Since from each family, the data were collected from three different members on similar concepts, triangulation of data provided trustworthiness. Other data sources, such as observation and field notes also helped in understanding the meaning of analytic data. My own country of origin, gender, and religious affiliation, and prior assumptions about the community might have brought bias to the study, particularly during interpretation of findings. To avoid or minimize the researcher bias, I used field notes on experiential contexts on a weekly basis as suggested by Maxwell (1996). This type of documentation helped me clarify things during the process of data collection. During the process of data collection and analysis, I regularly consulted with members of Sikh community to interpret data findings. I also used a cultural consultant to check 20% of transcription and 79 translation, 30% of my coding, and meanings of the findings. She read the findings section and agreed with the organization and meanings of the results. I also wrote memos on methodological and ethical issues in the field. This thick description of time, context, place, and culture in my memos and field notes helped me to make my findings more transferrable to other Sikh communities in the United States. I used four different criterion of credibility as described by Guba and Lincoln (1994): 1) prolonged community engagement—trust and rapport helped me uncover constructions and understand context’s culture, 2) persistent observation—added depth to the study, 3) progressive subjectivity—memos, field notes (on data and experiential context), and consultation with community members helped me construct joint inquiry, and 4) member check—I asked one of the members from the community to read my findings. He agreed to the organization and interpretation of the findings. The important component that helped me to maintain trustworthiness of my data was community involvement throughout the process. During the pilot focus groups, members of the community helped guide my questions. They were also consulted on a regular basis for clarifications. 3.8. Limitations of Methods One should not expect homogeneity among the followers of Sikhism in the United States—there is diversity within Sikhs, in terms of practicing their religion and maintaining the external religious identity markers (Mann, 2000; O’Connell, 2000). There may be many Sikhs who do not visit Gurdwaras often or regularly. The findings of this study cannot be generalized for that group of Sikh parents. For this study, I have selected only a single site, it would be difficult to generalize the findings to all Sikh congregations and Sikh parents in the United 80 States. Adding different socialization contexts (i.e., peers, school) would have added two different perspectives, but due to time and resources limitation, I was not able to add these two important sources. The next chapter, results, is divided into two major sections—1) A Sikh village: A home away from home—a thick description of the participants, community, and the Gurdwara Sahib, 2) Parent socialization practices. Please note that pseudonyms are used throughout the results section for names of the participants. 81 CHAPTER 4 FINDINGS: A SIKH VILLAGE: A HOME AWAY FROM HOME “We are related to each other. All the 30-35 families that you see coming to the Gurdwara every Sunday are related to each other. Koi mamme da, koi chache da to koi pua da munda ya kudi si, ya phir ekko gaon se jaan pechan si (Either someone is your cousin or from the same village in Punjab)”, said Jasleen Kaur, a mother of two boys, who come to Gurdwara every Sunday with her children. The families that attend the congregation in the area started to migrate in mid 1980s, mainly from the three districts in the northwest Punjab: Kapurthala, Jalandhar, and Amritsar (See the Figure 4.1. Emigration Districts in Punjab marked districts in Figure 4.1). Devinder Singh, an initial focus group participant, who speaks fluent English, owns a gas Amritsar Kapurthala station, and has a property dealing business, mentioned that Jalandhar most Sikhs in the area are Labanas, a sub-caste within Sikhs. Although the Sikh religion condemns the notion of the ancient time caste system and encourages equality, the caste 82 nomenclature is still present. The literal meaning of Labana is traders of salt. This group of people traditionally used to travel for salt business. The group played an important role in the history of Sikh religion, where many Labanas participated in Guru’s army in fighting against th injustice. In the 18 century, Labanas started to own agricultural lands, but business and army remained two common professions for this group of people. The community is considered as hard working, dynamic, and rich and a good number of Labanas have settled in the United States in the states of New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, and Michigan (Sikhi Wiki, 2012). All but one family in the present study belonged to the Labanas subgroup. One family was Jutt Sikh, another Sikh sub caste. 4.1. Reasons for Migration The years followed the 1984 Prime Minister Indira Gandhi assassinations by her Sikh bodyguards were marked by atrocities with Sikhs and violation of the human rights in the history of mankind. Many Sikh youth and men fled from India and migrated to Britain, Canada, and the United States of America. Many more sought asylum and came as political refugees (O’Connell, 2000). The participants in the present study reported coming to the United States after 1984. ‘Reasons for migration’ was a very sensitive question to explore. Every time I asked men why they migrated, either there was a long pause or a nervous laugh at the question. Many of them after a while said, “better opportunities” or “we all know why we come to the United States— better future.” Only one man, who came in 1995 through a different route than New York, noted in details his reasons for migration, 83 I came from a farmer’s family from a small village in India. Most of my family members, my father and uncles were farmers. I came here to achieve something by making some choices. I came here for the betterment of my family. Here I have a house, I am working, I can afford all basic necessities of life; I can also help my people back home (Kartar Singh). Some others mentioned that they already had relatives living in the New York City, so they came and joined their relatives to find work and better life opportunities in the United States. I did not go in depth with this question to avoid sensitive situations that the old memories of leaving their country might have brought to them. I also did not want to close the participants in sharing their parenting practices with me. Most women talked about “joining their spouses” as the main reason for their migration. 4.2. New York: A Primary Destination for Sikh Men Most people in the community migrated to the New York City as their primary destination between 1984 and 1994. “New York was the main destination for people coming from India because it was easy to find work there”, said Ranveer Singh, a father of two children. There were three men among the interview participants, who did not come through the New York route—Kartar Singh came through Derby in 1995 and Satinder Singh came directly to the Riverton in 2004. Please refer to Table 4.1. 84 Table 4.1. Participant Information for First Migration Interview Family Primary City-Men Primary CityWomen Entry YearMen Entry YearWomen Marriage > years Men Women in India after Marriage 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Derby NY NY NY NY Riverton NY 1995 1991 1992 1988 1994 2004 1990 2000 1993 1998 1998 1999 2004 2004 2000 1994 1997 1998 1998 1991 2004 5 2 6 10 5 0 14 0 NA 1 NA 1 0 3 8 9 10 11 12 NY NY NY NY Mexico, CA, NY Riverton NY NY NY Riverton Riverton Toronto, Riverton NY NY NY NY NY 1984 1985 1986 1984 1985 1993 1994 1995 1994 1990 1991 1988 1990 1996 1991 9 9 9 10 6 2 6 5 NA 1 Table 4.1 illustrates that in all but one case, the men in the study migrated to the United States before the women. On an average, the men in the study came 7 years (SD=3.6) before their spouses. However, there were three families, where the women migrated with their parents, got married in the United States, and moved with their husbands. In one of these cases, the parents returned back to India after getting their daughter’s marriage. In the other two cases, the parents stayed in the New York area. One of these couples (grandparents now) moved to the Riverton area with their son’s family. One of the women came to Canada with her parents after 3 years of her marriage and then entered into the United States to join her husband. All the marriages were arranged through the network of relatives, “He [husband] came to India and then our relatives helped us to get married. His maternal uncle’s wife was a common relative and she helped us set up together (laughing)”, were some of the reiterating stories that the female 85 participants shared. More than half of the women participants stayed in India for 1 to 6 years after marriage and joined their husbands later. 4.2.1. Age at Migration and Current Age of Parents All but one man migrated to the United States when they were either adolescents or young adults. Please refer to Table 4.2 for the age at migration and the current age of the participants. The average age of the men at the time of migration was about 5 years younger than that of the women at their time of migration. The youngest man was 15 years old and the oldest man was 36 years old. Those who migrated to New York ranged from 19-23 years of age. Also the three women, of which 2 migrated at age 17 and 1 migrated at age 20 years, accompanied their parents and got married in the United States—these women migrated at much earlier ages than the other women in the group contributing to the higher standard deviation in women’s age. Table 4.2. Participant Information for First Migration Interview Family Age at Current Immigration Age 1 28 39 2 17 35 3 21 34 4 20 34 5 25 37 6 32 39 7 28 35 8 19 37 9 26 43 10 29 45 11 17 34 nd 2 Gen 12 Dalbir S 20 46 Simran K 20 Mean Age 19 yrs. (3.2)* 42 (2.6) Mean Age 24 yrs. (5.2) 37 (3.8)** * The man who came in 2004 (36 years old) was not included in the mean age for men. ** The family 12 daughter, who was interviewed as a proxy for her mother was not included in calculating the current mean age for the mothers. Father Kartar S Manjit S Prabhjeet S Rajinder S Pardeep S Satinder S Ravinder S Ranveer S Deepinder S Amanveer S Baldev S Age at Immigration 25 19 23 17 20 36 16 15 16 19 15 Current Age 41 39 42 40 37 43 41 43 44 45 42 86 Mother Amandeep K Bhupinder K Chann K Guneet K Harjot K Kanwal K Komalpreet K Gurpreet K Sarabjeet K Harkiran K Jasleen K On an average, men were 5 years older than their wives, which used to be a norm in traditional arranged marriages in India to have an age gap of about 5-6 years between husband and wife (Myers, Madathi, & Tingle, 2005). Two men in the study were married twice—one got married to a Muslim girl in New York and got his divorce when his first wife’s father started interfering in their lives—he got remarried to an Indian Sikh girl the second time; another man lost his wife to cancer a year before the interview. Recently, he visited India and remarried within one year of his first wife’s death—his second wife is still living in India with his mother. There has been a lot of tension around his second marriage in the family—his children and his older brother are not happy about his decision. 4.2.2. Education Level of Parents Most parents, specifically fathers in the group were not educated beyond high school level. Please refer to Table 4.3 for details. The 3 high school dropout fathers were the ones who came to New York at very young age. Only one father came with a graduate degree from India. Another graduate father finished his Masters in the United States. 87 Table 4.3. Education Level of Parents Interview Family 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Father Kartar S Manjit S Prabhjeet S Rajinder S Pardeep S Satinder S Ravinder S Ranveer S Deepinder S Amanveer S Baldev S Dalbir S Education Graduate High School Graduate High School High School High School High school dropout High school dropout High school dropout High School High School High School Mother Amandeep K Bhupinder K Chann K Guneet K Harjot K Kanwal K Komalpreet K Gurpreet K Sarabjeet K Harkiran K Jasleen K Simran K Education Graduate Some College High School BA Some College High School Some College High School dropout High school High School High School dropout College On average, mothers had higher education than fathers. Of the 11 mothers that I interviewed, 2 were high school dropouts, 4 were high school graduates, 3 had gone to college, one had finished her BA, and one also went to graduate school. The girl who was interviewed as a proxy for her mother was taking college credits in Riverton Community College at the time of interview. The women mentioned two main reasons for discontinuing their education—lack of opportunities for higher education due to moving with husband after marriage and their maiden family’s location in India. “I was going to college in India. I completed 3 years of my BA and dropped out before completing it because of my marriage. After coming here, I did not go for my education”, said Harjot Kaur. Another participant, Harkiran Kaur, illustrated how it was difficult to get a college education while living in small interior places in India. During those times in India, we were not allowed to go to college. We were not in proper Jalandhar (a big city in Punjab)….the colleges were at distance. We 88 used to live in a village. There were only schools, but no colleges. We [as girls] were not allowed to go to outside of village to pursue our education Only one woman pursued her graduate degree after her marriage. Amandeep Kaur, who pursued her graduate school education in the United States, changed her line of study because she felt that her qualifications from India were not translated into a rewarding employment experience in the United States. So I came here as an engineer and did not get a job. I came fresh here and my education was different than what was being taught here. Everything was very new for me. The whole electrical system was new. What I learned in India seemed useless here, or at least I could not put that knowledge to much use. So it was a big learning curve for me. Kartar Singh, Amandeep’s husband, however, did not face any such issue of transferring his Indian education to his job in the United States. He had his physical therapy license from India. When asked if he faced any challenges in transferring his educational qualifications from his employment, he articulated, Not that much actually because in physical therapy at that time we used to get job in that field right away, so when I came over here, I already had my license. It took me about 4 months to get my temporary license—I practiced on that license and then after sometime I got permanent license. For me, ‘no, it was not that hard’. In the next section, I will discuss some of the initial jobs that these parents took after coming to the New York City followed by a section on initial difficulties and challenges that they faced in the New York City. 89 4.2.3. Men’s Employment Figure 4.2 illustrates the work that the men, who participated in interviews, took up when they came to New York. These men lived in the New York City for an average of 12 years (5-16 yrs.). Many men came to the United States as adolescents—at that time they took up work assignments of restaurant workers, construction workers, and in one case cloth shop helper. “I started with dishwashing in a hotel. The hotel’s name was paradise”, said Amanveer Singh. Figure 4.2. First Professions of Men after Primary Migration The men who came as young adults and came through New York route started driving NYC taxis and those who came as adolescents also got their driver’s licenses after a few years. Most of the men in the group articulated the importance of networks in getting their jobs. To start a new business in this country, you have to rely on contacts. So it was hard to get into that industry without having any of our Sikh fellows. Like among 90 us, Sukhvir Singh was the first one to start taxi in New York and we followed him (Amanveer Singh) Deepinder Singh, who came to New York in 1985, faced challenges in getting employment without having someone to help from his own community. Please note that the men who came in 1990s found more support and networks than those who came in 1980s. According to Deepinder Singh, things started to improve later on, but he had to face many challenges I was unemployed for first 6 months. I had no job—wherever I went, people refused to give me work. They do not employ you if you do not have SSN or permit to work—especially if you have to work with Gora log (White people). So you know these days it is different. We have lots of people who employ us and they are from our community. Sometimes they do not care about these things (SSN and permit). But it was hard to get a job during those days with Gora log. Now since we have our businesses, we try to employ our people. Thankfully, I had a brother living in New York. He helped me sustain there. Many men in the study mentioned the importance of having relatives already living in the United States. For example, Rajinder Singh, who had his older brother living in the New York City, found it easier to come and settle in the United States, “My older brother and other relatives were in New York. They were cab drivers. My brother sponsored me and I came to New York and I was all set to go.” Satinder Singh, who came to Riverton directly, noted the support and sponsorship that he got from his wife’s family, “My father-in-law applied for our papers and I came with my family. I wanted to start a business and I thought it was a good opportunity at the time, so we all came. We started working here.” “I did not face many challenges in terms of adjustment. My family members were already there. They took care of my living and food. They 91 told me what to do or what not to do in the beginning years, said Ravinder Singh. Prabhjeet Singh, who did not talk about getting any support from his relatives during his beginning years, said, Nobody guides you; nobody tells you how to do things. Once you come here you are here by yourself. It is up to you whether it takes you one day to figure out life in America or it takes you months or it takes you years. That’s all. Nobody guides you. Although most men in the study noted the support that they got from their relatives and friends after arriving in the New York City in getting jobs, housing, and ‘survival tips’, they also articulated many difficulties and challenges. In the next section, I will discuss the difficulties and challenges that the men in the study noted. 4.2.4. Initial Difficulties and Challenges: Men “If you [I] can write your PhD paper on your [my] challenges, probably we can write a whole big book on challenges and difficulties we faced when we came here”, said Sukhvir Singh, an initial focus group participant, who wanted to hear from me about my PhD program, how I came to the United States, and what challenges I faced. He came to the New York City in 1984 and established himself there. He served as a key member of the community network and people sought his help and advice in establishing themselves during their primary and secondary migration. The difficulties and challenges that the participants reported to face were: Hard Work, Low Wages. Many men noted that they were working 12-14 hours a day for the low wages that they were getting. “I was washing dishes which was of course very hard work for the money that I was getting to do it”, said Amanveer Singh. “I worked. I worked very hard after coming here. I worked as a construction worker. And it was a heavy duty work”, 92 remembered Manjit Singh. Pardeep Singh also noted the challenges in his taxi driving work, “I was continuously driving the cab to earn money. I was getting little rest during the work. I added on a lot of weight and stress to my life after that work.” Financial Constraints. Two men in the study noted that almost all people in their community had seen hardships in getting well-paid jobs in the beginning years. “The cost of living was very high in New York”, said Ranveer Singh. “The rent of an apartment [in New York] is about $1800-1900 per month”, added Deepinder Singh. He also noted challenges in the taxi driving work, “In taxi job, the downfall is that if you do not get customers, it’s an expense. You get your cabs on lease, you pay lease amount, gas amount and then a lot of money goes to maintenance as well.” To deal with the financial challenges, 12-15 men used to live in one bedroom apartment, while their spouses were living in India or some of them were still unmarried. When I asked Deepinder Singh ‘how did they manage living in that kind of arrangement’, he added that “some would work during night; others would work in daytime, so it worked out well.” Homesickness. Only Amanveer Singh shared that he felt homesick after coming to the United States because he had left a big family back home, “I was homesick all the time. I used to feel so nostalgic because most of my family members were in India. I came from a household that used to have 4-5 families living in one big compound.” Language. It is interesting to note that not many male participants noted language issues. Their perception of language challenges was shaped around two main ideas: 1) Nature of work: “We can communicate our idea—we deal with customers and in New York we dealt with taxi riders, we do not need much language to deal with them (Manjit Singh),” and 2) Network of relatives already living in the New York City: “We had our relatives to help us. They knew better 93 English than us. ” However, Kartar Singh, who is the most educated man in this group, noted that he faced many communication issues at his work as a Physical Therapist: First challenge was communication. In India I went to a local school where Hindi and Punjabi were the mediums of teaching. I went to English medium during my higher education. We had a subject English during my primary education but we never spoke in English. You need environment to learn a language. So, communication was the biggest problem. Differential Treatment by Americans. Not many men in the community talked about differential treatment at work—partly because they were working on jobs where they were not communicating much and might not have faced language discrimination, but also because of the optimism that they brought with them in the initial years. One participant noted that their jobs were always unstable and they could never find time to visit their families back home. “I always had a fear of getting fired because I was an outsider”, said Deepinder Singh. Amanveer Singh added, “Our wives and kids were in India, we wanted to visit India more frequently. We never used to get vacations to go to India and even if we went to India somehow, by the time we used to come back, our jobs were gone.” Kartar Singh, the Physical Therapist in the study, who often deals with a variety of people due to the nature of his profession, mentioned in details about the differential treatment that he received during his beginning years and continued to receive over the years, “How people treat you sometime is challenging. That was not very open but definitely and that was not offensive to me either but it’s just that I could feel that that I was being treated differently when I came here.” In the next section, I will discuss women’s employment. 94 4.2.5. Women’s Employment There were 5 women in the group who joined their husband right after their marriage; other 3 women had to wait for 1 year in India before they could join their husbands. Other 4 women remained in India for 2-6 years before they could join their husband. Each woman in the group, who stayed longer than a year in India after marriage, had at least one child who was born in India and accompanied them to the United States. Figure 4.3 illustrates the employments taken by women when they came to the United States. Many mothers remained homemakers after coming to the United States due to several reasons: 1) establishing families—bearing children, 2) young children at home, and 3) taking care of household responsibilities—extended family members living with them. Often times, these homemakers were taking additional responsibility of many single men relatives, who were either unmarried or whose wives were still living in India. Gurpreet Kaur remembered taking care of her husband’s family members when they were living in New York. We all used to live together—all three brothers lived together in a small apartment in New York. I used to work a lot—cooking, laundry, ironing. I came after my husband, and then my younger brother-in-law came. My mother-in-law also came but she went back in between. I never worked before because my kids were very young at that time. I was the only female in the household to take care of all the cooking, laundry, cleaning, and taking care of my children. 95 Figure 4.3. First Professions of Women after Primary Migration After moving to the Riverton area, Gurpreet Kaur and her sister-in-law, Harjot Kaur worked at their family convenience stores. Other homemakers had young school going children and taking care of these children and household responsibilities took most of their time. For example, Guneet Kaur articulated, “I start early in the morning. I cook children’s lunch, clean the house daily, laundry, iron, dish washing, there is no limit to my work at home till my children come back from school. No time before that.” Amandeep Kaur, who was now working as a Physical Therapist started her career as an engineer after coming to the United States. When she found a job as an engineer, it did not work out well because of the low wages for the hard work she was doing and the time conflict she was having with her household responsibilities and work. She went to school to get her graduate diploma in Physical Therapy and changed her profession completely. The women in the study also reported some difficulties and challenges that they faced after coming to the United States, but not to the extent that the men talked about their challenges. 96 4.2.6. Initial Difficulties and Challenges: Women The reason that women did not report facing many challenges, was because they already had the family members or at the least their husbands to help them navigate life in the United States. Moreover, their life was more limited in homes in the beginning years—they were interacting either with their extended family members or at the most with the shopkeepers while they were going to shop. During their shopping trips, they mentioned that they were always accompanied either by adult relatives who were living in the United States for a while or adolescent children of relatives who were going to American schools and were fluent in English. The difficulties and challenges that women noted were: language, everything new, and homesickness. Language. All but three women reported having difficulty in speaking and understanding English in the beginning years. “It was hard for me to understand anything spoken in English. I wouldn’t understand what people were talking”, said Guneet Kaur. She further added, “I used to stay at home mostly but still if I had to go for shopping sometimes, it was very hard to get how people speak English so fast here.” She realized that her BA degree from India did not help much in understanding the language. The other women in the group also reported to face similar issues with language. The ones who did not find difficulties with language mentioned having families and not having to communicate in English because they were stay home moms. For example, Kanwal Kaur said, “Where did I have to go? I had to communicate with my family members and that I could do in Punjabi (laughing).” Similarly Komalpreet noted, “I did not face many challenges. I came to a good family atmosphere and so they all helped me settle down. And I was aware of this culture a little bit by living in Canada.” Harjot Kaur, who now works at a hospital Laundromat and initially worked at her family store added, “It was not that bad for sure…I never 97 had problems…but we do not need to talk much…it is more of a physical labor.” Amandeep Kaur interacts with a diverse group of people because of her current profession; she mentioned facing initial issues with accent of people. I knew English but accent was a very big challenge for me. How you present yourself is very different. How people present themselves was very new to me when I came here—the words that they use in their conversations were not close to what I was used to in Indian school system. And I still have difficulty understanding the slangs that Americans use. It has been 11 years now, and I still face those challenges. The language challenges were more of an issue with women who went out and interacted with people outside of their household and relatives—such as if they were in a profession where communication was necessary, shopping by themselves, or going to hospitals to seek medical attention. For example, Chann Kaur talked about her experience of delivering her first child in the United States, At the time when I came here, I was pregnant. I had problems with spoken English. In India I never used English in my conversations. When I came here I had to go to hospital directly. I had problems with my conversation with nurses and doctors. I could understand what they were saying, but it was hard for me to respond back in English. Everything was new. Another challenge that women reported was difficulties in navigating different things in the U.S. life, such as handling new gadgets while trying to finish household chores in their husband’s absence and recognizing the money bills while shopping by themselves. 98 Oh mere Rabb (Oh God), it was hard to figure out that currency—so confusing, especially the coins. So think—I do not have a language and I do not know what I am carrying with me, I used to put all the money on the counter and in my broken English would tell the shopkeeper to take away the required amount. He would count and take his money and return the rest to me. My husband was always at work, so I had to be independent while he was gone, in case I had to shop (Guneet Kaur). For Amandeep Kaur, who went to graduate school, the interactions with students younger to her were challenging in the beginning, “Everything was different, the way they talked, the way they interacted, examples they were using in class.” Homesickness. Only three women reported feeling nostalgic about their lives in India and missing their parents. Those who stayed in India after their marriage did not report missing their homes, one of them said, “I used to miss my husband a lot when I was in India. So I like the U.S. any day better (laughing).” There were some women like Guneet Kaur, who got busy with their new lives and did not find time to think about it. I was newly married when I was in New York. I was new in this country and also getting to know my husband. My new life was very exciting. Then my sister was in New York at that time. If I ever missed home, I would go to her (Guneet Kaur). 4.3. Secondary Migration: Riverton is Our Home The first person from the community, who migrated to the Riverton area, was Sukhvir Singh. He mentioned in the initial focus group, 99 I came with my wife to visit her cousin who was living in Riverton since 1960s—the only Sikh family in the area at that time. We liked the place—quiet and peaceful. I was tired of driving taxis anyway. I wanted to change the line of profession. We moved in 1997, bought stores here, called my brother from New York in 1999 and now by Guru’s Meher (God’s grace), we are a big community. Other families in the study moved to the Riverton area between 1999 and 2001 (please refer to Table 4.4). Please note that all families who came in 2001 from New York moved to this area before 9/11 happened in New York. Sukhvir Singh holds a position in the Riverton Gurdwara organizing committee. The community members respect him for his entrepreneurship skills and leadership in guiding many new immigrants. As Amanveer Singh noted when I asked him why did he chose to move to this area, He [Sukhvir Singh] is the oldest among us. He was the first one to come to America among us. He was in New York and working there. We came to New York and we also worked there. He came here [Riverton] in 1997 or so, bought his stores, we also came to this area and bought houses and stores here. We liked this line of work. “In 1998-1999, people started to move to Riverton area. Not many people knew about this area. Then people from our community, mostly relatives or from same or nearby villages in India, we started to move to this area”, added Ranveer Singh. After Sukhvir Singh moved, many Sikh men who were driving taxis in the New York City made the collective decision to follow his footsteps in making their way to Riverton. The decision of moving to Riverton was mainly men’s decision—the women followed the lead. Men reported a variety of reasons for their second migration to a smaller city like Riverton from a 100 large city like New York, while women only reported that since their husbands bought businesses in Riverton, “we had to move with them.” Table 4.4. Year of Secondary Migration and Parents’ Current Profession Interview Family 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Year of Secondary Migration 2000 2000 2001 2002 1999 2004 2000 2001 2000 1999 1999 2001 Father's Current Profession Physical Therapist Convenience Store Convenience Store/Insurance Convenience Store Convenience Store Convenience Store Convenience Store Convenience Store Convenience Store Convenience Store Convenience Store Convenience Store Mother's Current Profession Physical Therapist Convenience Store-Full Time Convenience Store-Full Time Homemaker Hospital Laundromat Homemaker Homemaker Hospital Laundromat Convenience Store-Half Time Convenience Store-Half Time Homemaker Student 4.3.1. Reasons for the Move to Riverton The primary reason for the move to Riverton for men, after spending an average 12 years (5-16 years) in the New York City, was to change their profession. The other reasons that they articulated were family oriented. Having networks in Riverton was advantageous to start their business and support their families. The men followed each other’s lead in their migration to Riverton, My brother-in-law had his cousin here. You might have heard Sukhvir Singh’s name, who is the president of Gurdwara committee, he came first and then he pulled my brother-in-law and then I came. His other cousins came and then many people came this way to Riverton area. We thought that we would do a business together here (Manjit Singh). 101 Even though the participants in the study had their relatives living in New York, as Jasleen Kaur said, “New York is a big city. Even though we all were living in the same city, we were not meeting with each other that often as we are meeting here in Riverton.” The main considerations that men articulated that influenced their decision for the secondary migration are: business friendly place, family friendly place, and a good place to expand business. 4.3.1.1 .Good Place to Start a Business: Riverton Many men reported that even though the taxi driving job was any day better than construction and restaurant work, it was still time consuming, unstable, and not very profitable. At least 3 men reported having issues like not making enough business with taxi driving after putting the hard work for the whole day. Manjit Singh, whose father Hukum Singh migrated from India in 1986 and sponsored the other family members, shared reasons like heavy stress associated with taxi driving job, Just worked hard. Then we bought a Taxi Medallion in New York City. We paid for the taxi. All family members worked so hard, you know that, we earned money to build our properties so as to make future for our kids. And actually my dad and I started feeling tired with all that hard work, by driving cabs, by driving in New York City. We were so tired with this kind of work, with all that heavy traffic in New York and noise levels in the city. Deepinder Singh, along the line, shared, “I was working as a cab driver for 15 years. I got tired and thought of changing my job. It was all sedentary work—I was very tired of doing it. So I bought this business.” The businesses that men started after coming to Riverton were mostly buying their own convenience stores (please refer to table 4). The men in the community noted that initially Arab people owned the stores; they moved on purchasing or starting other 102 businesses like restaurants, movie theaters, and gas stations, “It was like a chain reaction—one of us bought a store, some of us bought in partnerships and then split, it went on and on. I told A that this store is on sale and A told B”, said Baldev Singh, who moved to Riverton with his two older brothers and their families from New York. Satinder Singh talked about this “chain reaction” of buying stores in more details, It is like a sheep goes to its flock. If other people were already doing this business, all new comers came and started following the people who were already living here. And obviously who was living here for a longer period of time was considered as a role model. Each one of us followed those people in the community. Like my father-in-law had a store and then he expanded it to two…actually his son, my brother-in-law expanded it to 2. So, we all followed each other’s lead. When I asked the men in the study why specifically convenience stores, they attributed their choice of stores to various reasons: 1) Importance of networks in work, “To start a new business in this country, you have to rely on contacts. So it was hard to get into any industry without having any of our Sikh fellows. We bought stores when we saw others doing and succeeding”, said Amanveer Singh, 2) Low education level, “What else could have we done with our high school education?” asked Dalbir Singh, and 3) Comfort level with customers, “I feel comfortable dealing with these day to day customers than having to interact with high class (Ravinder Singh)” and “I like dealing with people at stores, taxi riders do not talk to you (Deepinder Singh). Some people reported “seeking independence” as one of the motivation to change their professions. “Why should we work for someone else?” was a primary motivation to start their 103 own taxis. Moving on from the taxi driving to owning convenience stores was considered as a step further in seeking independence and social mobility. A few participants including two women noted that New York was not a good place to start business due to high cost of living and competitive environment, “My husband wanted to start his business, a store than to driving Taxi all the time. New York is a big city, so it is hard to start your own business and be successful there”, said Guneet Kaur. 4.3.1.2. Family Friendly Place: Riverton “Then our families came. New York City was very crowded and we wanted our children to grow at peaceful small places with good education system. We also wanted to save our kids from bad effects of neighborhoods and schools”, said Amanveer Singh. Many men participants noted that one of the main reasons for their migration to Riverton was that it was a family friendly place—small and peaceful yet big enough to find everything, good school system, quiet and free from noises of big cities, safe neighborhoods, and reduced proximity among community members due to neighborhood locations, were some reasons that many participants reiterated in their interviews. For example, Manjit Singh shared that he could devote more time to his family and children by moving to Riverton, We thought that it would be in their [children’s] best interest to bring them to a quieter place. At that point of time we thought of doing some businesses such as buying convenience stores or gas stations, we could not be driving taxis throughout our lives. Our family needed our time. In long run, it [driving taxis] was not a good option. One of the men, Ranveer Singh, went into detail about the antisocial environment of the New York schools, 104 Schools in the New York City were not good anymore. Kids were fighting among each other—a lots of drugs in school. My kids were young at that time, but I wanted to keep them away from that kind of environment. There were student gangs in high school—gang of Punjabi students, gang of Pakistani students, gang of African Americans, Mexicans, and they were fighting among each other. You can see them on TV and hear on radio everywhere. I was intimidated. And I wanted to take off with my family to a peaceful small place. He further added, keeping his young daughter at that time in mind, I was also concerned to see that many Punjabi girls were going out with Goras (White men)—what does that mean? We have a culture and these girls were so shameless to go out with Goras (White men). I have a daughter too. I wanted to save her from any bad influence. I decided that I would go to a peaceful place where I have more time to take care of my family. Ravinder Singh noted that it was good to raise children in a close knit community, where they could watch each other’s children and communicate with parents if they see any problem, In New York, I was always too busy to see my children. Here I am working hard, but still I can see my family more often. New York is a big city—you can’t find out about your kids no matter how strong your community is. In this area, we have a strong community and it’s a small place. You can always find out if your kids do something wrong. Someone will come and tell you that ‘your child was doing so and so’. Many kids go to the same school. Someone will come and tell me if my children do not show up in school. There was no such thing in New 105 York. If someone doesn’t want to go to school in New York—it doesn’t matter, you know. The other reason that the participants noted among their decision making was the high cost of living in New York City and with their growing families, the men were struggling to take care of their households. Baldev Singh added, The cost of living was very high. I was driving a cab and you know after rent, insurance, and gas, I was hardly saving anything. We had a two bedroom apartment—so many family members [extended family members] were living in to save money—still we were always struggling. It was more of a hand to mouth kind of thing. Our families were growing. We could not live together like this for any longer. Our needs were also increasing as kids were growing up. So I think that was another reason that we wanted to move to this area. Having other relatives already settled in the area was another motivation for this secondary migration to Riverton, “My brothers and my sister bought businesses (stores) in this area. They called us and wanted us to move here—so we decided to move to this area”, added Pardeep Singh. 4.3.1.3. Business Partnerships and Expansions in Riverton Many participants in the study noted that they felt an upward social mobility since they switched from taxi driving jobs to store ownerships. They also felt much more stability in this business than in driving taxis. Many men noted that they started their businesses in partnership with their extended family members and relatives that moved to this area. These men also generated employment for newcomers at their stores. Devinder Singh, who owns a convenience store, a gas station, opened a small ice-cream parlor at his gas station, so that he could employ a 106 distant relative, who just came from India. Satinder Singh is training his distant nephew at his store. Manjit Singh’s cousin just arrived and started working on his store part-time. Many men in the community work in partnerships. Some cover each other when one has to go on a family vacation. Others take turns in opening and closing the stores in the mornings and evenings, respectively. For example, Rajinder Singh noted, I have convenience store (s) in partnership with my brother. Actually we have two stores. We are three people—me, my brother, and my nephew. So we float between these two stores. Like right now my brother and nephew are at stores. I will go in an hour and then one of them can come back. I also take lunch for them. My sister-in-law lives in the neighborhood. So, I will pick up lunch for either one of them and the other one will come home and eat. Some men also involved their wives in their businesses. Manjit Singh talked about his wife’s involvement in his expanded business, Yes, we have only two stores. My older brother-in-law, Kanwal’s husband—we were partners. We then divided our businesses. We had three party stores—he kept one and we kept two. At one store, my wife works and at this one I work. Dalbir Singh, whose wife died a year ago, shared: I opened this store for my wife. I thought that she would come in the mornings. Kids are grown up now and go to school. It was next to my store so I bought it for her so that she can manage it. I thought that we both would work around here. Sometimes, it used to be a collective effort to take care of family business: It is a team work. We all used to take care of these businesses. Sometimes my father used to go at the stores too, but now he is retired. My wife also helps me 107 out. My wife’s nephew also goes to our stores to take care of business. I also have a person from Nepal, who is also employed at one of our stores. I only supervise everyone. I only work till 2 and then other people take care of business (Prabhjeet Singh). Many men shared proudly about the expansion of their businesses. For example, Prabhjeet Singh started with one convenience store and expanded it to two stores and now he has recently started as an agent in a well-known auto-insurance agency. Kartar Singh, who is a Physical Therapist, is planning to start his own practice with elderly care and physical therapy, “I would like to be independent, that’s why I want to start my own work”, said Kartar Singh. I observed that men used to talk about business related issues after langar on Sundays in the Gurdwara. All the families that I interviewed are home owners. They took pride in showing me their homes that they bought between 2004 and 2006. Prabhjeet Singh proudly shared that he had invested more than $300 K in his new house. Satinder Singh wanted me to know that because of his hard work, “I have bought a nice house and three cars, of which two are Lexus.” Manjit Singh shared that he and his family bought a house in New York, a house in Riverton, and a house in India, “They are all ours, and we can go wherever we want to live (laughing)”. Gurpreet Kaur and her husband, Ranveer Singh told me that they built 3-4 houses at different places in the United States and India. “Even my kids’ kids [grandchildren] do not have to work if they do not want to because of the wealth that my husband and I have accumulated for them”, said Gurpreet Kaur. 4.3.2. Women’s Professions in Riverton After moving to Riverton, at least 4 women reported helping their husbands at their convenience stores, 2 part-time and 2 full-time (see table 4). Since Bhupinder’s husband 108 expanded his business to more than one store, Bhupinder started to work on the other store. Similarly Prabhjeet Singh expanded his work with an auto-insurance company; his wife Chann has also expanded her responsibilities to full-time at their family store. Sarabjeet Kaur and Harkiran Kaur help their husbands on their stores mostly on Mondays when they get new stock—their husbands work in partnership and their convenience stores are very close to each other. Two other women in the study, Harjot Kaur and Gurpreet Kaur, whose husbands are brothers, started their work at family stores in partnership with their brother-in-law. But they complained that they were not getting paid since it was a family business. The family faced some conflicts, and with the help of an American customer, who used to work at a major hospital in the Riverton area, Gurpreet arranged work for herself and Harjot. At the time of interviews, both were working at the hospital Laundromat. Gurpreet thought it was better to earn money from outside and it also helped her making new friends with non-Punjabi people. I told her [Harjot Kaur] that if we have to get up early in the morning to go to stores, why not doing something better, you know. It is a government job and then it has better money and good benefits. And you learn by making contacts (Gurpreet Kaur). Four women in the group remained homemakers. Amandeep Kaur came directly to Riverton and she changed her profession to Physical Therapist from being an engineer. At least 3 working women noted challenges in managing their time at their work and balancing it with their home and children, as child care, elderly care, and other household remained their primary responsibilities. You know I am a new mother, leave home early, come back late, take care of kid, cook food for my family members, and take care of household put me in the tough 109 position. Cooking, cleaning, all these household chores did not leave any time for me. That was the biggest challenge that I had that I was juggling so many balls at that time with little support. So, it is hard for me to have limited hours that my inlaws are coming in and going back and having them here. And you know they are in a way responsibility that you have to take care of them. He [husband] expects me to take care of his parents and that it was my responsibility. I have had a slip disc in my back since then. Then I said that I have expectations from you as well. I need you to help me out. I am not doing anything less than that you are doing (Amandeep Kaur). On the similar line, Chann added, Since he [husband] started this auto-insurance work, I started taking care of the store more and more. Now I work during the day there and drive back at around 3 (before children come back from school). Sometimes, my husband works from home. So that day I do not have to rush back. Even if my mother-in-law stays with me and cook while I am gone, I do not tell her to do that because she takes care of my children in my absence and that’s good enough for me. But I feel stressed out because it is my primary responsibility. 4.4. Factors Affecting Successful Settlement in Riverton The participants in the study did not note many challenges during the initial years in the Riverton area. For example, one of the men said, We did not feel any complications or challenges in the Riverton area; since the beginning, we felt very comfortable in this city. We got used to the life in the United 110 States by that time because it had been about 11-12 years here. We were away from home for these many years—so coming to Riverton was not a challenge at all (Amanveer Singh). Most participants in the study noted that they were quiet successful in settling down in the Riverton area and establishing their businesses and families. Many factors converged to make them successful in their businesses and family lives: 1) Individual characteristics, such as hard work, risk taking abilities/enterprising, optimistic, desire to learn, fearlessness, and high trust level, 2) Relationships with Sikh peers, spouses, and extended family members, 3) Attachment to community and Gurdwara, and 4) Strong belief in God. In the next section, I will only elaborate on individual characteristics. The other factors that helped the participants in settling in Riverton will be discussed in the sections that follow. Individual characteristics Hard Working. As a female participant, Sarabjeet Kaur, put it, “Time runs with a person who works hard, otherwise the person remains behind and time moves on”, all the men in the study articulated about the hard work that they have put into establishing themselves. When I was interviewing Satinder Singh at his store, a man came to buy a lottery ticket. The participant was talking about hard work right before that. He differentiates himself and other Sikh fellows from such people, “See, that’s what I was talking about. These people do not work hard and live on lottery tickets. We worked hard after crossing these seven seas of this world and that desire to work hard makes us successful.” Risk-Taking Abilities/Enterprising. Many men in the study and other men during many informal conversations articulated the independent nature of the Sikh community. “We like to 111 work for ourselves and that’s why we are so enterprising. We need to take risks if we want to achieve something. Of course, we take decisions wisely”, said one man in the community. Optimism. Many participants noted that they were very optimistic about their lives in the United States, when they were leaving India. Some men in their interviews noted that they were sure that with their hard work, they could accomplish everything in this country. For example, Deepinder Singh noted, Even if we were getting only 2 dollars an hour, we were happy that we had work to do. There were many people who were unemployed there. Then I started working on construction job. Then gradually we all started getting jobs, you know. And it happened because our people started owning these businesses like restaurants, construction work, etc. So that was helpful. Many men also noted ‘survival optimism’—“there was a day when a lot of us used to live in a single bedroom apartment and had little to eat, we have come so far, we know future holds even better things for us”, said Baldev Singh. Many participants also noted that “our closeness to our religion provides us hope.” Desire to learn. At least two men and four women in the study mentioned that they learned many things by observations and by asking questions about different things that they observed. For example, Kartar Singh, the Physical Therapist in the study, noted ‘learning as means for adaptation’, Learning is important. I am always interested in learning different cultures. I am always receptive to others’ cultures and I am always willing to teach people or let them know about my culture. So I try to bridge the gap between both of us and yeah, there have been lots of changes that I went through and improvised 112 basically. And with time, when needs arise you do those things to learn more because that learning will help you survive. So I basically adapt to different environments fairly quickly. Prabhjeet Singh, who recently started his new work as auto-insurance agent added that learning is a continuous process that never ends and that creates success, It seems like that there is lot more to learn and there are lot more things that you still do not know after living for 20 or so years in the United States. This is life. I always feel that I should do that or I should know that. Like I started my party stores…I was happy for a while. .then other things pop up. I thought that I should start this auto-insurance business. I know that something else will pop up later. So with new adventures, you will have new challenges. Gurpreet Kaur, who works at a hospital Laundromat, likes to learn about various cultures at her work. She shared with me, When we are at home or we are at store, it is very boring, we always see the same faces, hear the same gossips, same stories over and over and then family conflicts are not good anyway, it’s better that we go outside, learn from outsiders…we learn from those people you know. Guneet Kaur, who faced many issues with language and money in her beginning years, noted that she always wanted to learn. Her husband gave her a little nudge, My husband encouraged me that I did not have to be shy in this country. Nobody knew me like people knew me in India. Nobody was going to judge me here based on my inability to speak a language fluently. Even if they were going to judge me, do I know them? No. Then why should I care? So basically I started 113 going out more to shopping, grocery, and relatives. I learned a lot on my own just by listening. Now I can understand the language very well. Speaking is still an issue but not that big of a deal. Regarding money, I did the same thing. I used to go to shopping independently. I would not hesitate to ask shopkeepers about the coins. My husband also encouraged that I could read dollar bills which was more important than knowing the coins. Gradually I learned them. Fearlessness. Historically, Sikhs are martyrs, who fought in their Gurus’ armies to protect people from the Mughal Emperors. The attribute of ‘fearlessness’ came up during my interviews with the participants at their convenience stores. Many participants had their stores located in very high risk neighborhoods. A week after I interviewed Manjit Singh at his store, I came to know through the community that recently a shooting happened in front of his store and a person got killed. I was always cautious about my visits at their stores after learning about the incident. I asked at least three participants, including one woman, after my observations at their stores if they were not scared of the people, who come to their stores, sometimes as crowds and in some cases drunk. All of them articulated fearlessness in their dealing with the customers. “If I am fearful, I won’t be able to work. When I have to die, I will die anywhere. I can be unfortunate anywhere. If I hide inside a pipe, if I have to die, I will die”, said Dalbir Singh. On a similar note, Satinder Singh said, “Well, we can’t run businesses if we are always scared of these happenings. All of our stores are in such high crime areas, but you know people live here. Most people are very good.” He further added, “You should know that Singhs are Kings (laughing).” Work Ethics. Many men and women participants in the study noted the value of time management and customer interactions as important tools in the successful business convenience stores. “I come and open the store always on time. If I do not, I will lose customers”, said 114 Deepinder Singh. “Customer is our priority, no matter what they need, we try to make the products available to them”, said Satinder Singh. “With my father’s help, we are always well stocked in our store, so that the customers do not go away”, said Manjit Singh. During my interviews at the convenience stores, I observed many participants dealing with their customers. They tried to speak with the same tone of voice, slangs, and accent to make their customers feel comfortable. At least two participants gave 2-3 small goods on credit. When I asked them why, they said, “We know them. They come on daily basis. That way we keep them. We never give big credits, then they won’t come back (laughing).” High Trust Level. Many men noted that they trust each other in dealings. A man at Gurdwara during an informal conversation told me, “We [Sikhs] have high levels of trust. We help each other by loaning money merely on trust. We do not do any paper work or anything, you know. Just on our juban (Verbal promise).” Manjit Singh mentioned, “If someone in our community is in need for 1000 to 5000 dollars. It is based on trust—we do that face to face. It is that we are relatives and friends and that’s why we loan money without having it in writing.” 4.5. Family Structure of Participants: Riverton 4.5.1. Children in the families Table 4.5 illustrates the number of children in each family and the information on age, gender, generation, educational level, and their participation in the study. The highlighted rows present the information on the children, who participated in the study. Altogether 17 children from these families participated in the study—12 boys in individual interviews, 4 girls in one focus group, and 1 girl was interviewed as a proxy for her mother. The average age of the boys who participated in individual interviews was 13 years (SD=2.8), with an age range of 10-17 115 years. Ten boys were born in the United States, defining them as ‘second generation children’, whereas one of them came before age 8 years, making him 1.5 generation child. One boy in the study was considered first generation child as he migrated to the United States with his parents, when he was 11 years old. Five boys were in Upper Elementary/Intermediary School, 2 were going to middle school, 4 were in high school, and 1 of them was taking associate credits from Riverton Community College in Business Administration at the time of interview. However, after 4 months, in the Annual Sikh Day Parade, I came to know that he dropped out of his college. The average age of girls who participated in the focus group was 14 years (SD=1.9), with an age range of 13-17 years. Two girls were 1.5 generation, whereas the other two were born in the United States. Two girls were going to middle school, one in high school, and one was taking associate credits from Riverton Community College in Pharmacy. On an average each family had 3 children, with a minimum of 2 children and a maximum of 4 children in families. Altogether 13 families (including one whose girls participated in focus group) had 35 children, 9 born in India, 11 born in New York City, and 15 born in the Riverton area. 116 Table 4.5. Children Information in the Participating Families Family nd Age (yrs.) 10 Male nd 6 Female Participated in Education Level Study th Interview 5 No Kindergarten nd 16 Male Interview Sophomore-HS nd 13 Female Focus Group 8 nd 10 Female No 5 nd 11 Male Interview 6 nd 12 Female No 7 nd 6 Male No 1 nd 10 Male Interview 5 nd 8 Female No 3 nd 11 Male Interview 6 nd 9 Male No 5 nd 7 Female No st 17 Male Interview 2 Taking assoc. credits st 20 Male No Junior-College Jasleen 1 1.5 13 Female Focus Group 8 Jaideep 1.5 12 Male Interview Sibling 2 nd 4 Male No 7 Stays home 8 Saihaj nd 17 Male Interview Junior-High School 9 Sibling Agampreet 2 1.5 nd 19 15 Female Male No Interview Taking assoc. credits Junior-High School 10 Sibling Sibling Amrit nd 21 18 15 Male Male Male No No Interview Senior-College Freshmen-College Junior-High School nd 20 13 Male Male No Interview Senior-College 11 Sibling Arjan nd 11 Male No nd 20 Female Proxy mother 5 Taking assoc. credits nd 10 Male Interview nd 17 Male No 5 HS Graduate nd 14 Female No Junior-High School 2 2 Sibling 1 Name of Child Paramjot Gen. 2 Ajinder 2 Chaman Sibling 2 2 Onkar 2 2 Kewal 2 Sibling 2 Sibling 6 2 Sibling 5 Parveen Sibling 4 2 Sibling 3 2 2 Satkiran 1 Sibling 7 2 1.5 1.5 2 1.5 2 Sibling 12 2 Simran 2 Dilpreet 2 Sibling 2 Sibling 2 Gender 117 th th th th st th rd th th nd th th th 8 th th Table 4.5 (cont’d) Family Name of Child Additional Jasmeet Family Shaleen (Girls’ Sibling FG) Sibling Gen. nd Age (yrs.) 17 14 Female Female Participated in Education Level Study Focus Group Taking assoc. credits Focus Group Sophomore-HS nd 5 Female No Preschool nd 5 Male No Preschool 1.5 2 2 2 Gender 4.5.2. Grandparents in the families Many families mentioned having day-to-day presence of their parents and in-laws in their lives and their importance in their grandchildren’s life. There are many elderly people in the community, but I did not interview all the families for reasons of eligibility and feasibility in some cases. I will present the role of grandparents in their grandchildren’s lives in the coming sections, but in the following section, I present the information on how many participating families had grandparents’ presence in their day-to-day life. Table 4.6 presents the information th of grandparents in each family. Please note that I have included the additional 13 family, whose two daughters participated in the girls’ focus group. Table 4.6 illustrates that there were at least 5 families, whose paternal grandparents were living in the United States. Kartar Singh’s father, Joginder Singh, who also participated in the focus group of the elderly people (family 1), came in 2006 when his son sponsored his papers. He lived with his son’s families for 2-3 months till he found his job in Derby, a close by town. Joginder Singh travels on every weekend from Derby to Riverton to see his grandchildren and to visit Riverton Gurdwara. He stays with his son’s family on the weekends. He also participates actively in Gurdwara activities and management with other elderly people in the community. 118 However, Kartar Singh’s elderly mother came to live in Riverton years back, but chose to go back to India to live with her younger son. Kartar Singh told in his interview, She [mother] doesn’t like here because she doesn’t speak English. She came here once. She feels lonely. Everybody goes to work and she stays at home. She feels home sick. She decided that she would go back to live with my brother. She came here but she went back and she decided never to come back to the United States. The maternal grandparents in the family 1 also live in a close by town and travel every Sunday to visit the Riverton Gurdwara and to see their grandchildren. On some weekends, Amandeep Kaur goes with her children to visit Nana Nani (Maternal Grandparents). Manjit Singh’s parents (family 2) live in Riverton in the same household where Manjit Singh lives with his wife Bhupinder Kaur and three children. Hukum Singh, Manjit Singh’s father, who holds a respectable position in the Gurdwara organizing committee and participated in initial focus group and grandparents’ focus group, came in 1986 to New York. He sponsored his son and other family members. Manjit Singh came to New York before other family members. Hukum Singh’s wife, Rajo Kaur, with her two daughters joined her husband and son in New York after 7 years of separation. Their older daughter, Kanwal Kaur (family 6), who was also a participant of the study, came directly to Riverton with her husband in 2004, when Hukum Singh sponsored her family. Hukum Singh and Rajo Kaur take a lot of responsibility in cleaning and managing the Gurdwara activities on Sundays. Hukum Singh also purchases all the needed groceries for Sunday’s community lunch, langar. He also takes care of all the Gurdwara bills and accounts. After each Sunday service before langar, he makes announcements for forthcoming events and encourages people to participate; he also encourages people to have their children participate in the Gurdwara activities such as prayers and special activities around festivals. Both 119 husband and wife also actively participate in organizing special festive events at the Gurdwara. Their middle daughter lives in New York with her family. Their youngest daughter, Jasleen Kaur (family 11), also lives in Riverton with her husband and two sons. Kanwal’s and Jasleen’s parent-in-laws live in India with their other sons and families. However, Jasleen’s father-in-law died recently. Table 4.6. Grandparents in Participants’ Families Interview Family 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Paternal Grandparents Grandparent Where Profession Father Derby Factory Mother India Housewife Father Riverton Retired Mother Riverton Housewife Father Riverton-6 months Retired Mother Riverton-6 months Housewife Father India Farmer Mother India Housewife Father Deceased NA Mother Riverton Housewife Father India Farmer Mother India Housewife Father India Farmer Mother India Housewife Father Deceased NA Mother Riverton Housewife Father India Farmer Mother India Housewife Father Deceased NA Mother India Housewife Father Deceased NA Mother India Housewife Father Deceased NA Mother India Housewife 120 Maternal Grandparents Where Profession Jones, US Retired Jones, US Housewife NY Retired NY Housewife Deceased NA India Housewife India Farmer India Housewife India Farmer India Housewife Riverton Retired Riverton Housewife Canada Salesman Canada Housewife India Farmer India Housewife India Farmer India Housewife India Farmer India Housewife Riverton Retired Riverton Housewife Deceased NA NY Housewife Bhupinder Kaur’s parents live in New York with their son and family. She visits them with her children in summer vacations. Although Hukum Singh is retired now, sometimes he helps his son at the store. “My father comes but for a short time during the day—he mostly takes care of bank and other transactions. Sometimes he also helps at stores, but not much”, said Manjit Singh. Prabhjeet Singh’s parents (family 3) were present at the time of his interview. I did not see them coming to the Gurdwara on regular basis. They come to Riverton for 6 months and live in India for another 6 months. His father also used to help him at his store, but he retired couple of years ago. Chann’s father died in an accident couple of years back in India. Her mother lives in India with her brother. In family 4, both paternal and maternal grandparents live in India. They own lands and their main profession is farming. The father in family 4, Rajinder Singh has his older siblings living in the area, Sukhvir Singh and Sarabjeet Kaur. The paternal grandparents came to the United States to live with them, but due to health issues they returned back. Moreover, the grandmother had more connections in India and did not like to live in the United States. However, the paternal grandparents were planning to come back soon at the time of my interview with the family. Pardeep Singh (family 5) and Ranveer Singh (family 8) are brothers. Their father died many years ago. Their mother lives with them in two different households. The mother visits the Gurdwara with her daughter-in-laws once in a while—she has many issues, so she doesn’t visit the Gurdwara as frequently as other elderly people visit. Sometimes the mother visits her middle son, who lives in New York and her daughter, who lives in Riverton. The maternal grandparents in both of these families live in India and work in farming. Ravinder Singh’s older brother (family 13 father) also lives in the same neighborhood. Their parents live 121 in India. Ravinder Singh’s wife’s parents live in a major city in Canada. In family 9 and 10, both sets of grandparents live in India. 4.5.Our Small Village: Riverton The families that participated in the study (including interviews and focus groups) were living in three different neighborhoods in Riverton: 1) East Side of the city, 2) Central Riverside, and 3) West Side of the city. Most families (N=9) live in Central Riverside. “There are 12-15 Sikh families, who live in this neighborhood alone; it feels like I am in my village”, said Guneet, who moved to their house in 2004 from their apartment. Two families live in East side of the city—the neighborhood has more diversity in terms of race and ethnicity. The education and income levels of residents are higher than Central and West Side Riverton. Four families live in West side of the city. Table 4.7. Riverton Neighborhoods of Participants Participant Family Husband 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13* 14* 15* *Focus group families Kartar S Manjit S Prabhjeet S Rajinder S Pardeep S Satinder S Ravinder S Ranveer S Deepinder S Amanveer S Baldev S Dalbir S Sanjeet S Sukhvir S Devinder S Wife Amandeep K Bhupinder K Chann K Guneet K Harjot K Kanwal K Komalpreet K Gurpreet K Sarabjeet K Harkiran K Jasleen K Simran K Gurleen K Paramjeet K Preet K 122 Neighborhood East Side West Side East Side Central Riverton Central Riverton West Side Central Riverton Central Riverton Central Riverton Central Riverton West Side West Side Central Riverton Central Riverton Central Riverton The families, who live in East Side of the city, interact with other non-Sikh Indians, Americans, and other ethnic families through special neighborhood interaction programs or children’s friends in the neighborhood. Prabhjeet Singh and Kartar Singh are also in the professions that demand interactions with out-group members. The Central Riverton residents in the study noted that they were aware of presence of Vietnamese, African American, and other American families in their neighborhood, but they just interact on greetings terms with them and only if they see them. When I asked Guneet Kaur if she knew her neighbors, she responded, “Not to the extent that we know our Punjabi families. But when we see them we say ‘hello’.” Harkiran Kaur, who lives in the same neighborhood added, “Sometimes we say hello hi to each other when we see each other—we do not make special efforts to go and seek.” However, Sarabjeet Kaur from the same neighborhood noted, “Vietnamese, Indonesians, interracial couples, Moroccans—our neighborhood is diverse. People are nice—they smile at each other. It is a very safe neighborhood. We have never heard of any crime here.” In the West side neighborhood, men in the families were more aware of the other neighborhood residents than women. Jasleen Kaur, who lives in the West Side of the city mentioned, I have no idea who lives in our neighborhood. I never felt a need to interact with others in my neighborhood. We have a big family here. My husband’s two brothers and families, my sister and family, my brother and family, and then my parents—I never felt any need to know who else was living in my neighborhood. But I know there are Blacks and Whites—we say hello when we see them, but I have never asked what country they are from. The families living in these three neighborhoods are related to each other, specifically people living in Central and West Side of Riverton (see Figure 4.4). Regarding the relationship network 123 among the participating families (Figure 4.4), some families reported that their parents played a major role in deciding where they would build their houses. At least two participants noted that their parents (grandparents) influenced their decision to settle down close to their siblings or cousins so that the old parents can meet all their children without much traveling. Manjit Singh shared about his father Hukum Singh, He is a real binding force among us. He always wanted us to live as a joint family. You see here also in America, we are all living together. He never wanted me, his daughter-in-law, or grandkids to live separately from him and my mom. And it is a true blessing for us, specially my children who get all the love from their grandparents. Kanwal Kaur, Manjit Singh’s sister added about their father, “he is like a string that keeps all pearls together. Like he tries to keep all his family members together—he likes the same (unity) for the community.” Gurpreet Kaur reiterated the same about her mother-in-law, who wanted the two brothers to buy homes in the same neighborhood, So when the owners of my current house left, mom [mother-in-law] suggested that it would be nice if both brothers have their houses close to each other, so that she doesn’t have to drive—she could visit both houses by walking. So we bought this house—the person (previous owner) stayed only for 6 months in this house. They were White people—mom said that we should buy this house. Amandeep Kaur’s parents who live in Jones, a close by town wanted all their children (Amandeep’s siblings) to settle around each other, so that they could visit all of them alternatively. In the next section, I will talk about extended family members, support and conflicts in families and the context of the Gurdwara in the community 124 Figure 4.4. Relationships among the Study Participants For interpretation of the references to color in this and all other figures, the reader is referred to the electronic version of this dissertation Siblings Cousins Women Interview Women Focus Group Participant Men Interview Spouse Men Focus Group Adult Children 125 Participant 4.6. Extended Family Members: Riverton The definition of ‘family’ is different among the study participants than the common notion of nuclear families in the United States. Family, for Sikhs, meant anybody who is blood related to them. For example, for Manjit, the definition of “family” would be his wife, children, parents, and sisters. The participants used “family” in much broader sense throughout the interviews. The elders are not called by their names, according to Indian culture. All adult men who are older than you, except the spouse and parents, are addressed as Bhaisahib (a term used for older brother). All adult women who are not related to a person as mother, sister, or spouse, irrespective of their age, are addressed as Pehanji or Didi (sister) or Phabhiji (sister-in-law). The notion of “community as family” derives from the ritual of their Sunday community lunches, langar, at Gurdwara. One rationale of having the community lunch is to instill the value of seeing the community as their own family. Throughout the interviews and the focus groups, the participants noted the constant presence of their relatives and extended family members in the same city or in various cities in the United States and Canada. Many participants mentioned to have their parents, siblings, and other extended family members in India. Other participants, whose parents and most of their immediate and extended family members are in the U.S. and Canada, noted to maintain ties with India through neighbors or distant relatives. Almost all the participants in the study noted that they receive various supports from their family members. 4.6.1. Family Supports The families in the study supported each other in settling down. The men helped each other and newcomers to find stores for the newcomers. At least 3 families noted that they stayed at others’ houses for first 15-30 days until they found a place to live. Many bought stores in partnerships, “My sister-in-law and her husband came to Riverton before us. Her husband bought 126 the [name of store] in partnership with Sukhvir Singh. Then he established himself here”, said Gurpreet Kaur in her interview. Guneet Kaur added, I found Riverton quite interesting and we had lots of relatives here. My husband’s older brother and his family are here. His older sister lives very close by. She lives in the same colony (neighborhood). In fact she was the one who helped us move to Riverton. The men also cover for each other at their stores, when one has to go on family vacations. “My brother and I work together. We have two stores, although in two different areas, still we help each other. If I have to go with my family for vacation, he looks after my store as well”, said Pardeep Singh. The families also look after each other’s children, when any parent (mostly mothers in these cases because fathers are away at work) is sick or away for some work. One child in the study, Dilpreet Singh, whose mother died when he was 9, is being taken care of by his paternal uncles’ wife, Jasleen Kaur, who has two sons, 13 and 11. Dilpreet plays with them after school at their home. Recently Dilpreet also went to visit India to see his grandparents with Auntie Jasleen Kaur and his two cousins. Komalpreet Kaur also sent her children to visit India with their aunt, because she and her husband couldn’t go. Many families also reported to look after each other in illness and when someone’s family is away for their India visit. “When I had a minor surgery recently, I did not have to cook at all for my family members. The food would come from all of our neighboring families”, said Harkiran Kaur. “Since Paramjeet Bhabi (sister-in-law) has gone to India and Sukhvir Singh Bhaisahib (brother) is around, we take turns to cook food for him”, said Guneet Kaur. When I was setting up interviews with some of the participants, I came to know that most people were busy during the week because Pardeep Singh’s mother was sick and hospitalized, so either 127 people were visiting her in the hospital or cooking food for the family. When someone is sick or needs help, often times Hukum Singh announces in Gurdwara and appeals people to help the family. I attended at least two ceremonies during my study at the participants’ home. The host always received a big help from other community members in transporting people, buying groceries, helping to cook, serving food, and cleaning dishes and kitchen after the food was served. The old people in these gatherings would sit and supervise—only parents and their children would work. In my observation in the Gurdwara during my visits, the families seemed harmonious; however, many families noted some conflicts with their family member, which makes the picture of families complete because family supports and family conflicts are not mutually exclusive. 4.6.2. Family Conflicts As Pardeep Singh put it, “Initially my sister and brother-in-law supported. Now we are not at very good terms. But you know this is how family is—sometimes good sometimes bad. No family is free of some conflicts.” These families were not free of conflicts either. The conflicts in these families were around two major issues: 1) Business/Properties, and 2) Family Obligations. Conflicts around business/properties. At least two families reported having conflicts over properties and businesses shared with other family members. Chann Kaur talked about her husband’s aunt and family, who live in the same area, with whom they are not on talking terms, It’s been a year that she [aunt] is not talking with us. She is angry with us because she was running into some issues [in their business that we shared] and thinks that we are responsible for that. She loved me a lot. I really used to like her. She 128 misses me and I miss her. But you know the problems are at a higher level than just two of us.” Prabhjeet Singh did not take any specific names, but when I asked about the supports that people from his community provide him, he said, “They are jealous of my accomplishments. You are talking about support? Why I started this new business? How can I make such a big and wonderful house? They do not like it.” Prabhjeet Singh’s wife, Chann Kaur, also reported people having jealousy among each other. When I told her that everybody looked like in a perfect harmony in the Gurdwara, she added, “That’s God’s house. Obviously we are at our best behaviors there.” After her interview, I noticed that this family did not interact much with rest of the attendees in the Gurdwara, not even during the langars, where everyone chats with each other while eating food. Chann Kaur also blamed her overly busy life for not meeting many people from her community outside of the Gurdwara. Gurpreet Kaur and Harjot Kaur, both noted the conflict that their husbands had with their sister-in-law and brother-in-law, who allegedly took Ranveer Singh’s (Gurpreet Kaur’s husband) signatures on the property papers saying that he gifted one of his stores to his sister. Gurpreet Kaur further added, “We trusted them. We had a shooting in front of our store. My husband gave the power of attorney to my brother-in-law and he cheated with us.” Some other families mentioned to divide businesses, but it was not clear whether it was a step towards progress or it happened due to conflicts. Family Obligations. Gurpreet Kaur, whose brother-in-law took advantage of her husband in business, remembered “ I have done a lot for the family and my own family members cheated my husband in their business.”. She further said, 129 Both my brother-in-laws used to live with us. I used to work a lot—cooking, laundry, ironing. I have been married for 21 years now. Both my brother-in-laws were not married when I came as a bride to their house. I was the one who got those married, worked, and spent money. When family does that, it feels bad. Dalbir Singh, whose wife died of cancer about a year ago, reported conflicts with her daughter and his extended family members. Please note that the daughter, whom I interviewed as a proxy for mother, did not report her conflict with her father. However, she mentioned having issues around growing up as a Sikh girl with her parents’ stringent rules. Dalbir Singh and his older son stopped going to the Gurdwara and meeting the community members after his wife’s passing. He feels betrayed by his community, Nobody supports me. Since my wife left [died], no one has come and asked, ‘Dalbir Singh, have you had food? How are you doing without your wife? How are you holding up? How are my kids doing? Nobody is concerned. No one comes to see us since she died. He wanted his then 19 years old daughter, Simran, to get married before his wife died. Simran refused to get married as per their wish. He said, Simran knew about my wife’s situation that she wouldn’t survive. You know when you have cancer; doctors tell you that your person would survive only for these many days. We wanted her to get married and she was 19 at that time. We also asked her because we wanted my wife to see her daughter getting married. We also looked for a suitable groom. She did not listen to us. You know how it happens in India—it was a special request that we all made—you know how kids sacrifice some of their things when they know that the parents are dying or there 130 is a special circumstance. My wife could have seen her getting married. She might have somebody in her mind already, but I did not know anything about it. Maybe her mom knew it before me, but I did not. I came to know about it later. But I am still angry at her that she did not listen to us. During the interview when he started getting agitated about his daughter, I requested him to calm down, he further added, My wife left without seeing any happy ritual in this family. She [Simran] was making all kinds of excuses at that time, ’I have to take care of my younger brother. I have to take care of daddy.’ Damn with her taking care. She doesn’t even bother about my food and anything. She doesn’t take care of younger son [Dilpreet Singh] as she had committed to her mother. Dalbir Singh during his last trip to India got remarried to a girl, who is still in India. Now the conflict in the extended family also aggravated because of his remarriage. His older brother has stopped talking with him. In the next section, I will discuss the community place, Gurdwara, where these families come on Sundays and socialize during the community lunch, langar. Even though there were conflicts in some of the families, these conflicts were never apparent in the Gurdwara. The Riverton Gurdwara played a central role in lives of these families. 131 4.7. The Heart of Our Village: Riverton Gurdwara The Sikh families (including that were not the part of the study) started coming to Riverton in 1997. More people arrived between 1999 and 2001. The families in the community started feeling a need of a central worship place that could help them remain close to their religion and culture. “Our kids were growing up. We wanted them to know the religion”, said Sukhvir Singh. Hukum Singh, who arrived with his son Manjit Singh and his family, was a religious minded person. He started taking some steps in the direction of having a central place for people to meet and worship. Deepinder Singh, who actively participates in the Gurdwara activities, remembered that people from Riverton used to go a close by town, Derby, on a monthly basis to attend Gurdwara and it used to be a time consuming activity. We used to go once in a month…whoever had time on that weekend. We used to go as individual families, not as a group in bus. You know if we had to go to Derby for any Sunday, we used to keep 5-6 hours in our account. So not everyone used to go to those trips. You need time from 10 in the morning till 4 in the evening. He further thanked for the presence of the Gurdwara in the Riverton area now, Here [in Riverton] if you can take out 2 hours, that’s good enough. So it’s a blessing that we have our own Gurdwara for about 7 years now. Before the Riverton Gurdwara was established in 2004 with the efforts of community people in the leadership of Sr. Hukum Singh, he took an initiative in 2002 to start a Gurdwara in a space next to his son, Manjit Singh’s store. The Gurdwara used to be next door, next to my store before. We ran it for 2 years here and then we collected money through donations and then we bought the 132 building where the current Gurdwara Sahib is today. My dad had a great contribution in that (Manjit Singh). In the same year that the Gurdwara Sahib established in the Riverton area, Hukum Singh met with the city officials in the city and asked for the permission to start an annual community parade. Manjit Singh shared proudly, Seven years back, with my dad’s persistent efforts that he took with the city officials, we started this Sikh day parade in the Riverton area. Even a big city like Springfield did not have this kind of parade until this year. And in a small city th Riverton, this is our 7 year of organizing the Sikh Day parade that walks through the downtown. And we showcase our religion and Sikh history and culture. The Riverton Gurdwara is housed in a two floor building. Outside the building is a big parking lot and the property is fenced from all the sides, leaving a gate for cars to enter in the property. There is also a big grassy field next to the parking lot. The building is handicap accessible. As soon as people enter into the Gurdwara, there is a small rack to hang the coats; in a basket on the bench, there are triangular yellow scarfs that have a religious symbol (khanda) on the front line, for anyone who doesn’t bring their own scarf. The first level also has a place to take off shoes before entering into the prayer room—there are shoe-racks to put the shoes. Taking off shoes and covering head before entering into the prayer room are signs of respect. There is also a sink to wash the hands after the person takes off the shoes and wear the scarf. On the second floor, there is a prayer hall. The hall is divided into three major parts; the front part, where in the center there is an altar decorated with ornate palki (the seat), where the Holy Book, the Guru Granth Sahib, rests. Over the palki, there is a Chandoa, a decorated canopy. During the services, men take turn 133 to go behind the palki, and use chaor (a fan made with white fine hair) to fan the palki. In ancient times, the kings used to have this kind of treatment by their people. Similarly, Sikhs pay respect to their Holy Book, the Guru Granth Sahib, by treating the book in a royal way. The left side of the front part has a small sleeping room; after the evening prayers the priest brings the Guru Granth Sahib to that room because the Holy Book is treated as alive. There is also a wash basin next to that room. People who take turns to fan the book wash their hands before they go behind the palki. The Gurdwara staff members also wash their hands before distributing the Prasad (which is made of semolina, clarified butter, and sugar) after the services. On the right hand side, there is a small stage, where the senior priest, Shamsher Singh and two younger priests sit and sing during the service. The rest of the hall, where people attend the services while sitting on the carpet, has been divided into two parts: One part is designated to women, young children, and girls seating and the other part is designated to men and older boys. There is a carpet in the center that leads people to the center where the palki is situated. The sequence that people follow after entering into the prayer room is to go in front of palki, bow their heads, donate some money if they wish to, and find a seat on the carpet on either side of the hall. The lower level of the Gurdwara has a kitchen, a dining hall, a pantry, 3 bathrooms, and a place for the priests to live. Hukum Singh and Sukhvir Singh, both arranged a priest in the Gurdwara, commonly referred to as “Babaji or Bhaiji” by people who come to Gurdwara. Shamsher Singh, the priest of the Gurdwara, does not belong to the same state as these families belong; he is from a Northern Hindi speaking state in India. He went to college for 4 years and learned Punjabi and Gurbani. Shamsher Singh, along with his son, Raman Singh, son-in-law, Gurvinder Singh, and a distant relative, lives in the basement of the Riverton Gurdwara. All four men use the Gurdwara kitchen from Tuesday to Saturday to cook their food. On Sundays, women from the community come in 134 and prepare langar food. They leave enough food for these four men that lasts for two days. Sometimes in the middle of the week, if there is a festival or celebration at the Gurdwara, some women come in and prepare food for these men. Shamsher Singh’s wife and daughter live in India. He came along with his son and sonin-law to establish them first so that they could sponsor the other family members. Shamsher Singh’s wife and daughter have selected a girl in India for Raman Singh. All three men are planning to visit India for the wedding. Raman Singh plays tabla (an Indian percussion instrument), his father, Shamsher Singh sings the religious hymns from the sacred Guru Granth Sahib while playing harmonium, and Gurvinder Singh accompanies them with his harmonium during the Sunday service. They also visit Sikh families that come to the Gurdwara, if there are special events at their houses. 4.7.1. A Typical Sunday at Riverton Gurdwara Hukum Singh with his wife, Rajo Kaur, and other elderly people in the community come at around 9 a.m. in the morning. They clean the Gurdwara—its floors, kitchen, bathrooms, main dining hall, and the upper prayer hall. It is considered as a sewa to Guru Ghar (Service to God’s home). It takes them about an hour to finish all the cleaning. The volunteers from the community volunteer ahead of time in taking the responsibility of langar, the community lunch each Sunday—it is also considered as a part of service. People sponsor the Sunday lunch for various reasons—their children’s or grandchildren’s birth, birthdays, marriages, wedding anniversaries, new jobs for their children, new house, or anything that is of immense importance to them. “On an average, each year, each person volunteers twice to sponsor these lunch. The person asks Sr. Hukum Singh to write their name and deposits $400 to the Gurdwara organizing committee funds. Sr. Hukum Singh, with the Gurdwara 135 staff, goes to do groceries with the money for langar and the remaining funds go to the Gurdwara funds for its management and other activities (Devinder Singh).” Each Sunday, women from the family, who has sponsored the lunch for that very day, come early in the morning at around 8:00 a.m. They cook all the dishes except chapattis in the Gurdwara kitchen. At this time they knead the dough for the chapattis. Sometimes women who are friends to them or related to them come along with this family and help in preparing the lunch. At this time, they also make breakfast and tea for visitors in the Gurdwara. These women also make Prasad for that very day; this Prasad is being distributed after each Sunday service. They also wash the large dishes that they use to cook food before they leave back for home. The elderly people in the community start coming at around 9:00 a.m. At this time they clean the Gurdwara. After cleaning the upper hall, one of these people takes the Prasad upstairs, covered with aluminum foil, to be offered to the Holy Book, the Guru Granth Sahib first. The Prasad remains seated in front of the book during the three hours of the service. The Gurdwara staff members start the prayers at around 11 a.m. They chant Gurbani for about an hour followed by Keertan (religious songs) for about 1.5 hours. The Gurbani and Keertan are displayed on a big screen attached to the wall on right side of the hall. English translation is displayed on the screen for children who can’t read Punjabi. People come inside the prayer hall—they kneel on the floor and bow their heads in front of the palki and donate money in the donation box next to the palki. Sometimes people make their donations to Hukum Singh, who is the secretary of the Gurdwara organizing committee. The women in the community start coming at around 11 a.m. with their children to the Gurdwara. They are dressed with colorful clothes and gold jewelry. As one of the participants, Chann Kaur, put it, 136 I take out my best clothes to wear on Sunday. I wear all my jewelry, put my makeup and I go to Gurdwara. You might have seen that all ladies come in their best dresses there. They come on their best clothes, jewelry, and makeup. That’s their one day when they want to look best. We should not be like that. When you come to Gurdwara, you should come simple dressed—you are here to listen to Gurbani and not to do a fashion show. But ladies take advantage of this time. They like to show their dresses to other ladies in the community and obviously expect some compliments from them—that’s the main motif to do that (laughing). Chann Kaur compares Indian Gurdwaras with the Gurdwaras in the United States. Studies show that role of religious organizations change after migration—the religious organizations are not limited to serving only religious purposes, they also serve sociocultural purposes within immigrant communities (Yang & Ebaugh, 2001). Women, who arrive at around 11 a.m., after bowing their heads to the palki, go downstairs and have their tea and snacks. After the brief refreshment, they start making chapattis irrespective of who is the sponsor of the langar that very day. This is also considered as Sewa (service). At this time, they talk about children, husbands, relatives, neighbors, dresses, jewelry, and deals in the malls in Riverton. At one time at least 8-10 women make chapattis, dividing their work into making balls, rolling chapattis, putting them on stove, heating, and cooking it on direct flames. Sometimes their adolescent daughters help them in putting butter to the cooked chapattis and packing them in aluminum foil to serve later. At this time, their young children play in the basement; sometimes they run upstairs when their mothers are busy. Other times these mothers assign the responsibility of taking care of young children to older siblings while 137 they are helping other women to make chapattis. Usually women and children, who live in the same neighborhood, carpool to come to the Gurdwara. During the time when women and children are busy downstairs, the Keertan goes on upstairs. In the basement, there are speakers attached to the dining room. The women who make chapattis can listen to the Keertan and Paath that Shamsher Singh sings upstairs. They come upstairs before the Keertan is over. During the Keertan, 2-3 people, usually elderly people, volunteer to clean and organize people’s shoes sitting in the shoe-rack—it is considered as a part of sewa (service) to the Gurdwara and the community. After the Keertan, Hukum Singh makes announcements for forthcoming events and requests people to participate in various religious and cultural events. Sometimes he humbly requests the women to mind their young children who run up and down during the service hours. During the announcement, the Gurdwara staff members distribute the Prasad among the people who are in the main hall. Young children in the community distribute napkins right before the Prasad is being distributed. People use both their hands to take the Prasad, which is another way of showing the respect to the Gurdwara Sahib. At this time, sometimes Sukhvir Singh, the president of the Gurdwara Organizing Committee honor people by putting a yellow sacred scarf around people’s shoulders—these include either a mother of new born baby, a person who has raised money for the Gurdwara, a person in the community who has achieved his/her goal. But this activity happens only on special occasions. Following the announcements and the Prasad distribution, the main priest, Shamsher Singh offers prayers to the palki on the community’s behalf and requests everyone humbly to have food before leaving. Following this everyone including all the Gurdwara staff members except the main priest go to the dining hall. People sit on the carpeted floor and wait to be served. Men from the sponsoring family help in serving the food. Children from the family help in distributing 138 disposable plates, silverware, napkins. Gurvinder Singh, the Gurdwara staff member, chants words of praise for Guru, while helping the family serve the food. People repeat the same words after him. All people in the dining hall get their plates and one serving of food before everyone can start. Gurvinder Singh makes the final chant—after which people can start eating their lunch. People take chapattis with both their hands—it is considered as a sign of respect to the food that they are eating. Often times people from different groups (Whites, African Americans, and nonnd rd th Sikh Indians) come and eat food at the Gurdwara. The servers ask for 2 , 3 , and 4 servings to people. During the lunch, people talk among each other about various topics—women about families, men about business, elderly men about politics in India, and children about friends and their schools. In the meantime when most people eat their lunch downstairs, Hukum Singh and the main priest with other men in the organizing committee sit upstairs in the prayer hall to discuss about funds and future activities. They come downstairs to have their lunch when most people are about done. Men and women often help elderly and sick people to dispose their plates after they are done eating. Two or three men in the community volunteer to throw the trash after the lunch. At this time, many women and adolescent girls volunteer to wash the dishes used in serving food. The Gurdwara kitchen also stocks to-go boxes for people who want to take food for the family members who could not come to Gurdwara due to their work, studies, sickness, or simply any reason. Many times the sponsoring families packed lunch for my son, who used to stay at home. After packing food, people start leaving for their homes. Sometimes they talk with each other for a long time before going back to the parking lot. Once they are out in the parking lot, everyone including men and boys who do not wear turbans remove their head scarfs. Many women, whose husbands and adolescent sons work at their stores at that time, drop lunch for 139 them at the stores on their way back home. The Riverton Gurdwara serves different purposes to different age groups, besides holding the community together and serving spirituality. The elderly people in the community, many retired now, find the Gurdwara as a place and activities in the Gurdwara as a way to engage them in spiritual development, which is considered as an important developmental stage in the life span of Indians, known as Vridha-Ashram (Singh, 2005). They also meet their elderly peers, which difficult to do during the weeks, when they are limited in their homes either due to lack of driving skills or due to their time spent in taking care of their grandchildren. Many men talk about business and use Sunday as an opportunity to socialize with their peers, which they may not see on weekly basis due to their over demanding working hours. Many women in the study, who live in the same neighborhood, noted that they find opportunities to see each other outside of the Gurdwara, but they are not able to see everyone. They use Sunday service as an opportunity to see each other. Adolescent children also mingle with each other. Young children play with each other in the Gurdwara. In the next chapter, I will talk in more details about the purpose that the Riverton Gurdwara serves for the community children. 140 CHAPTER 5 FINDINGS: PARENT SOCIALIZATION PRACTICES OF RIVERTON SIKH This chapter is divided into two main sections: 1) Parents’ expectations for their children, 2) Religious and cultural socialization. The parents in Riverton started to expand their families after coming from New York City. A little less than half of the children in the participating families were born in the Riverton area. At the time of interviews, most of them were going to elementary, middle, and high schools. Some adolescents were taking associate credits at Riverton Community College. One of the important reasons to settle down in the Riverton area was to find a good place to raise children, where their children could go to good schools. In the next section, I will present findings on parents’ expectations for their children. 5.1. Parents’ Expectations for their Children I asked the parents about their expectations that they had from their children as they were growing up in the United States. The parents in the study shared their expectations around various areas, such as 1) educational attainment, 2) career and job aspirations, 3) cultural competence, 4) behavioral expectations, 5) growing up with minimum discrimination, 6) dating behaviors, and 7) religious expectations. The gender differences in expectations in the areas such as educational attainment, career and job aspirations, behavioral, and dating issues, will be illustrated under each section. The parents in the study talked more generally about expectations around cultural competence, discrimination, and religion, without emphasizing gender issues. 141 5.1.1. Expectations: Educational Attainment Almost all the parents mentioned that they wanted their children to attain their college education. Many parents, both fathers and mothers, noted that they would like their children to get an education and find jobs and would not like for them to work at the family stores. Harkiran Kaur, a mother of two sons, where the older one was going to college and the younger son was in high school, said that she and her husband would like them to finish their college education first. She noted that her husband, Amanveer Singh, was even more enthusiastic about their children’s education, “He expects them to graduate from college. Actually he is stricter about them getting their education than I am. I was missing my son when he left for college.” Amanveer Singh shared that he talks with his children about education a lot, I tell them, ‘go and get your education; otherwise you will be working very hard like us. Educated people work smart; uneducated, like us, work hard.’ So, I tell them to work hard towards their education, so that you can get a good job. Otherwise you’ll be like us (store owners). Another father, Deepinder Singh, who emphasize the value of education among his three sons to make their future better than their father, noted, I call a class for them every week to tell them about the hard work that I had done. I always tell them that the work that I am doing is not too great to sustain yourself well. So, get education and find good jobs for yourself. At least you will work only 5 days a week, 8 hours a day, with weekends off. I tell them that I work 7 days a week, 12-13 hours a day to afford this comfort and they can do better than me. And you get leave benefits and health benefits with state or federal jobs. I have to buy everything on my own. No matter how I work (at store), it is never 142 sufficient. I could stay whole night there if I want to, but there is no limit to how much time you can invest in this type of work. That’s why I tell them to get education and state jobs. In business, you are always stuck. He further added, I want them to get their education and find a job. I do not want them to get their money hard way as I have to do that. And I do not want them to get tired all the time as I feel with this hard work. There were at least three fathers in the study, who on the one hand want their children to get education and work hard so that they do not have to take over the family business, but on the other hand they also warn their children, “if you do not get your education, you will work at the family store (Ranveer Singh).” Pardeep Singh also resonated, I want all my children to get good education so that they do not have to work hard like I am working. However, if they do not work hard enough to get jobs, they still have to work hard to work on my store (laughing). Pardeep Singh’s wife, Harjot Kaur, doesn’t want her children to work at stores. She would like them to see finish their education. She said, Education wise, everyone expects the high standards. They should study well, get education, become independent, and go out of this labor type business and job that their dad and I are doing. We are working this way because we are not well educated and even if I have some college, American standards of education are higher than me. I will get the jobs that only a high school pass out (graduate) will get here. So, I expect that they should not think about having their convenience stores as some of older children doing in our community. 143 The decision of the two families in the study of living on the East Side of the city was influenced by better choices of school in that area. Amandeep Kaur, the most educated mother in the study, and a resident of East Side of the city, articulated her aspirations for her son, Paramjot, I want them to have very successful career. I want them to establish themselves. They can as many hobbies that they want to have. Like he can cook or go to NBA if he wants to. I am up for it—go for it…but have a single established career first that feeds you well. For that he needs to study hard, do well in school, get a degree, and go to college so that he can get a reasonable job. That is my biggest expectation from him. Satinder Singh, a father of two boys, takes pride in his older son’s accomplishments, who is working on his college degree in engineering in the New York City. Satinder Singh has paid his tuition in full. However, the son is driving city cab to earn money for the living expenses. His younger son, Satkiran, is taking associate credits from Riverton Community College. Kanwal Kaur, Satinder Singh’s wife, is also proud of her sons’ accomplishments and attributes their good educational background from India for their successes, “Before coming here, we always sent them to good English medium school [in India], and so they did very well in schools here.” th th Jasleen Kaur, a mother of two boys, an 8 grader and a 5 grader, feels that her sons are doing well in school, “They are good at their studies. I am pleased with how they are doing in school.” Simran Kaur, Dilpreet’s adult sister, whom I interviewed as a proxy for her mother, is not satisfied with his educational performance in school, Dilpreet knows his subjects well, but is being careless. I wish he could concentrate more in school like, he is like I gave my best but kinds of reports that 144 I am getting--they are not satisfying. He is getting those Bs and Cs and I’m like, ‘Yeah, these are not the scores that I am expecting’.” Simran is taking associate credits at Riverton Community College in Nursing. She, after her mother’s death last year is responsible for taking care of the household, “I struggle to keep a balance between my work at home, my college, my homework, Dilpreet’s homework. It is just crazy for me.” She has high educational expectations from her brother. Simran is worried that her father, Dalbir Singh, is planning to take Dilpreet back to India for him to stay with their new mother and grandmother. Dalbir Singh said, I want him to get motivated for his education. I do not think he can learn that in American schools. Moreover, I want him to learn some Indian ways. I do not want him to turn like my older kids. I have seen my older kids going bad in this country. Simran Kaur wants Dilpreet to get his education because she doesn’t want him to end up working at their father’s convenience store. She gave example of other community children, I want him to do well in school. I do not want him to like other kids in our community, going to school, college and then ended up handling the store business. I want him to do something out of these stores. That’s what I have been hoping for. I want him to do well in school and become something, like I am trying to make something out of my life. I do not want him to be like other kids in our community—not getting good grades in school and working on their dads’ stores. This is a very common trend in our community. Guneet Kaur, whose son Onkar was diagnosed as ADHD and whose 3 slow in reading, wants her children to work hard in school, 145 rd grade daughter is also I want my children to do well in school, although my son has severe reading problems in school, as a mother, I would like to say that they both should study hard, become independent people, shouldn’t rely on people when they grow up. Onkar’s father, Rajinder Singh, also added, Onkar is very energetic and active; I want him to be safe. I do not know if Guneet has told you that Onkar has been diagnosed with ADHD, so given that, if he can do high school or college, he can take care of my business after that. He doesn’t have to worry about college if he doesn’t want to. I feel that he is very fragile, so whatever he can accomplish, I will be happy. One of the participants articulated his expectations, “bring us fame by becoming something, make us proud by doing well in your education and career…I think these are expectations of every parents in any generation (Baldev Singh).” The parents in the study also articulated their expectations in terms of what they would like their children to become. Most parents in the study articulated two important philosophies about their children’s future that are grounded in their religion and culture,, where it has been emphasized that 1) one should live in the present without worrying or predicting much about future, and 2) one should try his/her best and leave the rest to God .When these parents talked about how their children are doing educationally and culturally, in most cases, their responses were, “He is doing well so far. What can I say about future?” or “We are trying our best to provide our children best. Rest we leave on God.” From a Western point of view, these kinds of statement may sound like ‘lack of control in one’s life’ or ‘lack of confidence about future’, but it is deeply rooted in Indian traditional culture, where people believed that there are some things that cannot be controlled and ‘should be left on a shelf’ to be resolved (Boss, 2006). 146 5.1.1.1. Gender Differences: Educational Attainment At least two parents showed more confidence in their daughters than in boys in terms of completing their education. Please note that all the families that participated in the interviews did not have girls. Speaking about her daughter, Gurpreet Kaur noted, My daughter is very intelligent in studies. I am not sure yet what my son will do. He has started getting As this year. I am very confident that my daughter will become something. However, I am still uncertain about my son. My son himself is very uncertain what he wants to do with his future. Gurpreet Kaur’s husband, Ranveer Singh also said proudly about his daughter, You know that my daughter is going for a dentistry degree even when she is married and has a very young baby. But we help her out—my wife takes care of her baby when she goes to attend classes at college. My son is in high school. He doesn’t know for sure yet what he wants to be, although he talks about being a computer engineer. On a similar note, Komalpreet mentioned about her daughter, Jasleen is very intelligent and doing very well in her studies. She is an all-rounder. She is good at studies. She takes care of house very well. She is a very good caretaker for her younger brother. She is getting very good grades in her studies…at least so far she is getting very good grades. In the next section, I will discuss the career and job expectations that the parents in the study articulated. 147 5.1.1.2. Expectations and Actions: Parent Involvement in Children’s Education It is important to explore parent involvement among these parents in their children’s education given the expectations they have for their children. The parents in this community are not involved in school except two families, who lived in the East Side of the City—good schools in the area was one of the criteria in buying their houses in this neighborhood. Please note that the families that lived in the East Side of the city also had higher education as compared to the families living in the Central and West side of the city. The fathers in the families that live in the Central Riverton and the West Side of the city work for long hours, on an average 12 hours, with a range of 8-14 hours a day. These fathers view their role as bread earner and providing resources for their children’s education. The mothers in these families were responsible for attending Parent Teacher Conferences at their children’s school. Sometimes two mothers, who are friends or related to each other, go together to attend their children’s Parent Teacher Meeting. In this section, I will discuss about three different issues around parent involvement in their children’s education: 1) Parent involvement at Home, 2) Children’s Involvement in Family Business, 3) Gap between Aspirations and Actions Parent Involvement at Home The parents in the study were involved in different ways in their children’s education—a) Homework help, b) Monitoring, and c) Resources. Homework help. The families, whose children are in middle school or higher grades, noted that it was easier for them to help their children with homework, when they were young. “Now it is becoming challenging for me”, said one of the mothers in these families. The mothers in the families with elementary school children either help their children with homework or use help of grandfathers or of the children in the extended families who have been through those 148 classes. “Sometimes I do, sometimes my father. Sometimes they seek help of their older cousins. So you know in India, I could have helped them more. Also we always have good private tutors in India”, said Jasleen Kaur, who finds her qualification inadequate in helping her middle school child with his homework. The families on the East Side of the city did not talk about any challenges in helping their children with homework. In fact, one of these families mentioned having extra practice work for their children through the public library in the area. Monitoring. Many parents noted that even though they can’t help their children much with their homework, they make sure that their children devote some regular time to their studies. “I make sure that Onkar finishes his homework before he goes out to play”, said Guneet Kaur. “I can provide them good food—they have to take care of their work. They have to study; I can see that they are studying.” “I always drop our kids to school, pick up our kids from school and when they are at home, I always stay with them to see if they are studying, if they need anything”, said Harkiran Kaur. Resources. The parents in the study also mentioned providing monetary and material resources to their children helping them pursue their educational goals. There were at least 3-4 families in the study, who asked me to guide their high school children and college going children for their future careers. Since I was organizing the play group in the Gurdwara, the parents in the community also treated me as a teacher and counselor when I went to their homes. I connected two families with my friend, whose major was similar to one that the adolescents in these families were interested. A mother in these two families said that she was grateful, Oh, that would be great. You know sometimes these kinds need better guidance. In our community, people are not that well educated and seriously we want our kids to 149 go out of community and do well than just sticking with us. If these kids can find better opportunities and better guidance, they can excel really well (Kanwal Kaur) Simran Kaur, whom I interviewed as proxy for her mother, requested me to help her younger th brother, Dilpreet, with his 5 grade curriculum. I told her about my limitations as a doctorate student for time commitments. She insisted and I agreed to teach her brother for an hour after the Sunday services at the Gurdwara. Gradually she started demanding more time and efforts, which eventually did not work out. The sister mentioned having some issues with her authority with her younger brother. She said, In front of me, he doesn’t want to listen to me. He doesn’t want to explain his school work to me. If it’s somebody else or like you or someone else, you know he tries to prove them something, but like for me, he is like, ‘I am a good boy, I know what I am doing”. That’s why I want somebody else to teach him. Children’s Involvement in Family Businesses Of the 12 interview and 3 focus group families, 14 fathers owned convenience stores along with additional business in two cases—6 of these fathers involved at least one of their sons at their stores in the evenings and on the weekends; one has started working full time after dropping out from college. Two or three fathers, however, claim, “We’re engaging them with us to help us, so that they realize how hard we work, and not just wander around.” When I asked them, “Do you tell your children that someday they can take care of your stores, 3 fathers said something like this, “I never tell them that. I tell them that “this is ours, not yours. You have to work hard yourself. Get educated.” The other three fathers agreed that if their sons did not want to study, they might have to take care of stores in future. One of the fathers, Manjit Singh, who 150 wants his daughters to become independent because they will leave home once they get married, said, For son—I have left it up to him. He can become whatever he wants. I do not want to pressurize him for anything. He can also own the stores that we have. My dad has me as his only son. I have Ajinder as only son. All our property will go to him. If he gets educated he will get a good job. He doesn’t have to work hard as we do. If he doesn’t study, it is his wish. He has to then look after the family stores. And anyway by Guru’s grace, we have enough business that he can take care of—in any ways, they are better than some small jobs. Simran Kaur illuminated the issue of youth falling back on their family business in much more details than any parents. Talking about a youth, whom I thought was enrolled in a college, she said, I think he did go to school, but I heard that he was planning to drop. He is working at the store. It is not like officially. Not everyone knows about it, but I know that he is dropping out of school. He is like ‘what’s the point? We are getting these degrees. What will happen to stores? We won’t get any jobs because we do not look like Americans?’ I know his parents are forcing him to finish his college, but he doesn’t want to. I asked her why it could be the case when the parents are encouraging him to finish the college education and he doesn’t want to. She said, I do not know. Maybe the way the kids are being raised in our community—it doesn’t make them overall smart. I mean they are smart, but they may not have many resources like American kids have. Our parents try to make us American and Indian, more of Indian, I would say. Sometimes they do not have resources to help us while we all 151 navigate this college process or job process. We are sometimes on our own or we are lucky enough, we find someone to guide you. Like you know Amandeep Kaur, the Physical Therapist. She is guiding me through this process of taking courses and the guideline to get admissions in the college and nursing program, you know. Gap between Aspirations and Actions Overall the parents in the study had high aspirations for their children and wanted their children to finish at least college, with an exception of the father who said, Onkar has been diagnosed with ADHD, so given that, if he can do high school or college, he can take care of my business after that. He doesn’t have to worry about college if he doesn’t want to. I feel that he is very fragile, so whatever he can accomplish, I will be happy (Rajinder Singh). However, using work at the convenience stores as a back-up plan may have led to the increasing trend of dropping out of college for family business. In my conversation with Ranveer Singh, I asked him about his expectations from his son, he said, “We have lots of properties in India, in New York and in Riverton. My 3 generations do not have to work if they do not want to work”. I asked him if this knowledge would weaken his son’s desire to finish his education and chose a different profession, Ranveer Singh said, “I do not know. Maybe…but at the end of the day, he should know that if he doesn’t study, he will have to take care of store.” One of the mothers, whose son doesn’t go to his father’s store said, No, I do not send him there. We do not want our kids to go there or learn those things; no…we want them to get their education first. Then it should be their freedom in the end what they want to do…if they want to get job outside. 152 The pressure that the girls will get married if they do not focus on their education would have led them to do better in school and made them ambitious to break the cycle of early marriages. Most parents with girls were pleased with their performance in the schools. One parent, proxy for mother, noted the challenges that she faced in meeting her expectations for her brother. Simran Kaur wants her brother, Dilpreet to get his education with high grades. However, she feels that due to her busy schedule with her own college and lack of reliable transport, she can’t help her brother much. She wanted me to pick up her brother from his father’s store which was closer to the Gurdwara than their house and drop him back after his lessons. She wanted to pay me but I declined the offer because I anticipated that it would not work in long run if the family was not actively involved in his education. I gave him several assignments to work on at home—he rarely finished them and used various excuses such as the father forgot to give the notes to Dilpreet that I dropped at his store, or Dilpreet was very busy helping his father at his store because of the overflow of customers. Simran said something like this. I do not have time for all this (helping Dilpreet with his work) because I have a much messed up schedule. He (father) doesn’t have time to do it either. And I do not have a car that I can drop him off. So if you can help him with his homework—if you can teach him for an hour. I come home, I am tired. I got my own things to do. I am very worried about him, getting his work done. I can’t focus on my stuff then. So I need that someone can pick him up or come to my house to teach. I do not have a ride. I also get ride from my cousins and uncles and whoever is free on a certain day. And there is nobody who is at home at 4 p.m. So it is so hard for me to take him anywhere and drop him off anywhere. But I am thinking probably over the weekend, if you can do or come during the week, I do not know if that would work or what you can do. 153 5.1.2. Expectations: Career and Job Aspirations Many parents noted career aspirations for their children. Many parents talked about ‘what they do not want their children to become’—they do not want their children to work at store businesses and find a job outside of their stores. Many of them gave the example of Sukhvir Singh’s son, who dropped out during the last semester of engineering under graduation to take care of his family business, i.e., convenience stores. When the parents tried to talk to him against it, he also cut his long hair and got rid of his turban. There were at least three families, who mentioned ‘working at family stores’ as a fall back option for their sons. About 3-4 families were clear about what they wanted their children to become—doctors, engineers, lawyers, and dentists were some of the professions that they wanted their children to take up. For example, one of the mothers in the study, Bhupinder Kaur, said, My son wants to become an engineer. I want my older daughter to become doctor. And for my younger daughter, her teacher has suggested that she should become a lawyer. She talks a lot. She is very active in class. So the teacher has suggested that studying law would be a good option for her. However, Bhupinder’s husband wanted his son to make his decision when he grows up—he was also open if the son wanted to take care of the family business. There were at least 3 families in the study, whose children were in college, but they were not sure what profession they would go in—the parents simply said, “We want them to find some good job somewhere.” For example, Sarabjeet Kaur noted, We are more interested in job. My husband is enough for business (laughing). You can still do business if you are not very well educated. But they are studying, 154 getting education in the United States from some of the best schools and colleges in the world….so why should they think about business? They should go for jobs. At least two parents articulated that their children are too young to decide any career for them. Others articulated that their children were young and doing well in school currently, but in future th th it might change. For example, Ravinder Singh, a father of a 8 grader, 7 grader, and a 3 years old son noted, I have lots of expectations—but it doesn’t matter. They have to decide what they would like to become, you know. It will be clearer in higher grades. They are still young to determine what they will become. We will get to know better in higher classes. They are still doing well. They are in middle school. If they keep doing that in high school then I can be more confident in terms of if my expectations match with my children’s performance. 5.1.2.1. Gender Differences: Career and Job Aspirations There were not many gender differences in terms of girls going forth to choose their careers. However, almost all parents, who had girls, mentioned that if their girls do not pay attention to school and do not choose a suitable career for them, they will be married sooner than they actually will, if they have a career. For example, one of the fathers said, I do not differentiate between girls and boys. If Jasleen wants to study further, she is most welcome to do that. If girls want to study, let them study. If their mind is not into education, they should get married before they start wandering out with boys. You know the U.S. environment is completely different—either you make your child or you break your child (Ravinder Singh). 155 On the similar note Ravinder Singh said, “Regarding education, I do not care. If she wants to be a doctor, she can be…but if she doesn’t study, unlike Onkar, she will not look after the business. She will get married sooner.” When I asked Ranveer Singh, whose daughter got married at an early age, when he was talking about how smart his daughter was in studies and he would like her to become a dentist, “Why did you marry your daughter so early when she was smart in school?” Ranveer Singh answered, “That was for an altogether different reason. She is intelligent and also doing well. My mother was very sick and she wanted to see her wedding. She was afraid that she would die without seeing any of her grandchildren’s wedding.” The parents had high expectations for their children’s careers—many did not want them to take on their businesses. They thought that it was a very hard work. A father’s words summarized educational aspirations for most of the parents in the study, “Educated people work smart. Uneducated people work hard.” Both mothers and fathers said that they would like to give equal chance to their daughters, “if they want to become something, we will give them equal chance.” Although the expectations of the parents in the study were high, their direct involvement in their children’s education was limited due to their own educational background. Moreover, most fathers in the study were spending somewhere between 12-14 hours at their convenience stores. Most parents were not involved in schools. Mothers in the study were solely responsible for attending parent teacher meetings. The mothers in the study were able to help their elementary school children, but many other mothers sometimes sought the older children of relatives to help children with their homework. They monitored their children’s educational activities at home and provided them with resources when needed. One mother, who was highly educated and whose child was in one of the best school districts in the city, was involved in her child’s education in school as well as at home. Of the total focus group and interview families, at 156 least 5 of the boys were helping their father part time; 1 dropped out of college and working full time; and one, who was taking associate credits at the time of interview, met me recently at the Annual Sikh Day Parade in April 2012 told me that he dropped out of college and started working full time at his father’s store. Even though many fathers thought that by taking their sons’ help at store, they were engaging their sons positively, however, there was a cost to their children’s aspirations to leave the community seeking other careers. Overall, the back-up plan if they do not do well in school—for boys was taking care of family business and for girls was getting them married as soon as they turn 18 years old. 5.1.3. Expectations: Cultural Competence Many parents, more specifically fathers in the study, articulated about learning the culture of the United States while retaining their own Punjabi culture. They viewed it as important to become successful in this country. Five to six fathers viewed the United States as their second generation children’s country, but they also emphasized that it is important for their children to learn their own culture. As Manjit Singh said, My expectations from them are that they should maintain their culture. They should adopt their [American] culture—they should bring both sides…it is not like just should be on one side. They should remain in touch with Indian culture also. They should love American culture too. I do not want them to hate one side or another. A person can be both—an American and a Punjabi Sikh. Manjit Singh further added that it is important for their children, “to learn, read, and speak English as it is required to be successful in school.” Another father, Rajinder Singh, who said that he told his both kids that they were Americans because they were born here, upon asking why he wants them to learn Punjabi culture, said, 157 Because they should know about their parents’ culture, country, and religion. As parents it is our responsibility to teach them about Indian or Punjabi culture. They should learn both. That’s how they are going to survive in this country. I tell you that. Another father, Kartar Singh, along the same line said, They should know about Indian culture. I have no issues with them following American culture, but they should know about their culture too. They [children] should feel like that this [United States] is their home country and be successful, as successful as they can and as successful as we want them to be. However, his wife Amandeep Kaur noted that since the father faced a lot of discrimination at his work due to his Punjabi accent, Kartar Singh always communicated with his children in English when they were young. She said that she always wanted them to learn both languages and good things from not just American and Indian cultures, but from the cultures all around the world. She said that this past summer, she brought books from the public library about different countries to do assignments with her son and daughter, so that every week they could learn about one country in the world. She went in more details about her expectations from her son, who is older than the daughter, I want him to have all the exposure at an early age so that he doesn’t think like other American kids that the U.S. is in the center of the world. I tell him that if economy fails here in the U.S., move somewhere else. Make this world your home. If you want to make home in Europe or South America, Africa, I mean the entire world. I want to make my sincere efforts to give them Indian values. I want them to learn as many cultures as they can learn after that. 158 Other mothers besides Amandeep Kaur emphasized teaching their children about Indian and Punjabi culture to a greater extent. Not all of them appreciated many aspects of American culture and would not like their children to learn American culture. “We would like to see them growing in our community, keeping their cultural values”, were reiterating responses. Chann Kaur, a mother of a girl and two boys, noted that getting the best of American education is important, but her children should also carry forward their Indian and Punjabi culture, I want my kids to get good education, excel well in this country yet maintaining their own culture. I would like my daughter to be a doctor, but I would like her to carry her cultural values along with that ambition. We came from India, we are carrying our values…we want our children to follow the tradition of carrying things forth. I do not want them to lose completely in American culture. Harkiran Kaur, a mother of two boys, shared her struggles dealing with her 20 year old son when he told her that he would expect his mother to behave like American mothers, who are more open to discussions about various topics. She said, “He wants to change me. They have grown up here so they want to live by norms of this society. I always give them reminders that you are Indian, live like Indians.” Another mother added, We always keep on telling our children about Indian culture. When they go to school, we keep on feeding them that our culture is very different than their [American] culture. You do not have to learn anything, anything means anything from them. We also tell them that you have to respect your parents and their culture (Komalpreet Kaur). All but one father and all the mothers in the study wanted their children to retain Punjabi language. They view it as important for children to know their language [Punjabi], so that they 159 can communicate with their grandparents and other extended family members in the community. Some parents also view language as a medium to keep their children close to religion, “first thing is language—we try our best that our children always retain the language—that’s the key element in keeping our children close to our religion”, said Amanveer Singh. Many parents noted that their children do not know how to read and write in Punjabi. Only 3 mothers mentioned that they tried to teach their children alphabets. But their children did not take interest in learning the language. One parent noted that at one point in time they started Punjabi language classes in Gurdwara, “but the parents did not bring their children to those classes and the teacher left.” The children who are either first generation or 1.5 generation are losing their reading and writing skills. All but one family noted that their children can speak fluent Punjabi. Amandeep Kaur said, “It needs context. Since we both work outside and deal with English speakers on daily basis, sometimes we do not notice that we are speaking in English with our children. Though I make conscious efforts to speak Punjabi with them.” Another mother noted that “her children are fluent in speaking Punjabi. We speak Punjabi at home. But when my kids talk with each other, they speak in English (Guneet Kaur).” Most fathers had a different notion of ‘cultural competence’—most of them acknowledged the fact that their kids were born in the United States, so they were Americans. These fathers also articulated that their children should be culturally competent in both the cultures. All but one mother articulated ‘cultural competence’ as their children knowing Indian culture—they did not talk about learning various cultures as ‘culturally competent’. Some of them also acknowledged that their children would be acculturated or socialized to American culture anyway when they go to school; so their focus should be on teaching Indian and Punjabi 160 culture to their children. The mothers of younger children in the study were more assured that their children listened to them so far; however, they were worried that it might change in future. They never came to me saying that these kids had this or that or why do we do things in a certain way. I never had problem in this area. They follow my rules. My husband also tells them to do things in a certain way or not doing things in this way or that way. They always follow our cultural rules. We haven’t faced any issues so far, but who knows they are still young. They might come in later years. During the interviews, many participants also talked about whether their children are affirming to Indian culture or not. We tell them we have a great cultural heritage. They should live within those cultural norms. But what can I say about future? Nobody knows about future. They respect their religious and cultural heritage so far (Kanwal Kaur) But Kanwal Kaur’s children were the only first generation children in the study. They came to the United States as 13 years and 11 years old. Their father, Satinder Singh said, “They remember their country and culture very well…they call our relatives…they are in touch with st them….. still maintaining those ties.” He further made a distinction between 1 generation and second generation children’s knowledge about Indian culture, They know that their roots are in India. The kids who are born here—they are kind of uprooted from India…they go there, but it is like a visitor or accompanying their parents to visit their parents’ country….I feel very fortunate that my kids are still connected to India and their extended families in India. Dalbir Singh, who had conflicts with his daughter, Simran Kaur because she refused to get married when her mother was at her death bed, complained to great lengths that he had lost his 161 adolescent children to the American culture. He wants to sell his business and take the youngest child, Dilpreet, who also participated in the study, to India so that he can get motivated for his education and “I want him to learn some Indian ways. I do not want him to turn like my older kids. I have seen my older kids going bad in this country.” He also advised that parents should bring their children to the United States when they are adolescents so that they have already learned Indian cultural norms. Dalbir Singh further shared that he had moved his first wife with the older three kids in India when they were young with the purpose of giving them better education and teach them Indian culture while he was working in the United States; but the wife (who died last year) insisted to join him and she came with her three older children to the Riverton area. Their youngest child was born in Riverton a year after she returned to the United States. In the next section, I will discuss about parents’ behavioral expectations of their children. Behavioral expectations are shaped by the culture of parents. However, I keep these two sections separate because cultural competence includes more than Indian culture. The expectations that were solely articulated by fathers except one mother, with no gender differences in children, were: developing cultural competence and growing up with minimum discrimination. Many fathers articulated that their children, both sons and daughters should learn English, get along with American peers in schools, should be engaged positively in school, and do well in the U.S. society. But on the other hand they should know their Punjabi culture and Sikh religion. Many fathers articulated that it was important to develop bicultural competence in order to be successful in the United States. However, their expectations about learning American culture were around language, school discourse, and positive engagement in the society; they did not approve other behaviors in the American society. At least 2-3 fathers enforced American citizenship related identity in their children. They told their children that 162 since they were born in the United States, therefore, they were American citizens. One of the fathers in the study did not want his children to learn Punjabi language when they were young because of his own experiences of language discrimination in the United States. Contrary to his expectations, his wife taught their children not only Punjabi language and culture, but took extra efforts to develop multicultural competence in their children. The other mothers did not emphasize bicultural competence—their view was that children would automatically pick up English language and American ways, they needed to work on teaching them Punjabi culture and Sikh religion. 5.1.4. Expectations: Behavioral The parents in the study articulated many behavioral expectations from their children. In the following subsections, I have divided the behavioral expectations that parents mentioned during their interviews into four different areas: a) understanding the value of hard work, b) appreciating privileges, c) respecting people, and d) ties with community people and extended family members. Understanding the Value of Hard Work Many parents expected that their children should realize how hard their parents have worked in past and are still working to support their education and comfortable life. The parents also expect that the true appreciation of their hard work would be if their children do well in their education. As Bhupinder Kaur, a mother of three children put it, “We are giving you everything—working hard so that your future can be bright. So, make best of it. Get good education.” Another parent, Prabhjeet Singh, wants his children to understand that their parents support hard work and would like them to work hard too, 163 If you do not want to study, come in front of me...tell me that you do not want to do anything. Whatever line you want to choose, it is your call not my call. If you are choosing your call, you cannot back out, that’s it. I do not want you to bluff me. I will support you if you want to succeed…you will be on your own if you do not work hard. Satinder Singh, a father of two wants his children to listen to their parents because parents work hard for their children and that’s why children should understand the value of their hard work and show their respect by listening to them, Every parent hope for their kids and work for their kids…they give good advice to their children…if they do not listen they are on their own….if they listen everything will be alright. We stay here till midnight—that’s for them (children). I am working hard to give them a good life…you have seen my house…how big and beautiful of a house I’ve built just with my hard work at this store? For who? For them, Amanveer Singh teaches the value of hard work to his children, “We keep telling our children that we are working very hard to sustain them in this country, so they have to work hard to do well in school.” Another father, whose youngest son wants to become a doctor, said, “I tell him, ‘if you want to be a doctor, it’s good. Study hard for it. Otherwise you will be working for 18 hours for someone else.’ I always tell him to work hard.” Another father, Ranveer Singh, also talked about the value of hard work by comparing him with his son, Well, he (son) is 16; he should know by now what he wants to do. I came here when I was just 15. I came to an altogether new country. I became something by 164 working hard and overcoming the hardships. If he is getting so much from us and doesn’t become anything—that will be his fault not ours. Appreciating Privileges At least two to three fathers noted that their children should appreciate what they have and should compare them with other children who do not have their basic needs met “I have two cars here and gave one to my older son who is in New York. My kids go to college in their Lexus…..how many kids get that privilege? If they do not regard it…..it will be what they chose”, said Satinder Singh. Another father, Ranveer Singh noted that he has accumulated a lot for his children, “they should respect the fact that everything that what I own will be theirs and I am working hard for them.” Prabhjeet Singh said, “You can’t make everyone happy. At some point of time you have to say ‘no’ and teach your child to start appreciating their privileges and stop demanding or whining that they do not have this or do not have that.” Amandeep Kaur, who has a 10 years old son, teaches his sons about various cultures. She teaches him how to appreciate the things that he has in his life. She also focuses on religious aspect of thanking God for all the privileges that her children enjoy. The mother and the son do weekly assignments on different countries. There are different ways of living. This is not the only way of living [American]. You can live without air-conditioner, you can live without heat, and I want him to know all this. And now is becoming interested in this global knowledge that people are different. This not only teaches him about the different ways of life but he also develops much appreciation for the things that he has in his life. And I always tell him that we should be thankful to God for that. When he reads or we both read about countries, we discuss how people live, what they eat, what they 165 do for living, what kind of environment they live in, we always compare those countries with U.S. and India. Respecting People When I asked parents about their expectations from their children, many parents said something like this father, “Respect is one—they need to know that we should respect all old people, adults, as well poor people; I mean respecting and treating everyone equal.” Almost all parents expected their children to respect elder and other adults around them. Parents encourage their children to touch the elders’ feet as a sign of respect. In Gurdwara, I see children and adults touching feet of the priest and their elderly, who come to the Sunday service. When I went to do conduct interviews with children and mothers at their homes, at least 3-4 boys in the study touched my feet as a sign of respect for their teacher and as an adult. Many children in the Gurdwara refer me as their ‘teacher’ as they were part of the play group that I started in the Gurdwara. ‘Respect’ for elders including parents, grandparents, teachers, and other adults is not only a traditional Indian cultural value, but there are old religious scriptures in Hinduism and Sikhism, where it has been emphasized that parents and teachers are next to God and they deserve high respect (Singh, 2005). Similarly, in the present study, many parents noted respect as their religious value. For example, Kartar Singh noted, “The way we have told them about religion are basically these—respect others, respect elders. These are some of the values we are trying to teach them about our religion.” When I went to this family to interview the mother, Amandeep Kaur noticed that their son came to me and asked me if I would like to drink something. She said, Other expectations from him are how to respect elders or greet someone who comes at their home. Did you see him today? I was so pleased to see when he 166 offered you water and asked you and your son if you guys would like to drink something. I was very surprised because I keep telling him these things, but I haven’t seen him doing that kind of stuff. Amandeep Kaur further added, I do not expect any American kid asking his guests the same thing; you see what I mean, at all. I am passing on these values and things to him. All these behaviors make me feel proud. Almost every parent emphasized ‘respect’ as an important cultural and religious value and many parents articulated that they do not want their children to become disrespectful like American adolescents when they grow up. For example, Guneet Kaur said, I also want them that they become good people, I mean, good human beings, respect us, and other family members. I do not want them to become disrespectful as some kids become here [America] when they grow up. Rajinder Singh, Guneet Kaur’s husband shares the same concern that American children are argumentative, but he presented a balance view—on the other hand the United States has some good things to offer. I want both my children to learn respecting others, not talking back to adults. In America, they learn to be argumentative. I do not like that aspect. America has lots of good things to offer. My children should learn to be honest, respectful, patient, and friendly. Along the same line, two other fathers mentioned that their children should learn to respect not only their parents, but also the other adults, elderly, grandparents in the community. 167 I do not want to see them growing and not respecting their family members, not respecting their grandparents. I believe that grandparents are first, then parents, and then family and culture (Manjit Singh). I also want them to learn respect and be respectful to adults and elderly in family and community (Ranveer Singh). Ties with Community Members and Extended Family Members. Some parents also articulated that their children should remain in touch with their extended family members in the area and in the United States. These parents also emphasized that their children should remain close to the community people and families back in India. These parents believed that this way their children could learn many Indian/Punjabi cultural behavioral expectations. A father, whose sons maintain ties to India shared, “I have 4 sisters, one brother, my uncles, aunts, and all relatives back in India. These boys talk to all of them. They make me proud. They remain close to their culture.” Another father, Manjit Singh said, They (children) should remain in touch with Punjabi culture too. For that reason, we take our kids to India once in a year or two so that they can meet our extended family members who live in India and learn about Indian values. We do that so that they can remain in touch with relatives, Indian food so that they should not completely become American. 5.1.4.1. Gender Differences: Behavioral Expectations Many parents talked about gender differences in a very unique way—they always started with saying that they do not differentiate between girls and boys in terms of what they expect from them, following that they would say something like this father said, 168 When I grew up, yes (there used to be gender differences)! But for my children they are same. But they are not equal either. I do not know how to express it. My expectations from my son are that he should be involved in sports besides studying. But for my daughter, I want her to learn to be a good female. She should be able to cook and all that. But do I expect my son to cook? No. But again I do not think it is appropriate for me to tell my son, but I hope that he should learn the values when I was growing up, I do not expect him to cook as his mother cooks. But again I want my daughter to understand that she has to learn certain things— she doesn’t have to be housewife, but she should be independent in household chores. This is not discrimination between two, but I expect that when my daughter goes to her house after marriage, she should be able to cook for her family (Kartar Singh). Dalbir Singh, a father of two daughters, a teenager and a young adult, expected his oldest daughter, Simran Kaur, to cook and take care of her family since the mother died the last year. He is not happy with how her daughters “are acting like American girls.” The father-daughter conflict is to the extent that the father doesn’t talk with Simran. “I do not understand why people consider her smart (beautiful). Her smartness is of no use if she can’t cook and take care of family”, said Dalbir Singh. He further added, “She is 21 years old. In India, 15 years old girl will manage the whole house. You know that.” Going to greater lengths, he said, She doesn’t care about me. At least the promises she did with her mother about taking care of me and her siblings, she should have kept that. I tell her that I have diabetes. What else she has to do besides college? I am earning and paying for her college. She can’t even cook; shame on her! 169 On a similar note, Rajinder Singh, a father of a girl and a boy, said about his daughter, “She has to go to a different house. She will get married tomorrow. She should know how to cook, how to clean, all that stuff that a traditional Indian women would do.” Another father, Prabhjeet Singh, a father of a teenage daughter and two younger sons, thought that having a girl in his house help all of them to behave in a modest way. He thought that “there are certain behaviors that should not be displayed if you have a girl in house. They need more modesty around them.” He further added, Being a girl in the family, I mean if you have a girl in your family, you are in very tight position; you have to set some boundaries and limits. Some things that you can’t do openly. For example, if I want to use bad words, I will be 100 times careful when my daughter is around. Having a daughter, I can’t do those stupid things. Amandeep Kaur, the youngest of the three daughters in her family and a mother of a boy and a girl talked in lengths about gender discrimination that she faced in India during her childhood. She said, “In my family, my grandparents were not happy when I was born as I was the third daughter in the family. I was discouraged to choose a career (Engineering) that was not ‘girl appropriate’.” She feels that the United States, the context not only provides her freedom to choose her career on her own but also helps raise her children with equality. However, she shared some concerns about treating both her children differently, As we are here—there is no difference between a boy and a girl. This is how I feel between two as well. Now when it comes to play dates and sleep overs, it is different. I can send [name of son] to these sleep overs but I would not be comfortable to send my daughter alone for that. No I will never do that. So, there 170 is still this boy and girl difference at this level, but other than that there is nothing that I differentiate between girls and boys. It is just about insecurities that we as parents of girls might have. What we all hear about things on day to day basis. It is easier for us to be free with boys in that sense, I guess. Bhupinder Kaur, who is a mother of two girls and a boy and whose parent-in-laws live with her wants to teach her daughters some household responsibilities. We have started a little bit for our older daughter now. Like she is 13, we tell her to make tea or wash dishes. They (girls) should know little bit at least, how to manage home. They can only eat in future if they know how to do it. Some mothers, who have adolescent daughters, do not want to leave them at home unsupervised. For example, Komalpreet Kaur shared, “Last Sunday, my daughter was not feeling well…so I asked her to stay at home…I never leave my daughter alone in the house... So I stayed at home.” Another mother wants her daughter to learn about wearing appropriate clothes and expects her to behave in a certain way, Like my daughter [name], when she grows up. I would like her to grow up like me—a modest girl…like I wear salwar kameez…I do not want her to always wear salwar kameez, but she should know what this is about…why girls behave in a certain way? What are some of those things that we as Indians follow, especially girls? They should know about our Indian values. They can live here and still adopt those Indian things (Chann Kaur). On the other hand she said that her son doesn’t do anything at home, “I mean he should know a little bit, not like my daughter, but something at least. His dad doesn’t do anything so he follows him and doesn’t do anything as well (laughing).” However, there were at least two mothers in the 171 study, who think that boys should also take care of some household responsibilities, “He (son) actually makes very good tea. When I do not have Saturdays off, he does most of the household chores—he vacuums, washes dishes, does laundry. I mean he takes care of lots of things on weekends.” Of the two mothers who thought that their boys should also learn, one did not have any girl and one was working and had her daughter married at an early age, so she had only son left at home, “I tell him (son) that your sister is also not here. So you have to help me.” Other differences between behavioral expectations from boys and girls that I observed in the Gurdwara Sunday services are that adolescent girls are expected to help their mothers in making chapattis for langar, whereas boys either sit in the upper prayer hall listening to prayers or play in the basement that is basically a dining hall for langar. The older girls in the community are also expected to take care of their younger siblings. One mother in her interview said, “Girls learn about service faster than boys. If women are making chapattis, our girls help us to put butter on chapattis. 5.1.4.2. Behavioral Expectations Based on Parents’ Childhood Experiences Many parents, while sharing their behavioral expectations, came up with their childhood memories about how they were expected to behave. They also noted that their parents were stricter than them as parents of their children. For example, Deepinder Singh said, We used to work with our parents a lot to get education or just to run a household…they asked us to support the household either by helping at farm or home or by earning while getting education. We are raising our kids by asking minimum support for us. We want them to behave and get their education. We are not making them work. Another parent, Harjot Kaur, said, 172 Remember we used to be so scared of our parents. We had high respect for them. My oldest one teaches me laws of the United States—‘you can’t hit me, it is against law that you can’t hit your child’. I tell him that I am not hitting you, I am just telling you that the thing that you just did was not right. So we behave in a way as our parents behaved with us. And we expect the same behaviors from our children that our parents expected from us. We had so much respect for our parents that we never gave them a chance to use any kind of discipline. But look at these kids today; they threat us with law (laughing). Two mothers articulated how they used to be responsible for household chores since they were very young, but they do not make their daughters to work hard at that early age anymore, “Things are changing. We used to start household work since we were 6-7. Now we do not ask before they are 12-13 years.” The behavioral expectations that both mothers and fathers articulated in the study were: value of hard work, appreciation of possessions, respect for elders, and strong ties with Sikh community. The additional expectations that the parents articulated for their daughters were that they needed to learn household chores so that they could take care of their future families. One apparent observation how parents treated their daughters and sons differently, which the parents did not mention was that most birthdays that were celebrated at home or at the Gurdwara through sponsoring the langar were that of boys. In north part of India, traditionally due to large landholdings and patriarchal lineage to sons, boys have a higher status than girls (Singh, 2005). Parental expectations regarding children’s behaviors were based on their experiences of intergenerational parenting. 173 5.1.5. Expectations: Growing up with Minimum Discrimination A few parents, mostly fathers, in the study expected that their children should feel comfortable living in this country and should face minimum discrimination when they grow up. The parents in the study reported that “I believe and I teach that to my children about the society, where they live, I tell them that [society] comes first and religion comes after that. So live by its norms so that people do not see you differently.” Based on his own experience of discrimination due to his accent, one of the fathers never spoke to his children in Punjabi, so that his children are not subjected to discrimination when they grow up. This father further said, “They should be able to live in this country with minimum discrimination.” Another father along the same line said, They live in this society. They have to learn norms of this society. They are born here and are growing up here. If my son has to go to someone’s place, he should not wear Kurta pajama (traditional Indian dress), he should wear shorts and go (Prabhjeet Singh). He further added, I do not want to look or my kids look suspicious or different in this society. You have to blend with these people. Ultimately you will have to do that, so why not learning those norms since childhood. I want to mingle in this society. Other parents did not explicitly articulate this expectation. However, they talked in length about their proactive socialization when I asked them questions about why their children cut their hair out of turban. 174 5.1.6. Expectations: Dating Behaviors Among many of the reasons for moving to the Riverton area was “to protect our [their] growing children from the culture of a big city like New York, where dating and promiscuity was apparent in other teens.” Many parents, especially the parents of the older children in the group, held opinions against their children marrying people outside of Punjabi community. They viewed that since the fathers have worked so hard for their families and children, their children should listen to them in terms of their choices for marriage. “There is no question of dating anyone, not even a Punjabi girl, we ask them to marry and they marry the girl”, said Sarabjeet Kaur. “Dating is a very American concept, not our thing. They can see their bride or groom before we fix their marriage. But beyond that uh-un”, said Guneet Kaur. Another mother, Harkiran Kaur, said, I will break his bones the day he gets a girlfriend (jokingly). Friends are fine, but crossing limits will not be acceptable. No emotional investment in the relationships that will not go anywhere. I will get both of them Punjabi brides. When asked ‘what if your children bring someone who is non-Indian or non-Punjabi as their life partner, Chann Kaur, said, I will not be very happy with that. I wouldn’t expect my children to bring non-Indian or American boyfriends and girlfriends. We have lots of people of Indian origin in this country. Gurpreet Kaur, another mother, would like her son to get married not just with a Punjabi girl, but with a girl who is Punjabi and being raised in India, I would like to get a Punjabi bride for my son. And also from India—not a Punjabi girl being raised here. At least the girl will bring original Punjabi culture 175 to our home (laughing). To me, friendship doesn’t matter as long as it is within some limits you know. I always tell him to not get serious with any girl here because I am going to get him married to an Indian girl. Sarabjeet Kaur was certain about her sons about not making their choices without asking her, “I trust them—they will not do themselves. They will always consult me.” 5.1.6.1. Gender Expectations: Dating Behaviors The fathers in the study were more confident that their children would not date anyone whom they do not approve. Not many fathers talked about their ideas about their sons dating non-Punjabis. However, they said that they were more protective of their daughters in terms of dating behaviors and promiscuity. For example, when I asked Prabhjeet Singh how he would react if his children bring a person from another culture, he said (Deep breath)…it’s not going to happen like that. At least in my book, particularly for my girl, I am not letting this happen. You know, I am pretty strict when it comes to these things. My nature to protect my daughter—I will do it in any manners. You know if it is her husband, he should ask for my daughter in a nice way, I mean this is not going to happen anyway….because I am very picky in this manner when it comes to my daughter. I am very very particular. He further added, “She’ll have some limitations in terms of how she wants to dress up. I’d not like if she wears shorts or short clothes. That will not be acceptable. I mean she can wear jeans…but the clothing should not be promiscuous.” Prabhjeet Singh’s wife, Chann Kaur, thought that it would still be okay if her sons and daughter like someone and want to get married to a person, but for daughter—“he should be a Punjabi” and the condition would be, “Bring the person home and get our approval. We will make it a family and social thing. Marriages in 176 Indian culture are more than two people involved—our families are involved.” Chann Kaur further added, “Having said that, I am not saying that she should have pre-marital sex and all that with her future husband, like American girls are involved in those things.” On a similar note, Harjot Kaur, said, I would like all my children to get married to people from their own community than going outside to find people. I wouldn’t mind if my daughter comes and tells us about her choice. I will have only two conditions: I would like to get all my children married to Sikhs. I do not approve of pre-marital sexual behaviors. And it is same for all my children. But for girls, as you know, it is a must. Simran Kaur, whom I interviewed as a proxy for her mother, remembered her childhood, My parents were very strict with me even with the littlest things like, no opening hair, no perfumes; I was not allowed to be in jeans and pants after I came back from school. I had to change myself into salwar kameez as soon as I reached back home. Like I had to wear suits right away after I came home. Go upstairs and change them, no pajamas, no T-shirts, nothing like that. Like I have my hair in pony, at that time it was no open hair, nothing. Simran thinks that her father is not strict with her older brother and younger brother. She advocates for her younger sister, who is an adolescent now, My sister is very picky. So her time is coming now. I am not strict with her because I knew how I felt about it when I was growing up. I know what I went through. So I do not want her to get through all of that either. And with her, my mom did not do that. I did not let her. I said, ‘it’s okay. She is young. Let her do whatever she has to do’. With me it was a lot different. 177 The idea of getting their daughters married at early ages, especially if they do not do well in school and their career is framed around taking steps to protect their daughters from ill effects of American culture. For example, one of the fathers in the study while talking about his daughter and his two adolescent nieces , “If their (daughters’) mind is not into education, they should get married before they start wandering out with boys.” Many families articulated that it is important for them to protect their daughters before marriage and they can have more freedom after their marriages. For example, one of the fathers noted, “There should be some limits. My daughter can do anything that she wants to do when she gets in her own house (after marriage). After her marriage, I do not care what she does.” There were at least two families, who noted that their children, more specifically girls, should listen to their parents when it comes to making some important decisions in their lives, such as marriage one of them. Dalbir Singh said, “I know they are growing up here but they should listen to us no matter what. We are their parents. He doesn’t talk with daughter.” He asked me to “Tell her to get married to a person that I want her to get married to. I’ll forgive her then. This is what happens in our culture. If she doesn’t want to listen to me, I do not care about her.” Chann Kaur, who said that she would treat her boys and girl equally said later, We want our daughter to go our ways; sometimes it is harder for boys to go parents’ way. If he brings a person of his choice, we might have to agree based on our future circumstances. But my husband is very strict with my daughter. She doesn’t get any break from him. I am very lenient with her. But my husband doesn’t allow her to talk with older boys in our community as well. He wants her to focus on her education. She should not be involved in anything (friendship with boys) beyond her education. If she is coming home, my husband instructs all of us 178 to watch her, whom she is talking to over phone, what she is doing on computer, those kinds of things. He takes good care of her than I do. 5.1.6.2. Dating Issues: Role Models in the Community Many parents in the community, especially that of young children, consider older children in their families and community, for their children as role models in future. When the parents of young children said that their children were still young to think about dating issues, I probed further if they thought that in future they might date someone or like someone who is not from your Sikh religion or non-Punjabi culture, parents like Jasleen Kaur said, Well, no one can predict future but God. But I am sure that they will remain sane like all other kids in our family. They are modeling their older cousins who in their late teens do not have girlfriends or all that American promiscuity that teens in America have. Manjit Singh, a father of two daughters and a son also noted, All kids in our family are great. My sister’s kids are also very respectful. One of them studies in New York City. You can expect a 20-year old boy to have a girlfriend. But he is not into all these things that sometimes kids do in America. And our family feels proud of him. And as you know sometimes younger cousins follow their older cousins as their role models. So I feel that my sister’s son has set a good example for his youngsters. We haven’t heard any complaints of our kids (family children) so far. The fathers in the study were more confident about their children that they wouldn’t date people that the parents wouldn’t approve. However, they were more protective of their daughters in terms of ‘dating behaviors’ and ‘influence of American promiscuity’. Most mothers in the study 179 articulated more resistance against their sons’ intercultural marriages. The idea of getting their daughters married at early ages, especially if they do not do well in school and their career was framed around taking steps to protect their daughters from ill effects of American culture. Many parents also felt confident that their children would not date or marry a non-Punjabi person because they thought that in their community there were appropriate role models that their children could follow. In the next section, I will elaborate on the religious expectations that the parents have from their children. 5.1.7. Expectations: Religious The parents talked about many religious teachings that they wanted their children to learn. “We want them to stay close to our culture and religion” were some of the common expectations resonated by the parents in the study. The parents felt that keeping their children closer to community and religion would help them protect their children from ill effects of American society. “I would like my children to go the way as our culture and religion tells, our ways are different than Americans”, said Chann Kaur. The religious expectations that the parents in the study have for their children include: 1) Core values, such as equality, politeness and forgiveness, generosity, honesty, fight for justice, and service 2) Moral codes, such as avoidance of drugs and alcohol abuse, 3) Knowledge of religion, 4) Closeness to community, and 5) Outward markers, such as dress code (i.e., turban). 5.1.7.1. Core Values of Religion As one of the fathers puts it about Sikhism, “It’s a great religion and it liberates you.” Many parents focused on the core values of religion. Devinder Singh, one of the fathers in the initial men focus group, said, 180 You will be surprised to know that Sikhism emphasizes the values that are very similar to the U.S. constitutional values. So it is not difficult for us to practice our religion here. In our religion, we emphasize the values like justice (right to defend), equality (gender and race), honesty, service, and respect. He further emphasized that “Sikhism is a philosophy of life. It is a very practical religion. It simply tells us how to be good human beings.” One of the fathers, Prabhjeet Singh, said, I want him [son] to learn the core values of our religion or may be core values to be a good human being, which may be common to all religions. This is something that he gets from his religion for some reasons. It is good thing that Sikh religion teaches that (Prabhjeet Singh). Another father in the study said, There are some core values, such as respect we are trying to teach them about our religion. We are teaching them some values of religion but not imposing the religion very strongly on them. I believe and I teach that to my children also that society, where they live, comes first and religion comes after that. I am more about the core values of my religion than to appear fundamentalist. Core values are more important to me and that’s what I want to teach my children—that they should be grounded in religion (Kartar Singh). Equality. Many parents talked about the emphasis of Sikhism on the equality of class, race, and gender. “I want them (children) to learn equality, justice, and service from our religion”, said Pardeep Singh. On a similar note, Guneet Kaur, said, “I teach them about feeding everyone irrespective of color, caste, race, and nationality.” “They should go along well with other people regardless of person’s status, no difference between rich and poor, Black and White”, said Manjit 181 Singh. Another father added, “ I would like my children to learn that we are all equal human beings created by one God regardless of what faith we follow, what color we are.” One of the mothers, Harjot Kaur said, Respect your elders, equality…like in our langar, anyone can come. This is something that I tell my children. Sikhism doesn’t differentiate people based on their color, race, caste, and religion. A White person can come to our langar and a Black person can come to our lunch. It doesn’t differentiate between a king and a beggar. I want my children to learn those values—love human beings irrespective of who they are. Politeness and Forgiveness. Some parents talked about their expectations about raising polite and forgiving children. “My children should be polite with their elders and youngsters. I teach them how modest and polite our Gurus were”, said Kanwal Kaur. “Many people did bad things with our Gurus, but the Gurus still forgave them. We want our children to learn the values of tolerance and forgiveness”, said Komalpreet Kaur. Sarabjeet Kaur also wants her boys to “be polite with everyone regardless of who they are”. Another mother, Bhupinder Kaur, went in more details, In our Gurbani, we say, “Kaam (lust), Krodh (anger), Lobh (greed), Moh (attachment), and Hankar (ego) are five evils that we should stay away from. We should not be angry on small things. We should also learn to forgive people. We follow what is written in our Holy book. I try to teach these things to my kids. Generosity. A few parents talked about their expectations of children learning generosity and to help poor people with all their means. “I tell them that we should donate 10% of our earnings to poor people, according to our religion”, said Guneet Kaur. 182 Honesty. Some parents expected their children to be honest and they related ‘honesty’ with Sikh religion, “Our Sikhi also teaches us that we should never lie.” Manjit Singh, a father of one son and two daughters, added, “Those who follow Sikhi should have beard, should be a sardar, should grow their hair. We (my son and I) were not able to be that kind of Sikh. But we follow the path of truth that Sikhism enforces. It teaches us that we should always be truthful. He further added that kirt Karna (earning an honest living) is an important aspect that I would like to teach my son. Fight for Justice. Some parents articulated that historically their Gurus fought for justice and that’s one of the values that they would like their children to learn. “Another teaching is that they should stand up for what is wrong. These are some of the values of religion that I would like to teach them—do not degrade anybody and do not get degraded by anyone”, said Kartar Singh. Service. One of the most important values of Sikhism is service—service in various forms such as ‘be service to Gurdwara in different forms (i.e., cooking, cleaning, and serving food, teaching children in Gurdwara, donating money, or any kind of contribution)’, ‘be a service of community’, or ‘be a service to poor people’. There are various forms of service, the primary aim of which is to keep pride and ego away from self and stay grounded (Guru Nanak Dev Mission, 2008). “Sewa (service) is very important. Help the poor by any means”, said Deepinder Singh. Another father in the study said, We try to teach them the concept of sewa. We tell them to save some money only for the service purposes—if you can’t do it here, you can use that money for service in India, you know. When we pray at home in our prayer room, we always put some money there so that when it is collected and someone is going to India, we give away that money for service in India (Amanveer Singh). 183 Another father, Ranveer Singh, emphasized, “Sewa is related with respect. If you are respectful to other people, you will be able to do service for them. But if there is no respect—you can’t expect sewa.” One of the fathers in the study, who also considered ‘sewa’ as taking care of elderly parents, said, “I have no expectations about sewa…even if I wanted to stay with my parents and do sewa, how much could I do for them”, said Ravinder Singh, whose parents were residing in India. 5.1.7.2. Moral codes—Avoidance of Drugs and Alcohol Abuse The fathers and grandfathers in the study emphasized their expectations to help the children in their families and the community to grow drug and alcohol free. Some fathers mentioned it as one of the factors in decision making when they moved to the Riverton area. “I would like my son to be away from drugs. I moved to Riverton not just for my business but to keep my family safe from a big city environment like New York. Children are involved in drugs in big cities. Sikhism tells us not to abuse drugs”, said Ranveer Singh. Another father provided a broader community view of drug use, Our kids should not get into bad habits, such as drinking, smoking, addictions. You will see that this holds true throughout our community. You will find only a very small percentage of people who smoke or drink. I do not say that drinking is bad—but after drinking, do not do anything bad (Manjit Singh). Another father, Pardeep Singh, on similar line said, In our Guru Granth Sahib, it has been written in clear words that any kind of addiction, including alcohol, drugs, smoking, etc., is a sin. I want to protect my son from any drugs and alcohol abuse that has been forbidden in our religion. 184 Hukum Singh, the grandfather of 5 boys and 2 girls from his three adult children living in the Riverton area said, We want to raise children in the community, who are ‘nasha mukt’ (drugs free). We feel that our Gurdwara plays an important role in engaging our children positively and helps them to remain free from drugs and to not involve in antisocial activities. 5.1.7.3. Knowledge of Religion Some parents in the study said that they would like their children to know about the history of Sikhism. They should have the knowledge of their religion so that they know what Sikhism means. Who were our Gurus? What did they do for us? What lessons can we learn from their lives? I mean I can’t read the Holy book, but I have knowledge of who was Guru Gobind Singh…what did he do? I want them to know the history of religion—basic knowledge. They cannot get the complete knowledge but they should have basic knowledge of what Sikhism (Prabhjeet Singh) “We teach them about Gurbani….encourage them to go to Gurdwara and hear the Gurbani…that’s something that runs everything. We also encourage our children to read Gurbani”, said Deepinder Singh. Sarabjeet Kaur, a mother of three boys, said about her youngest son, “He learns about history of Sikhism and what our Gurus did to save us or to keep our name. He should know his culture and religion.” 185 5.1.7.4. Attachment to Community Another religious cultural expectation that some parents expected from their children was to grow in their community with harmony. “Loyalty—be loyal with your friends, families, community, and religion”, said Sarabjeet Kaur. Deepinder Singh articulated the concept of “Wandh Kay Shakho that is sharing and eating together and be harmonious with each other. It is a very important teaching in our religion to create tolerance towards other and love within and outside of your community”. This is a concept where Sikhs are expected to share their wealth and food with others in community or with those in need. The Sunday lunch, langar, is a part of this philosophy that brings the community people and children together. Many parents in the study think that keeping their children closer to Sikh community will give their children strength and support in future. “My children should feel proud that they belong to Sikh community”, said Kartar Singh. “We would like to see them growing in our community, keeping their cultural values….. they should learn the religious values of Sikhism”, said Harjot Kaur. 5.1.7.5. Outward Markers A few parents talked about having outward identity markers in Sikhism. “According to Sikhi—like we have 5 symbols of Sikhism that we use. Like Kesh, Kirpan, Kada, Kachera, and Kanga. My kids both wear all those symbols, said Jasleen Kaur. Not many parents in the study were very confident about keeping the outward identity markers. Prabhjeet Singh, one of the fathers, who cut his long hair before coming to the United States and never let his sons grow their hair into turban said, In Sikhism, we have a dress code—why we wear turban, this Kada (showing his bracelet) and why do we keep beard—those kinds of things. If those things make someone Sikh, I am not a true Sikh then. But if the values, belief in one God make 186 you Sikh, I am a Sikh and I would like my children to learn those values but at their own pace, on their own, not forcing anything on them. The parents, both mothers and fathers, in the study, irrespective of gender of their children also articulated religious expectations for their children. They wanted their children to learn core values of Sikhism such as equality, justice, politeness and forgiveness, generosity, and honesty. The fathers and grandparents in the study wanted their sons and grandsons to follow moral codes of religion, i.e. to stay away from any drug and substance abuse. The parents in the study wanted their children to learn history of their religion, stay close to their Sikh community so that they could follow role models in the community. 5.2 Religious and Cultural Socialization In this section, I will discuss about parents’ decisions about keeping outward identity markers for their children, reasons for the decisions, tools that parents provide for teasing and bullying in school, ways of religious and cultural socialization, and factors affecting socialization. In the Table 5.1, I have listed the fathers and sons in each family, who are carrying outward identity markers, especially turban. 187 Table 5.1. List of Families’ Father-Son Dyads Wearing Turbans vs. Cutting their Hair Participant Family 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 Father Wears Turban or Not Son Wears Turban or Not Doesn’t wear turban since his young age Cut in middle school Doesn’t wear turban since his young age Wears turban Doesn’t wear turban since his young age Cut his hair before coming to the U.S. Wears turban Cut in middle school Cut in high school Cut in elementary school Wears turban Wears turban Wears turban Cut in college Cut in elementary school Cut his hair before migration Cut his hair before migration Cut his hair before migration Cut his hair before migration Head Cover Full turban Cut his hair before migration Head Cover Cut his hair before migration Full turban Head Cover Full turban Full turban Full turban Cut his hair before migration I interviewed first 12 families listed in Table 5.1; the daughters of the family 13 participated in the girls’ focus group. The families 14 and 15 participated in adult men and women pilot focus groups. Of the 15 fathers in the study, 5 wear full turban with grown hair; 3 father wear head cover (a small scarf to cover head) to tie their hair. There were 7 fathers in the study, who cut their hair before coming to the United States. One of the fathers said, I used to have a turban. Yes, I used to have a turban till my college. I cut my hair just 6- 7 months before coming to the United States. I also cut my beard after a year when I started working in up North in Michigan because I looked different, I spoke different and they were not just able to adjust with me and I assessed what was important.. Was my beard so important? No…I wanted to make myself comfortable working with them. I wanted myself to make appealable for them to be able to work with me. 188 Another father, Prabhjeet Singh, mentioned to cut his hair of the turban in India because of the terrorism and the backlash going against Sikhs after Indira Gandhi’s assassination. We ended up in an issue at that time. There was fundamentalism going on, so you know I was a part of boys’ fight. So you know I wanted to get out of any such situation that could risk my future, so I cut my hair so that people see me differently. Other fathers who had cut their hair from turban before coming to the United States listed similar reasons, “If I had to cut my hair to mix up in crowd, let it be like this. Keeping my hair was my last priority in front of the other priorities I had” or “I was a kid—15 years old. I did not want to focus my attention on keeping my turban. I rather wanted to use my concentration on work”, were some of the reasons that these participants mentioned. They also said that “keeping core values of our religion is more important for us.” At least two fathers in the study, one of which grew his hair back into turban, noted that they “cut hair out of turban at that time (immigration to the U.S.) because the immigration agent wanted them to do that.” I did not probe this point further due to the discomfort that I observed in both participants. The father in family 14, Sukhvir Singh, is one of the first ones to come to the New York City and the Riverton area; he holds a leadership position in the Riverton Gurdwara Organizing Committee. The people of the community respect him and see him as a role model in the community. When his son dropped out of college to take care of the family business and cut his hair (i.e. turban), the community was shocked. “Do you know his son? He dropped out of college and cut his hair, we were all very shocked. At least we did not expect it from his family”, said Gurpreet Kaur (family 8), whose son had cut his hair in high school. She said, 189 “He was in school and had his Parna, children in school used to tease him and we agreed when he wanted to cut his hair from Parna. Also after the 9/11 attack, there were lots of problems with our community, so his dad and I decided to have it cut. We weren’t happy but we did not have a choice.” Many fathers in the study had cut their long hair out of turban before coming to the United States. Some of them made decisions about their sons that they would keep their hair long, others did not want their sons to grow their hair since beginning, and there were families, who decided to cut or let their sons cut their long hair after facing direct teasing in the families or hearing about an incidence in community or through media. 5.2.1. Children With, Without and Cut hair of their Parna There were three categories of the participating children in the group in terms of their hair length and who wore Parna: 1) Children who wear their Parna (N=4), 2) Children whose parents decided that they would never keep their children’s hair long enough to tie in a Parna (N=3), and 3) Children who cut their long hair for one reason or another (N=5). Please note that the above listed numbers do not include the boys from families 13, 14, and 15 in table 8. 5.2.1.1. Families of Children Wearing Parna Of the children who participated in the study, there were only 4 children, who wear Parna in school—two of which were elementary school children and the other two were middle schoolers, all going to 2 different school districts. The two West Side families felt strongly about keeping their children’s outward identity markers. Dalbir Singh, the father of two boys and two girls, said about his youngest son, who also participated in the study, “Dilpreet is fine. He knows that he is Sikh and he wears this Parna. He is so confident that he is not afraid to fight for himself. My wife gave him a very strong spirit.” The mother in the other family, Jasleen Kaur, 190 said, My sons actually tell my husband, who wears a head cover, to keep his full turban. They tell him, ‘You are not a good sardar (Sikh) if you haven’t kept your turban.’ There are 5-6 kids in the school who wear patka in school. When other children ask my son, Arjan, about it, he tells them proudly, ‘this is part of our culture. I wear it. My brother wears it. And all men in our family wear it.’ The other two boys, who were in Central Riverside area and going to that district, faced many issues in school because of their Parna. But the families insist that they keep their hair long inside the Parna. When I was interviewing Guneet Kaur, her son Onkar, who has ADHD and he wears his Parna in school, came home crying because children teased him for being a ‘girl’. Guneet said, Onkar gets pretty upset about his own juda (Parna). Kids sometimes tease him about his grown hair. They say, ‘Since you have a bun on your head, you are a girl. Go and play with girls. Why did you join us in boys’ group’? You know we want to teach him about his religion. This is the age when he can understand these things. When he grows up like my sister-in-law’s son, he won’t be able to understand this. Another mother in family 7, whose son, Jaideep also faced such incidences of teasing in school shared, Initially they used to tease Jaideep as a girl. They used to tell him, ‘Go to girls’ bathroom’. Now they do not. He has become their friend in school—now they do not tease him anymore. But when he was new he had faced those issues (Komalpreet Kaur). 191 When I asked the two mothers, Guneet Kaur and Komalpreet Kaur, “1) How do their children react to the teasing in school and 2) what measures do they take to protect their children from this teasing. The mothers said that children get upset and they want us to get their hair cut out of Parna. But both mothers felt strongly about keeping their children’s hair long despite the teasing because it was one of their religious values. They also felt that when children grow up, they make their own decisions and during their middle childhood the parents had more control over the situation, “they are still young; they listen to us; when they become adolescents, they are out of control”, said Komalpreet Kaur. Both mothers stated that through conversations and with the support of grandparents or relatives they help their boys realize that ‘keeping hair long’ is an essential part of their religion. I asked Guneet Kaur, “What do you do when the children tease Onkar in school because of his turban?” She responded I tell my son to stay strong. Kids tease him, but I consider that it is normal among kids. I have to teach my son to be strong against such things. Among the kids who harass him is also one Indian child who comes to Gurdwara. He doesn’t wear turban. So, I talked to his mom about her son’s behavior. She further shared her frustration, The older kids in our families, my sister-in-law’s son for example, they feel that they look awkward with juda (Parna), so (name of child) cut his juda couple of months back. So one thing that my children are going to school here, second, their cousins are going against their parents’ wish in cutting their hair, how can I control my kids that much? Komalpreet shared that her son chatting with his grandparents at skype over the issue of keeping his hair in Parna, 192 Jaideep skypes with his paternal grandparents every Sunday, But when he speaks with his grandparents, especially his grandfather (paternal), he tells him that he can’t cut those hair. He doesn’t ask anymore after having a long conversation with his grandfather at Skype. My father-in-law has talked with my son about the importance of keeping the hair in Sikhism in lengths and since then he is okay (Komalpreet Kaur). The parents who decided that their children would grow their hair used their family networks to support their decision. The boys in the two families who were at the West side of the city took pride in their outward identity and the parents were able to empower them so that they could educate their non-Sikh peers about their outward identity markers. The boys in the two Central side families faced more teasing and bullying but the parents used control and family members’ support for their children to keep their outward identity members. 5.2.1.2. Parents Decided not to Start Keeping Children’s Hair in Parna There were 3 families, who never had their boys grow their hair since their young age. Two fathers in these families talked earlier about their expectation that their children should face minimum discrimination in the United States, so they had taken it as a preventive measure to protect their children from racism and discrimination in future. Chann Kaur, one of the mothers in these three families talked in lengths that they wanted to protect their son for any potential bias and discrimination based on how he looks. You must know if we wear Parna, they may be subjected to teasing and bullying in school because we are aware by media. Actually recently media, especially Sikh media, has started propagating that there is no such thing now in schools. Sikhs are free—they can wear turban and swords in school. But no, I do not believe it…..and 193 I would be wary of such things. Racism still occurs. We do not want to put our children at risk of racism—in school people may ask them, “Why are you wearing turban in school?” Our kids should not feel embarrassed because of those things. Why should we focus on those things, you know (Chann Kaur) Prabhjeet Singh, Chann Kaur’s husband, gave example of many families in the communities who started with keeping their children’s turbans and due to teasing in schools, they had to cut their hair or children cut the long hair themselves when they grew up. He said, I did not want my son to grow his hair. People in our community have these issues. Then they complain that other kids teased their kids. Why do you give this chance to other kids? Your kids will get rid of their hair anyway when they grow up, so why bother? And I do not understand how kids can tease your child. Go to school, teach the school, and teach the society. You people can’t get out of your houses and teach the people who you are, what’s the point in keeping your turban? And then because of that you cut your children’s hair. Why did you take 10 years to decide that you will not keep your son’s hair? He further added, I feel that you raise your child for 10 years and you feed it. You keep your son’s turban and then you do not have guts to teach your schools and society about that. You cut your child’s hair that you kept for last 10 years and you do not regret it. It is like a death of something—rather not doing it since your child’s young age. Be modern—hey, you know who cares? 194 Amandeep Kaur, a mother of two children said that outer appearance doesn’t matter to her and she never wanted her children to wear outward identity markers, like growing hair and wearing Parna. I am not the typical, traditional Sikh girl. I got my hair cut…..I want to look good—looks matter to me. I do not have a pig tail. I do not want to make a pig tail every single day. So for me, I have my own values that I have to be respectful to other people in the house, and that’s what I want them to know. That’s the biggest part that they need to learn—respect your guests, respect your elders, respect your parents. And that’s where my focus of teaching my kids are. “I did not really want them to look different in school”, said Harjot Kaur. She further added I want them to be respectful, caring human beings. Their dad wears a head gear without his long hair. People at his store keep asking him—‘What are you wearing. What is it for? Where are you from?’ My husband and I decided that we would not ask of our children to grow their hair and wear turban. I have heard that there is some bullying and teasing with kids who wear Parna, so why to put my children at risk of teasing. Harjot Kaur’s husband, Pardeep Singh, went in greater lengths to discuss the negotiation process of what is important to keep and what is less important that they can let go by comparing children in the United States with the Sikh children growing in India. He said that, In India we are losing our cultural and religious values, so when you are losing it there, how can we expect from our children that they would be a full-fledged sardar. We have our own limitations here. We are at least keeping our religious values in terms of protecting our children from drugs and substance abuse that is spreading 195 like anything in Punjab. All the drugs come from Pakistan and the young lads are taking all these drugs. The parents in this category decided that they would not grow their children’s hair because of negative incidences happened with other children that they either heard in their community or watched in the media. The fathers in two families faced some kind of discrimination based on their national origin and language. These parents were taking it as a preventive measure to protect their children from differential treatment that they might face in future. Two of these families were educated and their children were going to the best school district. They had more resources in terms of education and geographical location—two of these families were living in the East part of city and they were not related to other families in the network (please see figure 7, p. 125). Therefore, these two families were away from communal gossips and social control within the community. There was a third category of parents, who started with at least one of their boys with long hair and then due to various reasons or confluence of many factors, they made decisions about getting their children’s long hair cut out of Parna. 5.2.1.3. Parents who Let their Children cut their Hair out of Parna The parents in this category (N=5) listed several factors for why their children cut their long hair at much later stages. At least two families in the study listed the medical reasons for getting their participating children cut their long hair. One of the fathers noted, Agampreet was having some health issues. He was losing hair from his front head. We went to doctor for about a year. The doctor told us that it was because he tied them up. He had very heavy hair. And when he went to India, he saw that many of his cousins did not keep their turban. So he decided that he would not keep his either—why should 196 he? He is living in America and still maintaining his turban and kids in India cut it…so he went to the barber next day and had him cut his long heavy hair (Deepinder Singh). The mother in this family, Sarabjeet Kaur, is very upset about his son getting his hair cut. She said, “I know he doesn’t look very good now. I was very upset. I am still grieving. He used to look so handsome when he had his long hair.” The father said that after cutting his long hair, Agampreet has become a very shy person. He hesitates to visit the Gurdwara now because people would ask him about his decision. When I saw Agampreet in the Gurdwara in one of the play groups, I couldn’t recognize him and he indeed seemed very shy. Suddenly after a few Sundays, he stopped coming to the Gurdwara at all. The family had also kept their oldest son’s Parna when he was young, but they had to cut it because of the teasing that he faced in the New York City school, rd My oldest one when he was in New York, he was going to 3 th and 4 grade there. He used to tell that boys in his class did not want him to use the restrooms saying ‘you are a girl; you can’t use boys’ restrooms’. I can’t play with girls because they tell me that I am boy. The boys wouldn’t let me play with them saying that I am a girl. Then we got his hair cut. We did not want to go and fight. It was better that he did not have this long hair. He was traumatized with his experience in school. We did not keep long hair for our middle child after this experience (Deepinder Singh). “But then we kept long hair for the youngest one. And he kept growing his hair without any problem until now because he went to school in Riverton as many children from our community were going to that school, said Sarabjeet Kaur. The father added about his oldest son, who joined the father with his mother and younger brother in the New York City that the son had initial language and adjustment challenges because “his language and Parna both put 197 him at risk of failure. But we worked very hard with him. And he worked very hard.” They hired a private tutor, who was a Puerto Rican by origin, to teach their children English. The parents decided that they would cut their son’s long hair, so that he could focus on his studies. A father in another family, which had their son’s long hair cut out of Parna when he was very young, articulated the same reason of teasing and bullying in school for cutting the long hair. “You must have seen Sukhvir Singh’s son that he had cut his turban recently. We [Sikhs] wear turban and our kids were being teased by other kids in school. They used to call them ‘girl girl’,” said Amanveer Singh. He added, “That’s why we had Amrit’s long hair cut at an early age.” Amanveer Singh, who also takes an active role in Gurdwara, went in more details when I asked him “how does you community, especially the elderly people in the community react to these children who are cutting their long hair recently?” He said, “We have no reactions. When they grow up, they cut their long hair out of their turbans. Now we have a choice to make, son or turban.’ We chose our son. They have become independent—so what can we say?” When I asked him as a community leader if he still feels that the bullying and teasing happening in schools, he said, Not anymore. In the beginning, they used to face a lot of problems in schools as children used to call them ‘girls’, but not anymore. Now you must have seen that many kids in our community have already cut their turbans. So turbans gone, problems gone (nervous laugh). Another father, Ranveer Singh, reported that his son was being teased that he looked like a girl because of his Parna, “so my wife and I decided that we wouldn’t keep his hair long.” Another family, whose children came to the United States at 13 and 11 years old, cut their long hair before coming to the United States. The mother said, “You know how sometimes kids like to be 198 others—fashionable (laughing).” Therefore, it is clear from the above examples that there were several reasons why these parents decided not to keep their children’s hair. A common reason that came up in both categories of choices (i.e., those who decided not to grow their children’s hair in first place and those who cut their children’s long hair at later stages)—these parents were aware of contemporary Sikh families in India, where Sikh boys are not maintaining their outward identity markers. These families used this fact to reconcile their grief around their children’s outward identity markers. 5.2.2. Keeping Long Hair vs. Short Hair: Type of Socialization Many parents, either based on their own experiences or based on other people’s experiences in the community made their decisions about their own children whether they should keep their hair long enough to use a Parna or short enough to avoid teasing and bullying in school. Both types of socialization, reactive and proactive, was taking place in these families. In some families, their older children faced issues with long hair, so the families’ reactions were to cut that child’s long hair and make proactive decisions about the younger child in the family. The community is tightly knit community—if something happens with someone’s child in the schools, almost everyone knows about it. Some parents used a lot of examples of the community children—who had faced such issues in schools even in past—to make decisions about whether they should keep their children’s hair long or short. The four children in the study who had kept their hair long in Parna were very young—of them two desire to cut their long hair, but their families are not allowing them to do so. As the children in the community were growing older, they became more cautious about their outward looks. Even if the parents allowed them to cut their long hair, there were some grieving moments around that in the past. Some parents talked 199 about the negotiations about what is more important and what is less important in keeping theirs and their children’s Sikh identity. For example, one of the fathers in the study said, My wife and I often talk about these things. My sons do not have turbans. But if they can show respect to us, their elders in the community, that is more important than having children who are wearing turbans but disrespecting you. Although both can happen at the same time—a kid with turban can be respectful. But if I have to choose one, I will choose values, you know. Sometimes when my children come at store—I show them these Americans sometimes—how they talk back to their parents or grandparents and I tell them, ’see this kid was so disrespectful to his parents, and do not ever do this to us or to anybody who is older than you.’ If someone is older than you, do not call him by name (as American kids do)—call that person saying uncle or aunt. So I teach them how to do their dealings with people (Amanveer Singh). In the next section, I will discuss about the strategies that these parents use in helping their children to face issues of bullying and teasing in school because of their Parnas or simply because they are from a different religious cultural group. 5.2.3. Parental Strategies: Teasing and Bullying In the last section, I discussed about how some parents took reactive and proactive stances by making decisions about keeping their children’s long hair or having them cut or not having long hair in first place—the parents used various examples in their own families and community to make their decisions. However, in one of the families, the decision of not growing their son’s hair was independent of such instances happening in the community. But the father in the family faced language discrimination in his work, which made the family to take proactive 200 steps in ‘blending with Americans.’ The families addressed several ways for their children to handle teasing and discrimination in schools: 1) Strengthening resilience to deal with teasing, 2) Teaching children to become their advocates, 3) Advocating for their children. 5.2.3.1. Strengthening Resilience to Deal with Teasing At least 3-4 parents in the study thought that teasing is very common among children in schools. They viewed that there are always a very few children who are involved in bullying, most others are good. They try to make their children understand that it is normal they should just ignore them. For example, one of the fathers in the study noted, Jaideep sometimes comes home and tells us that kids call him a girl. It’s not a big problem though. You know out of 100 kids, you will find 2 such kids everywhere. If they do not pick on your turban, they will find something else to pick on. Our children should know how to deal with them. Ignore them. They will stop teasing you. Guneet Kaur, on a similar note, said, “I tell Onkar to stay strong. Kids tease him, but I consider that it is normal among kids. I have to teach my son to be strong against such things.” Both families had busy fathers working for 12-14 hours at stores. Even though both mothers had some college education, they were hesitant in going to their children’s school and advocating for their children’s appearance. The boys in both of these families wanted to cut their long hair. 5.2.3.2. Teaching Children to Become their Own Advocates Some parents articulated that they teach their children to fight against discrimination, which is one of their Sikhi values. Historically the Gurus fought against discrimination. As one of the fathers want his children to learn, 201 If somebody is trying to dominate you—no matter how bad the other side is or no matter how bad the discrimination is—stand up for what is right...do justice. Do what you have to do at that time to fight against discrimination (Kartar Singh). Another father, Dalbir Singh, said about his son Dilpreet, “Oh he is a proud young Sikh boy. He knows how to speak for himself and I know that he will not miss it.” Another mother in the study also articulated the similar way that her children deal with that—“if someone asks Arjan about his Parna—why he wears it, he is able to tell why does he wear it and why it is important.” The parents in this category wanted their children to get educated about their cultural and religious values and history of Sikhism, so that they could gain the tools to talk about their identities— ‘why they wear turban or why they do things in a certain way?’ 5.2.3.3. Advocating for their Children Only two fathers and a mother in the study mentioned advocating for their children-one father as a reactive advocate and one father and the mother went proactively in their children’s school to teach other children and teachers about Sikh faith. These two parents, who took proactive education in the school are educated and live on the East Side of the town. The father, who advocated reactively said, That [bullying] happened with my daughter. They used to call [name of daughter] ‘Paki’ (a derogatory term used for Pakistanis), or sometimes they call her Arbi (a person from Arab) and tell her to go back to her country. Well, she is American. She was born in New York. So my wife and I went and talk to her principal. She handled it well (Dalbir Singh) The father, who went to his children’s school when the school children teased his daughter, was not very well educated. The other two parents were empowered by their education and 202 geographical location of residence. In the coming sections, I will focus on the parents’ religious and cultural socialization, the role of grandparents and elderly in the community, the Riverton Gurdwara, and the community in supporting the socialization goals of the parents. 5.2.4. Ways and Contexts of Religious and Cultural Socialization The parents in the study reported using various ways and contexts to socialize their children towards learning of their religion and culture. The ways of socialization include: 1) Creating religious cultural environment at home, 2) Modeling behaviors, 3) Religious routines and ceremonies, 4) Conversations with children (parent-initiated, child-initiated), 5) Peer modeling. The contexts of the family socialization included:1) Grandparents in the community, 2) Extended family members, 3) the Riverton Sikh community, and 4) Ties with India. 5.2.4.1. Ways of Religious and Cultural Socialization Creating Religious Cultural Environment at Home The home environment included allocating a special room to prayers, playing Punjabi spiritual music, having Indian and Punjabi channels at home, and encouraging children to read Gurbani and search information about Sikhism on the internet. Almost all the homes where I went to conduct my interviews had their living rooms decorated with pictures of the Golden Temple and the pictures and idols of their religious Gurus. They allocated a special room to their prayers—creating an environment for a living being in that room. In Sikhism, the Guru Granth Sahib is considered as alive as it is believed to guide its believers in their day-to-day life. As one of the participants put it, What we have done is we have made a room for Babaji. This is my little church at the top. We go there and pray as family. We have put pictures of our Gurus there. They 203 (children) know what time they have to go there and pray. So we have this room for our prayers upstairs (Prabhjeet Singh). “We have made a “Guru Ghar” (altar) upstairs. I make sure that my children go there in the morning and at least bow their heads before they go to school”, said Guneet Kaur. Another mother, Kanwal Kaur said about his sons going to the prayer room in their mornings. They go there and do short prayers. All our scripts are in Gurumukhi. They have always been to English medium schools. They find hard time reading Punjabi scripts. But you know that they pray in the mornings daily—just by communicating with Babaji and paying their respect by kneeling and bending on their forehead (Kanwal Kaur) Many parents also reported using Indian and Punjabi music, especially religious and spiritual, at their homes. Many parents bought spiritual CDs with English translations. One of the mothers in the study said, This morning, I played Jap ji Sahib Paath on tape. This tape had translation in English. It tells you very practical way of life, very practical ways of living your life. It tells a common person how to lead your life, what is God and why we should believe in God. And Paramjot came and he sat there with me and he listened to it very carefully. And those are exactly the same things that I would like him to get from our religion (Amandeep Kaur). Another mother in the study said that her children mentioned using a combination of reading and listening prayer materials. My husband got them English Gutka from India. My daughter was always regular when she was not married. Whenever she comes to stay overnight, she goes to the 204 room upstairs and she makes sure that she prays. Saihaj also does that in the morning. He also listens to CDs….sometimes it is a lot easier to hear than to sit and read (Gurpreet Kaur) Many families, especially those living in Central Riverton and the West Side of town, had subscribed Punjabi and Indian channels, so that their children can retain their spoken Punjabi language and the parents and the elderly grandparents can listen to Punjabi and Indian news. One of the fathers in the study said, We have no English channels in our house. We watch Indian shows, Indian movies. It is good for children. At least that way they remain in touch with their language. We try that our kids remain close to Punjabi, so that they can communicate with family members back home. And like my mother lives with us. She also enjoys Indian dramas (Ranveer Singh). At least 3-4 parents reported that they encourage their children to look up the history of Sikhism on the internet. Other parents bring Punjabi newspaper from the Gurdwara and sometimes read the news to their children. The parents in the study felt confident that the religious and cultural environment at home helps their children see “who we are and where we are coming from.” When I asked if children question about certain religious and cultural aspects of their life at home, many parents answered like, They have seen these things or this kind of environment since they were born. It is ingrained in them. Like we always cook at home. We never eat out. I always wear salwar-kameez at home. Everybody at home gets up in the morning and does paath, so they have been grown up in this environment. So they do not question these things. 205 Modeling Behaviors The parents in the study reported to model religious and cultural behaviors at home as well as in settings like in homes of extended family members, community gatherings, and in Gurdwara. As Kanwal Kaur put it, “They learn by modeling their adults, cousins, peers in the community, and by going to Gurdwara.” Another parent, Prabhjeet Singh believed that “You can’t force them to learn religion. It comes by age. They see adults and learn.” Bhupinder Kaur, who lives with her family and parent-in-laws, said, Like my father-in-law and my mother-in-law live with us. We all get up early in the morning and sit and pray. When our kids see this kind of atmosphere at home that we get up and pray in the morning, they also learn that by observing their elders. Since we are Sikhs, we have to wear Salwar Kameez, especially in Gurdwara; I always wear it and I make sure that both my daughters always wear Salwar Kameez when they go there (Gurdwara). Religious Routines and Ceremonies The families in the study reported to follow daily religious routines and ceremonies that their children observe and become part of them to pick up religious and cultural norms. Many fathers, who work at their stores for on an average 12 hours a day, and do not have time to come to Sunday services, stop by in the morning at the Gurdwara before going to their work. Religion is involved in many ceremonies that these families follow and the families in the study conducted these ceremonies to different extent. Following is the list of religious ceremonies that the participants in the study reported to do at their homes and in their community, a) Amrit Shakhna, b) Naam Sanskar Ceremony, c) Anand Karaj, d) Akhand Paath and Ardaas, e) Langar, f) Pagdi ki Rasm 206 th Amrit Shakhna. This ceremony is held at the 13 day of a child’s birth. I have observed this ceremony twice during my study. The parent or the grandparent of a new born brings the child in front of the central Palki in the Gurdwara Sahib and the priest gives a small spoon of sweet water to the new born with his blessings. Sometimes people from the family of the new born child celebrate by sponsoring langar for the child’s first visit to the Gurdwara. Naam Sanskar Ceremony. This is the naming ceremony for a newborn. The priest is requested to read Hukumnama, a religious script and the first letter of the first word in that Hukumnama is used to name the new born child. The community members participate in the ceremony because usually it happens during the Sunday services. Not everybody names their children by following this ceremony. Sikhism is practiced differently by its followers. The religion was started to condemn rituals. However, many Sikhs endorse many rituals like these ceremonies. Like one of the fathers said, It all depends on the personal choice of individuals. This is not very important— Sikhism condemns many rituals. But many parents follow this Naam Sanskar Ceremony. It happens when someone can’t bear a child; the person goes to Gurdwara and prays for a child that God blesses him with a child. At that time, sometimes people commit to Gurdwara that they will use the first letter of Guru Granth Sahib if they are blessed with this kid, you know what I mean. So it is a personal choice (Amanveer Singh). Some parents just pick any name for their children, most of the times before birth in the United States, where child’s name goes on his/her birth certificate. One of the mothers, Amandeep Kaur, read the Guru Granth Sahib at her home and with her husband selected their children’s names before they were born. Most names in Sikhism are unisex and can be used for both male as well 207 as female—it is one way to establish the gender equality. Most names are meaningful and often times, especially among the participants that I interviewed, suffixes like ‘deep’ (light), ‘preet’ (love), jot/jyot (light), kiran (ray), are being used. Sikhism emphasizes on gender, caste, and class equality. To establish caste and class equality, often times females use ‘Kaur’ and males use ‘Singh’ as their middle names, regardless of which caste the person is coming from. Both ‘Kaur’ and ‘Singh’ mean courageous. Anand Karaj. It means marriage. Usually wedding ceremonies take place in the Gurdwara Sahib. I haven’t had a chance to attend any wedding in the community during my data collection. The Sikh weddings, unlike Hindu weddings, do not follow traditional astrological norms for selection of days for wedding—they always happen on Sundays. One of the fathers in the study said, “We have told our son how we got married in Gurdwara—what ceremonies we followed. We showed him our marriage DVD. They should know how Punjabis get married. What customs and cultural ceremonies happened and all that.” Akhand Paath and Ardaas. Akhand Paath is conducted at various special occasions in this community. The occasions include but not limited to buying a new house, celebrating children’s birthday, conducting Pag ceremony (described later), marriage, festivals, and their Guru’s birthdays, etc. The holy book, Guru Granth Sahib is brought at home and the Gurdwara priest and the family members read the book for three days for certain number of hours. The third day is concluded by Keertan and inviting people for langar at the host family’s house. Sometimes for convenience, people conduct the Akhand Paath in the Gurdwara, starting from Friday and concluding that on Sunday with langar. Hukum Singh, the secretary of the Gurdwara requests the families to take responsibility of community Akhand Paath, so that community can celebrate Guru’s birthdays together. Ardaas is prayer for peace and happiness. Sometimes the families ask the priest to do Ardaas on their behalf for 208 the happiness of their children, health for sick family members, progress in their business, and better future for their children. Manjit Singh, whose son’s birthday was on the day I interviewed him, invited me to the Akhand Paath at his home. The father’s and the son’s birthdays were around the same time. Manjit Singh said, , We hold Akhand Paath at home so that we can thank God for what we have. It has been 15-16 years now that we celebrate our birthdays like that, even in the New York City, we used to do that. Each year, we bring Guru Maharaj at home and hold Akandh Paath. We also remember our Gurus on that day. People celebrate their birthdays differently. Some celebrate it by partying, some drink, some do other kinds of fun, but my family thanks God for all we have been blessed with—we thank God for our lives and our living. Another father in the study said that his family did Paath when they bought a new home. The Paath is often followed by community or family gathering and langar. When we bought this home, we did Guru Granth Sahib’s Paath. I invited all my cousins who live in the U.S. with their families and we all celebrated together my new house. We also had bhaiji do Ardaas at our home. We prayed for peace and happiness in the new house. During Akhand Paath, the families in the community gather and celebrate their Guru’s birthdays and festivals together. This is one of their main ways to teach their children about various ceremonies and rituals of their religion. Langar. It is a community lunch that accompanies every other ceremony in these families’ life. Everyone irrespective of their race, nationality, gender, class is always welcomed to the community lunch, langar. Please refer to the previously discussed explanation of the langar. 209 Pag Ceremony. Pag Ceremony is the formal commencement of manhood in boys. The maternal grandparents and uncles bring a formal ‘turban’ known as ‘Pag’ for their grandson/nephew and the ceremony is accompanied by celebrations and langar. Sometimes this ceremony takes place at people’s houses, other times it takes place in Gurdwara. One of the participants in the study, explained about this ceremony in more details. The relevance (of Pag Ceremony) is to enhance relationships between our family and my wife’s family. My kids’ pag will come from her [wife’s] family. Her brothers, my kids’ maternal uncles will bring that turban. We can use any cloth to cover our head and tie hair (Parna), but the actual Pag is brought by wife’s brothers. They will come at the Gurdwara and they will tie that turban themselves on my boys’ heads in front of the extended family members and the community people. We also do Ardaas, Akhand Paath during that ceremony. We invite people from community and have langar together. If maternal grandfather is alive, he would do that ceremony. If he is not alive then his oldest son will do the ceremony (Amanveer Singh). By conducting these ceremonies with extended family members, grandparents and community members, the families in the study explicitly socialize their children by including them as a part of ceremony. Many of these family members are celebrating children’s birthdays and other such occasions by using these religious ceremonies, the children in the community will learn about their religion and culture by participating or by witnessing these ceremonies. Other religious routines that these families follow are their regular Sunday visit to Gurdwara to pray there with other community members. Many children in the study also come to Gurdwara on Sundays with their mothers mostly. The role of Gurdwara will be illustrated in the sections that follow. 210 Conversations with Children Some parents reported to have special conversations about various religious and cultural practices with their children. Often times parents initiate these conversations; other times the children in the study ask questions about various aspects of their religion. Parents initiate various conversations around the importance of religious history and ceremonies, components of religion such as langar, and religious values like sharing and harmony. I have also observed mothers talking with their children in Gurdwara during langar, sometimes illustrating for them the importance of finishing that lunch that is being served during langar. “It is important that you finish it. This is a special food. It is like Prasad. You can’t waste it”, said one of the mothers. The men serving food often tell children, “Finish what you have in your plate before I serve you next. Do not waste any food.” Many parents noted having conversations with their children about Sikh history at several occasions—“I tell them about our Guru. I teach them some stories and try to tell how brave our Gurus were. Thing is that most of our books are in Gurumukhi. So I read them to my children”, said Guneet Kaur. She further added, I bring newspaper from Gurdwara. Have you seen Punjabi paper that comes to the Gurdwara Sahib? I often bring it home so that my children can see some Punjabi words and I read it for them….then they try to connect it to the script. Another father, Deepinder Singh, noted When my three sons sit together—we tell them that if you eat and live together as a family, as a community, respect your elders, love your youngsters, respect and love your culture and religion, it is a blessing and leads to prosperity (barkat). We should always move ahead together—if one of you is less fortunate, the other one has to help to bring him forward….they learn, they understand. I tell them that the harmony starts 211 from home. They have to live close to each other. They learn that communal harmony among Sikhs is one of our values that they need to learn. Kanwal Kaur, whose children came as adolescents in the United States said, We tell them a lot of things about our religion and its ceremonies during our day-today conversations. When they would go to bed, we tell them to ‘recite Sat Nam’ before going to bed. My kids grew up studying at a school in India that had a religion oriented philosophy. They had a subject in school on “Divinity”—they used to teach all these Guru Mantra, Guru Prasad (langar), history of 10 Gurus; recite the names of these ten Gurus. The school used to tell them that all the upcoming religious events. They used to hear stories about Sahabjiyadas—they would come home and tell us a thing or two—they knew more than us for sure. That’s why my children have a lot of knowledge about Sikhism. The parents in the study took many opportunities to talk on various topics of religion and culture during various conversations. At other times, the children initiated questions from parents. When children see the home and Gurdwara environment structured around their culture and religion, they ask questions of their parents or grandparents about “why they do certain things in this way or that way, and the way that is different than American way? About the festivals that we celebrate.” As one of the mothers said, “That’s why we take them to the Gurdwara. They go there, see things, learn, and if they do not understand those things, they ask questions you know.” Another mother said, “They ask questions. What are the names of our ten Gurus? What did they do for us? They ask about our history of Sikhism. When we have a festival, we tell them the significance of how we celebrate it.” Many parents in the study reported to answer their children’s questions. Others felt this task as a challenging one—one of the mothers, as she put it, 212 I do not have answers for those questions and I feel bad because I have never been told the reasons also and I never asked—I just picked up from my parents. Everybody that was around was doing the same things. I haven’t experienced it much earlier, but he is asking those questions now as he is growing up. One of the fathers also noted a similar challenge, It is difficult. They are getting their education in the United States. Sometimes they tell us that the religion is just opposite to science what they learn in schools. Sometimes they challenge some things in our religion. Then it becomes hard. The parents of teenagers encourage their children to consult literature and internet to know more about Sikh history, the Sikh Gurus, and about Punjabi culture. Komalpreet Kaur proudly said, They used to ask, but their father encouraged them to look up on internet…now they search for themselves when they have questions about religion. When Jaideep and Jasleen come back from Gurdwara and are curious about any part of Sikh history, mostly my daughter would put that question on internet and take out the complete history. For example, the other day Jasleen was curious about 5 Sahabjades…so she came back and she googled them. They also tell us that this had happened or that had happened (laughing). The parents in the study informed their children about Sikh religion and culture by initiating conversations, answering to their children’s questions, and encouraging children to explore about their religion by searching internet and other relevant literature. The parents also reported challenges in answering the questions because they never questioned their parents about religious and cultural practices while growing up in India. Both aspects were ingrained 213 in their day-to-day life. Some parents also reported difficulties in conversations about religion when their children in schools were learning about scientific framework of life and living beings. Peer Modeling In the context of this study, peers include siblings, cousins, and community peers. Many parents give their children examples of their cousins and community peers ‘to learn’ and ‘not to learn’ some religious, cultural, and behavioral aspects. For example, Jasleen Kaur, a mother of two boys said, “I want them to keep their hair long for turban. We did not keep our younger son’s when he was young. But when he was growing up, he saw his brother and wanted to grow his hair like paaji (older brother).” Another father, Manjit Singh, said, “I want my children to learn from their cousins—how well they are doing in studies and even if [name of cousin] is 20, he doesn’t have a girlfriend.” One of the fathers in the study noted that “I would like my children to sit quietly and listen to the Keertan and not jumping around like other children. That’s how I want them to pay respect to Gurdwara.” The children in the community also see their older peers in Gurdwara and learn from them. However, the community is worried that when older children are cutting their hair out of their Parna, younger children may follow their footsteps. Many parents also do not want their boys to fall back on family business as some of the older children are working on their fathers’ stores. In the Gurdwara on Sundays, the young children help the priests in distributing napkins for Prasad, plates, water, and napkins during langar by modeling each other. “They develop the bond with other kids and families in the community when they see each other more often”, said one of the mothers. In the following section, I will discuss the contexts of parent socialization that include support from grandparents, extended family members, and the Riverton Gurdwara. 214 5.2.4.2. Contexts of Religious and Cultural Socialization Grandparents in the Community The grandparents in the community play an important role in supporting socialization roles of parents. All the elderly men that I see in Gurdwara on regular basis wear full turban and many of them have tasted Amrit. According to this ceremony, once someone tastes the Amrit (Nectar), the person has to abide by certain principles. As one of the fathers in the study explained, Amritdhari Sikhs wear dastar (turban), carries a sword, have beard and moustache, they have tasted Amrit. There are many restrictions on these Sikhs. They can’t eat meat or drink alcohol either. I am a non-Amritdhari. We are also Sikhs but we do not follow that strong regimen. Amritdharis and non-Amritdharis both believe in Guru Granth Sahib, our Holy Book. The grandparents in the community play an important role in running the Riverton Gurdwara, starting from its management to its maintenance. Hukum Singh is the secretary of the Gurdwara Organizing Committee. His wife Rajo Kaur helps in organizing community lunch and holding women together for its preparation. Another elderly person, Joginder Singh, who lives in a nearby town, Jones, come every Sunday with his wife to see their married daughter and her children in Riverton. The elderly couple also visits Gurdwara frequently. Hukum Singh has other family members in the New York City. Whenever he goes to the New York City or India, he always brings many artifacts, books, scriptures, and utensils for the Gurdwara. Last time when Joginder Singh visited India, he brought lots of books for children on Sikhism and maintained a small library in the Gurdwara building. The children in the community are constantly encouraged to loan out the books from the Gurdwara library. 215 The elderly people in the community also take on the responsibility of disciplining children. First they request the parents to keep their children quiet during services. And if the parents can’t control their children, many elderly people take liberty to tell children to sit quietly and listen to the Keertan and Shabad. “You should be strict with our children. They are very rowdy sometimes”, at least 2-3 elderly people told me when I was doing the play group activities. “I do not understand why parents can’t control their children. This is God’s place. We have high respect for this place. But if they can’t we will discipline their children”, said Jasvinder Singh, an elderly man who works in a nearby city and comes every weekend to stay with his adult son and family and also spends a substantial amount of time on Sundays in the Gurdwara. The grandparents in the study take care of their grandchildren in their parents’ absence; some grandfathers in the community also help their adult sons at their stores part-time. Besides helping their adult children in day-to-day functions, the grandparents in the community also play a crucial role in religious and cultural socialization of their grandchildren. Almost all grandparents in their focus group are worried about their grandchildren’s generation. The grandparents talked in general about the children in the community most of the times. “They are sometimes disrespectful. I’m not saying that they do not touch my feet or do not say Sat Shri Akal, many of them, especially boys, come here and play with their electronics”, said Hukum Singh. “Running around is also a lack of respect”, added Jasvinder Singh. “Sometimes the neighbors come and tell us that the kids were playing outside last Sunday and were bothering them”, said Shamsher Singh, the Gurdwara priest. Many grandparents as well as parents noted an active role of grandparents in upbringing, education, and religious socialization of their grandchildren. One of the grandparents in the study 216 noted, “All our Gurus had families. Similarly it is very important for us to take care of our children’s families and do our prayers. It is our responsibility. Mannai Parvaari Saadhar, which means we are faithful to our families.” Sr. Joginder Singh talked about role of grandparents in helping their grandchildren learn about religion and the way to God’s house, “Saajan Bandh Sumitra, So Har Naam Hirdai Dae-e—Those who implant the Lord’s name within my heart are my friends and well-wishers. We are our grandchildren’s well-wishers. So it is our responsibility to teach our children.” In the Gurdwara, many grandparents bring their grandchildren with them and they take care of them when the parents enjoy the worship and services. The grandparents in the study also help their grandchildren with their homework, stay home to give them food and take care of them while parents are away at work. The only grandmother in the focus group noted that “I help my daughter-in-law in her responsibilities while she is away at work. I have two daughters living in the same town. So I just float around as I am needed.” One of the fathers in the community noted, “It is a true blessing for us, specially my children who get all the love from their grandparents.” The grandparents in the community take an active role in celebrating festivals and different ceremonies of religion. They also celebrate their grandchildren’s birthdays by arranging ceremonious gatherings and parties thereafter. Another father in the community, whose parents are also living with him said, My son listens to his grandparents. So in a way my parents are parenting my son as well (laughing). I hope he will be a good person when he grows up. I have this sense that he will not go to bad company given how sincere he is with us and his grandparents. One of the mothers talked about how her mother-in-law helps train her daughter in household chores, 217 My daughter should take some interest in cooking and household chores now. My mother-in-law involves her and she listens to them (parent-in-laws). They also help me in cleaning. My in-laws also tell my children to help me when I clean. So it is really good. They also tell them ‘what to do’ ‘what not to do’ ‘what is acceptable’ and ‘what is not acceptable’ in our culture. The grandparents also answer questions about religion and culture for their grandchildren. “And Paramjot sits with Nanaji [maternal grandfather]. My father and my father-in-law are very religious minded and there is frequent talk about God and he asks questions”, said Amandeep Kaur. Jasleen Kaur, another mother in the study also said, “Sometimes they sit with my parents who teach them a lot about our religion and culture. That’s why we take them to Gurdwara so that they ask questions.” Many other families stay in touch with the grandparents living in India by using technology, “My children skype with them on every other day, if not daily. They do video chatting or we also call them and talk to them. Let me say this—we talk to the extent that we do not feel the distances.” The grandparents who live in India also provide religious and spiritual guidance to their grandchildren through skype. As mentioned before, one of the families went in details of how their son is keeping his hair long in Parna because his grandfather from India chats with him and explains the importance on long hair in Sikhism. All the grandparents who participated in the focus group noted that the relationship with their grandchildren was mutually beneficial to them. “I love them. I feel very happy to see them every weekend. They and I look forward to this time”, said Jasvinder Singh. 218 Extended Family Members Almost all the families in the study have extended family members living in the United States and many of them have their relatives and extended family members in the Riverton area (please refer to figure 7, p. 125). Most of the West and the Central side families socialize with their extended families. Two families that live on the East Side of Riverton also have friends outside of their community and their children interact with non-Punjabi and non-Indian children outside of their school more frequently as compared to the West and the Central side families. When I asked the parents living in the West and the Central side of the city about their neighbors and friends, most of them reported interacting only with Punjabi families. In these families particularly, children’s friends are their cousins. They may have interactions with their classmates, but they do not bring them at home or do not go to their homes for parties. In most religious and cultural ceremonies, all the guests are their relatives or community members. “When guests come at my house, or some guests come at my sister-in-law’s house, we go there, cook together, and attend guests together. Sometimes we meet with each other (sister-in-law and we) for tea in the evening”, said Kanwal Kaur. The Riverton Sikh Community In this section, I will discuss the role of the Riverton Gurdwara, community leaders, the community making its presence in the larger setting, and men’s broader view of Sikh community. The Riverton Gurdwara. The Riverton Gurdwara holds an important place for the Sikh community. It started in the year 2004. The families in the area meet new families coming to the area. Sometimes Sikh families from nearby cities come for Sunday services and get to know the families living in Riverton. The families that participated in the study listed several reasons for 219 coming to the Gurdwara with their children: a) Socio Cultural reasons, and b) Positive Engagement, 3) Religious reasons. Sociocultural Reasons. Many parents noted that they want their children to learn social culture in Gurdwara. One of the fathers, Kartar Singh, talked about his socio-cultural goals for his children, They [children] should know about Indian culture. They go to Gurdwara with us every Sunday, for learning the culture. They know more about, what you say, social culture, but not much about religion. The reason is—I have personally kept them out of religion. I feel that religion sometimes bring animosity. Kartar Singh talked about his difficulties at work because of his Punjabi accent. When I asked him how he overcame his challenges. He went in great lengths about ‘learning other’s ways’ as a way to adapt in the U.S. society. He said that he did not want to remain attached to his religion because “I could have lived in India if that was my goal.” He wants his children to learn the social culture in the Gurdwara than learning the religion. Other parents also feel that coming to the Gurdwara every Sunday helps their children connect with peers in their community. Many children, especially younger group of boys and girls, look forward to see their friends in the community for Sunday services. Some parents believe that by going to Gurdwara, their children learn about communal harmony. “They also learn the communal harmony, like everyone in community mix with each other, help each other when needed, and join everyone in thick and thin. This is a good thing”, said Deepinder Singh. The families also gather in the Gurdwara with their children to celebrate various Punjabi festivals together. “Children learn by observing and by being part of the festivals”, said Jasleen Kaur. The parents in the study also get a chance to see their Punjabi peers, whom sometimes do not get a chance to see each other. 220 Positive Engagement. Many fathers in the study, who rarely come to the Gurdwara to attend the Sunday services due to their heavy work load at that time, noted in their interviews that “even though we are not there, we know that our children are positively engaged. They are not taking drugs anywhere.” “I tell my kids that they will learn a great deal—they will not lose anything. You will bring something good back from the Gurdwara, said Manjit Singh. “There is some etiquette that we want our children to follow when they are in the Gurdwara, so they learn something positive,” said Shamsher Singh, the Gurdwara priest, commonly referred as Bhaiji, Babaji, or Paathi ji. Jasleen Kaur, a mother of two boys, also added, I tell them to sit quietly and listen to what Bhaiji sings there. We have to pay respect to our religious place. So I try that they sit quietly and listen. I also tell them if they see some older relative, touch his/her feet as to show respect. One of the fathers in the study said, “If Saihaj’s mom goes to Gurdwara, I am at store…we do not want him to sit at home. He can use that time productively there. We only excuse him (from the Gurdwara) when he has some school work to do.” Another participant, Simran Kaur, who was interviewed as proxy for her mother described the environment of Gurdwara as peaceful and a place to pray and wants her brother to engage positively. “I find a lot of peace in Gurdwara. I hope Dilpreet can learn something there too.” Kanwal Kaur, a mother of two sons, said, It’s the environment that provides strength. My son goes there in the morning before starting his day. He feels happy all day. For younger kids who come their regularly, they learn great values of our religion by visiting Gurdwara on Sundays. The environment is so pious and very conducive to learn about religion. 221 The parents in the study reiterated the importance of the Riverton Gurdwara in positive engagement of their children. They wanted them to learn the social culture, mannerisms, and safe from anti-social behaviors by taking them to the Gurdwara. Religious Behaviors. Some parents in the study noted that children learn various religious behaviors that help them build their characters at the Gurdwara. Many parents noted that the Gurdwara Sahib helps their children to learn various core values of the Sikh religion. For example, Kartar Singh, a father of two children, wants his children to learn the value of equality. He thinks by going to Gurdwara, his children learn the value of equality: We do not differentiate between classes—go to the Gurdwara, if you are a poor person or a rich person. You take out your shoes, you cover your head in respect—you serve food to community, so those are some of the things that we do in Gurdwara. My kids should know that we all are made equal—nobody is rich or poor, big or small. For God, everyone is same and that’s why everyone behaves in the same way. Other parents think that the Gurdwara provides their children the environment to learn sewa (service). Children learn sewa from each other by modeling, “they learn from other kids in Gurdwara, you know how children compete sometimes. Then bhaiji also encourages kids to get involved in those kinds of activities”, said Deepinder Singh. During the langar and Prasad distribution, the staff members of the Gurdwara involve children to teach them the concept of service. After the Sunday services, children help the staff to fold the carpets in the prayer hall. As mentioned earlier, the girls in the community help the women in the community in putting butter on chapattis and washing dishes. One time when I was running the playgroup in the dining hall during the Keertan, one of the staff members came downstairs and requested me to involve children in cleaning after the playgroup to teach them the concept of Sewa. 222 Many parents also come to Gurdwara with an objective for their children to learn about praise of God and history of Sikhism through the Shabad, the praise of God. “You come there and you must be observing how Bhaiji sings shabad and we want the kids to learn those shabad”, said Kanwal Kaur. Another mother said, We ask them to go there and hear what Paathi ji is singing for us. Sit and listen to the praise that he is singing about all the Gurus. You will learn your history if you pay attention to what he is singing. We encourage children to learn those things— otherwise they will forget the lessons (Sarabjeet Kaur). The Gurdwara organizing committee invited a teacher to teach Punjabi language in Gurdwara to the children in the community. The classes couldn’t run for a long time due to low attendance by the children. “And the kids were not disciplined”, said Kanwal Kaur. Many children that I interviewed come with their mothers or other relatives to the Sunday services in Gurdwara. All but one father reported that if they are not able to go to the Sunday service, they go in the morning to offer their prayers before going to their work. Mothers, grandparents, and other relatives bring their children to stores. Many older sons help their fathers in stores—they come either on the Sunday morning before the Sunday services. Many fathers believe that taking children to Gurdwara and teaching about religion are mothers’ responsibilities. For example, Ravinder Singh, who is busy at his store from 12 noon to midnight, explains, “I do not go to Gurdwara with my children. My wife takes them every Sunday. It is her turf. She sometimes goes with my sister or with sister-in-law.” He further added, “I do not contribute much to my children’s life, I guess, except I earn “roti” (bread) for them. I try but I am really busy.” Community Leaders. The study participants also talked about one of the religious leaders, commonly referred to as Babaji, who come from India every year in summer to stay in the 223 community and special religious events are organized in the Riverton Gurdwara and at people’s houses during his stay in the Riverton area. “When our Babaji from India comes, people from our community come and visit him. Babaji usually stays at our house. We also do many events when he stays with us,” said Prabhjeet Singh. “It is always a busy time. Some people hold Paath; some do other prayers, depending on Babaji’s travel plans. At that time, we visit those families”, added Kanwal Kaur. The children in the families also attend these events. During the Gurdwara playgroup, many young children and older girls made card for Babaji on one of the Sundays as he was leaving for India. A few fathers also talked about another community leader, one of the professors in the Riverton Community College, Late Dr. Singh, who was a Sikh himself; he advocated about the identity of the Sikhs and their children in the Riverton area. One of the fathers in the study said, We used to have a very nice person in our community. His name was Dr. Singh; he did a lot for Sikhism back then in the Riverton area. When we started to settle here—our kids especially those who wore Parna in schools faced a lot of issues and problems in schools. Dr. Singh went to all the schools in the area and created awareness in all the schools. We wear turban and our kids were being teased by other kids in school. They used to call them ‘girl girl’. He went to every school to protest such teasing. He was like an additional substitute teacher. He would wear his turban and would go to each school and teach the children about Sikhism. He provided all the books on Sikhism in the Riverton school libraries. (Amanveer Singh). Another father added, 224 He (Dr. Singh) used to come to Gurdwara, used to bring other non-Sikhs, and non-Indians to Gurdwara to teach them and he also advocated in schools. I have met him several times, but unfortunately he died before my kids started going to schools. He was a very nice man (Deepinder Singh). After Dr. Singh’s death many years ago, the community couldn’t find any leader to educate general public and schools about the Sikh religion. This was due to lack of education in the community itself. Making Presence in Community. The community holds an Annual Sikh Day parade in the downtown Riverton and invites people from the outer community to attend the parade. Although after Dr. Singh’s death, not many of these parents went to their children’s school to advocate against teasing and biases, they have made a bigger presence in the city by holding this parade in lieu of their festival, Vaishakhi. In the leadership of Hukum Singh, with their persistent efforts, the Sikhs of Riverton got permission to hold this parade every year. One of the participants in the study elaborated, Every year, we celebrate our anniversary of inception of our religion, which was 13 April, 1699—this day Shri Guru Gobind Singh released that we are Khalsa, the pure…we were Sikh before that, but that day, Guru Gobind Singh made it more official. We celebrate Vaishakhi on that day. On Vaishakhi in the United States, the month of April is very very important –in India in Punjabi, we call it Nagar Keertan. But in the United States, we call it Sikh Annual Parade. It is very important in the United States because this is the day when we get this opportunity to educate people about our faith and religion. People come from different cities and states on that very day to attend that Annual parade (Amanveer Singh) 225 This year, I got the opportunity to attend the Annual Day parade. There were Sikh communities from 4 different states and 15 different cities that attended the parade. The Riverton Sikh community hosted the other Sikh communities from the area. The Riverton community used me as their liaison to speak with the Food and Environmental safety inspectors due to my education and facility with language. The community wanted me to explain the ingredients and cooking of the food that was to be served as breakfast and lunch. Besides talking with these inspectors, I provided my 3 hours Sewa (Service) in serving food. After breakfast, all the communities holding the banners of their cities and states marched around the streets of the Riverton downtown area. There were cultural programs, community breakfast and lunch, martial arts demonstrations, tableau of their religious book, and parade in River downtown with a procession of Sikhs from different places under their banners. There was an open cart full of the community children wearing colorful dresses and head scarves.. There was a group of young Sikh adults, who were college students in nearby town came to showcase their martial arts skills, a part of Sikh’s historical and cultural heritage. The Sikh Gurus, who wanted their people to protect themselves from injustice, learned and taught martial arts to their community at that time. Overall, the parade showcased the religious and cultural heritage of Sikhs. As one of the participants put it, We all assemble in the downtown. There are some shows about history of religion, how our Gurus fought for our freedom, what does Sikhism teach us….those kinds of things. And when kids see each other there, they learn among each other. There is community food after the parade. There are lots of other activities for kids that they do in this festival (Guneet Kaur) 226 “We distribute books about Sikhism on the Sikh day parade. We also have lots of media coverage—newspaper, TV channels on that day”, said Manjit Singh. The other way that many men use to educate people about their religion and faith is to bring non-Indian or non-Punjabi visitors to the Riverton Gurdwara. At least two youth in the community brought trips of students from their college, who were studying about world religions in their classes. “I volunteered when the professor asked if someone can suggest a (religious congregation) place to visit”, said Satkiran. Broader Community View. The men in the community keep themselves abreast with news about other Sikhs in the United States—they are aware of other bias incidents happened with other Sikh fellows. The Sikhs in this community are also aware of happenings with other ethnic groups and support these groups when needed. For example, when the pastor from Florida raised antiMuslim sentiments in the Riverton area, many Sikhs from the community attended the protest with other ethnic groups in support of Muslims in the Riverton area. They also take pride in the fact that Sikhs are recruited in the U.S. army now while keeping their turban and beard. One of the community members proudly said, “We have Gill and Dillon in the senate now. We have a daughter of Sikh in the senate who got married to a White man. So we are in politics now.” At least two Sikh participants also noted that it has become easier for more and more people to know about the faith since Dr. Manmohan Singh became Prime Minister of India for two terms now, “People in the world know who we are—who Sikhs are. So I have developed some confidence too (laughing). So I wear this cloth to cover my head when my hairs are still in growing stage”, said Ranveer Singh. The families also visit nearby Gurdwara in the state and outside of state to attend special programs. One of the participants shared, 227 Like we received a phone call from [name of city] that they have a program there on Saturday, so we will go there to show support for community. We have been developing these chains so that our community can stay intact. We usually try to visit different events in the state Gurdwaras so that people in our community feel supported. It was mostly men, who developed the broader view of their community and made efforts in connecting to the broader Sikh community in the United States. They made conscious efforts to show their presence in the community. However, due to lack of education in the community, the families were not proactive in going to the schools to educate children and teachers about their Sikh faith. Ties with India Almost all the families in the study have relatives and extended family members living in India. Some parents in the study noted that they take their children to India once a year so that they can meet their extended family members in India and learn about Indian values. The families feel that it is important for the children to know their relatives in India. Many parents also reported that their children talk on a regular basis with their grandparents and extended family members in India by phone or skype. It is clear from the ways that parents use to socialize their children are explicit and implicit, proactive and reactive, and at all levels of children’s ecosystem. The parents’ contexts in the study such as support from grandparents, extended family members, and the Gurdwara, were important to consider. In the next section, I will discuss about the factors that affect parents’ socialization. 228 5.2.5. Factors affecting Parent Socialization In this section, I will discuss the factors that the participants mentioned to affecting their socialization practices. These factors included: 1) Age of Children, 2) Parents’ Gender, 3) Parents’ Work Hours, 3) Parents’ Own Experiences, 4) Support System, 5) Competing Contexts, 6) Cultural Fossilization Age of Children The parents of young children (10-13 years old) viewed that it’s easier to teach younger children about their culture and religion when they are still young. These parents felt confident at this time that their children still listen to them and maintain their cultural and religious norms, but they said, When kids become teenagers or high schoolers, then they do that [not listening to parents]. We may have to face that very soon, who knows. They will know more about their outer surroundings when they grow up. They are still listening to us. When they go to high school, then they get those wings to fly (laughing)…(Komalpreet Kaur) More young children were keeping their long hair in Parna, whereas the older children were cutting their hair, sometimes against their parents’ wish. As one of the parents put it about his 10 years old son, Onkar insists to cut his hair. But he is a child. He understands it that he has to keep his hair as a Sikh boy. You know when children grow up, they cut their hair. He is still under our control. Once he grows up, he will go by his choice as others are going (laughing). 229 The young children (10-13 years) were still listening to their parents in terms of keeping their outward identity markers and visiting the Gurdwara on regular basis. The older youth in the community used to visit the Gurdwara, but not necessarily during the Sunday service, because they were also helping their fathers at their convenience stores. However, due to peer modeling, often times the young children in the community wanted to follow the footsteps of their older cousins and peers in the community. Parents’ Gender Even though many fathers in the study started off with a common statement, “what do I do to teach my children, that’s my wife’s job”, it turned out that the fathers played a crucial role in their children’s socialization. If parents’ roles can be defined in one word for each, then the mother’s word would be ‘teaching’ and father’s word would be ‘protection’—protection from drugs and alcohol abuse, protection from discrimination and teaching of culture, religion, and appropriate behaviors. Mostly the mothers brought their children to the Sunday services in the Gurdwara. The fathers had a broader community view to protect their children as a bigger Sikh community that they establish by being involved in various community activities throughout the country. Many fathers, particularly who are in the leadership roles in the Riverton Gurdwara organizing community, maintain ties with other Sikh communities in the United States. Most fathers in the community keep informed about the national and international Sikh community through the Punjabi newspaper that they subscribe through the Gurdwara and the Punjabi channels that they have at their homes. The fathers in the study also talked about the phenomenon of ‘cultural fossilization’ in details. I will discuss this phenomenon in the upcoming section. 230 In terms of their children’s teaching their children about religion and culture, the mothers’ roles were mostly involving their children in prayers at home, bringing them to the Gurdwara, connecting them to their Sikh peers in the community, and teaching their children the cultural and religious values. In terms of educational socialization, the mothers in the study were mostly responsible in helping their children with homework or requesting a cousin to help their children. The mothers and grandparents were responsible for monitoring of homework. The fathers provided monetary resources for their children’s education. The mothers talked more about connecting their children with outside of community resources. For example, many mothers talked to me if I could provide their children guidance in selecting their majors or connect them with different resources at my University. Parents’ Work Hours Some families, where both parents were working, found it challenging to socialize their children towards culture and religion. In those cases, their agenda was prioritized to fulfilling the basic necessities for their children, like cooking and helping them with homework. For example, one of the mothers said, Well, I do not have time to teach them religion and sewa at home. I come back tired too. Sometimes they also do not listen to me and sometimes I am way too tired to discipline them. I always have other things on my agenda—like cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishwashing…if I can finish those things after working very hard at my work….I am done with the day. Sometimes I have to help them with homework too. So, I just do not worry about that too much, you know! Their daddy doesn’t have much time either. He is also sick many times (Harjot Kaur). 231 The dual earner families reported more challenges in socializing their children towards religion and culture due to lack of time after their work hours. But many of these families, especially the mothers along with their children, regularly visited the Gurdwara Sunday services. Parents’ Experiences How much religion and culture should be taught, what part should be taught and how it should taught—answers to all these questions were based on parents’ own experiences, as individuals and as parents of these children, in the United States. Many parents talked about compromises that they made in terms of securing work and keeping their outward identity markers, adaptation to their new country, modifications that they made in practicing their religion, and strength they showed in face of discrimination. Based on their own experiences, they defined their socialization agenda. For example, Kartar Singh, who faced discrimination at his work, wanted his children to learn only the core values of the religion and sociocultural aspect of the religion. He did not want his son to grow his hair. There was another mother, Harjot Kaur, who noted that due to constant inquiries that her husband handles about his appearance at his store, the family decided that their sons would not grow their hair. After the 9/11 attacks happened and in general Sikhs faced a backlash and hatred crimes of mistaken identities, many of these parents, even though they were not affected directly, made their decisions. When they moved to the Riverton area, in schools where there was no awareness about the Sikh faith; their community children were being teased and bullied based on their outward identity markers. The confluence of media news and awareness through the community shaped their ideologies of what should be taught to their children. One of the fathers talked in great lengths that he was being discriminated because of his accent and language in his profession. He said, 232 I have felt discriminated. I have been in this field for 15 years—I have very good understanding for medical field, but when it comes to promotion to a higher position, it goes to a White male or female. Why not me? Because I speak different and of course, for those positions you have to manage your under staff you know, be able to service, be able to express in a proper way. They always have this prior assumption that I may not be able to do that. With the same qualification and higher experience, I will not get it. I could not find any justification for it other than they have something like that you know—it is discrimination they are Americans and they are Whites. He further added, I feel that this is clear discrimination because I have higher experience; I have higher commendations you know. I meet the entire criterion for promotion. I get promotions if nobody else can take that position. I am starting my own business very soon. It does take some efforts to establish a business. Sometimes people do not want to come sometimes because the name doesn’t sound like Kajlowski, John Smith or something like them or maybe sometimes I get some patients who belong to our community who feel that way. But it totally depends on how you take it. These problems are always there. Nobody speaks about them. If you are asking how I feel, that’s how I feel. This father did not want his children to learn Punjabi in the first place because he felt discriminated based on his language and accent. However, the mother showed more resilience when she had to change her major because she was not getting enough wages for her work based on her qualifications from India. She takes most responsibility in explicitly socializing her children towards the Sikh religion and culture. The father focuses on teaching intrinsic values of religion 233 and social culture to his children. Another participant, Amanveer Singh, also showed resilience in the increased surveillance on airports after 9/11 attacks, he said, We never had such issues in this country before. But after 9/11, it is just impossible to pass the security without having any hassles. In the beginning right after that, they would ask us to take out our turban, but these days, they just check without asking to take it off. However, if they suspect someone, then they make sure that the person takes off his turban. It is a problem, but I believe that this is a safety issue. If I have to take off turban for the officers to ensure safety for 700-1000 people traveling in day, why not? At least they will be satisfied with their security checks. I do not like when people discriminate against you—but I also do not agree that you do not want to take off your turban for the safety of so many passengers at the airport. Even though this father showed resilience, but the family decided for their sons not to keep turban because “they might face discrimination based on their outward appearances.” The family’s focus is to teach him good values of religion. On a similar issue, another father, Prabhjeet Singh, using an analogy said, I do not know. They confuse me with Pakistani, Arab, or Muslim sometimes. But I consider this as normal. I look like Arabic. But you know this is normal. I do not know the difference between people of German or French decent, so why should I expect them to understand that. This father considered it to be normal if people are unaware of his national origin and consider him a Muslim. Ravinder Singh, who decided to keep outward identity markers for his son, illustrated a good example of forgiveness in response to people mistreating him at his store. 234 It is very natural to misunderstand the nationalities. How would they know that we are from India anyway? So they still ask us where are we from? However, there are some people who do not work, when they are short of money and we refuse to give them things on credit, they use abusive language and they will say things like, “You asshole Arabs”. But we understand the reason behind it. The same person would come again and say, ‘Sorry man, I was kinda drunk yesterday.’ So you know, it doesn’t matter what they say. If they say these things, they will haunt them for a long time. Almost all the parents in the study, when asked where do they consider home—India or the U.S. , they mentioned that the United States was their home. Based on their belongingness to this country, they provide those tools to their children to be successful in this country. Support System When I asked parents if they find it easy to keep their Sikh identity and socialize their children towards it, they said, “It has been easy because we have other Sikh families too. It has also been difficult at the same time because sometimes you have to make compromises to gain something.” One of the mothers in the study said, It is easy—not that difficult. Nobody interferes with who we are and how we want to follow our religion. Even though we are living in the United States, we can follow our religion on our terms within laws. So, this is the beauty of this country (Komalpreet K). Living in a community has helped most parents in socializing their children toward their religion and culture. Since they meet with their extended family members in the area on a regular basis, many of them find it easy to teach their children about their religion and culture. 235 Competing Contexts Some parents in the study noted the dissonance between the socialization at home and in school. One of the fathers, Pardeep Singh, said, We did not keep their turban since they were born because we did not want them to deal with any crap in school as school teaches different things. Obviously they do not go there to learn about Sikhism or just Indian culture. They learn various things. Things are much easier if home and school are same, like in India. On a similar note, Harkiran Kaur, the mother of two boys, noted, “It’s not that easy because your kids are growing up here. They learn different things in school. But it is not difficult either because we have a big community here that helps.” One of the fathers in the study mentioned the challenges around the competing socialization contexts like school, “where children spend most of their day and learn American culture, so it is difficult.” Cultural Fossilization At least 3-4 fathers and a grandparent noted that India is changing fast. They feel that their children are still more respectful than the children growing up in India. One of the fathers went in details about comparing two country’s socialization contexts and individual differences within communities and cultures, It is changing there (in India). We are carrying it with us. For example, I belong to a Punjabi Sikh community. I ask how many Sikhs follow their religion and culture in India. I look at culture as being respectful, being friendly, learn about other people, learn some good manners no matter who is teaching you that and do some good deeds. And you look back in India, things are changing too. They are drinking, they are not going to work, not keeping their hair or beard as previous generation used to, everybody is trying to 236 modernize, having affairs outside of marriage which is not very well respected in the cultures you know, and saying that our culture is the best but again when we come over here then again it’s a split story—people who have that kind of determination to keep the cultural values that they have brought from India when they came here. I am nobody to judge. But people are doing it in evolutionary manner. It is changing in India for sure (Kartar Singh). Kartar Singh further added, And it is to individual level too. For example if a Sikh is beating his brother, that doesn’t mean that I will do the same thing because I look like you. People are different within their own cultures. Even two brothers are different. I have lots of respect for other cultures and I am not necessarily stick to my own values. If I have something better to learn from other cultures, I do that. The fathers in the study came much earlier than the mothers in the family and at a much younger age. The fathers were more acculturated than the mothers in the study. At least two to three fathers talked about that the world is changing and they should sometimes change as a parent too. Ravinder Singh illustrated it with an example, It is better that you listen to them (your children). Maybe they have some logics that work better than our logic. So as parents we have to change—I feel that is the only way we can keep our children with us. Our parents were so insistent on things that things should be done their way—but I feel that we should also listen to them and see if they have to offer something better than us. The world is changing fast. 237 Due to globalization and advancements in technology, parents, especially the fathers were aware of the changing picture of India. Moreover, they were more acculturated than mothers and accepted that they had to keep pace with their children in keeping their children with them. 238 CHAPTER 6 SUMMARY AND IMPLICATIONS The current chapter summarizes the findings of the study, connects them with the existing literature, and suggests future implications. The chapter is organized into the following sections: 1) Summary of Findings, 2) Discussion, 3) Future Implications, 4) Limitations, and 5) Conclusion and Future Directions. 6.1. Summary of Findings The current year-long ethnographic work was undertaken in a close-knit Sikh community in the Riverton area to explore parent socialization practices of the parents who came to the United States after 1984 communal riots in India—a major push force for this wave of Sikh immigrants (Fitzgerald, 2009; Mann, 2006). The Sikh community started to settle down in the area between 1999 and 2001. Most of these men came as adolescents and young adults to New York City to find jobs (Portes & Rambaut, 1990; Takenaka, 2005). Already existing networks of relatives and friends helped them navigate their new American life and work (Massey et al., 2003). Initially they started their work as restaurant and construction workers; gradually they moved to taxi driving in New York City. The men faced many initial challenges such as working on low wages, living in cramped apartments, and navigating American life but also reported many individual and relational protective factors in their life that helped them fare well in the new country (Masten & Powell, 2003). The women in the study came a lot later than their husbands with one or two exceptions. On average women were more educated than men, but 239 spent less time in the United States than their husbands. Most women in the study remained homemakers after their migration to New York City. The families started buying businesses in the Riverton area (mostly convenience stores). Besides buying businesses, the families considered Riverton as a family friendly place—a better place to raise children away from busy life of New York—they wanted their children to go to a better public school system, which, unlike New York, was violence free, in the minds of many fathers in the study. Many fathers in the study considered owning businesses as a ladder to social mobility. The families in the study were living in three different neighborhoods in the city—more educated families living in a diverse and high class neighborhood with a better school system. They also wanted to move to a smaller place so that they could have a tight-knit community, where they could collectively monitor their children’s activities in schools and community. In 2004, the elderly people and many men in the community started feeling a need for a central place for families to socialize and pray—Sr. Hukum Singh, one of the senior members, in the community in his leadership and with community efforts, started the Riverton Gurdwara in a building. He, with his persistent efforts, persuaded the city officials to give the community permission to hold their annual day parade in April every year to demonstrate culture, religion, and Sikh solidarity. The congregation not only holds Sunday services, but also houses many cultural festivities that the Sikh families in the Riverton area celebrate together. The Riverton Gurdwara also serves as a place for meetings with relatives and extended family members. The families in the study took pride in describing their big family kinship networks in the city. They articulated supports as well as conflicts within the extended family networks. 240 Many families started having children after moving to the Riverton area. Many families had grandparents living with them in the same household. Many grandparents in the community remain highly mobile, staying 6 months in the United States and 6 months in India. The Riverton Gurdwara serves as a place for their spiritual pursuits and socialization with other elderly members in the community. The parents in the study articulated many expectations for their children around educational attainment, career and jobs, cultural competence, behaviors, dating, and religion. Most parents wanted their children to attain their best education in the United States and find jobs outside of their community. However, three fathers noted that they would give freedom to their children to choose the store business if they would like to pursue this. Both mothers and fathers said that they would like to give equal chance to their daughters. Although the expectations of the parents in the study were high, their direct involvement in their children’s education was limited due to their own educational background. Moreover, most fathers in the study were spending somewhere between 12-14 hours at their convenience stores. Most parents were not involved in schools. Mothers in the study were solely responsible for attending parentteacher meetings. Even though many fathers thought that by taking their sons’ help at store, they were engaging their sons positively, however, it had a cost on children’s aspirations to go out of community seeking other careers. The parents, both mothers and fathers, in the study, irrespective of gender of their children, also articulated religious expectations for their children. There were three categories of parents who had expectations around their sons wearing outward identity markers (i.e. Parna). In first category were parents (4 families) who wanted their children to grow their hair and keep their turban. Two of these boys (one going to elementary school, another going to middle school) 241 felt proud in their outward identity marker and parents articulated that they both knew enough about Sikhism and its markers to educate people in school. The other two children who had their hair grown desired to cut their hair because of teasing and bullying that they faced in school. But both families kept their turbans by using different support systems and control. The second category was of the parents who decided that they wouldn’t grow their children’s hair in first place. These families articulated various reasons such as ‘looks matter,’ ‘do not want children to look different,’ ‘information on bullying of Sikh children through media,’ ‘do not want their children to be treated differently in schools and outside of home,’ ‘perceptions gained from Sikh community that children would cut their long hair when they grow up,’ and ‘awareness of Sikh values in India—India is changing fast.’ The third category was of the parents, whose children had cut their hair as they reached adolescence age. Various reasons that parents mentioned for cutting their children’s hair were: ‘the child doesn’t want to look different,’ ‘older children faced teasing and bullying in school,’ ‘medical reasons,’ and child followed footsteps of his cousins in the community.’ Various forms of bullying that the parents articulated around Sikh children’s turban that they were aware of either through media, personal experiences, or stories from community members, were—young boys being teased as girls and older boys being confused with Muslims. However, many parents also added that most of these incidences occur in big cities. They said that their children (community children) faced these issues in the beginning (when they moved to Riverton) more than now. But their awareness of bullying and teasing through media made them protective of their children. Although I haven’t included youth’s perspective in the current study, at least two adolescent youth articulated facing bullying in school, where one of them was called a ‘terrorist.’ 242 Most fathers talked about post-9/11 discrimination in subtle ways—they mentioned different incidences happening at their stores such as ‘someone calling them Arabs’, ‘people asking about their religion and nationality’, or ‘people confusing them with Muslims’. Many of them did not talk negatively about these incidences. They attributed those incidences to people’s ignorance and mentioned that there were always good and bad people everywhere. Parents also shared the teaching strategies for their children to deal with teasing and bullying—‘building resilience against bullying’, ‘teaching children to become their own advocates’, and ‘advocating for their children in their schools’. The fathers and grandfathers in the community had a broader community view by keeping them abreast of latest news of Sikh community in the U.S. society. Many fathers were aware of news of achievements, discrimination, and politics in broader Sikh community in the United States. The other way that they were connected with the broader community of Sikhs was through their Annual Day Sikh Parade. The religious and cultural socialization goals were different for mothers and fathers. The fathers and grandparents wanted to keep their boys from drugs and anti-social activities. They viewed keeping boys engaged at stores in helping their fathers and at the Gurdwara interacting with other Sikh community members and peers as effective ways to meet the religious socialization goals. The mothers and grandfathers wanted their children, both boys and girls, to learn Punjabi culture and Sikh religion within the contexts of family, extended family, Gurdwara, and the Sikh community. Since the fathers were working 12-14 hours at their stores, 7–days a week, it was mainly mothers and grandparents, who brought children to the Gurdwara on Sundays. 243 In the family context, parents, siblings, relatives, and grandparents played an important role in modeling religious behaviors at home, in the community, and in the Gurdwara. All the families had also created religious environments at home. The parents encouraged their children to pray for five minutes before going to school or store. Similarly the environment of the Riverton Gurdwara was also conducive to learning social culture and the Sikh religion. When children are surrounded by similar home and the community environment, they are more likely to learn the elements of their culture and religion. Many mothers in the study noted that their children were losing their reading skills in Punjabi, so the mothers used various ways of teaching their children about Gurus and the history of Sikhism—recorded audios, translated audio and video cassettes, storytelling, Punjabi TV channels, and translated religious scripts made available to their children. The grandparents who traveled often to India brought English books about Sikhism in the Gurdwara library, so that children could borrow the books to read at home. The grandparents in the families play an important role in their grandchildren’s lives. Many parents and grandparents reported that many times children asked questions of their grandparents because they were more religious minded. The grandparents reported helping their grandchildren with homework, taking care of them in their parents’ absence, and teaching them about the religion. The families were also meeting their extended families and relatives on regular basis, so the children were learning similar things in their outer home environment. In the Gurdwara, the children were learning their social culture, positive engagement, and religious behaviors. Some parents reported that their adolescent children, after hearing scriptures at the Gurdwara, also explored the literature on the internet. The factors that affected parents’ socialization practices included age of children, parents’ gender, parents’ work hours, parents’ experiences, support system, competing contexts, and 244 cultural fossilization (Suarez-Orozco & Suarez-Orozco, 2011). In the next section, I will discuss the findings in connection with the extant literature. 6.2. Discussion According to Bronfenbrenner’s bioecological model (1979; 2005), various parts of a child’s ecosystems including microsystem, mesosystem, exosystem, and macrosystem play an important role in her development. Within various contexts the child interacts with human beings that could be her parents, grandparents, siblings, peers, teachers, and several other entities. Supporting relationships are important for optimal development. The proximal processes are important interactions between the child and her relationships. In the present study, parents, grandparents, and community members played an important role in supporting parent socialization towards youth’s ethno-religious identity development. The human-built religious and cultural environment at their homes, in the community, and the Riverton Gurdwara provided stimulation for the youth in the study that facilitated learning. The parents in the current study brought objects from the home country, maintained connections with extended family members, and involved their children in cultural and religious activities (Caplan, Whitmore, & Choy, 1991; Zhou & Bankston, 1998). The interactions between parents and grandparents, with relatives living in their neighborhoods, community congregation, and with extended family members also supported the parenting roles of the Sikh parents in the study. Religion and culture, which are macro level forces, permeate the microsystem of the youth in the study by influencing parenting practices, socialization goals, and parent-child interactions. Parenting is influenced by cultural values, beliefs, and contexts –Sikh parents in the study also socialized their children within their cultural and religious norms (Garcia Coll et al., 1996; Ogbu, 1981). Immigration removes an 245 individual from many predictable environments, including relationships with extended family members, community members, and friends (Suarez-Orozco, 2000). It is important to understand how change in context changes the people’s and environmental composition, and hence the development. However, these parents developed a community of parents, grandparents, and relatives over time that supported their socialization goals. The support system of the Sikh parents in the community including the network of relatives and extended family members, grandparents in many families, and Sikh peers served as their social capital that contributed to socialization practices of these parents (Berry, 1993; Berry & Sam, 1997; Phinney, 2001). The contextual stressors and support can affect individual characteristics of parents and children and therefore, interactions between parents and children (Belsky, 1984). The grandparents in the study played an important role in transmission of culture and religion to their grandchildren directly by interacting with their grandchildren and indirectly by supporting parent socialization practices (Bengton, Copen, Putney, & Silverstein, 2009; Schmidt & Padilla, 1983). Gibson (1989) in her study emphasized the value of ‘communal gossip’ to gain social control in Sikh (Indian) communities. The Sikh community in the study also attained social control by using other youth as ‘examples to follow’ or ‘examples not to follow’. Many participants gave example of the president’s son’s dropping out of college in their interviews. Often times the societal pressures in Indian communities are very high. Indian parents use a lot of peer modeling to socialize their children by comparing them with other children in the neighborhood, “See that child? How well behaved he or she is?" or “That child is terrible. I do not want you to learn those behaviors” are common assertions that parents use to socialize their children (Singh, 2005). Moreover, in many Asian families, socialization with extended families 246 is an obligation rather than an option (Woods, 1996). Parents assert more influence on their children because of peer pressure from other adult parents. Many times when people are living in the same geographical area or are part of a community behave in socially acceptable ways to gain confidence of gatekeepers of culture. Immigrants, who migrate with their families, report change in family dynamics (Sluzki, 1971). However, the family dynamics of the study participants could be different than that of other immigrants who migrate with their families. The men in the present study came to the United States as adolescents and young adults without their families. Most of them came between 1985 and 1995, lived about 15-25 years in the United States, longer than their wives who lived for 10-15 years in the country at the time of interviews. Bornstein and Cote (2006) argued that parent cognition is comprised of their beliefs, values, attitudes, and knowledge that change in a different context and over time. The fathers in the study were more acculturated than the mothers. This acculturation difference might have created differences in their socialization goals. The fathers in the study, in spite of their initial claim that they did not play role in their children’s socialization, played an important role in positive engagement by helping youth abstain from drugs and substance abuse (Bronte-Tinkew et al., 2004). Most mothers in the study joined their spouses after marriage, a few of them lived in India for a while after marriage, brought more ‘authentic’ Punjabi culture and Sikh religion with them. The mothers might have more recent memories of intergenerational parenting than the fathers in the study. The sociopolitical environments of India were different during emigration of the fathers and the mothers. All these differences might have led to a very different framework to teach religion and culture to begin with. However, both the mothers and the fathers in the study have been living 247 together for more than a decade now, raising their children together as a family, which would lead to some similarities in their goals and practices. The Sikh fathers in the study played an important role in religious socialization and protection from bullying and discrimination by taking proactive measures (Baker-Sperry, 2001; Hughes et al., 2008; King, 2003; Wolfinger & Wilcox, 2008). The fathers emphasized the learning of moral codes such as avoidance of drugs and alcohol, as an important value of Sikhism, which is similar to the other recent studies on father involvement (Bronte-et al., 2004). The fathers, more than the mothers, also wanted their children to learn good things from both cultures. However, the fathers were actively involved in their children’s lives to protect them from discrimination. The mothers in the study helped in teaching their children about their culture and religion by taking them to the Gurdwara and teaching them at home, fitting the notion of “cultural vessels” (Kallivayalilm, 2004). They served as role models for their daughters in child rearing, learning cultural and religious practices with an assumption that the girls would carry forward the culture to next generations (Hughes et al., 2008). Most of the studies on parent socialization have been conducted with mothers expect a few on father socialization (McHale et al., 2006). The present study makes an important contribution by adding father socialization. Moreover, the study also contributes to the scant literature on father involvement in immigrant families (Parke et al., 2004). Gibson (1989), in her earlier work with California Sikh families, found that the families in the study, besides doing well in education, expected their children to learn cultural norms of their Punjabi culture. However, Gibson did not talk in details about the role of religion and parents’ expectations around it in the Sikh families. The parents in the current study articulated many religious expectations from their children in building their character using many core 248 values of the religion. In the recent literature on religion and development, religion and spirituality are reported to play positive role in youth development. The communities where adolescents grow are structured within cultural, historical and religious traditions, which help youth to have a sense of social belonging, find meaning and purpose in their life, boost selfesteem and understanding, hence help in shaping youth’s identity (Ashmore et al., 2004; Ho & Ho, 2007). In the case of immigrants and cultural minorities, religion also enhances the racial and ethnic identity of youth (Yang & Ebaugh, 2001a; 2001b). Religion transcends ethnicity in many cases—Islam is one example. However, the context of religion is important to consider. After immigration some religions shift their positions between minority and majority depending on the majority religion in the host country. For example, Christians, who migrate from a country where they were in minority, become majority after moving to the United States. Similarly Hindus become a minority after migrating out of India. However, Sikhs remain in the same status—they are a minority religion in India (2% followers) and remain a minority in the United States (0.1% followers). Often times minority religion doesn’t get the same recognition that a majority religion gets in the host country. The families in the study came after the1984 communal riots in India. Many Sikhs around the world condemned the atrocities against Sikhs in India (Mann, 2006). When people are displaced or persecuted based on their religion and culture, either they enhance their identities or negate their identities that put them at risk of hate crimes (Ahmad, 2002). In the case of Sikhs, particularly those who migrated after 1984, many of them started identifying strongly with their religion (Mann, 2006). Many considered Britain, Canada, and the United States as their homes. But then the Sikhs in the United States faced the effects of the 9/11 twin tower attacks in their identity formation. These historical nodal points (e.g. 1984 riots and 2001 twin tower attacks) are 249 important to understand how they shape attitudes and beliefs about socializing their children. Sikhs have been mistaken as Arabs after the 9/11 twin tower attacks and they faced many racial biases and hatred crimes against them in jobs, work places, and in schools—in a similar way that many Black immigrants from Africa, West Indies, and Latin America are mistaken as African Americans (Collins, 2004). These mistaken identities feed deep-rooted stereotypes of people about a religious and racial group. Since the twin tower attacks were carried by a group of Muslim persons of Arab descent, in the current environment of Islamophobia, people enforce their stereotypes to Sikh immigrants who wear outward identity markers like many Muslims (Sheridan, 2006). This stereotyping has challenged a group identity of many practicing Muslims and Sikhs in many cases. The Immigrant groups cling to any religion not because that they want to socially isolate themselves, but they want to stay close to it in order to enculturate their children and to preserve the values, and also to be in a stronger position to interact with other social or religious groups (Williams, 2007). Similarly the Sikhs in the study, while maintaining their religious and cultural practices, instill egalitarian values in their children. Many parents in the study felt confident in teaching the religious values of Sikhism to their children because of their pluralistic contexts and similarity of their religious values with the U.S. constitution. However, accommodations were made in outward identity markers of many fathers and sons. For children it becomes more challenging to keep their religious identity markers due to many competing forces in schools (i.e., peer pressure) and the host society (i.e., assimilation forces) that often conflict with parents’ socialization goals (Rivas-Drake et al., 2009; SuarezOrozco et al., 2006; Thorne et al., 2003). Most children “long to be like others” (Suarez-Orozco, 2000). Teasing and bullying based on one’s religion and culture make it worse by creating a dissonance between Private regard, (i.e., a feeling about one’s own religious group) and Public 250 regard (i.e., what an individual thinks about other people’s perception of his/her religious group) (Rivas-Drake et al., 2009; Sellers et al., 1997; Spencer, 1985). Suarez-Orozco (2000) in her work described the phenomenon of “negative social mirroring”, that is, when the outer world around a child reflects opinion in a negative way, it is difficult for that child to maintain a positive sense of worth for very long. The negative effects of peer discrimination are well documented. Recognition of prejudices and biased behaviors by adolescents can complicate the development (Jones & Galliher, 2007). Adolescents’ perception of racism and discrimination are associated with a decrease in self-esteem and an increase in depressive symptoms (Johnson, 2005; Qin et al., 2008; Rivas-Drake, Hughes, & Way, 2008; Seaton, 2009; Seller & Shelton, 2003). Berry and colleagues also noted that perceived discrimination played an important role for immigrants in guiding the choices of how to acculturate and in limiting successful psychological and sociocultural adaptation (Berry et al., 2006). Encounters with discrimination also stimulate ethnic-racial identity and moderate the relationship between identity development and adjustment in adolescents (Quintana, 2007; Sellers & Shelton). The Sikh parents in the study, like many African American and immigrant minority parents were teaching their children about their religious and cultural heritage and history of Sikhism (Hughes et al., 2006). The parents taught their children the cultural customs and traditions by direct conversations and through interacting with the cultural and religious environment at home, and promoted cultural, racial, and ethnic pride, deliberately (i.e., intentional or overt) as well as implicitly (i.e., unintentional or covert) (Hughes et al.). The ethnoreligious socialization of Sikh parents was verbal as well as nonverbal, initiated by parents and also by children (Hughes et al., 2008). One of the important socialization tasks listed in the African American parent socialization literature is to protect their children from teasing and 251 discrimination (Coard et al., 2004; Hughes et al.). The Sikh parents in the study mostly used a strategic protocol to deal with teasing and bullying associated with their children’s outward identity markers, which is one of the protocols used by African American parents during racial preparation of their children (Coard et al., 2004). In the strategic protocol of racial preparation, parents train their children for adaptive racial orientation, which many of these Sikh parents did in the present study by deciding not to have their children grow their hair and permitting their children cut their long hair. The socialization against discrimination was neither reactive nor proactive; Hughes and Chen (1997) in their work with Chinese immigrants noted that parents unlike African American parents did not talk about discrimination until the children actually faced it. However, Sikh parents were proactive in their socialization by gaining knowledge through media and reactive in their socialization when an incidence happened with their child/children or with someone else in the community. The parents in the study also taught their children about their history and heritage, unity, and group commitment, so that their children could take pride in their religious and cultural heritage. The Sikh parents also emphasized racial equality, a value borrowed from their religion, where they expanded egalitarian merits and coexistence of many ethnic communities in the multicultural society. When the Sikh parents in the study talked about religious expectations from their children, they emphasized character building through religious values and importance to excel. All these socialization goals were parallel to those of African American parents as described by Coard and colleagues (2004). However, the parents in the current study did not talk about promotion of mistrust against majority racial groups. It could be because of their immigrant optimism (Ogbu, 1987) and having a different sociocultural history than African Americans who have lived discrimination and racism through many generations. The Sikh parents in the study might have shown resilience against biases and 252 discrimination. There is historical evidence that Sikhs as a group are considered as resilient (Mann, 2006). However, findings from the recent studies on Indians suggest that many Indians either do not talk openly about racism due to colonial history or often times lack the vocabulary to define racism and discrimination (Bhatia & Ram, 2009; Inman & Tummala-Narra, 2010; Mahalingam, 2006). This could be the case of Sikh parents, who did not present any negative sentiments against racism, rather showing their strengths. The parents in the Gibson’s study promoted mistrust in their children against majority group children to preserve their Punjabi culture. Hughes and colleagues (2008) have also talked about ‘promotion of mistrust’ as an important socialization strategy of African American parents. However, African American parents use this strategy to protect their children from racism and discrimination. In the present study, many parents, more specifically fathers, expected their children to develop bicultural competence and they emphasized racial equality in their children, a value drawn from Sikhism. The fathers in the study also talked about the phenomenon known as ‘cultural fossilization’ (Suarez-Orozco & Suarez-Orozco, 2011) that the religious and cultural norms are changing in India; they took pride in preserving their religious and cultural values while living in the United States. Also two to three fathers in the study noted the change in ‘parent cognition’ (Bornstein & Cote, 2006) due to their global awareness and increased appreciation of some of the American values. The Sikh parents in the study made modifications in their outward identity markers, making accommodations and adaptations in their ethnoreligious identity socialization. Many of them talked about teaching the core values of Sikhism such as equality, justice, service, meditation, sharing, and hard work (Guru Nanak Mission, 2008). The parents in the study noted the importance of their religion in engaging children and youth positively (Benson, 1997; Smith & Denton, 2005), abstaining from alcohol and drug abuse 253 (Pullen et al., 1999; Regnerus, 2003), finding role models in the community (Smith & Denton), learning social culture (Wallace et al., 2003), and developing close familial relationships (Benson) with parents and grandparents (King & Elder, 1999). The parents in the study, based on their personal experiences and awareness about ethnic teasing and bullying through media, made accommodations and adaptations in their religious expectations from their children. This work is an important expansion of Gibson’s work on “accommodation without assimilation”—parents’ cognition change over time (Bornstein & Cote, 2006) and so are their socialization practices. The parents in the study made adaptations in their socialization goals after careful examination of their contexts. Gibson’s work was conducted in 1989, a decade before the technology boom. The world has changed since then with increased global forces, technology advancement, and more overseas connections—the changed world has changed the contexts of parent socialization and identity formation (Bhatia, 2002). Like many immigrant parents, the Sikh parents in the study also expected their children to attain a good education, which was considered as a ladder to social mobility (Gibson, 1989; Li, 2001; Patel et al., 1996; Zhou & Bankston, 1998). Most parents were fighting against their children ‘not becoming’ something based on their experiences of ‘hard work’ they were doing at their convenience stores. They did not want their boys to work at their convenience stores. Like many other working class immigrant parents, these parents were emphasizing the ‘value of hard work’ in attaining their education (Lopez, 2001). Similar to other immigrant parents, these parents were not involved in their children’s school as much as they were involved at home (Fuligini & Yoshikawa, 2002; Halgunseth, Ispa & Rudy, 2006; Lopez, 2001; Ogbu & Herbert, 1998; Sy, Rowley & Schulenberg, 2007). They provided monetary and other resources for their children to excel in education. Mostly mothers were involved in homework help and the 254 monitoring of their children as fathers were away for long period for their work. The relatives and grandparents also supported the families in their educational socialization. The parents in the study also used a lot of ‘peer modeling’ from their community. However, this peer modeling did not always work to their advantage. For example, many older adolescents in the community were dropping out of colleges because they could fall back on their fathers’ businesses, a similar trend noted by Stepick and Stepick (2003) with their work with Cuban communities. Even though fathers in the community considered their sons helping at stores as a way to engage them positively, I argue that the boys start feeling comfortable working at stores and find it easy to continue as compared to getting their education and finding jobs outside of their community. The community on the one hand provided insulation by supporting parents and youth, on the other, unintentionally it prevented many youth to go out of their comfort zone. At least two to three parents mentioned not having enough guidance available for their children. Having said that these children were falling back on their family businesses, I am not stating that they were not successful. But there was a clear gap between parents’ expectations and actions, and between parents’ expectations and youth’s achievement (Zhou, 1997). In the next section, I will discuss the future implications of the work. 6.3. Practical Implications Parent socialization research in the Sikh communities is important in several areas. Young boys are being bullied through the taunts of appearing as “girls” because they grow their hair. In addition, adolescents are being mistaken as Muslims of Arab origin because of their outward identity markers (i.e., turban and sometimes beards) and are also often harassed as “terrorists” after 9/11 Twin tower attacks. This bullying has resulted in a losing or a striping 255 down of some of their outward identity markers. These adjustments made by adolescents to “fit in” create tensions within families and Sikh communities. The research findings have important implications in informing anti-bullying policies in the school. We are aware of the psychological effects of bullying based on religion and culture on children and adolescents. The effects are exacerbated for bullying based on someone’s appearance. Educational resources are very important for immigrant parents to be involved in voicing for anti-bullying policies in schools. The Obama administration has introduced an anti-bullying bill, ‘The Safe Schools Improvement Act’ (SSIA) in March 2011. Recently, the representatives of an advocating organization, Sikh American Legal Defense and Education Fund (SALDEF), have become active in informing antibullying policies in White House. According to SALDEF, “For Sikh Americans, school bullying is a serious and prevalent issue. Students forced to endure bullying and harassment at school are at high risk for poor academic performance, low self-esteem, social withdrawal, and losing their Sikh identity.” I argue that often times these resources are not available in communities, especially in small places like Riverton. There is a need to connect different contexts of child and adolescent development, such as home and school, so that they can work harmoniously toward a common goal of positive child development. The results of the present study provide insights for educators and school teachers about socio-religious practices of Sikh immigrant parents at home and within the community culture of Sikh students. The information can be utilized in developing professional trainings for improving cultural sensitivity in classrooms. This would also enhance the communication between teachers and students. In an increasingly pluralistic American society, multi-cultural classrooms are on rise. This will require teachers and educators to utilize a variety of cross cultural bridge building tools. When schools and colleges develop appreciation for students’ home culture, it increases 256 students’ appreciation of their cultural background—due to congruence of different contexts in their world. The results of the study may be used by educators and school counselors in understanding different cultural practices of immigrant groups and that some issues might be resulting from cultural gaps between foreign born immigrant parents and their U.S. born children. The information on parent socialization, community and family supports in buffering the effects of bullying and fostering resilience in the face of discrimination and harassment may be helpful for practitioners and mental health professionals, in developing intervention programs for religious and ethnic minority youth and families. Moreover, the otherwise neglected construct of religion in immigrant child and adolescent development can be utilized in counseling, nursing, and mental health work after knowing the positive aspects of religion in the lives of youth and families through the current study. The research also has important implications for researchers and youth organizations in understanding the role of religion in minority youth development. I assert that religiosity and spirituality should be incorporated in studying resilience and adaptation of immigrant families. Religion reinforces culture/race/ethnicity in many domestic and immigrant minority groups, which leads to positive self-concept and better psychological and educational outcomes. The findings of the study make clear recommendation about importance of fathers and grandparents involvement in immigrant families. The father socialization literature is scant expect a few studies with African American fathers (McHale et al., 2006). According to this study, fathers played an important role in socializing their sons and fathers’ socialization was negatively related to youth depression symptoms. Fathers play a very important role in their sons’ lives. 257 Clearly the findings can be utilized by Family Life Educators to advocate for fathers’ involvement in immigrant families. The findings of the study suggest that the Sikh parents and youth in the Riverton area were insulated within a strong community setting. The community supported roles of parents and buffered the effects of teasing and bullying by providing strength and resilience. However, this strong attachment to the community prevented many youth to venture their educational and professional pursuits out of their religious and cultural community. Often times the ethnic enclaves become isolated and the flow of resources and information is only within the ethnic networks. There is a need to connect such ethnic enclaves or communities with broader mainstream community, so that the youth in such enclaves can benefit from resources and information from outside. This particular finding is important for human service professionals and outreach workers. In the next section, I will discuss the limitations of the study. 6.4. Limitations of the Study Although the findings of the current study can be used to devise important policies for religious/cultural/racial/ethnic minority youth and families, caution should be taken while generalizing the findings. I selected a single study site for convenience and an in-depth understanding of the socialization practices of Sikh immigrant parents; it would be difficult to generalize the findings to all Sikh congregations and Sikh parents in the United States. The sample in the Riverton city may not be representative of all the Sikhs in the country. Even if there are many similarities in religion and cultural practices of Sikhs across the United States, the structural factors may play an important role in shaping individual family and community experiences. Individual characteristics, immigration status, generational status, pre-immigration 258 history, reception by host society, length of stay in the United States, economic means to visit home country, pressure to assimilate, connections with home country, extended families and community enclaves , and social capital may contribute to variability in socialization practices of Sikh parents across the country (Berry, 1993; Berry & Sam, 1997; Phinney, 2001). We should not neglect the within-group differences. Families are different in their attachments with religion and culture and their experiences shape what part of religion and culture they want their children to learn. Therefore, we should not assume that all Sikh families follow the same rituals and practices. For example, the parents that I interviewed were regular attendees of the congregation. There are many Sikh parents who practice their religion and culture at their homes or there might be some families who do not practice religion at all. The findings should be used with caution. The context of the study may also pose some limitations on generalizability. I conducted this ethnographic study on the congregation premises. As one of my participants reminded me, “We do not show our jealousies and conflicts in Gurdwara. We are at our best behaviors of communal harmony”, etiquettes in Gurdwara can be very different than how these people behave outside of these premises. My initial rapport building, observations of rituals and festivals, and focus groups took place in these organized premises. However, conducting interviews at their homes gave me a chance to enter into different premises. But I could not observe community behaviors at their homes. Due to the sample selection technique, the families that participated in the study were related to each other. On the one hand, their strong networks helped me understand the role of social capital in parent socialization practices, but on the other hand I missed many differences. For example, the families living in the East side of the city, who were not a part of any family 259 network, were very different in their socialization practices and educational involvement. Having more such families would have added richness to the data and the findings would have been more generalizable. Adding different socialization contexts (i.e., peers, school) would have added two different perspectives, but due to time and resources limitation, I was not able to use these two important contexts. Teachers’ and peers’ perspectives could have provided a different angle on children’s religious attitudes. I interviewed boys and girls in the project; however, due to time limitation and scope of future publications, I did not include children’s perspective in the study. 6.5. Conclusion and Future Directions Despite many limitations, the current study is an important contribution to various areas of study. The study is an important contribution to the broader development and immigration literature as well as more specific areas within: religion and resilience, Asian Indian immigrant parenting, Sikh parents’ socialization practices, immigrant adaptation, father and grandparents’ involvement/socialization, gender differences in socialization, and immigrant parents’ educational aspirations. There have been recent studies undertaken to understand the role of religion in positive youth development (Lerner et al., 2008; Pullen et al., 1999; Regnerus, 2003). Very few studies have been undertaken to understand the role of religion in immigrant youth’s lives (Bankston & Zhou, 1995; Friedman et al., 2005). The current study contributes importantly to an understanding of the role of religion in Sikh youth and families. Moreover, very few studies have looked at the role of religion in resilience (Luster et al., 2010). The present study makes an important contribution in the area of religion and resilience. The present study also adds to a 260 limited number of studies conducted with Asian Indian parents (Bhatia, 2002; Inman et al., 2007; Jain & Belsky, 1997). It also contributes to the understanding of Sikh parents’ socialization on which the work is otherwise limited (Gibson, 1989). The literature on father (Jain & Belsky, 1997; McHale et al., 2006; Parke et al., 2004; Patel et al., 1996) and grandparents’ involvement/socialization in immigrant families is scant (Kamo & Zhou, 1994) and there are no studies done with Sikh fathers and grandparents to understand their role in religion and culture transmission. The current study makes an important contribution by adding both parents’ and intergenerational perspectives in Sikh families. The study is an important extension of work done in ethnic racial socialization done with African American minorities (Hughes et al., 2006, 2008; Hughes & Chen, 1997). Another important contribution of the present work is adding religion with ethnic socialization, which is often a neglected variable in social identity literature (Chatman et al., 2005; Warner, 2000; Williams, 2007). The ethno-religious socialization model can be used with other groups where religion and ethnicity are intertwined, such as Muslims, and Jews. There are only a few studies that have looked at gender differences in parent socialization (Hughes et al., 2008)—the present study makes an important contribution in that area. The study also adds to the understanding the role of community contexts in shaping immigrant adaptation and parent socialization practices. The model of parent socialization in Sikh immigrants can be applied to carry out more quantitative work in developing various measures to understand psychosocial adjustment of Sikh youth and role of families and religion in their lives. My future plans include analyzing the child data and establishing a link between parent socialization and ethno-religious identity formation. The long term plans include understanding the educational and psychological outcomes of strong ethno-religious identity in youth. In future, more studies need to be done with ethnic and 261 religious minority groups because the work has direct implications in development of minority youth in meeting their educational and psychological goals. Only a human being who understands self-worth can become a productive individual of the society. 262 APPENDICES 263 APPENDIX-I PERMISSION FORM FROM THE CONGREGATION 264 PERMISSION FORM FROM THE CONGREGATION 265 APPENDIX-II CONSENT FORMS 266 CONSENT FORM FOR PILOT ADULT INTERVIEWS Study title: Parent Socialization practices of Sikh immigrant parents towards ethno-religious identity formation of children Researcher: Meenal Rana, PhD student & Dr. Desiree Qin-Hilliard Department: Human Development and Family Studies, MSU Address and Contact Information: 31 Garden Level, Kellogg Center, ranameen@msu.edu, 517703-6711 Purpose of the research. You are invited to participate in a pilot research study group discussion on parent practices common among Sikh community towards teaching about their religion to their children conducted at Michigan State University. We are also interested in knowing what role Sikh religion plays in raising children. The information collected from the group discussion will be used to create questions for in-depth study of these practices with parents and children in the community. Please read this form carefully and feel free to ask any questions that you may have about the study before agreeing to participate in the study. What you will do? If you agree to participate in this research study, you will be asked to participate in a group discussion to teach us about the socialization practices prevalent in Sikh community and the role of religion in child rearing. If you participate in this part of the study, you may be audiotaped so that what you say can be accurately recorded. We will also take notes. If you agree to participate in the group discussion, it will take about 11/2 hours. Your rights as participant. Participation is voluntary; you may choose not to participate at all, or you may refuse to answer certain questions or discontinue your participation at any time without consequence. If you decide to take part, you are free to withdraw at any time without penalty. If you choose not to be audiotaped, you will not be able to participate in this study. Privacy and Confidentiality. Your confidentiality will be protected to the maximum extent allowable by law. The information collected from this discussion will be used to design interview questions for the next phase of the study. The interview data will be kept in a locked filing cabinet in the researcher’s office (31 Garden Level, Kellogg Center, MSU) for three years after study closes. The electronic data will be saved on password protected computer in the researcher’s office. Your personal answers will not be shown to anyone, including people in your school and your family. The only people who will have access to the data will be me, my dissertation director and MSU’s Institutional Review Board, which monitors protection of human subjects. Potential Benefits. There is no direct benefit to you from participating in the research study. However, your participation will help us learn about parent socialization practices in the Sikh 267 community, which in turn will be helpful in creating awareness among research community about religious practices of Sikh community. The results of the study will help us develop effective intervention programs to support immigrant families and children. Compensation for participation. You will receive no money or compensation for this study, but food will be served during the group discussion. Potential risks. A risk of participating in this study is breach of confidentiality. Many steps will be taken to protect the privacy of your information, including assigning false names, keeping information locked in file cabinets and on password-protected computers, and never reporting any individual responses. You may skip any questions you do not feel comfortable answering. Contact information for questions and concerns. If you have concerns or questions about this study, such as scientific issues, how to do any part of it, or to report an injury (i.e., physical, psychological, social, financial, or otherwise), please contact my dissertation director, Dr. Desiree B. Qin (517-432-2267), 103E Human Ecology, Michigan State University, East Lansing, MI 48824, dqin@msu.edu. If you have questions or concerns about your role and rights as a research participant, would like to obtain information or offer input, or would like to register a complaint about this study, you may contact, anonymously if you wish, the Michigan State University's Human Research Protection Program at 517-355-2180, Fax 517-432-4503, or e-mail irb@msu.edu or regular mail at 207 Olds Hall, MSU, East Lansing, MI 48824. Consent to participate in the group discussion. Your signature below indicates that you have read, or had read to you, the information in this form. My participation in this project is voluntary and I have been told that I may stop my participation in this study at any time without penalty and loss of benefit to myself. I agree to participate in this project Participant’s signature: ______________________________________________ Date:__________________________ Participant’s name: _________________________________________________ I agree to allow audiotaping of the interview. Yes______________ No___________ Initials_____________ 268 CONSENT FORM FOR GRANDPARENTS Study title: Parent Socialization practices of Sikh immigrant parents towards ethno-religious identity formation of children Researcher: Meenal Rana, PhD student & Dr. Desiree Qin-Hilliard Department: Human Development and Family Studies, MSU Address and Contact Information: 103 E Human Ecology, ranameen@msu.edu, 517-703-6711 Purpose of the research. You are invited to participate in a research study group discussion on parent practices common among Sikh community towards teaching about their religion to their children conducted at Michigan State University. We are also interested in knowing what role Sikh religion plays in raising children. We would like to know what roles grandparents play in supporting the parenting practices of these children. Please read this form carefully and feel free to ask any questions that you may have about the study before agreeing to participate in the study. What you will do? If you agree to participate in this research study, you will be asked to participate in a group discussion to teach us about the socialization practices prevalent in Sikh community and the role of religion in child rearing. If you participate in this part of the study, you may be audiotaped so that what you say can be accurately recorded. We will also take notes. If you agree to participate in the group discussion, it will take about 11/2 hours. Your rights as participant. Participation is voluntary; you may choose not to participate at all, or you may refuse to answer certain questions or discontinue your participation at any time without consequence. If you decide to take part, you are free to withdraw at any time without penalty. If you choose not to be audiotaped, you will not be able to participate in this study. Privacy and Confidentiality. Your confidentiality will be protected to the maximum extent allowable by law. The information collected from this discussion will be used to design interview questions for the next phase of the study. The interview data will be kept in a locked filing cabinet in the researcher’s office (103 E Human Ecology, MSU) for three years after study closes. The electronic data will be saved on password protected computer in the researcher’s office. Your personal answers will not be shown to anyone, including people in your school and your family. The only people who will have access to the data will be me, my dissertation director and MSU’s Institutional Review Board, which monitors protection of human subjects. Potential Benefits. There is no direct benefit to you from participating in the research study. However, your participation will help us learn about parent socialization practices in the Sikh community, which in turn will be helpful in creating awareness among research community about religious practices of Sikh community. The results of the study will help us develop effective 269 intervention programs to support immigrant families and children. Compensation for participation. A $10 contribution will be made towards the congregation for your participation in this study. Potential risks. A risk of participating in this study is breach of confidentiality. Many steps will be taken to protect the privacy of your information, including assigning false names, keeping information locked in file cabinets and on password-protected computers, and never reporting any individual responses. You may skip any questions you do not feel comfortable answering. Contact information for questions and concerns. If you have concerns or questions about this study, such as scientific issues, how to do any part of it, or to report an injury (i.e., physical, psychological, social, financial, or otherwise), please contact my dissertation director, Dr. Desiree B. Qin (517-432-2267), 103E Human Ecology, Michigan State University, East Lansing, MI 48824, dqin@msu.edu. If you have questions or concerns about your role and rights as a research participant, would like to obtain information or offer input, or would like to register a complaint about this study, you may contact, anonymously if you wish, the Michigan State University's Human Research Protection Program at 517-355-2180, Fax 517-432-4503, or e-mail irb@msu.edu or regular mail at 207 Olds Hall, MSU, East Lansing, MI 48824. Consent to participate in the group discussion. Your signature below indicates that you have read, or had read to you, the information in this form. My participation in this project is voluntary and I have been told that I may stop my participation in this study at any time without penalty and loss of benefit to myself. I agree to participate in this project: Participant’s signature: ______________________________________________ Date:__________________________ Participant’s name: _________________________________________________ I agree to allow audiotaping of the interview. Yes______________ No___________ Initials_____________ 270 INFORMED CONSENT FOR PARENTS Study title: Parent Socialization practices of Sikh immigrant parents towards ethno-religious identity formation of children Researcher: Meenal Rana, PhD student & Dr. Desiree Qin Department: Human Development and Family Studies, MSU Address and Contact Information: 103 E Human Ecology, ranameen@msu.edu, 517-703-6711 Purpose of the research- Immigrant parents shoulder many responsibilities while raising their children in a new country that is different from their own country. They teach their children about their culture and religion. You and your child are invited to participate in the research study that aims to understand practices that are common among Sikh parents in teaching their children about their religion. We are also interested in knowing what role Sikh religion plays in raising children. The information collected in this study will be used to write the researcher’s PhD dissertation. Please read this form carefully and feel free to ask any questions that you may have about the study before agreeing to participate in the study. What you will do? If you agree to participate in this study and give permission for your child to take part in the study, you, your spouse, and your child (son) will be asked to participate in the individual interviews. If you have a daughter, she may be asked to participate in a separate focus group. The interviews with you and your family members will be conducted at your home or at a location of your choice. If your schedule permits, all three interviews can be conducted in one day. The estimated length of time required for adult interviews will be 1 ½ hrs; interviews with children will last less than 1 hr. The girls’ group discussion will be conducted at the congregation after the Sunday services. The interviews will be conducted between September 2011 and October 2011. The interviews will be audio-taped. Your rights as participant- Participation is voluntary; you may choose not to participate at all, or you may refuse to answer certain questions or discontinue your participation at any time without consequence. If you decide to take part, you are free to withdraw at any time without penalty. If you choose not to be audiotaped, you will not be able to participate in this study. Refusal to participate will involve no penalty or loss of benefits to which the subjects is otherwise entitled. Privacy and confidentiality- Your confidentiality will be protected to the maximum extent allowable by law. Your names will not be used in the dissertation. The interview data will be kept in a locked filing cabinet in the researcher’s office (103E Human Ecology, MSU) for three years after study closes. The electronic data will be saved on password protected computer in the researcher’s office. 271 Your personal answers will not be shown to anyone, including people in your school and your family. The only people who will have access to the data will be me, my dissertation director and MSU’s Institutional Review Board, which monitors protection of human subjects. Potential Benefits- There is no direct benefit to you from participating in the research study. However, your participation will help us learn about parent socialization practices in the Sikh community, which in turn will be helpful in creating awareness among research community about religious practices of Sikh community. The results of the study will help us develop effective intervention programs to support immigrant families and children. Potential risks- A risk of participating in this study is breach of confidentiality. Many steps will be taken to protect the privacy of your information, including assigning false names, keeping information locked in file cabinets and on password-protected computers, and never reporting any individual responses. You may skip any questions you do not feel comfortable answering. Compensation for participation- You will receive no money or compensation for this study. However, each of your children will get a $15 gift card for MSU Dairy ice-cream for their participation. Contact information for questions and concerns. If you have concerns or questions about this study, such as scientific issues, how to do any part of it, or to report an injury (i.e., physical, psychological, social, financial, or otherwise), please contact my dissertation director, Dr. Desiree B. Qin (517-432-2267), 103E Human Ecology, Michigan State University, East Lansing, MI 48824, dqin@msu.edu. If you have questions or concerns about your role and rights as a research participant, would like to obtain information or offer input, or would like to register a complaint about this study, you may contact, anonymously if you wish, the Michigan State University's Human Research Protection Program at 517-355-2180, Fax 517-432-4503, or e-mail irb@msu.edu or regular mail at 207 Olds Hall, MSU, East Lansing, MI 48824. Your participation in the study My participation in this project is voluntary and I have been told that I may stop my participation in this study at any time without penalty and loss of benefit to myself. I agree to participate in this project: Participant’s signature: ______________________________________________ Date:__________________________ Participant’s name: _______________________________________________ 272 Informed consent I voluntarily agree to allow my child to participate in this research study. My child will also be asked if he agrees to participate. I allow my child (ren), whose names are listed below to participate in this study. Yes______________ No___________ Initials_____________ ____________________________________ Please print child’s name ____________________________________ Please print child’s name ____________________________________ Please print child’s name ____________________________________ ____________________ Your signature Date 273 ASSENT AND CONSENT FORM FOR 8-12 YEARS OLD BOYS Study title: Parent Socialization practices of Sikh immigrant parents towards ethno-religious identity formation of children Researcher: Meenal Rana, PhD student & Dr. Desiree Qin Department: Human Development and Family Studies, MSU Address and Contact Information: 103 E Human Ecology, ranameen@msu.edu, 517-703-6711 Purpose of the research. You are being asked to take part in this research study that aims to understand how parents teach their children about religion. You will be asked how your parents teach you about your religion (Wahe Guru), as a child of parents who were not born in the U.S. You will also be asked what your parents do to help you learn to practice your religion and culture in this country. What you will do? If you agree to take part in this study, your interview will be recorded on a tape recorder (researcher will then demonstrate how the tape recorder works). Participants’ rights. Your mom and dad have said that it is okay to talk with you about these things. But you can still say yes or no to talking with me. Even if you say yes, you may ask me to stop talking or recording at any time. You may see a copy of my notes after they are typed. Privacy and Confidentiality. No one else will see our notes. You will not be hurt in any way. Your information will not be shared with anyone else including your parents, your teachers, or your friends and your data will be kept confidential to the maximum extent allowable by law. The interview data will be kept in a locked filing cabinet in the researcher’s office (103E Human Ecology, MSU) for three years after study closes. The electronic data will be saved on password protected computer in the researcher’s office. Your personal answers will not be shown to anyone, including people in your school and your family. The only people who will have access to the data will be me, my dissertation director and MSU’s Institutional Review Board, which monitors protection of human subjects. Compensation for participation. You will receive a $15 MSU Dairy ice-cream for your participation in the study. 274 Contact information for questions and concerns. If you have concerns or questions about this study, such as scientific issues, how to do any part of it, or to report an injury (i.e., physical, psychological, social, financial, or otherwise), please contact my dissertation director, Dr. Desiree B. Qin (517-432-2267), 103E Human Ecology, Michigan State University, East Lansing, MI 48824, dqin@msu.edu. If you have questions or concerns about your role and rights as a research participant, would like to obtain information or offer input, or would like to register a complaint about this study, you may contact, anonymously if you wish, the Michigan State University's Human Research Protection Program at 517-355-2180, Fax 517-432-4503, or e-mail irb@msu.edu or regular mail at 207 Olds Hall, MSU, East Lansing, MI 48824. Consent to participate in the interview. If you are agree to participate, please sign below: I, ____________________________ agree to be part of this study. It has been (Please print your name) explained that I will not be hurt in any way and that I can say “I want to stop” at any time. ____________________________ _____________ (Please sign your name in cursive if able) (Today’s date) 275 CONSENT FORM FOR 13-17 YEARS OLD BOYS Study title: Parent Socialization practices of Sikh immigrant parents towards ethno-religious identity formation of children Researcher: Meenal Rana, PhD student & Dr. Desiree Qin Department: Human Development and Family Studies, MSU Address and Contact Information: 103 E Human Ecology, ranameen@msu.edu, 517-703-6711 Purpose of the research. You are being asked to take part in this research study that aims to understand how parents teach their children about religion. You will be asked how your parents teach you about your religion (Wahe Guru), as a child of parents who were not born in the U.S. You will also be asked what your parents do to help you learn to practice your religion and culture in this country. Please read this form carefully and feel free to ask any questions that you may have about the study before agreeing to participate in the study. What you will do? If you agree to participate in this research study, you will be asked to participate in an interview at your home. If you participate in this part of the study, you may be audiotaped so that what you say can be accurately recorded. Notes will be taken during the interview. If you agree to participate in the interview, it will take about 1hour. Participants’ rights. Your parents have given permission to talk with you about these things. But you can still say yes or no to talking with me. Even if you say yes, you may ask me to stop talking or recording at any time without any penalty. You may see a copy of my notes after I type them. If you choose not to be audiotaped, you will not be able to participate in this study. Privacy and Confidentiality. No one else will see our notes. Your name will not be shared with anyone else including your parents, your teachers, or your friends. The interview data will be kept in a locked filing cabinet in the researcher’s office (103E Human Ecology, MSU) for three years after study closes. The electronic data will be saved on password protected computer in the researcher’s office. Your personal answers will not be shown to anyone, including people in your school and your family. The only people who will have access to the data will be me, my dissertation director and MSU’s Institutional Review Board, which monitors protection of human subjects. Potential Benefits. There is no direct benefit to you from participating in the research study. However, your participation will help us learn about parent socialization practices in the Sikh community, which in turn will be helpful in creating awareness among research community about 276 religious practices of Sikh community. The results of the study will help us develop effective programs to support immigrant families and children. Compensation for participation. You will receive a $15 MSU Dairy ice-cream for your participation in the study. Contact information for questions and concerns. If you have concerns or questions about this study, such as scientific issues, how to do any part of it, or to report an injury (i.e., physical, psychological, social, financial, or otherwise), please contact my dissertation director, Dr. Desiree B. Qin (517-432-2267), 103E Human Ecology, Michigan State University, East Lansing, MI 48824, dqin@msu.edu. If you have questions or concerns about your role and rights as a research participant, would like to obtain information or offer input, or would like to register a complaint about this study, you may contact, anonymously if you wish, the Michigan State University's Human Research Protection Program at 517-355-2180, Fax 517-432-4503, or e-mail irb@msu.edu or regular mail at 207 Olds Hall, MSU, East Lansing, MI 48824. Informed Consent to participate in the interview My participation in this project is voluntary and I have been told that I may stop my participation in this study at any time without penalty and loss of benefit to myself. I agree to participate in this project: Participant’s signature: ______________________________________________ Date:__________________________ Participant’s name: _________________________________________________ 277 CONSENT FORM FOR GIRLS’ FOCUS GROUP Study title: Parent Socialization practices of Sikh immigrant parents towards ethno-religious identity formation of children Researcher: Meenal Rana, PhD student & Dr. Desiree Qin Department: Human Development and Family Studies, MSU Address and Contact Information: 103 E Human Ecology, ranameen@msu.edu, 517-703-6711 Purpose of the research. You are being asked to take part in this research study that aims to understand how parents teach their children about religion. You will be asked how your parents teach you about your religion (Wahe Guru), as a child of parents who were not born in the U.S. You will also be asked what your parents do to help you learn to practice your religion and culture in this country. Please read this form carefully and feel free to ask any questions that you may have about the study before agreeing to participate in the study. What you will do? If you agree to participate in this research study, you will be asked to participate in a group discussion at the congregation. If you participate in this part of the study, you may be audiotaped so that what you say can be accurately recorded. Notes will be taken during the interview. If you agree to participate in the focus group, it will take about 1.5 hours. Participants’ rights. Your parents have given permission to talk with you about these things. But you can still say yes or no to talking with me. Even if you say yes, you may ask me to stop talking or recording at any time without any penalty. You may see a copy of my notes after I type them. If you choose not to be audiotaped, you will not be able to participate in this study. Privacy and Confidentiality. No one else will see our notes. Your name will not be shared with anyone else including your parents, your teachers, or your friends. The interview data will be kept in a locked filing cabinet in the researcher’s office (103E Human Ecology, MSU) for three years after study closes. The electronic data will be saved on password protected computer in the researcher’s office. Your personal answers will not be shown to anyone, including people in your school and your family. The only people who will have access to the data will be me, my dissertation director and MSU’s Institutional Review Board, which monitors protection of human subjects. Potential Benefits. There is no direct benefit to you from participating in the research study. However, your participation will help us learn about parent socialization practices in the Sikh community, which in turn will be helpful in creating awareness among research community about religious practices of Sikh community. The results of the study will help us develop effective programs to support immigrant families and children. 278 Compensation for participation. You will receive a $15 MSU Dairy ice-cream for your participation in the study. Contact information for questions and concerns. If you have concerns or questions about this study, such as scientific issues, how to do any part of it, or to report an injury (i.e., physical, psychological, social, financial, or otherwise), please contact my dissertation director, Dr. Desiree B. Qin (517-432-2267), 103E Human Ecology, Michigan State University, East Lansing, MI 48824, dqin@msu.edu. If you have questions or concerns about your role and rights as a research participant, would like to obtain information or offer input, or would like to register a complaint about this study, you may contact, anonymously if you wish, the Michigan State University's Human Research Protection Program at 517-355-2180, Fax 517-432-4503, or e-mail irb@msu.edu or regular mail at 207 Olds Hall, MSU, East Lansing, MI 48824. Informed Consent to participate in the interview My participation in this project is voluntary and I have been told that I may stop my participation in this study at any time without penalty and loss of benefit to myself. I agree to participate in this project: Participant’s signature: ______________________________________________ Date:__________________________ Participant’s name: _________________________________________________ 279 APPENDIX-III FOCUS GROUP AND INTERVIEW PROTOCOLS 280 PARENTS FOCUS GROUP GUIDE Immigration and history 1. Tell me when and how you came to the United States. Probe: Why did you come to the United States? How long have you been in Lansing? 2. What do you know about the Sikh community in the Lansing area? Probe: How many people, in your opinion, are from Sikh community in your area? Where do these people live in the Greater Lansing area (i.e., Lansing, East Lansing, Okemos)? What kinds of jobs/businesses most people in Sikh community in this area do? Adaptation in the US 1. What are some of the difficulties and challenges that you have experienced since coming to the U.S.? Probe: How have you dealt with them? 2. Do you have extended families in the US or Canada? 3. How often do you talk and visit India? Probe: Did you visit with your children or without children? Role of religion in child rearing 1. What are your expectations for your children while they are growing up in the United States? 2. What role does your religion play in raising your children? Probe: How effective has it been as you are now living in the US? 3. Tell me about the important teachings of Sikhism that you would like your children to learn. 281 Probe: What do you do to teach them about your religion? Are there different expectations for boys and girls? 4. What are the different ceremonies in your religion as children are growing up? 5. When children ask questions about their religion and its practices, how do you educate them? 6. When children get different messages about their religious identities in school (or outside of home and community), how do you deal with those differences? 7. What role does Gurdwara (Sikh congregation) play to keep children close to their religion? 8. Sometimes parents want their kids to behave the way they would in India, but their kids want to behave more like American kids. Does that happen in your family? Probe: If yes, how often? How do you deal with such situations? Belongings/Identity 1. Having lived in the US for several years, do you feel that you belong here? Probes: Why or why not? Where do you consider your home? India or the US? Why? 2. Has it been easy to keep your own culture and religious identity since you moved to the US? Probe: What has made this easy and what has made it difficult? 3. How do you educate people in the United States about your religion? Probe: Do people ask more often about turban and other outward markers? 4. Do people in the US often confuse you with Muslims? How do you deal with it? 5. How has it been changed after 9/11 attack to live in the United States? Closing Questions 1. If I don’t know anything about Sikhism, what are those five things that you would like to teach me about your religion? 2. Anything else that I should know before I close this discussion? 282 GROUP DISCUSSION GUIDE FOR YOUNG ADULTS (WHO GREW UP IN THE UNITED STATES) Immigration and history 1. Were you born in the United States? If no, how old were you when your parents moved to the United States? 2. When did your parents move to the United States? What were the reasons that your parents came to the United States? Adaptation in the US 3. Do you have extended families in the US or Canada? 4. How often do you talk and visit India? Tell me about your last visit to India. 5. What are some of the difficulties and challenges that you have experienced while you were growing up in the United States Probe: How have you dealt with them? Role of religion in child rearing 6. What were your parents’ expectations for you while you were growing up in the United States? Were these messages different than in school? Probe: When you used to get different messages about their religious identities in school (or outside of home and community), how did you deal with those kinds of issues? 7. Sometimes parents want their kids to behave the way they would in India, but their kids want to behave more like American kids. Did that happen in your family? Probe: If yes, how often? How did you deal with such situations? 8. What role did your religion play in your life when you were growing up? 283 9. Tell me about the important teachings of Sikhism that you learned during the years when you were growing up. Belongings/Identity 10. Having lived in the US for several years, do you feel that you belong here? Probes: Why or why not? Where do you consider your home? India or the US? Why? 11. Has it been easy to keep your own culture and identity since you moved to the US? Probes: What has made this easy and what has made it difficult? 12. How do you educate people in the United States about your religion? Probe: Do people ask more often about turban and other outward markers? 13. Do people in the US often confuse you with Muslims? How do you deal with it? 14. How has it been changed after 9/11 attack to live in the United States? Closing Questions 15. If I don’t know anything about Sikhism, what are those five things that you would like to teach me about your religion? 16. Anything else that I should know about Sikhism. 284 PARENT INTERVIEW GUIDE PARENTS (MOTHERS AND FATHERS) Immigration/history/demographics 1. Tell me when you came to the United States. What was the first city (state) that you arrived? a. Probe: Why did you come to the United States? i. How long have you been in Lansing? Why did you move to the Lansing area? 2. What do you do for living? 3. Did you parents accompany you? If not, did they join you later? 4. Tell me about your family (family members, what do they do?) 5. How would you best describe the neighborhood you live in? 6. Where are most of your friends from, including people in school and at work? Adaptation in the US 7. What are some of the difficulties and challenges that you have experienced since coming to the U.S.? Probe: How have you dealt with them? 8. Do you have extended families in the US or Canada? If you have extended family in the United States or Canada, what kind of support do you get from them? 9. How often do you talk and visit India? Probe: Did you visit with your children or without children? 10. Do the people from India (Punjab) in your area support you? If yes, how? 11. Do you have relatives in the Lansing area? How do they help you to adapt in the United States? 285 Role of religion in child rearing 12. What are your expectations for your children while they are growing up in the United States? Are your expectations different than your spouse’s expectations? Are your expectations different for your boys and girls? 13. Tell me the differences you see in how your parents raised you and how you are raising your children. 14. Think as if you were raising your children in India (Punjab). What would have been different than that you see in the United States? 15. Sometimes parents want their kids to behave the way they would in India, but their kids want to behave more like American kids. Does that happen in your family? Probe: If yes, how often? How do you deal with such situations? 16. Tell me why do you go to the Gurdwara Sahib with your children? What role does Gurdwara (Sikh congregation) play to keep children close to their religion? 17. Tell me about the important teachings of Sikhism that you would like your children to learn. Probe: What do you do to teach them about your religion? 18. What are the different ceremonies in your religion as children are growing up? 19. When children ask questions about their religion and its practices, how do you educate them? 20. When children get different messages about their religious identities in school (or outside of home and community), how do you deal with those differences? Belongings/Identity 21. Having lived in the US for several years, do you feel that you belong here? Probes: Why or why not? 22. Where do you consider your home? India or the US? Why? 286 23. Has it been easy to keep your own culture and religious identity since you moved to the US? Probe: What has made this easy and what has made it difficult? 24. How do you educate people in the United States about your religion? Probe: Do people ask more often about turban and other outward markers? 25. Do people in the US often confuse you with Muslims? How do you deal with it? 26. How has it been changed after 9/11 attack to live in the United States? Closing Questions 27. If I don’t know anything about Sikhism, what are those five things that you would like to teach me about your religion? 28. Anything else that you would like to share? 287 FOCUS GROUP PROTOCOL FOR GRANDPARENTS Demographic questions 1. When did you come to the United States? Probe: Did your children come with you? Did your children sponsor you? 2. How old were you when you came to America? 3. How old are you now? 4. What do you do for living? 5. What other activities are you involved in besides your job? What do you do to entertain yourself after work? 6. Do you live with your adult child and his/her family? 7. What roles do you play at home in terms of helping your son’s/daughter’s family? 8. Tell me about your relationship with your grandchildren. What do you do for them? How do you spend your time with them? 9. What are your expectations from your adult children/spouses? 10. What are your expectations from your grandchildren? 11. What differences do you see in the ways that you raised your children and the way your children are raising their grandchildren? 12. Has your relationship been changed with your adult children after coming to the United States? 13. How else do you support your adult child’s families? 14. Tell me about your affiliation with the Gurdwara Sahib. How do you feel coming here? 15. Tell me about the work that you do for your community. 16. How do you teach your grandchildren about Sikhism? 17. Has it been easy to keep your cultural and religious values after coming to the United States? 18. What are some of the challenges and difficulties that you have faced after coming to the United States? How have you dealt with them? 19. What are the other things that you would like to tell me that I may not have covered in the interview? 288 INTERVIEW PROTOCOL FOR CHILD AGES 8-12 YEARS Demographic Information 1. How old are you now? 2. What school do you go to? 3. What grade are you in? 4. Tell me about your school. 5. What do you like best about school? 6. What do you like least about school? 7. What language do you read and write in best? 8. Are your friends mostly from India or from other countries, too? Main questions 9. What has it been like for you to live in the United States? 10. How are you doing in school? What scores are you getting in most of your subjects? 11. What is one thing that you are good at? 12. What is one thing that you would like to see some improvement? 13. What do you learn from your parents about your Indian culture, things like a. Worship b. Food c. Holidays d. What to wear e. How to get along with other people f. How do you do these things? 289 14. Do the kids at school do things differently than you in a. Worship b. Food c. Holidays d. What they wear e. How to get along with other people 15. If the other kids do things differently, how do you feel about that? 16. Sometimes parents want their kids to behave the way they would in India, but their kids want to behave more like American kids. Does that happen in your family? What can you tell me about this? 17. What religious things do you learn from your mom and dad? 18. Do you ever teach your parents about English? If so, what is that like? 19. How important is it for you to celebrate Indian holidays? 20. Do you celebrate any American holidays? If so, which ones? 21. What do you think it will be like to move back to India, if that is your parents’ plan? 22. When did you visit India last time? What was it like? 23. Do you call yourself Indian, Punjabi, Sikh or American or all? 24. Do you consider yourself as a ‘cool kid?’ Why? Why not? 290 INTERVIEW PROTOCOL FOR BOYS AGES 13-17 YEARS Demographic questions 1.Where were you born? If United States, skip Q2. 2. How old were you when you came to America? 3. How old are you now? 4. Are you currently in school? If not, what are you doing? 5. What music do you listen to these days? 6. What language do you read and write in best? 7. How are you doing in school? What are the grades that you are getting in most subjects? 8. What is one thing that you are good at? 9. What is one thing that you think you need some improvement in? 10. After finishing your education, what would you like to do? 11. What are your important goals in life? 12. Are your friends mostly Punjabi, Indians or mostly non-Punjabis and non-Indians? Do your non-Indian friends share similar ideas as you about what it means to be successful? What about your Indian friends? 13. Are most of your friends, girls, boys, or both? 14. Do you have brothers or sisters? How many? Main questions 15. Tell me about your experience of living in the U.S. 16. What are some of the difficulties and challenges that you have experienced since coming to the U.S.? How have you dealt with some of those concerns? What and who was most helpful for you during this time? Tell me about how you dealt with those challenges? 17. Since coming to the U.S., have there been any changes in your relationship with your parents? How have you adjusted to these changes? 291 18. What do you learn from your parents about your Punjabi (Indian) culture? What are the things that your parents teach you most about? 19. What role does your religion play in your day-to-day life? 20. Does your English language learning affect communication with your parents? 21. Sometimes parents want their kids to behave the way they would in India, but their kids want to behave more like American kids. Does that happen in your family? If yes, how often? How do you and your parents deal with such situations? 22. When it comes to dating someone, would the nationality of the person matter to you? Would you then follow your parents’ wishes about dating? 23. Do you ever question your parents’ authority/judgment/decisions? 24. What does being a Sikh mean to you? How important is it? Has the importance of this changed over time? If so, in what way has it changed? 25. Do you identify with being Sikh, Indian, South Asian or Indian American, or do the labels not matter to you? Otherwise, how do you distinguish between these labels? Has your identification changed over time? 26. How would you describe yourself? 27. How important is it for you to celebrate Punjabi (Indian) holidays? Why? 28. How important is it for you to celebrate American holidays? Why? 29. When did you visit India last time? If someone is to go visit India for the first time, what would you tell them to expect? 30. If you have a cousin who is coming to the US, what advice would you give him or her about adapting to life in the US? 31. Has it been easy to keep your own culture and religious identity in the US? What has made this easy and what has made it difficult? 292 FOCUS GROUP PROTOCOL FOR GIRLS 13-17 YEARS Demographic questions 1. Where were you born? If United States, skip Q2. 2. How old were you when you came to America? 3. How old are you now? 4. Are you currently in school? If not, what are you doing? 5. What music do you listen to these days? 6. What language do you read and write in best? 7. How are you doing in school? What are the grades that you are getting in most subjects? 8. What is one thing that you are good at? 9. What is one thing that you think you need some improvement in? 10. After finishing your education, what would you like to do? 11. What are your important goals in life? 12. Are your friends mostly Punjabi, Indians or mostly non-Punjabis and non-Indians? Do your non-Indian friends share similar ideas as you about what it means to be successful? What about your Indian friends? 13. Are most of your friends, girls, boys, or both? 14. Do you have brothers or sisters? How many? Main questions 15. Tell me about your experience of living in the U.S. 16. What are some of the difficulties and challenges that you have experienced since coming to the U.S.? How have you dealt with some of those concerns? What and who was most helpful for you during this time? Tell me about how you dealt with those challenges? 17. Since coming to the U.S., have there been any changes in your relationship with your parents? How have you adjusted to these changes? 293 18. What do you learn from your parents about your Punjabi (Indian) culture? What are the things that your parents teach you most about? 19. What role does your religion play in your day-to-day life? 20. Does your English language learning affect communication with your parents? 21. Sometimes parents want their kids to behave the way they would in India, but their kids want to behave more like American kids. Does that happen in your family? If yes, how often? How do you and your parents deal with such situations? 22. When it comes to dating someone, would the nationality of the person matter to you? Would you then follow your parents’ wishes about dating? 23. Do you ever question your parents’ authority/judgment/decisions? 24. What does being a Sikh mean to you? How important is it? Has the importance of this changed over time? If so, in what way has it changed? 25. Do you identify with being Sikh, Indian, South Asian or Indian American, or do the labels not matter to you? Otherwise, how do you distinguish between these labels? Has your identification changed over time? 26. How would you describe yourself? 27. How important is it for you to celebrate Punjabi (Indian) holidays? Why? 28. How important is it for you to celebrate American holidays? Why? 29. When did you visit India last time? If someone is to go visit India for the first time, what would you tell them to expect? 30. If you have a cousin who is coming to the US, what advice would you give him or her about adapting to life in the US? 31. Has it been easy to keep your own culture and religious identity in the US? What has made this easy and what has made it difficult? 294 APPENDIX-V GLOSSARY OF TERMS 295 GLOSSARY OF TERMS (Minhas, 1994; p. 78-80) Akhand Paath: Continuous reading of the Guru Granth Sahib from cover to over, taking forty-eight hours Amrit: Initiation; “Nectar of immortality,” used in initiation ceremonies Anand Karaj: The religious part of a Sikh wedding, or “The ceremony of Bliss” Dastar: A turban, worn to cover Sikh’s uncut hair Diwali: A festival of lights celebrated throughout the Indian subcontinent Gurdwara: A Sikh place of worship, or temple Gurmukhi: The script for the Punjabi language Guru: A holy man or a spiritual teacher; one who dispels ignorance or darkness (gu) and proclaims enlightenment (ru) Guru Granth Sahib: The Sikh holy book or scriptures Kacha: Short breeches, one of the Five Ks Kanga: A wooden comb, worn to represent a clean mind and body Kara: A steel bracelet worn on the wrist as a sign of the eternity of God, one of the Five Ks Karha Prasad: A sacrament made from clarified butter, water, flour, and sugar Kaur: A Sikh middle name meaning “lioness or princess” Keshdharis: “Ones with long hair,” those who do not cut their hair, do wear turbans, but may or may not keep the other K’s Kes: “Uncut hair,” represents a simple life, saintliness, wisdom, and devotion of God, one of the Five Ks Khalsa: The Sikh brotherhood, symbolized by the Five Ks, the Kirpan, kes, kara, kanga, and kacha 296 Khanda: The symbol of Sikhism Kirpan: A sword worn by Sikhs, representing freedom and indomitable spirit, one of the Five Ks Keertan: Hymns sung and recited at congregations accompanied with music Langar: Means “free kitchen” in a Gurdwara or a Sikh congregation, run voluntarily with free serving of food Panj Pyares: The “five beloved ones” Punjab: “The land of five rivers,” Punjab is one of the states of India and a place of origin for many Sikhs Patkas/Parna: Head coverings worn by Sikh boys before they start wearing turbans at adolescence Rakhi: “Ribbon,” a festival that celebrates the love between brothers and sisters in which the sister ties a ribbon around her brother’s wrist and he gives her the gift of money an unleavened bread made from whole wheat flour Salwar Kameez: Traditional apparel for Sikh women, also called a Punjabi suit Shabad Keertan: Singing of Hymns Sikh: “Disciple,” a follower the Sikh religion Singh: A Sikh middle or last name, meaning “lion” Vaishakhi: The most important Sikh festival, usually held on April 13, on the day of the Tenth Guru established the order of the Khalsa 297 BIBLIOGRAPHY 298 BIBLIOGRAPHY Abo - Zena, M. 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