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DATE DUE DATE DUE DATE DUE 5/08 K:IProj/Acc&Pres/ClRC/DateDue.indd FOOTSTEPS OF MY OWN: GENDER ISSUES THAT INFLUENCE THE FORMATIVE EXPERIENCES OF EXEMPLARY WOMEN CHORAL CONDUCTORS By Janet Sue Brenneman A DISSERTATION Submitted to Michigan State University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY College of Music 2007 ABSTRACT FOOTSTEPS OF MY OWN: GENDER ISSUES THAT INFLUENCE THE FORMATIVE EXPERIENCES OF EXEMPLARY WOMEN CHORAL CONDUCTORS By Janet Sue Brenneman Issues of gender permeate all aspects of music, music education, and music making. Gender issues that influence the formative experiences of exemplary women choral conductors reside in the stories that women choral conductors choose to relate and the manner in which they relate their stories. The purpose of this research was to develop an understanding of and to document the personal experiences of exceptional women choral conductors, with a particular focus on emergent gender issues. Individual, in-depth interviews were conducted to gather the life stories of three exemplary women choral conductors. Each interview produced extensive transcripts with rich details from life stories including family influences, educational practice, and career experiences. In addition, the researcher became a fourth participant in this study, and related her stories in an interview created from the same framework of questions used with the three primary participants. Drawing upon the practices of narrative research methodology, gender-related themes emerged from the collected narratives. The gathered collection of stories gave insights into the , formative experiences of the participating choral conductors as well as to the issues that influenced their experiences. In the analysis of these stories, it was important to consider both articulated issues of gender and enacted issues of gender, as well as spoken and unspoken gender-related influences. This study invites a conversation that explores issues of gender as found within the experiences of women choral directors. In many ways, this is not a new conversation; it is an expansion of many existing conversations. Women in music have been negotiating their “place at the table” for many years, and women’s life experiences have only recently constituted legitimate knowledge for research purposes (Koza, 1993b). This study serves to contribute to the current conversation in new ways. Copyright by JANET SUE BRENNEMAN 2007 DEDICATION for my parents, who have lovingly supported and encouraged my footsteps ACKNOWLEDGMENTS For all those who supported me in the research and writing of this dissertation, I offer my deepest gratitude. First, I wish to thank my doctoral committee at Michigan State University for their expertise, generous feedback, and collegiality - Cynthia Taggart, Sandra Snow, Mitchell Robinson, and John Kratus. l humbly thank my advisor, Cynthia Taggart, for her endless generosity in time, unfailing support, and gentle patience throughout the entire process. I thank the remarkable and brilliant women in this study for allowing me the distinct privilege to hear their stories. It is an honour to be part of their lives and to be able to share their personal and inspiring narratives in this context. I warmly acknowledge the faculty and students at Canadian Mennonite University for their encouragement and support, especially my colleague Pamela Leach for taking an active part in the research process, for strongly encouraging me to include my story, and for her judicious readings of the first drafts. Special thanks to my mentor, Doreen Rao, for being an important part of my story by enabling and nurturing the choral conductor in me, and for continuing to provide love and support along my professional and personal journey. Finally, I thank my friends and family, without whom, none of this would have been possible. Thanks especially to my beautiful children, Lydia and Naomi, who continue to amaze me with their patience as I juggle career and family responsibilities. Most importantly, I thank my extraordinary husband, John Balsillie, for his constant support and unconditional love. . vi TABLE OF CONTENTS LIST OF FIGURES ............................................................................... ix CHAPTER 1 - Introduction: A Personal Story ........................................... 1 My Story - A Matter of Formation and Some Questions ......................... 1 The Influence of Pedagogical Practice ........................................... 2 Music Learning Opportunities and Mentorship: Voices of Encouragement ..... 5 Early Career Experiences: Gendered Perspectives .................................. 6 Negotiating the Guilt of Professional Career and Parental Responsibilities....8 The Questions in My Story ............................................................ 10 Music and Gender: Is There a Problem? .......................................... 12 CHAPTER 2 - Review of Literature ................................................... 15 Understanding the Concept of Gender ................................................... 15 Gender Issues From a Feminist (“Genderist”) Perspective ........................ 16 Subject Versus Other ..................................................................... 19 Women in Education: Issues of Gender .......................................... 21 Women in Music: Issues of Gender and Feminist Perspectives ............... 24 Musicology .............................................................................. 27 Music Education .............................................................................. 29 Performance: Vocal and Instrumental ................................................... 32 Performance: Conducting ............................................................ 35 Justification for and Implications of this Study ................................. 39 Purpose and Problems ..................................................................... 41 CHAPTER 3 — Methodology ............................................................ 44 Research Design .............................................................................. 44 Story Telling: Beyond Fiction ................................................... 49 Narrative Research Methodology .............................. 52 The Consent Document ............................................................ 54 Participants .............................................................................. 55 The Interviews ..................................................................... 58 Self-Disclosure: We Are in the Parade We Presume to Study ............... 61 Data Analysis .............................................................................. 65 Overcoming the Challenges in Narrative Analysis ........................ 65 Narrative Analysis - Five Levels of Representation ........................ 66 Interpreting Women’s Lives ................................................... 73 CHAPTER 4 — Her Story: Small Incidences Along the Way ........................ 77 Emergent Themes .............................................................................. 77 Trustworthiness .............................................................................. 80 Describing Past Musical Experiences: Influence on Current Practice ............... 82 vii Influence of Family: “There Was Always Music in My Home” ............... 83 Influence of Teachers: “Our Lessons Together Were Exercises in Joy”...94 Influence of Mentors: Some Gendered Perspectives ........................ 98 Professional Beginnings: “An Interesting Road” ............................... 105 Summary ..................................................................................... 116 CHAPTER 5 — Her Story: Footsteps of My Own ........................................ 117 Observations and Descriptions of Self: Experiences that Define and Shape Women Choral Conductors ................................................. 117 Celia’s Story: Awareness of Gender on the Podium ...................... 118 Susanne’s Story: Opposing Gender ........................................ 126 Karen’s Story: Resistance to Gender ........................................ 137 Dismissing Gender Labels: Enacted Issues ........................................ 143 The Engendering of Choral Conductors ................................................. 146 Gender Differences as Physical Stereotypes ............................... 147 Ownership, Acknowledgment and Celebration of Gender: Articulated lssues...149 Negotiating Gender, Self-Image, and Philosophical Goals ...................... 155 Conclusions ..................................................................................... 163 CHAPTER 6 — Summay, Conclusions, and Recommendations ............. 165 Summary ..................................................................................... 165 Conclusions and Recommendations ................................................. 166 Influence of the Past .......................................................... 167 Gendered Experiences .......................................................... 171 Women Choral Conductors on the Podium ............................... 173 Enacted Versus Articulated Issues of Gender ............................... 175 Impact of the Interviews: Implications for Music Education ............. 177 Impact of the Interviews: Personal Implications ............................... 178 On the Podium for the Right Reasons: “Is There a Problem?” ............. 179 APPENDIX A - Topics for Interview Questions ........................................ 181 APPENDIX B - Interview Guide .......................................................... 183 APPENDIX C - Consent Document ................................................. 185 APPENDIX D — Transcription Notation System for Conversation Analysis ....189 REFERENCES ............................................................................ 192 viii LIST OF FIGURES Figure 4-1: Sub-themes identified through narrative analysis ........................ 80 Chapter 1 - Introduction: A Personal Story I have a story to tell. It is mine, and, while it may involve many others, it is ultimately a story about my formation as a woman choral conductor. This story is a collage of many smaller stories put together, that, as seen through my personal lens, describe how I became who I am and how I relate to others in my life. The larger story includes stories about my family, my education, my career, and my spiritual being, and all of the stories are an inter-weaving of these aspects. My story does not offer universal truths or answers to challenging questions; rather, it provides a lens through which I perceive the stories of those around me, some of which form the basis of this dissertation. I am a musician, an educator, a professional woman, a partner in marriage, and a mother. This is my story.1 My Story: A Matter of Formation and Some Questions I am from a musical family. My father is a musician, with very little formal training. However, he has been a choral singer and a choral conductor since he was a young teenager, growing up in rural Ontario. He is very involved in music in the Church and was a major influence on my musical experiences when l was very young. In addition, my grandfather was a self-taught musician who played the violin at church and at family gatherings. I have some wonderful memories of my grandfather playing the fiddle. I am proud of my father for having been I My story, as told in this context, incorporates a personal conversation and interview conducted by Dr. Pamela Leach on November 18, 2005 in Winnipeg, Manitoba. Dr. Leach is Professor of Political Studies at Canadian Mennonite University in Winnipeg. I provided Dr. Leach involved with music at an amateur level for all of his adult life. He has pursued musical activities not for employment reasons, academic achievement, or compensation; rather, he has participated in music for the pure musical enjoyment that he experiences. The Influence of Pedagogical Practice My own formal music education began at the age of eight, with the beginning of piano lessons. There was a rule in our family that my siblings and I had to take piano lessons. I have always believed that I was the only one that my parents did not let quit. My older siblings stopped taking piano lessons when they grew tired of the practice, but my parents did not allow me to do so. However, when I asked them about this, my parents said that I never really wanted to quit, so they knew that they just had to continue to encourage me and I would continue my studies. I believe my parents realized I had potential for musical success long before I did. When I was a young child, I did not have many professional music role models. It did not occur to me that music could be a professional way of life for my family and me. Music was a wonderful leisure activity and an important component in our church life, but there were no examples of doing music on a professional level, especially in the church.2 We did not have professional with a copy of the interview guide used for the other participants in my study and she led the conversation based on the questions found in that guide. See Appendix B for the Interview Guide. I grew up in the Mennonite church, a faith practice whose biblical theology centres on following the way of Jesus Christ. While Mennonites share essential core belief with Christians of Catholic and Protestant communities, they emphasize the connections between faith, words, and actions, and are frequently known for their practices of humanitarian aid, peacemaking and social justice. As a voluntary community, the Mennonite church also enables the lay leadership of its instrumentalists, singers, or a regular church choir because, in our church, the entire congregation sang during worship services in four-part harmony. The congregation was the choir. In addition, my piano instructors were not strong, professional models when l was a young child. I still remember the sting of their negative comments and the relentless criticism with very little praise to offer as a counterbalance. For my parents who firmly guided me on the path towards music professionalism, I am very grateful. They must have known that music education as a professional pursuit would eventually be a good fit for me. Just before I began my formal music studies in university, I studied piano with a teacher who made a profound difference in how I approached a musical work. Finally, I was studying with someone who wanted to teach me more than just to play the right notes at the right time. She helped me to think about the interpretation of each composition. No one before her had told me how I might bring the music more to life or to put breath into the phrases. I believe that I gained the ability to explore the musical details in a deeper manner as I began to understand better the process of musical interpretation. Because of this teacher, I was never satisfied with my music making unless it “sounded good,” and, this required more than achieving a performance of technical precision and accurate pitches or rhythms. This required a deeper understanding of the music that I still desire and hope to communicate to my audience. Until I studied with her, I did not think I was a successful pianist. | credit her for bringing some joy and members; that is, the gathered community serves together in establishing the work of the church. Musical leadership is no exception to this. confidence back into my music making, and, ultimately, it was probably because of her affirming nature that I changed my career path. If I could study piano again, it would be with that teacher. Looking back, I realize that these were formative years during which I decided to pursue music at a professional level. Sometimes, I credit the impetus for my decision to study music in university with my high school choral teacher. He encouraged me to take music; in fact, he admonished me for initially considering other, non-musical options.‘3 However, my piano teacher had a clear role in that decision, as She worked with me to prepare a suitable program for my university entrance auditions. I regret that, in my youth, I never fully expressed my gratitude for her, but I hope she found satisfaction in knowing her student had successfully met the required, audition challenges for university. My school music teachers were the main reason that I never lost interest in music education pursuits. My school music teachers affirmed my abilities and gifts, and they allowed me to develop those gifts in a safe, nurturing environment. This lesson informs my attitude, demeanour, and pedagogical practice when working with young children. Perhaps I learned from those early experiences how important it is to be a good model for my students, and how to encourage rather than discourage their musical development. 3 My high school teacher was the real reason I felt I could pursue music. I had found real joy in music making with my high school choir, and my teacher (whom I have always admired and respected), encouraged me to change my university application from a BA. in English to a B. Music Learning Opportunities and Mentorship: Voices of Encouragement When I was a conducting student enrolled in a graduate program in music education, my mentor was cognizant of a musical self-awareness in me, and took the opportunity to affirm my own sense of this. I did not consciously choose her as a mentor; rather, we recognized compatibility in our relationship that naturally drew us closer together. From her, I came to believe that I had the musical capabilities and the musical intelligence to be successful in my endeavours. Because of my mentor’s encouragement and guidance, I found intrinsic value in pursuing a musical career. She guided my musical choices and career decisions throughout our years together in my formal study at the university. She invited me to be her apprentice with the university choirs, and she persuaded the university to hire me as a faculty member during her sabbatical year. Therefore, I was convinced that my mentor had great confidence in my gifts and abilities, and that she trusted me to maintain the strength and high standards within the university’s choral program. My other choral conducting teachers did not provide me with the same kind of opportunities. The relationships that I had with those teachers were less personal and more traditional in how I perceived our clearly defined roles as teacher and student. These roles ensured that private and personal relationships were somewhat limited throughout the learning process. One of my teachers built and maintained a wall around his private life that provided him with sanctity and Music Education degree program. His words at the time were: “What are you doing THAT (B.A.) for? YOU should be applying for a music program!" I have never looked back... with protection. Despite the perceived walls, I learned many valuable lessons from these conducting teachers. Their commitment to the art and craft of choral conducting is admirable, and I am grateful for the opportunity to have studied with these master conductors. Early Career Experiences: Gendered Perspectives In the mid 19905, when l was still a graduate student, I taught choral music education and conducted choirs at the University of Toronto. One day, a disgruntled, undergraduate voice student came to my office for a choral audition. In the previous year, the choral faculty had mistakenly placed this student in a training choir, even though he was a voice major and, indeed, had a very fine vocal instrument. Knowing this, I encouraged this particular student to audition again so that I could confirm the mistaken placement. I heard his audition in the office I was using, which was a very small, closet-type space. At first, he sang a beautiful, simple folksong for his audition. I commented on his lovely voice, and ensured him that we would remedy the situation for his next choral placement. Then, without any notice or invitation, he sang an aggressive Italian aria, using his full voice and at full volume. He stood very close to me; I could feel his breath on my face, and it felt like someone had thrown me back against the wall, with that strong, forceful push of sound. His plight was not my fault; however, he chose to take his frustration out on me, and to prove his musical domination over me. Until that experience, I did not fully understand that we could do violence with music. This was an act of intimidation, and I understand this to be because of my gender. I do not believe that he would have behaved in such an aggressive way had I been male. A few years later, I was holding auditions for a community choir at the beginning of my first season as their new conductor. I decided to hear auditions for all who desired membership, from both new and returning singers. However, I insisted that I would accept any returning members into the choir, regardless of the outcome of their audition. My intention was to make a smooth transition from the past to my present leadership role with this choir. However, the suggestion of the audition procedure upset and insulted a returning choir member. He came to his audition but was uncooperative. He refused to allow the choir’s pianist to stay in the room during his audition, he turned his back to me whenever I asked him to sing, and he stood above me and looked over my shoulder as I wrote comments on the audition form. Certainly, I felt intimidated, mistrusted, and disrespected as a musician. In the late 19905, I attended a local music education conference designed for graduate students and their professors. It was just before the time of this conference that I had decided to explore the topic of gender issues and their impact on the experiences of women Choral directors. Still new to the topic, I hesitated to share the details when asked, “What’s your dissertation topic?” by a professor from another university. When I did inform him of my not-yet-formally- approved topic, his immediate response was: “Is there a problem?” Negotiating the Guilt of Professional Career and Parental Responsibilities My roles as wife and mother further weave my story together. My husband and I chose to have our children when we were in our late twenties, beginning in 1998. At that time, we were both young, relatively mobile, and flexible in the direction and formation of our careers. l interrupted my doctoral program in music education and took several years off to concentrate on parental responsibilities. We have two children, ages eight and six. Our Children have blessed our lives together in many ways. Nevertheless, the duality of responsibility that I feel as a mother and as a professional academic and choral conductor creates a tension that I struggle to resolve. Although, I receive remarkable domestic and familial support from my spouse, nothing can prevent the traditional feelings that suggest that I should be able to do all of this without accepting any support. My mother is my parental role model. She took on the majority of the parental responsibilities while my father worked long hours. My mother was home when her four children were young. There are times in my life when I feel that I should be home, because this is my model for accomplished parenting. l have experienced difficult times coming to terms with wanting to pursue my career, and this pursuit sometimes feels like a guilty pleasure, since I love what I do. Naturally, I also love my children; however, there are times when I believe that love is not enough, because I am unable to fully attend to or provide for the physical and emotional needs of my young children. Currently, I am Assistant Professor of Music at Canadian Mennonite University in Winnipeg, Manitoba, where I teach music education, music theory and conduct the CMU Chamber Choir, the CMU Singers, and the CMU Women’s Chorus. A few months ago, this institution granted me tenure. I also conduct a community children’s chorus and a Church choir in Winnipeg, Manitoba. My active, professional involvement in music making enriches my life. Without the events of my formative stories, my professional and personal life would have a different context than it does today. I have many more stories to tell - stories that relate to my experiences as a choral conductor and a music educator. My stories are unique to me and to my personal and professional life experiences. My stories do not represent themes or subjects that can be generalized to others’ life experiences; however, my stories can contribute to a growing body of research on the meanings constructed from narrative and life stories. Most importantly, my stories are included in an attempt to acknowledge and clarify my subjective position as the author of the present study (Koskoff, 2000). The topic of gender issues and women Choral conductors holds great personal and professional interest for me. I am part of the stories that this study seeks to gather and re-tell. All of my stories have raised the questions that I ask of other women choral conductors in the context of this study. In asking questions, and in the re-telling of these stories, my voice and my subjective being are included and become part of the woven fabric of whole story. The Questions in My Story My family and my church family affirmed my musical gifts, and it was in those settings that I found joy in music performance rather than in more formal music venues like piano recitals. Because I recognize and acknowledge the influence my family has had in shaping my musical self, I wonder how their families have musically influenced other women choral conductors. What are the early experiences of women choral conductors, and how have their families influenced these experiences? My teachers have also been influential in shaping my musical experiences. Some of the most important things that I learned from my mentor are to be committed to what I do, to strive for excellence, and to continuously desire improvement. I am grateful for what she has offered me, and I recognize how I might make take ownership of what I have learned. Most important, I needed to learn from the way she made me feel; worthy, self-confident, and competent. At the time, I was too young to understand the importance of this. To this day, I hear her encouraging me to develop my own voice and to make sure others hear my voice. For this reason, I want to examine the music educational experiences of other women choral conductors. How have these educational experiences influenced their pedagogical practices? I have experienced uncomfortable and distressing moments in my career as a choral conductor. These parts of my life story focus on relationships with other people, and negotiating the various challenges of those relationships was sometimes difficult. At times, I perceived these challenges to be gender-related. 1O The stories of negative choral audition experiences are examples of gender- related experiences. In both stories, I did not want to create any turbulence in my first professional positions as a Choral conductor. At the time, I felt I was too young to do that. While I felt mistrusted as a musician, I now believe that the men in these stories probably felt mistrusted in the same way. Should I have trusted the singer's judgement that he was good enough and did not need to audition for my choir? Perhaps the audition process was intimidating for both men. My present teaching situation is unique in that I teach in the area of music education at an institution theologically grounded in a spiritual faith. My students bear witness to my inner, spiritual being on a regular basis as integrating faith into the classroom is standard practice at this institution. The students and I worship together, we explore spiritual elements in the music and in our lives, and, for the most part, we share common faith experiences. This does not allow us to build walls; rather, this encourages a relationship that is open, honest, and accepting of similar and dissimilar perspectives. Of course, musical excellence is a large part of the success of my teaching and my commitment to that is something I learned from each of my conducting teachers. Questions that arise from the stories of my career suggest that the stories of other women choral conductors need exploration for issues of gender. How might women share their experiences with each other, so that we might learn from each other’s experiences? As well, what are the experiences of women choral conductors for which we may not openly articulate gender, but may recognize gender as part of the fabric? 11 Music and Gender: Is There a Problem? My stories serve to remind others and myself that contemporary Western society and its future generations should not ignore the gender issues that still play a role in the private and professional lives of women in music. Gender issues may not have the same attributes or essence that they once had in the dramatic feminist movements of the 1970's (Acker, 1994; Gaskell & McLaren, 1991 ), but they are nonetheless prevalent in women’s experiences, musical and otherwise. As well, scholars have observed the lack of integration for prevailing gender issues in today’s society, and that gender issues “remain the near- exclusive concern of women and more specifically feminists within the field” (Acker, 1994, p.156). The issues enacted and articulated in my stories constitute the purpose of this study - to tell the stories and personal narratives of women, in particular, women choral conductors. Although I believe that gender issues may play a major role in the formative experiences of successful women choral conductors, I have not experienced extreme inequalities in the workplace or in my home because of my gender. In fact, for many years, I took my particular situation for granted; not stopping to think and remember that gender equality and the acknowledged rights of women in our Western society are relatively recent phenomena. I am, thankfully, a product of a generation and era that, for the most part, presents women with equal opportunities and non-stereotypical roles to play or career paths to pursue. However, at the same time, I am aware that the perception in 12 our society that the life experiences of women are unimportant or unsuccessful in some respects still exists. Gaskell & McLaren (1991) suggest: Gender is fundamental to the ways we interact with each other, to the ways our public and private lives are organized. Its significance is evident almost everywhere we look - in the wages of men and women, in the structuring of friendships, in the persistence of Cinderella myths, and in the organization of domestic tasks. (p. 2) It is reasonable to suggest that gender issues will enter our personal lives, our public lives, and the career paths or course of study that we choose for ourselves. Subsequently, in the field of music, it is reasonable to suggest that gender issues permeate all aspects of the world of music and music making. My stories suggest that gender issues enter my personal and professional life at various levels. Therefore, it is reasonable to suggest that gender issues may enter the personal and professional lives of other women choral conductors. Often, the gender issues in the music profession arise not from obvious and overt occurrences or events; rather, problems arise when we begin to examine the representation of gender in its various forms. As Koza (1993a) and McWiIIiams (2003) propose, it is important to examine the absence of and the origin of gender issues throughout the realm of a given profession. Whose knowledge is being represented and is deemed worthy of attention? Where are the silences and gaps? Who is represented, and conversely, who and what are the subjects that are being ignored? These are the questions that arise from my 13 stories and that set the stage for the stories told by other women choral conductors. 14 Chapter 2 — Review of Literature “Gender is inherent in all aspects of the music education profession” (Gould, 2004,p.67) Understanding the Concept of Gender Theterm, “gender” is often associated with the term “sex”, although most researchers would agree that the definition of gender is not necessarily the same as that of biological sex (Brannon, 1996; Green, 1997). Gender is an historical and social construction (Citron, 1993; Green, 1997; Koza, 1993a) that describes and acknowledges differences between or attributes of masculinity and femininity. Personal acknowledgement of these described differences is somewhat irrelevant: “Whether or not one personally subscribes to these differences, there is ovenrvhelming evidence to suggest that society constructs gender differences based on the constraining notion that men should be masculine and women feminine” (O’Toole, 1998, p. 9). In music, Cook and Tsou (1994) claim that gender is an influential element in all aspects of musical culture; “identifying the cultural construction of gender ' means identifying women’s oppression and acknowledging the many painful realities of patriarchal beliefs and practice” (Cook & Tsou, 1994, p. 2). I Consequently, gender is unavoidable in any type of research activity. The ways in which individuals perceive themselves highlights the importance of gender and how the worlds and events in which individuals participate are constructed. Gender influences human relationships in various cultures and societies (Jarvluoma et al, 2003). Citron (1993) defines the understanding of “gender" in 15 this study, whereby gender is the “social constructedness of what maleness and femaleness means in a given culture” (p.5). Gender Issues from a Feminist (“Genderist”) Perspective’ A classic definition of a feminist is “someone who believes that women suffer from systematic social injustice because of their sex” (Richards, 1980 as cited in Acker, 1994, p. 27). The strong opposition to these social injustices forced upon women propelled the feminist movement of the 1970s. This movement sought to expose the inequalities for women with respect to their gender, declaring that stereotypical “sex roles” were inhibiting for women and men in their full development as female and male members of society (Gaskell & McLaren, 1991). The feminist movement sparked the research practices of feminist theory and feminist critique. Gould (2004) explains the nature of feminist cnfique: Feminist critique challenges the profession to address the ways in which gender is inherent so that we may identify and implement approaches for change that are grounded in the material conditions of everyday life. As a social phenomenon and a philosophical approach, feminist theory has been accepted slowly in the profession, however, and is consequently poorly understood. (p. 67) ' The terms "feminism” and “feminist" are regarded by some European authors as American ethnocentric concepts; therefore, Moisala and Diamond (2000) employ the terms, “genderism” and “genderist.” ' 16 While this study does not profess to employ a particular or specific feminist theoretical foundation per se, it remains important to identify certain characteristics of feminism and feminist thought as central to the issues surrounding gender, difference, and music. Acker (1994) believes that, “feminist theoretical frameworks address, above all, the question of women’s subordination to men: how it arose, how and why it is perpetuated, how it might be changed and (sometimes) what life would be like without it” (p. 43). In this manner, feminist theory can be viewed as a guide to understanding inequalities concerning gender. Gender issues are central to feminist thinking and the characteristics of feminism (Biklen, 1995). Feminism, according to Lamb (1994) is an “ideology (ies) seeking nothing less than the reorganization of the world through a commitment to eradicating ideologies of domination” (p. 61). This definition is inclusive in its quest to reorganize the “ideologies of domination” with reference to issues of social class and race as well as gender. Lamb further describes feminism as a mode of analysis or a method of approaching life in aSking questions that enable us to “name and experience the articulate consciousness of mind in women in all its different forms of expression” (Lamb, 1994, p. 62). In music, feminism as critique has disrupted conventional ways of thinking about and doing music performance, musicology, critical theory, and music education. Since issues of race, class, and gender permeate music, therefore, these issues have “an effect on music and are affected by music” Lamb, 1994, p. 63). 17 Feminist thinking emphasizes both commonalities and differences among women and is dependent upon context in its attempt to provide meaningful understanding. Neglecting context may lead to misunderstanding and misinterpretation (Personal Narratives Group, 1989). The defining context for feminist theory varies greatly as dictated by society: “If women share a common need to negotiate their way through varieties of patriarchy, the particular conditions that prevail in any society - the contexts that both constrain and give meaning to women’s lives - vary enormously" (Personal Narratives Group, 1989, p. 19). Exposing contexts and systems of oppression, and dismantling stereotypes and binary assumptions for socially constructed aspects of gender remains the concerns of gender studies and feminist theory (Kielian-Gilbert, 2000) In the 19703, issues of gender in educational settings focused on the desire to eliminate the emphasis constantly placed on sex differences. According to feminists of this time, the term, “differences” served to suggest inequalities rather than work to eliminate them (Gaskell & McLaren, 1991). In the late 19703 and 1980s, the “problems” of feminism fell into a position behind other issues,- particularly those issues in education of multiculturalism and vocational preparation. Nevertheless, “women’s inequality persisted. Women continued to earn about 60 percent of what men earned, girls still aspired to traditionally female jobs and decent child care remained hard to find” (Gaskell & McLaren, 1991, p. 6). 18 Subject Versus Other Feminist scholarship has identified gender issues through the concept of male dominance, or patriarchy. Patriarchy is a social structure that consists of multiple relationships of power (economic, physical, or discursive), balanced and maintained by men rather than by women (Green, 1997; Lewis & Simon, 1991). Lewis and Simon (1991), in a graduate course designed to explore the possible questions surrounding relationships between language and power, believed that studying the concept of patriarchy in our society leads to a better understanding of why it is women who are dominated in our society, and why this domination takes place. Their study supported the frequent feeling of being “silenced” that many women experience in a patriarchal or a male-dominated society, such as our Western culture and society. However, the women in this study decided to collectively use this act of being silenced as a starting point for healing and change: “In a moment of collective insight we understood that we are our history, and our history is laid within patriarchy. To deny that we are a collective body is to deny not only our history but the possibilities for healing and recovery” (Lewis & Simon, 1991, p. 267). Gould (1994) describes the power and domination in Western culture as having created an “oppositionally constructed” society, rewarding some while sanctioning others. Western culture has assimilated the terms “one,” “he,” “everyone,” and “mankind” to represent humanity, while at the same time, naturally assuming a male definition behind each of these terms (Acker, 1994; Solie, 1993). Understanding “man” as a universal term demands that “woman” is 19 construed as a particular term and therefore, an oppositional term (Solie, 1993). In feminist thinking, this creates a relationship of dominance characterized by a “Subject” or, the component of society who is dominating and an “Other,” or the component of society who is being dominated (Acker, 1994; Gould, 1994; Solie, 1993). Gould (2003) suggests that women band directors perpetuate an accepted notion of instrumental music and conducting as Other, and threaten to upset the societal interpretations of domination: Accepting women as college band directors would position instrumental music and conducting as Other, creating further cultural tension for men college band directors. Similarly, allowing women to conduct college bands would reinforce the positionality of band music as Other, confirming its purported lesser aesthetic value. Finally, embodying the profession of college band directors as women would further marginalize its positionality as Other, increasing the outsider status of band directors in music. (p. 8) In feminist theory, women and minorities of social class or race are termed “Other,” or “outsiders” (Koza, 1993b; O’Toole, 1994). Believing that meaning is found in the differences between the Subject and Other, feminist research has emerged to focus on these differences in gender, social class, and ethnic race. For feminist thinking in music, Lamb (1994) suggests the importance of naming “others” in philosophical viewpoints and music education practices. She is particularly critical of praxial philosophy, as it does not explicitly address the issue: 20 My concerns herein are not so much with what is said in definition and explication of the praxial philosophy, but what is not said, that is: if “otherness” (e.g., gender, race, class, sexuality, ethnicity, abilities) is not named and addressed directly, the dominant group presumes universality and consequently can easily if not intentionally oppress. Employing a praxial philosophy does not yet shift the paradigm to embody the diversity of women’s experiences, among others, in its challenges and questions; it does not yet account for difference as if differences matter and play some central role in the meanings we make of music. (p. 66) Women in Education: Issues of Gender Feminist issues and issues of gender have had a great impact on education. Although it is unlikely that they were categorized as such at the time, gender issues existed in the late nineteenth century in the field of education. At that time, the gender issues in education focused on division of labor issues such as equal pay, and the view of teaching for women as preparation for motherhood in opposition to the view of teaching for men as a “stepping stone” to a more “lucrative” profession or a higher administrative position in education (Danylewcyz, Light, & Prentice et al?, 1991). In the 19703, feminist issues in education focused on identifying stereotypes or sex roles and differences in textbooks, classroom practices, and adult role models (Acker, 1994; Gaskell & McLaren, 1991). Feminism in the late 19703 and the 19803 investigated the structure of 21 educational settings in terms of its division of labor. Women were teachers, primarily in elementary educational settings, and men were in management positions (Gaskell & McLaren, 1991). These issues prompted a greater focus and development on gender in education as a topic for discussion at various conferences and as the basis for a 1989 release of the journal Gender and Education (Acker, 1994). The gender issues discussed at that time in education practices were directed towards teacher-pupil interaction, educational achievement, and gender as an organizing principle within the school structure: uniforms, curricular subjects, administrative practices and classroom activities (Acker, 1994). Throughout the late twentieth century, feminism and gender remained central issues in many educational settings (Acker, 1994; Bannerji, Carty, Dehli, Heald, & McKenna, 1992; Biklen, 1995; Gaskell & McLaren, 1991;). Recent studies on beliefs, images, and perceptions of teachers reveal that many gendered stereotypes remain in teacher education practices. Dolloff (2003) reports that pre-service teachers often feminize teaching, particularly at the elementary level, when instructed to draw images or describe the “ideal” teacher. Of particular interest to this study, male teachers were only prevalent on the conductor’s podium, specifically in band instrumental settings. The university has become a focal point for many feminist issues in that it is believed that women faculty members continue to occupy a minority or a “token” place within the university system, creating a place for ongoing feminist struggle (Acker, 1994; Bannerji et al,, 1992; Weaver, 1993;). Acker (1994) believes that when women teachers in university settings do speak out or act in 22 favour of feminist and gender issues, they are often perceived as and labeled the “department feminist.” Bellamy and Guppy (1991) observe that equal representation of women students in universities in the 19903 (Acker, 1994), now represents “commonplace” phenomena. In actuality, equal representation is actually a “relatively recent phenomena” (Bellamy & Guppy, 1991, p. 163). It was not until 1875 that a Canadian university conferred its first bachelor degree upon a woman (Bellamy & Guppy, 1991). The fact that more women than men in Canadian universities in the 19903 are graduating with degrees does not completely eradicate the gender issues in a university setting: Obstacles remain. The gender-divided nature of higher education persists. Certain fields of study (for instance, engineering) continue to attract relatively few women, and at graduate levels of education men continue to receive the bulk of degrees. Female instructors continue to predominate at the lower ranks of the college and university faculty, where they still receive significantly less pay than their male counterparts. (Bellamy & Guppy, 1991, p. 189) In American universities, gender equity has been an issue for women-in higher education for the past one hundred and fifty years (Weaver, 1993). In a 19803 survey of faculty members in departments of music at Big Ten Universities, Weaver (1993) studied salary inequities among men and women and concluded that women constitute the largest proportion of the lowest paying positions at each level or rank of academic position. In general, a higher representation of men than women existed in all the ranks surveyed - full 23 professor, associate professor, and assistant professor. Rushing (2002) reports that salary inequalities is still an issue of the twenty-first century, even though women have made important strides and progress in their chosen academic careers over the past several decades. Progress is not without struggle: “Women are more likely to leave academic employment before tenure, are less likely to receive tenure, and take longer to be promoted to full professor” (Rushing, 2002, p.582) Women in Music: Issues of Gender and Feminist Perspectives The social construction of gender has been influential in all aspects of musical culture (Cook & Tsou, 1994) and is a challenge of gender studies in music (Moisala, 1999). It is a strong belief among feminist researchers in music and music education that women’s position in music has been marginalized and, at times, absent from music history. Hinely (1984a) believes that the "problem" of the absence of women in music is historical and cultural, not of the musical ineptitude of women in the past. The historical, social, and cultural viewpoints of women in their traditional and primary roles of wife and mother restricted their professional opportunities. Bowers and Tick (1985) suggest that the "absence of women in the standard music histories is not due to their absence in the musical past; rather, the questions so far asked by historians have tended to exclude them“ (p.3). Citron (1994) describes the relationship between women and music as a lack of access in an othenivise patriarchal world. This is reflective of Citron’s 24 earlier work (1993) describing the existing musical canon and women’s lack of inclusion into this canon. By definition, a “canon” is a model, a standard of judgement, or a criterion that represents “what is worthy of inclusion” (Citron, 1993, p. 15). The musical canon is what “defines music, divides it into categories, genres, historical periods, hierarchies, always in relation to Great Music” (Lamb, 1991,p.304) The inclusion of women, in particular women composers into this canon has always been secondary to the inclusion and focus on the music of men composers: "Historically...music has been organized almost exclusively around the contributions, achievements, and advancement of men" (O'Toole, 1993, p. 66). In relation and comparison of female to male composers, conductors, and performers, "the dominant discourse continues to represent these compositions as substandard to the canon produced by males by maintaining a context in which the two canons are continuously compared” (O'Toole, 1993, p. 67). As Lamb (1991) suggests, questioning the structure and the essence of this existing musical canon means questioning the structure of music. However, if feminist inquiry in music is concerned with “re-thinking and re-envisioning the musical culture of women” (Lamb, 1991, p. 304), and if the properties of the musical canon serve to establish norms for the future (Citron, 1993), then women’s musical contributions must be re-evaluated and the process of “dismantling” the existing musical canon can begin. Green (1997) suggests the following: It is only by allowing individual women’s work to enter into our courses that canonic presuppositions can begin to be revealed as having been biased 25 towards men; it is only by re-evaluating women’s contributions within the paradigms of an alternative canon that women’s work can be adequately represented; and at the same time both these practices must involve dismantling the appearance that musical greatness is an historical natural phenomenon, an appearance which has been an intrinsic part of the very notion of canon. (p. 238) Implicit in these discussions concerning the exclusivity of the musical canon is the feminist perspective on music as a gendered and patriarchal concept. As “woman” is labeled “Other’ in a dominant, patriarchal Western society, so “music” is labeled “Other" and is therefore gendered female (Gould, 1994; Green, 1997; Solie, 1993). The evidence that music is gendered through the preparation of musicians, the production of music and the reception of musical works, as well as musical performers/performances, has been and continues to be thoroughly documented. (Lamb, 1994, p. 60) Feminist critique in music begins to explore the full range of possibilities for the meaning of music while the absence of considering feminist critique and feminist theories in music “risks theoretical naiveté” (Lamb, 1994, p. 70). Music is an interesting setting for the negotiation and performance of gender: Music is a specific part of expressive culture. Music marks time, place, and space differently than other spheres of culture. Therefore, music provides a unique site for the performance and negotiation of gender. It allows, or may even require, different gender roles than do other aspects 26 of culture. Music is also a space where we can allow the possibility that gender be seen in new ways. (Moisala, 1999, p. 3) Musicology Feminist critique and feminist theory in the 19703 did not actively include the field of musicology. McClary (1991) proposes that this is largely due to the “obstacle” that the discipline of music is still primarily a male-dominated discipline. Gender studies in musicology have primarily centered on so-called masculine and feminine characteristics of music (McClary, 1991; Treitler, 1993), the identification of women’s compositions (Solie, 1993), and the lack of women’s compositions in music history textbooks and courses (Bowers & Tick, 1985; Green, 1997; O’Toole, 1993). Researchers stress the importance of gender identity in music and in acknowledging gender differences: Cultural artifacts and practices, works of art, are perhaps the most valuable belongings of a civilization, treasures to possess, share, and preserve. It matters to whom they belong and who is empowered to speak about them. It matters about whom they speak, and what they say. (Solie, 1993,p.20) Green (1997) recommends that identifying women’s compositions in music texts should be done in the minority status in which they are truly represented: The perpetuation of gendered musical practices is not something that we can avoid or something that we should play down, but rather something that we can come to recognize [sic] and understand as an influential 27 aspect of our music history and of ourselves as musicians, listeners, teachers and learners. (p. 233) Music history texts do show evidence of women’s involvement in music and document the composing practices of some women, mainly nuns in religious convents in the Middle Ages. However, women's compositions were not truly recognized as such until the mid-sixteenth century (Bowers & Tick, 1985). Generally, women have been prevented from participating fully in musical production, and it is only within the past two decades that women composers (that is, in relatively significant numbers) have received formal training in composition (McClary, 1991). As women’s compositions have been absent from music history texts and music courses in general, listeners have naturally associated the majority of written and heard music with male composers. The listener does not merely hear “masculinity” in the music; rather, the listener assumes that musical masculinity: “We have due historical cause to assume without question that the composer behind almost all of the music we ever hear... is a man...music delineates not only a masculine mind, but also the notion of a male composer” (Green, 1997, p. 89). When the inclusion of women composers in music history texts and courses does exist, this inclusion is always in comparison with male composers as if trying to match the pre-established standards. O’Toole (1993) suggests that, in this way, women’s compositions are represented and classified as “substandard to the canon produced by males” (p. 67). 28 Music Education Feminist scholars in music education are still drawn into arguments to demonstrate gender as a characteristic or quality within music, even as our research and that of our colleagues in historical musicology, ethnomusicology, and music theory has moved far beyond that basic point; even as every other discipline has accepted, at least in some corner, that gender matters. (Lamb, 1994, p. 60) Gender issues in music education are a relatively recent phenomenon (Green, 1997). Gender/sex research in music education has been identified and summarized by Trollinger (1993) in a document that analyzes the content of four professional journals in music: Journal of Research in Music Education, Bulletin of the Council of Research in Music Education, Psychology of Music, and Psychomusicology. Trollinger examined all of the journals spanning a twenty-five year period (1968-1992) and found gender/sex research studies that focused on musical behaviors and the possible differences that exist between young male students and young female students in exhibiting or performing those behaviors. Studies in gender/sex differences in personality, preference, gender associations of music and musical activities, student attitude, achievement, motivation, and anxiety were also reviewed. O'Toole (1994) identified five areas of inquiry pertaining to feminist ' research in music education: promoting the use of women-centered/authored materials; identifying and documenting the experiences of women in music; stereotypical gender associations of instruments; affect of gender on attitude and 29 achievement; and, the representation of women in curriculum materials. The focus of these feminist studies has been on equal opportunities, socialization, sex roles, and sex discrimination. O'Toole acknowledged the important contribution to music education that these studies have made, but "most of [the research] fails to address the question of why women (and minorities and men) are willing to take up positions in music that are subordinated, marginalized, and silenced" (O'Toole, 1994, p. 31). In music education, feminist researchers have analyzed methods textbooks and music education journals, as well as past and current trends in philosophical beliefs for their inclusion and acknowledgment of gender, social class, and ethnic race (Koza, 1990, 1993a, 1994a; 1994b, McWiIIiams, 2003). Cross-cultural studies in musicology and music education have shown that gendered roles in music are adopted during the early stages of life (Moisala, 1999). Koza (1993a) and McWiIIiams (2003) analyzed music education journals for their focus on gendered portrayals of males and females. Specifically, questions addressed whose knowledge, interests, and problems are deemed worthy of attention, and identified the silences and gaps in those people or subjects that are not acknowledged. I Koza (1994), in an analysis of 32 choral music texts and sources (all published between the years 1982-1992), determined that the main “problems” with these texts were that they presented “finished” teaching models that left no room for alternative worlds or opinions. These particular sources completely overlooked issues of race, gender, and social class in an attempt to appear 30 neutral on these issues; they presented choral conductors, teachers and students as “raceless,” “genderless,” and “classless”; and any mention of gender issues in these contexts was largely associated with males. The importance of including female composers in recommended repertoire lists was not stressed: “Almost without exception, the texts canonized Western, Euro-American music, relying heavily on compositions by dead, White, Euro-American males” (Koza, 1994b, p. 71). Historically, women have been considered the enablers in passing on music to succeeding generations (Green, 1997). In music education philosophy, there is little account for difference within gender systems. Lamb (1994) insists a need for change: Re-thinking of difference in relation to music is required. Therefore, part of what I mean is accounting for difference as if differences matter and play some central role in the meaning of music; specifically, that race, class and gender (and diverse variations thereof) permeate music, have an effect on music and are affected by music. (p. 63) Gould (2004) concurs with Lamb’s (1994) contention for changes in the thinking and perspectives in music education. Re-working a statement from Lamb (1994)2, Gould (2004) proposes a postmodern objective for music education: Its goal is to reveal new possibilities in which ‘women [non-white, homosexual, or poor people] would know music [and music education] as if [they] mattered, while [white] men, [heterosexual, and wealthy people] 2 Lamb’s (1994) original statement reads: ‘We who are women would know music as if women mattered, while men would know music as if they were women.” (p. 70). Lamb, in turn, paraphrases Gloria Steinem (1994): ‘We have for so long looked at most subjects through male 31 would know music [and music education] as if they were women, [non- white, gay, or economically disadvantaged].’ (p. 77)3 Performance: Vocal and Instrumental Green (1997) suggests that the gendering of music is found in the performance “display" of women musicians, particularly women vocalists. Green believes that when a female vocalist performs, the audience makes an immediate and direct connection between the woman’s voice and her biological sex or gender. That is, among the many delineations that arise from a musical production and reception, a specifically gendered delineation arises from a musical performance sung by a woman. This gendered delineation is a display of the female performers femininity (Green, 1997). Femininity is understood in this sense through a patriarchal definition: “embodied and alluring, in control of yet subject to the vicissitudes of the body, integral with nature, available and desirable yet preoccupied and maternal” (Green, 1997, p. 34). In ancient civilizations, there appears to have been no limitation on women’s participation in singing (Green, 1997). The early church evidently involved women in music in the worship services, but this practice stopped after the establishment of formal singing schools intended for the training of male voices only (Bowers & Tick, 1985). Throughout the centuries of Western music history, women's role in music was primarily that of a singer or a household eyes that remedial vision (which for women, would mean looking at the world as if women mattered, and for men, as if they were women) brings a new perspective.” (p. 14) 3 Brackets [] in original; 32 musician. The nineteenth century establishment of public conservatories enabled women to gain advanced instruction in music; however, their primary acceptance into the professional field of music was through music teaching. Before the middle of the nineteenth century, music teaching was not “suitable” for women, so only men were professional music teachers (Koza, 1990). Singing was the most common and accepted form of performance for women at this time (Bowers & Tick, 1985). Green (1997) considers women’s involvement in the musical salons of the nineteenth century as an act of reproducing femininity whereby women are engaging in performance that is “appropriately feminine” and “the problem of sexual display in a performance that anyway takes place in only domestic and educational settings need trouble no one” (p. 49). O'Toole (1993, 1994) studied the common practice of choral singing from a feminist perspective for its inherent power relations within the choral classroom. In describing her negative experiences as a choral singer, O’Toole determined that the traditionally designed conventions of choral pedagogy create docile and complacent singers, particularly in women. These singers are subjected to a discourse that O’Toole describes as being more interested in the production of music than in the singers themselves (O'Toole, 1993). O'Toole (1994) used feminist critique methodologies for examination of the traditional choral rehearsal in terms of its inherent power relations. With recognition for the traditional marginalization of women in the music profession, it is only through feminist perspectives that women are asked different kinds of questions, enabling them to develop different kinds of power relationships. O'Toole believes that choral music 33 education and choral pedagogy is embedded in a discourse that is privy to a primarily male culture. O’Toole (1993) opposes the use of a choral rehearsal to create music based on a patriarchal and hegemonic pedagogy; that is, music that is "not crafted from within the choir's colleCtive knowledge and experiences" (p. 70). Overall, O’Toole questions the conventions of choral pedagogy in terms of interactions between each singer and the choral conductor. Conway (2000) reports that stereotypes concerning gender and musical instrumental choice remain the same from two decades ago. Interviewing high school instrumental students, Conway (2000) confirmed that adolescents recognized the gender stereotype in their choice of instrument and those that broke with “tradition” did so in an effort to be “different.” Green (1997) in a study on gender and music education found that the musical practices of girls, as they are understood and perceived by both teachers and students, involves mainly singing, playing orchestral instruments, playing plucked string instruments, and playing piano, all in the Classical music tradition. Green suggests that these activities “symbolically affirm their femininity,” (Green, 1997, p. 167) whereby the female singer is seen to affirm femininity, the female instrumentalist may interrupt the display of femininity, and the female composer or improviser threatens the display of femininity. Display in performance is a contributing factor to musical meaning. For male performers, musical display contradicts their discursive position as masculine; for female performers, musical display affirms their discursive position as feminine (Green, 1997). As mentioned previously, Green suggests that women’s singing is a reproduction and affirmation of femininity in musical display. On the other hand, women playing instruments is an interruption of the feminine/musical display: “The instrument which she wields or controls interrupts the centrality of the appearance of her in-tuneness with her body" (Green, 1997, p. 53). This perception is somewhat dependent upon the type of instrument played, the style of music, and the type of display (orchestral or solo). Historically, Green also proposes that the description of women is not merely as instrumentalists; rather, the description and label is that of women instrumentalists. This has prompted women: To rise above these delineations, to disprove them, to present an alternative to them, to achieve the highest level of what was agreed to be excellence...to be judged on the same platform as their male counterparts: to be judged as ‘musicians’ rather than 'women musicians.’ (Green, 1997, p. 61) Perfonnance: Conducting Several studies that examine gender issues in the experiences of women band and orchestra conductors have been carried out in the past few years. Hinely (1984a) notes the additional level of accomplishment that women conductors have surpassed in that, “performing and teaching careers presented women with perplexing problems and slow progress toward recognition, but conducting was an even less obtainable career goal" (p. 42). She has suggested 35 that women conductors may experience more problems in personnel management as they have needed a certain kind of assertiveness and commanding personality along with extremely high levels of musicianship to gain the respect and attention of the ensemble members (Hinely, 1984b). That is, women needed to prove themselves worthy of this traditionally male role in music performance and music education. Hinely notes that conductor Margaret Hillis was advised in her formal training to enter the field of choral conducting as a "back door to orchestral conducting," her ultimate goal in the professional field of conducting (Hinely, 1984b; Jagow, 1998). Lawson (1984) notes similar historical experiences in her study and description of women orchestral conductors. Women orchestral conductors of an earlier generation received their recognition later in life and left legacies for other women conductors to follow: “Contemporary musicians have received a legacy...a lifetime of constant and timeless battle against discrimination” (Groh, 1991, p. 23). In a series of biographies of women composers, conductors and musicians of the twentieth century, LePage (1980) noted the common practice of constant description of women conductors with reference to their gender, not necessarily their music making. With regard to American conductor Antonia Brico, critics commented that Brico’s excellence in conducting allowed for the distinction of herself as an artist, not necessarily as a woman (LePage, 1980). This distinction granted Brico the respect from the orchestra that she conducted. Jagow (1998) proposes that the continued perception that orchestral conducting is a male-dominated profession is largely due to the opinions formed by men and 36 women concerning the stereotyped physical and mental qualities of women. Jagow (1998) provides an historical account of orchestras from the late 19th century formed and organized exclusively by women — both in terms of orchestral players and in terms of conductors. The earliest of these orchestras was the Vienna Ladies Orchestra founded in 1867. Sexism created (and still creates) the most barriers for many women performers and conductors, and discrimination is on the part of members from both genders: “Women today are held back more by their own attitudes than by societal restriction if they surrender their talent to sexism and inequality” (Jagow, 1998, p. 140). Feather (1980), in one of the first documented studies on gender issues and women band directors, surveyed and interviewed men and women college band directors in an effort to identify problems that were unique to women band directors, and to document how they coped with these problems. Feather discovered that women band directors typically conducted smaller bands than those directed by men, fewer of the women directors were the directors of marching bands and jazz or stage bands, and women band directors were consistently paid less in salary than men band directors in both public and private institutions. Jackson (1996) conducted a study and description of women college band directors that examined the nature of the relationship between the imbalance of numbers of men and women college band conductors. The purpose of her study was to "identify women college band directors' interpretations of their experiences as band conductors" (Jackson, 1996, p.53). Jackson identified 37 diversity, competency, and awareness of gender issues as key aspects in avoiding gender bias. She suggested that the process of identifying band directors' perceptions and beliefs may promote further encouragement and motivation for more women to pursue college band positions. Gould's (1996) study and description of women college band directors focused on women's initial involvement and continuity of that involvement as a result of the presence of gender-specific occupational role models. The purpose of her study was “to describe the salience of visible gender-specific occupational role models in the initial involvements and continuity of women college band directors” (Gould, 1996, p. 30). Gould obtained information from a survey completed and returned by thirty-eight women involved in or interested in careers as college band directors in the United States and Canada, from individual telephone interviews with thirteen of those thirty-eight women, and from a small group interview with four of the identified women. Gould determined that, while the presence of role models was important in the career development of women band directors, these role models were not necessarily gender-specific. In this study, women band directors sought male or female role models through the graduate faculty. Approximately half of the women in this study were considered a part of the first generation of women band directors; therefore, they have not been aware of other women band directors to whom they could look as role models. These findings echo the conclusions of Feather (1980) who determined that women college band directors are not aware of other women in their field, and therefore, are not able to form peer or mentor relationships with each other. 38 VanWeeldon's (2003) demographic profile of choral music programs and conductors in American post-secondary institutions illustrates the wide gender gap that exists in choral conducting. Men conducted 1,759 choral ensembles, and women conducted 538 choral ensembles. Men comprised 83% of the Director of Choral Activities positions, while women comprised only 17% of these positions. Where men and women were both present in an institution, over half of the women conducted women-only ensembles. Hetzel and Norton’s (1993/1994) research on the status of women choral conductors at the collegiate level defined challenges for women choral conductors in academe and for all associated with the collegiate environment. They stress the need to recognize that a gender imbalance exists in faculties and administrations. For women, challenges also exist in the areas of advancement in the academic world, in making institutions more hospitable for qualified academics, and in refining choral artistry as an example and mentor for the next generation. Justification for and Implications of this Study As previously noted, O’Toole (1994) identifies five areas of study pertaining to feminist research in music education. These five areas have included critical examination of music education textbooks from a feminist perspective, stereotyping of musical instruments, the affective qualities of gender on attitude and achievement, the representation of‘women in music education curriculum materials, and identifying and documenting the experiences of women 39 in music. Of these five research areas, perhaps the most important to this study is identifying and documenting the experiences of women in music. Robertson (1987) believes that clear data and information on the impact of musical performance on gender issues and power issues is lacking. For these reasons, and because the lives and experiences of women and gender issues, particularly in music are still a recent phenomena that is considered “legitimate knowledge” (Koza, 1993b), a study on the experiences of women choral conductors in relation to gender issues is warranted. The literature review has shown that this area of gender research in music, that is, specific to the experiences of women choral conductors, is yet to be developed. The implications for this particular study may have a direct impact on attitudes towards women choral conductors as well as music education practices. Documenting and examining the experiences of women choral conductors may lead to a further examination of the field of choral conducting from a broader perspective. What are the stories of choral conductors who are men? How have the formative experiences of their lives positioned and influenced their careers because of their gender? Major differences in the narration of women and men have significantly appeared elsewhere, particularly with respect to self-image (Passerini, 1989). How do these differences play out in the actuality of professional lives and careers of choral conductors? What are the impacts on current music education philosophy, curriculum, and instruction? What are the current teaching practices of women and men who wish to formally study the art of choral conducting? These questions do not necessarily warrant definitive 40 answers; rather, they promote further dialogue in the professional practice of choral conducting. This is a direct challenge to the music education profession to address the inherent nature of gender in all facets of music education and to offer the possibilities for change grounded in our everyday lives (Gould, 2004). The musical performance experiences of women choral conductors may have a direct impact on issues of gender and power, as Robertson (1997) suggests; however, the implications for the present study suggest that the reverse of this statement may hold considerable truth. That is, issues of gender (with a possible extension to related issues of power) may have a significant impact on the musical performance experiences of women choral conductors. Most importantly, the findings in this study and future proposed studies presume the possibility for a positive influence in the furthering educational practices of women and men as contemporary choral conductors and music educators. Purpose and Problems Gender is an issue that continues to prevail throughout many women's professional and personal lives. The review of literature has shown that most research on gender issues and women in music has focused on musicology, music education, and the lives of women composers. Personal experiences and the experiences of others have made apparent the significant role that gender plays in our everyday and professional lives. Some research has been completed on women orchestral conductors and women band conductors, but an insufficient amount of research has focused specifically on gender issues as they pertain to 41 the experiences of women choral conductors. This is the definitive focus of this study. Documenting and describing the experiences of professional women choral conductors provides necessary research to fill the gap in the current literature in the field of choral music education and gender. Providing insight into the life experiences of women choral conductors paves the way for the investigation of future research questions. The current investigation hopes to serve the continuing development and shaping of the choral culture through the education and inspiration of aspiring, young choral conductors. As more research data is gathered, the context for understanding the nature of gender and its impact on music education practices develops a clearer focus and, in turn, may serve to transform some areas of choral music education. The purpose of this research is to develop an understanding of and to document the personal experiences of exceptional women choral conductors. In particular, the focus of this documentation is on the gender issues that influence the experiences of exceptional women choral conductors. A review of the literature has suggested documentation of these personal experiences, with a focus on gender issues, does not exist in the field of choral conducting. The specific problems that serve to guide this research investigation are as follows: 1) To describe and explain the influence of past teaching, learning, and performing experiences on the current teaching practices of exceptional women choral conductors. 2) To describe and explain problematic and successful teaching, Ieaming, and performing experiences that exceptional women choral conductors 42 attribute to their gender. 3) To describe and explain the individual perceptions of self-image that exceptional women choral conductors attribute to their gender. This study does not separate the concepts of teaching practices and performance practices. Rooted in a praxial philosophical viewpoint of music education (Elliott, 1995), l posit that the practice of music education and the practice of music performance, particularly in the form of choral conducting, are not separate entities. Rather, they are interacting phenomena and educational means to a goal centered on music performance as music education. 43 Chapter 3 - Methodology “The recovery and interpretation of women’s lives have been central concerns of feminist scholarship from the earliest pioneering works to the present. Listening to women’s voices, studying women’s writings, and learning from women’s experiences have been crucial to the feminist reconstruction of our understanding of the world” (Personal Narratives Group, 1989, p.4). The purpose of this study is to develop an understanding of and to document the personal and formative experiences of exemplary women choral conductors, with a particular focus on issues of gender as they may influence these experiences. Issues of gender are implicit and explicit in the experiences of women choral conductors in the stories that they tell and in the manner in which they tell them. In telling their stories, women choral conductors are representing their own life experiences. Issues of gender that are explicit are explored within the storyteller and the content of the story. lnferences and implications of gender issues may also be found within the context of personal stories. Stories of a biographic nature and personal histories influence how individuals interpret the world and, in turn, determine the content of their education (Bullough, 1998). Narrative analysis naturally serves as the methodological tool to explore these stories, given that representing experience is the definitive task in narrative analysis (Reissman, 2003). Research Design Following a narrative research methodological practice, this study seeks to examine and document personal life experiences of women choral conductors. 44 Haug (1987), in a study focused on the process of how women (as individuals) become part of society, suggests that experience is seen as a "lived practice in the memory of a self-constructed identity" (p. 42). While some experience may contain resistance and opposition to cultural activities, it is generally structured by the norms, values, and expectations of a given culture. To study one's experiences is to investigate the procesSes through which one’s personality is developed and formed. Gender issues are important in documenting experiences, since gender is an influencing factor in shaping institutions, ideologies, identities, and interactions among individuals in a given social or cultural context: “We assume, then, that although all women’s experiences are gendered, no two women’s experiences are identical” (Reinharz & Chase, 2003, p. 73). In seeking answers for the research questions based on the personal and professional experiences of women choral conductors, the specific processes and structures of the given cultural context are important to identify and consider. Jarviluoma, Moisala and Vilkko (2003) propose that gender studies may - be categorized or defined through different methodological understandings, depending upon the specific focus of the research. That is, gender studies may include a definitive social variable (what men do in comparison with what women do), a definitive system (gender order or gender hierarchy), a social construction (how‘genders are socially and culturally constructed), and a political tool (how gender ideologies may be reconstructed and changed). Gender studies examine how the surrounding world is gendered and the affects of this gendering on human identity, human activity, and human behaviour. The methodology 45 employed throughout the present study focuses on both the social variable and ‘ the social construction of gender studies and gender issues. The analysis of these issues is the primary focus: In research work, gender should be understood as a concept requiring analysis, rather than as something that is already known about. The common-sense understanding of gender should be seriously interrogated. What is our common understanding of gender? How is it represented in cultural action and products? Which kind of power structures does it produce? And what are the mechanisms by which we construct our understanding of gender? (Jan/iluoma et al., 2003, p. 2) Telling the stories of women is a biographical act that involves many complexities. Life stories are not simple, either in their experiences themselves or in the re-telling of those experiences. Life stories involve gender, social, spiritual and cultural contexts that serve to complicate one’s understanding of the story. Inviting the reader into this type of complexity is one of the challenges that writers of life stories face: Few life events and their motivations are simple. Just as the human subject orchestrates actions to construct the appearance of a unified or consistent identity, so must that person’s biography present that self with integrity. In this regard, biography is the enactment of cultural, or social, performance (Wagner-Martin, 1998, p. 94). Lather (1995) suggests that the chronicling of women’s stories is a type of inquiry that creates a “laboratory" for telling the stories of others and exploring 46 textual possibilities: “My coresearcher and l are situated not so much as experts saying what things mean in terms of ‘data’, but rather as witnesses giving testimony to what is happening to these women” (p. 42). The study of narratives is a process of making sense of one’s experiences and consequently, constructing and communicating meaning through the telling of one’s life stories (Chase, 1995). This study incorporates a qualitative process of methodology, data analysis, and interpretation. Bresler and Stake (1992) outline the characteristics of qualitative research as holistic and descriptive (contextual), field oriented and non-interventionist, interpretive in emic and ethic issues, emergent in the development of theory, and validated through the process of triangulation. Whereas Behar (1996) acknowledges that “reigning paradigms have traditionally called for distance, objectivity, and abstraction” (p. 13) and Brannon ( 1996) believes that scientific methods are best employed to understand the topic of gender, this research employs qualitative methodologies of story telling that must necessarily negate an empirical methodology based on controlling and predicting the actions of humans (Haug, 1987). The interpretive process of this research is rooted in a feminist perspective, focusing on the gender issues that emerge from the personal stories and narratives of women choral conductors: The study of narrative offers another promise than that of traditional empiricism, which assumed that objective events have equally objective histories and attempted to discover the causes and the ultimate control of political and psychological outcomes. By contrast, narrative criticism 47 assumes that histories are continually reinvented in the service of contemporary psychological and political aims and attempts to widen the horizon of what can be recounted and imagined (Rosenwald & Ochberg, 1991, p. 4). Haug (1987) describes narrative research strategies as "memory-work" in presenting memory as history. Lather (1995) describes narrative strategies as employing a situated methodology that is “grounded in writing with and from rather than about, in a context that takes the crisis of representation into account” (p. 58). Narrative strategies may produce an emerging text consisting of participants’ personal narratives and the researcher's interpretation of these narratives. This type of text requires a multiple entry into the text and multiple readings of the text. While this may seem more rigorous and time-consuming than “traditional” methodologies, it is in keeping with the practices of feminist research. “Since feminist theory is grounded in women’s lives and aims to analyze the role and meaning of gender in those lives and in society, women’s personal narratives are essential primary documents for feminist research” (Personal Narratives Group, 1989, p. 4). As research questions and issues are useful toward the development of theories, the collected narratives, stories, and memories are presented to support the emergent theories. This study focuses on gender issues, as they are relevant for women choral conductors. The analysis of emergent themes and the conclusions drawn from this analysis are from the sole perspectives of female participants. Brannon (1996) believes that an adequate study of gender should include male and 48 female perspectives for comparison and contrast. Otherwise, conclusions are “unfounded” concerning gender-related behaviors. However, in following the research of Gergen (1992) and the belief of the Personal Narratives Group (1989) that all human experience is “gendered,” the present study submits that life stories, created from the gendered identity of each person, are always a matter of gender. To support this position, Gergen (1992) identifies and explains the differences between stories told by women and stories told by men, whereby women create stories with story forms that are much fuller and more multiple in perspective. They mingle career issues with other issues and weave a text that contains a variety of relationships. These are the stories to which this study limits its focus. In presenting stories told only by women, the desired outcome is a presented conception of human social reality that is not constructed from a (historically and traditionally) solely male point of view “as if men’s experiences were normative, as if being human meant being male” (Personal Narratives Group, 1989, p. 3). The experiences of women choral conductors are first and foremost, the experiences of women, not of humanity. Story Telling: Beyond Fiction Personal narratives and “story telling” have a long history and tradition in the research practices of anthropology (Behar, 1996). Believing that stories are “embedded in the foundations of society” (Gergen, 1992, p. 141), many researchers have used stories to tell the life experiences of others and of themselves. As Wiersma ( 1992) suggests, our own stories interpret our life 49 experiences, shape our lives, and “form the text by which we read our lives” (p. 195). Narrative strategies in research maintain an interest in the “how” of a story, as well as the “what” in a story (Jacobs, Munro & Adams, 1995; Rosenwald & Ochberg, 1992). Rosenwald & Ochberg (1992) explain: How individuals recount their histories - what they emphasize and omit, their stance as protagonists or victims, the relationship the story establishes between teller and audience - all shape what individuals can claim of their own Iives...[life stories] are the means by which identities may be fashioned (p. 1). Haug (1987) describes personal narratives in a similar manner as representation of our thoughts and interpretations of the world around us: For a story of the autobiographical kind represents the sum total of all the social judgments and prejudices, semi-scientific theories, everyday opinions and so on we carry around in our heads and which serve - usually implicitly - as models for our interpretation of the world today (p. 47). Chase (1995) emphasizes the importance of gathering stories (not reports) and eliciting the telling of life stories through the types of questions asked during in-depth interviews. Narrative research needs to create and maintain a focus whereby the embodiment of life stories within the sociological realm of narrator and culture is examined and taken seriously as part of the complete story (Chase, 1995). Reismann (2003) describes storytelling as an event and an activity: 50 Storytelling is a relational activity that encourages others to listen, to share, and to empathize. It is a collaborative practice and assumes that tellers and listeners/questioners interact in particular cultural milieus and historical contexts, which are essential to interpretation (p. 333). Several problems arise when using narrative strategies and storytelling as a research methodology for data collection, analysis and presentation: “What bothers critics is the insertion of personal stories into what we have been taught to think of as the analysis of impersonal social facts” (Behar, 1996, p. 12). First, the account of another person’s experience necessarily involves interpretation of ‘ the events that have taken place and the personal insights or feelings surrounding the events. This interpretation is inevitable, since narratives are merely representations of a life experience, and are “ambiguous” representations at best (Riessman, 1993). Second, the stories of women have historically and socially been described as “gossip.” “When men talk together, even though they discuss golf scores, the conversation is business. When women talk together, they are criticized and patronized, as are their narratives” (Wagner-Martin, 1994, p. 86). The present study is an attempt to represent and interpret the stories that are told by women choral conductors with as much accuracy and precision as is possible. As Lather (1995) acknowledges, the role of the interviewer in a narrative study is to be a witness “giving testimony to what is happening” (p. 42) and later, in the interpretation of the data, as a “translator bearing witness” (p. 49). Implicit in these ideas is the initial role of the interviewer as the one who must ask the 51 questions that will elicit a narrative response (a story) from the participant. The type of questions asked should be phrased in “everyday language,” not in sociological language: The idea of putting sociological questions on the table is naive — even when done in a collective, feminist spirit — because such questions produce answers that have little to do with how people live their lives. The problem lay not in the wording of her questions but in their orientation; they directed others to her research interest rather than to their own life experiences (Chase, 1993, p. 4). Furthermore, the interviewer must compose interview questions that ask participants to describe their thoughts, feelings and experiences in order to gather the detailed, thick data that is needed to examine the narratives that emerge. The interviewer must invite the participants to tell stories and encourage them to “take responsibility for the meaning of their talk. A successful interviewer manages to shift the weight of responsibility to the other in such a way that he or she willingly embraces it” (Chase, 1993, p. 3). It is a form of research that assumes a certain level of positionality and subjectivity. Prominent perspectives and viewpoints from both the narrator and the researcher give considerable weight to the research analysis (Reissman, 2003). Narrative Research Methodology There is no singular manner in which to do qualitative research; likewise, there is no singular prescribed method of doing narrative analysis. The term 52 “narrative analysis” suggests many interpretations. Indeed, doing narrative analysis is a method of data interpretation (Gee, Michaels, & O’Connor, 1992;Reissman, 1993; Rosenwald & Ochberg, 1992; Wolcott, 1994). Research has focused on narrative analysis as a form of analyzing any verbal or written data (discourse) for its linguistic qualities and forms, grammatical structure, syntax and phrasing (Gee et al., 1992; Manning & Cullum-Swan, 1994; Mishler, 1992; Reissman, 1993) and on narrative as a form of storytelling in presenting research data (Clandinin & Connelly, 2000; Denzin, 2001; Van Maanen, 1988; Wolcott, 1994). Clandinin and Connelly (2000) describe narrative research and inquiry as a way of understanding experience. They explain: It is a collaboration between researchers and participants, over time, in a place or series of places, and in social interaction with milieus. An inquirer enters this matrix in the midst and progresses in this same spirit, concluding the inquiry still in the midst of living and telling, reliving and retelling, the stories of the experiences that make up people’s lives, both . individual and social. Simply stated...narrative inquiry is stories lived and told. (p. 20) This study focused on the personal narratives expressed by exceptional women choral conductors through a process of interviews, preliminary and follow-up discussions (via telephone or electronic mail communication) with each participant. I also maintained an informal, personal journal throughout the research process to document personal insights as a means of self-disclosure 53 and to aid in making sense of the data as various themes and relevant issues emerged (Lather, 1995; O’Toole, 1994). The Consent Document A Consent Document stating the purpose and background of the study was sent to each of the selected participants. A copy of the Consent Document is found in Appendix C. The selected choral conductor’s willingness to participate was initially confirmed either through personal contact or through telephone conversation. The initial contact and the consent form emphasized that their participation was strictly voluntary and it described all of the precautions that the researcher would take to maintain confidentiality as well as respect for their personal opinions and expressions of their particular experiences. It is important to take consideration of the participant’s positions of vulnerability and necessity for confidentiality, security and trust in the process. In qualitative research, this is referred to as rapport, and is a means of maintaining the participant’s dignity throughout the interview process. Seidman (1998) explains: The participant’s dignity must always be a consideration. Participants volunteer to be interviewed but not to be maligned or incriminated by their own words. A function of the interviewing process and its products should be to reveal the participant’s sense of self and worth. (Seidman, 1998, p.105) Throughout the personal narratives of the analysis chapters, I use pseudonyms to further protect the privacy of the participants. 54 I obtained the participants' permission to record the interviews using an audio tape recorder (“GE Micro cassette Recorder 3-5371”). Using a tape recorder in the interview context ensures that the complete conversation is available for analysis. In turn, this increases reliability when working with the words of the interviewee (Seidman, 1998). Participants The selected participants are successful choral conductors who have achieved international recognition for their professional career in the field of choral conducting. Their ages are within a 45 to 60 age bracket. These women choral conductors are currently active in directing professional choral ensembles within the community or university setting as well as maintaining a free-lance schedule in an international context. Three women choral conductors currently residing in Canada were selected for participation in this study. The chosen participants were selected on the basis of their current and active involvement in directing a choir outside the established context of an elementary or secondary school setting. In the context of elementary and secondary school settings, there are too many other factors and variables that may influence the gendered experiences of women choral conductors. That is, a choral music teacher within a formal public school setting often fulfils the responsibilities of many contrasting roles - general music teacher, homeroom teacher, department coordinator or supervisor, administrator, and so on. Therefore, the gender issues that they perceive to have influenced their 55 experiences as women choral conductors may be attributed to other factors as well. With so many factors or variables at play, it would be difficult to convincingly assert the singular focus of this study, at the same time making the results both trustworthy and plausible. This study includes choral Conductors who are involved with children or adolescents at the elementary or secondary school level but within the context of a professional community setting, thereby eliminating the perception of multi-faceted roles and responsibilities. In the university or college setting, the role of choral conductor is more defined and individualized. It is likely that this type of educational setting will highlight specific experiences not necessarily affected by the conductor’s varied roles and responsibilities, as mentioned above. Associations and employment within formal institutions notwithstanding, it was important to this study that I focused specifically on the issues that women choral conductors face in the professional field of choral conducting. The issues of professional women choral conductors are paramount to answering the research questions, and their experiences as choral conductors will inform the research questions better than their experiences in an educational setting with a broader scope. The professional aspect and status of the choral conductors helps to affirm and enlighten the singular focus of my study. The small sample size chosen for this study is justified at several levels. First, a small sample size makes the data more manageable and deeply meaningful through the lengthy and detailed text analysis required to fulfill the goals of narrative research methodology. Second, a small sample size is necessary to accurately gather detailed data during in-depth interviews that 56' convincingly address the full scope of the issues at hand. Finally, the selection of the target population is such that, given the professionally and socially acceptable parameters and criteria of successful women choral conductors currently active in their profession at the professional community or university level, the total number of women in North America that meet this criteria is relatively few. It is acknowledged that each choral conductor chosen for this study is a Canadian citizen although, not necessarily by birth. Cultural differences are important to acknowledge; however, cultural differences may confuse the process and outcome of the data analysis that needs to keep gender issues as its focus. Where appropriate, I have acknowledged any prevalent cultural differences that exist in the data. I also know each of the participants personally. This serves to enhance the research process and the overall results, because the interview context promotes familiarity, comfort, and trust in the researcher. My knowledge as a listener in the process strengthens the attempt to strive for clarity and detail of each individual’s experiences. Further, my relationship with each of the participants is that of a professional colleague within the field of choral music education. In each case of a past professional relationship and/or professional encounter, I have recognizably been in a junior position. Therefore, I do not anticipate that I bring to this study any measure of coercion or undue influences on the participants with respect to the relating of their professional life experiences. In addition, I recognize that knowing these women gave me access to them for the interviews. 57 Generalizability is not relevant to the goals of this type of research, as it is particular and individual experiences that this research attempts to identify, document, and understand. Haug (1987) suggests that individual experiences occur within a collective of human lives, which presents an element of universality to each of the individual experiences: "If research limits itself to the general and ignores the particular, it will be impossible ever to discover the conditions of production of universal human phenomena“ (p. 44). Furthermore, “the general comes from particular lives” (Sacks, 1989, p. 88). In this manner, individual perceptions may lead to some universal and recurring themes among the experiences of each participant. The researcher has not attempted to use the results and analyses of interview data to make predictions, test theories or lay blame on any persons or situations, nor has any evaluation of professional competence of the women choral conductors taken place, or suggested. However, the recurring themes gleaned from the context of this research may lay the foundation for further research in a more universal, generalizable fashion on the topic of gender issues and the experiences of women choral conductors. The Interviews I interviewed the three professional women choral conductors using an open-ended, free-flowing, semi-structured interview format. This format encouraged in each participant the opportunity to provide as much information as she desired in the context of her own voice and her own memory. To provide fool for the interviews, questions were drawn from topic areas based primarily on the 58 three main research questions stated earlier in this study. Appendices A and B outline these research questions and interview topics. Each interview was approximately two hours in length, conducted in a setting of the participant’s choosing. Two of the interviews took place in the participants’ homes and the third in a neutral, public location. All three settings were comfortable and conducive to easy and relaxed conversation. I gave each participant full access to the interview topics ahead of time (see Appendix A), and each participant was encouraged to come to the interview context with some thought previously given to the topic of the study. In addition, I formulated guiding questions for use during the interview (see Appendix B). Each participant came to the interview with some advance preparation, albeit this advance preparation varied greatly among the participants. The original research design called for some supporting documentation in the form of written journal entries; however, neither the participant nor l emphasized this at the interview session. One of the participants had copious notes of stories and factual descriptions of life events to ensure she maintained the focus and integrity of our discussion. Another participant had clearly conducted her own research into the topic of the study and offered substantial anecdotal evidence in the interview context. It was apparent that each participant had made significant efforts to prepare her comments and select her stories for inclusion in the interview and discussion. Using a personal audiotape recorder (“GE Micro cassette Recorder 3- 5371”), I recorded each interview. I found that using a tape recorder during the 59 interview session was essential, although Seidman (1998) acknowledges the scientific debate on the use of tape recorders when conducting interviews. However, to accurately transform words into a text that can later be studied, I found the use of a tape recorder to be imperative. Seidman (1998) proposes that participant’s words are reflections of their thoughts and their consciousness, or their thoughts embodied in their words: “To substitute the researchers paraphrasing or summaries of what the participants say for their actual words is to substitute the researcher’s consciousness for that of the participants” (Seidman, 1998, p. 97). Paraphrasing and summarizing the participant’s words may indeed eventually occur during analysis, but not until obtaining an accurate account of the conversation through a complete process of transcribing the interview text. During the interview sessions with women choral conductors, I created descriptive and transcriptive notes on a personal laptop computer in an attempt to record as much of the conversation as possible in the moment and to ease the burden of transcription later in the process of data analysis. I ensured and maintained the participant’s confidentiality throughout the data collection, recording, and storing of information. Only myself and the participants reviewed and read the transcripts from the recorded interviews, and l was the only one who heard the tapes from recorded interviews. I assigned pseudonyms to each participant to further ensure confidentiality in the written document, and kept all records of data off campus in my personal files. I made transcripts from each recorded interview in a manner that was as complete as possible. After transcribing the taped material, I sent completed 60 copies to the choral conductor to enable her to make corrections and additions, and to provide comments. The information gathered and represented from the interviews in this study takes the form of written descriptions and summaries as well as direct quotations from the interview transcripts and the researcher’s journal entries. Self-Disclosure: “We Are in the Parade We Presume to Study’1 Interviewer self-disclosure is part of a research methodology that attempts to encourage more responses, or more forthcoming responses from the participants. For example, topics that may be deeply personal, like those in this study, may make the process emotionally intense for both interviewer and participant. These conditions may easily lead to self-disclosure on behalf of the interviewer. Self-disclosure may put the participant more at ease, thereby enabling her to better tell her story. However, it is sometimes difficult to know how much and what type of disclosure to include in the course of the interview (Reinharz and Chase, 2003). Researchers who condone this research practice admit that little is known about the impact of this on the research itself: When does self-disclosure put the interviewee at ease or pressure her to adopt a particular point of view? When does self-disclosure indicate openness to the other’s experience or a sharing of power within the interview relationship, and when does it indicate that the researcher prefers to speak rather than listen? (Reinharz and Chase, p. 80) Self-disclosure is often praised for its admirable attempts in “humanizing 61 and equalizing the research relationship” (Reinharz and Chase, p. 79) and may serve the advantageous purpose of merely putting the participant at ease, and, in that way, encouraging or helping the participant to tell her story. In some cases, a public voice is given to women where previously there was none. However, the practice of interviewer self-disclosure may also indicate the opposite of its intentions — that is, that the researcher is not interested in listening for another person’s experiences or points of views. Because of this, self-disclosure was a minimal part of this interview and research process. Researchers, when practicing self-disclosure, are reminded and encouraged not to assume that their experiences are similar to that of the participants (Reinharz and Chase, 2003). Self-disclosure and researcher participation is also indicative of the nature of narrative research, which is sometimes described as three-dimensional involving personal and social interactions, considerations of time, and context. Narrative research becomes an inquiry in the midst of living and telling a story that includes their stories and “our" stories (Clandinin '& Connelly, 2000). “In narrative inquiry, it is impossible (or if not impossible, then deliberately self-deceptive) as researcher to stay silent or to present a kind of perfect, idealized, inquiring, moralizing self” (Clandinin & Connelly, 2000, p. 62). f In each case, during the interview, I interjected comments as a participant concerning my own experiences as a choral conductor (Gould, 1996). Self- disclosure and researcher participation is a common practice in the social sciences. My initial reason for including my voice was as a means of humanizing and equalizing the research relationship, not as an influencing factor (Reinharz ‘ (Clandinin and Connelly, 2000, p. 81) 62 and Chase, 2003). My participation in the interview context was also an attempt to enhance the relaxed atmosphere of this type of interview structure and to put the interviewee at ease, thereby helping the participant to better tell her story (Reinharz and Chase, 2003). In the latter, the inclusion of my voice was successful at a limited level. My comments became part of the interview process and were recorded throughout the interview transcript; however, my personal comments will not be presented for analysis in the chapters that tell the stories of the three participants. In analyzing the transcripts, I determined that self- disclosure in the interview context was not always desirable and effective. At times, my comments were helpful; and at other times, I realized that my comments were not necessary to elicit further comments from the participant and, in fact, carried the risk of hindering the interviewee’s freedom of telling her story. However, believing that my own experiences naturally enhance my position as researcher and analysis of the data, I have chosen to include my voice in a separate chapter of the study. Using the same interview guide and with the assistance of a colleague who is an active researcher in the social sciences, I recorded my own stories, transcribed them from the audiotapes, and offered them to this study for analysis. Feminist scholarship acknowledges the difficulty in obtaining an objective stance throughout the research process (Personal Narratives Group, 1989). Therefore, this study formally takes and acknowledges the researcher’s perspective (my own perspective) into account. As described above, spontaneous exchange in an open-ended interview format is sometimes an extraordinary event or experience for women. The effects 63 of spontaneous exchange are less extraordinary when interviewing women in power, or powerful women. In addition, these women bring a much different set of issues to the interview context: Powerful women are much more likely than less powerful women to be accustomed to speaking and being heard, and so they may not find the interview experience psychologically empowering or therapeutic...ln fact, they may have difficulty finding time to schedule an interview. Women with power may have less discretionary time than their male counterparts because such women usually have the additional responsibilities of ‘representing women’ in various venues and managing (if not doing) domestic and nurturing work at home. (Reinharz and Chase, p. 78) The choral conductors identified as the ideal participants for this study are considered powerful women for many reasons. By virtue of their professional status and the nature of their craft, they assume positions of power and carry with them the responsibilities that accompany these powerful positions. Choral conductors are also comfortable with addressing large numbers of people in a public context and in the context of teaching and rehearsing. It was clear in the context of this study that the powerful women chosen for participation did not need the interview context to give them a public voice. In fact, for some of the participants, it was difficult to find the time to Schedule the interview at all, not for domestic reasons, but for reasons of a demanding and hectic schedule that is determined by and reflective of their professional careers. 64 Data Analysis Overcoming the Challenges in Narrative Analysis Denzin (1994) reminds qualitative researchers of the importance of interpretation in that, “In the social sciences, there is only interpretation. Nothing speaks for itself" (p. 20). Telling the stories or narratives of others can be one of the most challenging and daunting tasks of a qualitative researcher: “Interpreting experience...involves representing reality; we create and recreate voices over and over again during the research process. Nowhere is this more evident than in studies of personal narratives” (Riessman, 1993, p. 16). Reissman (1993) begins narrative analysis first with the structure of the narrative itself in examining the organization of the narrative, or the development of the story. The narrative is embedded in a cultural and social context developed, in part, from its structure. Reissman maintains that narrative research and narrative analysis are not an ethnographic account, as ethnography is a description of reality that may be nonverbal. Narrative analysis is a verbal form of discourse that focuses on how the interpretation of the data takes place; specifically, how talk is transformed into written text and what aspects of the narrative constitute the basis for interpretation. Data analysis in this sense is an interpretation of anotherperson’s story (or interpretation) and the analysis aims for a level of believability (as opposed to absolute truth), and for an increase in our understanding of the subject matter. 65 Narrative Analysis - Five Levels of Representation Representing experiences is the definitive task in narrative analysis. Personal narratives and narrative analysis have become a research interest for many disciplines and professions, including anthropology, psychology, sociology, law, medicine, nursing, occupational therapy, and social work (Reissman, 2003). Reissman (1993) suggests that there are five levels of representation found in the process of narrative analysis. These five levels are: (1) attending to a particular experience, or making a selection from the totality of experience to interpret and make meaningful; (2) telling about the experience, or using language as the prevailing medium to describe the images, sounds, and movements of the total experience; (3) transcribing the experiencing, or interpreting the data based on a process of creating meaning from the practices of transcription; (4) analyzing the experience; and, (5) reading the experience. It is through these five levels that the data from this study developed and emerged into meaningful and articulate findings or conclusions. Level One: Attending to a Particular Experience. Each participant had the responsibility of choosing the particular stories that they wanted to share with me in the context of our interview time together. General questions were made available to the participants; my hope was that each question would elicit a narrative response. For example, rather than simply asking, “What were some of your early musical experiences as a young child?” (undoubtedly urging the participant to respond with a general listing of events), I asked the participant to 66 “Tell me about some of your early musical experiences as a young child”, thereby framing the response in a story form (see Appendix B). In some cases, more than one story was told in this portion of the interview, but it is clear that each participant had many more stories to tell, and the chosen narratives were of particular interest. Level Two: Telling About the Experience. The stories that emerged from the interview process included many forms of description in their re-telling and enactment. Participants used language as the prevailing medium, but also interpreted their stories through the use of gesture and movement, articulation and inflection in their voices, facial expressions and descriptive body language, and, in some cases, musical sounds as well. Interview transcripts do not necessarily capture all of the nuances that appear visually in an interview process, but the method of transcribing was conducive to the analysis of how something was said in addition to what was said (Poland, 2003). The methodology employed for transcribing the interview tapes is detailed inthe next section of this chapter. Each interview was fieldwork in a dynamic context that created dynamic, spirited conversation as well (Koskoff, 2000). The participants’ telling about the experiences resulted in my asking more questions, their providing insights, and in both of us generally informing and enlivening the study at hand (Koskoff, 2000). Narrative researchers have found that there are two ways of telling stories, each method employing a different type of analytical lens (Diamond, 2000). The 67 first is through a lens of essentialism, and it results in looking for patterns or groupings that construct a shared concept of attitudes and values. For gender, this lens is important to reveal the dichotomy between socially asserted differences of males and females in a musical world. The second way of telling stories is through a lens of constructionalism that tends to focus on flux, change and disjuncture: “These moments in the musical life stories reveal the contingencies of gender identity and the strategies by which we negotiate with the world and assert individuality" (Diamond, 2000, p. 105). Both lenses are needed “to understand the ways in which concepts of gender operate in relation to the musical worlds we create and perform and to which we respond” (Diamond, 2000, p. 105). The interviews with women choral conductors demonstrate the use of both types of lenses. Level Three: Transcribing the Experience. In qualitative research methodologies, interview transcripts are “partial accounts of the encounter between researcher and researched, rather than simply a report on the researched” (Poland, 1995, p. 306). The experience of transcribing is incomplete, partial and selective in its attempt to interpret and bring meaning to the gathered data (Reissman, 1993). Poland (1995) refers to transcription quality in qualitative research as a rigorous activity: Issues of voice, representation, authenticity, audience, positionality and reflexivity, which suggest in turn that our concern with transcription must be not only how to do it well (technique) but also whether to do it at all 68 (purpose) in giving voice to those studied in as authentic manner as possible (p. 293). ‘ Transcriptions are a concern for qualitative researchers not only for the above reasons, but also because they do not capture the overall setting (emotional context and nonverbal communication) often associated with and meaningful in the context of a taped interview. Without an accurate and visual reflection of body posture, appearances, or the physical setting, “the full flavor of the interview as a lived experience is therefore unlikely to be represented in the transcript” (Poland, 1995, p. 292). Poland suggests that interviewers need to make fuller descriptions of the emotional context and the physical context to serve a more complete description of the “flavor” of the interview. In addition to this form of attention paid to physical matters is acknowledgment of and provision for various speech patterns and inflections found in the details and rigor of conversation analysis. Conversation analysis is concerned with the way in which something is said, or the manner in which people interact socially in an orderly fashion. Conversation analysis takes into account all inflections of speech or patterns of conversation such as pauses, overlaps, stretched out sounds, speech intonation, partial words, and sound expressions. In other words, how something is said is extremely important when considering the transcription and the analysis of the transcribed material (Poland, 2003). In each of the interview contexts, audiotapes of the conversation were recorded, and complete transcriptions were made verbatim from these audiotapes immediately following the interview session. The researcher made 69 typed notes during the interview with the use of a personal laptop computer. The notes served as a method of clarification and further means of triangulation of the data when certain words or phrases were difficult to understand on the audiotape. Poland’s (2003) methods and suggestions for transcribing interview data were adapted for the purposes of this study. Intonation was noted through various means of punctuation, emphasized words with capitalization, and held sounds with repeated vowels or consonants. Other, nonverbal and non-speech actions were noted with descriptions in parentheses (for example, laughter, sighing, and various lengths of pauses in the narrative). The following excerpt from one of the interview transcripts prOvides an example of capturing inflected, emphasized speech, and relayed conversation: I remember, people coming back, DASHING back stage in the early conducting days of my life and saying (mimicking voice), “Oh, my goodness, you’re the first R-r-really feminine conductor we’ve ever seen.” (Celia) The entire “transcription notation system” is included in Appendix D of this dissertation. Level Four: Analyzing the Experience. Diamond (2000) explains the differences in analysis between articulated gender issues and enacted gender issues. In other words, those issues that are explicitly named as “gendered” are considered articulated. Those issues that implied gender, but did not name it as such are considered enacted. This discourse is gendered in an unconscious manner. 70 Diamond (2000) asks: “What produces gender consciousness and what maintains gender blindness?” (Diamond, 2000, p. 107). Of course, the main question to ask is: “In what circumstances and by what means does gender...emerge as an important issue?” (Diamond, 2000, p. 107). This study presents gender issues that are both articulated and enacted. Analysis of the transcribed materials shows that some of the gender issues revealed were identified and articulated by the participants. Other gender issues that emerged from the analysis of the data were not named; rather, they were implied by the circumstances of the narrative. Level Five: Reading the Experience. As transcriptions invite and may necessitate “multiple alternate readings” or “reinterpretation” (Poland, 1995), and to reveal analysis that takes place while fieldwork is progressing, some researchers employ text formatting strategies that present the text at multiple levels (Lather, 1995; O’Toole, 1994). For example, Lather (1995) employs a “subtext" in the body of her research that serves as a continuous researcher commentary regarding the researchers’ experiences. Her commentary also provides background material for the study as explanation for her efforts to analyze and understand the research data and its larger context. This creates a split-text format. This “fragmentary nature” creates multiple ways of reading the text. Multiple ways of reading a text may, in turn, create multiple meanings for the data that is interpreted. O’Toole (1994) employed a multi-text format to: “expose a variety of voices and opinions, and to create a context from which the post- 71 fieldwork analysis emerges...to create a text that is believable rather than irrefutable” (p. 60). Aimed for an increased understanding of the subject matter, the written narrative (in the research report) may include the interviewer’s questions, comments and reactions to show how meaning is created through interaction (Reissman, 1993). In this study, my own stories are offered in the interpretation and presentation of the data as a means for understanding the larger context, as additional commentary that serves to document or provide insight into the development of emergent understandings and theories. Narrative researchers believe that narrative analysis invokes an atmosphere and emotion that may be “less authoritative than 'traditional' research texts” (O'Toole, 1994, p. 63). However, at the same time, these texts are multi-dimensional, as the reader is forced to confront an affective dimension in addition to a cognitive dimension of the reading experience. The criticism of this form of analysis is that, "story forms of inquiry question the reliability of knowledge because they are constructed from memories and mediated field notes rather than chronological events backed-up with calculated figures" (O'Toole, 1994, p. 62). Wolcott (1994) identifies three ways to enter into qualitative data processing: description (staying as close as possible to the original account); analysis (building upon the original account with analysis to identify key factors and relationships); and interpretation (going beyond the original data to attempt explanation, theory and speculation). The present study incorporates all three ways of data processing. Each interview is described with details and through the 72 presentation of transcribed interview text that keeps it as close as possible to the original account. As the stories unfold, the data is analyzed to identify key factors and relationships as well as emergent themes. Finally, an interpretation of the data is offered in an attempt to explain, theorize and speculate about the gender issues that influence the formative experiences of successful women choral conductors. Interpreting Women ’3 Lives The task of interpretation through personal narratives is a necessary pieCe of the interwoven fabric of analysis. Story, on its own, is a limiting genre (Reissman, 1993). It is important to include interpretation and to discuss the issues of interpretation around the telling of each story. Transcribed text should include a transcription of the features of speech (emphasis, pitch, repetition, pauses of breaks in speech, elongated vowels, and volume) and a portrayal of the text that joins it together with its context (historical, social, class, race, or gendeo. The issue of gender is further woven into interpretive task as it is expressed at various levels of narration. The responsibility of interpretation is to recognize the expression of gender in its varied forms within the context of narrative (Passerini, 1989). Gender analysis is always “positioned and contextual” (Moisala, 1999). Understanding that context is a complex web of meanings woven together in our social structures and identities, provides another layer of analysis for narrative structures: 73 Context is not a script. Rather, it is a dynamic process through which the individual simultaneously shapes and is shaped by her environment. Similarly, an analysis of context, which emphasizes these dynamic processes, is an interpretive strategy, which is both diachronic and synchronic. (Personal Narratives Group, 1989, p. 19) The narratives of women choral conductors chosen for this study are embedded in certain, specific contexts. Telling events and life stories also includes some interdependence with feelings and emotions for a particular situation. Human beings are emotional and intellectual beings with emotions and intellect intersecting at many different levels. Our emotions and affective states have the potential to alter our expression of life events and to influence our narratives. Passerini (1989) suggests the following: The dialectic between myths and experiences is fruitful and alternatively stirs up or is fed by the energy of emotions and affections. All this leads up to a recognition of the stratification of oral narration — all, but particularly the autobiographical one - which is not static and given once and for all, but moves and changes according to the strength of feelings as they are influenced and formed by ongoing processes (Passerini, 1989, p. 196). Passerini’s guiding principle in interpreting narrative data is that all autobiographical stories and memories are true. It is the task of interpretation to discover in which sense the story holds truth, where the truth lies, and the purpose for telling the narrative as truth. Implicit in the above is a relationShip between the narrator and the interpreter. This relationship emphasizes 74 collaboration in the efforts of telling and interpreting the stories through narrative analysis (Personal Narratives Group, 1989). A further dimension in narrative research that involves stories is realized in the reciprocal event that occurs during the telling of the story between the teller and their audience. Telling stories about our lives means that we perform our own identities, of which gender identity plays an important role (Reissman, 2003). Analysis of the collected data attempts to answer the research questions, focusing on the social variable and the social construction of gender studies and gender issues. Qualitative/narrative data analysis acknowledges and is guided by the principle that sought-after answers in research are better defined and understood as interpretations that arise from data analysis. The process of analysis is itself an act and process of interpretation, as analysis requires a systematic examination of material carefully selected for its compatibility with the chosen theoretical perspective and position (Jarviluoma et al, 2003). The methods of analysis are inseparable from the theory: Gender analysis - like any other reSearch - demands careful focusing and contextualization. In addition, the researcher has to position him/herself, and make an attempt to distance him/herself from his/her gender in order to see the limitations of the chosen perspective on gender (Jarviluoma et al, 2003, p. 19). Interpretation and analysis of storied data naturally assume sociological contexts found within the chosen theoretical positions: Storytelling is a relational activity that encourages others to listen, to 75 share, and to empathize. It is a collaborative practice and assumes that tellers and listeners/questioners interact in particular cultural milieus and historical contexts, which are essential to interpretation (Reissman, 2003, p. 333). Miles and Huberman (1994) echo Reismann’s words in their suggestion that the nature of analysis in qualitative research contexts focuses on deep attentiveness and empathetic understanding, something which the authors refer to as “Verstehen,” the German verb for understanding, although more inclusive of a larger, in-depth context than the English equivalent. 76 Chapter 4 - Her Story: Small Incidences Along the Way1 “I see no reason at all why the word ‘maestra’ shouldn’t soon become a familiar one” (Kosloff, 1983, p. 243). Emergent Themes Narrative research practices involve analyzing data for emergent themes. The following descriptive themes broadly and initially emerged from the stories told through the interviews conducted with women Choral conductors in the present study: Early Music Education Experiences Early Career Experiences olnfluence of Family olnfluence of Teachers/Mentors/Colleagues -Significant Life and Career Experiences (turning points) Observations/Descriptions of Self oPhilosophicaVTheoretical Observations and Musings (concerning the practice and profession of choral conducting) oPerceived Issues of Gender: Early Experiences; Current Experiences These themes were related to the research questions and served to fit as specific categories within the more general research topics of: current teaching and performing experiences; past teaching and performing experiences; and perceptions of self-image as a woman choral conductor. The list of themes is I This is an excerpted phrase from Susanne’s interview. All names are pseudonyms to protect the privacy of the participants. 77 presented again illustrating this conceptual framework that developed through the emergent data analysis: Past experiences Early Music Education Experiences -Early Career Experiences -lnfluence of Teachers/Mentors/Colleagues olntluence of Family Current experiences -Significant Life and Career Experiences (turning points) ~lnfluence of Family olnfluence of Teachers/Mentors/Colleagues Self-Image Observations/Descriptions of Self oPerceived Issues of Gender: Early Experiences; Current Experiences oPhiIosophicaI/Theoretical Observations and Musings (concerning the practice and profession of choral conducting) Further analytical use of thematic coding throughout each transcript identified sub-themes. In qualitative data analysis, codes are “tags or labels for assigning units of meaning to the descriptive or inferential information compiled 78 during a study" (Miles and Huberman, 1994, p. 56). During analysis, coding was applied to the data as a means of providing another, more definitive layer of analysis within each larger theme (Miles and Huberman, 1994). The sub-themes identified throughout this study are found in Figure 4-1. Each category/emergent theme and sub theme serves to structure the presentation of the narrative data collected during the course of each interview. Examples from the interview transcripts are presented so that the interpretation of the findings and the emergent answers to the research questions are significant and made meaningful.2 To this end, the research questions form the overarching structure for presenting the data and the sub-themes are explored in more detail within each category. 2' Although I deleted vocal hesitations (such as “uh” and “um”) and verbal prolongations (such as “you know”, “you see”, and “like”) from the quotes, I retained emotional emphasis through punctuation. See Appendix C for complete Procedures for Transcription. Grammar was not corrected; comments are quoted as they were produced on tape. 79 Figure 4-1: Sub-themes Identified through narrative analysis PAST EXPERIENCES CURRENT EXPERIENCES SELF IMAGE Early Experiences Turning Points Performer Perspective Family Influences Influences Gender Perspective Education Education Gendered Performer Perspective Teacher/Mentor Performing Experiences Influences Influences Gender Influences Teaching Experiences Gender Influences Gender Influences Trustworthiness Trustworthiness, in qualitative research, is not a matter of reporting an absolute truth found in replicable data; rather, it is a matter of assessing the relative plausibility of an interpretation of the data (Mishler, 1986). In qualitative research, the “routine” method of obtaining trustworthiness is triangulation, or checking data against multiple sources and methods (Bresler and Stake, 1992). In interpretive narrative studies, trustworthiness is achieved through a display of the work of interpretation so that others can assess it for its relative plausibility, credibility, and trustworthiness (Mishler, 1992). The entire research process contributes to the trustworthiness and plausibility of the end results. For this 80 reason, Mishler (1986) suggests that the ways in which observations and interviews in qualitative research studies are carried out are important to consider. The accompanying analysis of the gathered data must be guided by specific rules, and theoretical frameworks that serve to interpret the findings must be well defined and explained in an effort to establish and maintain credibility on the part of the researcher and the study itself (Mishler, 1986). Reissman (1993) gives the following criteria for ensuring the trustworthiness of a narrative study: 1. Persgasiveness and plausibiliy. This is shown through support of the theoretical claims and the offering of alternative interpretations of the data. Where possible, I have offered several interpretations of the stories told by the participants. The possibility for multiple meanings of the text was noted. 2. Correspondence. This is achieved by giving the participant(s) an opportunity to review all completed transcripts, also known as member checks. The interview transcripts were sent to each participant for her review, additions, deletions, and final approval. Coherence. The interpretation is related at various levels in what the narrator is attempting to say or accomplish through telling of an historical account; how the narrator relates the account; and how that account is thematically related to others. I have attempted to maintain coherence throughout this study by providing large segments of the interview transcripts to illustrate the emergent themes. In many cases, I have 81 inserted background information provided by the participants to give more meaningful context for each story. I have examined the purpose behind telling a particular story and looked carefully at how that story was re-told in the interview. Finally, where appropriate, I have linked together parts of the conductor’s stories for greater comprehension of the whole narrative. 4. Pragmatic use. The extent to which a particular study will be used as the basis for the work of the other researchers. This criterion is for the future; although, the concluding chapter of this study offers suggestions for further research based on the findings of my work. The choice of what to report in qualitative research is subjective and evolving (Bresler and Stake, 1992). Trustworthiness is the element that makes those choices, and the research study itself, “believable”. Triangulation in this study on gender issues and the experiences of women choral conductors was achieved through careful analysis of interview transcripts, field notes, and the participants’ editing of those interview transcripts. Describing Past Musical Experiences: Influence on Current Practice This study seeks to document past experiences of women choral conductors. Significant and influential historical life events require careful consideration and examination for their potential influence on the current experiences and practice of women choral directors. During the interview sessions, the participants were encouraged to tell stories from the earliest 82 memories of their musical experiences, as well as stories that involved the musically influential people in their lives. These stories are from a time before the participant had formally begun her professional choral conducting career. In my analysis for the emergent themes of these stories, I closely linked many of the early music education experiences (identified as a sub-theme) to the influence of family (identified as another sub-theme). l have grouped these two sub-themes together in my presentation, description, and interpretation of the stories. This chapter consists of stories and discussion drawn from the participants’ memories and narratives from their musical experiences in their family life and in their early music education. Stories of influential teachers and mentors are also included in this chapter that describes past musical experiences of the three women conductors in my study. The chapter closes with a few stories from the participants’ recollections of the beginnings of their professional musical careers as a way of introducing the established professional career stories that follow in Chapter 5. Influence of Family: “There Was Always Music in My Home ”3 My mother is a singer, a very FINE singer, and my dad was a PHENOMENAL DANCER and a violinist. Neither of them professional, but music, singing, in our home was just something that was done all the time - always music on...(Susanne) When asked to tell stories about the early musical experiences as a young child, each participant spoke frequently and with great admiration about the 83 important influences that she had within her own family, particularly in her parents. Celia described singing in her home and her childhood as a "way of life,” and Karen remembered seeing her mother conducting “all the time.” In fact, the influence of a musical home seemed to be a central theme for each of the participants. In particular, the participants’ mothers were identified as having the greatest influence on the women conductors’ early musical experiences and their early perceptions of the importance of musical experiences and music education. The importance of interpersonal relationships is readily recognized and revealed in women’s personal narratives (Personal Narratives Group, 1989). Women’s lives are shaped through their personal relationships, especially the relationships that they form with family: “Feminists have long noted the special reliance of women upon the resources of networks of family and kin, and the important role women play in nurturing and maintaining such networks” (Personal Narratives Groups, 1989, p. 20). At the onset of the interview session, Celia highlighted her mother's important influence in her life: My mother was a wonderful singer. She was a brilliant lyric dramatic soprano. And while she interrupted her career to be married and have children, there was always music in my home - and, LOTS of singing, always lots of singing. She was a soprano soloist in a local church choir and there were often concerts and musicales way beyond the church liturgy into really singing as a way of life. And so, I was VERY fortunate to have a mother that was just a beautiful soprano and also a devoted mother... (Celia) 3 This is an excerpted phrase from Celia’s interview. 34 Celia’s story is a description of the musical environment in which she lived and developed, thereby influencing and enriching the kinds of musical experiences she had as a young child. Research in early childhood has indicated that children need experiences with music early on in life. Immersion in a musical environment lays the foundation for young children to develop musical skills and knowledge. High levels of musical intelligence, found in musical experts, develop at an early age with the important environmental nurturing of innate musical aptitude (Gordon, 1990). The focus in this story is on the conductor’s mother as a soprano, as a performer, and as a parent. An evaluation of her mother’s parenting ability is given twice. At first reading, it appears as though her mother’s role as a parent is insignificant, as the conductor speaks of her mother as a parent only in a passing context. That is, this account builds from the foundation of describing her mother as a performing musician. However, as one looks more carefully into this account, the admiration for her mother as a parental figure becomes more apparent. One must read between the lines and frame this particular account in its historical context. The description given by the participant does not explicitly define a “devoted” mother in the mid-twentieth century. Celia’s mother was at home with her children for significant amounts of time. This fact may lead Celia to describe her mother as “devoted.” In other words, Celia acknowledges that, unlike the present realities of many contemporary professional women, her mother had to make career sacrifices for her children. Celia’s use of the word “devoted,” suggests an emotional background or tone with her story that builds on the ideas of admiration for her mother, earlier 85 illustrated by the words “wonderful” and “brilliant.” The emotional content encapsulated by the word “devoted” allows the reader to glimpse beyond the spoken words of Celia’s story into unspoken meaning. At times, unspoken words create a meaningful context for interpreting women’s lives (Personal Narratives ‘Group, 1989). With women’s roles changing in the current work and professional environment, our understandings of women’s roles in the household have considerably changed throughout the past century. Women in contemporary North American culture readily assume the duality of their responsibilities as parent and professional. Of course, some women choose to simultaneously accept these responsibilities while others will choose one responsibility over the other as a long-term commitment. Celia’s mother chose to temporarily leave her professional singing career while assuming parental responsibilities. As a mother, I have chosen to continue the path I have set for my professional career in the midst of parenting young children. Both scenarios are relevant choices and decisions that many women consider, for various reasons. In the late 20th Century, research reported that women establishing professional careers experienced potential conflict in their societal and familial roles: Increased female participation in the work force over the past two decades has focused attention on the potential for conflict when men and women choose to deviate from the traditional gender-based division of labor. Of particular interest is the growing number of women professionals whose 86 commitment to career overrides normatively prescribed female role patterns. (Regan and Roland, 1985, p. 985) In Chapter 2, the Review of Literature, I reported on the findings of Rushing (2002) and the inequalities of women and men in academics. With further relevance for this chapter, Rushing asserts that women’s family responsibilities have no statistical evidence or correlation with their academic success; however, the perception remains that the productive life of an academic does not allow for a productive and satisfactory life with family responsibilities. This is congruent with findings by Scheib (2003) that emphasized a perceived conflict between the traditional roles of motherhood and the traditional expectations of a choir director. That is, the study found a perception that women were either neglecting family for professional responsibilities or they were neglecting the development of their professional program and career for family responsibilities. This may serve to add to the stress of being a working parent (Scheib, 2003). Each person’s situation is unique. It would be problematic to oversimplify Celia’s description of her mother by suggesting that her decision to interrupt a career to stay home with her children consequently earns her a certain high level of devotion. What is noteworthy and highly suggestive in this account is that the level of parental devotion, however it was initially defined, has clearly left a significant impression on this particular conductor. This impression may be as prominent to Celia as her image of her mother as a performing musician, even though emphasis on her mother as a highly 87 competent musician seemed most important for Celia to convey in the interview context. She has a deep admiration for her mother, the singer. Celia finds significance in her mother’s career, in her mother’s parenting commitments and in the fact that all of this has been a contributing factor in the shaping of her own career as a professional musician. Karen also spoke of her mother as a major influence throughout her early musical experiences and early musical development. She describes her mother as the “central” figure in her musical environment: I have had a lot of REALLY WONDERFUL musical people who really influenced me when I was a kid. My mom is really central to that because she was the conductor of the church choir where I went and the organist at that church and that whole church community was so supportive of her and her work and the choir. They saw this incredible group of young people coming in singing so beautifully. (Karen) Undoubtedly, Karen acknowledges not only the importance of her mother’s musical influences on her life, but also on the importance of the church and its role in providing and nurturing a rich musical environment. This conductor suggests that it is her mother's role as a church musician that was central to her early musical development. The Church and music in the church were important and central in this account. According to Karen, the church functioned as an important social and cultural phenomenon and served to validate the success of a musical environment and its musicians. She viewed the church’s promotion and support of her mother's work as a mark of musical excellence and success. 88 For this conductor, her mother‘s work at the church was paramount for her own success as a performing musician, albeit in the public/secular realm rather than in a church setting. Karen’s telling of the story of her mother’s creative strategies to gain a musical education was necessary, as she wanted to impress upon me her own amazement at the details of this story: Morn went through so much to become a teacher-musician. In her generation, it was so much more difficult...during the time of the war she had become a nurse even though her [music] teacher had come to her parents and said: “Look! She should be going into university for music”. But it was the time of the depression and they had lost their store, and they almost lost their home, and it was a terrible time, and so she couldn’t go! So she became a nurse instead, and all the time she was nursing, she was taking her theory through the [University overseas]. So she was sending all her papers — theory papers and history papers - everything over by ship during the war. And they would come back corrected to her and then she would send the next batch off time and time again - all - during the war, the ships were being bombed, and that’s how she got her [formal training and certification in] theory and history. (Karen) Karen considers these facts instrumental in defining her own musical work ethic and in shaping her musical environment as a child. Her mother persevered and overcame obstacles of poverty and inaccessibility to music education. To some degree, Karen based her own measure of musical success on her mother’s story, 89 and without her mother‘s persistence, Karen’s own music education may not have been so richly influenced. Celia’s mother showed a penchant and persistence for musical success by ensuring quality musical instruction for her children: As I started to study piano I had very wonderful, nurturing teachers that did all the right kinds of things, like at the beginning stage of piano lessons actually teachers who came to the house. Teachers whose reputations my mother knew about and so yes, we had music lessons and we had a wonderful piano teacher. When I was a YOUNG adolescent, I started then studying with one of my mother’s best friends who was a concert pianist. And so she brought me to yet another level and when I turned SIXTEEN . . . VOICE lessons were my birthday present and at a very early age, I was studying with one of the foremost pedagogues in [Name of Country] at a very early age. So yes, all these teachers at an early, EARLY age were very influential. (Celia) In this story, Celia again highlights her mother‘s important role in influencing her music educational experiences as a young child. It seems important for this conductor to place the context of this story in light of her mother’s significant approval of her piano teachers. That is, Celia felt assurance in the excellence of her teachers predominantly because her mother knew firsthand of the teacher’s reputation and quality of work. This suggests that parental influence is likely even more significant than the influence of a formal, professional teacher. 90 Each participant wanted to highlight the support and encouragement that she felt from her father as well as her mother. Celia’s story of her early musical influences exemplifies the important role her father played: My father was in the nightclub business and at the same time ...he worked in clubs in [Name of City]4 that sponsored concerts with people like Louis Armstrong, Ella Fitzgerald and all the GREAT jazz artists of our time and so from my mother I had the opportunity to hear singing all the time and to be exposed to great symphonies and great vocal artists and from my father I had the opportunity to hang out with well-known jazz artists who really introduced me to yet another side of musical works...it was just the way of life in my family. (Celia) Celia’s father owned a jazz nightclub and introduced his daughter to another genre of musical culture, and Karen spoke of her father who showed “great support” as he simply “came to everything.” Susanne described her father as a “phenomenal dancer and a violinist” and although both her parents remained amateur artists,5 she nonetheless strongly felt the influence of her musical home environment. Family influences extended beyond parents to grandparents who “gave a great deal” to musical experiences and music education. A love and natural talent for music was described as inherent or hereditary and a direct result of the 4 Brackets [ ] are used in quotes to omit or alter information that may reveal the identity of the speaker, for example, names of people, places and institutions. Refer to Appendix D for more details. 5 Evidence for this is found in the excerpt from Susanne’s interview session quoted at the beginning of this section. 91 familial influences that the conductors acknowledged: “It’s certainly in the genes. My grandfather was a church organist” (Susanne). Each of the conductors recounted musical memories and experiences that involved their extended families. For some of the conductors, their extended families were influential in their decision to pursue music education and a professional career in music. Karen chose to highlight the musical accomplishments of several members of her extended family. The following account of the importance of music in the history of the extended family serves to exemplify the extraordinary degree to which her family supported and valued individual pursuits in music educafion: My grandmother . . . had studied music. I had a great-aunt who actually ...in the 1920’s or 30’s graduated in voice from [Name of University] - one of the very first people to graduate in music, and a WOMAN — it was astounding at that time. And I had a great-uncle who was a wonderful tenor...And then, my grandmother, I guess she learned how to play, and She played in the Baptist church at home, and then my mom took over from her when my grandmother became too crippled with arthritis and so that’s where Mom got her training [to be a church organist]. (Karen) As the preservation of cultural heritage, traditions and values passes through generations, so too does the preservation of family traditions and values. For these women conductors, music often played a major role in promoting the passage of family values. This story provides evidence that musical training is I not always deliberate, but sometimes occurs by default. At times, a child may 92 learn from her parents, by their being forced to take on new roles and opportunities. That is, Karen’s mother had to learn to play the organ and become the church organist because her own mother was physically unable to carry on in that role. Although Karen finishes her account with a focus of her mother’s musical education, she does not clearly begin her story with this focus. Karen wants to tell her story with a broader scope, bringing in many of her family members to show that her musical influence and her mother's musical influence are grounded in tradition and family history. In this conductor's history, there is evidence that music was important for many of the family members, creating a strong, historically rich musical environment for which the conductor was able to foster her own sense of musical worth. Indeed, each of the participants in this study acknowledges the existence and thereby importance of early musical influences that were both consistent and rich. There was always strong indication that their individual paths would take them further into music education experiences and the development of a career in music. None of this was possible without the support and encouragement of family. The influence of family was immeasurable for these conductors. The conductors frequently acknowledged and credited their families for their individual successes in music. Most often, the women conductors regarded their mothers as the most influential on their musical paths. Each of the conductors highlighted her relationship with her mother as an important and necessary element in her musical success. 93 Influence of Teachers: “Our Lessons Together Were Exercises in Joy'” I had a WONDERFUL piano teacher . . . — she’s still living, I think she’s 95 now. And was the very first music graduate from [Name of University] she was a graduate in piano in the 1920’s or 303 — one of the very first people to graduate as well in piano, one of the — especially women again. And she concertized with the [Name of Symphony Orchestra], she played ALL over the place - she was just a musician through and through and through. And, she had BEAUTIFUL sound on the piano, wonderful sound. And, our lessons were just exercises in joy, . . . she couldn’t bear to have us play scales or technique - you just do that on your own. But, we would listen to pianists’ play Chopin, Brahms, (pause) and we would just listen as part of the lesson... [Name of Teacher] was just wonderful. And she played for all the Broadway shows in the area, she also did . . . recital work and everything. So we got to hear her firsthand all the time - and someone who played so musically — it was just - we just - have her in our ears, she’s there! ...So it was wonderful that she was my teacher. And, I was just thrilled to death. (Karen) Music education experiences are partially a matter of negotiating dynamics between at least two people - the music teacher and the music student. In the life stories of choral conductors, early music education experiences were described as highly influenced by the particular music teachers that helped make that experience viable. In particular, the conductors interviewed 94 for this study, as did I, spoke most often of their music education experiences with their individual piano teachers. Stories about these piano lessons and their teachers took priority in many of the conversations when participants were asked to describe and detail their early music education experiences and to profile the influential persons that played a central role in the quality of those experiences. Often, the recounts of these experiences came across as elucidations and evaluations of the teachers rather than as interpretations of the conductor-as- young student. In the above story, Karen describes her piano teacher with the same child- like wonderment and unabashed admiration that she must have felt when she was a young child studying with this particular teacher. This is an account of one student’s love and admiration for her teacher. The conductor spoke of her teacher in ways that, in this case, were similar to the ways in which she spoke of her own mother’s musical abilities. The conductor as a young child felt a special bond with this teacher, and continues to feel and express the characteristics of this bond many decades later. The influence of her teacher was important for the conductor to highlight for many reasons. First, the accomplishments of her teacher bear some historical significance for women in music, particularly in higher education. Karen feels this is influential in her own career. Karen framed the important influences of her teacher in a context made more meaningful through the listing of her accomplishments in traditionally male domains. For example, the teacher was one of the first women pianists to graduate from a university that was traditionally occupied by men. She performed with symphonic 6 This is an excerpted phrase from Karen’s interview session. 95 orchestras in the early to mid 1900’s when the majority of orchestral musicians were male. Presently, Karen finds herself in a professional role historically occupied by men. As a woman performer, she is now following in the footsteps of her beloved piano teacher, taking on non-traditional roles in a professional, artistic realm. Implicit in Karen’s story is the importance of providing excellent teachers and models for young children, a tenet that Susanne also expressed when relating her experiences as a young pianist: I dropped piano lessons in the middle of Grade 10. I think it was the Chopin Polonaise in A Major that did me in. I didn’t have the technique or shouldn’t have been playing something when I didn’t have the basic skills to cope with it. It’s so important to have the BEST teachers when you’re six or seven - NOT wait until you’re 14 and you’ve shown some talent. By that time, your arms and your hands are such a mess. To undo it all, is VERY difficult...lt’s so important to have GREAT teachers when you start. People don’t understand that, most parents don’t. Sometimes it’s expedient, isn’t it? It’s the lady up the street, or it’s just around the corner, and all of those things. So your two little girls have to get great teachers. (Susanne) The teachers in these stories are often revered for their extraordinary personalities and exceptional teaching methods. It is thus reasonable to suggest that many of the depicted piano teachers are the early musical models from which the conductors have inherently learned some educational skills for 96 teaching and conducting. Excellence in early teachers is than desirable, since children need to learn from an expert model.7 I Influences of the past and of early music education experiences may not always be remembered and considered in affirmative ways. Not all of the relationships and experiences with private music teachers were positive. Some of the stories reflected negative experiences and memories: I was born in this very small village in [Name of Country] and there was one piano teacher...and when I look back, she was not a very good teacher. I didn’t have very good teachers until I came to Canada. (Susanne) And yet, these teachers were still influential, as they gave the young student important images and examples of the strong impact a negative situation may have. Sometimes, poor teaching examples or situations helped to paint a picture of the opposite, the ideal situation. In this way, Susanne may have developed a sense of the correct way to approach her own development in her future roles by modelling the opposite characteristics from that which she had been shown. She gave her explanation of “good teaching” with an example of the children that she now teaches, and in contrast to her own experiences: Five-year-olds, four-year-olds - Suzuki violins - that come here and play, they play Vivaldi and they’re looking all over the place, they can’t read a note. But, they can phrase and they’ve got this bowing arm that’s just oh- h-h-h-h (gestures) — wonderful! (Susanne) 7 In music education, an expert teacher is one who has extremely high levels of musical knowledge (musicianship) and teaching knowledge (educatorship) (Elliott, 1995). 97 Susanne reveals her perception of high quality teaching in her description of a young child’s musical gestures. A sense of phrasing and musicality with exceptional technique is valued. Therefore, teachers who can teach their young students to model these values in their musicianship are, in turn, valued for their expertise in this area. In summary, excellence in teaching is highly valued among the experiences of each of the women conductors in my study. Excellent teachers at a young age develop important relationships with their students and have great influence over how their young students will respond to musical experiences, whether negatively or positively. In the stories from these women conductors, the importance of this relationship takes precedence over the actual details of the learning experience. For these women conductors, passing along the values of excellence in music learning is also important, and came through in their described experiences. Influence of Mentors: Some Gendered Perspectives Each of the narratives revealed a common perception that some teachers had great influence on the women choral conductors in this study. The conductors identified these teachers as formative mentors. Each conductor told stories that highlighted this important and dynamic relationship between student and teacher throughout the development of their professional careers. They recalled the memories of their significant teachers and mentors with warmth and a strong sense of affection for the individuals involved. Most of these stories were 98 positive. Indeed, these stories were the ones upon which, for the most part, the participants wanted to focus. In listening to each conductor tell her story, I sensed that these relationships were important in her musical development; however, they were not necessarily more important than the stories that involved their families. The participants expressed strong emotions as they related stories of their mentors, placing the relationship with their mentor at the centre of their narratives. [Name of Mentor] was a (slight pause) a genius, un-paralleled, no equal with a cappella music. Canadian contemporary twentieth century - Renaissance, unmatched. Rarely has anyone, ever since, surpassed his ability to interpret with extraordinary sensitivity the Willan motets, with William Byrd’s “Ave Verum Corpus.” From [Name of Mentor] I learned about sensitive phrasing, musical phrasing, rubber bar lines. [Name of Mentor] never let the bar lines get in the way . . . Choral conductors forget that (slight pause) the notes and the barlines are only there, they’re just the beginning, the composer’s got to get the stuff down somehow or another, organize it in some way, shape or fashion. That’s just the beginning. It’s up to the conductors (slight pause) who have this incredible sense of sound in their ears and the shape of the piece to get those notes off the page and give the pieces a soul of their own and make them live. Most people fall down at that step . . . I always call that, that people can get 90% and that’s the last 10 per cent to come. And [Name of Mentor] would go all the way. When he had the [Name of Choir], Janet, and that is 99 a wonderful choir to work with - young, fresh voices, good readers, keen kids, and beautifully balanced parts - that choir — it seems no one is able to do what he did almost instinctively with it, it’s just - unbelievable . . . And yet, I don’t think he realized how talented he was. I think he, in many ways like me, he learned by doing. (Susanne) Susanne reverently characterized her mentor by highlighting his musical accomplishments and the subtle aspects of musical interpretation that she was able to learn from him. Susanne’s description of her mentor offers a glimpse of someone who, from her perspective, is a musical genius. It is difficult to imagine that she would speak of anyone else in this manner, so strongly articulated are her words. Her mentor is above all other choral conductors in his ability to take the music to a higher level, to “go all the way.” Susanne has learned about musical phrasing and other important interpretive matters from her mentor, and in this way, she is not like the other choral conductors in her story. She too is above them in her musical success: I have always had a great deal of difficulty understanding why (slight pause) everybody can’t do what I do. I have intern conductors and l have people who have come to study with me, although I always say, “ Well, I really don’t know how to teach you, but you can certainly watch and help here and there.” But I‘ve seen people try to imitate it or do it, and they find it very difficult. So I think so much of this is intuitive and experience and just things that you develop over a long period of time. (Susanne) 100 V The parallels in her description of herself and her description of her mentor are strong. In Susanne’s opinion, she and her mentor have common learning styles (learning by doing), as well as the ability to fully interpret the musical score. This is not self-centred praise; rather, Susanne is trying to understand her own success and talent by making comparisons with her respected and beloved mentor. Furthermore, she believes that he did not “realize” the extent of his musical talent. Of course, given the international recognition and proclaimed expertise of her mentor, it would seem that he probably had a strong indication of his own levels of musicianship. Susanne’s propensity to portray her mentor as someone who did not acknowledge his own talent appears to stem from a desire to place him on par with her own level of success and talent. She seems inclined to deconstruct his nationally identified success to show that he was similar to her. Susanne’s mentor was her musical guide and inspiration. Through access to his expertise, she was able to approximate her mentor’s actions and further develop her own knowledge and skills in a nurturing environment. Susanne was passionate about the topic of her mentor and she clearly holds him in the highest regard, giving him much credit for her acclaimed success as a professional conductor: [Name of Mentor] has had a POWERFUL, POWERFUL impact on choral music in this country . . . his legacy, it’s all over the place now. But, to sing with someone like that. And in the [Name of Choir], . . . when he stopped [the rehearsal], I’d always think, ‘If I were him, what would I fix now?’ And 101 fifty percent of the time, I would, and I always used to (slight pause) test myself, and sometimes I didn’t zero in on what he heard was wrong, but sometimes I did! It was the most wonderful feeling over those, you know, 22 years - to (pause) to get into his head and hear what he was hearing, and to think about fixing what he was hearing. He had enormous capacity - sonority, sound, blend, and SHAPE. I WISH I hadn’t been so shy and I wish I’d sat him down right there, right there! And asked fifty questions. I never . . . I do regret not. . . . I think he had a very soft spot in his heart for me, he would have [answered my questions] but I (slight pause) I was just a little bit intimidated by him. He was the way he was, to protect himself in many ways, and, I can appreciate that now (laughs) and understand it. I think you’re out there all over the place; you just have nothing left to yourself. (Susanne) For Susanne, it was important to highlight the impact her mentor has had on the larger world of choral music and choral conducting, not just in her particular situation and development. There is a bitter-sweetness to this story, with the acknowledgement of profound knowledge gained coupled with a sense of regret and loss. This story is a memory that spans a significant amount of time, as well as a range of emotions. Susanne feels excitement and awe when remembering the times that she learned the most from her mentor, those formative learning experiences. Susanne also feels regret in a sentimental portrayal of missed opportunities for greater closeness and bonding with her mentor, and the conductor acknowledges the true feelings throughout her 102 association with her mentor - feelings of intimidation. Her description of her mentor as “the way he was” assumes an understanding of her mentor’s character, one that she perceives as intimidation over others. Without a doubt, her relationship with her mentor was paramount to her formative experiences throughout the development of her professional career. Celia regards the influence of her mentors’ teaching as having substantial impact on her professional career. Two of her mentors were women conductors: In terms of your discussion about my influences, I don’t want to leave out the profound influences that I’ve had with the female mentors . . . 'Cause most women my age, now in their fifties, did not have the benefit of TWO extraordinary female mentors, and I did. So that is a huge plus as far as my ability to go forth, as it were...[Name of Mentor] influenced me in terms of a very INCLUSIVE way of teaching, a way of ENGAGING learners in DISCOVERY - what people would call REFLECTIVE PRACTICE... This was always a woman’s way of teaching by engaging people in making decisions and helping them discover their OWN answers rather than PRESCRIBE answers. So, [Name of Mentor] was doing this fifty years ago, and that’s the way I learned to teach which now, of course, is at the cutting edge of research, the reflective practitioner and so on and so forth and everybody’s on that bandwagon. But THIS woman was doing this from day one! And so, she was the light of my life. (Celia) Celia enjoys the feeling of a privileged position in her experiences. It is important for her to emphasize that her situation was not similar to most. That is, most 103 women had male mentors, probably due to gender dynamics at that time in the professional field of choral conducting. For Celia, working closely with two exceptional women has been a clear link to her success as a professional conductor, her “ability to go forth.” The relationship that Celia describes here is deeply personal, and she attributes gender to the successful outcomes of her mentor’s teaching style. Her mentor is described as forward thinking, as one who taught from a woman’s perspective, and a clear “light” for Celia. Like Susanne’s Story, Celia’s description of one of her mentors focuses on an exceptionally high level of musical expertise: [Name of Mentor] was my major influence, and [Name of Mentor] was very strong and confident and technically precise and . . . was very straightfonrvard, and very systematic and very TECHNICALLY demanding - an absolute quintessential MUSICAL musician who REALLY devoted her life to just being as true as she possibly could to the music. (Celia) Celia characterizes her mentor using clear and strong descriptors. Her words exemplify the earlier conviction that her mentor was the ultimate musical means and inspiration for Celia's musical growth and development. Celia’s description is as strong as the description that Susanne gave for her mentor; although, Susanne spoke in a tone of wonderment and Celia spoke in tones of love and admiration. Unlike Susanne’s account, Celia does not express any regret in this description of her relationship with her mentor. I suggest a need to further explore the differences between Susanne and Celia’s relationships with their respective mentors. Celia has characterized her 104 mentor as “demanding,” but has not described her as intimidating.8 Susanne described her mentor as “intimidating” and his actions and overall disposition was brushed aside in favour of accepting him for “the way he was” with no real indication that his actions carried possible consequential feelings of intimidation among his younger, female colleagues. There are issues of gender in these two examples. It is not a virtuous quality for a woman to be demanding; yet, a man is accepted for his intimidating qualities that likely stem from the roots of a controlling, demanding authoritative figure. As suggested in the review of literature, women conductors may experience more problems than men when they take on this perceived need for high levels of “assertiveness and a commanding personality (Hinely, 1984b). This double standard highlights a gendered difference between men and women. Professional Beginnings: “An Interesting Road”l9 Each of the participants told stories of early music educational experiences that were significant in shaping their future lives and career paths. A turning point is defined in the context of my study as a significant time or experience in one’s life (professional or personal) that serves to shape future experiences and the direction in which one will continue to move and fulfill life goals. 8 Chapter 5 reveals a discussion of women professors that receive negative feedback and evaluations from their students who perceive the women to be too demanding in their approach to classroom teaching and rehearsal pedagogy. In both instances, “demanding” is the word that Celia chose to use. ' 9 From interview session with Susanne 105 An extremely defining moment was a concert that the young [Name of Soloist] gave in [Name of City]. And I went and l was overwhelmed. I sat in the front row and I clapped my little hands off. And I could see her looking down at me, but I was just TOTALLY ovenrvhelmed by her performance. And THAT day l KNEW I wanted to be a musician. And it wasn’t so clearly defined as “choral conductor,” but it was, I wanted to work with voices and I wanted to be a musician. And it was that concert. (Karen) At some point in each interview session, I asked questions to elicit stories to determine whether there was a time when each conductor absolutely knew and understood that she wanted to pursue a professional musical career. These were defining moments for the conductors, clearly reflective important life decisions. In the above account, Karen described a significant moment in her life as a young child that served to inwardly ignite her future aspirations to be a musician. Like many of the recounts of the women conductor’s personal experiences, Karen remembered this particular story for its specific events as well as for the influential individual that was involved. Karen never forgot that concert with that particular performer. As an adult, she had the opportunity to meet that performer and to tell her this story. This served to complete and fulfil an experience that had occurred many years before. Clearly, this was a formative experience for Karen as she still considers it the moment that defined for her the meaning of her future musical life. 106 One of the stories that emerged from this part of the interview process described the impromptu, yet meaningful, first encounter with Karen and her eventual mentor: After everybody was gone, I was practicing, just practicing. And he [the conductor] walked in and said: “Oh hello, would you play this for me please?” And he had me play this DAMN piece, and these riddles - The “Old King Cole” — ()10 don’t know who wrote it, so I played it. But then, it was there and then that he asked me to come and play for his choir next year (laughter). It was my audition. (Karen) Karen’s inclusion of this story was almost an afterthought in the midst of an autobiographical account of the “early years” of her career. This story was secondary, not primary at this point in the interview session; however, the story has critical significance. This story is the beginning of what would become an exceptional career for this young pianist/conductor, despite the fact that, during the interview session, Karen did not highlight the importance of this story. In fact, she told this story in a casual, seemingly insignificant manner that diminished the relevance this story held for her future career as a professional choral conductor. Perhaps even more significant are the additional facts surrounding this story that Karen told to complete the a larger context: After I had left [Name of University], which is funny, I had written to [Name of Conductor/Mentor] . . . “look, I’d be very interested in coming to play for you sometime, could you, let me know, keep me in mind?” I never got a . reply. (laughter) (Karen) 107 Several years before her informal audition experience, Karen had contacted the same conductor to request an audition and an opportunity to work with his organization as an accompanist. She formally wrote a letter to the organization, but she never received a reply. It was not until several years later that the unplanned, seemingly spontaneous audition took place and she finally got her opportunity. In the meantime, this delayed opportunity did not drastically alter Karen’s path; indeed, it enabled her to pursue higher educational opportunities elsewhere and to gain more experience in rich and valuable ways. As she said confidently in the interview, she was not discouraged, and insisted that she had always felt that it would happen when the timing was right. In fact, she recalled feeling quite confident that she would eventually work with two distinguished conductors, both of whom ultimately served as her conducting mentors: Karen: But, I KNEW, l KNEW I would be working with [Name of Conductor] and I KNEW I would be working with [Name of Another Conductor] when I was young. I knew. I just knew I would be. Janet: You had that dream, or goal? Karen: Well, after [Name of Conductor] did that performance...l thought: “oh, I’m going to be working with them.” So I fired off the letter, didn’t hear anything back, so then I went off to [Name of University] ...but I knew that it would happen. Funny, just funny when you have a premonition. ‘° Empty parentheses indicate unclear speech. Refer to Appendix D for further details. 108 ' Susanne spoke of the significance of a particular individual, of a particular setting and of the quality of the repertoire in that situation. She made a distinct comparison in the music of one sacred institution with another: When I was 20 . . . I went and sang in his choir in church and he was an extraordinary leader....a GREAT CHORAL person and we were singing [Name of Composer] in 8 parts and I had come from a church where we sang in E flat major and something in 3A time and to go and hear this music (slight pause) just knocked me out, I just couldn’t believe it. (Susanne) In this account, Susanne personally evaluates the church choir conductors and, consequently, the music program in the church, based on the quality of the chosen repertoire. The church choir conductor in her story is considered “extraordinary" because of the sophisticated level of repertoire that she experienced in his church. This was a defining moment in her musical education and experiences. Karen also experienced defining moments in her music education that were closely tied to the chosen repertoire: While I was at [Name of University], the [Name of Choir] came to do a concert. And, they did a workshop in the afternoon for the students and I was just sitting in the audience listening...the choir sang the [Name of Composition] by [Name of Composer]...THAT sent chills down my spine. And that was the moment I decided I would be a choral director...that moment. (Karen) 109 Karen’s story is a turning point in her professional life, in that it ultimately led her to her professional conducting career. Karen’s complete biographical story is interspersed with these important, life-changing moments. Earlier, Karen recalled the moment when she knew that she wanted to be a “musician,” although not necessarily a choral conductor. Later, the moment came when she knew she would be working with a particular choir. Now, in her description of the above event, the direction of Karen’s vocation is clearer. However, Susanne’s vocational direction was not necessarily a clear path: It was all completely by accident; it was not planned; it was not, “you have a five year plan or a ten-year plan”; it was not, “I wanted to be a great conductor” (slight pause) it all (slight pause) just happened — one thing led to another which led to another. (Susanne) Susanne is a professional choral conductor who did not plan for this career path in the early years of her professional life. She describes her position in the profession of choral conducting as an accident, something that she had not planned. This story is different from the other stories told and remembered as defining moments for the conductors in this study, as Susanne did not have that definitive moment in which she knew that she specifically wanted to be a choral conductor.11 Her desire was simply to teach children, and she described how she became a music teacher and a choral director with the making of one simple decision: " This is in reference to the distinctive, defining moments described by Celia and Karen, as found elsewhere in this chapter. 110 I started off teaching elementary school. The principal said, “Do you want to take the volleyball team or coach the choir? I think you should actually do the choir,[Name of Conductor], because . . . you can play the piano, you can sing, so would you do the choir?” I didn’t know anything about training choirs, I had sung in them all my life. That’s where I started . . . What I wanted to 00 was to get these [choristers] to sing beautifully, and in tune, and (pause) sing stylistically, beautifully. I wanted to do THAT from the very first choir rehearsal l EVER had. Now they sang very BADLY and I didn’t know how to fix it yet. But I learned very quickly. (Susanne) This is truly a formative experience, one that undoubtedly changed the course of Susanne’s life, as she had prepared herself for a much different role in her teaching career, to teach in the regular classroom: “I LOVED my work as a Classroom teacher - I taught 4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade” (Susanne). Careful analysis of Susanne’s story of her beginning teaching career reveals an experience partially defined through the historically stereotypical roles for men and women. The principal of this story had considered Susanne a possible candidate for a physical education position, but then ultimately directed her to assume the music position and responsibilities. Historically, music teaching is a more acceptable role for women in education. Recent research has suggested that this historical stereotyping and bias of women and men in music is still the norm and perhaps contributes to young women choosing these stereotypical roles for themselves (Jackson, 1998). 111 Other stories of simply meeting a future mentor or distinguished colleague in the field of choral conducting were defining moments in the careers and lives of the participants. These moments sometimes served to guide the conductor through a transition to the next phase of her professional life: Listening to the [Name of Choir] recordings in the sixties and then meeting [Name of Conductor] in the seventies when he heard my choir sing at [Name of International Conference] were defining moments. He was most complimentary and said I MUST share what I know with others, must mentor. Yes, yes. That was a passionate moment yes, yes. (Susanne) Another defining moment came not in meeting one person in particular (or in discovering the beginnings of a new mentoring relationship), but in finally arriving at a place where her musical background and her passion for music was thought to be understood by others around her in that same context: From my perspective, I think it was always clear that I would be going into music. Certainly, I was NOT interested in anything else at school - in anything in school I must say, that wasn’t music. I wasn’t interested. And, you know, I was lucky (soft laughter) I got through. . . And then, I was astounded when I got to [Name of University]. Because I had always sort . of thought of myself as fairly stupid because I didn’t... apply myself. I wasn’t interested in anything besides teaching music. So, when I got to [university] and discovered that I could do something, I could do theory and I knew, all of a sudden I was in a whole group of people that was the 112 same and understood. And, [it was] tremendous. Wonderful — what I was doing was VALUED and it was wonderful. (Karen) Celia expressed a similar passionate feeling: I honestly think in some ways that it was meant to be for me because I remember when I realized that music was going to be my life it was this RUSH - this absolute rush through my mind and body that permeated my whole being. It was like a light was going on inside me and it never left. (Celia) These particular stories share similar qualities. Each of the women describes the feelings that they associate with these particular moments in their lives. These emotional experiences have close ties to significant memories that detail the beginnings of career paths with music as a central element. Karen’s experience describes an early perception of the ongoing sense of failure for her in many academic areas other than music. She admits that she was not very successful in her academic pursuits. From Karen’s perspective, her sense of failure manifested in her self-perceived “stupidity" for many years, until she found herself in a place where others understood her musical language and her musical self. Music was the identity through which Karen felt worthy in an academic setting and elsewhere. She had always felt accepted in her home and church life, affirmed in her musical pursuits and talents, and encouraged and enabled in the furthering development of her musicianship. In an academic setting, her musical interests and talents were not viewed as important and, from her perspective, were not valued, something she realized after she pursued post- 113 secondary studies in music. Furthermore, formal music education was not that important in Karen’s elementary and secondary school environments. She recalled, from her early years of formal schooling, that the delivery of her school music lessons was via local radio programming. Is it possible that this lack of integrity in a school music program sent a strong message to her as a young child that music is not academically worthy of her time? When children such as Karen receive that message, they may misinterpret the value of their own personal musical pursuits and knowledge. Karen did not feel academically worthy because she did not have high levels of academic success in the more traditional mathematical-logical and linguistic subject areas. When Karen entered a post-secondary degree program in music, she realized that her academic pursuits could consist of more than the traditional subjects. She became aware of her own musical success and intelligence, and she could continue to learn in renowned institutional settings that permitted her to feel joy and a sense of well-being because of her musical accomplishments. The realization of this was life changing; it was as amazing and wonderful as the “rush” that Celia felt when she realized that music was her identity and was going to be her life endeavour. In this way, it is clear that for Karen, as for Celia, that the central focus of music in her life was imperative. Celia suggests that she felt a strong physical and spiritual sensation when she made the connection between her musical pursuits and enjoyment and her future professional pursuits in music. She describes this event and these feelings 114 as providing evidence that her relationship with music was “meant to be.” These women are musical beings. By their own self-realizations and personal accounts, they organize and live their lives in a constant effort to further understand themselves as musical beings. Conceivably, musical self-awareness creates invitational conductor-educators who can elicit cognizance and help this musical self-awareness flourish in others. I wonder whether their students would agree or disagree with this conclusion? As a former student of one of these conductors, I believe that her early experiences have shaped who she is a teacher and how she relates to her students. A colleague (and coincidentally, also a former student of the same teacher) once remarked, “It’s not what she taught me, it’s how she made me feel.”12 My teacher made me feel as though I was musically able and that I carried with me the permeation of the musical light that she herself had felt turn on inside of her. She shared that light and passed it on to me and now I share that light and pass it on to those around me. Issues of gender are not readily apparent in these particular defining moments. However, these are formative experiences for the women conductors. These experiences have contributed to who they are as musicians; specifically, as choral conductors. Gender is a necessary dynamic of these experiences as gender plays an integral role in each individual’s life story. '2 From informal conversation with Dr. Lori-Anne Dolloff in Toronto, Ontario, May 2006. This is the title of a research paper that Dr. Dolloff presented in Kingston, Ontario on May 26, 2006. 115 Summary Early music education experiences and influential people held great significance for the future directions of each conductor’s career path. Each conductor told stories that support this claim. The influence of family members, particularly mothers, is paramount to the perceived significance of the earliest encounters with music. Private piano teachers, conducting teachers, remarkable mentors, and early experiences in the professional music world also extensively contributed to the perceived success of each conductor. Perhaps it is worth noting that each successful, professional conductor credited her teachers and parents for her current position in the profession. The mentoring that occurred with each conductor in her relationships with teachers and parents is a recurring theme from each of their stories. This finding warrants the need for further research on mentoring relationships in the choral profession. 116 Chapter 5 - Her Story: Footsteps of my Own1 “The distance and sometimes contradiction between one’s own image and one’s own life in terms of events can be a powerful utopian force.”(Passerini, 1989, p. 196) Observations and Descriptions of Self: Experiences that Define and Shape Women Choral Conductors Issues of gender are sometimes readily apparent; particularly in one’s personal accounts of life experiences and professional practice. Throughout my study, I gathered the stories of professional women choral conductors for a closer examination into the ways in which gender influenced their experiences. The question of gender was an explicit mandate for this study; however, it did not ultimately control all aspects of the individual conversations during each of the interviews. Instead, the participants related their personal stories in the manner in which they felt was most comfortable and meaningful for them. Later, the question of gender became an integral and meaningful part of the lens through which I conducted the analysis. At those times when the issue of gender was given an explicit focus in the interview context, participants were generally asked to reflect on their past experiences as they perceive these experiences tohave been influenced by their gender. Specifically, I asked each participant to describe what it means to her to be a woman choral conductor and to tell about a time in her career when she may have felt her professional role defined by her gender. This chapter will reveal and explore the participants’ perceptions of themselves as women choral conductors. I present their stories individually, ‘ This is an excerpted phrase from Karen's interview. All names are pseudonyms to protect the 117 focusing on one choral conductor at a time. The second section of the chapter further examines aspects of the participants’ stories for possible influences of gender. The participants did not necessarily self-identify gendered influences; therefore, the narrative analysis relies once again on that which is not said in relation to that which was said, making issues of gender enacted rather than articulated, as described by Diamond (2000). This study uncovered many more enacted gender issues than articulated gender issues. Celia ’3 Story: Awareness of Gender On the Podium Celia’s awareness of her gender on the podium came to her in the context of conducting lessons with her teachers and mentors. She was criticized and instructed on aspects of an appropriate conducting gesture, her physical appearance, and an overall presentational style on the podium: My teachers had told me [to] always kind of dress like a man and not be too expressive and to blah, blah, blah and so in my early part in my career I did all the things you were supposed to do which was to take on the male model to do what it is that you needed to do. (Celia) Although Celia’s teachers and mentors were women, they discouraged in her a sense of inhabiting a place on the podium as a woman conductor. In fact, her teachers and mentors tried to take away the feminine aspects of her physical appearance and demeanour on the podium. Celia’s teachers instructed her to de-feminize her physical presence and to consider her role as a choral conductor in terms being derived from the male model. privacy of the participants 118 It is important to highlight the relationships here between looking “like a man” as well as technically conducting “like a man.” That is, employing a conducting technique void of excessive expressiveness in the gesture, as though expressive conducting is a feminine trait. This conductor’s negative, personal opinion of the ideas taught to her comes through clearly in her sarcastic tone and dismissal of the ideas as “blah, blah, blah.” However, the reader may recall earlier statements describing her mentor’s “quintessential” musicianship and her technical precision from Chapter 4.2 In that context, Celia describes her mentor’s conducting technique as “precise,” “strong” and “confident.” With this description in mind, and with the further instruction to take on the male model of conducting, it is apparent that Celia’s perception and characterization of her mentor’s conducting technique is masculine. If the perception of technical precision is a masculine trait, then the traditional rhetoric and style of conducting pedagogy needs further examination. Of even greater interest, and perhaps greater importance in this study, is the fact that these particular mentors, who desired a masculine approach to the art and technique of choral conducting, were themselves women. Celia considers this significant in her development, not only because they were professional women choral conductors, but, more importantly, because they were such fine musicians who presented an expert musical model for her to emulate in her own conducting. Celia learned early on that the model of the expert, and the “quintessential musician,” closely mirrored the model of the 2 The referenced excerpt from Chapter is found in the section titled, “Influence of mentors: Some gendered perspectives.” 119 male conductor. In other words, the ability to model themselves after men conductors defines women conductors. Celia also felt her role and characteristics as a woman choral conductor compromisingly defined with an incident that happened later on in her professional career: A composer at [Name of University] approached me with a score that he had written...it was commissioned and it was to be performed by my very close friend and composer colleague [Name of Composer/Conductor]. Well, it turned out that, [Name of Choir] could not afford to launch the premiere of this work because it required a large orchestra, paid soloists and so forth...So. ..I talked to [Name of Composer] and I said to the composer, “this is really a wonderful work, and we would like to do a performance of it”. And [Name of Composer] said, “Well this is absolutely wonderful,” he said. “I just got the news that the premiere cannot be done in [Name of City] and I’ve been hoping for a premiere for this work.” ...So [Name of Composer] gave me permission to approach my administration and my administration said, “yes, we will support this is a very good cause, and you know, we like this idea we will support this.” So, the following week, I got back to [Name of Composer] and I said, “I just got permission to do this with the orchestra and the choir and I’ll conduct it ...and we’re gonna do it.” And [Name of Composer] went, (mimicking voice) “ohhhh”(pause). Now this was a period of two weeks from the time that I had told him I was interested in the work and was going to go to our 120 administration. Meanwhile, I talked about this to several students, you know, this work. And several of those students were in another conductor’s choir at that time. [Name of Male Conductor] had been sent the score by [Name of Composer] three years before the time that I had seen the score. And it was on his desk. Then when I decided I was going to do it, some of the students must have gotten the word out, [Name of Male Conductor] went to his board Meanwhile, he had contacted [Name of Composer] after I had already contacted [Name of Composer] and said, that he would like [Name of Choir] to do it and that it would be broadcast by the [National Radio Broadcast]. So, [Name of Composer] said, “I am now in a complete dilemma.” I said, “Yes you are. I Will call you back in an hour.” And I thought about it. I called [Name of Composer] back and I said, “I am passionate about this work, I believe in this work. I want to do the Canadian premiere of this I work.... But it is your work, and I can well understand that it is very attractive for you to, in fact, feel that it needs to be recorded. And working with this other choir might influence the premiere a little bit more. But it’s your work and you have to decide.” So I gave him back his rights to do with whatever his work he needed to do.... rather than, “we’ve already made the commitment. We’re doing it.” Which I could have. That could have been one response. I gave it back to the composer because it really is something that he has to deal with in his life. (Celia) 121 Celia’s lengthy tale involved the premiere of a significant contemporary choral-orchestral work. This came at a time when she had recently experienced a significant shift in the focus of her professional career and was trying to establish and gain more recognition for an esteemed choral program. The events of this story were a turning point in Celia’s life as a conductor. For Celia, this solidified her decision about who she wanted to be and whom she felt she needed to represent as a professional choral conductor and as a woman. As she thought about this experience, she came to several conclusions about its impact and its overall meaning for her as a woman choral conductor: Because I realized that even though someone didn’t come to that composer with a complete package, that that somebody was a male conductor, RESPECTED male conductor who hadn’t responded to the original invitation to perform this piece. That my bid to perform it and my sincere interest in the piece was outweighed by this other conductor. So, I was very angry and very upset. It was more than the piece. It was more than, for me, it was more than the issue of this premiere. It was, “Could I continue in my work as a conductor knowing l was always going to be at a disadvantage, that I was going to be a DIS-advantaged conductor?” (Celia) In Celia’s personal analysis, her story of negotiating the premiere of a new composition was a story of gender discrimination in which issues of gender are clearly articulated. In my analysis of this story, it appears that being “disadvantaged” could have come from not having offered prestige or a recording 122 project along with the premiere performance. That is, gender is not necessarily the cause for Celia’s perception of her disadvantaged position. Certainly, gender was not an overtly articulated issue in this story; rather, from the participant’s perspective, it was a matter of enactment. Throughout her story, Celia provides her own analysis of those enacted gender issues (Celia’s actions that were “strictly done by males”) and articulated gender issues (a “DIS-advantaged conductor”). Regardless of the outward perception of gender discrimination, Celia was able to make some important decisions concerning her career choices because of this particular profound incident: Because it wasn’t just this isolated case. But I think a large part of this was that, NO female had EVER, ever trodden in this territory before...and was doing all these things that were strictly done by males before them. So, that night was a matter of “am I going to continue this and am I going to continue to put myself through this kind of thing.” And the answer by the end of the night was, "yes I was going to.” I had to because that was what I had to do. Because what I had to do was beyond gender it was beyond this particular situation, but what I wanted to contribute in the world I had to contribute whatever the cost was. And I decided to contribute at all costs. I made a conscious decision, whether I got the premiere of that work or NOT, that I was going to contribute AT ALL COSTS. (Celia) Celia made a renewed, spiritual, and philosophical commitment to the direction and formation of her career because of this particular incident. For her, this story presented a larger implication for her personal understanding of choral 123 music education. This breakthrough discovery forced a decision to pioneer and champion her efforts to further music education, regardless of the obstacles. Celia continues to define herself as a woman conductor in contrast to her perception of conductors who are men. However, she does not appreciate the distinctions that others make: Men aren’t defined by gender - only women. Only women. We only say, “it’s a FEMALE conductor,” we never say that - “MALE conductor" or “BLACK conductor" rather than a conductor. (Celia) The reasons for not wanting to identify the distinctiveness with women conductors are not readily apparent. Perhaps what is apparent is the need to question the origins of this prevailing attitude, and to investigate whether this attitude is rooted in societal, cultural beliefs or generational realities. When Celia did acknowledge her gender differences in the choral professional world, she felt strongly about wanting to contribute in the best possible way from the perspective of her gender. Celia contrasts her renewed commitment to her position with that of her colleague, who experienced many difficulties in an academic institution. These difficulties were similar to those that Celia has herself experienced: Now a young woman I know who was just appointed to [University faculty] has just taken a leave of absence — she can’t stand it anymore. She came to the [University] to conduct and her evaluations from the students were the same as the evaluations from the students that I got from the students in my first three to five years at the [University] which was: “she’s 124 WAY too demanding”. She has LEFT us because she could not deal with the discrimination that she has experienced and there is NOT enough research behind to know that women get a different kind of evaluation than men do! That all these students at the university level that are older adolescents want the women in their lives to be their mothers! And that if you EXPECT just what any MALE conductor expects — you’re a bitch, you’re too demanding. And that happens to every young woman, ...now that I’m in my fifties I’m just an old broad and you don’t count as a sex symbol anymore, so while you’re a sex symbol, you know, it’s confusing. They don’t know. So they do a personal evaluation rather than a professional evaluation. (Celia) This story elicits further questions of personal sustainability within a profession that, at times, pushes people beyond the set limits of their profession. Sometimes, women conductors are not able to sustain themselves within the traditional parameters of their chosen career. How do these women continue to work within this context and this reality? O’Toole (1994) asks a similar question in the context of her research on power relations within choral settings. The impetus of her research is to address the un-answered questions of why women are “willing to take up positions in music in which they are subordinated, marginalized, and silenced” (p. 31 ). Perhaps women continue to feel a need to prove themselves worthy of the traditionally male profession, as suggested by Hinley (1984b). Of course, there is the possibility that the power of music, of being involved with and absorbed by something so emotionally charged, 125 intellectually stimulating and artistically challenging can evoke a lifelong commitment regardless of the consequences. The artistic pursuit itself is highly valuable and worthwhile. Susanne’s Story: Opposing Gender In the past fifteen years, I would say it [my gender] has never, ever been an issue. Not even standing in front of an orchestra, which I’ve done frequently, which takes an ENORMOUS amount of courage... I don’t think they care, I don’t think (slight pause) all they think about is competence. I believe that sincerely. I don’t think if it’s a man or woman... I think as far as orchestras are concerned, even in my very earliest attempts in the 1980’s (slight pause) as soon as they know that you know the score, you’ve got a good ear, you’re just there to let them play well. I’ve never, (slight pause) I’ve never felt from the [Name of Symphony] or players, I’ve never felt that being a woman was an issue. (Susanne) Initially, Susanne did not directly answer the questions that asked her to reflect on what it means to be a woman choral conductor. In fact, she negated the idea that issues of gender even exist. As the conductor of internationally acclaimed choirs, Susanne has numerous opportunities to work with orchestras, and describes these experiences as requiring an “enormous amount of courage.” She is adamant that high levels of musicianship are the only issue here and that gender has played no part in her experiences. Kosloff (1983) supports this perception, suggesting, “For women, the podium is more attainable than ever 126 before. The more genuinely talented women conductors there are that can handle the challenge, the more acceptable it will become” (p. 243). The term “genuinely talented” is in keeping with Hinely’s (1984a) suggestion that women conductors have surpassed additional levels of accomplishment in order to gain success on the podium. Courage and competence are strong characteristics that may influence or inform Susanne’s experiences with conducting professional orchestras. She does not define courage and competence in terms of being a woman or in terms of being a choral conductor in front of an orchestra. However, as the stories from these experiences developed, some of her viewpoints altered slightly to allow for the possibility that her gender played a role in influencing the experiences, particularly in the perceived level of required competence: Probably, (long pause) a woman has to be more competent than a man of equal competence, say. You probably have to be really good or it could be an issue. But we do have some great role models now — [Name of Conductor], I remember watching her fifteen years ago with a brass quintet, and admiring her so much because she just took charge. You really do have to take charge, (long pause) [of] the music in question in a strong way. I’ve seen men get up and just joke around a bit. A woman couldn’t get along, couldn’t do that - could not be one of the boys. You have to be more professional than professional. So that, (slight pause) that IS an issue, I guess. (Susanne) 127 As did Celia, Susanne defined, exemplified, and distinguished herself as a woman choral conductor in opposition to her understanding of conductors who are men. Susanne chose to speak about her experiences as a woman conductor in the context of working with an orchestra, not a choir. This story presents an overlay of images and accounts mixed with other untold stories. Indeed, it is possible to suggest that there are several anecdotal stories behind each of these images, and each image is the result of an experience or of another story in the life of this conductor. For example, the image of observing another woman conductor is in reference to another story, and the image of observing men joking around on the podium is reference to perhaps several similar stories. Finally, the submission that a woman needs to be “more competent than a man” suggests that there are incidences and “stories” not being told in this context. Perhaps it is in reading between the lines, or in interpreting that which she does not say that the real issues of gender come into play in Susanne’s story. Having to be more talented than one’s male colleagues is a stark reality that permeates throughout all of these images. Susanne recognizes this and yet, at least in the public ' sense, appears to simply accept it and work within these socially and professionally accepted parameters. This is an historically-accepted viewpoint, one that is recognized and supported by the research in music education (Hinely, 1984b; Jagow, 1998; Lawson, 1984), and as referenced in Chapter 2 of this study.3 In this sense, she herself is enacting each of these gendered situations. 3 For further reference to this discussion, please see Chapter 2, Review of Literature and the discussion on Performance: Conducting. 128 This account merely hinted at the possibility of articulating these gendered situations and issues. The research findings of Lebrecht (1991) support Susanne’s perceptions of needing higher levels of competence on the podium. In fact, Lebrecht suggests that society leaves women conductors (along with black conductors and gay conductors) “outside” in not knowing the best way to present themselves and have historically experienced a more difficult position on the podium. He explains: Whether they act tough or soft, women conductors have been given a hard time by male-dominated orchestras. Women politicians can get away with wheedling and posturing, but conductors, whose appeal to fellow- musicians is instinctive, are dismissed as frauds once they seem to act out of character. Unable to play a role and unable to be herself, a woman conductor still has to find her natural place on the podium. (p. 264) Gould (1996) found similar perceptions in her study of women band directors. That is, the women conductors sensed a “heightened awareness” of their gender by others whenever they stood on the podium. The ensemble in front of them scrutinized them more closely and evaluated their work based on their gender. Susanne further articulates her experiences concerning other perceived enacted issues of gender: Susanne: Orchestras are probably far different from choirs, I don’t think it would ever be an issue [of gender] with a choir...l THINK, gosh I hadn’t even thought about this until we started saying it, I think we [women] are 129 (pause) sensitive about it — maybe overly sensitive about it. Cause I remember conducting one. of these [Name of Organization] things in [City] once. And, it was during a piece with a cello soloist, and I THOUGHT I saw the cellist look at one of the violinists with one of theSe looks, you know (gestures: roll eyes) and Janet, I don’t know if I was over-tired or what. But I just lost it. I just lost it for five minutes and went on a tirade. And said, “I’m not [Name of Other Conductor], but I’ve done more for, I’ve worked with children, for five hundred children standing here” and I just lit into him. It was the ABSOLUTE WRONG thing to do. It was the WORST thing I’ve ever done on the podium. At the break after this, he came to apologize and he said, “I wasn’t belittling you in any shape or form. It was just a connection we were“ (gestures)— And I don’t know if he was telling the truth, I think he probably was. Anyhow, that was, the ONLY time. BUT, that was my problem. I was over-tired and l was over-sensitive and I thought, I’m not going to let him get away with that, and I lost my cool. A man would never have done that because — And probably, if I had been a man, that incident would never have occurred. Janet: The incident of the eye rolling or the incident of you losing your cool? Susanne: The incident of my losing my cool. Janet: Because? (pause) I mean, why would a man react differently to someone acting like that? 130 Susanne: Because I don’t think that they’re as aware of (long pause) or as sensitive to a very, subtle gesture as we would be. I don’t think so. The beginning of the story is evidence that the conductor had not thought about this story for a very long time. Her ending and analysis of this story is far different than one might imagine. Susanne’s self-analysis puts more emphasis on her own perceived mistake rather than the incident. In her assessment, the incident occurred because of what she was feeling at the time, and the incident occurred because she is a woman. In her opinion, women are more apt to give the response that she gave, whereas “a man would never have done that.” In fact, Susanne is so confident of this disparity between men and women conductors that she proposes that the entire incident would not have occurred had it not been for her gender. That is, as a conductor, she would never have “lost her cool” on the podium if she had been a man, because, in Susanne’s opinion, men do not allow themselves to be sensitive or aware of subtleties that occur in the context of an ensemble working together — subtleties that can be easily misinterpreted. Implicit in this story is the suggestion that the reason for problems or issues of gender in the field of choral conducting are not due to the relationships between men and women. Instead, the problems exist because women misinterpret their own realities: “I THINK, gosh I hadn’t even thought about this until we started saying it, I think we are (pause) sensitive about it — maybe overly sensitive about it” (Susanne). 131 The following excerpt from my interview with Susanne further illustrates her way of defining men in opposition to women: Susanne: He is TOTALLY without an ego. I’ve never seen that before. I mean most of us have to have something to protect ourselves. He has nothing to protect himself. I guess he doesn’t need protecting - ‘cause he’s a MEGA TALENT. Mega talent. Janet: That’s an interesting way to put that - he doesn’t need protecting. Susanne: He doesn’t have to protect himself. He doesn’t have anything to hide, or he doesn’t (pause) Janet, it’s unbelievable, it’s unreal in the real meaning of unreal. I’ve never (pause) I’ve never come across anything quite like it, with his phenomenal gift of language and metaphor and humour. But he doesn’t, he doesn’t just tell stories, he doesn’t get up there and do anecdotes and talk about what he did that morning. Everything that he says is geared to how to make the next phrase better. (Susanne) Susanne’s description of her colleague, another professional conductor, is in direct comparison with other choral and orchestral conductors, both men and women. However, given Susanne’s reference to the way in which some men act on the podium, these comments take on a gendered tone. Earlier, she described and compared men and women on the podium, whereby men can “get away with” joking around and women certainly cannot get away with this. That is, Susanne is exploring the unique qualities of a particular conductor that set him apart from other men conductors and, in this way, more specifically compares him with women conductors. 132 Susanne’s comparison with “most of us” needing protection suggests that other conductors are weaker and somehow not as advanced as this particular conductor is. She further implies that most of us require pronounced and extensively developed egos to protect ourselves. The extent to which Susanne includes other conductors when she refers to “most of us” is unclear. At a basic level of understanding, I assume that Susanne refers to other choral conductors and perhaps more specifically, other women choral conductors, including myself. In addition, that from which we need protection is nOt named. However, Susanne’s previous comments provide clarity in her self-perception of women choral conductors. By stating that which he is not, she states that which she (and “most of us”) is - clearly lacking in a phenomenal gift of language, metaphor, and humility. The following excerpt from my interview with Susanne is found elsewhere in my study; however, this particular excerpt bears further relevance here in the discussion of needing protection, and is repeated for the purpose of comparative illustration: I was just a little bit intimidated by him. He was the way he was, to protect himself in many ways, and, I can appreciate that now (laughs) and understand it. I think you’re out there all over the place; you just have nothing left to yourself. (Susanne) The conductor to whom Susanne refers used intimidation to protect himself. Susanne, In her current professional position, now understands the need to protect herself. Yet, at the same time, this lack of needing protection is now what 133 she finds most admirable in another conductor. The “mega talent” of this other conductor additionally transfers to needing no protection for the self and is, perhaps, the most admirable and enviable for Susanne. She describes further the unique qualities of the “mega” talented conductor: He must have been burned with choral directors he worked with in the past and now he always defers to [choral conductor] who prepares the adult choirs and they all work as such a team — the children’s choir director, the adult choir director, the orchestral director, the management - there’s no hierarchy to this team. They all work together. THAT is UNHEARD of in any other place on the universe, I’m sure. So that was a great learning experience for me. (Susanne) In describing the manner in which this conductor relates to other professionals around him, Susanne begins to draw parallels between this context and the context in which she relates to other women choral conductors: I think women have supported each other and cling to each other but, you know, I met [Name of Woman Conductor] twenty years ago and it makes life so much easier when you have people to talk to about mutual problems. I’ve known [Name of Woman Conductor] forever, and [Name of Woman Conductor] and [Name of Woman Conductor], [Name of Woman Conductor] - this incredible family of strong women conductors that are so supportive of each other. That’s very special and there must be some sort of gender-related issue here. I haven’t felt the same way to (pause) men as I have with this (slight pause) congregation of (pause) women. And 134 they are supportive and, they are nurturing, and they are understanding and because they experienced the same things you do it’s, it’s a very special network of people, very important to have that. (Susanne) This statement defines, for Susanne, what it means to be a woman choral conductor. She suggests a clear difference between men and women in how they support one another and relate to each other. Susanne alludes to this difference in her previous comments in describing her male choral conductor colleague, but these comments clarify her position. Like her male colleague, these women are working together and they are supportive of each other in the process. There is no hierarchy in this team either. A congregation of women suggests a physical communal gathering or assembly of women. In reality, this gathering does not take place in a physical sense, as physical distance separates the named women conductors. Therefore the congregation that Susanne describes refers to an emotional, spiritual sense of belonging together and of being able to “gather” together in emotional and spiritual solidarity as a team when need arises. She elaborates: To have these people in your life, many of them, twelve of them, (slight pause) it feeds your soul...the men in (slight pause) doing (slight pause) they’re just not the same. There isn’t a network, there isn’t a (pause) I wouldn’t call [Name of Man Conductor] with a problem. But I would call [Name of Woman Conductor] or [Name of Woman Conductor] about it. I don’t know whether that’s my problem, or, I suspect, I know what the response would be from [Name of Women Conductors]. It would be 135 different from [Name of Man Conductor]. Is that because of [him] or is that because of my conditioning, or is it because of past experiences?...Maybe women have this more than men — it is an absolute necessity to have an army of people around you that work well together ...none of us can be islands, we all need other people around us. Maybe women do that better than men. (Susanne) Is it a question of women doing this “better" than men? Alternatively, is it a question of women finding it necessary to create their own communities of support? Susanne has already admitted that she does not feel the same kind of closeness, bonding, or solidarity with her male colleagues as she does with her female colleagues. If this is the case, then the need for creating a community in which one feels safe, accepted and an integral part of the whole is vital. Members of a society commonly seek some form of acceptance within a community as a necessary part of belonging to that community. As Susanne asserts, “to have these people in your life...it feeds your soul.” Susanne described current family support that she receives as part of the “unique relationship” she shares with her husband. Without this support, she is admittedly unsure as to how she could fully negotiate the stress and the demands of her chosen professional career in choral conducting. She focused on this aspect of her personal life when describing the influences of her family on her present successful career: People are ALWAYS saying how lucky I am to be married to someone who cooks the meals, who does the shopping, picks up the dry cleaning, 136 hires the cleaning lady and even makes sure that’s done. If it were the REVERSE, if he were the conductor and l was doing all those things, I mean, people would not make an issue of things, how lucky you are to have this person in this role . . . There is no QUESTION that it would be IMPOSSIBLE for me to do this job without this phenomenal support of the domestic part. (Susanne) As this was the only story told from a current context of familial support, it is notably distinct. Explicit in this descriptive account of domestic responsibilities is an acknowledgement of the reversal of traditionally gendered roles. The conductor, while praising the domestic support of her husband, admonishes the traditional societal norms that pervade our perception of acceptable support systems in family structures. If she reversed those roles, her personal support of a professional spouse would largely go unnoticed by the public; in fact, society would consider her domestic role a normal expectation. His domestic role and support is a noteworthy exception, and an essential component of her self- perception. Karen ’3 Story: Resistance to Gender In fact, I’m always a little bit annoyed when people want to pigeonhole you into a role of anything - whether you’re a female conductor or pianist - why can’t you just be a musician? I always just put down musician. And, I always think, “oh, am I really a musician? Or, am I going to be condemned for (laughing) falsely putting myself fonrvard as a musician?” 137 But I think that you can just be a musician. And for myself, I never think of myself as a female conductor and NEVER, NEVER! (Karen) Karen resisted and, at the same time, regrettably acknowledged the notion that being a woman choral conductor held special meaning for her personally. Perhaps this resistance is due to the aforementioned negative labelling of women conductors that Celia described in her story, found earlier in this chapter. The perception of women that are too demanding earns them the negative “bitch” label. This labelling occurs more easily when gender defines one’s role within the profession. Karen is quite adamant in her self-defining role as a musician as opposed to a woman choral conductor, the focus of my study. She makes this interesting distinction, particularly given that I made no prior comment or allusions to this type of comparative distinction in the premise of my study. Karen’s comments are assumptions made in light of the aforementioned perception of women perceiving that they play a lesser role than men have as choral conductors.4 Although Karen never offers a characterizing definition of a woman choral conductor, she has a tacit understanding that the definition is a negative one. This is clear in the strongly emphasized expression of her personal frustration with the gender label that I presented for her in the interview questions. Perhaps the most revealing and informative part of Karen’s story is the change of tone that her narrative adopts partway through, as she recognizes with ‘ Recall Susanne’s comments of women needing to be more professional, or Celia’s perception of needing to follow the model of a male conductor in her early years of formal instruction. 138 some perceived reluctance that others will more easily label her according to her genden ALTHOUGH, l have to recognize that (slight pause) other people do [think of me as a female conductor]. And, I have been in situations where I KNOW I’ve been discriminated against because of that fact. Well, either because of the fact that I’m a female conductor or the fact that I’m a choral conductor, and I can never figure out what is the discrimination - especially if it’s, if I’m with an orchestra who takes a little while to come around. (Karen) Karen carefully positions her acknowledgement of gender discrimination with her comparison of orchestral and choral conductors, thereby creating the possibility for negating specific gender discrimination: l was conducting a [choral-orchestral] concert, I had VERY LIMITED time to put things together and the players were noticeably watching the concertmaster instead of me, and the concertmaster was not giving me the time of day, he was not looking up, nothing. He was being really terrible, and I think I just had two rehearsals. So before the second rehearsal, I just took the concertmaster, I said, “I need you to come with me on a little walk” And I said, “what’s the problem because, you know, I need your help here, you’re not" — I just put it right to him and I said, ”I don’t care what your problem is” I said, “right now, I’m the conductor and you’ll have to go with what I do, we don’t have time for this foolishness.” And he really bucked up and everybody - it turned around again. But I had 139 to sort of stand up for that. But I don’t know if that’s because I was a woman or a choral conductor whom they don’t respect. (Karen) This conductor expresses her confusion in determining the reason for the discrimination in this story. Karen considers choral conducting as the “Other” of conducting. Therefore, Karen is not sure whether to tell her story from the perspective of a woman on the podium or of a choral conductor on the orchestral podium. She is pleased that she was able to take care of the matter herself. Indeed, in that particular context, she solved the problem. However, Karen’s story continues: Now, the same CHOIR who I worked with on that VERY same occasion also, ...I walked in and I had just come from rehearsal the night before with my own choir - the two choirs were joining together, this was in another city And I had the most wonderful rehearsal of my life with my own choir and then the next night I flew out to the other city and had this rehearsal with the other choir. Well I went from being on top of the world to this other choir didn’t know the notes and, AND the basses...they just basically crossed their, their legs and sat back and crossed their arms and basically, (mimicking voice) “make me sing”. Now they usually work with a male conductor. And I’m going in expecting the same level I just left with my own choir - foolishly ‘cause I shouldn’t have expected that. But they definitely had some problem because I went in with great, great humour and all ready to go and all of a sudden I met a wall. Now what was that? I don’t know. I don’t know what that wall was. Was it because I was a 140 woman? I don’t know (pause) ...I think it might just be that...the choir was not prepared so that could have been it where I was expecting them at a higher level than they were. Did my frustration show? I don’t know. It might have when I started to work and get down to brass tacks and actually learn the notes and everything. I had to go so quickly, maybe they weren’t used to that, CERTAINLY they weren’t used to that speed ‘Cause I work very quickly. I don’t know whether it was because I was a woman but there was definitely a make me sing attitude ...it’s happened a few times when I go out. (laughter) I shouldn’t go out and conduct anybody else. I’ve decided that I’ll just stick with my own group (laughter) (Karen) This experience was more surprising for Karen than her prior experience with the orchestra for the same event. Working with a choir, Karen apparently had assumed that they would respect her and that she would quickly realize her expectations for the quality of this event. In contrast, she had almost expected the discriminatory behaviour and reactions from the orchestra. Karen’s negative experiences with the choir also suggest that the challenges of rehearsal strategies may be reflective of traditional, gendered perspectives. O’Toole (1993) promotes a feminist choral pedagogical practice ' that enables the decision-making voices of the choral singers, not just the choral conductor. Karen reflected on her relationships with the members of her own ensemble, in a manner that suggests a discomfort with current feminist pedagogical practices: 141 You’ve got to be careful, too, because you have got to maintain a wall, you have to have a professional (slight pause) you’ve got to have something between you as well. Because you are still the person who has to make the decisions as much as you might ask, welcome questions or opinions or whatever, which I do, I try to stay open, certainly I welcome questions all the time, well not at dress rehearsals. (laughter) But, you still have to maintain a professional distance. That is something I really feel strongly about. And you can’t be totally (pause) bosom buddies with anybody in your choir, you just can’t. ‘Cause you have to decide for the good of the group, whether they’re to remain or that it might have to happen that you ask one of them to leave. And, that’s tough...But, you have to keep that distance. (Karen) Karen feels it is necessary to keep her personal relationships in check for decision-making reasons. Feminist research in this area suggests that this practice, in fact, isa male model and serves only to silence women as choir members. O’Toole (1993) cautions that a conventional rehearsal model promotes inherent power relationships - the same power relationship that Karen desires to protect. As well, a conventional rehearsal model only serves the music, and does not serve the individuals involved in making the music. O’Toole (1993) explains: The relationships among director and choir members are...complex ...Singers are not passive victims; they willingly enter into a position that is, by the conventions of choral pedagogy, subordinate. Singers do not possess the ability to subvert the authority lent to the director. Similarly, 142 directors are trapped by the conventions of choral pedagogy. Their role is rigidly defined by the system of rules created by the institution of music and the expectations of singers. (p. 75) If feminist research suggests that conventional models of choral pedagogy are questionable, than rehearsal models of women choral conductors ought to come under examination. Dismissing Gender Labels: Enacted Issues At times, it was evident that gender issues, and gender bias in particular, was not something that the women conductors felt or experienced on an ongoing, regular basis. For the most part, they wished not to dwell on these negative aspects of their experiences. For example, Karen rarely found ways to highlight gender issues within her stories and frequently sidestepped the questions that specifically dealt with her perceptions of gender bias.5 The following transcript excerpt from the interview with Karen exemplifies this practice of avoiding the gender question: Karen: You want to just talk about the gender issues up to there? Janet: I’d love to... Karen: Well, I’m not sure I can say much, but I’ll do what I can. [Completely changing subject] Okay, I just have a couple of other things I want to say about [Name of Mentor] and his rehearsal practices... 5 I specifically asked Karen at three separate points in the interview session to comment on her perceived gender issues in her current professional career, and each time she negatively responded to the questions and dismissed the notion that her gender is an issue in the choral profession. 143 While Karen ultimately avoids answering the question, it is at her own insistence to overtly pursue the topic at this point in the interview. That is, Karen asked if I wanted to talk about the gender issues within her stories thus far. Clearly, she understands the premise of the research questions and the purpose for the interview, and, yet, is unable to articulate any issues that she herself can identify. The clear resistance to acknowledge a gendered label was a subtle permeation throughout each of the interviews for my study, as is evident in Celia’s argument “it there is such a thing [as a woman conductor].” Each of the participants seemed somewhat hesitant to label herself as a woman conductor, as though there is a negative connotation implicit in that descriptor. For the most part, the participants had no desire to make a distinction between conductors who are men and conductors who are women: Men aren’t defined by gender - only women. Only women. We only say, “it’s a FEMALE conductor,” we never say that - “MALE conductor” or “BLACK conductor” rather than a conductor. (Celia) Celia is strongly articulate in her desire to negate the woman conductor label, as if this is portraying a lesser role within the profession. The underlying assumption is that there is general dissatisfaction with highlighting gender within the profession of choral conducting. As well, this suggests that gender plays no role when men are involved, at least not in the sense that labels occur. Conductors should be “conductors” regardless of their gender. This is definitively how Celia would like others to perceive her within, the professional world of choral conducting. She questions the term “woman conductor” as though gender has no 144 bearing on how she approaches the art of choral directing. Perhaps gender has no bearing on the technical or artistic part of choral conducting. For Susanne, the question of gender was initially difficult to comprehend: “That’s a hard question to answer. In my heart, Janet, I feel that it doesn’t matter whether I’m a woman or not” (Susanne). However, gender indubitably has a defined role to play in exploring unique ways of contributing to our society and, therefore, to the professional world of choral directing. Not everyone understands or accepts this suggestion. O’Toole (1998) attributes this to our current North American societal viewpoints: “Whether or not one personally subscribes to these [gender] differences, there is ovenrvhelming evidence to suggest that society constructs gender differences based on the constraining notion that men should be masculine and women feminine” (O’Toole, 1998, p. 9). Penner (1998) agrees: “The social structures we live in have different messages for male and female bodies. We are raised to live in the world as gendered people” (p. 11). The reasons for not wanting to identify the distinctiveness with women conductors are not readily apparent. Perhaps what is apparent is the need to question the origins of this prevailing attitude, and to investigate whether this attitude is rooted in societal, cultural beliefs or generational realities. When the women conductors did acknowledge their gender differences in the choral professional world, they felt strongly about wanting to contribute in the best possible way, and to somehow distinguish themselves from other conductors, male or female. 145 The Engendering of Choral Conductors Susanne believes that certain differences in professional practice exist when working in an orchestral context rather than a choral context, regardless of the conductor’s gender: Orchestras are probably far different from choirs - I don’t think it would ever be an issue with a choir. Orchestras always try and test you. Some trumpet player will always say (mimicking voice) “Is that a b natural or a b flat” or some stupid thing, but, I would think they probably test men too. (Susanne) In this case, gender may not cause the discriminatory behaviour and negative reaction; rather, it is the discrimination of choral (other) conductors. This notion of choral conducting being the “other" of conducting sometimes intertwines with gender issues. Celia highlights this fact: AND they automatically make the assumption that the chair I hold is in CHORAL conducting and it isn’t. It is a chair in conducting. But because it’s associated with a woman, they say “CHORAL” conducting. (Celia) In this story, the conductor herself is making the discrimination between choral conducting (other) and conducting. As a young professional choral conductor, I make a conscious effort to describe my profession and myself as a choral conductor. I am proud of my accomplishments as a choral conductor, and I want recognition for this. From where does this discrimination of orChestral conductors 146 over choral conductors, come? How does this discrimination entangle with gender discrimination? Gender Differences as Physical Stereotypes Karen agrees that socially constructed gender differences are evident in the field of choral Conducting: You’ll see it as much as I will see it that you’ll see a striking, very good looking tall young man coming out of, or even a Bachelor’s program, at a very elementary stage of conducting, they will state, (mimicking voice) “I’m a conductor.” Everybody believes them because somehow they look like a Conductor. So those GUYS go right through, and get their doctorate and go teach at university - that scares me to death. . .l’m scared to death those people are teaching young people conducting. Those people know nothing about conducting. Except - they've put themselves in the position and they look the part! (Karen) Karen finds gender bias in the physical sense of looking the part and being able to play the stereotyped role of a conductor. A conductor’s gender not only makes him or her more believable in the role that he or she plays. Young men with recognizable stature in height and physical beauty “somehow...look like a conductor.” Gender clearly played a role in the mind of Celia’s audience members who took the time to comment on her attire and feminine presence on the conductor’s podium: 147 I remember, people coming back, DASHING back stage in the early conducting days of my life and saying, “Oh, my goodness, you’re the first R-r-really feminine conductor we’ve ever seen.” (Celia) There are numerous defined gender differences in music, and perceived notions of femininity affect the entire meaning of the musical performance itself. Green (1994) explains: Music delineates gender in a variety of ways, according to the gender of the performer and/or the composer, in combination with the music’s style, ’ its historical context, and the subject-position of the Iistener...When music delineates femininity through a female performer or composer, we are liable to also judge the handling of inherent meanings by that performer or composer in terms of our idea of that femininity. It is not that there is anything feminine about the inherent meanings, but that the idea of femininity filters our response to them. (p. 102) In contrast, VanWeelden’s (2002) study does not necessarily concur with the above research findings. In a study designed to examine the relationships between one aspect of a conductor’s physical appearance (body type) and other’s perceptions of conductor effectiveness and ensemble performance, the author concluded that body type did not influence the performance ratings, and neither did the conductor's gender or major (choral or instrumental). These results differed from earlier research.6 148 Ownership, acknowledgment and celebration of gender: Articulated issues The conductors did not always avoid the gender question. At times, issues of gender became articulated, rather than enacted in our conversations together. For example, it was apparent that Celia had dealt personally with issues of gender and had a clear understanding of how she was going to acknowledge and continue to flourish in her present career goals in a gender-biased context. I didn’t want to really acknowledge gender bias. I didn’t acknowledge it until I was almost forty years old. That it did exist. But (slight pause) when I did, it hurt me deeply and I had to do a lot of healing and a lot of spiritual, emotional work to come through it in a way that I felt I could continue to be who I was, doing what I was doing...l made a big decision to (slight pause) acknowledge it but learn how to smile throughout the pain and learn how to go beyond it. It can work that way for years. (Celia) For Celia, the realization that gender has been a “problem” in her career and life experiences came at a time when a certain moment defined by her gender was long past. Acknowledging gender bias was painfully difficult and undesirable, yet necessary for moving forward. The healing process that Celia describes substantiates her pain. Her story suggests many feelings and understandings that she does not name. It is evident that she has already dealt with the particular emotions of these experiences and perhaps she does not want to share all of theSe details. For her, the most important aspect of this healing process has been in her learning how to acknowledge and ultimately move 6 For this study, 163 participants from six different universities listened to the same audio excerpt conducted by six different women conductors with two different body types (thin body build and 149 forward from painful experiences. Continuing to be who she is as a woman conductor is equally as important and her validation in her work is something that she feels she has comfortably achieved. What it means to me to be a woman conductor, if there is such a thing, is that I want to be aware of who I am and I want to be able to explore that fully and I want to celebrate those ways that I can make a unique contribution from my gender. I want to be able to make a contribution not only as a musician but as a FEMALE musician. (Celia) A dichotomy of ideas and perceptions exist. On the one hand, Celia dismisses the gender label; and alternatively, she wants to use the gender label as a guide to furthering choral music and choral music education, particularly in the education of her own students as future choral conductors. This is an important realization that could lead to significant changes in how society incorporates discussions and descriptions of gender into the professional realm. Celia credits the influential women of her musical past with her acknowledgement and celebration of her gender: With those female influences I think THAT background helped me to have an IMAGE of, and plus my mother and my earlier teachers, helped me to have an image that I was a CONDUCTOR! And that I was a FEMALE conductor! (laughter) (Celia) While Celia appeared to be pleased with this image, she elsewhere showed resistance to the gender label, and found many parallels in her experiences with the negative labelling of women choral conductors and the negative labelling of large body build) and evaluated the performances. The evaluators were male and female. 150 conductors as either choral or instrumental. As an example of this negativity, she related an important story from her mentor’s gendered experiences: [Name of Mentor’s] WHOLE LIFE goal was to become an orchestral conductor, but of course, they told her that if she wanted a career in conducting at [Name of University] where she was a student that she would have to be a CHORAL conductor. And so, she then mastered the choral instrument and established one of the finest symphonic choruses in the world. And I had that model. (Celia) There is cause for celebration in this story. While Celia's mentor experienced disappointment and frustration with not pursuing her life’s goal, historians regard her as a prominent, successful woman conductor. Indeed, Celia’s mentor was a role model for many aspiring choral conductors, both men and women (Lawson, 1984). Learning to celebrate gender rather than dismiss or try to overcome historical and stereotypical perceptions of gender may lead to greater contributions to our society that are unique and unmistakable in their gendered identity. Celia articulates how women might make a unique contribution to the arts in general: I really think the woman’s voice in all aspects of society can be a very healing voice in politics, in art, in education and I simply don’t think we’ve had a sufficient critical mass, particularly in the arts, to know what the impact of women doing this work would be on society in general. (Celia) 151 Celia’s argument is that the number of women in the arts has not compared favourably to the number of men, as historically, men have dominated the arts. In music education, the beginnings of change are evident, but not yet to the extent where women’s unique contributions affect society in general.7 Although an advocate for women bringing a unique contribution to choral music education, Celia struggles with gender labels and identity as a means to promoting that unique voice: ~ If women continue to just be the voice that they’ve been taught to be...instead of trying to Real-l-l-l-Iy be true to their uniqueness, instead of being true to the party line which is mostly the male line. Then we are true to our uniqueness. Then we can inspire young women to do the same and before you know it, I think that we Will just have CONDUCTORS rather than WOMEN conductors. Because to be a [woman] conductor doesn’t mean to act like a man on the podium! Being a woman means to be WHO YOU ARE in what you do and to be allowed to be WHO YOU ARE in what you do. (Celia) Again, the negative connotations with the term “woman conductor" are prevalent throughout this statement, and there is a contradiction in how women should consider themselves as a conductor. On the surface, it appears that Celia is contradicting herself by suggesting that women conductors need to be a unique voice and presence within the profession at the same time elevating 7 Jackson (1998) reports that the number of women band directors has increased in recent years, and VanWeeldon (2003) reports a 2:1 ratio for men and women in music education. This ratio is an average among all levels of education, with 85% women at the preschool levels, 79% women 152 themselves to a position whereby they are “more” than women conductors, they are unlabelled, generic “conductors.”8 This warrants a deeper reading into these statements. At present, women conductors are often distinctive simply because they are not men. That is, the unique voice of a woman conductor remains silent and through its silence, does not allow that woman to become a conductor in her own right. When women conductors are “true” to their unique voice, they will inspire other young women to be the same and realize a new conception of choral conducting. Implicit in this is that the unique voice of a woman is unique to that individual woman as well. This is why women conductors will become “conductors” — there will be no unifying characteristic to categorize all in one manner. Celia comments on how she might begin to work through these issues in choral music education: I made that commitment. . .that the way I would work out my FRUSTRATIONS . . . was by mentoring brilliant women...by identifying and doing whatever I could to be an advocate for the next generation of women conductors. Now, interestingly enough, that doesn’t mean that everybody that I mentor is a woman. And I try very hard to do the same kind of work that I do with women with MEN. (Celia)9 at the elementary school level, 66% at the middle school level, 56% women at the high school level, and 45% women at a post secondary school level. 3 Refer to Chapter 6 Conclusions for more discussion and suggestions for further research on this nofion. 9 Mentoring young choral conductors (men and women) warrants further discussion resulting from my study. Chapter 8 refers to this suggestion for further research. 153 Celia believes that gender should not be used to categorize nor to stereotype; rather, gender should play a roll in helping young conductors to discover their unique qualities whether they are, men or women. However, she has channelled her commitment to discovering unique qualities in women choral conductors into a pedagogical value and a constructive instrument for mentoring young women and men in the choral profession. For her, to be a woman conductor means to be her true self, to mentor young women and to help men “know more about their feminine side and the potential of the female voice.” (Celia) Susanne has found her gender to be a favourable asset in her own professional conducting situations. She explains: I suppose my situation, Janet, is different from (pause) someone who would be working with an adult choir because (slight pause) most of the children’s choir conductors are women, aren’t they?...l think it’s probably easier for a woman with young children’s choirs to model the sound and clearly, in early training choirs, the children need someone to model the sound initially...A man would not produce the same quality of sound that I do likely and perhaps would find it more difficult to get the beauty of sound that I am able to get...That’s a gender issue, isn’t it? (Susanne) Susanne, in working with children, holds a historically socially acceptable place for women (Eaklor, 1994). She understands this as a means of explaining why she may not experience or perceive issues of gender to the same degree as other women choral conductors may. However, by Susanne’s own admission, her teaching of children is at an advantage because of her gender. She thinks it 154 is “easier" for a woman to be training young children to sing, to model the choral tone that she desires. For Susanne, this becomes an issue of her gender, because a man would find it “more difficult to get the beauty of sound that I am able to get.” Susanne’s understanding of her role and her positive self-image provides an explanation and a valid reason for women’s acceptance and valued positioning in choral music education at an elementary level. Perhaps other women in elementary music education need to realize the benefits of their role in this pedagogical manner, thereby increasing their own levels of self-image within the profession. Susanne appears to be comfortable and secure in her position. She does not need to work towards gaining a supposedly higher position in the choral profession; rather, her work with young children is already fulfilling that need. Negotiating Gender, Self-Image, and Philosophical Goals Acknowledging and articulating gender bias or gender issues sometimes occurred unexpectedly in the moments of our interview session. During our conversation, Susanne recalled a forgotten and “buried” story that made its way to the surface of her memory: When I was the [Name of Choir] Assistant Conductor and worked with [Name of Conductor]...l was not ready to do that role. I should not have accepted it; I just was not ready to take on that repertoire at that time. I (pause) guess, in those weeks we worked together I certainly felt (pause) inadequate as a conductor and (slight pause) couldn’t (pause) If [Name of 155 Conductor] had been a (slight pause) someone else, had been [Name of Another Conductor] or someone other than a man I would have been able to deal with the problem much more easily than the way it was dealt with. And, certainly the element of gender was a strong part of my inadequacies and certainly made to feel (slight pause) that way...And I, I just (slight pause) I wasn’t ready, it was a mistake to take it. It was (slight pause) an unhappy experience for me. And gender played a large role (pause). Funny, if it had been a woman, I would have, or [Name of Another Conductor] or anyone, I would have [asked questions]: “How do I do this? How do we do this? What should I be looking for here?” But, I wasn’t able to approach it or (pause) I should have said “no” and I should not have been there. But, I learned a lot in those weeks. (Susanne) This story further substantiates the claim that gender bias is sometimes difficult to recognize, realize, and acknowledge. Susanne’s story is ultimately a remembrance of feeling inadequate for the situation. Susanne feels a definite disconnection between herself and the other, male conductor. She blames herself for the way in which this scenario played itself out over thirty years ago. She acknowledges a different time, a different era and sociological frame of mind; but primarily, she acknowledges that the experience was unhappy because she was not comfortable asking the questions that needed to be asked. Susanne found discomfort in the awkward relationship of her working environment. She clearly states that if the relationship had involved two women, or “someone other than a man,” this experience would have been different. Susanne does not 156 merely speculate on the fact that the situation might have been different; rather, she concludes that it would have been different and she would have asked the specific questions that she feels held her back from the potential for a positive learning experience. For Susanne, this was a valuable Ieaming experience, albeit a negative one. Throughout our conversation together, Karen often deflected her musical success to others - to her mentors, teachers, and the former conductor of her present choir.10 I was told a lot, I had big shoes to fill and I tried to say, and I said often, “I certainly do have big shoes to fill, but [I] hope to make some footsteps of my own as well.” Not just to fill shoes, that’s not the point of the job, but to create things for the future. (Karen) Unfortunately, there is little opportunity for Karen to prove herself and her own abilities in a new capacity. She is “warned” of having to live up to standards that have previously been set. Filling the shoes of those that have gone before her would certainly limit her in furthering her own self-image. I believe that Karen recognizes that there is more to her work than simply continuing the work of others; however, there was little evidence of this in our conversation together. Working with both [Name of Mentor] and [Name of Mentor], I think that I really found working with both, they both had an ability to... make me or give me the desire or whatever, to break through....certainly to do my best ‘° Much of the interview transcripts reveal that Karen appeared more interested (and confident) in relating the remarkable successes and brilliant teaching of her mentors and former teachers than speaking of her own work as a conductor. That is, most of the conversation centred on Karen as a student, not as a professional. 157 — always. But also, to come up to a level that was much higher than I believed I could do. Recognizing the inspiring work and influence of teachers and mentors is important. Karen takes this beyond simple recognition, as she appears to validate her own success and her high level of musicianship through the example of their teaching methodologies.11 Teachers are unable to force their students to achieve their highest potential; rather, as mentioned elsewhere in my study, teachers and mentors help create musical self-awareness in others.12 This discussion is significant in this part of the study, because this is how Karen perceives herself as a woman choral conductor. Karen is a successful musician with a high level of musicianship in her own right, not only because of the work of her teachers. However, Karen’s persistent deflection of her success to the work of others narrowly defines her self-image. Perhaps this was a major component of Karen’s music education, since she also described one of her male mentors in a similar manner (that is, as one who deflects his success to others): His tremendous humility and lack of ego - that had a tremendous impact on me as well. To find out that you could bethe best, but you could still have humility. I mean, there he is - tremendous, tremendous musician and everything that goes with it. But he HAS no ego. He deflects it to other people. All the time, deflects (slight pause) to other people, which is incredible. (Karen) 1‘ Chapter 4 also mentions this, under the heading, “Our lessons together were exercises in joy.” ‘2 Please refer to Chapter 4, under the heading, “An extremely defining moment.” 158 Karen’s description contains a strong assertion for her mentor’s high level of humility, as though this is a surprising characteristic to encounter in this profession. Karen’s emphasis reveals a strong sense that she particularly values this characteristic and perhaps desires the ability to emulate this in her own behaviour. Why is “lack of ego” a noteworthy characteristic for a conductor? Is it noteworthy for a conductor, or is it noteworthy because these conductors are men? Karen further commented on music, conducting, and egos: Some men I think [are] not so shy about their egos. I think women tend to question more, (pause) I think women, it’s tough to say this without making generalizations, but I think there’s more depth of compassion and understanding of human nature and (slight pause) there’s so many things that women see, I think, that’s not part of, usually of, men’s egos...The music is always first there’s no room for ego. (Karen) This was the only acknowledgment of gender differences and gendered qualities in the practice of chOral conducting that Karen made in defining herself as a woman choral conductor. It is not a direct definition; rather, she generalizes about women, and assumingly, about herself. For Karen, her description and image of herself as a choral conductor links directly to the quality of her work and professional efforts: And I think it’s important that I’m just doing the best job I can with the choirs l have and that’s what I’m trying to do... if we’re all doing that all 159 around the world or all around the country, then we’re creating really good things for society. (Karen) If the narratives offered thus far provide examples of how gender issues have been recognizably present in shaping the definition of women choral conductors, then it is possible to suggest that issues of gender may somehow influence one’s self-image: And if you’re more exploratory, and experimental and inclusive in your decision making, you should be able to get in front...and BE whoever you are with that...professional choir rather than to have to act a certain way because of gender restrictions. So, the more we grew, the more we are OURSELVES — whatever that means. Men can be men; women can be women. We can all be who we are - the more everyone has the potential to be on the podium for the right reasons. (Celia) Celia’s self-image is true to her definition of a woman choral conductor - one who is exploratory, experimental, and inclusive. These characteristics do not restrict her as a woman; rather, allow her to develop a sense of her true potential as a conductor. Celia recognized gendered qualities in her own conducting style compared with that of her former teachers and mentors. What her teachers and mentors had demonstrated did not “fit” with her own self-perception of who she was as a conductor, a teacher, and a woman. Recognizing these differences meant coming to terms with her feminine qualities and celebrating those qualities as beneficial to her, to the music making and to those around her. She describes 160 this revolutionary time of realization in her life as giving herself “permission” to be who she is, to be herself: And my personal language was SO VERY different than the male model, and l, I was just much more lnclu-u-usive and reflective in my, teaching and conducting modality and EXPERIMENTAL, . . . and so finally, I decided I just have to be WHO I AM. That didn’t occur until my forties and, in fact, I, I stopped TRYING TO BE, a conductor in the way males are conductors, because that was the only way women could be conductors, and to try and develop my own voice and give myself PERMISSION to be myself. Because no one had ever given me permission to develop my OWN qualities. They had always told me HOW to be this or HOW to be that. No one ever said, “You know, your interpersonal qualities are a good fit for you - you should use that.” No-o-o, instead I was told NOT to use my interpersonal qualities, my ability to communicate with people, to look at them, to be who I was — friendly and open and exploratory in my approach rather than didactic. So FINALLY! It occurred to me that in order to continue to do what I had to do in this life, that I wanted to do it as MYSELF. And I think that in my teaching with young conductors today, that is a very important thing — to help them, men or women, become themselves. (Celia) This was a very impassioned moment in the context of the interview session. The story told was not one that had a clear beginning or ending; rather, it was a story of remembered images from the earlier days of a beginning career. Much like a 161 collage, there were a myriad of pictures throughout this narrative. The central idea was that this conductor wanted to be true to herself in her understanding of her gender and her chosen career. The emphasis on certain words serves to heighten the emotional impression of this story. For example, the use of the pronoun, “they" in a context in which no names or identifiers had been previously provided indicates that Celia is referring to a larger context. Here, the assumption is that the conductor is referring to her former mentors and teachers; however, elsewhere in the interview session, the conductor also made reference to colleagues, students, family, and audience members. Perhaps “they" includes a much broader scope of collected individuals, and Celia is identifying herself with a certain “otherness” that exists in the field of music. The use of the word “permission” in this story/collage presents an opening for multiple interpretive comments and directions. Contemporary North American society prides itself on striving to maintain freedom and promote equal rights for every member of society. Why then, did Celia feel compelled to obtain permission from others and then to ultimately grant herself permission to develop and nurture her musical self in ways that she knew she needed to? Seeking approval for her actions and for her decisions may be, I believe, indicative of her gender - the historically submissive and passive member of society. Celia’s story/collage reflects a philosophical summary of her methodological and pedagogical approach to choral music education. Her gender influences and characterizes her philosophical perspectives. She recognizes the 162 strength in her gender attributes that inform her role as a teacher who tries to encourage the development of her students as musicians, as future choral conductors. Conclusions The women interviewed for my study made and continue to make lifelong commitments in pursuit of the musical arts. They have chosen to accept the differences and to work within certain restrictions to be a professional choral conductor. Their reasons for doing so are as varied as the stories they tell and the glimpses they offer into their personal and professional lives in choral conducting. Susanne offers one explanation for why she continues to make a commitment to music: [Music is] who you are and what you do and you can’t imagine yourself not doing it, and not having it. I would probably feel (pause) like a plant without water (slight pause) without it. It feeds me daily still (Susanne) The life stories of women choral conductors relate more than factual events; they provide a glimpse into self-perceptions and self-realizations of what it means to be a woman choral conductor. The participants of my story have shared openly about their triumphs and their frustrations. They have opened a window into their professional and private selves so that I might begin the process of in-depth exploration of gender issues in the choral profession. Their stories are unique; yet, they share some similar qualities. I am not able to generalize about any aspect of their individual lives; rather, I can only offer 163 explanation and perhaps suggest ways in which the research in this area might confinue. 164 Chapter 6 - Summary, Conclusions, and Recommendations “Each woman must refine her own artistry as a conductor so that she can be a strong example and mentor for the next generation of conductors, who wait for the baton to be passed along.” (Hetzel and Norton, 1993/94, p.38) Summary The purpose of this study was to describe the formative experiences of successful women choral directors as influenced by issues of gender. Specifically, the research questions were as follows: 1) To describe and explain the influence of past teaching, learning, and performing experiences on the current teaching practices of women choral conductors. 2) To describe and explain problematic and successful teaching, learning, and performing experiences that women choral conductors attribute to their gender. 3) To describe and explain the individual perceptions of self-image that women choral conductors attribute to their gender. I conducted individual, in-depth intenriews to gather the life stories of three exemplary women choral conductors. Each interview produced extensive transcripts with rich details from life stories including family influences, educational practice, and career experiences. In addition to interviewing three participants, I became a fourth participant in this study, and related the stories of my life experiences in an interview created from the same framework of questions that I used with the three primary participants. Drawing upon the 165 practices of narrative research methodology, I examined each set of transcripts and the narratives found within for emergent themes, paying particular attention to gender-related themes. The gathered collection of stories gave insights into the formative experiences of the participating choral conductors as well as to the issues that influenced their experiences. In the analysis of these stories, it was important to consider both articulated issues of gender and enacted issues of gender, as well as spoken and unspoken gender-related influences. Two separate chapters presented the stories in several ways. Chapter Four presented stories and examined the narratives to create a conversation centred on the conductors’ early experiences in music education, as well as the influences of family members, music teachers, and significant mentors. Chapter Five further explored the conductors’ stories, focusing on each conductor separately to relate the more comprehensive tales of self-image, self-realization, and gender issues. Conclusions and Recommendations This study invites a conversation that explores issues of gender as found within the experiences of women choral directors. In many ways, this is not a new conversation; it is an expansion of many existing conversations. Women in music have been negotiating their “place at the table” for many years, and women’s life experiences have only recently constituted legitimate knowledge for research purposes (Koza, 1993b). This study serves to contribute to the current conversation in new ways. 166 Influence of the Past Apparent throughout the stories gathered from professional women choral conductors was the profound influence of teachers, mentors, and family members on the formative experiences that they described. The influences were not gender-specific; that is, the conductors felt a profound impact resulting from the relationships they developed with both men and women. For two of the conductors in this study, their significant mentors were men. One of the conductors had women mentors and strongly believed that this attributed, in part, to her high level of confidence in her chosen professional career. This participant’s perception of the importance of her women mentors appears to support the research findings of Gould (1996), who determined that the importance of “gender-specific occupational role models” was a significant inference in the success of the women band directors identified in that study. The use of the term “role model” is analogous with the term “mentors” in my study. Gould determined that, although all of the college band directors in her study identified influential role models, they were not gender-specific. Gould reflects on reasons for this (for one, some of the participants are “pioneers” in their field), and concludes that women college band directors, that is, as gender- specific occupational role models, are an important influence for women band directors. For one participant in my study, this is congruent with her experiences. For the other two participants in my study, they identified the significant influence of their male mentors and did not regret the lack of women choral conductors as 167 female mentors in their lives. However, each participant identified significant women as influencing the professional paths she chose. These women included piano teachers, professional singers, mothers, grandmothers, and women choral music colleagues. Certainly, contemporary female role models are an important part of the life and career of the women choral conductors in this study. Celia described close, personal relationships with her female mentors. Karen and Susanne described influential and important relationships with their male mentors, yet their descriptions lacked the deeply personal, relational aspects found in Celia’s comments. I suggest that gender attributes account for the differences in these relationships, particularly given that Celia described one of her mentors as fonrvard thinking, as one who taught from a woman’s perspective, and the “light” in Celia’s student life.1 Celia’s descriptions contrast with Susanne’s description of her mentor as one who did not let the relationship get too personal as a way of protecting himself. Susanne admitted feeling shy around her mentor and somewhat intimidated by him? Karen had wonderful things to say about her mentors, but, again, with a sense that the respect for these men was due to the admiration for their high levels of musicianship and not for a personal relationship that existed. Each conductor in this study told stories that highlighted the importance of their educational experiences with their mentors. Therefore, I suggest that the influence of mentors (both women and men) on the successful experiences of women choral conductors warrants further study. In particular, the importance of 1 Celia’s descriptions of her mentors are discussed in Chapter 4 2 Susanne’s descriptions of her mentor are found in Chapter 4 of this study. 168 mentoring relationships may have implications for choral music education, perhaps focusing on establishing mentoring programs for conducting students. Further to the topic of mentors, I propose the need to examine the influence of how mentoring relationships reflect the desire and ability to become a mentor for the next generation. My stories are representative of another generation of women choral conductors - a generation for whom role models and mentors of women in music are readily accessible. One of my mentors remains a significant influence on the way in which I now mentor the students whom I teach. With this rippling effect starting to take place, I suspect that my stories and the stories of future generations will reflect the importance of women role models and mentors in choral music education. Family members, particularly mothers and grandmothers, played an important role in the formative experiences of the women choral conductors. Each participant told stories from her past in which her mother or grandmother played a significant role. Given the professional success of each of the conductors, the stories of these early influences gain a greater sense of importance. The development of musicianship appears dependent upon the nurturing of that musical knowledge, and the influence of specific family members plays a part in that nurturing process. However, for the women choral conductors in this study, the family legacy of nurturing musicianship in future generations ends with them. Their parents either sacrificed professional music careers, or simply kept music as an interesting, amateur, creative pursuit. The experiences with family support are in 169 keeping with the findings of Lehrer (1995): “Many women’s reluctance to plan a career (as distinguished from a job to earn money) reflects the reality that they are expected to fit it in around everything else in the family“ (p. 185). That is, the influential support for each conductor‘s professional musical pursuits that she received from her parents appears indicative of the fact that her mother played traditional family roles and stayed at home to raise her family. I understand the significance of my story from a similar, traditional perspective. However, the professional women choral conductors in this study did not carry on the practice of staying at home to raise families, and my story further challenges the traditional perspective. My story reflects the perspective of a contemporary , society whereby the majority of women in families with children (the so-called “nuclear family") also work outside the home and pursue professional careers (Lehrer, 1995). While the data collection did not raise the subject of familial choices (except within my own story), the potential for further study exists. From the above, I suggest that an opportunity exists for further research in the area of career decisions, professional women choral conductors, and family responsibilities. Do professional women choral conductors compromise their family life in some respects for the demands of international, high profile careers? I do not have an international professional career, yet my present family life remains central to my personal identity. Each conductor in this study (including myself) stressed the importance of past family support for her musical pursuits. However, there is no evidence to suggest that the influences from the past reflect a present reality. Furthermore, this study does not present significant realities to 170 suggest the perceived success of juggling or negotiating a professional career with family life. These reflections are the impetus for future research in this area. I also suggest a need to explore further the kinds of support systems that women choral conductors have in place in their present context. While the stories suggested an abundance of past support and encouragement from mentors and families, there were few stories to suggest support systems are in place in the present context. Only one of the conductors spoke of the household support she receives from her spouse. Susanne’s strong assertion that her success is dependent upon receiving family (spousal) support warrants further study in this area. The stories of professional women choral directors raise many questions and provide few answers. Some unspoken issues arise within the context of presenting the participant’s various experiences. These questions and issues may provide impetus for further research on the tOpic of gender and women choral conductors. Gendered Experiences A basic assumption and premise for this study is that gender encompasses and influences all experiences (Reinharz and Chase, 2003). From that perspective, I examined all stories for issues of gender, both articulated and enacted. Each participant told stories from her perspective as a woman choral conductor. At the outset, this label appeared problematic for each participant. That is, for the women in this study, the engendering of choral conductors begins 171 with the perception of the “woman” label. The conductors expressed resistance to the gender label and, at times, negated the suggestion that gender played a role in their experiences. This is similar to the findings of Moisala (1999) and her life-story research with a prominent, contemporary, Finnish woman composer: “She did not want to be a woman composer but a composer among other composers. In emphasizing the abstract character of composing she sought to neutralize the gender of her public image” (p. 13). I believe the women choral conductors of this study negated the gender label because the term “gender" automatically conjured negative images and connotations for them. They assumed that stories of gendered experiences were negative stories. I too have experienced this negative assumption when discussing the parameters of this study. Many of my colleagues, friends, and family members automatically assume that the details of this study will reveal negative, hurtful, and disparaging stories from women choral conductors. The purpose of this study was to explore experiences and stories for perceived issues of gender. There was no pre-disposition to assume that the explored issues frame either a negatively conceived inhibition or a positive promotion in the formative experiences of women choral conductors. Indeed, this study revealed references to both positive and negative references to gender. I propose that gender studies begin to approach the topic of gender from a positive perspective, rather than assuming a negative position. In this way, the 172 celebration of gender rather than the negotiation of gender will consume the lens through which we view our experiences. Women Choral Conductors on the Podium In casual conversations with others around this topic, I discovered an underlying assumption that a study on gender issues and women choral conductors would tackle the conventions of women’s appearance on the podium. Chapter Five modestly explores this topic with Karen’s story and her description of young, good-looking men who are “believable” in their self-assertion of their role as a conductor, simply based on physical appearance? However, Karen’s story takes the opposite approach than the reader may expect. Karen complains that institutions and society positively judge male conductors on their appearance, not on their merit. I find it somewhat surprising that the women conductors, for the most part, did not focus on physical appearance as a gender issue for women musicians. O’Toole (2000) suggests: It is not a new story that men and women, engaging in the same act, are judged by different standards. Men are more frequently judged on their merits or potential, and women tend to be judged on how successfully they present their femininity (i.e., clothing, hair, make-up, body shape)...a woman musician and her musicing then, are already differentiated from male musicians and his musicing. There is an anticipation of femininity in 3 See Chapter 5 for the specific reference in Karen’s story. 173 the performance that includes physical presentation as well as musical.” (9. 35) O’Toole’s statements are somewhat in keeping with my own experiences; although, I find that frequently, both merit and appearance occupy equal positions in the critical analysis of my musicianship. Karen’s story from the opposing view, Celia’s story of both admonishment (from her teachers) and praise (from the audience) for her femininity, and Susanne’s unspoken view on appearance suggest that this topic for women choral conductors needs further exploration. Each conductor in this study described experiences on the podium that were significantly uncomfortable for her, yet, often resulted with positive outcomes. In most instances, questions and difficulties arose that pertained to the perceived musical abilities of the conductor in the context of rehearsal or performance. While the outcomes were often positive, the conductor highlighted the significance of the experience for its perceived difficulties. The conductors regularly negotiated relationships with composers, with other musicians, and with their colleagues defined, in part, by their gender. I suggest that vulnerability on the podium may also play a part in these relationships. Feeling vulnerable on the podium results from negotiating our traditional leadership model from the male perspective, one that often leaves others silenced. Feminist theories and pedagogies attempt to break down the barriers created within a traditional model of choral practice that gives all leadership and performance practice responsibilities to one person, the 174 conductor, while silencing the remainder of the ensemble, the singers (O‘Toole, 1993). Are women contributing to their own feelings of vulnerability, or are women promoting a change by breaking down traditional barriers? Who is taking responsibility for fostering positive relationships in choral contexts? What are the belief systems that need questioning or examination if meaningful changes in the building of choral relationships are to take place? Enacted Versus Articulated Issues of Gender The interviews with professional women choral conductors revealed that issues of gender were sometimes difficult for them to articulate. As I was an active, interviewed participant in this study, I was able to articulate many issues of gender permeating the stories that I told. This was not necessarily the case for some of the other participants. One possible explanation for this is that I am naturally closer to the research topic than are the other three participants. l have spent countless hours of research and exploration into the areas of gender and music education. Therefore, I was familiar with and accustomed to focusing my stories through the gendered lens that I used in the analysis of all the gathered data. Similarly, Celia’s stories revealed the greatest clarity in articulating issues relevant to the topic of gender. Woven into the context of her life experiences, Celia’s stories and her self-analysis demonstrate an awareness and consciousness to the discussion of gender influences of women choral conductors that is nOt readily apparent in the conversations with Karen or 175 Susanne. Celia also appears to have a high level of self-awareness, and she portrays a self-confidence that enables her to approach the telling of her stories with apparent ease and comfort. Moisala (1999) explains the engendering and awareness of “self” within a musical context: Music is one of the first elements through which an individual perceives and begins to pattern the gendered ‘world and reality’ of his or her surroundings...the way in which the awareness of ‘self’ is constituted through music is still a little-researched area of study, although ethnomusicological literature emphasizes the central role music plays in the processes of enculturation and socialization. (p. 4) Furthermore, Celia’s formative experience with women mentors may have an impact on her ability to approach her teaching and learning experiences with a heightened awareness of her gender. hat is, Celia bore firsthand witness to the struggles of her women mentors in the professional realm of choral conducting. Her privileged knowledge is pre-disposed to issues of gender articulated and regulated by her teachers as part of her formal instruction and conducting studies. I suggest that further research in this area is most relevant with the emerging professional women conductors of my generation - that is, women in their late thirties and early forties. I perceive a need to question the ease with which I am able to articulate issues of gender, while the women of this study (representatives of the previous generation) find this analytical task more challenging. In addition, interviewing women of my generation may open further 176 conversation on models of leadership. While this study did not seek to examine the models of leadership employed by each conductor, leadership styles of women contrasted with leadership styles of men may further the conversation of gender and choral music education. Impact of the Interviews: Implications for Music Education It is reasonable to suggest that the interviews of women choral conductors and the presentation of their life stories will significantly contribute to choral music education research and the choral profession. Documenting women’s experiences in music is an important link to understanding issues of gender in music. Feminist criticism in music education is concerned, in part, with the search for equality, including gender equality. However, as Gould (2004) suggests, complete gender equality would necessitate that women become like men, and this reality may pose undesirable and problematic consequences. Feminism is more fully understood as a project designed to address issues embedded in everyday life experiences that influence or dominate all aspects of gender, race, class, and sexuality. This study focuses only on one of these areas of feminist research. In this sense, this study does not fully promote the feminist agenda or project; rather, it seeks merely to serve as a project to create further awareness for gender issues in the field of choral conducting. None of the women conductors interviewed for this study possess the desire to become like men; although, they do define themselves and understand their role as a choral conductor within the accepted male model of choral conducting. 177 For music education, this study creates spaces for conversations in music education that focuses specifically on the education of young women choral conductors. The experiences of the women choral conductors in this study may serve as educational models. While not all experiences are deemed positive throughout this study, all the experiences and stories represent valuable lessons and teachings that further enhance the understanding of choral music education. Impact of the Interviews: Personal Implications The interviews in this study were somewhat non-traditional in that they attempted to present an informal context whereby researcher/interviewer and interviewee interacted in the reality of an ongoing personal, active relationship. This active relationship allowed for empathetic listening, acknowledged identity with the participants, and a respect for the participant’s emotional and personal meanings as legitimate topics for research (Ellis and Berger, 2003). This type of interviewing practice is referred to as “reflexive dyadic interviewing” and typically involves the interviewer sharing personal experiences as a “reciprocal desire to disclose, given the intimacy of the details being shared by the interviewee” (Ellis & Berger, 2003, p. 472). The result of this type of interview is a conversation between two equals rather than a hierarchical exchange of questions and answers. Oral interviews with women are particularly valuable for uncovering women’s perspectives (Anderson and Jack, 1991). The need to consider the creation of a comfortable context for the interview is important, and the interviews 178 with women choral conductors for this study reflected this consideration. As well, the analysis of each interview allowed for a critical listening to the responses. As Anderson and Jack (1991) suggest: ‘We need to hear what women implied, suggested, and started to say but didn’t. We need to interpret their pauses and, when it happens, their unwillingness or inability to respond” (p. 17). Throughout the analysis of the interviews with women choral conductors, this unspoken interpretation and data was taken into account. Implicit in these results is the perceived impact of the interview on both interviewer and interviewee. How will these interviews influence my professional life, my personal life, or me? As I have been an active participant in this process, I need to take the experiences of the other participants and use them to further benefit my own continuing education and professional life. As well, further consideration should be taken to ensure that the stories told within this document affirm and encourage the future experiences of women choral conductors. How do these gendered experiences gain acknowledgement without the problematic perceptions and assumptions that they risk promoting? How does the music education profession view these experiences in a positive manner to further the education of others? On the Podium for the Right Reasons: “Is There a Problem?” The participants of this study told the stories of their formative experiences in becoming successful women choral conductors. Those particular conversations have ended; however, the “problem” of music and gender carries 179 on. The conversations of negotiating gender issues and celebrating women in music are active, engaging, and ongoing. Many questions remain unanswered, such as exploring the possibility for differences in teaching styles between men and women, the existence of gendered musical expression, and the possibility for gendered conducting gestures. My life story is an ongoing negotiation between my professional choices, my family responsibilities, and my own gendered identity. At various times, I am reminded of the question asked of me many years ago, the impetus for this study, “Is there a problem?” I strongly resonate with the inherent challenges in articulating an answer to this question. As the title of this study suggests, I too wish to make footsteps of my own. I believe that the conversations with choral conductors, both men and women, must continue so that the footsteps for women choral conductors and the paths that they choose on their journey become the norm, rather than lofty goals. 180 APPENDIX A 181 Appendix A Topics for Interview Questions Topic A - Description of musical background - early musical experiences - family and social influences - music education background and experiences - music teaching - influences on career decisions - memories of mentors, important personal influences, music teachers - perceived gender issues that influence above experiences Topic 8 - Description of current teaching and conducting practices - transition from past experiences to present practices - important factors that contribute to present practices - current important influences (personal and othenrvise) on career decisions - music education experiences - music performance experiences - music teaching experiences - perceived gender issues that influence above experiences Topic C - personal reflections on self perceptions - image of self as music educator and performer - image of self as female - image of self as female music educator and performer (if different from above) - image of self as attributed to perceived gender issues - image of self in relation to other influential persons - image of self in pursuing and accomplishing career goals - perceived gender issues that influence above images 182 APPENDIX B 183 Appendix B Interview Guide Topic A - Description of musical background Tell me about some of your early musical experiences as a young child. a What can you tell me about some of your greatest influences during this time? OR . Tell me about someone that had a great influence on you in your formative years c How and when did you first know that you wanted to pursue music as a career? 0 What, if any, thoughts did you have about these experiences in terms of being female? Topic B - Description of current teaching and conducting practices Tell me about the time in your life when you were just beginning your career in choral conducting . Tell me about any influential events (or persons) that have played a role in your present career . Tell me about one of your most memorable experiences as a music educator/choral director 0 What thoughts do you have about these experiences in terms of being a woman? Topic C - personal reflections on self-perceptions What does it mean to be a woman choral director? 0 Tell me about a time (or experience you've had) in your career where you felt your role/profession as a choral director was defined by your gender 184 APPENDIX C 185 Appendix C Consent Document for Participation In Research Title of Project: Gender Issues that Influence the Formative Experiences of Successful Women Choral Directors by Janet S. Brenneman for submission to Michigan State University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of: Doctor of Philosophy in Music Education Responsible Project Investigator: Dr. Cynthia Taggart, Michigan State University Secondary Investigator: Janet S. Brenneman, Canadian Mennonite University May 18, 2004 Dear Conductor; The proposed research study, “Gender Issues that Influence the Formative Experiences of Successful Women Choral Directors” seeks to document the personal experiences of professional women choral directors. In particular, the focus of this documentation will be on the perceived gender issues that influence the experiences of women choral directors. Gender studies have permeated and in some cases, dominated the research practices of many professional and academic fields, including many areas of music and music education. Most research on gender issues and women in music has focused on the areas of musicology, music education and the historical significance of the lives of women composers. Some research on gender issues for women in music has explored demographic information and personal experiences of women orchestral directors and women band directors; however, a review of the recent literature has suggested that these personal experiences, with a focus on gender issues, have not been documented for women in the field of choral conducting. This will be the focus of the present study. The specific problems suitable for further examination through the focus of this research study are as follows: 1) To describe and explain problematic and successful teaching, learning, and performing experiences that women choral directors attribute to their gender. 2) To describe and explain the influence of past teaching, learning, and performing experiences on the current teaching practices of women choral directors. 186 3) To describe and explain the individual perceptions of self-image that women choral directors attribute to their gender. Throughout this study, the concept of “gender" is defined as the “social constructedness of what maleness and femaleness means in a given culture”. (M. J. Citron, Gender and the Mufsical Canon, 1993, p. 5) The purpose of this document is to request and to obtain your consent for participation in this research project. Your participation in this study is voluntary. You may choose not to participate at all, or you may refuse to participate in certain procedures or answer certain questions or discontinue your participation at any time without penalty or loss of benefits. By collecting individual life stories of successful women choral directors, the researchers hope to gain insight into the process through which individual experiences are described, valued and informed. This research will focus on the personal narratives expressed by women choral directors through a process of personal interviews, preliminary and follow-up discussions with each participant (via electronic mail or telephone), and a process of journal writing that will allow the participant the opportunity to tell her stories before and after the scheduled interview as a means of ensuring that the complete story may be expressed. The scheduled interview will take a minimum of one to two hours and a maximum of three to four hours. The total time may be divided into two or more sessions, depending upon the participant’s schedule. All interview sessions will be recorded using an audiotape recorder. Transcripts will be made from each recorded interview, and the participant will have the opportunity to review the transcriptions to make any necessary corrections, additions and deletions. Confidentiality will be ensured throughout the data collection, recording, and storing of information. Demographic information regarding the participant will be presented in a non-identifying manner. The use of pseudonyms in the final report will further protect your privacy. Only the researchers will hear the tapes from recorded interviews and only the researchers and the participant will read the individual journal entries or other memoirs/documents provided by the participant. As well, only the researcher and the participant will see and read the transcripts from the recorded interview(s). Records of all data will be kept in the personal files of the researchers. Your privacy will be protected to the maximum extent allowable bylaw. If you have any questions about this study, please contact the Responsible Project Investigator: Cynthia Taggart, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Music 209 Music Practice Bldg 187 Michigan State University East Lansing, MI 48824 Phone: (517) 432-9678 Fax: (517)432-2880 Email: taggartc@msu.edu If you have any questions or concerns regarding your rights as a study participant, or are dissatisfied at any time with any aspect of this study, you may contact — anonymously, if you wish: Peter Vasilenko, Ph.D., Chair of the University Committee on Research Involving Human Subjects (UCRIHS) 202 Olds Hall East Lansing, MI 48824 Phone: (517) 355-2180 Fax: (517)432-4503 Email: gorihs@msu.ecLu Please indicate your response: I voluntarily agree to participate in the study. Signed: Date: I voluntarily agree to allow the researchers to audiotape the interview session(s). Signed: Date: No, I do not agree to participate in the study. Signed: Date: Please indicate your responses to the following items and return this portion of the document to Janet Brenneman by May 31, 2004. Thank you in advance for your cooperation. Sincerely, Janet S. Brenneman Assistant Professor of Music Canadian Mennonite University 500 Shaftesbury Blvd Winnipeg, Manitoba R3P 2N2 Phone: (204) 487-3300 (w) (204) 832-7547 (h) Email: ibrennemanOcmu.ca 188 APPENDIX D 189 Appendix D Transcription Notation System for Conversation Analysis Pauses Laughing Coughing, etc. Interruptions Overlapping Unclear speech Emphasis Held sounds Audible breaths (Adapted from Poland, 1995; 2003) Denote short pauses during talking by numbers in parentheses indicating the elapsed time in silence in tenths of a second. Example: (.4) A single dot in parentheses indicates a tiny gap, probably no more than one-tenth of a second. Example: (.) Indicate in parentheses, for example, (laughing) to denote one person; (laughter) to denote several laughing Indicate in parentheses, for example, (cough), (sigh), (sneeze) Indicate when someone’s speech is broken off mid-sentence by including a hyphen (-) at that point where the interruption occurs. Example: What do you - . Use square brackets [] to indicate when one speaker interjects into the speech of another, then return to where original speaker interrupted (if they continue). Example: R: He said that was impos- [I: Who, Bob?] R: No, Larry Use empty parentheses () to indicate the transcriber‘s inability to hear what was said. Parenthesized words with question marks (word?) are possible hearings. Use caps to denote strong emphasis or especially loud sounds relative to the surrounding talk. Example: he did WHAT? Repeat the sounds that are held, separated by hyphens. If they are emphasized, then capitalize as well. Example: “No- o-o-o, not exactly,” or “I was VER-r-r-y-y-y happy.” A row of h’s prefixed by a dot indicates an inbreath; without a dot, an outbreath. The length of the row of h’s indicates the length of the in — or outbreath. Example: .hhhhh 190 Intonation Indicate a speaker’s intonation through the use of punctuation. Example: .,? Paraphrasing When interviewees assume a voice that indicates they are parodying what someone else said or an inner voice in their heads, use quotation marks and/or indicate with (mimicking voice) in parentheses. R: Then you know what he came out with? He said (mimicking voice) “I’ll be damned if I’m going to let YOU push ME around.” And I thought to myself: “I’ll show you!” Descriptions Double parentheses (0) contain author’s descriptions rather than transcriptions. 191 REFERENCES 192 References Acker, S. (1994). 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