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WHY DID IT SOUND BETTER IN THE PRACTICE ROOM? A
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WHY DID IT SOUND BETTER IN THE PRACTICE ROOM?
A GUIDE TO MUSIC PERFORMANCE ANXIETY AND How TO COPE WITH IT
THROUGH JOURNAL WRITING
By

Tess Anissa Miller

A DISSERTATION

Submitted to
Michigan State University
in partial fulfillment Of the requirements
for the degree of

DOCTOR OF MUSICAL ARTS
Department of Music
2004

ABSTRACT

WHY DID IT SOUND BETTER IN THE PRACTICE ROOM?
A GUIDE TO MUSIC PERFORMANCE ANXIETY AND HOW TO COPE WITH IT
THROUGH JOURNAL WRITING

By
Tess Anissa Miller

The aim of this dissertation is to inform teachers and performers about
music performance anxiety, how it has been dealt with in the past, and to
suggest journal writing as a creative way to cope with any performance fears a
musician might have.

Part one highlights recent topics from sport and music performance
anxiety research. Music teachers and students may use this section as a way to
become aware of the issues surrounding music performance anxiety. This
immense body of research is divided into three chapters that define music
performance anxiety, discuss possible causes, and lists some of the most current
coping strategies. Part one concludes with research on the benefits of using
journal writing as a tool to cope with anxiety or any life stress of the musician.

Part two is a journaling workbook that contains writing exercises
intended to help musicians learn about themselves, cope with music
performance anxiety, and become stronger performers. There are five sections
of writing exercises, each designed to focus on one topic area (basic exercises,

personal / autobiographical, practice, achieving goals, and fears / self-doubt).

Copyright by
TESS AN ISSA MILLER
2004

Acknowledgments

I would like to extend my deepest gratitude to Dr. Anna Celenza for her
help, guidance, and for going above and beyond the call of duty throughout the
creation of this document. Her ability to keep me on track and to inspire me
each week was incredible.

Thank you to all of my doctoral committee members: Professor John
Whitwell, Dr. Bruce Taggart, Dr. Frederick Tims, Dr. Anna Celenza, and
Professor Richard Sherman. Each of you listened, supported, and helped guide
my ideas at some point along the way.

Many thanks to Rebecca Meador. She was willing to work her copy-
editing magic in a ridiculously short amount of time in conjunction with her own
wedding preparations. Her suggestions as well as her words of encouragement
to me were / are invaluable.

Words are insufficient for expressing how thankful I am to my flute
professor of ten years, Richard Sherman. His playing alone could teach me
volumes, and his ability to find one word that could effect my playing more
dramatically than ten hours of practice always left me awe-struck.

I must recognize the following friends that have each supported me in his
or her own way. Thank you to: Kirsten Thompson and Stephene Benkert,
Angela and Josh Thomas, Marie and Tonderayi Kujenga, Stephanie Krehbiel and
Eric Cook-Wiens, Mary Procopio, Carmen Maret and Andrew Bergeron, Susie
and Danilo Mezzadri, Jennifer Kennard and Dave Yehl, and Melissa and Michael
Straus. I could not have survived this process without all of the egg-head
conversation.

An enormous thank you to my parents, Sue and Bruce Miller, who still
come to all of my concerts, and also took the time to read and edit this paper!

You supplied me with roots and always encouraged me to grow into whatever it

was I wanted to become. I also want to thank my sister, Amanda Miller, for
always laughing at the same things I laught at and for unsderstanding me better
than I understand myself.

Finally, I want to thank my partner, Scott Harding, for his constant help.
His love for life and incessant Optimism always remind me what is truly

important.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

 

 

 

List of Figures ................................................................................................................. viii
Introduction- - - ................................................................................... 1
PART ONE: Introductory Study
Chapter One: Music Performance Anxiety ....................................................... 6
Defining Music Performance Anxiety .................................................... 6
Levels of Anxiety ..................................................................................... 11
Arousal Vs. Stress Vs. Anxiety .............................................................. 13
Arousal-Performance Relationship Theories ...................................... 16
Chapter Two: Causes of Music Performance Anxiety .................................. 19
Theories About MPA Causes ................................................................ 19
Organizing the Causes ........................................................................... 20
Level I: Surface Causes of MPA ................................................ 20
Level 11: Stress/ Lifes le ............................................................. 23
Level III: Personality Family .................................................... 31
Chapter Three: Coping With MPA ................................................................... 39
Who Has MPA? ....................................................................................... 39
Coping Methods ...................................................................................... 41
Behavioral Methods .................................................................... 42
Cognitive Methods ..................................................................... 45
Educational Methods .......................................... -- _ -_ ---48
Drug Treatments ......................................................................... 50
Comprehensive Methods .......................................................... 50
Journal Writing ............................................................................ 52
PART TWO: Journaling Workbook
Chapter Four: Getting Started .......................................................................... 59
What is a Journal? ................................................................................... 59
Materials ................................................................................................... 63
Where to Write? ...................................................................................... 65
How to Start? ........................................................................................... 65
Chapter Five: Basic Writing Exercises .............................................................. 69
Exercise 1: Letter Writing ..... - ...... - .72
Exercise 2: Flow Writing/ Stream of Consciousness .......................... 73
Exercise 3: Dialoguing ............................................................................. 75
Exercise 4: Listing .................................................................................... 77
Exercise 5: Reflections ............................................................................. 78
Chapter Six: Personal / Autobiographical Exercises ....................................... 80
Exercise 1: Who are you? ....................................................................... 81
Exercise 2: The Relationship You Have With Yourself ..................... 83
Exercise 3: How Do You See Yourself? ................................................ 85

Chapter Six: (Continued)

 

Exercise 4: More Lists .............................................................................. 87
Chapter Seven: Practice Journal ........................................................................ 88
Exercise 1: Focusing the Mind 1n the Practice Room ......................... 89
Exercise 2: Relaxation--- .......... 91
Exercise 3: The Practice Session ............................................................. 93
Exercise 4: Recounting Past Experiences .............................................. 95
Exercise 5: Developing a Performance Routine ................................. 97
Exercise 6: The Power of Suggestion .................................................... 98
Exercise 7: Don’ t Bite Off More Than You Can Chew ..................... 100
Exercise 8: During and After a Performance ..................................... 102
Exercise 9: More Lists ............................................................................ 103
Chapter Eight: Achieving Your Goals ............................................................ 104
Exercise 1: Your Wish is My Command ............................................ 105
Exercise 2: If Only, What If?! ................................................................ 107
Exercise 3: The Future ........................................................................... 109
Exercise 4: Obstacles .............................................................................. 110
Exercise 5: More Lists ............................................................................ 111
Chapter Nine: Fears/ Self-Doubt .................................................................... 112
Exercise 1: What Am I So Afraid Of? .................................................. 113
Exercise 2: Survival ................................................................................ 115
Exercise 3: Confronting the Worst ..................................................... 117
Exercise 4: Jealousy ............................................................................... 119
Exercise 5: Who Are Your Judges? ..................................................... 120
Exercise 6: Building Confidence Through Self-Awareness ............. 121
Exercise 7: More lists ............................................................................ 123
Epilogue .......................................................................................................................... 124
Appendices
Appendix A Symptoms of MPA Outline ....................................................... 126
Appendix B Levels of Anxiety Outline ........................................................... 127
Appendix C Figure 1: Yerkes-Dodson Inverted-U Hypothisis .................. 128
Appendix D Figure 2: Hardy-Fazey Catastrophe Model ........................... 129
Appendix E Figure 3: Smith—Apter Reversal Theory ................................... 130
Appendix F Causes ofMPA Outline ................................................................ 131
Appendix G Coping Methods Outline ........................................................... 132
Bibliography ................................................................................................................... 134

vii

LIST OF FIGURES

Figure 1: Yerkes-Dodson Inverted-U Hypothesis ................................................... 128
Figure 2: Hardey-Fazey Catastrophe Model ............................................................ 129
Figure 3: Smith-Apter Reversal Theory ..................................................................... 130

viii

INTRODUCTION

Have you ever performed to your best skill level? Have you ever played
beyond what you consider to be your optimal abilities? Alternately, have you
had the unfortunate experience of not meeting your performance expectations?
Why is it that musicians cannot always play at an optimal level? What causes the
body to shake or tremble during performance, resulting in unwanted mistakes?
Can anything be done about this phenomenon?

When I was a sophomore in college, I had the thrilling experience of
playing beyond my own skill level. Time slowed, I experienced complete
concentration, and I played exactly what I heard in my head. I had never played
so well! From that moment on, I wanted desperately to always perform at that
level. Although I tried recalling what it was I did that day and planned to do the
same regimen prior to performing again, I was not as successful the next time.
In fact, my performances became hit or miss; some were fine, while I considered
others to be complete flops. Because I could not reach that mysterious ”zone,”
my nervousness prior to and during performances began to increase. I never
considered myself to be an anxious performer before this; in fact, I had loved
everything about performing! Was something wrong with me? Was I not
meant for a career in music?

Around the same time, I began hearing and reading about athletes who
baffled similar performance fears. Some of them managed to find creative ways
to deal with them, and I was inspired to try some of their methods. I soon
learned that a huge body of research existed on the topic of performance anxiety
in both the sport and music realms. I realized I was not alone in my anxieties,
and that I need not look into pursuing a different career.

As my collection of information on music performance anxiety (MPA)

grew, I noticed that my private students were also struggling with performing. I

wondered how I could educate my students about MPA, its causes, and possible
remedies, without losing time needed for working on music. Because finding a
way to deal with MPA is so individual, how could I motivate students to discover
strategies themselves? Could they write something in their lesson notebooks
that would prove to me they were trying my suggestions? Journaling became
part of the answer.

Writing in a journal forces you to think critically about yourself. I knew
this from my own experience as a journal writer. Journaling was something I
did if I needed to vent, express my feelings, or talk with someone if nobody was
available. As an unfortunate result, subsequent readings of my journal entries
tended to sound depressing. In revisiting these entries, I questioned whether my
life was really that horrible. In fact, I once quit journaling because it no longer
made me feel better; the more one dwells on negatives, the worse he or she is
apt to feel. I quickly realized that if I was going to try journaling again and
recommend it to my students, I would need specific writing exercises that
encouraged writers to record both positive and negative thoughts, feelings, and
events.

One of the first exercises I recommended to a student was made up on the
spot. She was complaining about frequent illness and feeling depressed. It was
her mention of feeling tense all the time that made me realize that she needed to
become aware of why she held clenched muscles. I told her to keep a tension log
for the next week. Whenever she felt any part of her body tighten, she was
required to record the date, time, what she was doing, and what she was
thinking at the onset of tension. By the next week, the student realized that her
tension occurred whenever she went to a class. She tended to be late to her
classes because she was not allowing herself enough time to walk. She decided
to try allowing plenty of time to walk slowly to class. Upon arrival, her

concentration was better, she felt relaxed, and she was ready to soak up the

lecture. Over the long term, we noticed that she got sick less often, had fewer
headaches, and was a much happier person. The key to this success was the
student’ 3 openness to learning about herself. She learned what worked for her
(leaving earlier for class) and what did not (frantically rushing to class), and these
discoveries helped her to work at her optimal level.

While the above story has little to do with music, it does point out that we
may hinder our abilities to perform optimally in daily life. If you are not
performing to the best of your ability in your daily routine, how can you expect
that your music performances will improve? This document attempts to help
the reader understand this concept. As the first step of any self-help program
encourages you to know about your problem and to learn about yourself, this
introductory study begins (part one) with an overview of MPA research. It is
recommended that music teachers use this section as a manual for understanding
what WA is, what causes it, which eminent performers have faced MPA, and
how athletes and musicians currently deal with it. Students are also encouraged
to read this section, as it contains information that may help them to understand
themselves better.

Part two is a journaling workbook that contains writing exercises
intended to help musicians learn about themselves, cope with MPA, and become
stronger performers. There are five sections of writing exercises, each designed
to focus on one topic area (basic exercises, personal / autobiographical, practice,
achieving goals, and fears/ self-doubt).

Musicians using the workbook should try to be as creative as possible.
They should not feel confined to using only the writing exercises in this book.
Encouraging students to write and educating them about MPA coping methods
may allow teachers to see many improvements in students’ playing and general
well-being without sacrificing too much lesson time.

Good luck to all teachers, students, and musicians who endeavor to learn

about music performance anxiety and who are ready for successful and

confident performing!

PART ONE
INTRODUCTORY STUDY

Chapter One
MUSIC PERFORMANCE ANXIETY

DEFINING MUSIC PERFORMANCE ANXIETY

What causes performing musicians to be nervous and experience dry
mouth, a jittery stomach, or other bodily reacfions that make it difficult to
concentrate? Is this anxiety? Is this abnormal? What is music performance
anxiety (MPA)? Is it equivalent to stage fright? Can anything be done to lessen
such reactions to performing? Can the gap between how a performer plays
alone in a practice room and in a live concert be bridged? Is there a way to feel
more confident? These are questions asked by countless musicians seeking a
way to deal with the nerves felt before, during, and after performance.

Much of the anxiety research views stage fright and MPA as synonymous.
Indeed, some form of anxiety exists any time a musician performs and
experiences a physiological, mental and/ or behavioral change. Because the
word anxiety has received negative connotations in the past, many musicians
resist admitting they experience MPA. In order to clarify what music
performance anxiety is, and how it can affect performance, some definitions
from anxiety research must be explored.

MPA is described by music therapist Melissa Brotons as a ”...serious,
debilitating problem which functionally impairs many musicians.”1 Psychologist
Paul Salmon defines it as ”the experience of persisting, distressful apprehension
aboutL] and/ or actual impairment of, performance skills in a public context, to a
degree unwarranted given the individual’s musical aptitude, training, and level
of preparation.”2 Music Performance Anxiety research emerged from and is still
influenced by studies in the realm of sports psychology, which suggest that

 

' Melissa Brotons, ”Effects of performing conditions on music performance anxiety and
performance quality,” Journal of Music Therapy 31, no. 1 (1994): 64.

2 Elizabeth Valentine, ”The fear of performance,” in Musical Performance: A Guide to
Understanding, ed. John Rink (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2002), 168.

”anxiety reactions result from an objective environmental demand interpreted as
threatening (a perceived imbalance between the demand and one’s response
capabilities) by an individual. Hence, anxiety has been viewed as feelings of
nervousness and tension associated with activation or arousal Of the organism.”3
These anxiety definitions only describe fragments of the complexifies
surrounding MPA. Another way in which musicians identify or understand
MPA is by examining the lengthy lists of symptoms associated with the
condition. When asked what MPA is, musicians often describe the numerous
symptoms that may be felt before, during, and after a performance. These
symptoms vary in type, number, and degree from person to person.
Consequently, researchers are increasingly curious regarding prediction and
treatment of such variegated symptoms. Despite this challenge, studies
conducted over the past two decades have tried formulating theories to explain
why performers experience anxiety and how they can cope with its debilitating
symptoms. Based on this research, the present section discusses symptoms of
music performance anxiety, why they occur, who is likely to experience them,
and current strategies for managing anxiety.
Symptoms‘

In order to cover the vast number of symptoms that performers
describe, researchers often organize symptoms into categories. Music
psychologist Elizabeth Valentine, for example, has organized symptoms into
three main categories.5 Her first category lists physiological symptoms that
result from overarousal of the autonomic nervous system. These include
increased heart rate, palpitations, shortness of breath, hyperventilation, dry
mouth, sweating, nausea, diarrhea, dizziness, etc. Such physiological

 

3 Daniel Gould, Christy Greenleaf, and Vikki Krane, ”Arousal-Anxiety and Sport Behavior,”
in Advances in Sport Psychology, ed. Thelma Horn (Champaign, 11: Human Kinetics
Publishers, Inc., 2002), p. 209.

‘ See Appendix A

’ Valentine, pp. 168-69.

manifestations of anxiety are often associated with the ”fight or flight” response
discovered by psychologist Walter Cannon in 1914.‘ Valentine’s next category
Of symptoms covers the behavioral realm. It includes shaking, trembling,
stiffness, deadpan expression, moistening lips, lifting shoulders, and impairment
of performance. Cognitive or mental manifestations of anxiety in performance
comprise Valentine’s third category.7 These are the subjective feelings of anxiety
and the negative thoughts about performing that occur before, during, and/ or
after a performance. Symptoms include fear of public performance, negative
evaluation, loss of self-esteem, identification of self-esteem with performance
perfection, and worry that leads to poor concentration which may further
increase anxiety. Musicians suffering from these cognitive symptoms often
mention an inability to concentrate. This document will cover the cognifive
realm most intensely and will attempt to formulate various coping strategies in
subsequent chapters. Before going in this direction, why do our bodies create
such symptomatic responses when we perform?
The Mind/Body Connection: why we feel MPA symptoms

Anxiety specialist Edmund Bourne cites Cannon’s ”fight-or-flight”
response as causing many Of the symptoms associated with anxiety. This natural
response is designed to give us the energy needed to cope with anything that
threatens our lives. Although we no longer have a need to flee from large
predators for survival, our bodies still lapse into this mode whenever we
perceive an event as overwhelming.“ Cognizance of the connection between
mind and body is crucial to understanding this phenomenon. For example,
when nighhnares occur, the body responds by causing one to sweat, making the
heart beat faster, and, as a result of hormones, producing a feeling of fear. In

 

‘ Edmund J. Bourne, The Anxiety 8' Phobia Workbook (Oakland, CA: New Harbinger
Publications, Inc, 2000), 36.

7 This category is known as psychological or emotional symptoms in research by Mark C. Ely
and Paul Salmon (Brotons, p. 64).

’ Bourne, p. 36.

short, the mind perceives a scary situation and the body reacts. Here are a
couple examples to try: Imagine yourself biting into a lemon. How do you
react? Can you feel the saliva begin to flow? Do your lips pucker? Are your
eyebrows clenched? Now imagine you are about to step on stage for a recital.
All of your teachers and peers are in attendance. Do you feel any nervousness
or tension begin to creep into your body? How else does your body react?
When the mind perceives a certain situation as stressful, scary, or even exciting,
the body will respond, even though it is only the imagination that has been
activated.

The nervous system is responsible for the mind/ body connection.9 There
are two components working together in the nervous system. The first, known
as the central system, includes the brain and spinal cord; these control droughts
and memory. The second component, consisting of a network of nerves that
connects organs and other systems to the central system, is known as the
peripheral system. This system controls sight, smell, touch, hearing, perception
of temperature and pain, etc. The coordination of these systems responds to our
perceptions of the environment.10 When there is fear of a situation or a
perception of danger, the body kicks into the ”fight-or-flight” response.‘1
Messages are sent between the systems in response to stressful situations, and
the body is geared for optimal function for protection and defense.

The brain also has a role in facilitating communication between mind and
body. Around one hundred billion cells or neurons account for the immense

complexities of the brain.12 The brain is separated into regions which are

 

’ For more information about the Nervous System, visit:

http: / /www.emc.maricopa.edu/ faculty/ farabee/ BIOBK / BioBookNERV.html#Peripheral%2
0Nervous% ZOSystem

‘° Dorothy V. Harris and Bette L. Harris, Sports Psychology: Mental Skills for Physical People
(New York: Leisure Press, 1984), 24.

" Ibid., p. 24.

‘1 Bourne, p. 37.

connected by many pathways.13 These pathways act as a road over which
millions of nerve impulses are transmitted. The billions of nerve cells are
separated by synapses. When a nerve impulse is transmitted across these
synapses, a chemical known as a neurotransmitter is released into the synapses.
This allows the movement Of the nerve impulse from one neuron to the next.
Our body has various systems which are sensitive to certain neurotransmitters.“
It has been hypothesized that if neurotransmitters frequently send impulses to
our ”fear system,” the likelihood of experiencing more anxiety surrounding a
performance is intensified. In other words, this constant activation makes our
fear system overly sensitive.‘5 If musicians allow anxiety levels to stay high, the
likelihood their bodies will experience symptoms associated with anxiety during
a performance increases. This phenomenon is similar to being stung by a bee.
The reaction to a sting gets worse every time a person is stung, Often resulting in
an allergy to bee stings. Eventually, the danger of a life-threatening allergic
reaction from a bee sting may necessitate the accompaniment of a bee sting kit
wherever one travels. Similarly, musicians who allow symptoms to persist and
worsen with each performance without learning to deal with it develop overly
sensitive fear systems. The longer a musician waits to tap into coping methods,
the more difficult it may be to control anxiety levels.

In less scientific terms, when musicians are nervous about a performance,
their bodies will respond, whether they are prepared for this to happen or not.
While their lives are not in danger, their minds perceive the situation as stressful,
and their bodies respond with heart palpitations, muscle tension, fatigue,
irritability, cotton mouth, cold clammy hands, trembling and twitching, and any

number of other symptoms. These are warnings from their bodies that they are

 

‘3 For more information on the brain, visit:

http: / / www.emc.maricopa.edu / faculty] farabee/ BIOBK/BioBookNERV.htrnl#Peripheral%2
0Nervous%20$ystem

” Bourne, p. 37.

‘5 Ibid., p. 38.

10

out of control. Seventy-five percent of performance nerves are a result of
psychophysiological stress and responses that directly relate to the attitudes and
thoughts in performers minds.“ This means that if musicians perceive the
performance to be threatening, their bodies will gear up for a fight. If
performers can convince their minds that the performance is something about
which to be excited, however, then perhaps they can cajole their bodies into a

I less anxious state. Strategies for accomplishing this will be discussed in the
section on MPA coping methods.

LEVELS OF ANXIETY"

The issue Of MPA becomes complicated as researchers note that the same
symptoms are not felt by all musicians. In fact, one musician may not feel the
same symptoms each time he or she performs. This explains why sport and
music psychological research investigates both somatic (physical) and cognitive
(mental) manifestations of performance anxiety. Researchers in the sports,
music, and general psychology realms also designate different levels Of anxiety
which depend on a variety of factors.

Researchers Peter Ostwald, Marc Avery, and Lise Deschamps Ostwald
have proposed three forms of anxiety disorder in musicians.18 The first and
most common is the sense of unpleasant apprehension preceding a
performance. Performers will experience many of the common symptoms that
have been listed. Panic is another level of anxiety. This is an intense form of
anxiety that is characterized by restlessness, fear of catastrophe, and a number of
severe physical symptoms. The most debilitating anxiety is known as chronic
anxiety. If intense symptoms persist, the individual may develop obsessive-

 

" Harris and Harris, p. 37.

'7 See Appendix B.

“’ Peter Ostwald, Marc Avery, and Lise Deschamps Ostwald, ”Psychiatric problems of
performing artists,” in Performing Arts Medicine (San Diego: Singular Publishing Group Inc.,
1998), 341.

11

compulsive behavior, intensified physical symptoms, agoraphobia, and perhaps
social withdrawal.

Music psychologist Elizabeth Valentine suggests MPA levels that include
catastrophizing, moderate stage fright, and self-handicapping.19
Catastrophizing occurs when someone exaggerates the likelihood of disaster.
This level of anxiety is associated with high levels of MPA and many symptoms.
Valentine’s second level Of anxiety, moderate stage fright, encompasses anyone
who recognizes the inevitability of mistakes, understands that audiences are
generally tolerant, and can see the need to concentrate on the technical and
interpretive aspects of music performance. A few symptoms may go along with
this type of MPA, but generally the performer is able to maintain a sense of what
needs to be accomplished without getting too distracted. Finally, a person may
try to sabotage his or her own performance. This is known as self-
handicapping. In this level, the performer may set up situations that are
guaranteed to be unsuccessful. For instance, someone who does not practice,
stays up late, or damages his or her own instrument or voice prior to a
performance could be seen as self-handicapping. Performers experiencing this
type of anxiety are distracted by self-fulfilling prophecies or statements, such as,
”I am going to make several mistakes,” or ”I am not good enough.”

A third way of organizing levels of MPA is proposed by music
psychologist Melissa Brotons.20 She presents levels in terms of how the
performance is affected. The first level, tension, is considered as an adaptive
anxiety. In other words you can adapt to the anxiety and still perform relatively
well. Then there is the arousal that is necessary to reach a peak performance.
Arousal, a term commonly used in performance anxiety research, is the energy
felt during a performance and is what allows performers to be focused when

they perform. It is a fine balance between too much and not enough arousal. A

‘9 Valentine, p. 169.
2" Brotons, p. 64.

 

12

performer with too much arousal may experience excessive stress, the third level
of MPA according to Brotons. This level is debilitating and often causes
performers to play poorly. Great performers who quit the study of music often
cite excessive stress as the reason for pursuing a different career.

Brotons’ three levels do not cast the word ’anxiety’ in a completely
negative light. Although tension may be felt when even uttering the word,
Brotons’ second level of anxiety, arousal that is necessary to reach peak performance,
suggests a need for a certain amount of anxiety when performing. Further,
some researchers distinguish between beneficial and detrimental anxiety. It has
been suggested that successful performances occur when a performer is
sufficiently nervous or experiences optimal arousal. This type of arousal is
considered to be beneficial anxiety. Detrimental anxiety occurs when the arousal
or nervousness is so great that a musician cannot play to his or her optimal level,
and it can make a performance go poorly. When discussing deficient, optimal, or
excessive levels of anxiety during a performance, many researchers use the
terms arousal, anxiety, and stress interchangeably. At this point, it is necessary to

clarify definitions for these words.

AROUSAL VS. STRESS VS. ANXIETY
Arousal

Sports Psychologists Daniel M. Landers and Stephen H. Boutcher define
the term arousal as ”an energizing function that is responsible for harnessing of
the body’s resources for intense and vigorous activity.”21 Arousal is the
physiological and psychological energy that motivates us to get through various
activifies. The arousal state varies in a person from deep sleep to intense
excitement. The amount of arousal can be pleasant or unpleasant depending on

how much of it we have versus how much we need for a given situation.

 

2‘ Gould, Greenleaf, and Krane, p. 208

13

Researchers measure arousal in music performance by observing heart rate,
blood pressure, respiration rate, electrocortical activity (brain waves),
electromyography (muscle activity or impulses), biochemical indicants
(epinephrine or adrenaline) and galvanic skin response. Therefore, the
adrenaline rush that many performers experience prior to walking on stage is
simply an increase in the arousal level, which in turn motivates and energizes
them, mentally and physically, for a performance.
Stress

The word stress is Often used synonymously with the word anxiety;
however, they are not the same. Psychologist Joseph Edward McGrath has
defined stress as ”a substantial imbalance between (environmental) demand and
response capability, under conditions where failure to meet the demand has
important consequences.”22 Stress is pressure that is occurring outside Of us
which can cause a physical or mental response. Not only is it the situation or
event that causes stress, but also an individual’s perception of the situation.
Researchers often make a distinction between good stress (eustress) and bad
stress (distress)? Eustress can be a motivator for doing well and staying
focused during a performance, in the same way as optimal arousal levels.
Distress presents so much strain from the environment that optimal
performance conditions may be impossible to reach.
Anxiety

While stress is a combination of events from the environment that lead to
a specific behavior, anxiety is caused by an internal conflict. In many cases, the
level of arousal is what can lead a performer to feel anxiety. Anxiety is caused
when arousal increases to an unpleasant level. As described earlier in this
chapter, anxiety is a feeling of nervousness and tension. Researchers ask

whether a person is genetically predisposed to anxiety or whether anxiety

22 Gould, Greenleaf, and Krane, p. 211.
’3 Ibid., p. 209.

 

14

depends on the situation at hand. Or could it be a combination of these factors?
These questions have led to the development of the state-trait theory of
anxiety.“

State- vs. Trait-anxiety

State-anxiety is the apprehension, tension, or worry felt when the body is
going through heightened arousal. This type of anxiety occurs on a moment-to-
moment basis, depending on the situation a performer faces. State-anxiety can
be cognitive (mental) or somatic (physical).25 Cognitive state-anxiety includes
worries, negative thoughts, or an inability to focus on the task at hand. Any
physical symptoms such as butterflies in the stomach, increased heart rate,
shaking, etc. falls into the somatic state-anxiety category. According to
psychologist Charles Spielberger, trait-anxiety is ”a motive or acquired
behavioral disposition that predisposes an individual to perceive a wide range of
objectively non-dangerous circumstances as threatening and to respond to these
with state-anxiety reactions disproportionate in intensity to the magnitude of the
objective danger.”5 A person in a perpetual state of anxiety on a daily basis
would be described as having high levels of trait-anxiety.

Research by Donald Hamann combines trait- and state- anxiety levels
with a performer’ s task-mastery level, or years of formal study or practice. For
instance, a performer with high trait-anxiety and high task-mastery skill will
benefit from an increase in state-anxiety. However, someone who is low on
task-mastery and high on trait-anxiety would not benefit from high state-
anxiety.27 Hamann also found that musicians with high trait-anxiety also had
higher state-anxiety. A majority of these musicians claimed that they performed

”as well or better’ ’ when anxiety levels increased.” Interestingly, musicians with

 

2‘ Gould, Greenleaf, and Krane, p. 209.

’5 Ibid., p. 210.

2" Ibid., p. 209.

2’ Donald L. Hamann, ”The Other Side of Stage Fright,” ME J April, (1985): 26.
2" Ibid., p. 28.

15

high trait-anxiety and high task-mastery skills gave better performances than
those with low trait-anxiety and high task-mastery. In addition, performers with
low trait-anxiety and low task-mastery skills performed better than those with
high trait-anxiety and low task-mastery.29 What does all of this mean? Perhaps
reducing the level of anxiety we feel during a performance is not the answer.
Though the judges taking part in this study Observed how higher anxiety helped
these musicians, the performers themselves felt they did not play their best.
Hamann suggests that musicians experience heightened ”curiosity” levels in
conjunction with higher anxiety.30 In other words, the anxiety heightens the
musicians’ awareness of what occurs during the performance, and they listen
more carefully than when they are in the practice room.

While it may not be entirely beneficial for musicians to completely rid
themselves of anxiety, performers can learn to use anxiety in helpful ways. First,
a performer must know him, or herself, and whether the tendency is toward
high trait- or state-anxiety. Researchers predict that performers who are high
trait-anxious will react with more intense state-anxiety because they are more
likely to perceive situations as being threatening. Conversely, performers with
low trait-anxiety are less likely to react to performance situations in this way, and
may have an easier time Of reaching Optimal performance levels. Knowing their
own tendencies can help musicians understand why certain performances are
successful while others are not. In fact, many theories have been proposed in the
sport and music realms to determine how arousal and anxiety affect music

performance.

AROUSAL-PERFORMANCE RELATIONSHIP THEORIES
Inverted-U Hypothesis“1

 

2’ Hamann, p. 28.
3° Ibid., p. 28.
3‘ See Appendix C, Figure 1.

16

In 1908, Robert Yerkes and John D. Dodson proposed that the relationship
between arousal and performance is curvilinear, and that a performer reaches an
optimal level of performance when there is neither too much nor too little
arousal.32 In other words, as arousal increases, the performance will get better,
with each performer having his or her own Oph'mal level of arousal. If arousal
goes beyond this optimal level, the musician’s performance will decline. This
theory, known as the Inverted-U Hypothesis, does not predict when, how, or
why a performer will be affected by arousal. It does attempt to explain why a
musician fails to reach his or her expected optimal levels during a given
performance. It is suggested that high-anxious performers are likely to perform
poorly.” In a study by Fazey and Hardy, it was found that when there are low
levels of cognitive anxiety, the arousal/ performance relationship follows the
Inverted-U Model. However, when cognitive anxiety is high, the Catastrophe
Model works better to explain the next arousal / performance relationship
theory.“

Catastrophe Theory’5

The Catastrophe Model, proposed by Lew Hardy and J. Fazey, is three
dimensional. Like the Yerkes-Dodson Inverted-U Hypothesis, the Catastrophe
Model predicts that an increase in arousal will facilitate a performance.
However, unlike the Inverted-U Hypothesis, which proposes that there will be a
curvilinear, symmetrical decline in the performance, the Catastrophe Model
shows that an extreme arousal increase will result in a dramau'c or catastrophic
decline. The severity of this decline makes it impossible for the musician to
completely recover during the performance.

Reversal Theory36

 

3’ Gould, Greenleaf, and Krane, p. 213.
33 Ibid., p. 214.

3‘ Valentine, p. 170.

35 See Appendix D, Figure 2.

3‘ See Appendix E, Figure 3.

17

A third way of viewing the relationship between arousal and performance
is through the Reversal Theory. Proposed by psychologists K.C.P. Smith and
Michael J. Apter, this theory looks at the relationship between arousal and
emotional effect and is used as a framework to explain how personality and
motivation relate.37 The way in which arousal is rated depends on a person’s
interpretation of arousal level. For instance, if high arousal is experienced as
positive excitement, then it is pleasant, but if high arousal causes negative
anxiety, then it is unpleasant. Low arousal may be experienced as
relaxation/ pleasant or as boredom/ unpleasant. The interpretation of effect
(pleasant vs. unpleasant) is called the hedonic tone. There are two curves in
Reversal Theory that depict the relationship between arousal and affective
pleasure. We are constantly shifting up and down, from pleasant to unpleasant,
every day. This model presents more of an inside—out approach to
understanding behavior in performance as well as daily life.

A musician who knows how he, or she tends to react in performance
situations is certainly on the path to finding a way to cope with the amount Of
music performance anxiety he or she feels. There may be comfort in knowing
that the same symptoms always return prior to a performance. Or, a musician
may benefit from the knowledge that he or she is trait-anxious. Unfortunately,
the above information does not explain the causes for the anxiety felt prior to or
during a performance. Getting to know some of these causes will help the
musician to take the next step on finding a way to cope with music performance

anxiety.

 

’7 Gould, Greenleaf, and Krane, p. 221.

18

Chapter Two
CAUSES OF MUSIC PERFORMANCE ANXIETY

What causes musicians to perceive performance situations as stressful?
The reactions of the mind and/ or body to a performance situation help to
explain the symptoms performers may experience. However, knowing the
cause of such cognitive or physical reactions to a performance may help in the
formulation of a plan to cope with certain aspects of performance anxiety. A
wide variety of causes have been listed by performers and reported in research.
According to music psychologist Albert LeBlanc, such causes include age, ability,
attitude, prior performing experience, memorization, time of performance,
music appropriateness, preparation, instrument, physiology, health, mood,
environment, recording devices, stage conditions, people in the audience, size of
the audience, relationships, media attention, peer groups, level of arousal, and a
performer’s perceptions of such things as music difficulty, appearance, amount
of individual exposure, importance of performance, and audience support.”
Theories About MPA Causes

Melissa Brotons organizes performance variables into three theories of
how performances are affectedf"9 The Physiological Theory explains that
unpredictable motor conditions result from a release of adrenaline into the body
before or during a performance. Performers may notice common physiological
symptoms, such as a quivering lip, that make it difficult to control fine motor
movements, such as tone control or coloration, required in a performance. The
Cognitive-Behavioral Theory suggests that negative droughts and self-
statements perpetuate anxiety. Such thoughts may include, ”I’m not good
enough,” or, ”If I don’t prove myself to this audience, I will fail.” Finally, the
Psychoanalytic Theog discusses the attitudes, traits, and unconscious conflicts
3' Albert LeBlanc, ”A Theory of Music Performance Anxiety," The Quarterly Journal of Music

Teaching and Learning 5, no. 4 (1994): 62-5.
3’ Brotons, p. 65.

19

(such as childhood issues) that perpetuate MPA. This theory covers the
personality of the musician and perhaps digs deeper than mere symptoms.
Brotons suggests that people respond differently to the many variables of
performing. Because of this, it is necessary to treat symptoms in light of the
person experiencing the anxiety.“0 A musician must know his or her
psychological make-up, personality, etc. before deciding which steps might help
in coping with MPA.

ORGANIZING THE CAUSES“

Not only are the causes of MPA numerous, there are also very distinct
levels in which the causes may be categorized. This introductory study will
organize and present MPA causes in three levels. The first level covers any
surface causes, such as physical and/ or mental manifestations of MPA before
and/ or during a performance, as well as levels and types (good versus bad) of
arousal. Digging deeper, the second level considers a musician’s perceptions of a
performance, including self-talk, music difficulty, importance of the performance,
and whether there is audience support. This level also considers events and / or
situations in life that may trigger an anxiety reaction, as well as stress or lifestyle
which may detrimentally maintain a performer’ s anxiety levels. Finally, the
deepest level discusses how a performer’ s personality can perpetuate anxiety
and how family and other relationships may affect MPA. This introductory
study will cover the most basic information on these topics. For further
information, it would be best to consult more specialized sources.

LEVEL 1: SURFACE CAUSES OF MPA
Arousal

As mentioned earlier, arousal is a state of alertness or activation that

 

‘° Brotons, p. 65.
“ See Appendix F.

20

ranges from sleep to intense excitement. While arousal and anxiety are not the
same, arousal plays a major role in how the body and/ or mind reacts to anxiety.
Studies show that the amount of arousal felt by a performer may have an effect
on the success Of a performance or how much anxiety is felt. In a study by
scholar Kristen Joan Anderson, five doses of caffeine were given to subjects who
then completed easy and difficult tasks.42 The caffeine was used as a way to
measure or control states of arousal in subjects. A distinction was made between
low- and high-impulsive subjects participating in this study. Impulsivity refers to
behavioral and cognitive spontaneity, which is linked to arousal in performers.
Overall, not only did motivational states increase with a higher caffeine close, but
there was also an increase in state-anxiety.“3 The results showed that high-
irnpulsive subjects worked more rapidly, but were less accurate. As the caffeine
dose increased for low-impulsive subjects completing a difficult task,
performance would improve for a while, but then decline. Low-impulsives
completing easy tasks saw improvement in performance as the caffeine dose
increased. High-impulsive subjects only improved as caffeine doses increased
regardless of whether the task was easy or difficult.“ While this is only one
study, it does present a picture of how arousal can affect performance.
Depending on impulsivity levels, an increase in arousal may help with a
performance, or it may hinder. While the added component of measuring
impulsivity helps in our understanding that arousal is something that can
become too much or too little, it does not necessarily inform as to whether one is
of the low- or high-impulsive type. This may be a function of personality, which
will be discussed as we go deeper into the causes of WA.

Facilitative vs. Debilitative Arousal

The above study suggests that for some people, arousal can help a

‘2 Kristen Joan Anderson, ”Impulsivity, Caffeine, and Task Difficulty: A Within-Subjects Test
of the Yerkes-Dodson Law,” Personality and Individual Differences 16, no. 6 (1994): 814.

‘3 Ibid., p. 819.

“ Ibid., p. 821.

 

21

performance. Much of the MPA research grapples with the idea of whether
arousal or anxiety can benefit a performance as opposed to only having negative
effects. Many professional performers believe that MPA is helpful as long as it
can be controlled. MPA gives performers a ”hyped up” or excited feeling that
inspires a performance more than if that feeling were not present.45 Perhaps this
control may be achieved as long as the state of arousal is neither too high nor
too low for the level of difficulty of the task, as discussed in the study from
above. There may also be evidence of a difference between good and bad
arousal.

The physical manifestations of anxiety during a performance that were
discussed earlier are a direct result of the way a performer perceives a
performance situation. The mind processes all positive and negative thoughts
which then produce a physical response from the body. For instance, if a
musician perceives an event to be going badly, if he or she gives in to the
memory of a perceived horrible performances from the past, and if he or she
thinks that an anxiety response is the proper reaction, the mind and body will
work against each other and perhaps decrease the chances of reaching an
optimal level of performance. Sometimes several expectations are placed on one
performance. For example, a lot of musicians think that each concert defines
their ability to perform. If one performance is going poorly, anxiety will take
over and what is known as ”bad arousal” will be created.“5 Bad arousal is the
negative perception of a performance that creates negative images in our minds.
As the vision of failing permeates the mind, a performer may begin to make
many mistakes and lose concentration while on stage. Physical symptoms that
divert necessary concentration from the performance may also occur. It can

become a vicious cycle; as the mind perceives mistakes in a performance,

 

‘5 David Roland, ”How Professional Performers Manage Performance Anxiety,” Research
Studies in Music Education 2, June (1994 ): 27.
“ Harris and Harris, p. 31

22

negative thoughts ensue that lead to bad arousal, which leads to an anxiety
symptom, which then leads to more negative thoughts, which ruins any mental
focus required for performing.

In any performance situation, what performers really want to feel is
”good arousal.” This positive type uses performance arousal and anxiety to
create excitement and energy while making music. When performers discuss the
benefits of anxiety, this may be to what they are referring. In a study of
internationally and nationally known professional orchestra and jazz musicians,
many performers emphasized that anxiety is good for a performance as long as
there remains a certain amount of control over the task}7 Good arousal allows
performers to feel control during a performance. But how can performers
harness good arousal? How can they control the anxiety felt before, and during,
a performance? Because human beings react differently, finding a definitive set
of answers to these questions is made nearly impossible. Simply looking at the
way in which we live our lives shows us how different we can be. Our daily
experiences and how we process events in our lives can have a dramatic effect on

what kind of arousal or anxiety we feel in any given situation.

LEVEL [1: STRESS/LIFESTYLE

There are many things that can cause stress on a musician’s emotions,
physiology, and psychology. These stressors can take the shape of a life
changing event (leaving home for college), or can be more short term (getting
through a jury performance). This second level of causes for MPA identifies
some of the things in life that result in a stressful or anxious response. While
some of these may not be directly related to performing, they may affect how
musicians feel before, and during, a performance.

Transition From High School to College

 

‘7 Roland, p. 27.

23

For younger musicians, attending a college or conservatory can add a
tremendous amount of anxiety. Before attending college, many students feel
anxious just imagining how their lives will transform. Some incoming freshmen
may have visions of not having the time to finish mountains of homework and
papers given by professors, or being unable to pass classes. Part of the fear of
this transition may stem from various horror stories told by parents, relatives, or
older friends. While this experience may not be shared by all, a large amount of
early stress in college could be due to these early assumptions about college life.
Several MPA studies look at the anxieties of college and conservatory students.

A study by scholars Kris S. Chesky and John I-Iipple looked at this often
difficult transition from high school to college and found that 70-90% of college
students experience psychological distress.48 A survey of 246 music students
showed that 90% were mildly interested in getting help with stress
management.49 The top ten issues reported by a study by scholars C.L. Barney
Dews and Martha S. Williams were: stress, performance nervousness, progress
impatience, burnout with musical progress, job insecurity, conflict between
music and personal life, inadequate practice facilities, depression and
concentration.50
School Environment

The school environment can have a major effect on how much and the
kind of stress that students feel. The study by Dews and Williams shows many
issues related to the school environment such as concern over adequate facilities,
burnout, identity problems, music practice and development, progress

impatience, and difficulty in getting along with peers.51 Dews and Williams ask

 

“ Kris S. Chesky and John Hipple, ”Performance Anxiety, Alcohol-Related Problems, and

Social/ Emotional Difficulties of College Students: A Comparative Study Between Lower-

Division Music and Non-Music Majors,” Medical Problems of Performing Artists 12, (1997): 126.

‘9 Ibid., p. 126.

5° Ibid., p. 126.

5‘ C.L. Barney Dews and Martha S. Williams, ”Student Musicians’ Personality Styles, Stresses,
and Coping Patterns,” Psychology of Music 17, no. 1 (1989): 39-40.

24

some important questions concerning the school environment, such as: How
much stress is being created for students by educational programs? Are schools
considering the structure of times of course offerings and performances to
minimize conflicts with work demands? Are faculty aware of the conflicts
created by the personal life commitments of students? Is there a way that
practice facilities can be more accessible to all students? Finally, are there realistic
requirements, given the developmental age of the students in question?52 Many
students face these issues and are often unaware of the amount of stress placed
on them. Further, students may not know how to deal with these issues, leaving
them feeling helpless or even hopeless.
Finances

Some music students expressed that stress was caused by trying to finance
a college education. Many are forced to work in non-music-related jobs in order
to earn sufficient funds to support themselves while in school. This can detract
from total concentration on the acquisition of musical skills needed for winning a
job after graduation. It is well known that music jobs are highly competitive,
and many students fear that time spent away from their field of study could
result in more difficulty obtaining a job in music.“3 In a survey, these students
had higher stress overall, and more conflict between developing a musical career
and having a personal life. Even after a student finishes his or her education,
making decisions about marriage and parenting can be extremely challenging
because there may be the issue of traveling, or having a hectic schedule, and
many musicians may find themselves having to submit to an abnormal work
schedule.“ While these decisions may not occur until years after graduation,
many students may consider these milestones as they watch friends who are

non-music majors pursue their careers and begin families at an earlier age. In

 

’2 Dews and Williams, p. 47.
‘3 Ibid., p. 40.
5‘ Ostwald, Avery, and Ostwald, p. 344.

25

other words, many music students often have to face defending their career
choice throughout the college years as a result of the competitive nature of the
music field. As a result, this can generate an enormous amount of stress.
Competition

Many people say that competition is a fact of life. Businesses compete for
clients and money. Siblings compete for attention. Musicians are often placed in
competitive situations at a very young age. These competitive scenarios may be
developed and fostered by school music programs out of the simple desire to
encourage students to practice. The theory is that the student vocalist or
instrumentalist who practices the most will become the best. For some students,
however, this system may lead to a habit of ”overworking.” According to
Ostwald, Avery, and Ostwald, overwork in one area of an individual’s life may
constrict personality and leave some to feel that there is no time for ”normal” life
activities.55 As students make the transition to a college or conservatory, they
may find that certain school activities, such as chair challenges and placement in
school ensembles, may contribute to unhealthy competition. Further, tensions
may arise among students who are accustomed to competing in music. This
type of competition can certainly add to and create habits in the amount of stress
or anxiety a student may feel at a music school.
Evaluation

According to Brotons, ”[r]esearchers consistently have found that
performance anxiety occurs because performers feel constantly evaluated and
compared against a perfect standard/’5‘5 This perfection is often expected at the
end of each semester when music students are required to play for end-of-
semester jury performances. A few studies show that anxiety increases as jury

performances approach.” LeBlanc et al. studied how anxiety increased in

 

’5 Ostwald, Avery, and Ostwald, p. 344.
’° Brotons, p. 67.
’7 Valentine, p. 173; Chesky and Hipple, p. 132.

26

students during three separate performance situations: playing a solo alone in a
practice room, playing a solo in a practice room with one researcher present, and
playing a solo in a rehearsal room with four researchers and 15-19 peers
listening.58 After students make it past all of their juries, those who desire an
orchestral career begin to take auditions for placement in various professional
ensembles. In a study by Johannes F.L.M. van Kemenade, Maarten J.M. van Son,
and Nicolette C.A. van Heesch, this scenario is often reported as causing a
tremendous amount of anxiety.59 In this case, musicians have graduated from
being evaluated by the school faculty, to struggling to win a job. In other words,
a lot more than a grade is on the line.
Accumulated Anxiety

Besides the stress of certain school-related activities, there may also be
other anxieties affecting musicians. The anxiety and phobia expert, Edmund
Bourne, gives several insights into how, or why, people may succumb to anxiety
in light of current pressures present in many lifestyles. In the introduction to The
Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, Bourne explains that the stress many people feel
could be the result of stress felt over a long period of time. He explains that
more environmental and social change has occurred in the last 30 years than has
occurred in the last 300 years.‘so There has certainly been an increase in the pace
of modern life as well as tremendous change due to technological advances.
Every time we turn around, there is a new ”toy” to replace what was considered
to be the latest only a year ago.
Technology

The recording industry, which is always influenced by emerging

technologies, is another potential stressor for musicians. Many performers listen

 

5' Valentine, pp. 172-3.

5’ Johannes F.L.M. van Kemenade, Maarten J.M. van Son, and Nicolette C.A. van Heesch,
”Performance Anxiety Among Professional Musicians in Symphonic Orchestras: A Self-Report
Study,” Psychological Reports 77, (1995): 558.

‘° Bourne, p. xiii.

27

to recordings during preparation for a performance. These recordings can help a
performer get a sense of a piece of music (in terms of tempos, style, phrasings,
accompaniment, etc.) so that he or she may be better able to make educated
decisions as to the interpretation of the work to be performed. Unfortunately, it
can be tempting to copy what is heard on recordings. It can also be easy to fall
into the trap of believing that all future performances of the work in question
must be as perfect as the recording. Everything seems so seamless, flawless and
complete. Somehow, a standard may be formulated in our minds upon hearing
a performance of a recorded work. Many performers may feel that to stray
from this standard would simply be failure, forgetting that these recordings are
usually heavily edited by sound engineers who work to remove all flaws. Thus,
technology creates a sense of anxiety as it sets a false standard.
General Life Events

As life is unpredictable, events rarely, if ever, go as smoothly as planned.
Something eventually happens to disrupt the patterns that people prefer to
maintain. For instance, a significant personal loss (death of someone close,
divorce in the family, separation from a spouse or significant other, job loss,
performance injury, financial issues, etc.) can suddenly change the course of a
life. Edmund Bourne refers to these events as possible triggering causes for
those who experience panic attacks as a result of anxiety.“1 It is important to
note that the work of Boume deals more with those who have severe anxiety
disorders and/ or panic attacks, which are topics that lay outside the scope of this
introductory study. This paper will deal more specifically with the general
anxieties one feels about music performance. Short-term causes, such as an
unexpected personal loss, can certainly add and/ or create emotional stress for an
individual. Other triggering causes cited by Bourne include significant life change
(marriage, having a baby, going to college, changing jobs, going into the

 

6' Bourne, p. 42.

28

military, moving to another geographical location, becoming ill, etc.), and
stimulants or recreational drugs (excessive caffeine intake, alcohol abuse, use of
illegal drugs, etc.). At some point everyone has to deal with some or many of
these life events. The coping method(s) chosen for getting through early life
traumas may serve as a model for how future life events are handled.
Maintaining Causes

While a person may experience life-changing events, Bourne also
encourages awareness of the maintaining causes of anxiety. These are the
causes that allow anxiety to continue at a constant level throughout musicians’
lives. Maintaining causes include: avoidance of an anxiety causing situation;
negative self-talk; mistaken beliefs about the self, others, and the world; withheld
feelings (not allowing yourself to feel, only to have feelings come out later,
regardless of preparation); lack of assertiveness (feeling unable to express
yourself); inability to take care of or nurture yourself; muscle tension; stimulants
and dietary factors; high—stress lifestyle; and a lack of meaning or purpose in
life.62 This section will not cover all of the mentioned maintaining causes, but will
discuss a few that are pertinent to the coping strategies discussed later.
Avoiding a Situation That Creates Anxiety

An example of the first maintaining cause of WA can be exemplified by a
musician who avoids certain performance situations.63 For instance, someone
who signs up to do an audition, prepares for the audition, gets anxious, and then
talks him or herself out of doing it for various reasons is someone avoiding an
anxiety- causing scenario. As a result, the musician allows anxiety about
auditions to grow.
Anxious Self-Talk

Another maintaining cause is anxious self-talk. What musicians say to

themselves can have a dramatic effect on how they feel or perceive a situation.

‘2 Bourne, pp. 45-8.
‘3 Ibid., p. 45.

 

29

Have you ever asked yourself the ”what if” questions? Perhaps these questions
sound something like: ”What if I don’t make it into this ensemble?” ”What if I
mess up that section that’ 8 been giving me troubles?” ”What if my teacher
doesn’t like how I play this?” ”What if I get a bad grade?” Bourne says that this
”scare talk” allows a performer to anticipate the worst scenario before it actually
happens. Recall that the mind and body are strongly connected. As soon as the
mind gives in to such talk, a musician may find him or herself with a physical
response that could impede a performance, and would therefore fulfill the
prophecy.
Mistaken Beliefs

Often this negative self-talk, permeating performers’ droughts prior to a
performance, comes out of various mistaken beliefs about themselves, others,
and the world in general, a third maintaining cause of anxiety.“ But how and ‘
where are these perceptions generated? Why would musicians allow themselves
to feel insecure? Later in this chapter, these questions will be answered when
discussing the deepest level of anxiety causes: personality, family, and
relationships.
Effects of Accumulated Stress

Before going to the next level of MPA causes, it is necessary to point out
that stress can be cumulative, and it is this accumulation of stress that hurts us
the most in the long run. Bourne suggests that any stress that is accumulated
over time may help to cause psychological and physical disorders.“ Persistent
stress can eventually affect the neuroendocrine regulatory systems of the brain.
These systems (physical and mental) are responsible for any mood disorders
such as depression or anxiety if successful coping strategies are not attempted by
the individual. Therefore, if an individual is predisposed to having a
performance injury, any stress will compound these physical problems. If an

“ Bourne, p. 45.
‘5 Ibid., p. 33.

 

30

individual has a more severe problem with MPA, any added life stress will make
performing an even greater challenge. Bourne suggests that the system that is
more vulnerable in an individual may depend on heredity.66

LEVEL III: PERSONALITY/FAMILY

Since the introduction of Sigmund Freud’s theories in the late nineteenth
century, many have become fascinated with the idea that all life experiences,
feelings, reactions to life events, and personality characteristics stem from
childhood and play a role in shaping adult personality. Psychologists point to
parents and early childhood experiences as being the most influential in the
creation of personality. Some may see this as finding blame for any
imperfections. However, musicians who grapple with their origins may gain
insights into why they react the way they do in performance situations. While
dealing with issues such as personality and effects of family on how personalities
are shaped is out of the scope of this introductory study, a few basic ideas will be
presented.
Perfectionism

Musicians are often accused of having the ”flaw” of perfectionism. This
trait seems fairly normal, and in some cases is encouraged, considering the
nature of creating music. In order to please audiences as well as to win accolades
from critics, performers must strive for not only note perfection, but also
dynamic musical expression. Many students feel immense pressure when
playing for studio classes before an audience which consists entirely of peers
who may be keeping a tally of any mistakes committed. Or, a music student
might be thinking about grades as he or she performs for faculty. Often, faculty
or judges of music performances have their own agendas when assigning grades

or ratings to performances, which may or may not be known to the performer.

 

“ Bourne, pp. 33-4.

31

Finally, musicians may be trying to match or exceed the perfect standards of a
recording. All of these, in addiu'on to many other musical scenarios, contribute
to the musicians’ desire for perfection in all facets of performance.
Unfortunately, research has shown that those individuals who have the greatest
tendency toward perfectionism often exhibit more anxiety.

According to scholars Shulamit Mor, Hy I Day, Gordon L. Flett, and Paul
L. Hewitt, the perfectionist person is susceptible to feeling anxiety and perceives
a difference between the ideal self (the person you wish to be) and the actual self
(the person you are) .67 For example, a musician who is a perfectionist conjures
up how a performance should ideally go, how well he or she must perform, and
what standard should be upheld. But the actual self may not be able to meet
these high expectations, leaving the perfectionist feeling as though he or she has
failed. Every time the perfectionist performs, these increasingly high
expectations also increase the chances of perceived ”failure.” Therefore, anxiety
ensues and grows. This is known as self-oriented perfectionism. It is suggested
that personality factors affect the interaction between WA and perfectionism.
Research shows that perfectionists who have a low sense of control over aspects
of themselves, such as negative thoughts and environmental elements in the
performance event, will have higher levels of anxiety.‘58 However, perfectionists
who have a high sense of control show lower levels of MPA. The ability to feel
in or out of control during a performance is regulated by the nature of the
musician. Control, in this case, is an aspect of personality. Research by Mor et a1.
confirms that the less control a performer feels, the more debilitating anxiety he
or she will face. However, facilitative anxiety will occur for the musician who

feels in control.69 It was also suggested that perfectionists who are

 

‘7 Shulamit Mor, Hy I Day, Gordon L. Flett, and Paul L. Hewitt, ”Perfectionism, Control, and
Components of Performance Anxiety in Professional Artists,” Cognitive Therapy and Research
19, no. 2 (1995): 208.

“ Mor, Day, Flett, Hewitt, p. 210.

‘9 Ibid., pp. 215-18.

32

psychologically stable feel more performance control.’o Finally, self-oriented
perfectionists who feel low control may be prone to higher MPA due to the
effects of life stress, as discussed earlier?1 Therefore, how performers cope with
and process various issues in their lives may affect levels, control, and ability to
handle the performance situation. Therefore, reactions to performance
situations relate directly to personality.

The individual with self-oriented perfectionism may also suffer from
higher trait-anxiety. Recall the section on the trait/ state-anxiety theory. This
theory helps explain why certain individuals react as they do in a given
performance situation. For instance, someone who has high trait-anxiety may
respond with higher levels of state-anxiety as well.’2 But what makes one
person have more trait-anxiety than another? Are there certain life conditions
that foster more trait-anxiety? Does it have to do with upbringing or the
development of family relationships? Which life experiences create a self-
oriented perfectionist performer? It may help to look at the ways in which we
were brought up, the events that happened when we were kids, and ponder the
question of how these experiences affect us. As psychological research is
developed, there is an increase in our awareness of the tremendous effect family
can have on the development of a musician’s personality. To go into great detail
about this research would stray from the core issue of performance anxiety.
Therefore, this introductory study will focus on a few ways the family can affect
MPA levels for the musician.

Influence of Family: Too Much Support

The support and encouragement parents give a child musician may
contribute to the ultimate success of a performer. Further, the way in which a
parent supports or the degree to which a parent encourages a child’s pursuit of

 

7" Mor, Day, Flett, Hewitt, p. 220-21.
7‘ Ibid., pp. 220-21.
7’ Hamann, p. 26.

33

music can have a dramatic effect on the anxiety many musicians face. For
example, the phenomenon referred to as the ”stage parent’ ’ can affect budding
artists in negative ways.’3 The stage parent is not a typical parent you might see
eagerly holding a camera at the first concert of his or her daughter. Rather, the
true stage parent defines his or her own self-worth on the success of the child
musician. A possible scenario might suggest that this parent almost pursued a
music career but was unable to continue for some reason. Perhaps the parent
always wanted to play an instrument or sing, but never had the resources or
support to do so. In any case, the parent or parents may strongly urge or force
the child to participate in as many music events as possible. The expectation by
many of these parents is fame and fortune for their child, and ultimately for
themselves as a result. Parental involvement can become so intense that family
life is made extremely difficult. In a study by Linda H. Hamilton, 70% of the
artists questioned said they had difficult family lives, and 14% of the professional
performers claimed involvement of one or both parents their careers."
Not Enough Support

Conversely, studies show that the success of a musician may also be
hindered by a lack of parental support. For instance, in a study on the effects of
stress on music conservatory students, psychologist Catherine Butler found that
the likelihood of failure or dropout increased for students with parents who
were musically passive or if parents were unsupportive of the child’s career
choice.’5 This study investigated the relationships between physical illness,
psychological stress, and lack of achievement in a London school of music. The
scope of the study included the external (circumstantial) and internal

(relationships) well-being of the students?6 Butler found that psychological

’3 Linda H. Hamilton, ”The Emotional Costs of Performing: Interventions for the Young Artist,
Medical Problems of Performing Artists 12, (1997): 68.

7‘ Ibid., p. 68.

7’ Catherine Butler, ”Investigating the Effects of Stress on the Success and Failure of Music
Conservatory Students,” Medical Problems of Performing Artists 10, no. 1 (1995): 25.

" Ibid., p. 24.

 

34

stress in music students was caused by family trauma and life experiences. For
example, exam grades were lower for students who experienced a loss such as
parent separation, divorce, or death. Grades were also lower for students whose
families had no musical background. Second, the study found that medical
services were used more often by students who had a father that lost a job. The
counseling center was used by a higher percentage of students who ultimately
dropped out of the music school or by those who experienced some form of
loss.’7
Types of Familial Relationships

Butler also found that the relationship music students had with parents
could dramatically affect the relationship cultivated with music teachers. For
example, ”How my mother sees me” and ”How I feel with my teacher” were
highly coordinated in Butler’ 3 study.78 The students with higher self-esteem,
independence and what was termed ”musical obsession,” reported a good
relationship with the father.” Students were put into two groups depending on
who experienced some form of family trauma or loss and who did not. Those
with loss in the past had a negative view of adults and did not expect help to
come from them. Although help was needed, these students did not actively
seek counseling unless referred.30 In contrast, the group without a history of
loss or trauma did trust adults and voluntarily sought help often. Interestingly,
more physical symptoms, such as headaches and colds, were reported by the
group with a loss, while students without this background reported more
depression and emotional debilitation. The most important finding was that the
students with trauma in their past suffered from both internal and external stress
while the other group experienced only one or neither kind.

Psychologist Edmund Bourne presents several parental behaviors that

”Butler, p. 25.
7' Ibid., p. 26.
7’ Ibid., p. 27.
’° Ibid., p. 28.

 

35

may cause anxiety during childh .8‘ One such behavior results when parents
present an ”overly cautious view of the world.” These parents tend to have their
own anxieties which are passed to children. In this case, parents may say such
things to the budding musician as, ”If you go into music, you’ll never get a job,”
or ”You better have a back up plan in case it doesn’t work out.” This expression
of doubt can lead a young musician to feel worried or self-conscious about
succeeding in the music world. Another possible anxiety-causing parental
behavior describes the parent who is ”overly critical and sets excessively high
standards/’82 Parents who exhibit perfectionist behavior may cause a child to
feel unsure of his or her abilities. Budding musicians may develop feelings of
tremendous self-doubt as to whether performances are good enough, because
they are constantly trying to keep the parents’ approval. As performers in this
situation become independent adults, many of these perfectionistic tendencies
are internalized, and they will always strive to look good, to sound good, to be
nice, to please others, and to be perfect.

Of course, there are the traditional anxiety-causing parental behaviors,
such as the alcoholic parent, the workaholic parent, the divorce or separation of
parents, the loss of a parent, the loss of a job by a parent, etc. These
circumstances can leave a child feeling insecure and dependent on others later in
life, especially in the situafion of divorce, separation or death.83 The child of an
alcoholic parent may grow up with an obsession to have control, an avoidance of
true feelings, a problem trusting others, an attitude of all-or-nothing, and / or an
eagerness to please all others despite his or her true feelings.“ The common
theme of this scenario is insecurity caused by an uncertain home life, which often
leaves musicians prone to anxiety.

The Effect of Familial Relationships on Non-Familial Relationships

“ Bourne, pp. 30-2.
'2 Ibid., p. 31.
”Ibid., p. 31.
“ Ibid., p. 31.

 

36

Aside from contributing to a sense of insecurity, the relationships built
with family members often serve as models for all relationships formed later in
life. In a study on emotional issues of musicians, Linda H. Hamilton found that
failing music students often suffer from parental trauma and exhibit a negative
view of authority figures. Besides parental relationships, siblings also play a
crucial role in determining the relationships built with peers in music school and
beyond. Hamilton found that struggling music students frequently view
colleagues as competitors in a manner similar to sibling rivalry.85 A different
study by Butler found that music students who were observed to have poor
relationships with siblings also had difficult relationships with primary school
peers and went on to create rivalries at the music school.86 Failing students
distracted by relationship issues with parents, siblings, and now music school
peers, contrast with the successful, less anxious musicians who are able to
concentrate on improving performance skills and other studies.

Chemical Effects

Finally, research in psychology presents evidence showing that some
anxieties may be caused by physiological imbalances in the brain or body. While
these are not considered ultimate causes, a chemical imbalance may serve as a
catalyst for some anxieties. Heredity, cumulative stress, and what Bourne terms
”hereditary vulnerability brought out by cumulative stress” are all factors in
anxiety creation.87 Therefore, the cause of anxiety in an individual may be a
combination of genes, life history and stress. Bourne emphasizes that only a
minority of anxiety cases are caused by medical conditions? There is currently
little research on the biological causes of anxiety specifically for musicians, and an
investigation further into this topic would be outside the scope of this
introductory study. Therefore, it is important for readers to consider possible

 

’5 Hamilton, p. 68.
“ Butler, p. 26.

’7 Bourne, p. 34.

” Ibid., p. 42.

37

chemical factors, but for a deeper understanding of that subject, it would be best
to seek the advice of a professional psychologist or counselor

Hopefully the information presented above gives insight into the most
common possible causes of anxiety for musicians. Remember that only a few of
the causes of music performance anxiety have been discussed in this
introductory study. The causes could be as numerous as the number of people
who pursue a music career! Because everyone experiences life in his or her own
way, the quest to find a method of coping with anxiety must be crafted
individually. But who experiences MPA? Is it confined to a small number of
musicians? If you are reading this to gain insight, chances are you experience
some amount of performance difficulty. But if you are a performer, should you
be completely confident about your abilities without any feelings of
nervousness? How common is MPA? What are some of the ways MPA has

been dealt with in the past and present?

38

Chapter Three
COPING WITH MPA

Scholar Anthony Kemp finds that musicians are more anxious than the
average population.89 Psychologists Andrew Steptoe and Helen Fidler found
that MPA is related to other forms of anxiety, such as neuroticism and social
phobia.90 Wilson and Roland suggest that performance anxiety affects those
performers who are prone to general anxiety, such as a social phobia or a fear of
humiliation.91 Statements like these can make a musician feel abnormal in some
way; as if musicians who experience MPA are unable to handle life. However,
the point of this introductory study is certainly NOT to insinuate this conclusion
in any way. Rather, it is important to know that Nfl’A affects a great number of
musicians. This chapter will present some specific names, percentages, and types
of musicians who are, or have been, affected by MPA, and how it has been dealt
with the past.

WHO HAS MPA?

It has been said that the reason Barbara Streisand avoids live
performances is a result of her tremendous anxiety about performing for a live
audience. For those who enjoy her music, this seems ridiculous. Why would
such a talent be afraid to perform? As she is already established and quite
famous, how could Ms. Streisand possibly have any fears or self-doubt? Perhaps
the point of this example is that there are many eminent musicians who face
severe MPA. Other big names in the music industry that have been documented

as experiencing MPA at some point include: Maria Callas, Enrico Caruso, Pablo

 

'9 Valentine, p. 172.

"’ Ibid., p. 172.

" Glenn D. Wilson and David Roland, ”Performance Anxiety,” in The Science 8 Psychology of
Music Performance: Creative Strategies for Teaching and Learning, ed. Richard Pamcutt and
Gary E. McPherson (New York: Oxford University Press, 2002), 47.

39

Casals, Leopold Godowsky, Vladimir Horowitz, Ignacy Paderewski, and Sergei
Rachmaninoff.” It has even been reported that the pianist Glenn Gould suffered
from severe MPA and tried many types of coping strategies before deciding to
concentrate on a recording career.93 Of course, there may be dozens of other
well-known artists that are not mentioned, perhaps out of a desire to preserve
some kind of myth that musicians are completely comfortable with themselves
as they perform. Or maybe the discussion of MPA was not acceptable until after
the creation and outlet of the domain of psychology. In any case, studies show
that several musicians at various stages of the music profession experience MPA
in some form and at some point during a music career.

An abundance of research investigates MPA present in students attending
various schools of music. One study at an anonymous American university
music school shoWed that 21% of the students and faculty reported having
”marked distress,” 40% reported ”moderate distress,” 17% had ”marked
impairment,” and 30% experienced ”moderate irnpairmen .”"‘ In a study
comparing the MPA experienced by students, amateurs, and professionals, it was
found that students had the highest levels of MPA.95 Another study comparing
amateurs and students with the same or similar years of experience showed that
students still exhibited higher levels of anxiety. Perhaps this is due to the
element of evaluation that all students face while in school.

Professional musicians serve as subjects for MPA research as well. One
study found that anxiety became such a disability for three full-time professional
musicians that they had to quit performing.” A study conducted among

members of a professional orchestra in the Netherlands found that 59% of the

’2 Valentine, p. 168.

’3 Ostwald, Avery, and Ostwald, p. 341.

" Wilson and Roland, p. 48.

’5 Andrew Steptoe and Helen Fidler, ”Stage Fright in Orchestral Musicians: A Study of
Cognitive Behavioural Strategies in Performance Anxiety,” British Journal of

Psychology 78, (1987): 248.

" Duncan B. Clark and W. Stewart Agras, ”The Assessment and Treatment of Performance

Anxiety in Musicians,” American Journal of Psychiatry 148, no. 5 (1991): 604.

 

40

 

questioned musicians had been affected by MPA, and 10% of those performers
experienced anticipatory anxiety weeks prior to a performance.” In this same
study, 55% of the anxious musicians questioned had experienced a negative
influence of MPA sometime during their career. Eighteen of these musicians
reported auditions as being an obstacle, and 24 performers admitted they were
less active in participating in public performances than they should or would if
they did not have such severe MPA.98 Interestingly, among these musicians,
there was no difference found in gender, and there was no relation between age
and MPA or experience and MPA.99 Performers with higher anxiety levels
reported a more negative influence on performing than those with lower
anxiety. Those with low lyfl’A felt that anxiety had a positive influence on
performing.loo

As the above research shows, music performance anxiety is not confined
to one type of musician. It is not just students or amateurs who experience MPA.
Some of the biggest names in the music industry suffer from anxiety. Luckily,
MPA research has also begun to study some methods of coping that musicians
have developed over the course of their careers. The next section will outline

some of these basic methods currently employed and / or recommended.

COPIN G METHODS101

In a study by scholar Mary L. Wolfe, 478 coping strategies were suggested
by various musicians.102 It would be impossible to cover that number of
strategies, but it is encouraging to know there are so many ways a musician can
deal with MPA. The strategies employed by each individual will vary, because

the degree to which any musician experiences MPA depends on so many factors.

’7 Wilson and Roland, p. 48.

’° van Kemenade et al., p. 558.
’9 Ibid., p. 558.

‘°° Ibid., p. 558.

m See Appendix G.

"’2 Valentine, p. 174.

 

41

A condensed listing of strategies was proposed by music psychologists Warren
Brodsky and John A. Sloboda and includes: Alexander and Feldenkrais
Techniques, Aerobic exercise, anxiety management training, attenfion focusing,
autogenic training, cognitive systematic desensitization, development of interests
and hobbies outside music, exposure to performance situations, mental
rehearsal, muscle tension and finger temperature feedback, nutrition therapy,
positive self-statements, prayer, relaxation training, self-hypnosis, stress
inoculation therapy, systematic rehearsal, and yoga.‘°3 This introductory study
will organize a few of the most common coping strategies into the following
four categories: behavioral methods, cognitive methods, educational approach,
drug treatments, and finally comprehensive approaches.
Behavioral Methods

Behavioral coping methods include relaxation techniques, biofeedback,
systematic desensitization, lifestyle changes, and pre- and post-performance
routines. Controlling our body’s physical responses to anxiety can have an effect
on our behavioral and mental responses.
Awareness of Body Cues

One method for dealing with this requires us to be aware of cues that are
sent from the body. Several cues have already been listed. But one major body
indication that deserves a separate discussion is tension. As any instrumentalist
or vocalist knows, tension is one of the most complained-about inhibitors of a
good performance. Muscle tension creates nerve tension, which in turn makes
muscles rigid when trying to play or sing. For example, instrumentalists require
fine motor skills when executing technical passages. This task is made difficult if
fingers tense and begin to shake, leaving the performer to feel out of control.
Sports psychologists warn that performers are often unaware that there is too

much tension until it is too late)“ Performers must learn to feel when muscles

:15 Valentine, pp. 172-3.
‘°‘ Harris and Harris, p. 51

 

42

 

 

 

   

 

are unnecessarily contracting and determine how to relax them. Right now, for
instance, do you feel any of your muscles contracting? If so, do you need to be
using those muscles? If muscle contraction occurs when those very muscles are
not needed, relaxation can be difficult to achieve. This could ensure constant
body tension, and if performers’ bodies are continuously tense, it may be
extremely difficult to discover where muscle tension exists. One method used by
athletic and music performers is to create tension in a specific muscle group, and
then let go of that tension. This exercise teaches the body to notice the feel of
tension and how to achieve the sensation of relaxation.105 Once the tense areas
are identified, performers work on letting go of contracted muscles and relaxing
as much as possible. This exercise builds muscle memory of what the body
should feel like without an overabundance of tension. With practice, this will
happen automatically.
Breathing Exercises

Another behavioral technique involves learning how to relax through
deep breathing exercises. As the performer inhales, he or she will take note of
any bodily tension. As the musician becomes aware of this tension, the goal is to
try and let it go through exhalation; with each breath, more tension is let go.
Performers are encouraged to think only about the breath. By allowing the
mind to focus on only one thing (breathing), anxious thoughts that create
tension will slow. While doing this breathing exercise, it is recommended that
the musician imagine his or her body being in a completely relaxed state. This
image will encourage the body to respond and the performer will begin to feel
increasingly relaxed. This is an example of the mind/ body connection working
in a beneficial way. To encourage the body to release tension further, it can also
help the musician to imagine a certain environment that makes him or her feel

relaxed.”5 The memory of how it feels to be in a relaxing environment will help

"’5 Harris and Harris, p. 53
‘“Ibid., pg. 72

 

43

lessen unnecessary tension. Relaxation techniques can be used at any time
before, during and after a performance.
Biofeedback

Biofeedback has been used by many musicians to gain insights into where
and when tensions manifest in the body. This technique involves hooking up to
an electromyography (EMG) machine which measures the electrochemical
activity in muscles.” When using this machine, the musician receives a visual or
aural representation of any tension detected while performing, which brings the
performer’ s awareness to the tension that he or she creates while performing.
He or she may then learn to relax those muscles in a practice or performance
situation. Unfortunately, this kind of technology is not always readily available,
or even affordable, to the wide public.
Systematic Desensitization

Performers may also try introducing themselves to different anxiety-
causing levels of performing. This is known as systematic desensitization.
Performers are encouraged to first learn how to do muscle relaxation training.
Then, musicians imagine playing an easy piece to family and friends. Once that
scenario feels comfortable, the performer imagines a more challenging situation,
such as a performance in front of a studio class or in a master class. The
individual continues to imagine various performance scenarios, with the goal to
remain calm and relaxed through the process. The final stage would be to
actually perform in each of those types of situations.“
Lifestyle

Lifestyle can play a large role in how musicians feel before, during, and
after a performance. Nutrition is something that is important whether an

individual is a performer or not. Excessive intake of sugar, salt, fatty foods,

"7 Alice G. Brandfonbrener and James M. Mjelland, ”Music Medicine,” in The Science 8
Psychology of Music Performance: Creative Strategies for Teaching and Learning , ed. Richard
Pamcutt and Gary E. McPherson (New York: Oxford University Press, 2002), 93.

W“ Wilson and Roland, p. 52.

 

caffeine, alcohol, etc. can dramatically affect a performance. Musicians who do
not drink enough water before a performance may find that as adrenaline kicks
in, the mouth gets dry and muscles may begin to shake. The amount of sleep a
musician gets the night or even the week before a performance can affect energy
levels, concentration, and musical awareness in a performance. Many musicians
have learned to monitor their lifestyles before a performance to ensure a greater
chance of performance success.
Cognitive Methods

Cognitive coping strategies can include psychotherapy or counseling,
imagery and mental rehearsal, setting realistic and achievable goals, and learning
to change certain cognitions (viewing anxiety as a positive rather than a
negative, replacing negative with positive self-statements).
Psychotherapy/Counseling

One of the more popular cognitive coping methods is seeking out a
psychologist or professional counselor. Talking with a psychologist is a great
way for musicians to work through any anxieties due to performing, and also
any deeper issues from childhood that need attention. In a study by researchers
Duncan B. Clark and W. Stewart Agras, 25% of the musicians questioned
reported that they had sought psychological counseling for MPA with a 60%
success rate.109 While speaking with a counselor may improve emotional issues,
self-confidence, relationships, and a reduction in debilitating MPA, it has been
found that the issues of self-discipline, loneliness, music practice, finances, and job
acquisition were not helped by counseling, perhaps because there is a lack of
understanding of the music world by many general psychologists and
counselors."0 In fact, 72% of music students who participated in a study by C.L.
Barney Dews and Martha S. Williams suggested that there was a need for a

specialized counselor who could deal with the needs of musicians, and 63% of the

‘°’ Clark and Agras, p. 598-9.
"“ Dews and Williams, p. 44.

 

45

students questioned stated they would seek the help of such an individual.“‘
Researchers Peter Ostwald, Marc Avery and Lise Deschamps Ostwald suggested
a similar finding in their study of psychiatric problems of musicians. When
discussing the benefits of psychotherapy for treating personality problems and
psychological development, they said,

[p]articipants in psychotherapy must be self-
revealing, emotionally honest, and willing to come to
grips with the vast differences between reality and
fantasy in the psyche. Support, reassurance,
explanation, and interpretation are the tools of the
psychotherapist s trade, and it IS always important to
focus on relevant issues. For this reason, familiarity
with the performing arts is helpful. "2

Perhaps in the future there will be a new field of psychology that allows
musicians to enter into the counseling profession to treat the specific needs of
performers.
A Change in Cognitions/Views

Another way for musicians to cope with the cognitive issues of MPA is to
work with mental views on anxiety and views of themselves. For instance, if a
performer only sees anxiety as negative or debilitating to a performance, then it
will be extremely difficult to allow performance arousal to be facilitative. In
addition, if a performer internally says negative proclamations to him or herself
prior to a performance, the musician will decrease the chance of a successful
performance. Thoughts such as ”I am not prepared for this audition and it will
go badly” should be replaced with ”I will do my best.” The technique of using
positive self-statements will be covered later in this chapter.
Imagery/Mental Rehearsal

Performers may also mentally prepare for a performance by using
imagery, or mental rehearsal to isolate cognitive processes. During a summer

institute for flutists in Lake Placid, New York, Olympic trainees were asked to

"‘ Dews and Williams, p. 43.
"2 Ostwald, Avery, and Ostwald, p. 345.

 

46

converse with musicians about how they prepare for their own performances on
the ski slopes.” Because ski time on the hills is so limited to the trainees, the
athletes had to find creative ways for rehearsing their descents. One of the
athletes described a method by which he made an audio tape of himself skiing.
After recording this sound, he would later listen and imagine himself actually
skiing down the slope. Through listening and visualizing, he memorized each
turn and obstacle, and mentally rehearsed what he needed to do. The next day,
his preparation and performance was much improved due to this mental
rehearsal.

Musicians can apply a similar technique in their practice sessions. For
example, many musicians imagine performing in front of an audience made up
of the people that make them the most nervous. Such people could be teachers,
peers, family members, or anyone for whom they are most afraid to play. A
performer might imagine all of these people in an audience to simulate the
feelings and anxieties that might arise while performing. This helps the
performer to mentally prepare for such feelings.” Scholar Donald
Meichenbaum goes a step further by suggesting that performers also imagine
how they would cope with certain situations that may arise during a

115

performance. This prepares performers even further by allowing them to
employ certain techniques through imagination before actually trying them out
in a real performance situation. This method will be explored further in part two
of this document.
Setting Goa ls

A performer might also set specific performance or practice goals as a
way to combat any phobias about performing. For example, if a musician wants
to prepare for an audition, it could dramatically help that preparation process if
”3 Lake Placid Institute, Flute Session, July, 2000.
"‘ For more information on using this imagery technique, refer to: Eloise Ristad, ”The Book of

Judges,” A Soprano on Her Head (Moab, Utah: Real People Press, 1982), 13-21.
“5 Valentine, p. 176.

 

47

practice is broken into smaller, easily achievable goals. As the performer
achieves each mini-goal, he or she is continually motivated to move to the next
step. According to Wilson and Roland, the technique of goal setfing is one that is
widely employed in the sports realm, and could be applied to music
preparation.“‘5 Goal setting will be a topic covered later in the workbook
portion of this document.
Arousal Control

Recall the Arousal-Performance relationship models. These models
propose that there is an optimal performance level a musician can reach or miss,
depending on the amount of arousal (low, high, or optimal) that is felt prior to
and while performing. In response to these models, researchers have asked
whether arousal is something that could be controlled, as a cognitive approach to
coping with performance anxiety. In fact, researchers Paul Salmon, R. Shrodt
and J. Wright found that eminent performers feel a peak in anxiety just before
the performance rather than during.117 In this case, the coping method requires
the performer to know him or herself in terms of when anxiety is felt. For
instance, do you try to hold anxious feelings back, allowing them to peak during
the performance, or do you allow yourself to feel everything in the hours
preceding a performance? When do you feel the bulk of your performance
nerves? While there is little research on the timing of anxiety, this method could
encourage performers to heighten awareness of the time that the most
debilitative or facilitative anxiety occurs, and it suggests that there are ways to
control and benefit from the anxiety and arousal that we feel to achieve a peak
performance.
Educational Methods

A third category of coping involves the development of programs or

classes to educate student musicians about MPA. There are few music schools

Wilson and Roland, p. 56.
"7 Valentine, p. 176.

 

48

that actually include MPA management courses in their curricula, despite
research which shows the benefits of such programs. The schools that offer
courses on MPA include the Juilliard School of Performing Arts, the Catholic
University of America, College of Staten Island, and the University of Toronto in
Canada. Other schools such as the University of Rochester’ s Eastman School of
Music and the Manhattan School of Music offer career enhancement counseling
specifically for music students, which could help in certain career-related
anxieties. The list is currently growing as music schools all over the country are
constantly adding such programs.

Research in recent years has found that music students are asking for
education on MPA and how to cope with it. Psychologist Linda H. Hamilton
suggests that several performance problems may be alleviated if students are
educated in how to cope with anxiety and are taught methods for achieving
optimal performance levels.118 Scholars Claudia Spahn, Horst Hildebrandt and
Karin Seidenglanz studied the effects of a course on MPA management in Zurich
and found that ”[a]ilments and symptoms should be prevented or beneficially
influenced during professional training at conservatories and music schools
because the high functional flexibility afforded by the students’ young age, as
well as the possibilities of cooperation with teachers, permits prompt diagnosis
and correction of problems.”119 Topics covered in this class include: physiology
of playing, self-management, theoretical lectures and practical exercises, topics
that deal with health problems that manifest themselves in the musculoskeletal
system, and ”Dispokinesis,” a method developed by CD. van de Klashorst for
musicians that is based on neurophysiology and functional anatomy.130 The
results of this study showed that there were positive effects on the psychological

 

“' Hamilton, pp. 70-1.

"9 Claudia Spahn, Horst Hildebrandt, and Karin Seidenglanz, ”Effectiveness of a
Prophylactic Course to Prevent Playing-Related Health Problems of Music Students, Medical
Problems of Performing Artists 16, no. 1 (2001): 24.

m Ibid., p. 25.

49

and physical health of the students, and their ability to cope with performance
issues improved.121
Drug Treatments

Many performers discuss the use of beta blockers, alcohol, and other legal
or illegal drug intake prior to performing. The pharmacological approach to
treating MPA can be controversial, and this document will not promote in any
way the use of alcohol or illegal drugs as a coping method. However, it is
important to know that many performers do find the use of such chemicals prior
to a performance to be very helpful. Note that using any kind of chemical
substance can be a dangerous and even addictive coping method, depending on
the person. It has also been found that using alcohol and drugs for performance
purposes can impair judgment and may prevent musicians from learning other
long-term coping methods.122

Beta Blockers, specifically, are common in MPA treatment. These
prescription drugs work on the peripheral autonomic system to reduce the
physiological symptoms of performing.123 Many performers feel that if they can
control the physiological symptoms, their performance quality will be enhanced,
and they could increase their chances of meeting optimal playing standards.
Unfortunately, there have been some reports that beta-blockers detract from a
performance by diminishing a musician’s rhythmic control, dynamic control,

124

memory, and concentration. As with any prescription, there may be adverse

side—effects, depending on the individual. For more information, seek the
guidance of a medical professional.
Comprehensive Methods

In an effort to find a way for musicians to cope with MPA, researchers

have found that using only one method does not achieve complete recovery.

’2‘ Spahn, Hildebrandt, and Seidenglanz, p. 29-30.
”2 Valentine, p. 174-5.

"3 Ibid., p. 175.

‘2‘ Ibid., p. 175.

 

50

Rather, a comprehensive approach that works on the mind and the body has
been found to be the most beneficial. Psychologist Edmund Bourne
recommends a comprehensive approach because the causes of anxiety are so
varied. He suggests that a complete cure from anxiety would require an
approach that tackles seven levels of contributing causes.125 These causes
included: a physical level, an emotional level, a behavioral level, a mental level,
an interpersonal level, the ”whole self” or self-esteem, and an existential or
spiritual lev .‘z‘ According to Bourne, ”[a] consistent commitment over time to
practicing strategies that are helpful to you is what will make the difference
between a partial and a complete recovery!“
Strategies That Combine the Cognitive and Somatic

In an article by Elizabeth Valentine, several combinatory strategies are
suggested for coping with MPA. She cites the work of Harry E. Stanton who
recommends strategies that combine the cognitive and somatic. Such strategies
include yoga, tai chi, concentration of the ’Inner Game/‘18 hypnotic relaxation,
breathing induction, visual imagery, and verbal suggestions.129 Duncan B. Clark
and W. Stewart Agras recommend treatment packages that require the
performer to identify negative self-statements and distorted thinking, to
complete homework assignments that modify thought, to view coping models
on slides and audio tapes, to promote relaxation training, and to encourage
musicians to face feared performances.130 Elizabeth Valentine recommends
further that performers distinguish between good (facilitative) versus bad
(debilitative) anxiety, decide whether steps can be taken to reduce anxiety,
become self-reliant, and to consider physical, behavioral and positive thinking

 

"5 Bourne, p. 51.

‘2‘ Ibid., pp. 52-3.

"7 Ibid., p. 66.

‘2' See Barry Green with Timothy C. Gallwey, The Inner Game of Music (Garden City, NY:
Doubleday, 1986).

‘2’ Valentine, p. 175.

‘3” Ibid., p. 177.

51

techniques.131

There are many challenges that performers face when combating MPA. It
has been suggested that the quest for perfection is a socially accepted behavior in
many musical realms.132 Therefore, the challenge becomes an internal endeavor.
If the thought of others cannot be controlled, then musicians must decide what
they think of themselves. Once they truly know themselves, they can decide
which coping strategies would work best for performance success. A great way
for performers to learn about themselves could be through journaling.

Part Two of this study will present what a journal is, what it can do for
you, and what is needed for this coping method. After acquiring some
information on music performance anxiety and the ways in which musicians
have dealt with it in the past, it is finally time to discuss how journal writing
could be beneficial in this process. You will be given an idea of the origins of
journal writing as an exercise used for coping with life issues. Then, an
explanation will be given as to what a journal is, what a journal can include in its
contents that will help musicians, and what journals can ultimately accomplish.
Finally, the last section consists of writing exercises to help with getting started
on your own journal.

Journal Writing

In 1977, Psychologist Ira Progoff widely promoted journal writing as a
way for psychic healing.133 As a result, the use of journals in psychotherapy has
been developed over the last few decades. Patients write droughts, feelings, and
observations of themselves in between sessions with a therapist. These journals
are then used by patients to analyze themselves and to keep back of progress as
they deal with emotional challenges. In 1989, psychologist James W. Pennebaker

 

‘3‘ Valentine, p. 178.

‘32 Mor, Day, Flett, and Hewitt, p. 221.

'33 Stephen J. Lepore and Joshua M. Smyth, ”The Writing Cure: An Overview,” in The Writing
Cure: How Expressive Writing Promotes Health and Emotional Well-Being , ed. Stephen J.
Lepore and Joshua M. Smyth (Washington DC: American Psychological Association, 2002), 6.

52

introduced ”Expressive Writing” as a way to cope with the negative effects of
anxiety and emotional stress, but also to deal with physical symptoms associated
with medical conditions such as asthma, rheumatoid arthritis, and even cancer.134
Patients using Pennebaker’s Expressive Writing spend 20—30 minutes several
fimes a week writing about their deepest thoughts and feelings about an anxiety
causing event.

A few studies look at the benefits of keeping a journal. In the book The
Writing Cure: How Expressive Writing Promotes Health and Emotional Well-Being,
edited by Stephen J. Lepore and Joshua M. Smyth, several researchers remark on
the writing benefits that have been calculated and tested. These researchers
cover emotional benefits as well as the medical or physical benefits of Expressive
Writing. In an article on blood pressure, for instance, it was found that persistent
intrusive thoughts or memories and even an attempt to control or avoid these
thoughts may increase a person’s overall arousal on a daily basis (as discussed in
part one), which in turn may increase blood pressure.135 Studies mentioned in
this arficle state that journal writing can serve as a distraction to intrusive
thoughts.136 Writing helps people acknowledge a certain stressful or anxiety-
causing experience and to ease moderate emotions of anger, depression, or any
others that are deemed negative. Any decrease in negative emotion levels will
decrease blood pressure. Ultimately, it is suggested that people who write have
less chronic arousal.137 For musicians, this could lead to many benefits.

Another way journals are helpful is in the regulation of emotions. In an
article by scholars Stephen J. Lepore, Melanie A. Greenberg, Michelle Bruno, and
Joshua M. Smyth, emotion was viewed on a continuum that included groups of

 

13‘ Lepore and Smyth, p. 4.
‘35 Karina Davidson, Amy R. Schwartz, David Sheffield, Ronald S. McCord, Stephen J. Lepore,

and William Gerin, ”Expressive Writing and Blood Pressure,” in The Writing Cure: How
Expressive Writing Promotes Health and Emotional Well-Being , ed. Stephen J. Lepore and
Joshua M. Smyth (Washington D.C.: American Psychological Association,2002), 22.

‘3‘ Davidson, Schwartz, Sheffield, McCord, Lepore, and Gerin, p. 22.

‘3’ Ibid., pp. 23-4.

53

people who under-regulate, optimally regulate, and over—regulate their
emotions.138 People who under-regulate their emotions lack control, in varying
degrees, over their responses to any emotion-provoking events. For instance,
these people experience a higher intensity of emotions on a regular basis, their
arousal levels are exaggerated, they tend to act on impulse, their physiological
systems are working on overload which can result in cumulative damage to
these systems leading to further disability in adapting to anxiety in the future,
they run an increased chance of suffering from disease and health disorders
(such as asthma, arthritis, coronary artery disease), and they can also have
interpersonal problems as a result of dealing with such hostility, anxiety, and

139

depression. Over-regulators, on the other hand, tend to avoid or suppress any

emotional responses to an anxiety-provoking event. Over-regulators also avoid
getfing physiological and/ or mental help as their efforts are preoccupied with
avoiding the unpleasant situation. This avoidance has been linked to some
disabling of the immune system, which increases the chances of catching illnesses

140

or easily getting worn down. Lepore et al. suggest that writing in a journal

helps over and under-regulators find a balance in emotion regulafion. Writing
brings attention to issues that need to be confronted, facilitates in the process of
expressing emotions in a healthy and beneficial way, moderates the mental and
physical behaviors associated with anxiety reactions, and allows a person to
restructure the cognifive processes he or she once held about certain anxiety-
provoking stimuli.“1

Aside from regulating emotions, journal writing can also help in self-

regulation, which includes the ability of a person to pursue goals, comprehend

‘3' Stephen J. Lepore, Melanie A. Greenberg, Michelle Bruno, and Joshua M. Smyth, ”Expressive
Writing and Health: Self-Regulation of Emotion-Related Experience, Physiology, and
Behavior,” in The Writing Cure: How Expressive Writing Promotes Health and Emotional
Well-Being, ed. Stephen J. Lepore and Joshua M. Smyth (Washington D.C.: American
Psychological Association, 2002), 101.

‘3’ Ibid., p. 101.

‘“ Ibid., p. 101.

“‘ Ibid., p. 103.

 

54

feedback, and allow for appropriate behaviors to unfold.“2 According to
psychologist Laura King, a traumatic experience can disrupt a person’s self-
regulation. This may mean a change in values or beliefs, a difficulty to
comprehend feedback after an emotional disruption, and an abundance of
intrusive thoughts or emotions to keep self-regulation from occurring. Writing
is a cathartic act that allows the release of feelings, thoughts and perceptions
about an event. Getting such perceptions onto paper has been correlated with a
reduction in physical illness and health problems, and a better working immune
system.“3

Some research focuses on the benefits writing has over adjustment to
college life. One study found that a lower grade point average was correlated
with more intrusive or avoidant thoughts in college freshmen.” In fact,
students who wrote about negative events had the largest decrease in unwanted
droughts. As a result, the grade point average of those students improved.
Those who wrote only about positive events did not benefit as much as those
writing only about negative events.145 Expressive writing helps people deal widr
the memories drat linger after an anxiety-provoking event. People associate
emotions with certain memories, and when writing about such events, drey
allow those emotions to be acknowledged and processed. Writing about
emotions also helps to organize memories and emotions that would otherwise
be jumbled and disorganized. It is presumed that a lack of organization often
causes intrusive droughts that have not been dealt widr and integrated into life

experiences.”3 Memories of a stressful event also become highly accessible.

“2 Laura A. King, ”Gain Without Pain? Expressive Writing and Self-Regulation,” in The
Writing Cure: How Expressive Writing Promotes Health and Emotional Well-Being , ed.
Stephen J. Lepore and Joshua M. Smydr (Washington D.C.: American Psychological
Association, 2002), 120.

“3 Ibid., p. 121.

“‘ Kitty Klein, ”Stress, Expressive Writing, and Working Memory,” in The Writing Cure: How
Expressive Writing Promotes Health and Emotional Well-Being , ed. Stephen J. Lepore and
Joshua M. Smyth (Washington D.C.: American Psychological Association, 2002) 140.

“5 Ibid., pp. 139-40.

“‘ Ibid., pp. 140-3.

 

55

People mentally categorize them in a place drat is separate from odrer
cognitions. These memories tend to keep popping up until they are integrated
into preexisting knowledge or experiences.“’ Avoiding such thoughts or
feelings only promotes the continuation of intrusion. Writing about such
feelings and thoughts can help to organize drem, to allow a person to feel the
event in its entirety, and finally to put the experience, accompanied by all the
emotions, to rest.“8

Overall, a journal can help a performer become more confident. As you
record thoughts and feelings, you will become aware of who you are and how
you react to life. Writing will enable you to learn how to criticize yourself in an
objective and friendly way. As you write about goals, you will also learn to
dream and imagine how you want life to be. Visualizing your wants is a
powerful way to achieve them. Finally, journaling is a way to vent about the
negative and still find ways to record the positive aspects of life. In fact, striking
a balance between writing about the positive and negative events in life is a
critical component to journal writing.
Positive Versus Negative Writing

Research shows drat in times of bereavement, it is necessary for people to
experience positive as well as negative emotion. It is suggested drat the
expression of negative emotion is less important than acquiring an
understanding of the events drat have occurred and creating a story. This story
must involve positive insights for effective adjustment after the traumatic
event.“9 Finding good in the midst of a moment of despair can aid in the coping
process, to allow a person better adjustment and more effective adaptation, to
help individuals separate dremselves from the trauma, and to accomplish

personal growth.150 In a study by Laura A. King and KN. Miner, subjects were

“7 Klein, p. 143.
“' Ibid., pp. 144-5.
"’ King, p. 124.

‘5” Ibid., p. 125-6.

 

56

asked to write only about the perceived benefits of a trauma, while others wrote
only about the trauma itself. While both groups showed improvement from the
writing assignment, those who wrote only about the positives benefitted from
an increase in positive emotion. They also gained insight by having to cast a

151

different light on such a negative experience. By dwelling on the positive, a
happy ending is created, which then allows life to move forward.

Making the decision to deal with your own fears or anxieties about
performing can be exdemely challenging. Simply making the decision drat you
want to become a stronger performer is an admission drat you do have anxieties
or something drat keeps you from performing at your best. Remember drat
MPA can cover a broad continuum of symptoms from simply not playing up to
your potential, to almost canceling every performance because you are so
nervous and cannot control your body. Chances are, if you have read this far,

you have already accepted that you suffer from some degree of music

performance anxiety.

 

‘5‘ King, p. 126.

57

PART II
JOURNALING WORKBOOK

58

Chapter Four
GETTING STARTED

I have come to discover through earnest personal
experience and dedicated learning that ultimately the
greatest help is self-help; drat there is no other help
but self-help — doing one’s best, dedicating oneself
wholeheartedly to a given task, which happens to
have no end but is an ongoing process.

Bruce Lee (1943-1973), Chinese-American actor,

martial artist, author

The journal is a way of connecting. The journal is a
connection of the self with the self. The journal sets
up an inner dichotomy so that one part may write
and one part may read. And since the journal
connection between the two parts is interior, it fosters
an increased sense of awareness of personal
psychology. It becomes a way of observing survival.
It becomes an instrument of survival.152

Journal writing is an act of asking the mind for
revelation of drat which is waiting for attenfion inside
us all?”

Writing a journal allows us to leave a collection of still
lifes drat record our personal journeys.“

We assume responsibility for our growth and assert
our power to deal with our lives.”5

What is a Journal?

”In the act of writing we express what we sense or intuit, and often what
we didn’t know we knew.”‘5" The journal is a record of daily life, and it can be a
way to chronicle experiences, ideas, and reflections. Journal writing is a process
and may help the writer to heal from damage caused by music performance

 

“‘2 Baldwin, Christina, One to One: Self-Understanding Through Journal Writing (New York:
M. Evans and Company,l977), xiv.

"3 Ibid., p. 5.

‘5‘ Ibid., p. 7.

‘5’ Ibid., p. 7.

‘5‘ Mary Louise Holly, Writing to Grow: Keeping a Personal-Professional Journal (Portsmouth,
New Hampshire: Heinemann Educational Books, Inc., 1989), 58.

59

anxiety. Research has already been explored drat supports the healing powers of
writing, but will recording your daily life and droughts really be effective enough
to aid in musical growth and well-being? How could journaling help widr MPA?
It is not realistic to expect that simply writing about daily events will reduce
performance anxiety, nor is it helpful to dwell on the negative drings drat
happened during a past performance. While recording and venting do help,
what is needed is a comprehensive approach to finding where anxieties lie, why
drey exist, and what to do about them. Before giving specific journal writing
exercises, it might help to get an idea of what can be included in the content of a
journal.
Diary

The journal drat this workbook recommends will encompass many
activities. It will be a diary in which you can write your deepest thoughts
concerning anything and everything. You are allowed to complain or vent
widrout anyone finding out. The journal will allow you to record daily events as
you perceive drem to happen, or you may turn the perspective around and
pretend drat you are seeing an event through someone else’s eyes. You can
even contemplate your worst fears without having someone near you tell you,
”you shouldn’t feel drat way.” At various points in your life, there will be certain
issues drat demand your attention, whedrer you have time for drem or not. A
journal is an excellent way to vent about drese issues and become aware of any
actions, droughts, and/ or emotions that you may have be avoiding. Getting
drese issues on paper is one way of letting it all out so that you allow yourself to
focus on odrer demands of daily life.
Friend

A journal is also like having a friend when, and if, you are far from any of
your own. In a manner similar to talking with a friend, you may have actual

conversations widr your journal. These written dialogues may be more in-depth

60

than any you would have widr a friend. Having dialogues with your journal
allows you to be the teacher and the learner. You might find some inner
wisdom drat was previously unknown to you. After re-reading these internal
conversations, you may find ways to monitor your feelings, droughts, and
actions. Sometimes feelings can be hidden or buried until you play the role of
the teacher or parent yourself, which requires drat you listen intently to what
you have to say. Learning to step away from yourself is one of the most
effective ways of becoming more objective and less judgmental about your life.
Carrying on a conversation with yourself on paper is also a way to establish
and/ or understand your inner relationship. Finally, one aspect of conversing
widr yourself is asking questions; this could be extremely helpful when making
tough life decisions.
Practice Log

A journal can be extremely useful in the practice room. Practice time can
be organized, and you can keep track of your accomplishments on a daily basis
to remove doubt as to what portions of music need the most practice. You can
assign specific sections for the next practice session so that practice time is used
efficiendy. It is also important to record what you can play well so that you
come away from a session feeling good. A practice journal rrright also be a great
way to record any suggestions about your playing given by teachers, friends,
judges, etc. Sometimes, feedback about playing can easily be forgotten over
time. Having a written reminder will encourage you to remember and work on
such suggestions. You can later write about how, or if, drese suggestions
worked. In subsequent pracfice sessions, you can continue recording progress
with any newfound techniques.
Record of Goals

Journal writing can be an excellent way to establish goals. In fact, goals

are viewed by some psychologists as ”a window into self-regulatory

61

processes.”157 In other words, specifying goals to yourself will regulate whedrer
you make progress toward that goal or not. As goals are set to paper, you begin
to imagine yourself attaining those goals. Research shows that the likelihood of
attaining goals increases if you visualize attaining drem.‘58 Writing helps to
define and visualize short- and long-term goals and outline the steps needed to
achieve them.159 As a result, future accomplishments seem attainable, and you
may experience heightened motivation in the process. You may also imagine
how you will feel once drese goals are achieved. This puts you in a better mood
for a practice session and readies you for future life events, such as recitals,
concerts, or juries. Goals may include something as sinrple as working a section
of music up to the posted tempo or as complicated as attaining a job with a
symphony. Making a list of goals, and perhaps rrrini-goals, allows you to
visualize what you want to do and how to get drere. After recording drese goals
on paper, it can be thrilling to experience the attainment of your dreams.
Writers be wary, however, for there is a true art to setting goals. It is dangerous
to set goals drat are practically impossible to attain.160 Every time a goal is
missed, we undermine our confidence. We must know ourselves enough to
know which goals are realistic. Furdrer discussion of realistic goal setting will be
included in writing exercises.
Record of Performance Actions, Thoughts, and Feelings

Aside from keeping a record of what is accomplished in the practice room,
a journal can help to acknowledge feelings, droughts, and actions prior to or
relating to a performance. For example, a person might know drat days before a
recital, he or she gets irritable and feels drat everydring in life is overwhelming.

 

"7 King, 127.

‘5‘ Ibid., p. 130.

"9 For more information on the benefits of Visualization techniques, refer to: Shakti Gawain,
Creative Visualization (Novato, California: Nataraj Publishing, 2002).

‘°° For more help with setting goals, refer to: Eviatar Zerubavel, The Clockwork Muse: A
Practical Guide to Writing Theses, Dissertations, and Books (Cambridge, Massachusetts:
Harvard University Press, 1999).

62

Some may wonder whether the planets are somehow aligned so drat everydring
in life ”blows up” right before a performance. If you were to journal during this
time, you may realize that your perceptions of daily life situations simply get out
of control. Before a recital, your attention is so focused on the performance that
any distraction from it sends you into a panic. Once the recital is over, your
attentions can be released and directed toward daily life again, which allows you
to feel more secure. Knowing this about yourself will help to make sense of
your moods and may aid in coping widr your feelings.

You can also learn by recording the droughts you remember having
during a performance. Which droughts distracted you the most? Were drere
any droughts drat surprised you? What captured your attention the most-
mistakes made by your accompanist, a certain audience member, or a noise
coming from someplace in the recital hall? You can learn too by becoming
aware of what your droughts are as you perform. Finally, wridng about your
feelings and thoughts after a performance can help get you drrough what many
call ”post-perforrnance blues.” Not everyone feels depressed after a
performance, but it is common. Knowing how you will react after performing
will help you drrough this time.

Materials
Notebook

Many find drat spiral or book-bound notebooks, found in book stores or
stationary shops serve as useful journals. Aldrough choosing a designer
notebook drat perfectly matches your personality can be fun, this type of journal
may not be practical for the following exercises. Of course, you may use any
journal wrifing materials of your choosing, but you may want to consider drat
this journal, like you, will be multifaceted. It may be best to use a three-ring
binder, no smaller than two inches in drickness and tall enough for standard (10
1 / 2” X 8”) notebook paper with three holes. Then, you can use dividers

63

(insertible tab dividers are recommended), which will be used to divide your
journal into sections. The proposed writing exercises in this workbook are
organized into separate sections. I recommend using these same headers in
your journal: Basic Writing Exercises, Personal/Autobiographical Exercises, Practice
Journal, Achieving Your Goals, Pears/Self-Doubt. Dividing the journal into sections
allows the reorganization of entries later in the process. In one writing session,
for example, you may find that you begin writing about your goals in life, but
then find yourself detailing widr how you feel about the goals that you never
accomplished (which could be placed in the ”Personal” section radrer than
”Goals”).
Pen

If using such generic writing supplies takes the perceived fun out of this
project, perhaps choosing just the right pen will brighten your experience. A
smooth, easy-writing pen rrright work best. If you have to press extremely hard
to make words legible, this may discourage or distract you from writing.
Choose a writing utensil that feels good to use.
Computer

Some writers may prefer to use a computer for their journal writing. The
only requirement is that the computer be transportable. If you have a laptop or
a personal computer that goes widr you everywhere, this would allow you to
add to your journal whenever you need or want. However, if you are
journaling on a non-portable computer, you may find an inability to write when
the mood strikes most. The truly positive aspect of journaling on a computer is
drat everything can be instantly organized into files. If you are considering using
a computer, try typing out one of the writing exercises, and dren try writing out
anodrer by hand. Ask yourself which medium allowed you the most freedom of
thought. Some people feel they can be more free with pen and paper. You may

not feel drat way, but it is worth testing before you commit yourself.

Where to write?

Feel free to take your journal everywhere you go. You never know
when the ”writing-bug” will strike. Some of the places I have been most glad to
have my journal include conferences, summer music festivals, before and after
performances, and any place I go where there are few people I know. This does
not mean drat whenever I go to an unfamiliar place I hole myself up in my hotel
room and avoid any social interaction as I incessantly write in my journal.
Rather, I write in my journal when I feel lonely, if I get an idea after hearing
someone perform or give a speech, or if I am experiencing nerves of my own
before perforrrring. In other words, you may find that as you write, you become
more comfortable writing in various environments. I find drat when I am
outside my true environment, drat is when I get the most accurate view of
myself, because being outside my comfort zone has the benefit of forcing me to
react to unfamiliar situations. My reactions, when reflected upon in the journal,
help me see who I am. I can compare this entry to previous ones and let the
picture I have of myself come into clearer focus. However, if you are
uncomfortable widr the thought of writing when there are people surrounding
you, do not despair. It is more important that you start writing and connecting
with yourself.

How to Start?

Psychologist Edmund Bourne lists five ”N ecessary Ingredients for
Recovery” for people with anxieties or phobias. These ”ingredients,” when
applied to beginning a music performance journal, may help widr getting the
writing process started. The first ingredient is ”Taking Responsibility.”161 This
means drat you accept full responsibility for your MPA. In other words, simply
hoping drat your next performance will go better may not work anymore.

Blaming mistakes on outside factors, such as performance environment or other

 

“‘ Bourne, p. 66

65

people, is also forbidden. You are responsible for how you feel, how you act,
and where your mind wanders at any given moment as you prepare for a
performance. You are making a decision to learn about yourself and what
contributes to performances going well or not so well.

The second ingredient for recovery is ”Motivation.”““2 You must feel
motivated enough to change. This change may include the incorporation of new
habits, like journal writing, or perhaps a change in lifestyle. Another component
of motivation is drat it must propel you to overcome any ”secondary gains drat
keep you stuck.”163 One secondary gain is the feeling drat you do not deserve to
feel normal or to overcome your anxiety. This comes out of a desire to punish
yourself or someone else because you may feel guilty about experiencing MPA.
Another secondary gain is believing drat it would take way too much work for
you to overcome any anxieties. Ironically, if you feel this way, you are simply
adding anxiety to the equation. Keep in mind that your anxiety has been
building for a long time. It took many steps, life experiences, relationships, life
decisions, etc. for drat anxiety to manifest in the form it has taken. To cope with
all of drat, it will take an accumulation of smaller steps to combat your anxiety. It
will not happen overnight. It is a process.

Bourne’s third ingredient for recovery is ”making a commitment to
yourself to follow drrough!“ Knowing drat it is a process when coping with
MPA, are you willing to write in your journal over a long period of time? You
may write for several months, or even years! You may reach a time when you
feel drat you no longer need to write every day, or even every time you
perform. You may use your journal from time to time, depending on the events
in your life, but then you may put it away for a while. Or, you may find drat
writing becomes a daily habit drat you truly enjoy. Either way, it is important

 

"'2 Bourne, p. 69.
"’3 Ibid., p. 69.
“‘ Ibid., p. 70.

66

for you to coth to following drrough widr your desire to deal widr MPA. You
may experience setbacks or a lessening of motivation, but this is normal.

”Willingness to Take Risks” is the fourdr ingredient.165 You must be
willing to experiment widr your journal. Some of the writing exercises in this
workbook may or may not help you. Every person is different. Furdrer, every
person’s needs are different. It is wordr experimenting to learn about yourself
and what you need. No one can tell you what will or will not work for you.
Some of these writing assignments may make you feel uncomfortable; you may
find yourself facing situations that you have been trying to avoid. Experiment
with letting go, relinquishing control of your feelings, and learning to flow with
physical manifestations that may arise. Not only does drat apply to writing in
your journal, but you may find drat it also rings true for performing.

The fifth ingredient is particularly applicable to the purpose of the
workbook; ”defining and visualizing your goals for recovery” asks you to
visualize the changes drat would take place in your life after learning to cope
widr MPA.166 Bourne proposes asking yourself the following questions: ”What
are the most important positive changes I want to make in my life? What would
a complete recovery from my present condition look like? Specifically, how will
I drink, feel, and act in my work, my relationships widr others, and my
relationship with myself once I’ve frrlly recovered? What new opportunities will
I take advantage of once I’ve fully recovered?”7 Bourne asks drat you write
what you visualize on a piece of paper. Write about how your life will look
when you know how to manage your performance anxiety. Our chances of
recovering are made stronger if we can actually imagine it happening. I have
heard that ”seeing is believing.” To that cliche, I would like to add drat believing

is achieving.

 

“5 Bourne, p. 70-1.
‘“ Ibid., p. 71.
"7 Ibid., p. 71.

67

Here are a few more things to consider before getting started: 1.) Put a
date on everything you write! A date is always nice to know when re-reading any
passages. This lets you know when you had any setbacks or when you
experienced great achievements. 2.) Consider titling everything. You may not
drink of a title until after you are finished with an entry. A title will help you
organize all entries into the sections of your journal. 3.) Keep a list of other topics
that may not be covered in this workbook that strike you. You may find that as you
write, you drink of your own writing exercises. This is an excellent direction to
take. As stated before, only you know what you need. If you have a day in
which you experience ”writer’s block,” refer to your list in the back and pick a
topic. 4.) If you are having a hard time keeping up with your writing, schedule a time to
do it. Make it a priority for yourself. Make writing as necessary for your
survival as eating, badring, or practicing. You do not need a lot of time for each
writing session. You may find drat you sneak writing drroughout your day. Or,
you may prefer to write after your day has ended. Eidrer way, find the time and
get started. Happy writing!

68

Chapter Five
BASIC WRITING EXERCISES

Never be afraid to try somedring new. Remember,
amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
Author unknown

Expect your every need to be met, expect the answer
to every problem, expect abundance on every level,
expect to grow spiritually.

Eileen Caddy, spiritual writer

If you have never written in a personal journal, it may be beneficial to
start widr some basic writing exercises. These can be viewed as warm-ups for
when you feel ready to write specifically about your performing experiences.
These exercises may also be good for days when you want to write, but are not
sure how to start. You may find that in the course of doing a basic exercise, you
realize drat you need to focus on a specific aspect of your life drat is troubling
you or needs attention. All of drese exercises may be adapted to fit your needs.
What works for one person may or may not work for you. The following
exercises also represent distinct styles of journal writing.

Letter writing

The first exercise asks drat the writer compose a letter that will go
unsent. Letter writing is a great tool to use in many situations. Composing
unsent letters to friends or family widr whom there may be unresolved issues
can help you to decide what needs to be said, if you do not feel strong enough or
are unclear about what you would say in a live conversation.
Flow Writing/Stream of Consciousness

When people drink of journal writing, drey usually imagine someone
quietly filling in the pages of a book widr droughts drat come naturally to his or
her mind. This is what is known as flow writing or stream of consciousness.

Many keep a diary when drey are young. They use the diary to record the

69

droughts or concerns collected during the day. This flushing out of droughts
and feelings not only helps to calm the mind before going to sleep, but can also
help people, at any age, to learn about themselves, especially as entries are
revisited after some passage of time. Flow Writing is an extremely important
exercise, but for some the thought of writing widrout much structure may be a
intimidating. The wrifing exercises presented in this workbook are intended to
help overcome any reservations about this type of writing and to allow droughts
on anxiety to flow.

Dialoging

Anodrer exercise involves having a written dialogue widr odrer people,
widr inanimate objects, or widr yourself. If you have never carried on a
conversation with yourself, this exercise may seem a bit strange. However,
much can be learned about yourself in the process. You may offer great advice
to yourself when taking on different roles and allowing your inner wisdom to
show through.

Variations on these exercises will be found drroughout the following
sections. I highly recommend drat if you drink of your own writing exercises,
try them! You never know what you will learn about yourself and what will
help you the most.

Listing

Another type of journal writing involves making lists. Many people
make ”to do” lists when drey have an abundance of tasks to accomplish. In a
particularly stressful time, lists can help to keep a record of not only what has to
get done, but also what has been accomplished already. Checking an item off a
list can be extremely safisfying and can alleviate any pressure drat can mount
when a lot of little tasks need your attention. Aside from helping keep track of
household errands, lists are also beneficial for keeping track of life goals. What
are your dreams or goals? What tasks need to be completed as you strive to

70

achieve a certain goal? Breaking goals into smaller steps can help make your

dreams seem even more attainable and alleviate any anxiety concerning what
needs to be done in the process of completing drat goal. There will be several
Listing exercises proposed geared toward dirrrinishing anxiety.

71

Exercise 1: Letter Writing

Life is raw material. We are artisans. We can sculpt
our existence into somedring beautiful, or debase it
into ugliness. It’ s in our hands.

Cathy Better

Like many musicians, you have noticed that praying to the recital gods for
a successful performance does not always produce the desired results. If you are
willing to try somedring new, dren journal writing may be a good path for you
at this point. Before writing anything, it may be a good idea to clarify what it is
you hope to achieve widr this journal. The very first exercise entails writing a
letter to your new journal explaining what you want from it. What do you hope
to accomplish from writing in this journal? In what ways do you wish to grow
stronger? In what ways do you hope drat you will look at your life differently
after writing in this journal for a period of time?

You may drink of this very first exercise as a contract or mission
statement you are setting widr your journal. You may want to make a list of the
drings you hope to address during this writing process. Your list may include
such things as ”I hope to become a stronger performer,” ”I hope to become
more confident,” or ”I wish to discover what I can do to achieve more successful
performances.” What do you need from your journal? Why do you wish to
write? Once you have a solid letter to your journal drat clearly states the
objectives of your project, sign it and go on to another exercise. Do not be
alarmed if you think of new objectives or decide to elirrrinate odrers as you write.
You may always revise your contract. Your ideas are valid as long as you know
what you desire to accomplish. This will help to keep you on track with your
goal(s).

72

Exercise 2: Flow Writing] Stream of Consciousness

Most people diffuse their psychic energy (attention) in
hundreds of random ways. Those who flow, focus
dreir psychic energy intentionally upon the task at
hand. It really boils down to knowing your goal,
concentrating upon it, remaining determined and
having the self-discipline to complete what you are
doing.
Dick S utphen

One of the most common journal exercises involves writing in a stream of
consciousness style. In this exercise, you simply write whatever is on your mind.
There are no limits as to what or how long you may write. Some people have
expressed a slight intimidation about writing in this way. The explanation
offered by many is that drey feel pressured to make their flowing droughts into
something meaningful, deep, profound, and even artistic. Perhaps the models of
Ernest Hemingway, Anne Frank, or even Robert Pirsig permeate the mind when
contemplating keeping a record of your own life. You might ask, ”is my life
really drat interesting?”

The important thing to remember is that this journal is for you. There are
no requirements of any sort for being allowed to participate in flow writing.
Most people never show their journals to anyone, unless a sneaky friend or
family member has difficulty in resisting the temptation to read. Keeping a
journal is not about perfection or deep philosophical drought. Often, entries that
seem inconsequential at the fime turn out later to be the most profound
statements. This is why the activity of allowing your mind to flow without any
kind of editing is so important.

If you are still nervous about this style of writing, try the following
exercise: Take an event that has happened in your life, eidrer recently or in the
past, and write it drree times. The first time, you will write the event in one

sentence. For the second time, write it in a paragraph. Finally, write an entire

73

page. Read what you have written, and notice how this event changed as you
added to the story. You may even want to reflect on the things you notice as

you reread.168

 

“3 Adapted from: Bonni Goldberg, Room to Write: Daily Invitations to a Writer’s Life (New
York: Jeremy P. Tarcher/ Putnam a member of Penguin Putnam Inc., 1996), 127.

74

Exercise 3: Dialoguing

Learn to get in touch widr the silence widrin yourself
and know drat everydring in this life has purpose.

Elisabeth Kubler—Ross (1926-), Swiss-born
American psychiatrist

There is an inner wisdom drat exists within all of us. Whether you
consider this wisdom to be instinct, intuition, or an inner voice, it is important to
consider that you already know what needs to happen or what you must do in
any situation. Sometimes you can get too busy to pay heed to this inner voice.
These are the times when your inner self needs to be heard most. It may help to
learn how to have a dialogue widr yourself, as if you are conversing widr a
friend. You may ask yourself questions, give advice, or hold a debate.
Conversing with yourself may lead to your truest thoughts and feelings, which
can be an invaluable activity during a moment of high anxiety.

If you are unsure how to have a dialogue with yourself, you may want to
start by picking a person widr whom to have a written conversation. For
example, you could pretend you are your best friend as you ask for advice on
somedring. Write the question or quandary and read it to yourself. Then,
respond with the answer or advice you drink your friend would give. Or, have a
dialogue widr your journal. This is akin to the tradition of writing ”Dear Diary.”
Imagine how your journal would respond to your requests. Consider how well
your journal knows you based on your previous personal entries. There are
many people and things widr which to have written conversations, including
yourself. When dialoguing, you may also want to try responding with the first
thing drat pops into your head. This will open you up to conversing widr your
subconscious, which may lead to surprising and helpful answers.

You may also want to try playing ”devil’s advocate” widr yourself. Try to
see a troublesome situation from the opposite point of view. Support this

75

perspective as if you truly believed it. Try to reach beyond yourself for
explanations for certain life situations. You might be surprised at the new
insights drat arise drrough this challenge.

76

Exercise 4: listing

You must see your goals clearly and specifically
before you can set out for drem. Hold drem in your
rrrind until they become second nature.
Les Brown (1945-), American speaker, author,
trainer, motivator lecturer

As discussed earlier, writing lists can clarify goals and commit to paper the
things you wish to accomplish. There are many occasions when listing can be
done. For example, when going to the grocery store, the chances of forgetting
something needed can be minimized by writing a list. As items are placed in the
cart, they are also crossed off the list. The shopping trip is finished when all
items are crossed off. Radrer than wandering around the store waiting to spot
and remember weekly purchases, the list saves time. and perhaps money,
because there is less distraction caused by advertisements or aisle displays for
products that are tempting, but not needed.

Writing lists for journal entries can serve similar functions. They allow
you to account for the drings you need in your life and career. Journal lists
usually have specific topics, such as ”goals for the next year,” ”things drat went
well during a performance,” etc. The following listing topics are designed to help
you figure out who you are. Make a list for the following topics:

Things I would do if -I had time

Things to do when I am depressed/ alone
Things I want

Principles to live by

Things drat make me cry

Things drat make me laugh
Life goals for the next year, six mondrs, three mondrs, mondr, week”9

Feel free to use any of your own list topic ideas. The more brainstorming you
do, the more free you will feel. You may even want to take your lists and post

them someplace for referral.

 

“9 Adapted from: Kathleen Adams, Journal to the Self: Twenty-Two Paths to Personal Growth
(New York: Warner Books, Inc., 1990), 134-7.

77

Exercise 5: Reflections

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must
be lived forward.
Saren Kierkegaard (1813-1855), Danish
philosopher, writer

This last basic exercise can be employed after you have written in your
journal for a while. As discussed earlier, you may not understand some of the
drings that you write at the moment you commit your droughts to paper. You
may still be puzzled days after writing. However, as you allow your thoughts to
remain on paper over time, other life events may trigger some insight into past
entries. You may find drat certain entries present dremes drat recur in your life.
Do you notice any trends before performing? Does your writing reflect
insecurity or negative thoughts as the event approaches? After the
performance is over, does writing became positive again? What would happen
if an effort was made to remain positive as you write prior to a performance?
Perhaps writing positively will help you to feel more confident through anxiety-
causing times.

After writing a considerable amount in your journal, reread past entries.
Take note of any recurring dremes. What is the tone of your writing? Is it all
negative? All positive? Do you see bends in what or how you write depending
on the day of the week or how close you are to a performance? Are drere
people about which you keep writing? Are there any dremes in your writing
that you already knew were recurring cycles in your life? After taking note of
these cycles, brainstorm ways you can deal widr these trends. How can you
notice the recurring dremes as they happen? Are drere any clues for which you
can watch on a daily basis? What will you do if and when you notice these

warnings? Having a plan of action. can make you feel more powerful.

78

CONCLUSION

As you go drrough the rest of the writing exercises in each chapter, notice drat
some of drem resemble the basic writing exercises above. Notice how the
format stays the same, but the purpose or topic changes. You may get several of
your own ideas for journal topics using the proposed formats. Go ahead and try
your ideas! This book is to be used as a guide rather than a formula. Do not
restrict yourself to the writing formats eidrer. Be as creative as you would like.
The worst thing drat could happen when experimenting and taking risks widr

your journal is that you will learn about yourself.

79

Chapter Six
PERSONAUAUTOBIOGRAPHICAL EXERCISES

Many men go fishing all dreir lives without knowing
that it is not fish they are after.
Henry David Thoreau

The purpose of these autobiographical journal exercises is to help you find
out who you are. You will be asked to answer questions such as: What are the
drings that make you the person you are today? How do you react to life
events? Why do you react in the way that you do to drese circumstances? How
do you view yourself? How do you view the world around you? What are the
drings drat you do not know about yourself? Are there any secrets drat you are
trying to keep even from yourself? Overall, what has happened in your past to
make you the person you are today? If you drink you know yourself, then
begin writing! You may make many surprising discoveries, even if you have
been trying to get to know yourself for quite sometime. Knowing who you are
and how you tend to respond to life experiences can help in your understanding
of why you respond to performing the way that you do. Bringing this
awareness to your performing can help you work drrough performance fears. If
you have never contemplated such quesfions, here are some exercises drat may

help widr introductions to yourself.

80

Exercise 1: Who are you?

The first step toward change is acceptance. Once you
accept yourself, you open the door to change. That’s
all you have to do. Change is not something you do,
it’ s something you allow.

Will Garcia

Here is a chance for you to write your autobiography. Where to start?
You probably will not write your life story in a half hour. Rather, you may write
your memoirs over a longer period of time. Here are some suggestions for
getting started.

Exercise a:

Introduce yourself from the drird person.170 Or, how would someone else
describe you? Pick someone from your life and try describing yourself in the
way you drink drat person sees you. What would he, or she, highlight about
you? Is this different from the way you would describe yourself? Try this widr
people from all facets of your life. How does the description change widr each
different person?

Exercise b:

Make a list of all of the drings that you do. List your job(s), hobbies,
favorite activities, etc. When you are finished, make anodrer list of the drings
drat describe who you are. When describing yourself, avoid only listing what
you do. What are your likes and dislikes? How would you describe your
personality? Focus on who you are, not what you do.171
Exercise c:

Write about the events drat have led you to where you are today. Why
did you choose to become a musician? Highlight your happiest performing
experiences. Follow drat widr your most disappointing performances. Who

 

”° Adapted from: Eldonna Edwards Bouton, Journaling From the Heart: A Writing Workshop in
Three Parts. (San Luis Obispo, CA: Whole Heart Publications, 2000), 11-2.
"‘ Adapted from: Edwards, 113-4.

81

were the people drat helped you get to where you are today? Who were the
ones drat stood in your way? Why do you want to continue on this padr? What
helps or hinders you today?

Exercise d:

Write about aspects of your personality you abhor. Remark on the
aspects of odrers’ personalities that you dislike. Do you notice any similarities
between what you dislike about yourself and odrers? Sometimes when
criticizing others, we are noticing aspects of ourselves we dislike and wish to

172

change. Recognizing drese characteristics may help us to be tolerant of odrers

as well as ourselves.

 

”2 Adapted from: Edwards, 15—6.

82

Exercise 2: The Relationship You Have With Yourself

Goals are a means to an end, not the ultimate purpose
of our lives. They are simply a tool to concentrate
our focus and move us in a direction. The only
reason we really pursue goals 18 to cause ourselves to
expand and grow. Achieving goals by dremselves
will never make us happy in the long term; it’s who
you become, as you overcome the obstacles
necessary to achieve your goals, that can give you the
deepest and most long-lasting sense of fulfillment.

Anthony Robbins (1960-), American author,
speaker, peak performance expert

I forgive myself for having believed for so long
that. .I was never good enough to have, get, be what
I wanted.

Ceanne DeRohan

You have to expect drings of yourself before you can
do them.

Michael Jordan (1963-), American basketball player

Are you a friend to yourself? Does this depend on the day or on what
you have accomplished? Confidence often hinges on how you treat yourself on
a daily basis. For example, have you ever had a time when you are running late,
and you mutter somedring like: ”Come on...why do you always have to be so
late?” Or, if you make a mistake in a rehearsal do you drink to yourself: ”Why
did I do drat? I am such an idiot!” Would you say such drings to a friend or
colleague? Would you tolerate such treatment from someone else? If not, then
why would you say such drings to yourself? It is time to look at the relationship
you have with yourself and how you treat yourself each day.

Keep track of the things you say to yourself over the course of a week.
You may want to keep a pen and paper with you at all times for this exercise.
Date each entry and write down what you are doing at the time. Record the
good and bad statements you make internally. After a week, go through this

log. Compare and contrast the good versus the bad comments you say to

83

yourself. How does it make you feel to read this? Are you surprised by
anydring you wrote? Did the good outweigh the bad, or was it the odrer way
around?

Next, answer the following questions: What do you think this says about
the relationship you have widr yourself? Do you treat yourself the same as you
treat others? Better? Worse? Do you support and love yourself
unconditionally? If you make a mistake in a performance, can you forgive
yourself in the same way you would forgive someone else? Are you a good
friend to yourself? What does it mean to be a friend? You may want to define
what you drink a friend is.

Finally, what do you drink all of this says about the relationship you have
widr yourself? Do you want to treat yourself differently? If so, how will you
begin to do so? The better you feel about yourself, the more confidence you will
have for performing. It is important to be on your own side, as if you are
roofing for a team. Begin by being aware of and changing the way you speak to

yourself.

84

Exercise 3: How Do You See Yourself?

When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t

compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
Lao-Tzu (BCE 600-?), Chinese philosopher, founder
of Taoism, author of Tao Te Ching

Happiness is when what you drink, what you say, and
what you do are in harmony.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948), Indian
political/spiritual leader

The image you have of yourself can dramatically affect how you feel
inside. You can learn a lot about your feelings by looking at how you view
yourself from the outside in.

Draw a picture of the way you envision yourself right now. Include as
much detail as possible. Choose any symbols you use or see in daily life drat
could be used to describe yourself furdrer. Avoid any edifing or erasing, and do
not concern yourself widr how it looks or how artistic it may or may not be.
You are committing to paper the image you have of yourself. When you are
finished, take a moment to look at what you have drawn and describe in your
journal what you see in this picture. Comment on what certain aspects of this
picture say about you. Does anydring surprise you? Is there anydring you wish
you had not drawn because of what you drink it says about you? If so, what?

Next, draw a picture of how you drink odrers see you. Or, if someone
else were to draw a picture of you right now, what would it look like? Again,
put as much detail into this drawing as possible. Describe what you drink this
picture says about you in the words of the person or people drat see you this
way. Is there anydring in the picture drat bodrers you? Do you think this is an
accurate representation of you? Compare and contrast the picture you drew of
yourself and the picture of how you drink odrers see you.

Finally, draw a picture of how you would like to see yourself and how

85

you would like odrers to see you. In your journal, describe what you drew.
Why do you include certain elements? How does this picture compare widr the
odrers you drew? Is this picture realistic? Would you be able to become the
person in this picture? Why or why not? Do you like this person better?
Worse? Why or why not? Imagining how you would like to see yourself may
help you realize your dreams. You could even draw yourself actively
participating in your dream job. Imagining can lead to believing, which could
dren lead to reality.

Dreams may also be recorded in this way. Images appear in dreams drat
are often difficult to express in words. Drawing drese images may help to put
the pieces together and formulate an explanation and understanding of the
dream. After drawing your dream, write about what you see. What are your
feelings when looking at this drawing? Do these feelings match the way you felt
during the dream?

There are many times when drawing may allow a greater understanding
of life events. As you continue journaling, you may drink of your own drawing

exercises. This may even inspire the creative side of you as you gain insight.

86

Exercise 4: More Lists

I am responsible for my own well—being,
my own happiness. The choices and
decisions I make regarding my life
directly influences the quality of my
days.

Kathleen Andrus

Thinking specifically of your self as a person and a performer, write lists for the
following:1

Things I like about myself

Things I do well

Ways I beat myself up (sabotage myself)
Achievements/ qualities I’m proud of
Qualities I am not proud of

Things drat disappoint me

Things that anger me

Things that make me sad

My feelings (right now)

Things I would like someone to tell me
Adjectives/ words that describe me
Things for which to forgive myself
Lessons I’ve learned

Things drat make me embarrassed
Things drat make me proud

Decisions I made that turned out well
How I see myself versus how I would life to see myself
Qualities in other people I wish to emulate

 

”3 Adapted from: Adams, 134-7.

87

Chapter Seven

PRACTICE JOURNAL
Routine Before, During, and After a Performance

It takes time to succeed because success is merely the
natural reward of taking time to do anydring well.

Joseph Ross

Many people blame the mistakes drat they make during a performance
on their technical facility or say they did not practice enough. It has been
proverr, however, that a consistent performance is more probable if we learn to
regulate our cognitive skills rather than any other kind of physical experience.
The most crucial step to a good performance is in the practicing. Good practice
leads to good performances. However, it is necessary to determine what is
needed for a peak practice session. This chapter suggests ways you can use your
journal to improve practice sessions, to prepare for performances, and to deal

widr outcomes (good and bad) of performances.

88

Exercise 1: Focusing the Mind in the Practice Room

My modrer drew a distinction between achievement
and success. She said drat achievement is the
knowledge drat you have studied and worked hard
and done the best drat is in you. Success is being
praised by odrers. That is nice but not as important or
satisfying. Always aim for achievement and forget
about success.

Helen Hayes

Many problems when performing are due to a difficulty in concentration.
As you perform, you may be drinking about how you look, who is in the
audience, how long before you will finish, how well the performance is going,
what people drink of your performance so far, etc. The mind moves in so many
directions at once, it is hard to focus only on the task at hand, which is to
perform the music in front of you. During the practice session, there are many
signals drat indicate a lack of concentration. Common warnings of
inattentiveness can include spending more time looking at the clock, drinking
about what still needs to be accomplished by the end of the day, or perhaps
imagining what lunch possibilities are awaiting upon completion of this
rehearsal. Another less obvious cue is when rrristakes made during practice go
unnoticed. These cues need to be taken seriously. If drere is a lack of attention at
this stage in the process, nodring will be accomplished. This is why it is not
impressive to hear that another musician pracfices six hours a day. If this is the
case, is he or she truly concentrating for the entire time? Are the same spots
being practiced over and over again without any improvement? Sports
Psychologists say that ”[i]f the quality of the practice is improved, less time is
needed for practice, and the attention given to the practice by the [performers]
will be much more intense/”7‘ Mental attention is somedring drat musicians can

and need to practice. You may have heard of meditation, but have you tried it?

 

"‘ Harris and Harris, p. 87

89

If you have, keep doing what you are doing. Meditation is one way to quiet the
mind and focus the attention on one thing for an extended amount of time. The
following exercise mimics meditation, but in a written format.

Pick a person, place, or object on which to focus all of your attention.
Describe in detail what / who this is. If you get stuck, go back and read what you
have written and drink about it. This is an exercise that you may want to
frequently revisit, especially if you find your mind wandering during practice
and performance sessions. Each time you do this, try to extend the amount of
time you spend writing. To really test yourself, you may want to try writing and
concentrating widr the television or radio on, or try this in a crowded room or
cafe. See if you can stay focused on the person/ object about which you write. In
theory, this will simulate a performance situation when your mind is being
pulled in many directions at once.

90

Exercise 2: Relaxation

Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of
dreir minds, can change the outer aspects of dreir
lives.
William James (1842-1910), American psychologist,
professor, author

Do you carry around excess tension? How tightly do you grip the
steering wheel when driving? How fast do you walk when going places? How
fast do you drive? As you read this, how much tension are you holding in your
shoulders? Many people are unaware of the tension that is carried with drem
wherever they go. Excess physical tension adds to the tension you may feel
about practicing and/ or performing. It is time to bring awareness to this tension
and begin to let it go.

Body tension not only affects how we feel daily, but also how we feel
mentally.175 In your journal, record when you feel tension in any part of your
body. Make a conscious decision to pay attention to the muscles in your body.
Write down the date, time, what you are doing, where you are, and comment on
what you are drinking at that moment. Do this for a week without making
judgments or finding trends in what you write. After drree to seven days, read
drese entries. Do you notice any trends? What are your thoughts as your
tension increases? Is drere a particular activity that makes you especially tense?
If so, what can you do to release this tension under drese circumstances? Could
you mentally isolate these muscles and relax them? Could you get a massage

from a professional or a friend? Can you do some deep breadring or meditation

 

"5 Relaxation training has been shown to achieve the following: decreased heart rate,
decreased respiration rate, decreased blood pressure, decreased skeletal muscle tension,
decreased metabolic rate and oxygen consumption, decreased analytic drinking, increased skin
resistance, increased alpha wave activity in the brain, reduced generalized anxiety,
frequency/ severity of panic attacks, prevents cumrrlative stress, increased energy level or
productivity, improved concentration or memory, increased ability to focus, reduction of
insomnia / fatigue (sleep is deeper/ more sound), prevention/ reduction of psychosomatic
disorders (hypertension, migraines, headaches, asthma, ulcers, etc.), increased self-confidence,
reduced self-blame, and increased ability to access feelings. (Bourne, pp. 73-4.)

91

for a few minutes to put you in a state of deep relaxation?

While your journal can help to show when you tend to feel stress and
tensiOn, this may not be the final cure for achieving deep relaxation.”6 It has
been found drat a routine of twenty to thirty rrrinutes of deep relaxation can

In odrer words, if we

find the time to let our bodies relax, we will find that physical sensation to be

produce, over time, a generalized state of relaxation.

completely normal, and our bodies will automatically defer to drat relaxed state,
if practiced regularly.

An added bonus of deep breadring is drat it also improves concentration.
For example, as you attempt to focus only on breadring, allow droughts to
wander in and out. It is not necessary to force droughts to stay in place. Allow
thought flow to occur and feel it improve concentration. Next, be aware of how
droughts are drifting. Try to broaden and narrow this mental activity. Then,
take note of how long you are able to hold on to a single thought. With practice,
the ability to concentrate only on one thing at a time will increase.178 Use your
journal to learn how to relax on command and monitor your ability to focus

drroughout a performance or practice session.

 

‘7‘ Bourne details ways in which breadring can bring you to a more relaxed state, how
progressive muscle relaxation can be used, and why deep relaxation is so important for dealing
with any kind of anxiety or phobia. (Bourne, pp. 73-96.)

1" Ibid., p. 73.

‘7‘ Ibid., p. 88-9: This is a technique often used in Raja Yoga, which is considered to be the
science of concentration. Not only is this mental yoga helpful for concentration, but it also helps
to enhance mental capabilities and to develop a photographic memory.

92

Exercise 3: The Practice Session

What we hope ever to do with ease, we must learn
first to do widr diligence.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784), British author

Confidence is preparation. Everydring else is beyond
your control.
Richard Kline

It is a time-honored tradition among music students to compare the
number of daily hours spent in the practice room. Tremendous guilt may ensue
for the student who hears drat a colleague has practiced longer, and pressure
builds to spend more hours in the practice room. The longer students practice,
the more drey congratulate dremselves, even though the risk of developing
physical injuries increases. Eventually, musicians may develop various
performance related maladies drat force them to evaluate time spent in the
practicing. Some combat this quandary by taking frequent breaks throughout
practice sessions. This can be frustrating if the student is unable to accomplish
the same amount of material for lessons or performance. In this case, it is time
to learn how to prioritize.

For this exercise, you will keep track of what you do in the practice room.
Radrer than playing drrough all of the music from start to finish, hoping drat
your fingers will magically find the correct notes, you may benefit from going
directly to the difficult sections, learning to analyze music better, and looking for
sections and patterns drat may help in focusing attention during a performance.
Find the spots drat need the most attention. Put brackets around drese sections
so drey are easily found later.

After practicing, record in your journal what you accomplished. Did you
work certain passages up to tempo? Did you finally get the sound you wanted?
How did you achieve this? Keep track of what needs more attention next time.
Which sections are still weak? What will you do to get drese passages stronger?

93

What seems to be the challenge? Finally, what are your goals for the next
practice session? Make a plan for your next session so you may maximize your
achievements using minimal time. After writing such notes in your practice
journal, you will no longer need to ask: ”What should I practice today?” Music
will be learned more thoroughly, and the chance of learning mistakes will be
lessened. Students may also find drey are accomplishing more music in less time
and that drey feel more confident!

Keeping track of goals and accomplishments when practicing will also
improve private lesson time. You may find specific passages you wish to discuss
with your teacher. Asking such questions will demonstrate the level of drought
you have put into the week’s lesson assignment. You will gain more inside and
outside of the practice room by keeping a record of your goals and
accomplishments.

94

Exercise 4: Recounting Past Experiences

Keep drese concepts in mind: You’ve failed many
times, although you don’t remember. You fell down
the first time you tried to walk. You almost drowned
the first time you tried to swim. Don’t worry about
failure. My suggestion to each of you: Worry about
the chances you miss when you don’t even try.

Sherman Finesilver

Apparent failure may hold in its rough shell the
germs of a success that will blossom in time, and bear
fruit throughout eternity.

Frances Ellen Watkins Harper

As a performance approaches, many musicians start to replay the
mistakes drat have been made during past performances. Have you ever had a
memory slip while performing? Perhaps you completely choked when playing
a technical passage drat you spent hours trying to perfect. These memories
appear in the imagination and are accompanied by the same feeling you had
upon committing such mistakes. Past performance flops can cloud musicians’
minds when trying to get ready to perform. Recounting those times lowers
confidence and reminds performers of the consequences of an imperfect
performance. It is important to look at drese times as learning experiences.
After all, as Albert Camus once said, ”[w]hat doesn't kill me makes me
stronger/”7°
Exercise a:

In your journal, recount your past performance experiences. First, write
about your worst mistakes made during a performance. How did you feel as
drese mistakes happened? How did you handle each situation? Did the
performance come to a crashing halt? Did it go on? Write about how you
would handle drese same mistakes, if drey were to happen again.

Exercise 1):

 

”9 From Quote of the Day: http:/ / cyber-nation.com/ cgi-bin/ victory/ oldquotespl

95

This exercise involves visualization. Pretend you are in the audience
listening to a performer you really admire. Imagine drat the musician makes a
huge mistake drat everyone notices. Have you attended a concert where this
really happened? If so, visualize drat concert. Notice drat the performer(s) kept
going. How long did you let your mind focus on this mistake? Did you forgive
the performer, whom you have respected for years, or did you completely
change your opinion and decide never to listen to him, or her, again? Chances
are, like any audience member, you forgave the performer and recognized that
all humans make mistakes, which includes all of the greatest performers. After
visualizing, write about this experience.

Exercise c:

Finally, pick one of your own mistake—laden performances. Imagine you
are an audience member at this performance. Visualize every detail up to and
including the mistake. Describe what you saw and heard. Forgive the
performer (you) for this mistake and listen as the performance continues. Watch
yourself recover from this mistake and go on widr the performance.

Forgiveness for a mistake or major performance flop can be extremely
challenging. If you do not forgive yourself, it will be difficult to return to the
stage. Audience members do not want to see you fail; drey are on your side. In
fact, if an audience member really wanted to hear a flawless performance, he or
she would simply listen to a compact disc. Luckily, people continue to attend live
performances, despite the mistakes that inevitably happen. Persian rug makers
purposely put one flaw into each rug. Why would they do this? If somedring
were so nearly perfect, why leave a blemish? Perhaps the flaw serves as a
reminder that to be human is to be flawed. After all, making mistakes is how we
learn and grow. Therefore, if you are going to make a mistake, make it a big

one. Think of how much you will grow!

96

Exercise 5: Developing a Performance Routine

He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to

stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one

cannot fly into flying. .
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900), German
philosopher

Elite performers in the music and sports realms often have specific rituals
or routines drat drey practice prior to a performance. For some, the routine may
involve eating or avoiding certain foods days or weeks before performing. For
odrers, a ritualistic walk may be what is needed to achieve optimal performance
status. If you do not currently have a pre-performance routine, you may want
to consider developing one drat helps to prepare you mentally and physically.
Or, if you have a routine, but are not convinced drat it is working, you may want
to learn to become flexible widr it and try somedring new. You can use your
joumal in this process to help figure out which rituals work and which do not.
Exercise a:

Write down all of the pre-performance rituals you currently observe.
Why did you start doing these drings? Do you drink this routine works for you?
Why? Does your routine help your mind to focus on the task at hand?

Exercise b:

What do you want from pre-performance rituals? What do you hope to
accomplish? What do you drink are some activities drat might achieve this?
Make a list of rituals you could do drat might help to get your mind and body
ready for a performance. As you try these, write about the outcome. Based on
drese results, over time, design a pre-performance routine. Feel free to amend,
remove, or add any rituals as you continue learning about yourself. What works
today may not work for your entire career. Keep listening to yourself and keep
track through your writing.

97

Exercise 6: The Power of Suggestion

The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts
make it.
Marcus Aurelius (121-80 ACE), Roman emperor,
philosopher

Words are powerful tools for directing the rrrind’s focus and/ or mood
prior to performing. Such words as ”calrn,” or ”relax,” may be spoken internally
to help quell any pre-performance jitters. Repeating words as a mantra may
help the anxious musician when trying to get the mind to focus and/ or when
preparing to get into the mood of a piece before playing.

Exercise a:

In your journal, make a list of words that put you in a calm place. Repeat
one or two of the most effective words to yourself as you practice so this
becomes habit. For example, if you chose the word ”calm” to repeat, you would
do so prior to performing. Close your eyes as you mentally say this word to
yourself. You may also want to visualize the word as you say it. The longer you
are able to concentrate only on this word, the better focus you may have during
the performance. As you do this prior to a performance, allow yourself to relax
all muscles. Rehearse this activity in the practice room weeks before performing
and try to concentrate for longer periods of time. After the concert, write about
the effects of this activity on your performance. Did this help your ability to
concentrate? Was there anydring you would try differently for next time?
Exercise 1):

Musicians are constantly beholden to words for guidance into the desired
mood for a piece of music. For instance, just to the right of the time and key
signatures, composers often write such words as: energico, allegro, dolce,
gracioso, etc. Such words not only help musicians to understand the

characteristic intentions of the composer, but drey also aid in focusing

98

performers’ minds when performing. As some composers are more generous
widr dreir directives than odrers, it might benefit the musician to drink of
supplemental words that help conjure the desired mood of a piece while
practicing and/ or performing. For each piece / movement you plan to perform
in your next concert or recital, make a list of the words that you think best
describe the mood or character. Write drese words in your music as a reminder.
Before playing your first note, recite the word(s). When the performance is
finished, come back to your journal and comment on the effectiveness of these

words.

99

Exercise 7: Don’t Bite Off More Than You Can Chew

The whole problem widr the world is that fools and
fanatics are always so certain of dremselves, but wiser
people so full of doubts.

Bertrand Russell (1872-1970), British philosopher,
mathematician, essayist

The goal of any performance is to play as well as possible. Some may
even feel that perfection is a requirement for every performance.180 Due to note-
perfect recordings, it is easy for musicians to get caught in this trap of perfection.
Unfortunately, drings always happen during a performance drat are completely
unexpected. Loud and distracting noises in the middle of slow movements,
chattering audience members, unexpected malfunctioning of instruments or loss
of voice, making a mistake in the ”easiest" passage, etc. are just a few examples
of events drat can happen, even drough musicians try dreir best to plan for
anydring. After something unexpected happens during a performance, it can be
difficult to regain concenfi'ation. Have you ever made a rrristake during a
performance and could not seem to stop drinking about it for the rest of the
piece? Once a performer" s mind is distracted like this, it is necessary to find a
way to refocus.

It is unrealistic to expect that you will not make a mistake during a
performance. The more you expect this to happen, the more you may be
disappointed. Write a letter to yourself in your journal. In this letter, gently
remind yourself drat perfection is not the goal of this performance. Radrer, the
goal is to play as well as you can under those performance conditions. Remind
yourself drat it is inevitable drat something will happen drat will distract you
from your music.

Then, pick three aspects of this performance on which you want to focus

the most. This could include tone, rhythm, a specific passage, a mood you want

'3" According Dews and Williams, ”[elvery aspect of music is directly related to a search for
perfection.” (Dews and Williams, p. 46.)

 

100

to convey, etc. Write these three areas of focus in your letter. Tell yourself that
as soon as your mind begins to wander as you play, you will bring it back to one
of these three areas of focus. Consider the weaker aspects of your playing as
tasks to master next time. Focus on the good that occurred as opposed to the
mistakes. After all, with each performance you survive, the stronger you

become!

101

 

Exercise 8: During and After a Performance

If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you
can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in

your ability, and then be tough enough to follow
through.

Rosalynn Carter (1927-), American First lady,
wife of president Iimmy Carter

Obviously, there is not a way for you to consult with your journal during
a performance. However, it is important to be aware of any thoughts or feelings
you have as you perform. As soon as the concert has ended, get to your journal
and write down everything you remember. Did you pick three areas of focus?
If so, did this help you? Did you recite a mantra? If so, how did this work?
Were there any moments that were impossible for you to keep your mind
focused? Why do you think this was so? Did the performance go better than
expected? What do you think were the factors that allowed this to happen?
How do you feel the performance went? Did you enjoy yourself? Did the
audience seem to enjoy it? What were the performance conditions? Did
anything unexpected happen as you played?

Write about everything that occurred during the performance, even if
you do not think it was important or interesting. Describe your mental and
physical sensations in great detail. Which of these sensations were typical for
you, and which were completely new? If there were mistakes that happened
during the performance, describe how and why you will forgive yourself for
them. Then, make a list of at least ten things that went well during the
performance.

Finally, what have you learned from this performance? Are there things
you would like to try or do differently next time? Outline these ideas. You may
want to post this list someplace prominent to remind you what it is that you

wish to improve before the next performance.

102

 

Exercise 9: More Lists‘“

Now is the time when your action is practice.

The Dalai Lama (1935-), Tibet religious leader
resides in India

Think about your recent practicing habits and write lists for the following:

Things I like about my playing

Things that are going right

Things that are going wrong

Reasons I want to stay committed

My skills

Expectations I have of myself in the practice room
Excuses I make about practicing or performing
Things I want / need to conh‘ol when practicing
Things that are out of m control when practicing
Lessons I’ve learned in e practice room

Things I would like to achieve in my playing this year, month, week
Ways I can improve pracfice time

 

“" Adapted from: Adams, p. 134—7.

103

Chapter Eight
ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS

The tra edy of life doesn’t lie in not reachin your
goal. e tragedy lies in having no goal to rea .

Benjamin Mays

Sometimes an abundance of stress or anxiety can originate with fears
musicians may have about managing a career or life goals. After much strife and
seeming failure, many musicians find themselves asking the question: ”Why did
I choose this career?”182 A career in music certainly takes motivation,
concentration, and patience for many years of diligent practice. Deficient
concentration can be caused by a lack of motivation. One way to increase
motivation is by creating goals.183 In other words, if performers feel they are
unprepared for a performance, anxiety will take hold. If performers are too
prepared, however, they will get bored and lose concentration. Goal setting
may help attain this balance of skills and challenge.

This section asks you to assess your career goals, confront the obstacles
keeping you from reaching these goals, and helps you to create a plan that could
lead you to a successful future. All it takes is that first step.

 

"2 A few studies have attempted to formulate an answer to such a quandary. Researchers C.L.
Barney Dews and Martha S. Williams found that musicians have strong internal motivation.
(Dews and Williams, p. 45.)

"’Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi suggests that in order to experience a peak
performance state, it is imperative that the challenge of the performance be balanced by the
performers skills and capabilities. Csikszentmihalyi refers to the peak performance as
attaining ”the flow.”(Dews and Williams, p. 41)

104

Exercise 1: Your Wish is My Command

If you have built castles in the air, your work need
not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put
the foundations under them.
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862), American
essayist, poet, naturalist

In order for goals to truly work, it is helpful to visualize them being
achieved. Psychologists have found that performers will venture to fulfill
visualized goals)“ The more attempts that are made in reaching those goals, the
more chances there are at attaining them. Tiger Woods, the famous golfer, was
taught early in his training to picture the golf ball rolling into the hole before
making his move.185 The goal, putting the ball in the hole, was first visualized as
being achieved, which allowed Woods to call on his muscles to remember what a
successful shot feels like. When visualizing, it is important to see the physical
achievement of goals. Some examples of what to visualize as a musician include
seeing fingers move easily and accurately during technical passages, viewing
ourselves as relaxed and confident, and observing in our minds the achievement
of all other goals. Visualization techniques can be practiced at any fime, even
away from the instrument or without singing. Putting pen to paper as you
visualize your dreams may help to make them seem real and possible to achieve.

Describe your dream life. Now is the time to get really creative with your
vision. First, make a list of your life/ career goals. These can be goals you wish
to accomplish in one year, a few years, or even in several years. Make a list of
things you must do to achieve these goals. The goals and ”to do” lists may
change over time. The important thing is to define right now what you would
like to do. As things change, add to or replace these lists.

Next, collect pictures, articles, trinkets, or anything that you feel

 

"‘ Charlotte Sibley Whitaker and Donald Ray Tanner, But I played it Perfectly in the
Practice Room! (Lanham, MD: University Press of America, Inc., 1987), 16.
"5 Jay Tolso, ”Into the Zone” in 1.1.3. News and World Report (July 3, 2000) p. 38.

105

represents or symbolizes the life you would like to be living. Paste these
trinkets, if possible, onto one piece of paper. Place this collage someplace where
you can see it everyday. After you collect a fair amount of materials, answer the
following questions in your journal: How do each of these pictures/ trinkets
represent the life you desire? If these materials symbolize your life goals, how
does it feel to see your dreams in one place?186 How do you feel about
committing these goals to paper? Have you ever admitted these goals to other
people? If so, how did those people receive your ideas? If not, imagine what it
would be like to tell someone about your goals. Does this make you nervous?
If so, why? Why are you afraid?

Now that you have an idea of what your dream life looks like, how will
you know when you have accomplished this life for real? Write about this
crowning moment. How do you think it will feel to accomplish your goals?
Describe this moment and how you feel. The more detail you can visualize, the
more real it will feel. Visualizing the life we want is the first step we can take in
acquiring that life.

 

‘“ Adapted from: Bouton, p. 61-2.

106

Exercise 2: If Only, What If?!

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are
doomed if you don’t try.
Beverly Sills, American opera singer

When we long for life without difficulties, remind us
that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and
diamonds are made under pressure.
Peter Marshall (1902-1949), American
Presbyterian clergyman

Worry about the chances you miss when you don’t
even try.

Sherman Finesilver

You can achieve anything you want in life if you have
the courage to dream it, the intelligence to make a
realistic plan, and the will to see that plan through to
the end.
Sidney A. Friedman (1935-), American
entrepreneur, motivational speaker, author

We can do anything we want as long as we stick to it
long enough.
Helen Keller (1880-1968), American blind/deaf
author, lecturer, amorist

A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships
are built for.
William Shedd

Do any of the following statements sound familiar?: If only I were better, if
only I were finished with school, if only I could win an audition, if only I had better
equipment, if only I had more money, etc. How about: what if I won this job, what if I
played to my best ability for this recital, what if I were to perform this piece on mt next
performance? Notice that the If only statements imply that you believe it is nearly
impossible for you to achieve your goals. The what ifs, on the other hand, allow

you to imagine yourself actually attaining them.

First, make a list of your if onlys.“7 These represent the excuses you make

or have made as to why you cannot achieve your goals and dreams. Once

 

”7 Adapted from: Bouton, p. 27-8.

107

completed, make a list of what ifs that counter the if onlys.188 For example, avoid
writing statements such as: ”If only I could win an orchestral job.” Rather,
counter such a statement with: ”What if I were to win an orchestral jo .”
Hopefully, it feels empowering to ask the what if, because it implies that winning
the job is completely possible. After writing your what ifs, visualize yourself
living your goal. For example, imagine yourself playing in the orchestra, the
people you with which might play, and the environment in which you perform.
Describe how it feels to play with this orchestra (achieve your goal). If seeing is
believing, then visualizing yourself attaining your goals only brings you closer to
achieving them. Describing as much detail as possible is the key to this exercise.
Next, make a list of the things you can do right now to bring you closer to
your dream. A list might include: begin practicing orchestral excerpts, obtain
recordings, look for open positions, decide which auditions to take, etc. This
brainstorm list will give you direction for achieving your goals. Begin checking

things off your list as soon as possible.

 

‘” Adapted from: Bouton, p. 65-6.

108

Exercise 3: The Future

There’s often no way you can look into the ame of life and
determine whether or not. you’ll get at big break
tomorrow or whether it will take another week, month,
year or even longer. But it will come!
Zig Ziglar (1933-), American sales trainer, author,
motivational speaker

The future is simply infinite possibility waiting to happen.

What it waits on is human imagination to crystalize its

possibility.

Leland Kaiser

Recall an earlier exercise that asked you to describe how you wish your
life to be in one year or several years from now. Do you ever wish you could
see into a crystal ball to see whether your actions today will have any bearing on
your activities a year from now? Can you remember a time, a year or so ago,
when you pondered your future? If so, you now have the answer to that
question! You are living in your future. In an odd way, this is like time travel.
By asking what / where you will be in a year’ s time simply allows you to imagine
the accomplishments you could make within this coming year.

Write about the things you wish to accomplish. Choose such
accomplishments carefully. You must recognize that there are steps that lead
you to your biggest dream. Write, in detail, what it will take to achieve each step
that will ultimately lead you to the goal. How long do you think it will take to
complete each task? What are some obstacles you might have to tackle? You
may want to refer to the previous exercise on this topic for ideas.

Now, pretend that it is one year into the future and you have achieved the
above goals. Date your journal entry a year from today. Write what is
happening in your life as if it is one year from now. Your journal entry should
be in the present tense. The more detail you write, the easier it will be to believe

that those achievements could come true a year from now.

109

 

Exercise 4: Obstacles

In the middle of a difficulty lies opportunity.
Albert Einstein (1879-1955), German-born
American physicist

The mountain remains unmoved at seeming defeat
by the mist.
Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941), Bengali poet,
novelist, composer

Expect problems and eat them for breakfast.
Alfred A. Montapert, American author

How you respond to the challenge in the second half
will determine what you become after the game,
whether you are a winner or a loser.

Lou Holtz (1937-), American football coach

As musicians achieve their goals, one of the most debilitating things to
occur is an obstacle or set back. An obstacle can take many forms, whether it is
another person, time, or an event that delays goal achievement. Obstacles must
be confronted sooner, or later. It is difficult to stay motivated when something
blocks progress. What have been or currently are your obstacles? Did you or
do feel stuck or overwhelmed? What can be done to alleviate such a feeling
when obstacles are inevitable? Perhaps journal writing can be a helpful tool.

When you hit an obstacle or feel stuck, remind yourself what it is you are
trying to accomplish. Make a list or brainstorm about all of the things that
brought you to this point. Why did you want to work toward this dream in the
first place? After you have a sizable list, write about why you are now stuck. Is
this obstacle trying to teach you something? Is there any new information about
your goal that you had not considered until this point? Brainstorm and create a
list of what you may learn from being stuck or having a set back in your plans.
Once you are finished with this, come up with a list of things you could do, to
overcome this obstacle. Brainstorming in this way, may lead to a solution that

you had not considered previously.

110

Exercise 5: More Lists”9

There is no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at
what you love; there’s only a scarcity of resolve to
make it happen.
Wayne Dyer (1940-), American psychotherapist,
author, lecturer

Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature
would not incite us to have them.
Iohn Updike

Think about your performance goals and write lists for the following:

Things I wish to accomplish in the next year, six months, three months, month,
week

Things I need to accomplish

Reasons I want to stay committed

Jobs / careers I would like to have

Things I want to achieve 1n my personal and professional lifetime
Expectations others have of me

Expectations I have of myself

Financial fears

Ways to generate income

Things I can do that will bring me closer to reaching my dreams
Qualities in other performers I wish to acquire

 

WAdapted from: Adams, p. 134-7.

111

Chapter Nine

FEARS/SELF-DOUBT
Becoming Your Own Cheerleader

If you only look at what is, you might never attain
what could be.
source unknown

One of the most important tools we can use for combatting any kind of
anxiety is self-confidence. Security on the stage could be a direct result of the
confidence a musician feels on stage. In one study, it was found that self-esteem
correlated with self-confidence, ego-strength, and confidence in one’s
resources.190 In this same study, those with fewer work-related symptoms also
had high self-esteem. The implied goal would be to strengthen self-esteem for
more confidence during a performance.

How can self-esteem or confidence be built or strengthened? Elizabeth
Valentine proposes that training in cognitive behavior therapy might help.191
One exercise in cognitive behavior therapy would include positive thinking. A
person is trained to relax him or herself by analyzing self-defeating statements
and rephrasing these in the affirrnative.192 It also may help for the musician to
confront the fears that he or she may have about performing as well as the
origin of those fears. The introductory section of this workbook suggested
many reasons for low self-esteem or self-doubt with which you may or may not
identify. Knowing the causes can be a first and crucial step, but not enough to
deal with the feeling that still exists. It is time to become your own cheerleader,
in a sense, and begin to build your self-esteem from within.

 

‘9” Sidney Crown, CJ. Lucas, Peter Stringer, and S. Supramanium, Personality correlates of study
difficulty and academic performance in university students. II. conscience and self-esteem.
British Iournal of Medical Psychology, 500977): 279.

‘9‘ Valentine, p. 176.

"2 Ibid., p. 176-7.

112

 

Exercise1:WhatAmISoAfraidOf?

It’ s all right to have butterflies in your stomach. Just
get them to fly in formation.
Robert Gilbert

I believe that if you think about disaster you will get

it. Brood about death and you hasten your demise.

Think positively and masterfully with confidence and

faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught

with action, richer in achievement and experience.
Edward Vernon Rickenbacker (1890-1973),
American aviator, WWI Ace

Make a list of your fears about performing. Describe each of these fears
in detail. Can you think of the origins of these fears? In other words, what is the
purpose of your fears? We often create fears to protect ourselves from
experiencing something unpleasant or dangerous. Therefore, it is important not
to interpret a fear as something negative. Fears can educate us about ourselves.
As you look over your list of fears, try to reason how this fear is trying to help
you. What is it designed to prevent you from doing? Put your fears in a
positive light.

Once you finish writing about your fears, explain why this should not
completely overpower your ability to perform to your best ability. For instance,
if you are afraid of who you might see in the audience during a performance,
remind yourself that people in the audience want to hear a good performance.
They would not attend a concert they were not interested in hearing. Chances
are, they are expecting to hear you make some mistakes. They will forgive you
for them, just as you forgive those performers who make mistakes during the
performances in which you attend. Come up with an extensive list of reasons
why you need not allow your fears to affect you so much.

To help yourself decide that fears can be beneficial, continue this entry
with a description of how your fears help you perform to the best of your

113

ability. For instance, fears can help you to stay motivated and focused during a
performance. Fears can bring awareness to areas in your performance that need
improving. Write down any other ways to benefit from fears. Writing is
believing. And believing that there is good that can come from fear enables us

to become more confident.

114

Exercise 2: Survival

Just because you made a mistake doesn’t mean you
are a mistake.
Georgette Mosbacher, American business
executive

In three words, I can sum up everything I’ve learned about
life; it goes on!
Leo Buscaglia, American expert on love, lecturer, author

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the
master calls a butterfly.
Richard Bach (1936-), American author

Prior to performing, do you ever wonder: ”How am I going to make it
through this one?” Do your nerves overtake the belief that you will survive
another performance? If you have felt this way prior to performing, you
probably managed to go on with the performance, despite jittery nerves. How
do you survive in these moments?

Think of a time when you had to perform, and you questioned your
ability to go drrough with a performance, but you did it anyway. How did you
do it? Write about such a past experience, and give details as to how you
survived the experience. Did it go better or worse than expected? What were
your expectations? What sustained you through such a time? Was it the nofion
that if you did not follow through with the performance, you would fail? What
made you keep going? What were your reasons for performing that
superseded everything else?

Also, what sustains you right now? What are the good things that are
happening in your life right now? Make a list of the reasons why you want to
keep pursuing your dream. Post this list where you can easily find it in times
when you feel lost or unsure of your abilities. If you believe that everything
happens for a reason, then you might want a list reminding you what that

reason is. Everyone needs a reminder or a boost from time to time. You may

115

even consider making your list of reasons into a mission statement about what
you hope to accomplish on your path. When in doubt, refer to this testimony
often, as it shows the purpose of your efforts.

116

Exercise 3: Confronting the worst

Every winner has scars.
Herbert N. Casson, American author

There is nothing eidrer good or bad but thinking

makes it so.
William Shakespeare (1564-1616), British poet,

playwright, actor

Has anyone ever tried helping to alleviate your pre-performance nerves
by asking: ”What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Though you may roll
your eyes due to the frequency this question is asked, it is a valid question as you
prepare for any concert, audition, recital, etc. Will you lose your life? Will your
health be compromised? So what if you make a mistake, lose an audition, etc.?
Unfortunately, as you are in the midst of a performance, such outcomes can be
emotionally devastating after putting so much time and effort into preparing for
any type of performance. Performers must separate themselves from the
performance. Understand that you are a accumulation of all performances.
Therefore, your last performance, no matter how good or bad, does not
completely define you as a performer. You have a history of performance which
is constantly being updated. In this sense, you can only get stronger by
performing.

Recall a performance about which you are least proud. Describe
everything that occurred before, during, and after this performance. Record
how you felt mentally and physically throughout this situation. Then, describe
how you survived this event. Is there anything that you did in this situation that
surprised you? Did you show any strengths? Weaknesses? What did you learn
from this situation?”

Now, imagine the worst thing that could happen during a performance.
Describe this situation in detail. This may be something that has or has not

 

“’3 Adapted from: Bouton, p. 69-70.

117

happened to you already. Explain how you would feel, mentally and physically.
Go on to write about how you would deal with this situation. What strengths do
you desire to exhibit?
What is the worst thing that could happen if confronted by your worst fears?
Now, write about the best thing that could happen to you while you
perform. You could play all the right notes. Perhaps you will finally get the
expression exactly how you want it on a specific phrase that has been incomplete
for you. You will never know what will happen during a performance until you
go through with it. Part of developing performance strength is preparing for
what could happen, and preparing for the best possible response. Mental
preparation through journal writing might help you.

118

Exercise 4: Jealousy

Always dream and shoot higher than you know how
to. Don’t bother just to be better than your
contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better
than yourself.

William Faulkner (1897-1962), American novelist

Nobody wants to be a jealous person. Watching a friend or acquaintance
achieve something you aspire to accomplish may sometimes cause you to
experience pangs of jealousy. Competitions, jobs, or any performance
opportunities achieved by others can cause such a feeling, despite efforts to be
happy for their sake. Insecurities may result from paying attention to how you
compare with others rather than on what you need to do to accomplish your
own goals. While suppressing jealous feelings does not help, it also is dangerous
to succumb to such negativity. Why would you want to make yourself feel so
badly? Why do you hold on to such time-wasting insecurities? When you feel
confident, such feelings seem absurd. It is important to recognize that feelings of
jealousy are valid, and it is within your power to deal with them.

Describe the people that cause you to feel jealous. What are they doing to
make you feel this way? Let all of your feelings out widrout editing. When
finished, make a list of all the things you do that could possibly make other
people jealous. Most gossip bandied about behind closed doors stems from
jealousy. Almost everyone is jealous of someone, but we are not all jealous of
the same people. Every person has or can do something of which others may be
jealous. Create a list of your enviable attributes and refer to it whenever you
begin to feel jealous. After this, go back to the first letter you wrote to your
journal (see chapter five, exercise one). Knowing what you already have and
applying it to what you want to do, have, or be may help you to stay focused on

your mission rather than someone else’s.

119

Exercise 5: Who Are Your Judges?

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing,

while others judge us by what we have already done.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1819-1892),
American poet

Wherever you go, whatever you do, there will always be someone to
critique you. You may even be a critic yourself! Do you find yourself making
judgments about a performance during a recital, concert, or when listening to a
compact disc recording? Of course, your teachers are constantly critiquing your
performance; it is their job to do so. As you prepare to perform, do you ever
find yourself wondering what it is your critics will say? Do you allow your view
of these judges’ expectations to cloud your thoughts as you practice or perform?
Because musicians often depend on the droughts of others’ as to whether they
are worthy of jobs or positions in the field of music, they can often succumb to
the pressures caused by constantly worrying about what others think. This
merely serves as a distraction, however, to what we wish to accomplish.
Therefore, it is necessary to confront what I refer to as ”the judges.”

List people in your life that judge or critique you. What do they look like,
or who are they? What do they think of you? What might they say to you
about your performance? How do they act around you? What do you think of
them? How would they react to the knowledge of what you think of them? Do
the criticisms of these judges sound familiar? Do they sound like your inner
voice as you critique yourself? People project their own feelings and thoughts of
their abilities onto people who physically represent that voice. Stand up for
yourself. Telling your judges why you deserve to succeed allows you to tell
yourself why you deserve success. Ultimately, it is a positive View of yourself

that makes you strong.“

 

‘9‘ For further guidance in dealing with your judges, refer to: Eloise Ristad, I”The Book of
Judges,” in A Soprano on Her Head (Moab, Utah: Real People Press, 1982), 13-21.

120

Exercise 6: Building Confidence Through Self Awareness

You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do
things you never thought you could do. There are no
limitations in what you can do except the limitations
of your own mind.

Darwin P. Kingsley

In the Autobiographical section of these writing exercises, I proposed an
exercise that required you to keep track of how you talk to yourself. This was to
point out the type of relationship you have with yourself. Similarly, it is
important, when preparing for a performance, to keep track of what you say to
yourself and whether you say things that build up your esteem or tear it down.
For instance, do you notice yourself drinking things like: ”You better not mess
that up during the performance,” or ”This section is impossible; there is no way I
will play this piece well.” After repeating a variety of such negative statements
to yourself, you may notice that your confidence diminishes. As before, the goal
is to say more positive things to yourself, even when you feel unsure about your
playing. Positive statements are cumulative. The confidence they instill builds
up over time. Confidence is definitely something that will aid a performance
situation!

Exercise a:

Keep track of the things you say to yourself about performing. This may
take place in the practice room, in a lesson, or any time you think about the
impending performance. Once you have collected some common negative
phrases that you say to yourself, read them aloud to remember how they sound.
The next time you notice yourself thinking one of these negative statements,
stop yourself and rephrase the statement. For example, rather than ”I can’t do
this,” you could say, ”This section is challenging. I will need to work on it.”
Exercise b:

Take a moment to imagine that you are performing. Visualize every

121

detail. Who is in the audience? What are you wearing? What is the temperature
in the room? What piece(s) are you performing? etc. Make yourself feel
nervous while visualizing this scenario. If you are able to increase your
adrenaline level in the practice room, you may get accustomed to how your
body responds to a performance situation. Visualizing this also helps to prepare
your mind for the performance. Seeing it in your imagination prepares your

mind for what to expect. By the performance, everything should seem familiar.

122

Exercise 7: More Lists ‘95

Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the
road to achievement. One fails forward toward
success.
Charles F. Kettering (1876- 1958), American
engineer, inventor

Consider any feelings of insecurity or self-doubt you may feel about a
performance and write lists for the following:

Things I have already accomplished

Ways I can nurture myself

Things about which I am anxious

Things that are going right

Things that are going wrong

My fears about performing right now

Achievernents/ qualifies in my playing about which I am proud
Qualifies in my performing I wish to strengthen

Judgments I make of others

Judgments I make of myself

Judgments I believe others make of me

Expectations others have of my performance

Expectations I have of my performance

Things I want / need to control when performing

Things that are out of my control in a performance

Fears I have about giving up control while performing
Reasons I get jealous of others

Mistakes I have made during a performance

Things for which to forgive myself

Lessons I have learned after performing

Things that others have told me about my performance that make me feel good
Things that I can tell myself to make me feel good about performing

 

”5 Adapted from: Adams, p. 134-7.

123

EPILOGUE

Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of
traveling.
Margaret Lee Runback

The aim of this document is to inform teachers and performers about
music performance anxiety, how it has been dealt with in the past, and to
suggest journal writing as a creative way to cope with any performance fears a
musician might have. Learning about what MPA is and what the possible causes
for it are helps you take the first step. However, that may not be enough for
you if you wish to improve your comfort levels when performing. Many
musicians complain about pre—performance nerves, but they often think the only
way to cope is to ”wish" for more stability and comfort. Unfortunately, this is
not a solution recommended by any performers interested in comprehensively
dealing with MPA. It is time to take responsibility for your performance health
and well-being and to learn about yourself as a musician and as a human being.
There are things you can do to make performing more enjoyable for yourself
and your future audiences. It is possible to reach your optimal playing levels
more often but you must work at it.

Make a commitment to try new methods of coping with IVH’A. You do
not need to limit yourself to reading only this document and completing the
writing exercises. Create writing exercises of your own, search for other books
on the topic, search the internet for possible resources, or talk with teachers,
friends, and family members about possible ideas they may have for your
mental training. The more you discuss your anxieties about performing with
others, the more you may be surprised at the number of other musicians

struggling in similar ways. Be brave and find yourself as a performer.

124

Appendices

125

APPENDD( A
Symptoms of MPA Outline“

Physiological Symptoms:
-increased heart rate
-palpitations
-shortness of breath
hyperventilation
-dry mouth
-sweating
-nausea
-diarrhea
dizziness

Behavioral Symptoms:
-shaking
-trembling
-stiffness
-deadpan expression
-lips moistening
-lifted shoulders
-impairment of performance

Cognitive Symptoms:
-fear of public performance
-negative evaluation
-loss of self-esteem
-identification of self-esteem with performance perfection
-worry that leads to poor concentration

 

‘9‘ According to Elizabeth Valentine, mThe fear of performance,” in Musical Performance: A
Guide to Understanding, ed. John Rink (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2002), 168-9.

126

APPENDIX B
Levels of Anxiety Outline

I. Ostwald, Avery and Ostwald:197
A. Sense of Unpleasant Apprehension
B. Panic

C. Chronic Anxiety

II. Elizabeth Valentine:198
A. Catastrophizing
B. Moderate Stage Fright
C. Self-Handicapping

III. Melissa Brotons:199
A. Tension
B. Arousal Necessary to Reach Peak Performance

C. Excessive Stress

 

"7 Ostwald, Avery, and Ostwald, p. 341.
"' Valentine, p. 169.
‘9’ Brotons, p. 64.

127

PERFORMANCE

 

 

APPENDIX C

PEAK
PERFORMING

 

AROUSAL

FIGURE 1: YERKES-DODSON INVERTED-U HYPOTHESIS

128

 

PERFORMANCE

 

 

APPENDIX D

PERFORMING

Dramatic decline in
performance

Performer is unable to

recover completely
from dramatic decline

 

 

\

 

AROUSAL

FIGURE 2: HARDY-FAZEY CATASTROPHE MODEL

129

APPENDIX E

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RELAXATION EXCITEMENT
PLEASANT
HEDONIC
TONE
UNPLEASANT
BOREDOM ANXIETY
LOW AROUSAL HIGH

FIGURE 3: SMITH-AFTER REVERSAL THEORY

130

APPENDIX F
Causes of MPA Outline

I. Level I: Surface Causes of MPA
A. Arousal and anxiety levels
B. Facilitative vs. debilitative arousal

H. Level H: Stress/ Lifestyle

A. School-related
1. Transition from high school to college
2. School environment
3. Finances
4. Competition
5. Evaluation

B. School and beyond
1. Accumulated anxiety
2. Technology
3. General life events

C. Maintaining Causes
1. Avoiding a situation that creates anxiety
2. Anxious self-talk
3. Mistaken beliefs
4. Effects of accumulated stress

1H. Level III: Personality/ Family
A. Perfectionism
B. Influence of family
1. Too much support
2. Not enough support
C. Types of familial relationships
D. The effect of familial relationships on non-familial relationships
B. Chemical effects

131

APPENDIX G
Coping Methods Outline

I. Behavioral Methods
A. Awareness of body cues
B. Breathing exercises
C. Biofeedback
D. Systematic desensitization

E. Lifestyle

11. Cognitive Methods
A. Psychotherapy / counseling
B. A change in cognitions/ views
C. Imagery/ mental rehearsal
D. Setting goals
E. Arousal control
F. Educational

III. Drug Treatments
A. Beta Blockers

IV. Comprehensive Methods

(a combination of the above, depending on what works for the

performer)

132

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