OBSERVING THE OBSERVER: AN EXAMINATION OF PRESERVICE MUSIC TEACHERS’ INITIAL FIELD OBSERVATIONS By Becky Marsh A DISSERTATION Submitted to Michigan State University for the degree of 2018 in partial fulfillment of the requirements Music Education—Doctor of Philosophy ABSTRACT By Becky Marsh OBSERVING THE OBSERVER: AN EXAMINATION OF PRESERVICE MUSIC TEACHERS’ INITIAL FIELD OBSERVATIONS With the intent of informing music teacher educators in their work with and preparation of preservice music teachers, the purpose of this study was to examine the initial field-observation experiences of preservice music teachers enrolled in an introductory music education course. The “grand tour” question guiding this study was, how do preservice music teachers enrolled in an introductory music education course make meaning of their first observations of a music classroom in K-12 schools within their teacher education program? From this overarching question, I sought to address the following subquestions: 1) What do preservice music teachers notice during their first field observation? 2) In what ways, if any, do preservice music teachers draw connections between their teacher identities and what they notice during an observation? 3) How do preservice music teachers negotiate the aspects of their observations that conflict with their teacher identities? This study followed an instrumental case study design (Stake, 1995), examining the phenomenon of preservice music teachers’ initial field-observation experience as part of an introductory music education course (MUE 101). While all students enrolled in MUE 101 provided consent and acted as participants in the study, seven served as primary participants. These seven primary participants each were in their first semester of the music teacher education program and represented different races, ethnicities, gender identities, sexual orientations, and backgrounds. As the instructor of MUE 101 and a The participants’ observations related to pedagogical strategies, student participant observer in this study, I employed ethnographic methods of data collection, collecting data before, during, and after each initial field observation experience. All MUE 101 students observed within a musical context that was likely to be different from their elementary and secondary experiences or, based upon their primary instrument of study, their ensemble participation at the university. The two participant groups in this study observed at one of two observation music classes, (1) a fifth- and sixth- grade general music class at an urban school serving students in grades four through six or (2) a kindergarten general music class at a school serving only kindergarten students from the surrounding suburban and rural rea. engagement, teacher decision-making, conflict resolution, and teacher language. With few exceptions, what the participants noticed differed dependent upon their observation site. Participants at both observation sites experienced disruptions to their preconceptions of music education in some way as a result of observing in a less familiar context, such as a general music classroom. However, the nature of these disruptions was dependent upon other contextual factors, including school demographics and the age range of the students observed as well as each participant’s prior experiences. In reflecting upon their initial field-observation experience, participants considered the contexts in which they might teach and what their personal lives might look like as a result of becoming a music educator. These findings may better inform music teacher educators in their design and implementation of early field experiences for preservice music teachers. From these findings, I make suggestions for music teacher education as well as future research. Copyright by BECKY MARSH 2018 For The Original Marsh Crew, each of whom is more than I deserve. v TABLE OF CONTENTS LIST OF FIGURES.............................................................................................................................................................. CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION ................................................................................................................................. 1 Music Teacher Socialization and Identity Construction ............................................................. 1 Primary Socialization .................................................................................................................... 2 Secondary Socialization ............................................................................................................... 3 Preservice Music Teacher Identity ........................................................................................................ 4 Early Field Experiences in Preservice Music Teacher Education ........................................... 6 Field Observations.......................................................................................................................... 7 Videotape observation .................................................................................................. 8 Field observations and preservice music teacher identity .......................... 8 Need for the Study ...................................................................................................................................... 10 Purpose Statement and Research Problems .................................................................................. 11 CHAPTER 2: REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE .................................................................................... 12 Early Field Experiences and Preservice Music Teacher Identity......................................... 12 Observation in Music Teacher Education ....................................................................................... 13 Summary .......................................................................................................................................... 25 CHAPTER 3: METHODOLOGY .............................................................................................................................. 29 Design ............................................................................................................................................................... 29 Case Setting and Description................................................................................................................. 30 Role of the Researcher.............................................................................................................................. 32 Theoretical Lenses ..................................................................................................................................... 33 Interpretive Phenomenology as a Framework .............................................................. 33 Olsen’s (2008) Model of Teacher Identity Development.......................................... 34 Participant Selection ................................................................................................................................. 37 Data Collection and Procedures ........................................................................................................... 38 Determining and Scheduling Observation Groups ...................................................... 38 Personal Narrative Projects .................................................................................................... 40 Pre-Observation Class: Teachers as Ethnographers ................................................... 41 In-Transit Audio Recordings .................................................................................................. 43 Retrospective Think-Aloud Interviews ............................................................................. 44 Written Observation Reflections .......................................................................................... 46 Participant Fieldnotes ............................................................................................................... 46 Researcher Fieldnotes ............................................................................................................... 47 Data Analysis and Trustworthiness ................................................................................................... 47 Limitations ..................................................................................................................................................... 48 Researcher Lens .......................................................................................................................................... 49 CHAPTER 4: PARTICIPANT PROFILES AND OBSERVATION SITE DESCRIPTIONS ................... 52 Katie .................................................................................................................................................................. 52 Shane ................................................................................................................................................................. 55 vi Sasha ................................................................................................................................................................. 60 Marcellus ......................................................................................................................................................... 64 Rebecca ............................................................................................................................................................ 69 Leon ................................................................................................................................................................... 73 Tobias ............................................................................................................................................................... 77 Summary .......................................................................................................................................... 81 Descriptions of Observation Sites ....................................................................................................... 82 Davidson Primary School ......................................................................................................... 82 Ms. Shore ............................................................................................................................. 82 Setting the stage .............................................................................................................. 83 Martindale School ........................................................................................................................ 85 Mrs. Bessemer .................................................................................................................. 86 Setting the stage .............................................................................................................. 86 Summary .......................................................................................................................................... 88 CHAPTER 5: OBSERVATIONS AND (UN)EXPECTATIONS ...................................................................... 90 Pedagogical Strategies .............................................................................................................................. 90 Movement as a Learning Tool ............................................................................................... 91 Unknowingly Identifying Music Learning Theory in Practice................................ 93 The whole deal ............................................................................................................... 93 Musical mindset ............................................................................................................. 94 Student Engagement ................................................................................................................................ 95 Don’t Force Them ........................................................................................................................ 95 They Don’t Wanna Be There ................................................................................................... 97 Part of the Job ................................................................................................................................ 98 Teacher Decision-Making .................................................................................................................... 100 Conflict Resolution .................................................................................................................................. 102 Layla: Late and Livid ............................................................................................................... 102 Jamal’s Shutdown ..................................................................................................................... 104 Mrs. B, the Calm “Listener-Teacher” ................................................................................ 106 (Un)expectations ...................................................................................................................................... 108 Response to the Observation Environment ................................................................. 109 Acting as a Participant Observer ....................................................................................... 111 Students’ musical, intellectual, and social abilities.................................... 112 What do I do? ............................................................................................................... 114 Summary ...................................................................................................................................................... 115 CHAPTER 6: MAKING CONNECTIONS .......................................................................................................... 118 Prior Personal Experiences ................................................................................................................. 119 Family Influence ........................................................................................................................ 120 K-12 School Experiences ....................................................................................................... 121 Remembering Self as Child................................................................................................... 123 In school contexts ...................................................................................................... 123 Outside of school ........................................................................................................ 128 Seeing Self Reflected in Teacher ........................................................................................ 130 Prior Professional Experiences ......................................................................................................... 132 vii In a K-12 Classroom ................................................................................................................. 132 Extracurricular Activities and Part-Time Jobs ............................................................ 134 The Present: Teacher Education Experience.............................................................................. 137 MUE 101: The Philosophy Wall and Student-Centered Classrooms .................. 138 It’s Basically What We Do in Ear Training ...................................................................... 140 Summary ...................................................................................................................................................... 141 CHAPTER 7: ENVISIONING SELF AS TEACHER........................................................................................ 143 The Decision to Teach ............................................................................................................................ 144 Lifestyle Considerations and Concerns .......................................................................... 144 Starting and supporting a family ........................................................................ 144 Perceptions of job security .................................................................................... 148 Representation: No Teachers Who “Look Like Me” ................................................. 150 Finding the Right Fit ............................................................................................................................... 153 Influenced by What They Noticed During the Field-Observation Experience ............................................................................................ 154 Influence of Personal Characteristics.............................................................................. 158 Influenced by Prior Conceptions of Students .............................................................. 160 Influenced by Parent Who Was an Educator ............................................................... 163 Summary ...................................................................................................................................................... 165 CHAPTER 8: SUMMARY, DISCUSSION, IMPLICATIONS, AND SUGGESTIONS ............................ 167 Summary of the Study ........................................................................................................................... 167 Methods ......................................................................................................................................... 168 What They Noticed ................................................................................................................... 170 Intersections with Identity ................................................................................................... 173 Prior personal experiences ................................................................................... 174 Prior professional experiences ........................................................................... 175 Undergraduate coursework.................................................................................. 176 Making connections known .................................................................................. 177 Informing and Influencing Identity .................................................................................. 177 Implications for Practice ...................................................................................................................... 178 The Value of Early Field-Observation Experiences .................................................. 179 Designing Early Field-Observation Experiences ....................................................... 180 The presence or absence of various disruptive elements in a field- observation experience may influence teacher identity development. .............................................................................................................. 180 Observation context may play a role in what preservice music teachers notice. ............................................................................................ 183 Preservice music teachers may benefit from opportunities to observe from different perspectives. .............................................................. 184 A Broader, More Inclusive View of Teacher Identity Development ................. 185 Implementing Early Field-Observation Experiences .............................................. 186 Suggestions for Future Research...................................................................................................... 187 viii REFERENCES ............................................................................................................................................................ 190 ix LIST OF FIGURES Figure 1. Olsen’s “Teacher Identity as Dynamic, Holistic Interaction among Multiple Parts” (2008, p. 25) ................................................................................................................................................................. 36 x Occupational socialization is the process by which a person learns to adopt, develop, and display the actions and role behaviors typical of a particular profession (Merton, 1957). The socialization to become a teacher begins at a young age, as students in the classroom have the opportunity to observe and interact with occupational role models on a daily basis in school. By the time they graduate from high school, preservice teachers have been socialized to the norms of teaching through approximately 13,000 hours spent in direct contact with classroom teachers, a phenomenon that Lortie (2002) refers to as “apprenticeship of observation” (p. 65). Within the education profession, teacher socialization describes the formation of both teaching perspectives and approaches as a result of influence from any individual, group, or institution (Lortie, 2002), and it has been studied widely in the context of all disciplines of teacher education, including music teacher education (Roberts, 1991, 2000; Bouij, 2004; Scheib, 2007; Isbell, 2008; Albert, 2016). Within music education, the socialization process that occurs prior to preservice teacher education is considered “primary socialization” (Woodford, 2002), during which students first begin to assume and internalize the roles and attitudes of music teacher models and make them their own (Isbell, 2008). As students gain memberships in social institutions, such as collegiate music-teacher education programs, they move from primary socialization to more formalized secondary socialization, during which they continue to acquire the behaviors and vocabularies specific to their desired professional roles (Berger & Luckman, 1967). Roberts (1991) discussed factors that are unique to music teacher socialization, Music Teacher Socialization and Identity Construction CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION 1 Primary Socialization noting that “music teachers may be typically much more concerned about ‘being a musician’ than perhaps a science or history teacher may be concerned about ‘being a scientist or historian’” (p. 32). Asserting that “one cannot just borrow the knowledge about music as one in science or history, one must, rather, be a ‘musician’,” (p. 32), Roberts highlighted identity as an important factor in music teacher preparation. His work extended L’Roy’s (1983) pioneering examination of undergraduate music education majors’ occupational identities, which sparked others to explore identity construction within music teacher education. Explorations of music teacher socialization and teacher identity construction often are intertwined, as one’s teacher identity develops through both primary and secondary socialization. When preservice music teachers begin college degree programs, they often bring with them conceptions of teaching and the profession that are not in agreement with those held by professionals in the field (Froelich & L’Roy, 1985). These preexisting conceptions and beliefs about music teaching, based upon their previous experiences in school music programs, influence preservice music teachers’ values and identities as teachers (Bergee, 1992; Bergee et al., 2001; Campbell, 1999; Cox, 1997; Dolloff, 1999; Draves, 2012; Ferguson, 2003; Fredrickson & Williams, 2009; Isbell, 2008; Kelly, 2000; Madsen & Kelly, 2002; Mark, 1998; Rickels et al., 2010; Roberts, 1991a, 1991b, 1991c; Schmidt, 1998; Thompson, 2000; Thompson & Campbell, 2003). Researchers focusing on the influence of the primary socialization of preservice music teachers have found that high school ensemble directors tend to be the strongest influence on students’ decisions to become music teachers (Bergee, 1992; Bergee et al., 2001; Cox, 1997; Fredrickson & Williams, 2 2009; Jones & Parkes, 2010; Kelly, 2010; Madsen & Kelly, 2002; Rickels et al., 2010; Schonauer, 2002; Thornton & Bergee, 2008) and that the majority of undergraduate music education majors envision themselves teaching high school ensembles after graduation (Bergee et al., 2001; Frederickson & Williams, 2009; Hellman, 2008). Furthermore, many express a desire to be like their high school ensemble directors (Conway, 2002), supporting claims that high school music education programs are significant factors in the socialization of preservice music teachers (Bergee, 1992; Campbell, 1999; Isbell, 2008). In addition to having formulated ideas about what grades of school music they will teach, studies also suggest that preservice music teachers may enter music teacher education programs with preconceived notions about how and what to teach. This may be due to a number of factors, such as the fact that many music education majors come from backgrounds in which music and music making are present regularly at home (Cox, 1997; Mark, 1998). As a result, they bring with them a background of formative experiences as music learners. Also, preservice music teachers often decide in high school that they will pursue a music education degree (Bergee et al., 2001; Bergee & Demorest, 2003; Cox, 1997) and, as such, may have opportunities to perform the role of music teacher in that context prior to beginning a music teacher education program (Beynon, 1998; Cox, 1997; Duling, 2000; Gillespie & Hamann, 1999; L’Roy, 1983; Mark, 1998; Prescesky, 1997; Roberts, 1991a, 1991b, 1991c). Preservice music teachers’ conceptions of music teaching, developed through primary socialization and the apprenticeship of observation (Lortie, 2002), can be difficult to alter during undergraduate studies. As Roberts (1991b) discussed, music teacher Secondary Socialization 3 identity is differentiated further from teacher identity than within other disciplines, primarily because, to become a music teacher, one must claim identity first as a musician and then as a music teacher. In fact, simply to be accepted into a music teacher education program, students must pass music auditions that emphasize musician-performer skills (Bernard, 2009; Bladh, 2004; Bouij, 2004; Dolloff, 1999, 2008; Hargreaves et al., 2003, 2007; Roberts, 1991b, 1994). Upon entering a music teacher education program, several factors reinforce preservice music teachers’ self-identifications of themselves as musician- performers (Aróstegui, 2004; Bernard, 2005; Beynon, 1998; Bouij, 1998, 2004; Froehlich & L’Roy, 1985; L’Roy, 1985; Mark, 1998; Pellegrino, 2009; Roberts, 1991c; Scheib, 2006; Woodford, 2002), including institutions’ emphasis of performance skills (Kingsbury, 1984, 1988; Nettl, 1995; Woodford, 2002) and the fact that preservice music teachers often receive more praise from applied faculty and ensemble conductors for their performance skill than for their teaching (Austin, Isbell, & Russell, 2012; Conway et al., 2010; Dolloff, 2006; L’Roy, 1983; Prescesky, 1997; Roberts, 1991c; Woodford, 2002). Within the culture of music education programs, preservice music teachers often are afforded social status in relation to their music performance skills more often than in acknowledgement of their teaching skills (Roberts, 1991b). These socialization factors contribute to the complex nature of undergraduate music education majors’ teacher identity construction. Much research has examined preservice music teacher identity construction as a window into the music teacher socialization process and what types of pedagogy are effective to support this process (Albert, 2016; Bernard, 2009; Campbell & Thompson, 2007; Conkling, 2004; Conway, 2002; Dolloff, 1999, 2008; Isbell, 2008; L’Roy, 1983; Preservice Music Teacher Identity 4 Roberts, 1991, Wagoner, 2011). While these studies are valuable in establishing constructs for music teacher identity, they traditionally have considered only musician and teacher aspects of self (Beynon, 1998; Bouij, 2004; Froelich & L’Roy, 1985; L’Roy, 1983; Roberts, 1991), neglecting the impact that other aspects of preservice music teachers’ identities may have on their teacher identities. Aspects of identity including, but not limited to, age, race, gender identity, sexual orientation, and religious affiliations, as well as any number of factors related to their individual backgrounds and lived experiences, also may influence how preservice music teachers develop occupational identities. Dependent upon the context in which teacher identity construction—or the impact of teacher identity—is explored, a more holistic definition and model may be necessary. Wagoner (2011) describes identity construction for the preservice music teacher as an ongoing, fluid process that is subject to contextual influences and is not dependent upon developmental stages but on experiences and autobiography. In order to investigate preservice music teacher identity in this way, one must include more aspects of identity than simply musician-performer or teacher and also should account for preservice music teachers’ experiences beyond those in the music teacher education program. For the purposes of this study, then, I considered teacher identity through Olsen’s (2008) model, which is a “dynamic, holistic interaction among multiple parts” (p. 25). Six components comprise Olsen’s (2008) model of teacher identity development: (1) reasons for entry; (2) teacher education experience; (3) current teaching context/practice; (4) career plans/teacher retention; (5) prior experience, including family and schooling; and (6) prior professional experience, including work with children. Olsen (2008) characterizes this model as a sociocultural model, created through a lens informed by 5 Early Field Experiences in Preservice Music Teacher Education sociohistorical perspectives such as social and critical theory (Bourdieu, 1991; Holquist, 1990; Lave & Holland, 2001), phenomenology (Heidegger, 1997/1927), and sociolinguistics (Gee, 1992, 2000; Linde, 1993). Specifically, this model of identity is founded upon the belief that people are products of their social histories, move themselves from one facet of their identity to another, and “can in some limited sense choose to act in certain ways considered by them to be coherent with their own self-understandings” (p. 24). As a framework for exploring preservice music teacher identity, this model accounts for aspects of self beyond musician, performer, and teacher. Researchers have identified field experiences as important in the secondary socialization and identity construction of preservice music teachers (Conkling, 2004; Haston & Russell, 2012; Hourigan & Scheib, 2009; McDowell, 2007; Paul, 1998; Thompson, 2000). Furthermore, the 2017-2018 Handbook of the National Association of Schools of Music (2017) states that institutions should encourage observation and teaching experiences prior to formal admission to the teacher education program and that, ideally, such opportunities should be provided in actual school situations. Specifically, researchers have identified multiple benefits of early field experience for preservice music teachers, including developing an understanding of actual classroom settings (Bergee, 2006; Butler, 2001; Colwell, 1995; Hourigan & Scheib, 2009), opportunities to assess their potential as teachers (Aiken & Day, 1999; Reynolds & Conway, 2003), increased teacher confidence (Bergee, 2006; Hourigan & Scheib, 2009; Reynolds & Conway, 2003), and increased motivation to teach (Aiken & Day, 1999). Moreover, studies have indicated that preservice teachers who engage in early field experiences may develop a commitment both to 6 Field Observations students and to the teaching profession (Aiken & Day, 1999; Bergee, 2006; Reynolds & Conway, 2003). While researchers have examined early fieldwork in preservice music teacher education with regard to field teaching experiences (Butler, 2001; Warren, 2001; Conway, 2002 & 2012; McDowell, 2007; Pence, 2008; Powell, 2011, 2014) and, more specifically, student teacher readiness and performance (Fant, 1996; Hourigan & Scheib, 2009), research exploring the role and processes of music classroom observations in the field is limited. In her evaluation of a music teacher preparation program, Conway (2002) found that, although preservice fieldwork surfaced as one of the most valuable aspects of teacher preparation, participants identified early observations without context, specifically those lacking direction as to where and how the preservice teachers should focus their attention during observations, as lacking value. Ten years later, Conway (2012) again examined the reflections of the participants in the previous study, who now were experienced teachers, and the issue of observation without context surfaced again as a theme; Conway expressed the need for research focusing on field observations as a part of preservice music teacher socialization. Powell (2011) examined preservice music teachers’ perceptions of an initial field- teaching experience, in which the participants first observed a middle school band class and, the following week, taught a portion of that same class. When asked about their experiences observing in the context of this study, participants compared these meaningful and positive observation experiences to those from previous music education courses, expressing that “too much time had been spent in passive observation without context or 7 specific goals” (p. 20). This finding, along with Powell’s (2011) statement that research examining observation methods and sequencing would be valuable especially to understanding preservice music teachers’ skill development aligns with Conway’s (2002, 2012) findings and suggestions. Videotape observation. Field observations and field-teaching experiences are common practices in music teacher preparation programs, but the act of in-field observation is a relatively unexamined practice within music teacher preparation. There is, however, a body of research that has investigated what preservice music teachers notice when completing observation tasks while watching videotaped music classes or excerpts of music classes. Several studies have found that preservice teachers identify or make comments about more teacher behaviors than student behaviors (Duke & Pricket, 1987; Standley & Greenfield, 1987; Yarbrough & Henley, 1999; Henninger, 2002; Berg, 2002; Madsen & Cassidy, 2005; Androutsos & Humphreys, 2010). Additionally, preservice music teachers with prior teaching experience may make more comments than those without teaching experience (Berg, Woody, & Bauer, 2002; Androutsos & Humphreys, 2010), and they may be more critical of the teachers they observe (Madsen et al., 1992; Madsen, 2003; Madsen & Cassidy, 2005). Those with previous teaching experience also may be more capable of higher-level reflective thinking (Berg et al., 2002). Field observations and preservice music teacher identity. The bulk of literature pertaining to preservice music teachers’ observations focuses on what they observe, such as teacher- or student specific-behaviors, or how they rate pre-determined aspects of the teaching and learning when observing a videotaped teaching excerpt. Teacher effectiveness often appears as an area of inquiry within these studies. While researchers have collected 8 forms of both qualitative and quantitative data during these studies, their analyses have resulted in quantitative reports of their findings, many without consideration of the observers’ personal backgrounds, self-identified areas of focus within music education, or experiences within the collegiate music education program. Observation skills, implicitly defined within the literature as preservice music teachers’ abilities to observe the “correct” aspects of teacher and student behaviors, are commonly discussed within this related literature. While there is value in understanding— and merit in developing—the observation skills of preservice music teachers, what constitutes these “correct” aspects may not be generalizable across diverse teaching and learning contexts. Through a qualitative exploration of what preservice music teachers observe and how they make meaning of what they observe, music educators may gain a richer insight into what their students observe and an increased understanding of how they process those observations. Walls and Samuels’ (2011) assertion that observations must be applicable to the observer in order to generate meaning raises questions about the definition of “applicable,” who determines an observation’s applicability and under what criteria, what meaning preservice teachers place on the practice of field observations, and what meanings they make from their field observations. By focusing on the observation experience and qualitatively investigating the ways that preservice music teachers both experience their initial field observation and, subsequently, make meaning of what they observe, music teacher educators may be able to examine one of the earliest field experiences in the secondary socialization of preservice music teachers. 9 Need for the Study The need for continuing research focused on field observations in preservice music teacher education is acknowledged in past literature (Brophy, 2002; Ballantyne & Packer, 2004; Powell 2011; Conway 2012), but field observation has yet to be investigated in depth, aside from its connection to field-teaching experiences or as an exercise involving videotaped excerpts from music classroom contexts. In fact, only one study (Walls & Samuels, 2011) has taken a qualitative approach to exploring aspects of preservice music teachers’ field observation experiences. Still, their research examines field observation in conjunction with preservice music teachers designing an observation instrument, and for Conway (2002) and Powell (2011), information related to the observation experience has arisen only as a result of inquiries with other foci. As Lortie (2002) suggests, preservice music teachers may need experiences to disrupt the apprenticeship of observation. Numerous studies have both explored and suggested models for field-teaching experiences (Teachout, 1997; Isbell 2008; Pence & McGillivray, 2008; Hixon & So, 2009; Powell, 2014), while field-observation methods and experiences remain relatively unexamined. A qualitative exploration of the initial field- observation experiences of preservice music teachers may provide music teacher educators with a broader understanding of what preservice music teachers observe, how aspects of their identities might impact what they notice or how they make meaning of what they notice, and in what ways those observations impact their perceptions of music teaching and learning. With this understanding, music teacher educators may be able to make more informed decisions about how to structure preservice music teachers’ field observation experiences, including approaches to pre-observation preparation and post- 10 Purpose Statement and Research Problems observation reflection, and may find value in considering preservice music teachers’ identities beyond the dichotomy of musician-performer and teacher. With the intent of informing music teacher educators in their work with and preparation of preservice music teachers, the purpose of this study was to examine the initial field-observation experiences of preservice music teachers enrolled in an introductory music education course. The “grand tour” question guiding this study was, how do preservice music teachers enrolled in an introductory music education course make meaning of their first observations of a music classroom in K-12 schools within their teacher education program? From this overarching question, I sought to address the following subquestions: 1. What do preservice music teachers notice during their first field observation? 2. In what ways, if any, do preservice music teachers draw connections between their teacher identities and what they notice during an observation? 3. How do preservice music teachers negotiate the aspects of their observations that conflict with their teacher identities? 11 CHAPTER 2: REVIEW OF RELATED LITERATURE Early Field Experiences and Preservice Music Teacher Identity Despite being a common element of introductory music education and methods courses, there is little research that examines the role of field observations in preservice music teacher socialization. This study examined the initial field observations of preservice music teachers, specifically what preservice music teachers noticed during the observation, what connections they made to aspects of their teacher identity in making meaning of the observation experience, and how the observations challenged aspects of their teacher identity; thus, this chapter includes a review of the existing literature related to music classroom field observations and similar observation tasks, as well as how teacher identity has been explored through fieldwork experiences. Educators and teacher educators have examined the impact of field experiences on preservice teachers as well as the field experience practices in teacher education programs for over a century. Prior to the 1980s, these discussions mostly centered on the student teaching experience but, more recently, researchers have explored early field experiences within teacher education programs (Kim, 2013). Early field experiences entail the application or the observed application in the field of principles and skills acquired within the teacher education program prior to student teaching (Aiken & Day, 1999; Bergee, 2006; Butler, 2001; Reynolds & Conway, 2003). In addition to opportunities to experience the role of a teacher and examine teaching as a career, a desired outcome for preservice teachers as a result of early field experiences is for them, over time, to think and solve problems as teachers. To some researchers, this ability encapsulates teacher identity; 12 however, defining the construct of teacher identity across music education research would be impossible. There are, as Haston and Russell (2012) state, a number of terms and labels associated with teacher identity development: teacher disposition, teacher identity, identity construction, role socialization, teacher socialization, identity development, occupational identity, and occupational socialization. Music education researchers have yet to agree on a definition of terms, which limits the ability to examine and conceptualize teacher identity development consistently (Haston & Russell, 2012). Rather than isolating music teacher identity development studies from the extant literature, I have included a literature review of studies that have explored, as I did in this study, the relationship between early field experiences and music teacher identity development. The studies reviewed in this section relate to the present study through their exploration of what music education majors notice—or how they direct their attention— during observation tasks. With few exceptions, these studies provide quantitative analyses of what preservice music teachers notice, specifically with regard to whether—and under what conditions—they focus on the teacher or the students. This literature provides insight into the types of questions researchers have sought to answer about preservice music teachers’ observations of music teaching and learning in various contexts. Yarbrough and Henley (1999) sought to determine whether focusing observers’ attention on the students rather than the teacher would affect their assessment of teaching in various choral rehearsal situations. This study was their third in a series of studies designed to examine effective choral rehearsal techniques in a collegiate setting. While Observation in Music Teacher Education 13 arguably different from examining a P-12 classroom setting, this study was among the first studies in music education to address and explore the effects of observing student-focused video excerpts as opposed to teacher-focused video excerpts. The participants were music education majors from four large state university schools of music (N = 176), comprised of female (n = 111) and male (n = 64), as well as graduate (n = 57) and undergraduate (n = 119) students with a vocal (n = 89), instrumental (n = 81), or combination vocal and instrumental (n = 3) focus. These participants were in one of two groups, one that observed and evaluated a video containing seven rehearsal excerpts in which the camera focused on the conductor/teacher (n = 89) and one that observed and evaluated the same excerpts but with the camera focused on the student singers instead of the teacher (n = 87). The researchers identified specific behaviors within each excerpt, such as student off-task behavior, teacher eye contact, teacher facial approvals, and the number of activity changes. Watching either the teacher-focused or student-focused video in small groups, the participants completed an evaluation form for which they rated each excerpt from 1 (lowest) to 10 (highest) across ten categories: (a) use of rehearsal time; (b) musicianship; (c) accuracy of instruction; (d) student attentiveness; (e) student performance; (f) enthusiasm; (g) intensity; (h) pacing; (i) personality; and (j) overall. The evaluation forms also included space for participants to write comments about each excerpt. For both of the groups, the researchers calculated the ten categories’ mean ratings for each of the seven excerpts. Analysis showed that participants rated the teaching behaviors higher in the teacher-focused video than in the student-focused video. Regardless of the observational focus, the use of rehearsal time, musicianship, and accuracy 14 of instruction categories received the highest ratings, while pacing, intensity, enthusiasm, and personality received the lowest. The category of student attentiveness also earned higher ratings from the participants who viewed the teacher-focused video. The researchers coded participants’ written comments as either positive or negative and as pertaining to either the students or the teacher. For both participant groups, there were more comments about the teacher than the students. Additionally, the researchers found that the highest-rated excerpt demonstrated a low percentage of student off-task behavior, a high percentage of approvals, and rapid pacing. While the researchers interpreted these and other findings to make inferences about teacher effectiveness within the ensemble setting, as well as suggestions for music teacher preparation, this study contributes to the literature exploring preservice music teachers’ observations in various contexts and under various conditions. Henninger (2002) investigated whether preservice music teachers’ observations differed when the observer was informed of the teacher’s instructional goals, as opposed to when the observer was unaware of the instructional goals. By using videotaped excerpts of middle- and high-school band rehearsals as well as one-on-one instrumental lessons, she also sought to determine whether the observation setting influenced the observers’ perceptions. Participants (N = 120) enrolled in music teacher preparation programs at six universities in the United States of America completed the video observation task, half of which (n = 60) had been informed of the instructional objectives prior to viewing the video. While the specific rehearsal excerpts differed on each of the three different stimulus tapes, the participants watched the observation settings in the same order. Participants wrote notes during and after each excerpt and were encouraged to consider the following: setting, 15 teacher behavior, teacher/student interactions, lesson organization, student performance, and other student behavior. After observing all six excerpts, participants answered additional questions regarding teacher behaviors, student behaviors, and known (or perceived) instructional objectives. Henninger coded the participants’ statements according to three different variables: whether they (1) addressed the behavior of the teacher, the student, or some other aspect; (2) were factual or inferential; and (3) were positive or negative. The participants wrote a total of 4,247 interpretable statements. Regardless of whether they had been informed of the instructional goals, participants’ statements more frequently addressed teacher behaviors (n = 3,382) than student behaviors (n = 594). Participants who were not informed of the teachers’ instructional objectives wrote more statements overall (n = 2,350) than those who were aware of the objectives (n = 1,887). Henninger suggests that the attention of those participants may have been less focused, given that they were not instructed to look for specific instructional goals. Similarly, those participants may have written more because they were trying to identify objectives, which was unnecessary in the other group. The participants who did not receive the instructional goals also wrote more positive statements than the participants who had received the instructional goals, perhaps because they viewed the lesson excerpts more globally rather than focusing on whether the students were meeting specific learning goals. Notably, in the additional questions following the videotape excerpts, no participants addressed the students or students’ behaviors. That the participants focused more on teacher behaviors than student behaviors is consistent with past literature (Greenfield, 1978; Standley & Greenfield, 1987; Standley & Madsen, 1991). Though Henninger collected demographic 16 data as well as information regarding the educational background and music experience of each participant, this information was not reported, nor does it seem to have been considered in the analysis or interpretation of the results. Berg, Woody, and Bauer (2002) also used videotaped teaching excerpts in an observation activity with second-year, preservice music teachers enrolled in their first music education course. The purpose of their study was to examine the focus of attention as well as the reflective thinking in preservice music teachers’ retrospective reports of videotaped teaching episodes. As opposed to having the participants write notes or address prompts while they viewed excerpts of middle- and high-school band rehearsals, the researchers prompted each participant (N = 24) immediately after viewing the videotape to reflect on what they observed. Additionally, participants completed a questionnaire at the end of the activity in which they supplied information about the number of hours they had spent teaching in private and group settings, either within a school or in a community context. The researchers used the software application Multiple Protocol Analysis System to assign codes objectively to the verbal protocol reports, which they then organized based upon how the comments pertained to focus (none, teacher, learners, subject matter, or environment) and reflection (none, commenting on an aspect of teaching/learning, providing an explanation for an observation or making a cause and effect link, recognizing a problem, or generating a problem solution). While this report includes quotes from participants to illustrate the various codes, the results from this study were based upon frequency distributions created for focus and reflection categories, rather than an analysis of the participants’ comments for emergent themes or codes. 17 Consistent with previous research (Duke, 1983; Duke & Prickett, 1987), the researchers identified the placement of the video camera, which predominantly captured the teacher, as a likely explanation for the high number of statements (64%) pertaining to the teachers. Statements regarding the learners accounted for 25% of the total comments, while 5% addressed the environment, and another 5% pertained to the subject matter. The reflective statements were more balanced, with 28% about an aspect of teaching and learning, 25% containing an explanation of an observed event, 22% identifying a problem, and 11% offering a solution to an identified issue. There was a moderate, positive correlation (r = 0.41) between the amount of prior group music teaching experience and higher-level reflective thinking (as defined by Van Manen, 1977 and King & Kitchener, 1994), suggesting that past experience may impact what preservice teachers notice when watching recorded teaching excerpts and their ability to articulate solutions to problems they observe. Additionally, the researchers noted that looking at participants’ frequency distributions also could provide insight into individuals’ developmental progression from lower- to middle-level reflective thinking. experience affected participants’ perceptions of teaching effectiveness and student learning when they were observing videotaped music classes in which the camera’s focus was either on the students or the teacher. There were three equal groups of participants (N = 78): (1) junior undergraduate music education students with no prior practicum teaching experience; (2) junior and senior undergraduate music education students with practicum teaching experience but who had not yet student taught; and (3) graduate students with full-time experience teaching music. As opposed to similar studies that used short teaching Madsen and Cassidy (2005) examined whether different levels of teaching 18 excerpts, the stimulus videotapes for this study contained 30-minute classes of first and third grades, both taught by the same teacher. A key difference in this study’s design was the added aspect of video camera orientation. Both classes were recorded from two perspectives, one capturing only the teacher (with minimal view of the students) and the other capturing only the students (with minimal view of the teacher). Though each participant group viewed both a first- and third-grade class, half of the participants within each group viewed those focused on the teacher while the other half viewed those focused on the students. After viewing each class, participants completed an observation form in which they rated both teacher effectiveness and how well students learned the material or skills presented in the lesson on a scale of 1 (low) to 10 (high). Participants also provided written rationale for each rating, and these descriptions were categorized as either teacher-related or student-related. Four themes emerged from the teacher-related comments: instruction, delivery, classroom management, and other general teaching comments. Student-related comments pertained either to academic behaviors, such as performance accuracy, or social behaviors, such as off-task behavior or following directions. A three-way analysis of variance indicated a significant difference among experience groups’ ratings (p = < .0001), and post hoc analyses showed that the participants with full- time teaching experience rated both teacher effectiveness and student learning lower than both undergraduate groups. Similarly, the experienced teachers made more judgment statements in the comments than the undergraduates. The participants’ overall ratings of the teacher’s effectiveness were higher than their ratings for the students’ success. Regardless of whether they watched teacher-focused or student-focused recordings, 19 participants wrote more comments about the teacher within all three groups. These findings support previous research that suggests that experienced teachers are more critical than preservice teachers in the evaluation of classroom music teaching (Madsen, Standley, Byo, & Cassidy, 1992; Cassidy, 1993; Madsen, 2003) and that observers tend to focus more on teachers than on students. Two findings of this study are slightly unexpected, the first being that the camera’s focus of attention had no significant effect on any group’s numerical ratings of teacher effectiveness or student learning. Perhaps, given that the form for the observation task necessitated a teacher effectiveness rating, one might infer that participants paid attention to teacher behaviors throughout each lesson, regardless of the camera’s focus. Also, while Fuller and Brown’s (1975) research regarding teacher concerns and anecdotal evidence suggest that experienced teachers might focus more on student behaviors than would preservice teachers in an observation task, Madsen and Cassidy (2005) found no such evidence. The researchers offer that the experienced teachers might have identified more with the observed teacher as a result of their own teaching experience. Androutsos and Humphreys (2010) compared the observations of Greek preservice music teachers before and after observation training. At this particular university, preservice music teachers completed required field-observation experiences during their last two years of coursework as a part of four required music education courses. Observations in the first course took place in elementary and secondary school settings, in elementary settings during the second course, and in secondary settings during the third course. During the fourth course, the preservice teachers first observed a particular class in either an elementary or secondary school for two weeks and then taught that same class 20 for five weeks, which served as their student teaching experience. Prior to observing in the field, they completed a 1-hour training that focused on several different aspects of observation: (1) singing, moving, listening, and playing instruments; (2) improvising and composing; (3) teaching procedures; (4) instructional content and teaching approaches as specified in the national curriculum; (5) establishing and maintaining discipline; (6) evaluation procedures; (7) general organization; (8) pacing; (9) instructional materials and equipment; (10) student attitudes; and (11) teacher self-evaluation procedures. Two groups of students served as participants (N = 62) for this study: preservice music teachers enrolled in the first (juniors) and fourth (seniors) courses. The juniors (n = 33) had not participated in formal observation tasks, either in the field or using videotape, while the seniors (n = 29) had completed approximately twelve total hours of observations in schools as a part of the first three courses. Each group viewed two tapes, one of a third- grade music classroom (elementary) and the other of an eighth-grade music classroom (secondary). The researchers suggested that participants take notes while watching the tapes and, after watching each lesson, gave them 25 minutes to write narrative descriptions of the lesson they had seen. Though the researchers encouraged the participants to refer to those notes when writing the narrative lesson description, they gave no other instructions. The researchers coded participants’ responses using a system developed by Goodman (2006), in which each comment is categorized first as relating to the (1) lesson, (2) teacher, or (3) students and then by a subcategory. “Lesson” subcategories included: (a) appropriateness; (b) content; (c) focus; and (d) content of the previous lesson. “Teacher” subcategories included: (a) classroom atmosphere; (b) personal experience; (c) pace of the lesson; and teacher (d) enthusiasm, (e) feedback, (f) involvement, and (g) expectation. 21 “Students” subcategories included (a) participation and (b) response. Androutsos and Humphreys (2010) found that participants with prior observation experience made more comments than less experienced observers, which suggests that observation training and experience in a music teacher education program may contribute to preservice music teachers’ improved observation skills. Individual participants tended to write the same number of comments for the third-grade class as the eighth-grade class, regardless of the course in which they were enrolled; however, there were larger differences between the comment categories. While the finding that preservice teachers made more comments about teachers than about lessons or students supports previous research (Berg et al., 2002; Duke & Prickett, 1987; Henninger, 2002; Standley & Greenfield, 1987; Yarbrough & Henley, 1999), Androutsos and Humphreys (2010) additionally identified senior females’ observations of the secondary music lesson as the largest contributor to teacher-focused comments. Within the “teacher” observation category, more than half (57%) of the total comments were about teacher involvement. The preservice teachers’ comments indicated more interest in teacher feedback at the elementary level and a greater focus on teacher expectation at the secondary level. Despite some attention to classroom atmosphere at both levels, participants made few or no comments related to other subcategories within the “teacher” category; the researchers state that this may suggest a lack of training that helps preservice teachers to identify aspects of teaching that relate to teacher effectiveness. Most of the comments (72%) within the “lesson” observation category pertained to lesson content and some related to classroom atmosphere. The preservice music teachers enrolled in the fourth-semester music education course seemed to focus more on the 22 content of the previous lesson, whereas those in the first-semester course focused more on the appropriateness of the current lesson. Within the “students” observation category, preservice music teachers in the fourth-semester music education course showed more interest in student participation during the third-grade lesson, but those in the third- semester course showed comparable interest in student participation for both lessons. Both groups focused more on student participation (70%) than on student response (30%). Because many of the findings from this study were similar to those in previous research from the United States of America, Androutsos and Humphreys (2010) asserted that differences in the observational abilities of preservice music teachers may be cross- cultural and cross-national. This study was the first to address and examine observation in actual classrooms as opposed to observation of videotaped music classes or music class excerpts. Through their collaborative action research study, Walls and Samuels (2011) aimed to transform preservice music teachers’ perceptions of observation as an obligatory or meaningless task to an authentic means of developing their teaching skills. This study explored field observation in two ways: (1) preservice music teachers observing in-service music teachers; and (2) preservice music teachers being observed during field- and peer- teaching experiences. As teachers of instrumental methods and practicum courses at two different universities, the researchers felt that, by having their students collaborate with them to devise criteria for observation, the students would be more likely to value information gained through the observation process. Participants at University A (n = 5) were three junior or senior instrumental music education majors and two masters students enrolled in an instrumental methods course, 23 which met once a week for two hours and required 15 hours of teacher observation in the schools. This was both the undergraduate and graduate participants’ first music education course. During the semester, students executed mini peer-teaching lessons and rehearsed a large concert band three times. Participants at University B (n = 12) were senior music education majors enrolled in an instrumental practicum course that met in area schools for 3 hours a day, 3 days a week, and included an on-campus seminar every sixth meeting. These participants previously had completed 24 hours of music teacher observations and mini peer-teaching lessons in two previous music methods courses. University B participants were required to observe teachers and peers in the field as well as be observed teaching beginning band lessons. While the procedures developed slightly differently at each university, the researchers worked collaboratively throughout the semester to inform classroom procedures at each location. Researchers first engaged the participants in discussions about keeping track of their observations in the field and examined both their respective university’s student teacher observation forms, as well as observation forms that the researchers had acquired or used in the past. After observing in the field while using these previously developed forms, students discussed the experience of using each form and the form’s usefulness. The participants then created their own observation forms, which they used in evaluating a peer teaching activity. Based on discussions about the usefulness and effectiveness of their self-created forms, each class created an observation form to be used for the remainder of the semester. The researchers interviewed six cooperating teachers and six student informants at the end of this process. Data included participants’ assignments (completed observation forms, both extant 24 and self-created, and student reflections on the observation process), researcher journals, and interview transcripts. Walls and Samuels’ (2011) findings centered around three major themes: (1) identifying and assessing observable skill traits; (2) creating usable and informative observation forms; and (3) identifying the needs for observations. The researchers found that, for observations to generate meaning, they must be applicable to the individual either making the observation or to the individual being observed (or both). Participants described the value of observing in the field as being able to witness teaching strategies about which they had only read, and others expressed the process of creating an observation form as opening their eyes to the complexities and subtleties of teaching. Additionally, both instructors noted an enthusiasm and depth of thought within their students that they had not seen in previous iterations of the course. Walls and Samuels’ (2011) is the only study to examine preservice music teachers’ field observations qualitatively. Summary From these studies, music teacher educators can make several inferences about what preservice music teachers notice during observation tasks as well as what factors may influence their observations. First, several studies have found that preservice teachers identify or make more comments about teacher behaviors than student behaviors (Duke & Pricket, 1987; Standley & Greenfield, 1987; Yarbrough & Henley, 1999; Henninger, 2002; Berg, 2002; Madsen & Cassidy, 2005; Androutsos & Humphreys, 2010). This finding was consistent among studies involving videotaped teaching excerpts, regardless of whether the camera’s focus was on the teacher, the students, or from a perspective capturing both 25 the teacher and the students (Duke & Prickett, 1987; Yarbrough & Henley, 1999; Madsen & Cassidy, 2005; Androutsos & Humphreys, 2010). Additionally, the amount of prior teaching experience that preservice music teachers have may affect their observations. While prior teaching experience may not result in their noticing student behaviors the same amount or more than teacher behaviors (Yarbrough & Henley, 1999), preservice teachers with prior teaching experience appear to make more total comments—whether written or verbal—than those without teaching experience (Berg et al., 2002; Androutsos & Humphreys, 2010). Moreover, those with prior teaching also may be more critical of the teachers they observe (Madsen et al., 1992; Madsen, 2003; Madsen & Cassidy, 2005) or more capable of higher-level reflective thinking (Berg et al., 2002). These studies have contributed to music teacher educators’ understanding of preservice music teachers’ observations of various music classroom contexts, and further research into these and other aspects of field observations may provide additional, valuable insight. In using these findings to inform the present study, several details about observation research seem salient. With one exception (Walls & Samuels, 2011), the extant observation literature focuses largely on what preservice music teachers notice during observations and, in some cases, how researcher-controlled factors affect what they notice or how they direct their attention during observations. Equally importantly, only two studies (Androutsos & Humphreys, 2010; Walls & Samuel, 2011) explored preservice music teachers’ observations in the field, as the majority of studies used videotaped recordings of music classrooms in conducting observation tasks. These studies point to the importance of the placement of video cameras when recording observation footage so that 26 it is focused neither solely on the teacher nor solely on the students. With this knowledge, I took care to document in-field observations (a design component I discuss in greater detail in Chapter 3) from an angle inclusive of both the teacher and the students. This review of literature points to the valuable insights that may be gained from a qualitative approach to examining preservice music teachers’ observations in the field, seeking to build upon the findings from extant literature. Because the vast majority of these studies involved video recordings as opposed to observations in an actual classroom setting, conducting a study focused on classroom observations as they occur in the field may provide additional insight to the nature of preservice music teachers’ observation experiences. Several studies found, through quantitative analyses, that preservice teachers notice and make more comments about teacher behaviors than student behaviors (Duke & Pricket, 1987; Standley & Greenfield, 1987; Yarbrough & Henley, 1999; Henninger, 2002; Berg, 2002; Madsen & Cassidy, 2005; Androutsos & Humphreys, 2010). A qualitative exploration such as this study may allow researchers more perspective on the nature and context of preservice music teachers’ comments and observations—explicitly through the participants’ interviews as well as inferentially as a result of the rigorous analysis of multiple data sources. Similarly, researchers have found that preservice music teachers with prior teaching experience make more comments during an observation task (Berg et al., 2002; Androutsos & Humphreys, 2010), examine teacher behaviors more critically (Madsen et al., 1992; Madsen, 2003; Madsen & Cassidy, 2005), and are more capable of reflective thinking (Berg et al., 2002) than their peers. By including the participants’ prior teaching experiences in the framework for data analysis, a qualitative examination may provide insight into why 27 this occurs and, more specifically, the connections preservice music teachers tend to make between what they observe and their previous teaching experiences. Perhaps most important, and because the intent for the findings of qualitative research is not generalizability, a qualitative examination such as the present study allows for the participants’ individual backgrounds and experiences to inform the researcher’s exploration of their field observations. In the same way that many music teacher educators believe in the importance of preparing preservice music teachers to teach responsively to the individual needs and backgrounds of their future students, it is my hope that this study will help music teacher educators approach the design and implementation of field observation experiences for the preservice music teachers with whom they work in a more meaningful way. Thus, a qualitative examination of preservice music teachers initial field observations, in which the goal is to understand not only what they observe but how they make meaning of those observations, may be a valuable addition to the literature. 28 CHAPTER 3: METHODOLOGY Design This study followed an instrumental case study design, in which I employed ethnographic methods of data collection. Creswell (2007) notes disagreement among researchers as to the definition of case study as a methodology, citing both Stake’s (1995) assertion that case study research is not a methodology but a choice of what is to be studied and Yin’s (2003) description of case study as a comprehensive research strategy. Despite these discrepancies, Merriam (1998) characterizes the uniqueness of a case study as the questions asked and their relationship to the end product rather than the methods employed. According to Stake (1995), the knowledge gained from case study research differs from other research knowledge in that it is: 1. More concrete—case study knowledge resonates with our own experience because it is more vivid, concrete, and sensory than abstract. 2. More contextual—our experiences are rooted in context, as is knowledge in case studies. This knowledge is distinguishable from the abstract, formal knowledge derived from other research designs. 3. More developed by reader interpretation—readers bring to a case study their own experience and understanding, which lead to generalizations when new data for the case are added to old data. These generalizations are “part of the knowledge produced by case studies” (p. 36). 4. Based more on reference populations determined by the reader—in generalizing as described above, readers have some population in mind. Thus, unlike 29 traditional research, the reader participates in extending generalization to reference populations. (pp. 35-36) The “single most defining characteristic of case study research lies in delimiting the object of study, the case” (Merriam, 1998, p. 27), which can be defined as a bounded system (Smith, 1978). Miles and Huberman (1994) describe the case as a “phenomenon of some sort occurring in a bounded context” (p. 25). Case studies aid in the understanding of processes of events, projects, and programs as well as the discovery of contextual characteristics that shed light on an issue or phenomenon (Sanders, 1981). Stake (1995) asserts that an instrumental case study is used in order to advance understanding beyond one particular case, elaborating that the case is of secondary interest. The case plays a supportive role, facilitating the understanding of something else or providing insight into an issue. Moreover, the case often is looked at in depth, its contexts scrutinized, and its ordinary activities detailed, because it helps the researcher pursue an external interest (Stake, 1995). Applying this to the present study, the case is an introductory music education course at a large midwestern university, and the phenomenon is the students’ initial field observations. The introductory music course I examined through this study, Principles of Music Education I (MUE 101) 1, took place within a school of music at a suburban public research university located in the Midwestern region of the United States with an approximate enrollment of 50,000 students. The music education program at this university is “de- 1 Course numbers have been changed in an attempt to protect the anonymity of the institution. Case Setting and Description 30 tracked” (Albert, 2015), and its preservice music teachers fulfill degree requirements by choosing the methods courses that best fit their teaching interests rather than selecting a pre-determined set of coursework for a single track (e.g., choral or instrumental). Within the sequence of music education coursework, students2 first take MUE 101 then MUE 201, Principles of Music Education II; the content and experiences of MUE 101 act as a precursor to that of MUE 201. Upon successful completion of 56 credits, including both MUE 101 and 201 as well as other music courses, students are eligible for advanced standing in the music education program, after which they may take upper-level, music education methods courses. MUE 101, a two-credit course that met twice a week for 50 minutes, is the first in the two-course sequence that focuses on contemporary and philosophical issues within music education as well as music teacher identity development. MUE 101 is offered during the fall and spring semesters and typically is taken during students’ freshman year, though exceptions are made depending upon when a student is accepted to the school of music and the time at which they declare music education as their major. As stated in the university’s schedule of courses, this discussion-based course addresses “historical foundations, current trends, and teaching responsibilities in music education at all curricular levels.” The MUE 101 syllabus listed the following course goals: 1. To explore our unique experiences, personality traits, and beliefs as they relate to teaching and learning 2 For the sake of clarity, I refer to preservice music teachers as “students” in this section when discussing them in the context of MUE 101. 31 Role of the Researcher 2. To challenge our assumptions and beliefs about music teaching and learning as well as dominant ideas in the profession of teaching and music teaching 3. To build & grow awareness, sensitivity, and respect toward diverse and varied student populations 4. To develop a personal philosophy of music teaching and learning (2017, p. 1) In addition to each week’s class meetings, students completed three field observations throughout the semester. I was the instructor of the MUE 101 class that serves as the case in this study, which allowed my role within the case to be one of participant observer. Additionally, I acted as a participant observer alongside the students during their initial field observations, providing transportation to and from the observation sites and observing the same K-12 music classes. As Creswell (2007) explains, “ethnography involves extended observations of the group, most often through participant observation, in which the researcher is immersed in the day-to-day lives of the people and observes and interviews the group participants” (p. 68). My role as both the instructor of MUE 101 and a participant observer during the field observations explored in this study afforded me opportunities to collect rich data through a variety of interactions and experiences with the participants. Furthermore, my role and presence as a doctoral student within the school of music placed me in the participants’ day-to-day lives on an additional level—one that may not be achievable as easily in future contexts due to increased power differentials (i.e. faculty- student dynamics). 32 Interpretive Phenomenology as a Framework In order to examine the participants’ field-observation experiences, their teacher identities, and interactions between the two, I employed two frameworks in this study. The first, an interpretive phenomenological framework, guided my analysis of the participants’ lived experiences as they completed their initial field observation. The second, Olsen’s (2008) model of teacher identity, provided a somewhat new approach to examining music teacher identity—one that values and considers their lived experiences both in and beyond music teaching and learning contexts. As the term “phenomenology” has become more popular and has been widely embraced in qualitative research practices, its meaning has become somewhat “confused and diluted” (Patton, 2015, pp. 117). Many prominent qualitative researchers across various disciplines have addressed this issue, but it is the relationship between knowledge and experience—particularly the belief that knowledge is constructed through experience—that constitutes a commonality among all the manifestations of phenomenology. Patton (2015) stresses that, when using a phenomenological inquiry framework, qualitative researchers and evaluators “should immerse themselves in its historical evolution” (p. 117). To that end, it is essential to state that my approach to the use of phenomenology as a framework was grounded in the interpretive tradition, which is based upon the philosophical work of Heidegger (1962). Heidegger’s philosophical beliefs about phenomenological inquiry diverged from those first put forth by Husserl (1933/1973), the originator of the descriptive phenomenological approach, and initiated the interpretive phenomenological approach. Additionally, Husserl’s phenomenology was Theoretical Lenses 33 originally intended to be a philosophical method; thus, an understanding of the philosophical underpinnings that shape one’s approach to phenomenology is essential. Without this awareness, conflicting perspectives that should neither be ignored nor combined may compromise the validity of the study (Giorgi, 2012). Patton (2015) describes the core focus of phenomenological inquiry as “the meaning, structure, and essence of the lived experience of a phenomenon for a person or group of people” (p. 115). The phenomena in question may be an emotion (e.g., anger, joy), experience (e.g., running a marathon, surviving an illness, a relationship), program or organization (i.e., the participants’ experiences as a part of said program or organization), or culture. In this study, then, I used an interpretive phenomenological framework to investigate the meaning, structure, and essence of the initial field experiences of preservice music teachers enrolled in an introductory music education course. Interpretive phenomenological inquiry operates under the assumption that humans “are embedded in their world to such an extent that subjective experiences are inextricably linked with social, cultural, and political contexts” (Lopez & Willis, 2004, p. 729). Heidegger (1962) called this relationship “situated freedom,” meaning that humans are free to make choices, but the conditions of their daily lives affect that freedom. In this way, I believe preservice music teachers’ prior experiences and identities impact what they notice as well as how they make meaning of what they notice during a field observation. To account for this aspect of the observation experience, I turned to Olsen’s (2008) model of teacher identity (Figure 1). Preservice teacher identity construction research has been examined through the broad framework of social constructivism (Vygotsky, 1962), but it also has been examined Olsen’s (2008) Model of Teacher Identity Development 34 more specifically through symbolic interactionism (Mead, 1934; Blumer, 1969), dramaturgy (Goffman, 1959), and role theory (Biddle & Thomas, 196). In the body of literature examining music teacher identity construction, the focus often is on the dualism of preservice music teachers’ established musician-performer identities and their developing teacher identities. With regard to teacher education research, Olsen (2008) wrote: I believe teacher identity as an analytical frame, and the ecological research models that surround it, offer promise for others interested in investigating the situated, ever-changing ways in which teachers are forever “becoming.” Methodologies like teacher interview/analysis, ethnography, narrative analysis, and action research— along with critical, holistic modes of analysis that foreground identity studies— should continue to deepen our understanding of how teachers actually develop, and how who one is as a person has a lot to do with who one is as a teacher. In these ways, I believe teacher identity offers promise. (pp. 38-39) Olsen’s statement provides support not only for the intent of the present study but also for the necessity of exploring music teacher identity in a more holistic way than previous approaches. This principle aligns with the Heidegger’s concept of “situated freedom” within interpretive phenomenology, thus indicating the philosophical alignment of the two frameworks I employed in this study. As a framework for exploring preservice music teacher identity, this model allowed insight into many aspects of the participants’ lived experiences. 35 36 Figure 1. Olsen’s “Teacher Identity as Dynamic, Holistic Interaction among Multiple Parts” (2008, p. 25). Olsen (2008) depicts each aspect contained in his model “as an opening into the holistic, circular mix of how any teacher’s past, present, and future are linked; how the personal and the professional are in many ways inextricable; how context and self interact; and how each teacher component mediates (and is mediated by) the others” (pp. 24-25). In essence, these aspects may be considered in a chronological sequence but, “epistemologically, they are intertwined and continually loop back and forth to influence each other in mutually constitutive ways” (p. 23). Olsen (2008) continues: Teacher development is circular even as it is also forward-moving: a teacher is always collapsing the past, present, and future into a complex mélange of professional beliefs, goals, memories, and predictions while enacting practice. This [model], then, considers how teachers rely on embedded understandings of and for themselves as teachers, which derive from personal and prior experiences as well as professional and current ones. These embedded understandings shape how teachers interpret, evaluate, and continuously collaborate in the construction of their own early development. (pp. 23-24) When applied in the context of preservice music teacher identity research, this broader approach accounts both for the life experiences of preservice music teachers prior to entering a music education program and for those during the music teacher education program. These considerations were important not only to my examination of the ways in which preservice music teachers’ teacher identities (as defined by Olsen, 2008) may impact their field-observation experiences but also to their personal explorations of their identities in the context of MUE 101 this semester. Given that the case in question was the introductory music education course for which I was the instructor, I selected participants first through a combination of convenience and criterion sampling and then through the use of maximum variation sampling (Creswell, 2007). A convenience sampling strategy indicates that the participants will be “individuals from which the researcher can access and easily collect data” (Creswell, 2007, p. 126). Having been the instructor of MUE 101, there was an element of convenience in that I asked my students to participate in this study. Each of the 19 students consented to participate, at which point they became secondary participants. To be certain that I was examining preservice music teachers’ initial field observation experiences as students in a music teacher education program, I limited primary participation only to those MUE 101 students for whom this was their first field-observation experience in a music classroom context. Creswell (2007) identifies the use of such criteria in participant selection as Participant Selection 37 Data Collection and Procedures Determining and Scheduling Observation Groups criterion sampling. From the pool of secondary participants who also met the aforementioned criterion, I employed maximum variation sampling in order to have greater diversity among primary participants with regard to musical background, primary instrument of study at the university, gender identity, and race. Of the 19 secondary participants, I selected seven to serve as primary participants. The focus of this study was preservice music teachers’ first field observation experience as undergraduate music education majors enrolled in MUE 101. As such, I collected data before, during, and after each initial field observation experience as well as within the context of MUE 101 through assignments and during class meetings. The fieldwork component for MUE 101 required students to complete three observations, each in a different K-12 public school music education setting. A graduate assistant serving as Field Placement Coordinator (FPC) arranged and determined observation sites from a list provided by the faculty, collected schedules from the MUE 101 students and compared the availability of area music educators to the MUE 101 students’ schedules. Then the FPC divided the class into groups of three to four students, bearing in mind three considerations (1) students’ self-identified primary type of ensemble participation; (2) means of transportation; and (3) scheduling availability. By asking students to identify their primary type of ensemble participation (band, choral/vocal, or orchestra), the FPC gained insight not only into the types of ensembles in which the students were performing but also the types of ensembles in which they were likely to have performed prior to entering college. 38 Noting the powerful effect of what Lortie (2002) called the “apprenticeship of observation,” the music education faculty designed these MUE 101 field experiences to have students observe in less familiar contexts than those with which they had the most prior or recent experience. Albert (2016) found that placing students who observed in less familiar observation contexts was a “disruptive” influence on students’ occupational identities and challenged their conceptions of music education. The participants in this study observed within a context that was likely to be different from their elementary and secondary experiences. For example, a typical observation placement for students who identified choral/vocal as their primary type of ensemble participation might include a second-grade general music classroom, a seventh- and eighth-grade band class, and a high- school orchestra class. At the time of this study, freshmen at this university were not allowed to have vehicles on campus. Because many of the students in MUE 101 did not have a vehicle on or off campus, identifying those students with access to a vehicle—and who were willing to transport others—played a role in determining how students were organized into field observation groups. The FPC prioritized the grouping of students first by primary ensemble participation, then considering transportation availability and students’ schedules. I assisted the FPC in communicating with area teachers and organizing visits for the MUE 101 students to the extent that she deemed it helpful and appropriate. Prior to the observation experience, the FPC visited MUE 101 once, in the second week of the semester. She described the process by which the students should submit their schedules to her as well as other pertinent information regarding communication about the observations. In her closing statements to the students, she shared her personal journey to 39 Personal Narrative Projects becoming an elementary music educator. She recounted that she had entered her undergraduate program feeling certain she “wanted to be the epitome of a high school choral director” (Audio Recording, September 13, 2017) but, after assisting one elementary music class, knew that elementary general music was what she wanted to teach. She suggested to the students that they keep their minds open with regard to where they might see themselves teaching, both this semester as they observed different K-12 music classes and during the upcoming years in the music education program. The first required project for MUE 101 students, due at the conclusion of the third week of the semester, was to write and submit a personal narrative. This project was described as follows in the course syllabus: Students will write a 3- to 4-page narrative describing their personal background in music education. Using rich description, they will tell the story of their experiences with music and music teachers (at home, at school, or any other context outside of school) and describe their journey to becoming a musician. The narrative will also explore students’ personal strengths and weaknesses as they relate to adopting the role of music educator. This should include personality characteristics, prior preparation as a musician and/or teacher, and any other factors they feel might impact their ability to lead others. (MUE 101, p. 4) With regard to researching lived experiences, van Manen (1990) describes self-reflection as an act that allows humans to become closer to an experience by taking into account other aspects of their being (van Manen, 1990). This assignment challenged students to 40 Pre-Observation Class: Teachers as Ethnographers reflect upon their experiences in music education prior to college and also provided insight into aspects of their teacher identities (as defined by Olsen, 2008). Studies have found that preservice music teachers need context or specific goals for observations so that they are meaningful (Conway, 2002, 2012; Powell, 2011); therefore, I would have been remiss to exclude observation preparation for the participants. Also, given the body of research indicating that, during observation tasks, preservice music teachers likely will notice teacher behaviors more frequently (Duke & Pricket, 1987; Standley & Greenfield, 1987; Yarbrough & Henley, 1999; Henninger, 2002; Berg, 2002; Madsen & Cassidy, 2005; Androutsos & Humphreys, 2010) and critique them more harshly (Madsen et al., 1992; Madsen, 2003; Madsen & Cassidy, 2005) than student behaviors, I felt that preparing the preservice music teachers to observe should address, in some way, observing many aspects of the setting and class in which one observes. My approach to observation preparation involved dedicating one class meeting of MUE 101 to framing field observation as an ethnographic practice, specifically exploring how teachers might act as ethnographers in classroom settings. During this class meeting, which occurred immediately prior to the participants’ first observations, we explored what an ethnographer is and does, as well as other aspects of ethnographic fieldwork, including issues of access, participant observation, approaches to taking fieldnotes, and understanding how our personal “lenses” may impact what we see (or how we come to understand what we see) in the field. As the graduate assistant for MUE 101 during the Spring 2017 semester, I piloted this lesson prior to the preservice music teachers’ first field observation experiences for the course and replicated the design of that lesson. 41 I began with an observation activity in which the preservice music teachers completed a short, mock field observation as they watched a 5-minute video of a middle school general music class. To simulate a field observation and to eliminate the concerns associated with teacher-only focused video observations more fully, the video camera captured different perspectives of the classroom, moving gradually from the teacher to the students several times throughout the video. I asked the students to observe however they would like, taking notes during the observation on paper or using an electronic device, or writing notes immediately following our viewing of the video. After specifying that there would be 5 minutes for everyone to finalize or write their observation notes before we discussed the observation as a class, I played the observation video. At the conclusion of the observation activity, the students discussed their observation notes in groups of two to three with the intent of finding similarities and differences in what they individually observed, made note of, or questioned during the observation. I collected audio recordings of each group and later transcribed these small- group sessions. Next, we returned to our full-group seating arrangement so that individuals could share what they found during their small-group discussions. During this conversation, my first goal was to facilitate a discussion that allowed us to identify what aspects of the observation received the most attention and which were relatively unnoticed or unexamined. Next, I challenged the students to consider why certain aspects may have been observed or questioned more frequently, which segued into an exploration of the role our previous experiences and personal “lenses” may play in how and what we observe. Ethnographers are, in a sense, a very specific type of observer. While one 30- to 50- minute observation in a public-school music classroom does not equate to the prolonged 42 research or type of environment in which ethnographers typically engage, an ethnographic approach to this type of field observation or the use of ethnographic tools may be useful for preservice music teachers. Many principles of ethnography, such as participant observation, ethical considerations for entering the field environment, understanding one’s worldview and personal biases, and attention to human-human and human-environment reactions (Hammersley & Atkinson, 2007), may provide a starting place for preservice teachers as they venture into a variety of music teaching and learning contexts during their undergraduate careers. The conclusion of my pre-observation class framed observation in this way, prompting students to consider how they might insert themselves into the classrooms they would observe, how they might take fieldnotes in various settings, and how they might navigate both noticing during and reflecting after the observation. Having previously acted as a participant observer during preservice teachers’ field observations, I recognized the value of providing transportation for my participants to and from the observation sites, as the discussions that emerge prior to and immediately following the observations serve as a rich source of data. Koops (2014) also found that vehicles can provide a unique and valuable data collection environment. These undirected, informal conversations spoke to participants’ expectations for the class they were about to observe and often captured their most candid responses to the observation that they had just completed. In order to document this dialogue, I audio recorded the conversations in the car during each trip from campus to an observation site and from the observation site as we returned to campus. I transcribed these recordings as data, which I later coded and analyzed (Creswell, 2007). In-Transit Audio Recordings 43 44 Retrospective Think-Aloud Interviews Verbal protocol methods (Ericsson & Simon, 1973), commonly referred to as “think- alouds,” have become increasingly prevalent in educational and other social science research (Leighton, 2017). Think-aloud interviews elicit verbal response reports, a type of qualitative data, from participants as they say aloud what they are thinking, either while completing—or shortly after completing—a task. Ericsson and Simon (1980) were the first to make formal distinctions between two different types of think-aloud interviews and, consequently, what impact they may have on the interpretation of the verbal data. These two types are defined as “concurrent” think-aloud interviews, which occur when participants verbalize cognitive processes as they are happening, and “retrospective” think- aloud interviews, which occur when participants provide information about cognitive processes that occurred at some point prior to the verbalization. Verbal protocol methods, as based upon human information-processing theory, are intended to provide researchers with the means to identify the thoughts, cognitive processes, and strategies participants experience or use when problem solving through a task (Leighton, 2017). Thus, there is an assumption that the tasks or problems being investigated through the use of verbal protocol methods should have a solution or that the researcher has an understanding of possible desired outcomes. Bearing this assumption in mind, Ericsson and Simon’s (1993) quantitative methods of data analysis may not be valid for all verbal reports, specifically when the focus of inquiry is less on participants’ completion of one, narrow task and more concerned with gaining insight into their lived experiences. Yet, qualitative research “has become a legitimate, central methodology” (Matsunobu & Bresler, p. 21), and qualitative researchers have found the insight into participants’ thought processes gained from verbal reports to be a valuable source of data (Charters, 2003). By conducting individual retrospective think-aloud interviews with my participants as we watched together the recording of their field-observation experience, I was able to “get inside the heads” (Woody, 1999) of my students. Their verbal reports, along with a qualitative approach to analysis, allowed me to explore not only what these preservice music teachers observed—as does much of the previous research in this area— but how they made meaning of what they observed by placing it in the context of their own lives and experiences. Due to the nature of this study, the bulk of my data collection was concentrated within a relatively short amount of time, as the participants’ first field observations typically took place over a two-week period early in the semester. Additionally, the time- sensitive nature of retrospective think-aloud interviews (RTA) necessitated that I complete an RTA with each student as soon as possible following their field observation. To my knowledge, there are no resources that explicate the use of retrospective think-aloud interviews within qualitative research for purposes other than analyzing problem-solving techniques; however, it stands to reason that Ericsson and Simon’s (1973) emphasis on collecting retrospective verbal reports immediately after the tasks’ completion may have transferable application to the use of retrospective think-aloud interviews in other contexts. While their rationale is based upon the science of short- and long-term memory in conjunction with cognitive processes, a logical assumption that one will have clearer memories of an experience closer to the time the experience occurred drove me to pursue the RTAs as soon as possible, given both my and the participants’ schedules. 45 Written Observation Reflections Following each observation, students submitted an observation reflection within one week of the observation. The course syllabus contained the following description of this assignment: Observation Reflection papers: Reflection papers should be a minimum of 2 to 3 pages (double-spaced) and contain an ethnographic reflection of the observation experience, a topic we will explore further in class this semester. Rather than using this activity to negatively criticize professional music educators or their students, use it as an opportunity to broaden your perspectives and to experience diverse learning contexts in which to consider the topics being explored in this course. Reflections are due no more than one week after each observation takes place. Van Manen, noting that meaning is multidimensional, argues that “human science can only be communicated textually—by way of organized narrative or prose” (p. 78). The participants’ reflections provided additional insight into how they experienced and made meaning of their first field observation and allowed for data triangulation. To provide additional insight into the field observation experience, I collected a copy of the participants’ fieldnotes, when applicable. These fieldnotes contained information about what the participants noticed as well as what they found worthy of documenting during the observation. This knowledge provided additional context for the RTA interview process with each participant. Participant Fieldnotes 46 Researcher Fieldnotes Data Analysis and Trustworthiness As the instructor and a participant observer in MUE 101, I had access to students’ contributions during class discussions, some of which highlighted their previous experiences or referenced their initial field observation experiences. I took detailed fieldnotes (Creswell, 2007; Emerson, Fretz, & Shaw, 1995) immediately following any classes in which such discussions emerged. Similarly, I kept fieldnotes for each of the observations, taking care to remember and document those moments prior to and immediately following our arrival into the music classroom that were not caught on video camera or in-transit audio recording. As is common in qualitative research, I approached data collection and data analysis simultaneously. I wrote analytic memos throughout the data collection process in order to document emergent relationships and patterns within the data, which was useful in developing more concrete understandings during the on-going data analysis process (Emerson, Fretz, & Shaw, 1995). After completing data collection, I compiled and organized all data using Dedoose, a web-based data management and analysis system. I then completed two cycles of coding, as Saldaña (2016) suggests, in order to make meaning from the findings (Patton, 2012). During both cycles, I employed multiple coding methods in order to best serve the study’s research questions and goals (Saldaña, 2016), including eclectic coding (in this case, a combination of descriptive and process coding), simultaneous coding, focused coding, and pattern coding. Eclectic coding entails the use of “two or more compatible first cycle coding methods” (Saldaña, 2016, p. 213), purposefully combined to meet the needs of the study’s 47 data analysis. The use of descriptive coding allowed me to create a “basic vocabulary of data” (Saldaña, 2016, p. 102), specifically capturing what the participants noticed during their initial field observation experience. Process coding accounted for the “conceptual actions” (Saldaña, 2016, p. 111) of the participants as they made connections to and navigated their teacher identities as a result of their observations. Given the interconnectedness of the research questions as well as the interactive components of the two theoretical lenses for this study, simultaneous coding occurred throughout the first coding cycle. Saldaña (2016) identifies each of these coding methods as appropriate for qualitative studies with multiple, varied data sources. In the second coding cycle, I used focused coding and pattern coding to organize the initial codes into major themes and then “attribute meaning to that organization” (Saldaña, 2016, p. 235). Creswell (2007) states, “There are no ‘right’ stories, only multiple stories” and that we, as qualitative researchers, must “seek to have our account resonate with participants, to be an accurate reflection of what they said” (pp. 44–45). In addition to rigorous and careful design, Creswell recommends three trustworthiness procedures: data triangulation, review or member-checking by participants, and peer review. Employing multiple sources of data allowed for the process of data triangulation, and I allowed all participants to review and, if they desired, revise interview and audio transcripts to ensure that I portrayed their ideas and experiences accurately and fairly. Also, I sought the assistance of outside peer reviewers to read transcripts and provide feedback about my coding scheme. Although the reader may use “logical situational generalizability” (Schwartz, 1996, p. 7) to transfer the findings of this study to other populations, the findings of this study are Limitations 48 not generalizable to all contexts. My role as a teacher-researcher in this study may also be viewed as a limitation, given the power differential between teachers and their students. In seeking my students’ consent to participate in this study, I was explicit that neither their grade nor their relationship with me would be affected by their decision. Additionally, I explained that they each would have the opportunity to review any data I included in my study so that each participant would feel comfortable with how they and their words were being represented in the dissertation. For those who consented to participate, I also was explicit in communicating that I was in no way evaluating them or their thinking during data collection; rather, my intent was to document their experiences as honestly and impartially as possible so that I, and possibly other music teacher educators, can be better informed in our work with preservice music teachers. I brought to this study two passions, one created as a result of my personal journey as a preservice music teacher and the other discovered through more than a decade of teaching K-12 students in various contexts. When I began college as an eighteen-year-old undergraduate music education major, I was ecstatic about the opportunity to become a better singer. I was aware that, growing up in a suburb outside of Columbia, South Carolina, I had been a big fish in a relatively small pond, and the thought of taking private voice lessons and actually getting that “vibrato” thing seemed incredibly professional. I wanted to teach, and I wanted a voice that I could use easily for and with my future students. The excitement of vocal study—and singing in general—quickly faded due to a series of negative experiences with my private voice instructor, peaking with a moment halfway through the first semester in which she said, “Maybe one day, with enough training, you’ll Researcher Lens 49 be adequate enough to teach public school.” Perhaps implicit in that statement was that teaching is a lesser musical and life choice, and that my lack of classical vocal skills might even prevent me from being a lowly teacher. Time has afforded me the wisdom and perspective to know that I was not an “inadequate singer,” but that moment marked the beginning of a four-year battle, musically and emotionally, that had effects far beyond my undergraduate career. My own experiences navigating the dichotomy of musician-performer and teacher, both in terms of personal identity and within the culture of my undergraduate music program, have left me sensitive to the various challenges preservice music teachers face as undergraduate music education majors. In my work with preservice music teachers, this sensitivity translates into a passion for knowing my students beyond the musical selves they must develop through coursework and helping them to see that there are multiple ways of being musical, of teaching, and of existing in the world. Also, there is something about transitions in life that I find fascinating, particularly when I am in a position to be a positive contributor to someone’s life as they navigate a transition. During my time as a public-school music educator, I adored working with sixth- graders and high-school freshmen. These students were, in a system with sixth through eighth grade middle schools and ninth through twelfth grade high schools, transitioning from one school and group of students to another and were navigating any number of developmental changes in addition to a new school environment. Because music is present in students’ everyday lives, it can be a powerful force in helping students feel connected to a new environment or provide a connection to their life outside of school. A consistently inviting classroom atmosphere in which students feel connected and valued as individuals 50 is immeasurably impactful during transitions for students, and I have come to identify this as a priority in my teaching. My fascination with transitions and the role I play in them for my students also may contribute to my deep love for working with undergraduate music education majors as they transition from students to teachers. Within this overarching transition lies the transition for the first-year music education students in this study from high school to college, in which they become preservice music teachers. Upon beginning graduate school, I dove into music teacher identity and socialization literature, particularly those studies that addressed the teacher-performer role stress that many undergraduate music education majors experience. While developing familiarity with this literature was cathartic in many ways, life and teaching experience have shown me that there are additional, important factors and aspects of the self to consider in this line of research than simply musician-performer or teacher. The present study allowed me to “zoom in” on a very specific moment that occurs for preservice music teachers as they transition into the music teacher education program and consider their observations and experiences in relation to their teacher identities, defined more holistically than in previous research. In the fall of 2016, I conducted a study similar in purpose to this dissertation study, with the exception of my role as the graduate assistant rather than the teacher of the course. The findings from that study affirmed this research trajectory, and I was thrilled to learn more about this relatively unexamined aspect of music teacher education and how it contributes to helping preservice music teachers transition from students to teachers. 51 CHAPTER 4: PARTICIPANT PROFILES AND OBSERVATION SITE DESCRIPTIONS Each of the 19 students in MUE 101 provided consent and acted as a participant in this study, contributing to class discussions and activities during the pre- and post- observation class meeting. However, I selected seven to serve as primary participants. Several factors guided the selection of primary participants, including my hopes of achieving diversity, as discussed in Chapter 3. This chapter consists of profiles of each of the primary participants as well as descriptions of the observation sites. To protect the anonymity of those involved in this study, I have used pseudonyms for the participants, the teachers and their students, locations, and any persons identified by the participants. Katie was 18. Her hair, brown with a hint of auburn, fell just to her shoulders, and the freckles on her face paired with her smile to radiate a genuine sweetness. Katie was born and raised in a suburban area with a population of approximately 50,000 about twenty minutes from the largest city in her state. She was aware of sociocultural factors and dialogues uncharacteristic of her peers with similar backgrounds, and she spoke articulately and sensitively about having come from a region she described as predominately white. From as early as she could remember, Katie loved and experienced music. Growing up, music has always been a part of my family. My mom was in theater and my dad sang in his high school choir, so I have been blessed to say that music has always been a part of my life. I remember as a child my dad singing simple songs that I would sing back to him, and I remember dancing on the kitchen floor, sliding around in socks jamming out to Michael Jackson, Queen, and Aerosmith, because Katie 52 those were the classics that my dad had sworn his life by. I had always known that I loved music from an early age, and that it was something that made SENSE to me. (Katie, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) This love continued into elementary school both in and outside of school, as she began piano lessons, participated in a choir at her church, and “sang in every school talent show there was” (Katie, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). In third grade, Katie auditioned and was selected for an area children’s choir that sparked her thoughts of becoming a music teacher. As I got older I realized performing and singing made me happy, and so in 3rd grade I auditioned for the Children's Choir, which was 4th-8th grade, and I was in it all 5 of those years. We sang classical as well as contemporary/Motown/Broadway music and did choreography to match as well as wore costumes! Haha, it was a blast and I think that, as a natural leader when I was in 8th grade, helping kids who were younger and scared to find their voices was why I started to think about teaching. (Katie, Text message correspondence, April 25, 2018) Katie identified one of the assistant directors of the children’s choir as a strong influence in her musical journey and the choice of music education as her future profession. That director had written me a note that said, (I still own the letter to this day; yes it was 3rd grade) “I hope you know that music will always be a part of you. Never give up on yourself, or your abilities, because if you foster the musician mindset, you can do anything you set your mind to.” It was this director that truly got me thinking, “What if I went into music, and what if I really DID try and enter this field?” (Katie, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) 53 These thoughts echoed through Katie’s mind throughout middle and high school, during which time she discovered in herself a sense of leadership that complemented her love of music and singing. At the urging of her mother, who had played the clarinet during middle school, Katie joined the middle school band and began learning the clarinet. She attributes her comfort with the rhythmic aspects of music to this experience, as well as having learned what it means to be a leader in a classroom setting. She became a section leader: “I LOVED this. Helping people to learn their parts and to work in sectionals with my group and help guide was what I loved most about middle school band, especially my peers” (Katie, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). This leadership ability—and Katie’s confidence in it—continued to blossom during her high school years but through choral ensembles and singing, which is where she realized her “passion for teaching music, and not just doing music” (Katie, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). In my junior year of high school I was elected as a choir officer and a student director of our concert choir. My senior year was one of the best of my life. I had the opportunity to teach High School Freshman almost completely on my own, direct them on concerts, lead them in sectionals, and show them different and new ways to warm up and get their desired sound. What I truly loved about this experience was the flexibility and creativity you can have in a classroom… Teaching a choir for a year, seeing their growth, and seeing how inspired they were by the music they were creating is enough of a reason in itself to become a music educator. I personally believe that what fuels my desire to teach is my love for music, and my love for bringing other people the joys of music and celebrating in the recognition of progress in the learning process. Music to me is what fueled my life, what I loved, 54 and what calmed me in some of the hardest parts of my life, and to share that with other people by using a natural ability of leadership is truly a remarkable thing. (Katie, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) Katie entered her first year as an undergraduate music education major with a strong sense of self and of areas in which she wanted to grow or improve, each of which she related to teaching: time management, confidence, and communication skills. Beyond connecting these characteristics to the role of a teacher, Katie already envisioned herself as a teacher. I think that in my identity I not only see a musician, but a teacher. I believe that the gifts of music should be shared, and that to share it is a beautiful skill and gift to have. I hope that in taking this class that I learn how to be confident, strong, independent, and brave enough to stand in front of a classroom of kids and let them see my entire heart, and how much I want for them to love music and use it to their creative advantage. (Katie, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) Shane was 18 years old. At 6 feet 7 inches tall, he towered over his peers when he stood, and his long limbs made the college desks look child-sized. He had bright eyes and a chuckle he would share easily, but he took time opening himself up to others, despite being comfortable with himself and the experiences that led him to become a music education major. Shane remembered experiences with music beginning in the first or second grade. My mom had signed me up for piano lessons around 1st or 2nd grade. As the little kid I was, I did not greet this newfound responsibility with much liking. Every Thursday after school I would mope and get angry over the fact that I had to spend an hour every day at a piano with some lady I didn’t like. It wasn’t until I discovered Shane 55 the guitar that I really found an interest in music. I started playing it around 3rd grade. What drew me to it was that I thought it was super cool. I thought by playing the guitar I could be as awesome as the guys in Motley Crue and Twisted Sister (as they were my favorite bands back then). (Shane, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) Shane switched from piano to guitar lessons but, while he found enjoyment playing the guitar, he felt his “musical experience was lacking something.” (Shane, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) Following with the theme of “Rock and Roll” superstar, I wanted to start a band. After I talked with some friends and made some plans, the TOPLS were born. We soon became the stars of Morrison Elementary school, playing at big venues like the Cub Scout blue and gold banquet and the school talent show. With all sarcasm aside, we were actually a pretty successful group for a bunch of elementary schoolers. We wrote our own songs and played at a lot of cool gigs and even released our own “album” which remained unfinished because we decided we wanted to play outside on the neighbors’ bouncy house before they had to take it down. (Shane, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) As he moved onto middle school, the TOPLS eventually broke up, and Shane took “the single biggest step in [his] musical life” (Shane, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017); he started playing the tuba. He began middle school band “gung ho about the tuba” (Shane, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) and later acknowledged the influence of his band teacher, also a tuba player, in setting him up for success on the instrument. 56 Shane highlighted several formative experiences in his musical development—both formal and informal—during high school, beginning with joining the marching band. This greatly increased my playing and introduced me to what good players sounded like. Up until high school I was the only tuba player I had ever known, aside from my middle school director. I was able to learn a lot from my friends in the section because of this. (Shane, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) The next year Shane met a young man with whom he started a punk rock band, Highrise, which rose to popularity in his area’s local music scene and developed a large fan base. Shane had picked up the bass guitar, which he played in Highrise and the school’s jazz band. He credits jazz band with having improved his bass playing and providing him a “fairly decent understanding of jazz” (Shane, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). During his senior year, Shane became the low brass captain of his school’s marching band, won the principal tuba position in the All-State Orchestra, and joined a chamber music ensemble that rehearsed and performed with members of the state’s largest symphony orchestra. He considers these honors to be “some of the biggest accomplishments in [his] musical career” (Shane, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). In addition to these achievements, Shane, with a few friends, started a Louisiana-style bass brand that performed at various local venues. Another of Shane’s friends invited him to play the electric bass in a band as a part of her senior project, for which she wrote and produced an entire album. Though music occupied a great deal of his time and focus, Shane also had passions and commitments outside of music. He earned the rank of Eagle Scout, the highest advancement ranking within the Boy Scouts of America organization, during high school. 57 With regard to choosing music education as his future profession, Shane considered his other strengths and interests. One thing I have always loved as much as music is philosophy. I love to think deeply about a lot of things and find out the inner concepts of broad, everyday things. I chose to go into music because I love it and I am good at it, though I would often find myself thinking, “I wish there was something I could use my philosophical skills for.” … I am good at thought (or maybe I’m good at thinking I am, who knows), and I struggled for a long time to find somewhere that I could apply that skill. It finally came to me that teaching is perfect for this very skill. I can use my thoughts to understand how to better connect with the class and how to influence the children in a positive way while still teaching them everything that they need to know. (Shane, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) The wealth of experiences Shane had playing the tuba, guitar, and electric bass— formally, informally, and in several different contexts and styles—shaped his views on musicianship. All of these things contributed to my musical ability in some way or another, which sounds weird because I have orchestras and Punk bands together and treated as equals. As a person who has lived both ends of the spectrum his whole life, I would like to say that they both give musical experience and both contribute to your development as a musician. Many people will disagree with that statement but I believe it to be true because of personal experience. (Shane, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) 58 Moreover, Shane connected his multifaceted musicianship, a result of these diverse musical experiences, to his beliefs about the value of music and his goals as a future music educator. I was told by the head of Music Education faculty at Ridgeway University that “it's good for educators to be in rock bands. We often find that a Punk rocker can more easily connect with children than say, a classical saxophonist” (Not to rip on sax players or anything, that's just what she said). One thing that I have learned by doing all these music related things throughout my life is that music is a crucial part of life and it's everywhere and in all of us. I wish to be a music teacher to show kids the greatness that music has to offer. (Shane, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) When he envisioned the relationships that he would have with students as a teacher, Shane considered his middle school teacher and other influential teachers throughout his educational experiences. I wish to have great bonds with kids like I have had with my past band directors, especially my middle school one. Mr. Davis was an amazing teacher and really set everyone up for success, musically and just in general. He taught me what a great band director should be and has really set a model for me to refer back to when I think of good teachers. Looking back, all my favorite teachers left me with things that will help me later in life and help me develop as a person, not just as a student. I think that's very important for a teacher to do. (Shane, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) 59 Sasha Shane began his undergraduate career expressing a confidence in his decision to become a music educator but, internally, navigating concerns about what implications the profession may have on his life outside of work. Despite this, he felt he had qualities and experiences that would make him suitable teacher. With all my experience as a musician in a classical setting as well as contemporary setting, my experience as a leader in marching band and Boy Scouts, and my experience with thought and all the things I’ve seen and done, I find that I am going to love teaching and be well prepared for it. (Shane, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) Sasha was 18. When asked to describe herself, Sasha laughed and said, “Assertive. You can say assertive” (Sasha, Group Interview, April 22, 2018). Her larger-than-life personality filled every room she entered but never stifled the presence of others. She carried herself unapologetically, with blunt-cut blonde hair that fell halfway between her ears and shoulders. Born and raised about an hour from the university in a city of approximately 50,000, Sasha remembered enjoying music from a young age. “My first memories as a child were watching The Wizard of Oz on repeat until it was bed time. My family said they always knew that I would do something musical with my life, and they were right” (Sasha, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). Sasha’s mother, a high school math teacher and “fantastic pianist” (Sasha, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017), played piano into Sasha’s childhood but eventually stopped due to complications from multiple sclerosis. Her father played violin and tenor saxophone but not beyond high school. Sasha’s younger sister, however, was an excellent 60 cellist, whom she lightheartedly described as a diva. “I keep telling her nobody will want to work with her if she’s mean” (Sasha, Group Interview, April 22, 2018). In addition to music, Sasha loved school—a passion she shared with her mother. [My mom] loves to teach the, like…not your typical AP student. She would bring home old math books, and I would invite my friends over. Then I’d go, “Alright, choir time!” There’re pictures of me at eight years old [laughs] conducting my friends in the backyard. … If I didn’t have school, I would go to her school just to sit in class. (Sasha, Group Interview, April 22, 2018) On the first day of MUE 101, Sasha introduced herself as a dramatic soprano, with a confidence in her instrument that developed only after several years of singing. She began singing in the third grade after auditioning for the extracurricular choir at her school. I remember sitting in my general elementary music class when my music teacher came up and asked, “Why are you covering your mouth when you sing? You have such a beautiful voice!” It would have only been a few weeks later that she gave me a form to audition for the 3rd-5th grade after school choir. I was so excited. I went home and told my mom that I had to join this choir. To my surprise, I made it into that choir, and I was the only person in my grade to be in it for all three years. Every single year I auditioned for a solo in this choir, and I never got one. At this point in my life I knew that I loved to sing, but maybe it just wasn’t something that I was good at. When sixth grade music placements came around I was sure that I wouldn’t be doing choir anymore. (Sasha, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2018) Sasha then signed up for band after having taken two weeks of flute lessons but, two days before the start of sixth grade, remembered how much she loved to sing and joined the 61 chorus. Throughout middle school, she discovered a deep passion for chorus far beyond the social connections she and her peers valued about their experiences in the choral program, and she began to develop confidence in her voice. I finally got the courage to sing out in choir. I always told people that I didn’t want to be like the bad people on American Idol that are told by their families that they were good, and in the end completely make a fool of themselves. There was an 8th grade graduation opportunity in my last year of middle school choir. I loved the piece so much, but I had refused to audition for solos since I had never gotten one. The night before the audition I asked my parents if they could listen to me sing through the solo, as this was the first time they would hear me sing. Needless to say they were completely shocked. I auditioned for my first solo in four years and got it. (Sasha, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) The solo performance opportunities that resulted from her involvement in chorus proved to be a crucial part of Sasha’s high school experience and the catalyst for her decision to pursue music in college, starting with an improvised jazz solo at a statewide jazz festival. After receiving an unexpected standing ovation, Sasha dove deeper into solo performance. I did Solo and Ensemble from my sophomore year until my senior year. One of the most crucial events was my sophomore year regional Solo and Ensemble performance. My judge was so surprised that this was my first time performing solo selections. The most remarkable part of this experience was the feeling I got when I left the room. As soon as I walked out of the room, I knew that there was nothing in my life that I could do that would make me feel the way I did when I was 62 performing. In that moment I decided that I need to major in music. (Sasha, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) In the summer before her junior year, Sasha took the initiative to find a private voice teacher with whom she could study at a local community college and “found a voice [she] didn’t even know [she] had” (Sasha, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). She received a perfect score at the regional Solo and Ensemble Festival the following year, which led her choral director to sign her up for a statewide solo vocal festival. Despite having performed the sight-reading excerpt perfectly, Sasha felt her performance would not qualify her to place among the top vocalists in the state. However, she was selected as one of the top twelve high school singers in the state, which affirmed her decision to major in music. Though she knew she would pursue a music degree in college, Sasha eventually learned that vocal performance and music education degrees were both possibilities. She explained her decision to major in music education: I know to this day that my voice is made for solo singing, I have always been told that because I am a Dramatic Soprano I don't belong in a choir, but I knew Vocal Performance wasn’t for me. What really confirmed my decision to major in Education was my genuine love for helping people. Although, another large factor was that my five to ten-year plan involved a family, and performing isn’t really conducive to that lifestyle. (Sasha, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) Upon entering college, Sasha began to envision the context in which she might teach and articulated her beliefs about music education. Recently I have made my music plan a little more specific. I would like to work at any age level, but mostly high school. I want to provide an atmosphere that is open 63 year music education major: to students with big voices and finds a way to work to enhance them, because that is something that is not done frequently enough. The final goal I have as a music educator is to provide as many experiences, in both ensembles and lessons, to get people involved no matter the economic situation, because music is for everyone, and everyone should have an equal opportunity to find their best self. (Sasha, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) Sasha reflected on her journey from an embarrassed third-grade singer to a first- I cannot say that all of my musical experiences were the best, but for some reason they were never bad enough to turn me away. Looking back on my musical background, it is fair to say that I had many opportunities to back out, but because I waited I think I found just where I belong. (Sasha, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) Marcellus was 19 years old. He carried himself with a balance of perfect posture and relaxation, which made him look like he was gliding when he walked. His brown eyes were engaging, just as he was constantly aware of what was going on around him. The youngest of 12, he grew up with his mother and siblings in one of the largest urban areas of the state in which he was born. Marcellus was a thoughtful observer in large-group class settings but, when he contributed to discussions, his words were calm, impactful, and provided valuable insight. He remembered having a passion for music from a young age. From the earliest time that I can remember I have been in love with music. As a boy, I would pretend that my room was a stadium that could fit thousands of people and Marcellus 64 I would sing my heart out. Performing in my room became one of my favorite hobbies that I never grew tired of. (Marcellus, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) During discussions of identity and socialization in the early weeks of MUE 101, he spoke of “code-switching” and modeled the way in which he might speak differently to a Black friend than he would to a White peer. This familiarity with both the concept and practice of code-switching suggested that he had experience navigating his race in white-dominated spaces. Marcellus attended a public elementary school, a charter middle school, and then a public high school, where he had his first formal music experiences and met one of the most important persons in his life. That very first day of high school, I met the most vicious and imprudent music teacher that I had ever come across who soon came to be like a second mother to me. Dr. Cook has not only been my teacher but my friend, mother, and one of my biggest inspirations in life. She was always hard on me and over time I realized it was because she saw something more in me. She believed in me and my dream which is something I had never come across. (Marcellus, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) He grew up listening to gospel music and R&B, but Marcellus credits Dr. Cook with teaching him everything he knows about music, including “theory, harmony, piano, composition, and singing” (Marcellus, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). Moreover, she provided the support he lacked from his family. 65 Within my family, pursuing music was considered a “waste of time.” They believed that the only way I could make a living is going into something that would “guarantee” me a job out of college. All throughout high school, neither my mom nor any of my siblings came to solo and ensembles, Christmas concerts, spring concerts, or even the play I was featured in. Dr. Cook was always there to help me pay for tuxes, give me bus fare, or pick me up for performances, which made me even more anxious and excited about music. (Marcellus, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2018) While music began as a passion he explored in the confines of his childhood room, its role in Marcellus’s life grew through his involvement in the choral program. In many ways music has saved my life, almost literally. When I first got to high school I suffered from major depression and an anxiety disorder. It caused me to develop anorexia and many other health problems. Music was the one thing that helped me fill that otherwise empty void in my life. I had found someone who believed in me and I met and made lifelong friendships with people who were in choir. I had even met my first boyfriend through choir. Being in choir helped me to find myself and really embrace many parts of my identity that I had locked away. Music allowed me to find balance within and it has broken me out of my shell. (Marcellus, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) Despite music’s influence in his life, Marcellus initially pursued a degree in Math Education following high school. He had originally planned to attend an Historically Black College and University in the southeastern United States but, when that fell through, he made the decision to accept the substantial scholarships he was offered to attend this 66 university. By the time he committed to attend, auditions for the university’s music program had passed. Because “math had always been something big in [his] background” (Marcellus, Group Interview, April 22, 2018), he decided to major in mathematics education. I’ve always had a sort of “natural” talent for doing math but I never really liked doing it. I’ve been a math tutor since I was in 6th grade and over time I realized that the fulfillingness of actually teaching is what drives me to keep tutoring in math. I live for the days where I'm teaching something really difficult and my students look at me with a big smile and bright eyes because they finally understand it. It is not just a job, it is a thrill ride. (Marcellus, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) The program for which Marcellus served as a tutor, Math Brigade, was a mathematics enrichment and mentoring program in the city where he lived that received national acclaim for its work with public school students in the surrounding area. He began as a participant during the summer before the sixth grade, quickly became a tutor and assistant the next summer, and continued to tutor every summer through high school. At the time of this study, he was scheduled to advance into a larger instructional and leadership role in the following summer. Prior to starting college, Marcellus struggled internally as to whether he could “be happy just performing or teaching music” (Marcellus, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) but, even though he had chosen to major in mathematics education, he joined the university’s all-male glee club to continue singing. One comment from Dr. Ryan, the ensemble’s conductor, started Marcellus’s collegiate journey to becoming a music educator. 67 [Dr. Ryan] had come back when one of the student conductors was doing their thing, and after class—because he was right next to me when I was singing—he said, “You have a great voice!” I was like, “Oh, thank you!” It made me think about it, and I thought about it—literally this voice in my head—nonstop. And I thought, “You know what, I have to audition. I have to do the thing, whatever it takes…because, in my opinion, I knew I wanted to teach. What I would be teaching would just be the car. I know I’m going to be driving, it’s just a matter of what’s the vehicle. And I feel like I’m in a BMW right now. (Marcellus, Group Interview, April 22, 2018) Beyond the influences of Dr. Cook, Dr. Ryan, and the teaching experience he gained through Math Brigade, Marcellus had even deeper reasons for choosing to become an educator. Another, unspoken reason that being an educator is important to me is that I am a firm believer that representation matters. I say unspoken because as a child I had always wished to have someone I knew personally to look up to, which I thought was embarrassing. My father has never been in my life and I had always yearned to have a strong figure who could be like a dad to me. Throughout my entire schooling life I have never experienced a class with a black male teacher. There was a point where I even thought that only women could be teachers. I want to be an inspiration to young black men to understand that their dreams can come true and they can make it anywhere in life. (Marcellus, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) Marcellus’s hopes for his role in the lives of his future students provided a constant source of motivation. 68 Rebecca I want to stop the false narrative that pursuing music always has to be a shot in the dark, and I want my students to know that their ambitions are valid and their dreams are attainable. It has become one of my biggest dreams to not only be an educator, but to be a music educator. (Marcellus, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) Rebecca was 18 years old. She carried her 5’11’’ frame inconspicuously, often wearing jeans and a hoodie, with her light brown hair pulled back from her face. During classes, she could seamlessly switch from a quiet, reflective participant to a natural leader in any small-group activity. She was born and raised in the suburbs outside of a large city with a population of approximately 2.7 million and attended the university as an out-of- state student. For Rebecca, music and family were intertwined early in her life. Growing up, I was always surrounded by music. My dad minored in music and was a phenomenal musician. My mom tried her best, but had no musical capabilities at all. Yet she had a special place in her heart for music. I have three sisters. No brothers. All girls. My oldest sister, Jenny, played alto saxophone but quit band after about a year. My other older sister, Stephanie, played flute but quit after two years. My younger sister, Nicole, started on alto saxophone but switched to tenor sax after two years and still plays it today. All three of my sisters are extremely talented singers, and all four of us started playing piano when we were five years old. Being surrounded by music at such a young age, I really can’t remember a moment where there wasn’t some form of music in the background. (Rebecca, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) 69 Whether it was Christian radio, traditional Irish music, or some “stupid song [her] dad made up on the spot” (Rebecca, Follow-up Interview, April 20, 2018), there was always music in Rebecca’s household. In addition to these early experiences with music, Rebecca identified Irish dancing and informal music making as strong influences in her upbringing. “My parents decided they wanted [my sisters and me] to do Irish dance because it’s a huge part of our heritage” (Rebecca, Follow-up Interview, April 20, 2018); she subsequently described memories of her family dancing around the house while listening to Irish jigs. Rebecca learned Irish dancing for a few years, starting at age 3, but when her older sisters decided they wanted to play soccer instead, her parents made the decision for all of them to stop learning Irish dance. With her typical sweet smile and positive outlook, Rebecca joked sarcastically, “I’m not bitter about it” (Rebecca, Follow-up Interview, April 20, 2018). One of the MUE 101 assignments, a four-minute teaching demonstration, allowed Rebecca an opportunity to share her love and skill for Irish dance with the class. When she stood tall at the front of the room (both figuratively and literally at 5’11’’) and deftly led us through a standard pattern of steps with ease and charm, the unassuming Rebecca from class revealed a new side of herself to her peers. Rebecca’s primary instrument of study at the university was the clarinet, which she began playing in the fourth grade. I have no idea why I picked [the clarinet], other than it was different from my sisters. I really wanted to play trumpet like my dad, but I couldn’t get a sound out of it when I tried. I really enjoyed playing. I went to a small parochial school from pre- kindergarten through eighth grade. As you can probably imagine, our band program 70 was not very great. We had a small band and an even smaller amount of repertoire to choose from. By the time I got to high school, I was completely in love with music. Since the band program at my small little Lutheran school was so small, high school band was a bit of a change for me. I felt like I belonged in this huge community and that music was a part of me. As a freshman, I was scared to socialize or talk to people but going to band always made me feel better and like I belonged. (Rebecca, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) The transition to a larger, public high school marked the beginning of a new phase of Rebecca’s life both socially and with regard to her trajectory in music. She attended football games solely to watch the halftime shows and, though freshmen were not allowed to participate in the marching band, found connection and inspiration as a member of the basketball pep band. By her sophomore year, Rebecca felt as though music was “a part of her” (Rebecca, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) and believed that participating in marching band was one of the best things that had ever happened to her. I got a little more social and more comfortable being around people. When I was in second grade I was diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder and some behavioral issues. It had always been really difficult for me to make friends and talk to people. But being in band pushed me and helped me be more open to talking and making friends. I decided to go out for drum major at the end of my sophomore year. (Rebecca, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) Despite a scheduling conflict due to her concurrent involvement in marching band and both junior varsity and varsity water polo, Rebecca auditioned to become her band’s drum major, and she remembers the audition experience vividly: 71 Imagine that feeling you get when you do something you love so much. Your stomach drops but in a good way. Your heart does that thing where it beats abnormally and makes your chest feel all warm and fuzzy. I felt like that, until my director said, “So are you ready?” I froze. My heart started pounding, my face got hot, my palms were incredibly sweaty, my stomach was in my throat, and my head was spinning. Maybe I wasn’t ready for this kind of responsibility. I mean who chooses a kid with one year of marching experience to lead their band? Let alone one with extreme anxiety and depression and really awkward social habits. But I took a deep breath, wiped my hands on my skirt and took a seat. (Rebecca, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) Rebecca’s band directors selected her as the drum major, a position that she held for her junior and senior years. The latter half of Rebecca’s high school experience further fueled her passion for music and greatly influenced her decision to become a music educator. In addition to serving as drum major, Rebecca served as an intern for the freshman ensemble during her senior year and was selected to participate in an event for high school students considering a career in music education. Being [an intern for the freshman ensemble] gave me a huge look into the life of a band director. Being able to play with the band in several sections, plan out warm- ups, help with director responsibilities, and at the end of the year, have my own piece to teach and conduct at the last band concert of the year, was an incredible experience. … By this point, you can probably guess I was dead set on becoming a band director. I mean it’s what I always wanted and my whole high school career 72 Leon was directing me on that path. Being accepted as a student participant for Future Music Educators Seminar was incredible. It did great things for my confidence and really gave me that final push I needed for this career I had my sights set on. Attending the classes and presentations really made me feel like I had chosen the right path. (Rebecca, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) Rebecca expressed never having felt a greater sense of belonging than at this event, held at her state’s annual music education conference, and wrote, “I don’t think I could change my career choice if I tried” (Rebecca, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). Leon was 18 years old, but he carried himself and spoke with a wisdom far beyond his years. He had a warm, genuine smile that seemed to put all those who received it at ease. Music was a part of Leon’s life from a young age, both at home and within his church. My journey begins as the son of a preacher and missionary. My mornings always started off with the silky quality of jazz gliding through every nook and crack of the house. As a child watching my father play the saxophone I was enamored by the reflective bronze quality and melodic scales. Then there was the excitement and anticipation of a Sunday morning service. The sound that roared from the four walls were enormous and transformative. Organs, drums, bass, guitar, piano, tambourine, and a choir of the most talented singers anywhere all joined together as one symphony as they played and sang hymns to heaven. Surrounded by this activity, there is no question why I began to sing and play drums in church at the age of five. These are my musical roots that will forever be imprinted on my heart. (Leon, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) 73 Leon spent the first seven years of his life growing up in a large, racially diverse city of approximately 100,000 people. Just prior to starting the second grade, his family moved to a small city outside of a larger university area, where he recalled being one of about 10 or 15 people of color within the schools he attended—a mix of charter, public, and private schools. Around this same time, Leon’s father retired from his corporate job to pursue ministry full time. It was [then] my father and mother were called to do work in Nigeria for the first time. Even though we stayed with friends, their first extended trip was the most difficult for me and my three other siblings. Moreover, when they returned there were many exchanges of gifts and African assortments, but the most impactful and enduring gift they carried wasn’t an object, but a sound. It was the sound of Africa. Hearing the deeply spiritual and jubilant songs of my people, my ancestors, shook me to the core (I can still feel those vibrations to this day). (Leon, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) Leon’s parents continued to do missionary work in Jamaica, Venezuela, Croatia, and Israel throughout his childhood, consistently bringing “back the music, sound, and culture of that country” (Leon, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). He attributed his exposure to these elements with having shaped him into a “compassionate, creative, intuitive, and culturally aware young man” (Leon, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). In addition to singing and learning the drums at church, Leon began learning the piano at home: “Actually, what happened was my dad had this little keyboard and he would be like, ‘If you want to learn how to play a song, Leon, listen to it and just plunk it out and pick up the melody.’ So, he showed me that once, and I just took off with it” (Leon, Group 74 Interview, April 22, 2018). At age eleven, Leon received the opportunity to sing with his church choir at a nation-wide prayer gathering held at a large stadium that housed his state’s professional football team. I was so excited but I learned that I had to be a teenager to be able to sing. Being the kind of person I am, I would not allow my age to act as a barrier between me and this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. A few days before the event I went to my parents and pleaded with them to allow me to sing, and after much deliberation I was given permission. As we arrived at the stadium, I remember being filled with absolute terror. Terror so strong I was sick to my stomach. Yet, in the midst of the fear I had a sense that I needed to be a part of that moment. Then the choir director asked me if I wanted to do a solo in one of our songs. The question shook me so much that I didn't even respond. Rather, while we were on stage singing the song, she looked at me as if expecting an answer. It was then that I decided to take the risk and sing the solo. Little did I know it would become one of the most impactful experiences of my life. Although it was only a few seconds in the vast spotlight the fleeting moment seemed like an eternity. I realized that I had been given a short glimpse into my future and the path of my destiny. (Leon, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) The main gospel singer of the event approached Leon afterward and simply said, “Record deal” (Leon, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). The next formative experience within his church’s music ministry came in the seventh grade, when Leon took over for the main pianist, who had to step down for health reasons. 75 From the fourth grade until high school, Leon did not have music classes in his schools. He quickly found his place in the choral music program at the local public school upon entering as a freshman, which marked his first experiences with western musical notation. My director exposed me to sheet music and classical arts. I still remember my state of confusion as she handed me sheet music for the first time. The only thing going through my mind was the illogical expectation that I would know my pitch based off of a few black dots. That question didn’t last long. In a weird twist of fate, my next door neighbor was the school's pianist and owned a voice and piano studio out of her house. I studied with her for four years and she soon became one of my closest musical mentors and a cherished family friend. (Leon, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) As he continued to grow in this formal music environment, Leon began participating in solo and ensemble vocal festivals, and he eventually competed in a larger statewide solo vocal competition in his junior and senior years of high school. Both years he was selected as one of the top twelve vocalists in the state. By the start of his undergraduate degree, Leon had received two recording contract inquiries, sung on two internationally marketed albums, and performed at some of the most well-known venues in his state; however, Leon considered his acceptance to two collegiate music programs to be among his most rewarding accomplishments. He explained his decision to attend this university, a traditional music program, over his other option, a program focused more on contemporary commercial music: 76 I knew I wanted to go into music, and it was really in high school when I started to develop any desire to do classical music. … The finances were nice [pauses to smile], and I knew that I was the least strong in classical music, and I knew that I wouldn’t be the best out front, but I thought that it was an area that I could really improve on really quick and get good at, so I decided to just go with it. (Leon, Group Interview, April 22, 2018) Leon believed that, given both his mindset of service and his musical gifts, music education was the “natural step after high school” (Leon, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). As he began his undergraduate career, Leon acknowledged both the contributions of his prior experiences and what was yet to come. My journey, thus far, has been comprised of lessons of the broadness of music, the individuality and unity that dwells in cultural identity, and compassion towards my fellow man. I cannot have written my life out better nor do I wish to change any moment. The story of my life is still in the developing phase, and I am the author. (Leon, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) Tobias Tobias was 18 years old. His dark brown hair contrasted his fair skin, and he always took care putting himself together each morning, regardless of what the day held. From birth to age 9, he lived in a small city of approximately 30,000 people. He then moved roughly 30 minutes east to the suburbs outside of a large university area. Tobias reflected on his pathway to becoming a music education major: My musical story doesn’t reach as far back as some may. Nowadays there are classes new parents can take their newborns to in order to introduce them to music, or 77 some of the older youth can recall taking piano or violin lessons ever since they turned ten. The contrast between my musical journey leading to today and that of the stereotypical devoted musician is sharp. (Tobias, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) His awareness of the differences between his and others’ musical experiences began when he started the fourth grade in a new school system, as he became aware that many of his peers had participated in chorus since the first grade. Not having grown up in a home rich in music or music making, Tobias’ first experiences with formal music education began in fourth grade as he and his classmates learned to play recorder. He remembered feeling motivated by a colored belt reward system, similar to those earned in karate, and identified the relationship between practice, incentive, and motivation at that time in his development. At this point in my life it did begin to push out a desire to want to succeed musically. The feeling of breaking the barriers in fourth grade was a strong motivation to get myself and many other students to practice and get the basic music skills in mind while not even knowing it because we were too obsessed with the idea of the small pieces of colored string to tie around our recorders. (Tobias, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) At Tobias’s elementary school, students were required to participate in either band, chorus, or orchestra starting in the fifth grade, “regardless of [their] musical talent and regardless of whether or not there was an interest in any of these three musical paths” (Tobias, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). Though Tobias’s primary instrument as 78 a music education major was voice, this fifth-grade decision marked the beginning of his experience in instrumental ensembles. In reference to my musical path, things begin moving significantly when I thought I wanted to play violin. I was excited about the idea of having my own instrument to make my own sound as a ‘professional’ of sorts. This route seemed like a no brainer to me. At the beginning of fifth grade, however, as I walked down to the orchestra room I made the impulsive decision to turn left, walk through the band doors and sign out a trombone. … I always liked to think that I was doing more than well with my trombone practice and enjoyed the time I spent learning new material and attending performances as a group. After my first year of being introduced to the band atmosphere and the trombone, I once again switched what I wanted to be playing and began learning how to practice the tuba within my same band. (Tobias, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) Tobias played the tuba through middle school and into high school, and he appreciated the increased level of difficulty with regard to both repertoire and performance expectations that came with high school band. He was motivated again in the context of these experiences. An important detail about the ensembles at this point is that starting at seventh grade, nobody was required to be in band, orchestra or choir anymore. …The students who were present wanted to be there for the most part which contributes to why there was a higher standard that was imposed upon us by my high school band director. (Tobias, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) 79 As he began to identify the happiness he felt being involved in band and the band community, Tobias also began to “understand the different outlets that might make [him] happy” (Tobias, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). “At no point prior to a year and a half would I have ever considered or referred to myself as a singer or vocalist” (Tobias, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). Tobias auditioned for his school’s extracurricular show choir as a junior, a decision he described as “drastic,” given that he tended to be reserved; moreover, performing Amy Winehouse’s “Back to Black” as his vocal audition for the choral director was the first time he sang in front of anyone. As a first-year member of the show choir, Tobias was “very much in a shell” (Tobias, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) with regard to vocal performance, but he enjoyed being a part of the group and tried to learn from his more experienced peers. After the choral director’s recommendation that he join Chamber Choir for the following year, Tobias chose to leave band for choir. He elaborated, “I quickly spoke with my band director and let him know that although the tuba wasn’t my fit, I enjoyed the study and music and performance but needed to find out how I wanted to make my sound” (Tobias, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). The decision to participate in both the show choir and Chamber Choir ultimately changed Tobias’s career path. Though he applied to college during the fall of his senior year and was accepted as a business major, which he believed a wise long-term path, several conversations with his choral director helped Tobias realize that “singing and study could be more than an extracurricular like show choir and more than an elective like choral ensembles” (Tobias, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). He had never studied voice (or any instrument) privately, but Tobias’s choral director helped him prepare the required 80 three pieces for the audition. “After a month of hectic preparation” (Tobias, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017), Tobias auditioned and ultimately received a music merit scholarship, despite having “little to no understanding as to what made a successful or positive audition” (Tobias, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017). Tobias was thrilled and surprised to be awarded the scholarship based upon his audition and began his journey as an undergraduate music education major. With the relationships I’ve developed with my own educators and the students I’ve been side by side with, sometimes as a learner other times as a teacher/leader, I have come to realize how important it is to me to make relationships that I’ll have a top priority on my list. In my personal mindset of what I believe is important I will go into my future as an educator with full intent to focus on the one-on-one basis that allows for students to achieve the best learning experience that they can during my time with them and allow for them to be educated in more ways than just one. (Tobias, Personal Narrative, September 22, 2017) These seven primary participants had each begun their first year in the music education program. Bringing their own lenses to MUE 101, they represented diverse educational and musical backgrounds, as well as different sexual orientations, races, genders, and classes. Katie, Sasha, Marcellus, Leon, and Tobias each studied voice as their primary instrument and observed the fifth- and sixth-grade general music class at Martindale School. Davidson Primary School hosted an observation group comprised of instrumentalists Rebecca, clarinet, and Shane, tuba. Each of the participants approached 81 Summary Davidson Primary School Description of Observation Sites the initial field observation with varied expectations, bringing a wealth of prior experiences to help them make meaning of what they noticed. Two groups of participants completed a field observation, each at a different area public school. Primary participants Rebecca and Shane, along with secondary participants Sarah and Chris, observed a kindergarten general music class at Davidson Primary School. Tobias, Leon, Sasha, Marcellus, and Katie visited Martindale School, where they observed a fifth- and sixth-grade general music class. Davidson Primary School is about a 15-minute drive from the university campus in a neighboring county. The school, dedicated to early childhood education, served approximately 250 kindergarten students from its large suburban and rural surroundings. According to the National Center for Education Statistics (2016), the demographics of “race/ethnicity” among the student population were as follows: 3 Asian, 1 Black, 15 Hispanic, 1 Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander, 212 White, and 11 who identified as having two or more races. Davidson Primary School is a Title I school, in which approximately 10% of the student population qualifies for free or reduced-price lunch (https://nces.ed.gov). Ms. Shore. Ms. Shore, Davidson Primary School’s music teacher, was in her seventh year of teaching music at the school. As a graduate of the university herself, Ms. Shore often worked with music education students at various stages in the teacher education program as they observed in her classroom and worked with the kindergarten students. She had taught early childhood classes during her undergraduate career at the university, so she 82 had worked with young children prior to graduating. Ms. Shore recently had completed her master’s degree from the same institution. She is certified in Music Learning Theory, both for early childhood and elementary general music, and she brought her training in Music Learning Theory to her practice as a music educator in the public schools. In addition to her career as an early childhood music educator, Ms. Shore performs and tours with her band, for which she writes songs, sings lead and backup vocals, and plays ukulele, guitar, and keyboard. Setting the stage. On Friday, October 20, 2017, Rebecca, Sarah, Chris, Shane, and I visited Davidson Primary School to observe a kindergarten general music class. I was curious to see how Shane, at 6 feet and 7 inches tall, might handle the substantial height difference between himself and the students by which we would be surrounded. Similarly, I had a suspicion that Rebecca’s height might be something that I would observe her navigate at various points during the class. As we entered the school, signed in, and made our way to the music classroom, we did not pass not one child in any of the hallways; however, the quiet of our walk to music class was over as soon as we opened the door to Ms. Shore’s room. I was not prepared for how tiny this classroom was. I know that Dr. Elias brings entire methods classes to observe, and I can’t imagine how they could possibly line the perimeter of this room, sitting or standing, and leave enough room for the kiddos not to feel surrounded. Despite the energy that came from twenty tiny humans enjoying a variety of musical centers, there was a calm about the room. The side wall to our left, one of two longer sides in the rectangular room, was lined with windows that let an abundance of natural light fill the room—so much that the 83 lights were off and the classroom was still appropriately lit. The peaceful feeling that comes with the outdoors lighting your indoor space was in stark contrast to the land of little ones just below those windows. It was already a tiny bit stuffy, so I was glad to see the fan mounted at the corner of the room. Unlike some classrooms I’ve been in, the teacher wasn’t the least bit overwhelmed with the noise of 20 students engaged in different activities, bouncing around from one to the next at will. Ms. Shore looked up from the student to whom she was talking and gave us the calm, sweet smile I remembered from our summer class. We arrived early, so we caught the tail end of the class before our scheduled observation. My initial observations and quick “hi” to Ms. Shore took less than 10 seconds, and I immediately started observing my observers. The great gender divide was pretty obvious, as Rebecca and Sarah were already kneeling and interacting with students. I love getting to be a part of this moment, watching my students with students. It’s an entirely different perspective than I get in the classroom, and it’s fascinating to watch how some of them come alive in ways I’ve never seen in class. And then there are the deer-in-headlights moments that make me wish I could hear their inner monologue. My two deer were Shane and Chris. They had made their way toward the back of the room, on the side of the room opposite the windows, and both were standing there surveying the territory that lay before them. Shane looked terrified that he might step on one of the kids, who barely made it to the bottom of his knees. His eyes were wide, but he had this closed-mouth smile that I couldn’t read. “Is he smiling at the cuteness or putting on a face to hide some other emotion?” Unclear. 84 I had to fight my teacher instincts hard in those first moments. Two of my students had thrown themselves into things, and the other two were visibly uncomfortable or, at the least, uncertain as to what they should be doing. I wanted to do the Becky thing and help them get engaged with the students or feel more comfortable, but I knew that they would have had to navigate that on their own had I not been there, and they would have to navigate entering various types of classrooms for the years to come. I didn’t want to interject my presence into their observation experience any more than I already had as a participant observer. It wasn’t long before Sarah noticed that Shane and Chris were frozen in place, and she took the initiative to help them interact with some of the students. Chris and one of the kiddos with a little drum bonded over their percussion prowess, and Shane joined Rebecca on the floor as she spoke to two of the students. (Fieldnotes, October 20, 2017). These initial moments in Ms. Shore’s classroom set the stage for the participants’ observation experience at Davidson Primary School. Martindale School is about a 5-minute drive from the university campus, in an urban area near downtown. The school is a middle-years program and magnet school that houses only fourth-, fifth-, and sixth-grade students. Approximately 500 students from the surrounding city attend this public school. According to the National Center for Education Statistics (2016), the demographics of “race/ethnicity” among the student population were as follows: 4 American Indian/Alaska Native, 11 Asian, 180 Black, 125 Hispanic, 135 White, and 51 who identified as having two or more races. Martindale School is a Title I school, in Martindale School 85 which approximately 75% of the student population qualifies for free or reduced-price lunch (https://nces.ed.gov). Mrs. Bessemer. At the time of our observation, Mrs. Bessemer (“Mrs. B”) was in her eleventh year as a music educator and her second year in the position at Martindale School. She earned bachelor’s and master’s degrees in music education from a large, suburban institution in the Southeast. Mrs. B was one of three fourth- through sixth-grade music specialists, who were the only music specialists serving the entire K-6 student population within that school system. Having spent her career teaching in low-income schools, Mrs. B had a passion for equity and social justice in music education, and she welcomed the opportunity to have future music teachers in her classroom. Setting the stage. On Friday, October 27, 2017, Tobias, Katie, Leon, Sasha, Marcellus, and I visited Martindale School to observe a fifth- and sixth-grade general music class. I felt small as I entered the building, and we commented to one another on the large size of the facility, particularly its expansive main entrance, as we made our way to the front office to sign ourselves in. Leon, whose experiences with music during late elementary and middle school occurred outside of a school setting, had no schema for what might happen during our time at Martindale: I tried not to have too much of an expectation going into the classroom. This was intentional so that I could learn as much as possible without any filters on, because of what I may or may not have expected. Walking into the school my observation had already begun. I thought to myself, “Can I see myself walking into a school similar to this every day?” I watched the interactions between the staff and tried to 86 get an overall sense of the atmosphere of the school. (Leon, Observation Reflection, October 31, 2017) Marcellus noted the presence of school rules and expectations posted both in the hallways and in Mrs. B’s classroom, which informed one aspect of what he anticipated observing. When I first walked into the classroom, I noticed all of the wall art that included a variety of music symbols and definitions. I also noticed that there was an emphasis on classroom expectations that were posted throughout the classroom and the halls of the school building. This gave me the notion that these students often need to be reminded of what their teachers and administrators expect from them. This also gave me the impression that I may see behavioral issues from the class that I would be observing. (Marcellus, Observation Reflection, November 5, 2017) We entered the classroom as the previous class was leaving, and we seated ourselves in the chairs Mrs. B had put out for us at the back of the room. I felt like I was in a high school band room but without the instruments and acoustic tiles. With its tile floors and towering ceiling, the room overpowered the rows of chairs for students that were centered toward the front of the room. The spaciousness of the room allowed Mrs. B to walk around the students, between rows, and to teach from multiple spots in the room, which I identified as both a teaching tool and her personal nature. Mrs. B was, admittedly, “a fidgety person” (Mrs. B, Audio Recording, October 27, 2017), and she always felt more comfortable as both a student and teacher if she was moving. During our time in the classroom before students arrived for music class, Mrs. B shared briefly about her position as one of three fourth- through sixth-grade music specialists, who were the only music specialists serving the entire K-6 student population. 87 She provided context for the class that we would observe, which Tobias used to set the stage in his observation reflection. Before the class even began, we discussed with the educator about the dynamic of the classroom, expectations she had, and ideas on how she felt she would need to handle the environment before they were even in her classroom. As a result of [their classroom teacher’s] health leave, the students we would be observing had been with a substitute teacher for about two weeks. The educator saw this as a potential warning that the environment would need some extra care in order to focus on attentive listening and engaged participation amongst the classroom. The concept of focus and order in the classroom is one I’ve always wondered about, because the educator needs it to teach a classroom successfully but also needs to balance comfortable feelings with respect and attentive engagement. (Tobias, Observation Reflection, October 28, 2017) Marcellus recounted this discussion as Mrs. B giving them “some insight about the school dynamic and classroom culture so that [they] would not be surprised” (Marcellus, Observation Reflection, November 5, 2017), which suggests that Mrs. B felt that the participants may have entered her room with expectations that may not match some aspects of what they would observe. Both observation sites provided the participants with an opportunity to observe a music class, taught by an experienced music educator, in the field. While both Davidson Primary School and Martindale School are Title I schools, they serve different geographical settings and, thus, different populations of students. These differences include not only the 88 Summary grades taught at each school but their demographics with regard to race and socioeconomic status. As they entered the field to complete their first observation of a K-12 music classroom as preservice music teachers, the participants brought with them expectations and prior experiences that shaped their observation experience and, in turn, their continually developing teacher identities. 89 CHAPTER 5: OBSERVATIONS AND (UN)EXPECTATIONS Interpretive phenomenology, one of the two frameworks I employed during this study, takes into account the cultural and social context in which participants experience a given phenomenon (Lopez & Willis, 2004). My goal in presenting these findings through common themes, categories, and codes, then, is not to present one generalized description of the participants’ initial field observations but to capture the individual participants’ realities as they experienced one shared phenomenon, being certain to interpret my participants’ narratives in relation to various contexts (Solomon, 1987). This chapter explores what the participants noticed during their initial field observation experience. Throughout the field observation experience, the participants noticed various aspects of teaching and learning. Many of these observations related directly to musical aspects of the class, while others addressed interactions between students and the teacher that were not specific only to music classrooms. Six major themes emerged from what the participants noticed during their initial field observation of a music classroom as a preservice music teacher: (1) pedagogical strategies; (2) student engagement; (3) teacher decision-making; (4) conflict resolution; (5) teacher language; and (6) (un)expectations. As the participants observed, either from the back of Mrs. B’s classroom or as a participant observer alongside Ms. Shore’s kindergarten students, they noticed the lesson activities. However, the activities themselves were less meaningful to the participants than how the teacher facilitated them, the extent to which students engaged in them, and the student responses they observed. Therefore, pedagogical strategies emerged as a theme 90 Pedagogical Strategies Movement as a Learning Tool from the participants’ observations of these activities, particularly the use of movement as a learning tool and their unknowing identification of Music Learning Theory concepts. Participants at both observation sites noticed different ways and times that movement accompanied the activities throughout the lesson. Katie noticed not only that Mrs. B incorporated movement into the lesson but the students’ musical abilities while using movement during a rhythm activity: “[Mrs. B] put movement with stuff a lot. Because, like you do in the classroom, putting movement with stuff is really helpful, especially for young kids, for rhythm and stuff. … I was so impressed that they could do the rhythm. That was crazy!” (Katie, Retrospective Think-Aloud Interview [RTA], November 9, 2017). As Mrs. B worked with the students on “decoding rhythms” (Mrs. B, Audio Recording, October 27, 2017) aurally, she asked the students first to tap the steady beat with their feet and echo the rhythm with their hands, then to repeat the rhythm using the appropriate rhythm syllables. Katie noted how useful movement was in helping the students work through this process, as she leaned over to me during the observation and said, “That’s so cool! You can see, like, five of them using their hands while they audiate in their heads so they can get that visual and also feel the rhythm” (Fieldnotes, October 27, 2017). This moment and pedagogical strategy in the lesson was also meaningful for Tobias. Along with the idea of a fun and active environment for the students, the educator also did a very successful job when it came to incorporating movement into the classroom environment for the students. The presence of movement is vital because it can allow for a mental break at times for students, and especially in music-based 91 classrooms it can connect what they are moving to the material. (Tobias, Observation Reflection, October 28, 2017) Tobias already believed in the benefits of movement in the music classroom, which he connected to what he observed. Like Katie, Sasha noted the extent to which Mrs. B incorporated movement into her classroom. There is movement in this classroom. I was thinking about that the whole time, too, because she put it in every activity nearly. She did the dance, then she had them do movements with the songs they were singing. And they were moving during the rhythm stuff, too…I feel like [movement] helps with memory but also attention. (Sasha, RTA, November 6, 2017) The use of movement was also a component in Ms. Shore’s practices, which Rebecca identified during her observation. Knowing that kids need different activities to keep them interested, Ms. Shore had several activities to do, all of which had some sort of physical action involved so the students wouldn’t get too antsy and bored with the activity. I think this is a really good way to get students to enjoy what they are doing, and it is helpful in their memory processing. It is very important for the kids to remember what they are singing and doing, and having an action to go along with the musical activity is very instrumental in their learning process. (Rebecca, Observation Reflection, October 26, 2017) Rebecca also identified practical applications of movement that were not tied to music learning but to other development considerations for the kindergarteners she observed. 92 Unknowingly Identifying Music Learning Theory in Practice Having them do little movements was really nice, and then using those to space out, ‘cause I know kids are constantly like, “I’m not touching you. I’m not touching you. I’m not touching you.” [laughs] So I think using movement like that helped them spread out so they each had their individual spaces. (Rebecca, RTA, November 13, 2017) Beyond simply noticing the incorporation of movement in the classroom, the participants identified the ways that both Mrs. B and Ms. Shore used music as a pedagogical tool for their students. With few exceptions, the Davidson participants’ observations seemed to be centered around or directly related to the types of activities that occurred during the class period. Ms. Shore, a graduate of the university the participants attended, studied Music Learning Theory (MLT) and its applications during her early childhood and elementary education methods courses, and that informed her pedagogy. Having no prior knowledge of or experience with MLT, Rebecca and Shane unknowingly identified several components of MLT, including the actual activities as well as Ms. Shore’s practices. The whole deal. One component of MLT is the importance of students’ exposure to music in a variety of tonalities and meters (Taggart, 2016). Shane noticed this throughout the lesson he observed, which he shared upon hearing one particular melody during the think-aloud interview process. I think I noted [in my observation reflection] that—yeah, this one was in a minor key. At least I think it was. So it was in a minor key, where the other one was in major, I think. I noticed how they were doing both. And I think there was one later in 93 three/four, whereas these are all in two/four. They were being exposed to different types of music, not just major music. So they kinda got the whole deal without even knowing it. (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017) For many first-year music majors, the expectation to identify—both aurally and with notation—as well as perform in many tonalities and meters is new upon entering the music program as they enroll in ear training or aural skills classes. Shane’s reference to “the whole deal” suggests that he may have been navigating a musical background that left him more comfortable in major tonalities and simple meters, and that he recognized the value of having varied musical experiences during the K-12 years. His acknowledgement of the students’ audiation abilities further supports this idea. …and then the kids would come up and repeat the pitch that [Ms. Shore] was singing. And I thought it was so cool how she incorporated…it’s this really vital skill. It’s basically what we do in ear training class except without the game. She just threw it right into a game, so they’re developing this vital skill through something that’s fun. (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017) These aspects of the activities rooted, unbeknownst to him, in MLT were a meaningful part of Shane’s observation experience. Musical mindset. Shane and Rebecca, in addition to noticing common elements of the activities they observed, found value in other MLT-related aspects of Ms. Shore’s classroom. Rebecca felt that Ms. Shore’s consistent use of singing, including songs, melodies, and even instructions, contributed to the students’ musical development. I like how she had them sing while they were transitioning, too, just so they were constantly in that musical mindset. She sang to them when they came in, she sings to 94 them when they leave, and in between every activity there was some sort of musical thing happening. (Rebecca, RTA, November 13, 2017) Shane noticed and appreciated Ms. Shore’s use of terminology with the students. Their use of terminology throughout just stuck out to me. That was cool how they didn't...she didn't sugarcoat any of the actual musical terms into kids. She didn't name it something fluffy and friendly. So the kids are gonna do it. They just called it the “resting tone.” They called it “audiation.” (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017) While Rebecca and Shane made numerous observations about the activities within the lesson, it was the pedagogical approach the activities supported that struck them. Unknowingly, they addressed their observations of MLT in practice within Ms. Shore’s classroom. Observations related to student engagement pervaded the Martindale participants’ time in the fifth- and sixth-grade general music class. During their time in Mrs. B’s classroom, the participants made numerous observations about student engagement within the context of individual activities, as well as Mrs. B’s consistent efforts to keep students engaged and on task. A salient question arose from their observations of student engagement: What do you, as the teacher, do when students are not participating? For Sasha, this question was an explicit interest as she entered the field to observe Mrs. B’s classroom. “I thought about some of the things that I would take notes on and one of those topics was the way the instructor would deal with students that were not as interested in participating in the activities at hand” (Sasha, Observation Reflection, October Student Engagement 95 Don’t Force Them 29, 2017). Her certainty that student engagement would be a concern may stem from several years’ worth of opportunities to observe her mother’s beginning algebra class. From her observations of student engagement, Sasha synthesized an answer to her initial question. They did a mixture of singing dancing, and instrumental playing [during class]. Within this you would find some students that didn’t necessarily enjoy all of the tasks, and instead of forcing the students to participate, the instructor let them explore their own interests and musical abilities. (Sasha Observation Reflection, October 29, 2017) Because Mrs. B’s approach to addressing issues of student engagement did not place mandatory participation at its core, Sasha felt the students had room to experience class in a way that worked for them as individuals. …as soon as I realized they were dancing, I thought about how I would be. And then I was like, "I wanna see how she handles students that wouldn't participate." And she just kinda let it happen. Because if people aren't comfortable doing something, especially when it comes to something physical, or even singing—especially 'cause that's so personal—you can't expect somebody to just sing in front of everybody. And this is very intimidating for some students. I feel like maybe more in middle school, it's definitely an issue. (Sasha, RTA, November 6, 2017) This approach aligned with Sasha’s beliefs about approaching students who are not participating in a way that still possesses sensitivity, which she felt would be relevant in a middle-school teaching context. 96 They Don’t Wanna Be There engaged” (Tobias, RTA, November 7, 2017) questioned this approach. Tobias, who noted “an underlying theme of…the kids weren’t wanting to be too Layla doesn’t get [a ukulele] the whole time. I’m thinking, “Is she always like that, or was that just that day?” ‘Cause I don’t know how [Mrs. B] would then address it if every single day Layla was like, “I’m never going to participate.” Do you just let her do her own thing every day? [chuckles] (Tobias, RTA, November 7, 2017) This question suggests that Tobias had little experience in classroom contexts where a lack of student engagement occurred regularly and few, if any, models of how teachers might respond. As the participants navigated their observations of student engagement, some believed that the compulsory nature of the class within the school’s curriculum contributed to many students’ lack of participation. Tobias and Katie’s observations shaped their perceptions of the challenges of teaching in an environment in which student engagement is a consistent concern as a result of disinterest. How do you get much done when it seems like they don’t wanna be there? Especially at a younger age and they’re not choosing to sign up for that, they’re all just there ‘cause they have to be. I feel like it would be hard to find a balance of focusing on the content of what’s being taught with the amount of disengagement that was happening for a lot of the kids. And [Mrs. B]’s trying to get these basic building blocks in their heads when some of them just don’t want to participate. She’s so focused on trying to get as many people engaged as possible. (Tobias, RTA, November 7, 2017) 97 Katie also felt that teaching students, especially group instrumental instruction, would be “hard” under these circumstances. I feel like instrumental learning [referring to ukuleles] is hard to do in a big classroom setting, and I praise her for that. I guess it's applied to band and orchestra, too, but having these young of kids play these instruments—when they could be messing around, totally not paying attention, and being like, "Why are we doing this?" when you're just trying to make a good sound or help these kids, and they're just goofing around. That would be so hard. I don't know how I would handle that as a teacher, ‘Cause you get to the high school level and it’s, “Okay, most of these kids are here 'cause they want to be here.” But this class, they're all playing ukuleles at different levels. Some kids probably don't even know what's going on, and the way that Mrs. B dealt with it, and just ploughing through…I don't know how she does that. (Katie, RTA, November 9, 2017) Based upon my knowledge of these participants’ backgrounds, it may be appropriate to describe Katie and Tobias as the students who participated consistently and passionately in their K-12 music experiences. As such, they may now struggle to understand why some students don’t “wanna be there” or to envision music teaching contexts in which student engagement is a daily concern. In considering the observation in its entirety, the participants were left with takeaways related to various aspects of student engagement, many of which they addressed through their observation reflections or as we watched the observation video during the think-aloud interview process. However, one participant reaction that I 98 Part of the Job observed in the classroom did not appear explicitly in the written reflection process or as we watched the observation together. Immediately after the students left Mrs. B’s classroom, Leon leaned forward, looked down our row at the back of the room, and said, “Man! That was exhausting” (Leon, Audio Recording, October 27, 2017). I asked him to explain this reaction at the moment it would have occurred in the video, had the camera captured us in its frame. Yeah, and it's not something that's discouraging, I think it's just kind of, not a revelation, but just something totally new to me that I didn't think of before. It's like the teacher was almost sweating but because you gotta constantly, "Okay, guys, let's do this," and something that usually would take only two minutes would take five, six minutes just to get one point across. It's like, "Wow, okay. You really have to do a lot to keep the children engaged and keep them involved." But I guess that's just part of the job, right? (RTA, November 6, 2017) Not having experienced music education in a school context from the fourth grade until high school, Leon did not have personal school experiences from which to draw as he processed this observation. Furthermore, the schools he attended after his lower elementary years did not reflect the same demographics of Martindale School, which also may have contributed to his reaction to what he noticed about student engagement in the field. The participants who observed at Martindale School noticed many aspects of student engagement that felt unfamiliar to many of them. These observations provided them greater insight into the role that student engagement plays in a teacher’s daily work. 99 Teacher Decision-Making Teachers must constantly make decisions about their practices. These decisions range from how they will design the component of each day’s lesson to the way they handle the day-to-day operations within their classroom. While many decisions can and should be made in advance of class, others require teachers to act on their feet, making a decision in real time. The participants at Martindale School observed the latter, specifically as Mrs. B chose how to address students who were off-task or unengaged, which sparked their curiosity as to her decision-making process. Katie considered the number of factors that must contribute to how Mrs. B makes those decisions. I was stressed after our observation…I think because it's a difficult class. From what I observed, I would classify it as a difficult class and she said, "Oh, no. This was a good class." … But there were so many variables happening in the classroom. And we talked to [Mrs. B] on the way out—I said, "How do you decide what's something that you need to address and what's something that you just let go?" And she was saying you have to take into account where these kids are. If one kid is pulling another kid off-task or off-topic, you have to think, “How's this kid doing at home, what's going on with this kid's home life?” All of these things that she thinks of in a half second are crazy. ‘Cause I'd be like... [fakes a scream and gestures in front of herself] "How do I deal with this situation in this context?" The speed at which she decided, "I'm gonna address this situation, but I'm gonna let this one go," was absolutely incredible, and she fits so well in that classroom. (Katie, RTA, November 9, 2017) 100 As a beginning preservice teacher, Katie may have had very few experiences that allowed her to experience and execute the type of decision-making she observed from Mrs. B. This left her feeling as though she would be unable to do so herself in a similar setting. Tobias who, like Katie, made many observations about student engagement, questioned what informed Mrs. B’s decision-making process. How does she choose what to acknowledge and what to ignore? [A student] just got up and walked to the front of the room because he dropped that thing she had given him. And earlier—pretty recently—she had said, “Let’s make sure we’re not playing with them,” but she didn’t say anything this time. How does she choose when to say, “Hey, excuse me. Make sure that doesn’t happen again,” because you might even be kinda put on the spot in front of everyone. (Tobias, RTA, November 7, 2017) In the first formal opportunity for Tobias to share his thoughts from the field, he spoke to the importance of identifying decision-making in Mrs. B’s teaching. This balance between acknowledging students that were doing a good job in the class as well as noting those who were acting poorly was an important concept for me, because there may be times when I am unsure how to handle something like that. (Tobias, RTA, November 7, 2017) When we watched the observation together during the think-aloud interview process, I observed Tobias working to answer those questions that arose from the field- observation experience. See, that time [Mrs. B] felt the need to say something. Layla was not paying attention, but she wasn’t necessarily distracting anyone else. But if someone is taking away from the class as a whole, then that’s when she has to say something. 101 Conflict Resolution Maybe that plays some role in how she makes those choices. (Tobias, RTA, November 7, 2017) From their observations of teacher-decision making, the participants identified the connection between student engagement and teacher response. They also developed an attention to the teacher’s decision-making processes, including the considerations that inform her choices in addressing or not addressing off-task or disengaged students. In times when Mrs. B chose to address specific students’ level of engagement or off- task behaviors, there sometimes arose conflict. The participants observed Mrs. B’s responses and approach to conflict throughout the class, which left a meaningful impression for each of the five participants who visited Martindale School. While they noticed how Mrs. B addressed individual students and quick, isolated incidents of conflict, two events shaped the participants’ impressions of her conflict resolution strategies: a visibly upset student whose lack of participation and instigation of off-task behaviors necessitated Mrs. B’s attention throughout the class, and a student whose engagement in class changed drastically after being admonished during an activity. The first event began just after the start of class and continued throughout our observation. Two or three minutes into the period, Layla was brought to class by another adult in the school—it’s unclear whether this was another teacher, a guidance counselor, or some other role, but it didn’t feel or read to me like it was an administrator. Layla, wearing jeans, white skate shoes, and a pink and black hoodie, half trudged and half Layla: Late and Livid 102 stomped away from the adult when they reached the back of the room (where we were sitting) and she motioned for Layla to join the class. There was a wide enough gap between us and the rows of chairs where students were sitting that we couldn’t discern what was being said, but I’m sure our presence in the room didn’t make the situation any better for Layla. She had her hair pulled up (ponytail without the hair pulled all the way through), so every step she took made her blonde ring of hair bounce dramatically. She finally made it to the side of the room, our left, where she pulled a chair from the stacks and sat away from the group. From that angle, and with her hair up, we could see her face clearly. My first thought? “She. Is. Maaaaaad.” She crossed her arms over her chest. This probably transpired in all of 15 seconds, but Mrs. B didn’t miss a beat of instruction while it happened. Surprisingly, the 20 some-odd students in the room weren’t all focused on Layla, but Mrs. B finished her sentence to the class and looked toward Layla, whose not-with-the rest-of-the-class location she addressed. (Fieldnotes, October 27, 2017) In the moment during class when Layla finally joined the group, she turned around and stared at all of us sitting at the back of the room about three times. Katie, who was sitting next to me, looked at me in between Layla’s gaze and whispered, “I’m scared!” in a way that was half joking and half truthful. Layla sat in the back row next to two of her friends but, save one activity, she did not participate in class. Beyond a lack of participation, she consistently talked to and touched her friends, which resulted in three students being off-task and not participating. Her responses to Mrs. B—or lack of response—seemed to carry the same anger that she 103 Jamal’s Shutdown projected when she first entered the room, which eventually turned to agitation and, finally, sadness by the end of the class period. The second event that influenced the participants’ observations began about halfway through the class, during an activity in which the students were spread out across the room dancing to a popular song. This particular incident came up in our conversation in the car immediately following the observation, as we compared our accounts to be more certain of what we observed. To the best of our collective knowledge, Jamal had been engaged and participating in class until the moment he jumped mid-dance, after which Mrs. B told him to “be careful of the camera.” (She was referring to the video camera I had placed as inconspicuously as possible at the side of the room, just inside her office door, to record the class for retrospective interviews.) Wow. Usually I’m big on behavior stuff. He must have, I don’t know, something with authority. Somebody tells him something—you know what I’m saying—they shut him down. He looked like he’d want to [keep dancing], but he’s holding himself back. She says something to him the first time he jumped, and after that he’s like, “Okay. You know what? No.” It’s interesting. (Leon, RTA, November 6, 2017) Mrs. B had addressed both our presence and the camera at the start of class, and the students had been recorded in previous classes, which led us to believe that his acknowledgment of the camera’s presence was not the cause of his subsequent behavior changes. During the final portion of the class, in which the students developed their beginning ukulele skills, the shift in Jamal’s behavior escalated. This was the first year that 104 Mrs. B’s students had access to ukuleles, which she bought after applying for and receiving a grant to purchase a classroom set. She had established clear procedures and expectations for playing the ukulele, from the moment students retrieved a ukulele from the storage shelves at the back of the room to the moment they returned it to the same. As the last few students returned to their seats with ukuleles there was chatter, and Jamal and the student next to him had begun to fight over something Jamal had in his hand. Each of the participants noted, either in their observation reflection, during the think-aloud interview process, or both, the subsequent exchange between Jamal and Mrs. B. Mrs. B: [to Jamal and neighbor] Excuse me, gentlemen, y’all gonna be okay? Jamal: [stands] No. Mrs. B: No? What do you need to be able to have a good day, Jamal? [to class] The talking needs to stop or some people are choosing to put away their ukuleles. We can put them away as a class if we need to, because now I have other friends that are choosing to talk. Make your choice and show it with your behavior. Jamal: [mutters something under his breath and sits down] Mrs. B: [calmly] I did not. I want you to have a good day, Jamal. And I’m saying, whatever you need, if you will tell me what you need, I will help you. A few moments later, Jamal walked to the back of the room, put his ukulele away, and returned to his seat. Mrs. B waited for him to get back to his seat and instructed the class that she would be coming around to check their ukulele tuning and help anyone with a chord fingering if necessary. As she made her way around the perimeter of the students’ rows, she eventually stopped and knelt down to speak with Jamal one-on-one, a tactic the participants noted in her interactions with Layla as well. The participants identified a 105 Mrs. B, the Calm “Listener-Teacher” change in Jamal’s behavior in response to their conversation and, though he still did not play the ukulele with the class, he later asked Mrs. B if he could assist his classmates in returning theirs to the storage shelves. The participants consistently observed Mrs. B’s approach to interacting with the students during these times of conflict and her calm demeanor, along with the fact that she “never lost her cool” (Sasha, Observation Reflection, October 29, 2017), resonated with them. Marcellus remembered, “I was watching her more in that moment [than Jamal] to see if she was gonna stay level headed. And she talked to the student like they were on the same level. ‘Cuz they’re people so she talked to them like equals. And she kept that calm” (Marcellus, RTA, November 6, 2017). Having worked as a tutor for an afterschool math program and attended schools in an area with demographics similar to Martindale School, the students’ actions did not faze Marcellus; however, he anticipated, based upon those experiences, that Mrs. B might get angry and speak condescendingly to the students. Unlike Marcellus, Katie had no experience in a similar context but, based upon her personal reactions to what she was observing, anticipated that Mrs. B would raise her voice. She’s stating the expectations again, and her tone is so calm. That’s what I really noticed about her is, the whole time she was just… There’re always those moments where you could think, “Is she gonna yell? Is she gonna yell? but she was just, “We’re not gonna do that.” (Katie, RTA, November 9, 2017) The participants noticed that Mrs. B’s approach to conflict during class included the use of a calm tone of voice when addressing students in the group and maintaining a consistent attitude. 106 Some of the participants identified key tenets of Mrs. B’s teaching practices in their observations of her conflict resolution strategies: treating each student as a valuable individual who is worthy of respect and whose voice should be heard. As stated above, Marcellus commented upon the way Mrs. B “talked to [the students] as equals” (Marcellus, RTA, November 6, 2017), and she demonstrated respect by not only talking to the students in times of conflict but also by listening to them. Tobias identified her multi-faceted role as “authority, listener-teacher” (Tobias, RTA, November 7, 2017). A key idea that I saw put into play by the observation was about the issue of behavior but taking it one level further. There was a specific case in the classroom where the educator saw that a lack of engagement from a certain individual was from a deeper cause that day. Therefore, she chose to speak with them at a one on one level so that she could understand what outside factors may be leading to his behavior. (Tobias, Observation Reflection, October 28, 2017) Beyond just observing this approach, Marcellus addressed its effectiveness in Mrs. B’s classroom. Another big thing I noticed was Mrs. B’s effectiveness in resolving issues privately with students. When students were having difficulty in class, she would just pull them aside and have a conversation with them to see where their head is. She didn’t curse, yell, demean, or embarrass any of the students. Instead she handled each incident with care and in a very personal way that kids appreciate much more. She gave many students chances to redeem themselves when they were being disruptive or got an answer wrong. She never made them feel bad about themselves. (Marcellus, Observation Reflection, November 5, 2017) 107 His interpretation about the students’ feelings regarding Mrs. B’s approach suggests that Marcellus may have experienced an aggressive and belittling approach in his experiences as a K-12 student or, at the least, had experience in contexts that necessitated some type of conflict resolution strategies. These examples capture the participants’ observations and interpretations of conflict as well as Mrs. B’s strategies for resolving conflict within her classroom. Whether they had previous experience with such conflict or no schema for what they observed, the participants identified the importance of Mrs. B’s calm, consistent presence in difficult times. Additionally, they noticed that addressing conflict that occurs in the group may be more successfully and effectively addressed one-on-one. For several of the participants, there were aspects of the initial field observation that surprised them. Some of what they noticed or experienced was completely unexpected, causing them to consider something that had never been a part of their thought processes, while others experienced shock as their expectations or preconceived notions were challenged. These disruptions to the participants’ thinking and perspectives centered around (1) their responses to the observation environment and (2) acting as a participant observer during the observation. One participant at each observation site experienced an initial shock upon entering the field as they encountered unexpected aspects from their respective observation contexts. In recounting what she noticed upon entering Martindale School and Mrs. B’s Response to the Observation Environment (Un)expectations 108 classroom, Katie spoke fervently, as though she were channeling those moments in the field. I think mostly for me it was the whole demographic of the school…because I came from a predominantly white school, and I noticed immediately walking in, not only the kids but the staff also, the diversity and just the demographics were really interesting for me. ‘Cause walking in I had no idea, and soon I was like, “Wow, this is not gonna be how my experience was.” ‘Cause clearly, physically it's different, but also I know that there's more things that go along with that. Like where the location is, how these kids...I noticed immediately, I'm like this is gonna be a crazy classroom, ‘cause we caught the tail end of that last one, and from what she said and the way that she's like, "This is gonna be a mess." I knew this wasn't gonna be your typical...my personal experience. (Katie, RTA, November 9, 2017) Katie, during MUE 101 class meetings and through written reading responses, demonstrated an awareness of and sensitivity to current narratives regarding privilege, systemic racism, and inequity within education. While speaking of her whiteness and privilege was neither unfamiliar nor uncomfortable for her, the experience of being in a context with vastly different demographics from anything she had encountered in her own life was new and unexpected for Katie. This led her to jump to conclusions based upon the racial makeup of the school. From her initial reactions and thought processes, short observation of students leaving Mrs. B’s classroom, and the brief dialogue we had with Mrs. B prior to the observation, Katie determined that the observation would differ from her prior conceptions of fifth- and sixth-grade music education. 109 interpretation of Ms. Shore’s classroom environment as we entered the room. Shane’s shock came not from the overall context of the school, but from his initial We walked into what I thought was chaos. There were kids running around and yelling everywhere in this tiny classroom. Eventually, after a few minutes of wading through a sea of little kids who stood no taller than my knees, I found out that the teacher was giving them a free day and allowing them to run around chaotically yelling and banging things. So it wasn’t what I initially thought, rather, it was controlled chaos and the teacher had a close eye on the kids. Even more so, she was walking around with a little light and would sing something to a single student and they’d then attempt to sing it back. I thought it was interesting how she did that. (Shane, Observation Reflection, October 24, 2017) During the think-aloud interview process Shane expounded upon these first few moments, which provided insight as to why they had been so shocking for him. [chuckles] Yeah, it was...I'm not used to kids this young, that's for sure. With Boy Scouts, the lowest I've ever gone is sixth grade, so I'm very, very comfortable with middle schoolers and high schoolers, but… [exhales, shakes head with widened eyes and a smile] but this was like, "Oh, my God." [chuckles] Even third graders or something would be...I would still feel comfortable with that. This just kinda threw me right into it. … I didn't know [the class] was on free time yet, so I saw all of them running around, I was like, "Oh, my God." [laughter] It was mixed with, "These kids are way younger than I thought they were gonna be," and then these kids are running all over the place, so I was just like, "Oh, my God." (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017) 110 As he continued to share what he was thinking upon entering Ms. Shore’s room, Shane explained the process by which he came to better understand what he was seeing. So yeah, I thought it was a little chaotic, but then I saw the teacher just walking around and it was cool, because she...I thought, "Oh, my God, this teacher doesn't have control over her whole class." Except yeah, she did. She was just…she had a complete control over her class. She was walking around—she would even walk around with a little light or whatever it was, the pumpkin light, and would tell kids to sing and stuff like that. It was really cool. So they were having fun, but they were also learning, and she was—it looked chaotic and everything, but she was in total control of all of it. She was kinda in control beneath the surface. Little did you know! [laughs] (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017) For Shane, there was an element of panic amidst his initial discomfort but, upon taking a moment to look more closely at the students, the teacher, and their interactions, he realized that there was no need for concern. He may not have expected that learning could be taking place in an environment that appeared to outsiders as chaotic and unorganized or in which the teacher was not the focus of the students’ attention. Moreover, his notion of what a teacher’s “control” might look like in a classroom seems to have been challenged and, ultimately, broadened upon observing the interactions taking place in front of him. As they spent time in the field observing music teaching and learning in an authentic context, the participants noticed a wide range of student behaviors and attributes that they did not expect. The participants who visited Davidson Primary School acted as participant observers in Ms. Shore’s class, which allowed them to have constant interaction with the Acting as a Participant Observer 111 students and experience the activities firsthand. These interactions challenged their expectations of students’ abilities and placed them in unexpected and surprising situations. Students’ musical, intellectual, and social abilities. Growing up, Rebecca had spent time in her mother’s classroom full of preschoolers, from which she developed an understanding of the social and intellectual capabilities of students in early childhood. Yet, Rebecca was impressed with a student who approached her as we entered Ms. Shore’s room. This isolated incident, however, was the first in a series of interactions she had with students that challenged her beliefs about the musical, intellectual, and social abilities of kindergarten-aged students. One of the girls in the class ran up to us and was very excited to teach us the bat song, which she had learned in class and wanted to teach to someone else. The excitement in her voice when teaching us the words and motions to this song was almost inspiring. A teacher had been able to get a small child excited about music and being able to teach other people this song she had learned. The song was a type of duet in between big bat and little bat. The student was very excited to know both parts to the song, and taught me the little bat part so I could sing with her. The students were very excited to have visitors in the classroom and were more than happy to show us all the skills they had learned. (Rebecca, Observation Reflection, October 26, 2017) The think-aloud interview shed light on the extent to which these kindergarteners surprised Rebecca. As we watched the video of the observation together, she excitedly listed the ways that this interaction challenged what she believed about young students’ abilities. 112 expectations for the class itself were different from reality. …then, just how friendly they were. They weren’t scared to come up to us and say, “This is what I’ve learned in music. Do you wanna learn it with me?” [That little girl] came right up to me, and I just kneeled right down. She said, [in a childlike voice] “Can I teach you the big bat, little bat song?" [as if speaking to a young child] "Of course." She was confident enough in her musical abilities to teach someone else that she has never met before...this little girl. She was doing sight-singing stuff— stuff we do in Ear Training. She was like, [miming the use of a bat finger puppet] "All right: bum, bum, ba-ba-ba-ba bum." (Rebecca, RTA, November 13, 2017) The experience of participant observation itself was unexpected for Rebecca, whose I was not expecting what ended up happening. I was expecting to go in there and see a bunch of kids sitting around and being like, “Okay, this is what a quarter note is. This is what this rhythm is.” And instead these kids were just applying what they had learned already and I just thought that was just so cool...and in kindergarten. (Rebecca, RTA, November 13, 2017) That the students were applying knowledge at such a young age disrupted Rebecca’s prior conceptions of their intellectual abilities. She described an instance in the observation recording when Ms. Shore asked the students “what audiation was and didn’t feed the answer to them” (Observation Reflection, October 26, 2017). This blew my mind—that she was explicitly talking about, "What does audiate mean?" and they knew exactly what it was. And I like how they all had their own idea and way of saying, "This is what audiating is." I think it's really cool 'cause a lot of times we just feed definitions to kids and that gets lost in their mind. But she 113 allowed them to elaborate. She only took an answer from one kid, but I could tell that they all had their own idea of what audiating was. And that just blew my mind. In kindergarten, they all were all like, "Audiating is when we don't sing words but we hear them in our head." And some of them were whispering to their friends and I was trying to hear what they were saying. They were like, "It means we hear it instead of sing it." They know what audiating is, and they have their own idea instead of being like, "Audiation is being able to hear a pitch or rhythm without singing it." [chuckle] They truly understood it and that just blew my mind. (Rebecca, RTA, November 13, 2017) She was shocked at their ability to use their newly acquired knowledge but to have a true, individual understanding of certain musical concepts and their abilities to articulate that understanding. For Rebecca, the students’ comprehension and application of these concepts throughout the activities was one of her greatest takeaways from the observation experience. What do I do? For Shane, one interaction stood out above the rest. During an activity in which everyone, minus the student whose turn it was to sing with Ms. Shore, was seated on the floor, one student seemed enamored with Shane. He was seated with his back to Shane but gradually scooted closer and closer to him, looking back a few seconds after every scoot to gauge the distance between himself and Shane. He eventually inched up to Shane’s legs just enough that his back was brushing them, touching Shane’s shoe for just a moment before he looked up at him and then returned his attention to the front of the room. 114 It made me really uncomfortable. Not really uncomfortable, it just made me a little... well, I suppose moderately uncomfortable. … I’ve been in situations where something happened, and it was like, “What do I do.? … This was one of these times, it was just, "What do I do? Is this... " And I didn't know how people felt about it, as well, because I didn't know if it was acceptable for this guy to just hop up and sit in my lap, and stuff like that. When we were on the car ride home and you were just like, "Oh, I thought that guy was gonna hop in your lap, that was cute." I was just kinda like, "Okay, cool. So it would've been fine if he hopped in my lap.” I wasn't sure if I should have been talking to the guy, or if I should have been like, "Hey, buddy, scoot a little forward," or welcome him. (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017) He had learned from previous experience to consider a number of variables in trying to understand this situation and the possibilities for how he should respond. As he continued to share his thought process during this interaction with the student, Shane clarified that it was not the student’s actions that made him uncomfortable; rather, he felt anxious because he was unsure of how to respond given both the context we were in and his lack of familiarity with the student. Six major themes emerged from my analysis of the data about what the participants noticed during their initial field observation of a music classroom as a preservice music teacher: (1) Pedagogical Strategies; (2) Student Engagement; (3) Teacher Decision-Making; (4) Conflict Resolution; (5) Teacher Language; and (6) (Un)expectations. There were interactions between many of the student-focused and teacher-focused observations, as participants’ observations of either the teacher or the student(s) informed or sparked an 115 Summary observation of the other. Within these findings, participants made observations that directly related to music teaching and learning as well as others that could apply to teaching and learning in general; however, only one of the six themes encompassed solely musical aspects. Musical observations included pedagogical strategies such as the use of movement as a learning tool and, despite having no familiarity with the approach, the implementation of Music Learning Theory practices. The way in which participants observed in the music classes also differed. Those who observed at Davidson Primary School acted as participant observers, participating in each of the activities during the class and sitting, standing, moving, and singing along with the kindergarten students. Because they were actively involved throughout the class, the participants were unable to take fieldnotes during their observation. However, their role as participant observers afforded them continual opportunities to interact with the students, which seemed to be a memorable aspect of the observation experience for them individually and as they observed their peers’ interactions with students. A salient consideration in examining these findings is the role of context in what the participants noticed. In addition to the differences in how the two groups of participants observed during their respective music classes, the overarching themes of what they observed were often context-specific. Those who observed at Davidson Primary School noticed more aspects of lesson content and student abilities than their peers who observed at Martindale School. Similarly, those who observed at Martindale School made more observations related to student engagement and the teacher-student interactions than their peers who observed at Davidson Primary School. While the age of the students may also be a contributing factor, the role of context with regard to school location and 116 demographics as well as any site-specific considerations (e.g., the recent reinstatement of music instruction for the students being observed or a school serving only kindergarten students) seems to be an important consideration. 117 CHAPTER 6: MAKING CONNECTIONS The “grand tour” question guiding this study was, how do preservice music teachers enrolled in an introductory music education course make meaning of their first observations of a music classroom in K-12 schools? In seeking to understand both if and how preservice music teachers might draw connections between their teacher identities and what they notice during an observation, I employed Olsen’s (2008) model of teacher identity. Olsen (2008) described teacher identity development as a circular process in which a teacher “is always collapsing the past, present, and future into a complex mélange of professional beliefs, goals, memories, and predictions” (p. 24). The components of this model, then, account for an individual’s past and present as well as what they envision and hope for their future. Olsen’s (2008) model, which he developed as an “analytic for understanding beginning teacher development” (p. 23), captures how “teacher recruitment, preservice preparation, inservice professional development, and teacher retention may be chronologically sequenced but, epistemologically, they are intertwined and continually loop back and forth” (p. 24). Because I employed this model as a framework to examine the identity development of preservice teachers, those aspects directly related to inservice teaching were not applicable; however, given the interrelatedness of the model’s components and its intentional design to capture the lifespan of a teacher, its application to preservice teacher identity development was both logical and appropriate. Whereas I explored in Chapter 5 what the participants noticed, in this chapter I discuss the participants’ observations by presenting the connections they made to their teacher identities. As Olsen’s (2008) model depicts, teacher identity encompasses the past, 118 present, and future, and the participants in this study related their observations to aspects of all three, both in the moment and through the process of reflecting upon the observation experience as a whole. This chapter will elucidate the connections participants made between what they noticed and those aspects of teacher identity informed by their past and present. The participants made connections to three components of teacher identity described in Olsen’s (2008) model: (1) prior personal experiences, including family and school; (2) professional experience, including work with children; and (3) teacher education experience. For the purposes of this study, I considered prior personal and professional experiences to be an aspect of the participants’ past, and teacher education experience to represent the participants’ present, as they were enrolled in a music teacher education program at the time of this study. In considering prior personal experiences as a component of teacher identity development, Olsen’s (2008) model specifies the inclusion of family and schooling. The participants each made connections to their personal prior experiences, including their K- 12 school experiences as well as how their family backgrounds shaped certain aspects of their initial field observations. Additionally, the act of remembering themselves as school- aged children, both in and outside of school contexts, emerged from these connections. Ultimately, the participants related their observations from the field to four main areas of connection within their prior personal experiences: (1) family influence; (2) K-12 school experiences; (3) remembering self as child; and (4) seeing self reflected in teacher. Prior Personal Experiences 119 Family Influence For the participants who made connections between what they noticed and family, their families influenced their comfort or lack of comfort interacting with the students whom they encountered in the field. This was particularly true for Rebecca and Shane, who acted as participant observers alongside the kindergarteners in Ms. Shore’s classroom. Rebecca, who kneeled responsively upon entering Ms. Shore’s room, felt that her family background contributed to her ease in engaging with the students. I have a very large family, so there are constantly kids I'm surrounded by, and I nanny back home. So I'm really used to being with kids. I figured if I was standing in the background, it'd be terrifying for [the kindergarten students]. I was like, "Well, you gotta be calm." They're young enough where if you're not interacting with them, they're not gonna really do what they're supposed to, so you have to make them comfortable. So, I figured just get into it. (Rebecca, Retrospective Think-Aloud [RTA], November 13, 2017) Conversely, it had been years since Shane found himself around young children and, despite being the oldest of the children in his immediate and extended family, those experiences did not prepare him for the kindergarteners at Davidson Primary School. I really liked that school. I've never...well, lately—lately as in the past five years, I haven't been exposed to kids this young. My mom teaches preschool, actually, but I never go see her class or anything or never help her out, because I'm always doing stuff. … So, yeah. When I walked in here I was like, "Whoa! Young kids." [chuckles] (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017) 120 K-12 School Experiences Because of their prior experiences with the children in their families, Shane and Rebecca brought with them different degrees of comfort in interacting with the students they encountered. Some participants made connections to aspects of their observation experience and experiences from their time in K-12 schools. These connections included an elementary general music class and a high school choral ensemble as well as a high school psychology course. The participants drew from these experiences as they made meaning of what they noticed in the field. Sasha, who entered the field already “interested in racial diversity” in music education, referenced her time in her high school’s choral program as contrasting to what she observed in Mrs. B’s room. As I took a look around the classroom I was intrigued by the amount of diversity in the classroom. I couldn’t help but compare this to my high school ensemble that was comprised of nearly all caucasians. I thought about why this school had a more racially diverse classroom, and then I realized that this class is not optional. (Sasha, Observation Reflection, October 29, 2017) In trying to understand, she attributed this observed difference to another difference between Mrs. B’s general music class and her own high school choral ensemble. Sasha connected the difference in racial makeup between the two contexts to the compulsory nature of the general music class. In reality, there are a number of factors that may have contributed to the differences in racial makeup between Mrs. B’s classroom and Sasha’s 121 high school choral ensemble. Her assumption may suggest that she failed to think first of the contextual factors of either school. What Shane noticed about Ms. Shore’s musicality in the classroom sparked a memory from his elementary general music class as a child. In addition to teaching, Ms. Shore performed and toured with her three-person band. She often wrote the songs she used in her classroom, and Shane appreciated the fact that she incorporated and displayed the skills of a “professional level musician” to her students. I remember when I was super little, we had a class just like this. It was basically the same thing, but it was singing all this stuff out of books. And then, my teacher, Mrs. McAfee, she... We all knew that she played—she didn't even call it the violin, she played the fiddle. And the last day of class, she whipped it out and played this thing. And it was awesome. I was like, "I didn't know people could do that!" [laughs] So, yeah, it was cool that these kids get to do that every single day, where at the end of my fifth-grade year, Mrs. McAfee played her violin, and we were just like, "That was awesome!" (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017) He felt strongly about the experiences the students had as a result of having Ms. Shore as their teacher, which he related to a powerful moment from his own elementary music experiences. Shane, whose musical background included songwriting and performing in both formal and informal contexts, was able to observe a teacher whose musical background was similar to his own and saw that this type of musicianship can play a positive role in the lives of students in the classroom. Katie noticed the power of incentive and positive reinforcement with the students in her fifth- and sixth-grade general music class. She connected her prior knowledge about 122 positive reinforcement from a high school psychology course to her observation of Mrs. B’s use of small, textured, silicone balls throughout the class as a reward. I thought it was great, ‘cause I immediately thought back to my psychology class in high school. And I thought about how when you are reinforcing behavior with positives, instead of shaming the negatives, it's a lot better for mental reasons—for the kids to not be like, “Oh, I'm doing this wrong, and this is bad, it's wrong.” Instead you're saying, “This is the good thing, and I'm gonna give you the good thing for you following these expectations that we've set.” So I thought that was really, really cool ‘cause I had never seen that before in a classroom. My classrooms were always, "Stop talking, you're not doing that right," instead of like these kids’, “Oh, you're doing well. This is what you get for doing well.” (Katie, RTA, November 9, 2017) In addition to applying her prior knowledge to what she observed, she compared her experiences as student to that of the students in Mrs. B’s music class. Sasha, Shane, and Katie’s prior experiences during their K-12 schooling helped them make meaning of these observations from the field, which shaped their developing teacher identities. Each of the participants, in response to what they noticed in the field, often remembered and referenced themselves as a child. As the participants remembered themselves as children, they made connections to their pasts in both the context of school and outside of school. In school contexts. Many aspects of what the participants noticed about students resulted in them considering how they might have acted at the same age of the students they observed or recounting a specific event or characteristic from their younger self that Remembering Self as Child 123 reminded them of what they observed in the field. Tobias and Sasha both reacted to one particular activity during Mrs. B’s class, in which the students spread throughout the room to dance to “Cha-Cha Slide” by DJ Casper. While we watched the observation video together, Tobias immediately reacted. “This made me think, ‘If I was in fifth grade, I wouldn’t have been dancing.’ I wouldn’t be dancing now if I was in that situation! [laughs]” (Tobias, RTA, November 7, 2017). Sasha also imagined herself in that scenario and remembered how she felt as a young student during similar activities. And I know for sure, if I was in this situation, I would have stood there and been petty and done nothing. [chuckles] … But I would always get so self-conscious about dancing, especially because at this age, I don't know how—this is fifth grade? [Becky: Yeah, fifth and sixth grade.] Fifth grade. I was probably 5'11”, and everyone else was so much shorter and I was just…I was very self-conscious, and so moving a big body compared to the small girl next to me, it’s just…yeah. (Sasha, RTA, November 6, 2017) Despite, during their reflective processes, having identified the benefits of incorporating movement into the classroom during other activities in the class period, Tobias and Sasha knew that they would not have participated in the Cha-Cha Slide as fifth graders. They noticed varying levels of engagement throughout the activity, and their personal experiences provided them with understanding as to why some students might not have participated. This same activity evoked a meaningful prior experience for Leon but at the end conclusion of the activity. When the students returned to their seats after dancing, Mrs. B took a moment to speak to the class: 124 For those of us doing an excellent, excellent, excellent job today, I appreciate everyone who gave it a try. I know that dancing’s not everyone’s favorite thing, but I do wanna take a poll. Will you give me a thumb rating of your enjoyment—“I liked it,” [models thumb up] “I didn’t like it,” [models thumb down] “I kinda liked it?” [models thumb parallel to the ground; student interjects, “I loved it!” and puts two thumbs up above her head] (Mrs. B, Video Recording, October 27, 2017) About half of the class showed thumbs up, and the other half was a mixture of thumbs down, thumbs neutral, and no response. At this point while watching the recording together, Leon mentioned to me, “When it becomes more relevant, I’ll share a story that I remember from back then” (Leon, RTA, November 6, 2017). I was intrigued by what he might share and, towards the end of the interview, I made a point to follow up. He then recounted an experience from his elementary music class. Oh, the story, it's kind of a participation story. …So this was in the fourth grade, and we were taking the poll about the different types of music that people listen to. And I went to an all-white school, I'll just say it like that. [Becky: Okay, so were you the only person of color in your class?] I believe so, in the music class that I was in. In the school, there was very few. Probably 10 or 15 in the entire school. So, …they had rock, they had rap, they had all these things, and then they had country and then gospel. And I remember at the time, I was so ashamed to say that I listened to gospel music, because nobody else listened to that type of music. And so when they asked what type of music we listen to, I raised my hand to the rap music, and I'm not even a rap fan. I just put myself into that stereotype because I knew, "Okay, that's what people are gonna think." So I just put myself there. And I don't want to be 125 marginalized for listening to gospel music. So I was like, "I'm not gonna... " I didn't do it, and I was so ashamed. And it just made me think about, in these type of settings, maybe there's some people that really enjoy music, but maybe in the culture of the school or in the classroom, it's not the cool thing to be really into this type of stuff, I don't know. And that could hinder participation. (Leon, RTA, November 6, 2017) Having been in the minority within his classroom, both with regard to race and to musical interests, Leon did not feel comfortable sharing that aspect of his musical background with the class as a young child. He related Mrs. B’s poll of the students to this moment in his childhood, which provided him with a possibility as to why student participation during the activity and the poll itself varied across the class. It led him to think that some of the non- participation as well as even the participation could be as a result of peer pressure that may have been related to race. However, Leon did not identify that this classroom was much more racially diverse than the one in which he felt stereotyped, which indicates he did not consider the contextual factors of this classroom before drawing a connection between his experiences and the students in Mrs. B’s classroom. Marcellus related his observations to personal experiences in school as he observed Mrs. B’s calm and respectful approach to engaging with students who were off-task or disruptive. I don’t know. I’ve been in situations where I would do something wrong, and the teacher would straight go to yelling, trying to demean me and embarrass me in front of the classroom…when all you had to do was talk to me at a calm level and tell me what I was doing wrong. You know, just give me that, “Okay, I’m watching you now, 126 be cognizant of that.” But I never got that, so… [What Mrs. B did] was great, to me. (Marcellus, RTA, November 6, 2017) Having attended K-12 schools with demographics similar to Martindale School, Marcellus had firsthand experiences that were comparable to the experiences of the students in Mrs. B’s fifth- and sixth-grade general music class. This provided him a richer and more personal understanding of Mrs. B’s approach to addressing off-task behaviors in her classroom, as he was able to see his younger self in the students and some of their actions. In his observation reflection, Leon spoke to a reaction from his peers during the observation that he found upsetting. He felt that the others had judged Layla (the student who arrived late, visibly upset, and gave us several stares after she was seated with the rest of the class) negatively. “One thing I must note is the little girl that kept looking back at the group. Some people [participants in the study] started calling her and others ‘problem children’ (Leon, Observation Reflection, October 31, 2017). Thinking of himself as a child helped Leon understood that there could be any number of reasons for Layla’s level of engagement and how she carried herself that day. When we watched the class together during the think-aloud interview process, I gained a deeper understanding as to why he felt moved to include his response to his peers’ reactions. There's always things. And I remember for myself, they probably would consider me a problem child when I was in that age group because I was very talkative. I know it probably don't seem like that now. I probably seem kinda quiet, but I was the class- clown type of guy. Make the whole class laugh, get sent to the principal's office, all that stuff. But I only say that just because, to me, when I look at something like that, what could seem like a setback when you're younger could be one of your greatest 127 assets when you're older. And so I don't wanna shut that down. I don't want to shut that out of a child just because, at that time, it may seem like something that is negative. But I think, as I wrote, as a teacher, you have to look at those traits in a kid and say, "Okay, how can we mold this and send you in the right direction, so that what's already given to you, your gifts, can be used for the better, to help other people?" That's kinda our piece. (Leon, RTA, November 6, 2017) Leon felt that his talkativeness and joking nature as a young person, which he harnessed into a valuable tool, served him well in his adult life, especially as a future educator who will work with groups of students daily. He believed that these qualities made him engaging and, in some ways, destined to be in a field where he could utilize those personal traits. Given his prior personal experiences, Leon had a different perspective than those who sat next to him in the field as a result of his reflections on his own experiences as a child. In many ways, the participants made sense of and found meaning from the observations that they could connect to their previous K-12 school experiences. Outside of school. Some of the participants who drew from their childhood remembered facets of their experiences that were not specific to a school context. For example, Rebecca saw herself in one of the kindergarten students at Davidson Primary School, whom she pointed out to me and remarked, “That’s exactly what I looked like when I was little, giant t-shirt and jeans. Hair in a ponytail? [nods and smiles] Always” (Rebecca, RTA, November 13, 2017). Though Shane expressed and showed his astonishment at the small classroom full of kindergarteners at Davidson Primary School, he still was able to remember the feeling of being a young child and idolizing college students. He noted that different students, at 128 various times throughout the class, seemed to be entranced with what he or any of us visiting the classroom were doing. When Shane and I watched the recording of the class together, he highlighted one instance in which several students were watching the group of us participate in an activity. They’re so fascinated! . . . And I totally relate to them because when I was a sixth grader, whenever people were in college, they were just…the pinnacles of humanity. [chuckles] . . . I remember when I lived in our old house, back when I was in preschool is what it was, me and my neighbor would always play games. And then we would make up our characters, like, “Oh, I’m Ricky Tough Guy,” and stuff like that. [laughs] But we would always be 19 years old. I don’t know what was so cool about being 19. And I’m turning 19 in March, so I’m gonna be the pinnacle of what I thought was awesome. [laughter] (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017) Shane equated the students’ interest in our presence with the way he and his friends had once admired those older than themselves, which allowed him to relate, on some level, to the students he observed. The Cha-Cha Slide activity that Mrs. B incorporated for the students at Martindale School was one that many of those participants found meaningful. Immediately following her poll of the students’ feelings about the activity, she posed two questions to the class. “Why do you think we did the Cha-Cha Slide? What connections can you make between that and things we’ve been doing or talking about in music class?” (Mrs. B, Observation Video Recording, October 27, 2017). Katie felt strongly—and positively—about this aspect of the Cha-Cha Slide activity’s conclusion. She recognized that, as a child, she valued connections and that Mrs. B was helping her students make those same types of connections 129 purposefully in her teaching. In that moment, she made a connection between what she observed and her younger self. Aha, connections! My favorite word. I just like kids having that moment where things that they… For me, when I was younger I used to make these weird abstract connections to things. And people would be like, “What are you talking about?” And I’m just saying, “But it makes sense!” I feel like with kids, when you say to them, “Let's make this connection,” then they make a connection, and it works in some sort of realm. Having you say, “Yes, I can see where you're going with that,” and the kid being like, "Yay, I made a connection!" I feel like the inner kid in me is saying, I'm just so glad that those kids get to make connections for them, that make sense. (Katie, RTA, November 9, 2017) As someone who naturally made connections between concepts and experiences throughout her life, Katie was thrilled to see Mrs. B create an opportunity for students to consider connections. Additionally, this response during Katie’s think-aloud interview provided me with new insight into her choice to become a music educator. For two participants, the observation of their own personal characteristics or musical backgrounds reflected in the teacher was meaningful. In her interpretation of Mrs. B’s approach to student engagement and conflict resolution, Sasha saw herself in what she observed. I loved how passive she was. … when she would get upset with bad behavior, she just indirectly was like, "Well, some people aren't doing what they're supposed to." And I thought that was so funny, but it got the point across. I've always been called Seeing Self Reflected in Teacher 130 passive-aggressive because I don't like confrontation, and so I say things kind of indirectly. [chuckles] (Sasha, RTA, November 6, 2017) Sasha felt that, in addressing students’ off-task behaviors calmly and without identifying individual students in each instance, Mrs. B’s approach was passive and indirect. She perceived this as a similarity between herself and Mrs. B, which ultimately contributed a great deal to Sasha’s vision of herself as a music educator. I will explore this further in Chapter 7. Shane also was able to see an important aspect of his musical identity reflected in Ms. Shore who, in addition to teaching kindergarten general music classes at Davidson Primary School, was a songwriter and performer in a band. Having written songs and performed in popular music contexts outside of his traditional school music ensembles, Shane saw his diverse musical backgrounds and interests in Ms. Shore. Additionally, as he noted her “professional level” (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017) musicianship in relation to a powerful experience involving his elementary general music, he was able to observe her incorporating songs she had written for her students. Being able to see himself reflected in Ms. Shore in these ways may have contributed to the transformative aspects of this observation experience for him. As the participants made observations about the students, the teacher of the class they observed, and student-teacher interactions, they made connections that were unique to their prior personal experiences. These connections served to support further what they observed or, in some cases, provide explanation as to why something they noticed was unfamiliar. While the connections the participants made were specific to each of them as individuals, this process of making meaning was a shared experience. 131 In a K-12 Classroom Prior Professional Experiences Within Olsen’s (2008) model of teacher identity, prior professional experiences include formal, inservice teaching as well as any experience working with children. The participants, preservice music teachers in a music teacher education program, had no formal experience as the sole teacher in a classroom context. However, many had opportunities to work with students in school settings as student leaders or as a part of a job or extracurricular activity. In this section, I will highlight the various connections the participants made between what they observed and their prior professional experiences, both in and out of K-12 school contexts. For the participants who had worked with students in a K-12 classroom, whether in a music or general education setting, they brought valuable experiences with them to the classroom. These experiences informed their interactions with students in the field as well as how they processed what they observed. The time that Rebecca had spent in her mother’s classroom shaped her expectations for the behaviors of the students she observed, which the Davidson Primary School kindergarteners quickly dispelled. Because I think a lot of times when kids are comfortable with their teacher, they tend to hide behind them—just something that I've observed from being in younger kid classrooms. Like being in my mom's [preschool] classroom, I see students hide behind her all the time. Physically. . . [However, in Ms. Shore’s classroom,] they didn't hide behind her, but they also were comfortable enough going up to her and talking to her, leaving their friends to say something to her, or to sing to her and 132 then go right back to singing with their friends. They were just able to make that switch, and that just kind of blew my mind. (Rebecca, RTA, November 13, 2017) What Rebecca observed from the students in Ms. Shore’s class did not match the interactions she had with the preschool students in her mother’s classroom, specifically their social interactions with one another and Ms. Shore. This disruption to her preconceptions both shocked her and provided her with new perspective on the social development of students in early childhood. Though Shane’s mother also was a preschool teacher, he admittedly had spent no time in her classroom. It was his experiences as the brass captain of his high school marching band that informed Shane’s response to the kindergarten student who became enamored with him during our observation in the field. In elaborating on this experience and why it made him uncomfortable, Shane explained that he had observed the student “punching his [own] head, which he recognized as an indicator that the student might have had special needs. I was like, "Oh, what should we do?" Is it normal for this guy to do this? Or is our presence causing him to, all of a sudden, lash out at himself or have some sort of episode or something? . . . That was kinda the same situation here. I didn't know... It just made me anxious in all aspects. Not him scooting close and everything, because that's all fine. Not knowing what to do made me anxious, is what it was. (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017) As Shane experienced this interaction in the field, he made a connection to episodes for which he felt ill prepared during his time as a section leader. There also was the added 133 Extracurricular Activities and Part-Time Jobs concern for Shane of not knowing what, given our role as visitors in the classroom, was appropriate for him to do if the student sat in his lap. Some of the participants drew from their experiences working with students in various contexts, music- and non-music related, outside of K-12 schools to understand their observations or responses to what they noticed in the field. Shane, who was shocked initially by the kindergarten students in Ms. Shore’s classroom, referenced an extracurricular activity to explain his reaction: “I'm not used to kids this young, that's for sure. With Boy Scouts, the lowest I've ever gone is sixth grade, so I'm very, very comfortable with middle schoolers and high schoolers” (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017). While his various leadership positions in Boy Scouts led to a comfort with secondary students, he was “not used to kids this young” (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017). In contrast to Shane’s initial reactions at Davidson Primary School, Marcellus felt as though he was in a familiar setting for his observation at Martindale School. He made a brief—albeit informative to my understanding of his observation experience—connection to prior professional experiences as the other participants and I stood up to leave. As I crossed the room to grab the camera and tripod, I noticed Katie talking to Mrs. B while Leon, Sasha, and Tobias chatted as they made their way to the door. Leon put on his jacket and headed for the door in my direction. He smiled at me and shook his head a little and said in a matter-of-fact way, “This is just like Math Brigade.” “Yeah? How so?” I asked. “Oh—everything.” 134 The total exchange was less than thirty seconds, but he listed off a few similarities for me. “The attitudes, the constant reminders of expectations, that need for motivation,” I think is the wording he used. He spoke it like he was a teacher at a conference, when all of your teacher friends get together and complain about the students before someone says, “But they can’t help it because…” or “But it’s worth it because…” and you all nod or laugh because no one else understands the work you do. That sort of veteran teacher interaction is what I felt we were having in that moment. (Fieldnotes, October 27, 2017) Having worked as a tutor for an afterschool math program and attended schools in an area with demographics similar to Martindale School, the students’ actions did not faze Marcellus. As a result, his observations throughout the class tended to center on Mrs. B’s responses to and interactions with the students. Katie saw some of the classroom interactions through the lens of her past experience as a camp counselor. She initially found Layla intimidating as a result of receiving a few stares but tried to understand the “why” behind what she observed from Layla. There had been a miscommunication between the classroom teacher and Mrs. B about the regularly scheduled music class, which some participants believed might be a contributing factor. It could be that she didn't wanna go to this class ‘cause it was supposed to be their Fun Friday. So that's what I was thinking about. I was like, “She probably doesn't wanna be there.” Or maybe it's not that she doesn't wanna be there, it's just that she was expecting the Fun Friday, and this wasn’t what she was expecting. A last-minute change of plans for kids who need that consistency and that's what they expect in 135 their day… ‘cause you don't know where these kids are coming from, so school is the only thing for them that could be structured. You know when things are happening, so when that gets disrupted—I’ve seen that happen with kids where they just get freaked out from the change. (Katie, RTA, November 9, 2017) From her response to this moment in the observation video, in which Layla joined the group after arriving visibly upset after the start of class, I sensed that Katie had witnessed students’ reactions to change in some context. Upon asking where she had “seen that happen with kids” (Katie, RTA, November 9, 2017), she expounded: At camp. There's certain kids, it's usually the kids with special needs or the campers with special needs, that we had that needed to eat at the exact same time, and they needed to do these special activities instead of what the other kids did. They tie- dyed every day because they couldn't deal with that change, 'cause that was scary for them, but that was mostly kids with special needs or kids from those families that they needed that structure from. . . That’s why I thought that might be the case with [Layla] because the similar attitude of trying to get attention or being like, "This is not where I wanna be," . . . that could be because of a change of routine. 'Cause that's what I noticed a lot at camp, these kids who, if you took them to lunch a half hour late, they would be AWOL the whole rest of the day, you know? (Katie, RTA, November 9, 2017) Katie identified similar characteristics between Layla’s behaviors and some of the children who had reacted poorly to a change in routine at the summer camp for which she was a counselor. This connection led her to consider that there could be a similar rationale behind Layla’s behaviors. 136 Leon also made a connection between something he noticed in Mrs. B’s teaching and his experience teaching piano at a summer music camp. In response to an instance in the observation video of Mrs. B giving small, textured, silicone balls to students for things such as providing a correct answer, demonstrating model behavior, or making a change from being off-task to active participation, Leon shared that he had employed a similar tactic with his students. Incentives, the little balls, letting them have jobs as a helper, and then she was like, “I’ll bring candy next week,” or things like that, I really noticed because this summer I did the small music camp, and I taught kids piano in that same age group. I told them, “Okay, whoever can come back and play this song perfectly by tomorrow, I’ll bring y’all some candy.” And I had parents come up to me and tell me, “What did you tell my child? She was up all night practicing piano. She had me helping her, trying to get this song perfect.” (Leon, RTA, November 6, 2017) Because the use of incentive had been motivating for his students, Leon identified with and was affirmed by Mrs. B’s implementation of incentives and rewards. Through their prior work with children of various ages in school settings, through extracurricular activities, and in association with part-time jobs, the participants were able to connect a part of their experiences to the realities of an actual K-12 school music classroom. Whereas the previous two sections highlighted the connections that the participants made to their pasts, this section will address how these preservice music teachers connected what they observed in the field to their present. I considered the present to be their present professional environment, which was the undergraduate music teacher The Present: Teacher Education Experience 137 MUE 101: The Philosophy Wall and Student-Centered Classrooms education program at this university. According to Olsen (2008), teacher education experience is one facet of teacher identity development, which the participants referenced as they made connections to their current—at the time of this study—coursework. They made connections to teacher education classes, specifically to MUE 101 discussions and assignments, as well as their ear training classes. From the beginning of the semester through the completion of each participant’s think-aloud interview, I assigned readings on various topics in music education. These topics included student-teacher relationships, music teacher identity, social class, gender and gender identity, sexual orientation, race and ethnicity, special education, education policy, socialization, student-centered teaching, culturally responsive pedagogy, and “othering.” Each reading informed the discussions for each class meeting, and the projects over the course of the semester challenged students to explore their beliefs about music education. For the purposes of this study, I considered only assignments from the beginning of the semester until the initial field-observation experience. Katie’s response to the “Cha-Cha Slide” activity in Mrs. B’s classroom reminded her of an aspect of her philosophy of music education that she identified through completing one of the course assignments. At the start of the Fall 2017 semester in MUE 101, the first homework assignment was to complete their first “Philosophy Wall.” My intent for this assignment was that the preservice music teachers would begin to examine what they believe about music teaching and learning as well as what they find important and valuable within music education. For the Philosophy Wall assignment, the MUE 101 students were given a blank philosophy wall (five rows of empty rectangles positioned to emulate bricks 138 that form a wall) and a list of statements that represent a wide variety of beliefs about the value of music. The preservice music teachers placed the statements on the wall so that those on the bottom expressed the foundation of their beliefs and values. There were more statements provided than spaces on the wall, and students were encouraged to amend the statements or create their own to better reflect their personal philosophy. Katie amended the statement, “All styles of music have validity within the music curriculum,” by replacing the first word: “Most styles of music have validity within the music curriculum.” She placed this statement on the fourth row from the bottom of her Philosophy Wall. When she observed the Cha-Cha Slide activity in Mrs. B’s class, she thought of her choice to include the statement on her wall. That reminded me of the first week of school where we talked about incorporating music that wasn't commonplace in the classroom, and it was in those values tables that we did. You remember? [Becky: The Philosophy Wall assignment?] Yeah, and that's what I immediately thought of... ‘Cause that was one of my values—all music should be considered in that, especially because these kids don't listen to classical music. Some of them might, but having something where they're like, "Oh, I know this song. I've done this before," and having that familiarity is also tied in part with their identity. … And I just feel like it's a lot warmer as soon as she was like, "Alright, we're gonna do the Cha-Cha Slide." (Katie, RTA, November 9, 2017) In making this connection, Katie was able to see one aspect of her philosophy enacted through classroom practices. Additionally, her consideration of the relationship between music and students’ identities might have been shaped by the focus in MUE 101 on the 139 various components that comprise someone’s identity and the role that music plays in identity construction. Based upon Rebecca’s observations, the MUE 101 discussions of student-centered teaching influenced how she viewed Ms. Shore’s classroom. The consideration of student- centered teaching emerged not only in the class meeting dedicated to the topic but throughout other conversations as a frame for considering the students we teach. In her observation reflection, Rebecca identified three instances that she described as student- centered or contributing to “a student-centered classroom setting” (Rebecca, Observation Reflection, October 26, 2017). Her attention to centeredness also emerged in the think- aloud interview process, during a transition between activities. I think it was really cool how she was trying to make it a student-centered classroom but also leading them and guiding them. Because they are definitely too young to form their own, not necessarily opinions, but form their own ideals about this kind of stuff. (Rebecca, RTA, November 13, 2017) Each of these instances involved student agency, as students were able to choose how they would participate or who would participate next in certain activities. Rebecca related the students’ opportunity to make decisions regarding their participation or the activities themselves as student-centered practices. Participants at both observation sites noticed activities in the classroom that required similar skills from the students as what is expected from music majors in their ear training courses. As I explored in Chapter 5 when presenting Rebecca and Shane’s unknowing identification of Music Learning Theory activities, Shane responded to Ms. It’s Basically What We Do in Ear Training 140 Shores use of multiple tonalities and meters throughout the class. “It’s basically what we do in ear training class except without the game” (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017). Both Shane and Rebecca observed MLT activities designed to develop the students’ ability to audiate and then sing the resting tone, or tonic, after hearing a melody. It’s like that stuff we do in sight singing, and I just think starting at a young age is really good, ‘cause I have never had any kind of training like this at all, so I was behind in ear training. Everyone else is, “Oh yeah, I know how to do this musical memory thing.” (Rebecca, RTA, November 13, 2017) Beyond simply noticing this aspect of the activities, she had a newly found appreciation for their value, not having had similar experiences in her K-12 schooling. Similarly, making a connection between what she observed in Mrs. B’s classroom and her current experiences in ear training class left Sasha reflecting upon the value of what the students were learning. “It still amazes me how they don’t realize how important the skills that they’re learning are, because we’re doing that stuff in [ear training] now— we’re in college, and I’m struggling [laughs]” (Sasha, RTA, November 6, 2017). The participants’ connections to MUE 101 allowed them an opportunity to see theoretical concepts in process, as their connections to ear training class shaped their beliefs both about the value of helping students develop certain musical skills and the age at which students can apply those skills. Olsen (2008) claims that “people are products of their social histories” (p. 24) and that teachers continually “collapse the past present, and future” (p. 24) in the process of developing their identities. Throughout the observation experience, the participants’ 141 Summary developing teacher identities intersected with their observations in the field as they drew upon their past experiences and present context to make meaning of what they noticed. Prior personal experiences related to their observations with regard to family influence, comparisons to their K-12 school experience, remembering themselves from childhood, and seeing certain aspects of themselves reflected in the teacher. The participants’ prior work with children, both in and outside of school contexts, also connected to their observations, as it provided them confirming or conflicting expectations for the students they observed. In addition to these past experiences, the participants also made connections to classes within the music teacher education program, including MUE 101, the case for this study, and ear training classes. Participants drew from musical and nonmusical aspects of their teacher identities (as described by Olsen, 2008) as they made meaning of what they observed, which suggests that experiences must not be content-specific to be meaningful or beneficial in interpreting classroom observations. Among the three components of teacher identity to which the participants made connections, prior personal experiences were the most salient, specifically those instances in which they remembered themselves as children. In applying Olsen’s (2008) model of teaching to the identity development of preservice music teachers, who have yet to enter the profession formally and are in the early stages of the teacher education program, the act of remembering themselves as children may be a valuable entry point for music teacher educators. 142 CHAPTER 7: ENVISIONING SELF AS TEACHER Olsen’s (2008) components of teacher identity “are intertwined and continually loop back and forth to influence each other in mutually constitutive ways” (p. 23). That influence became apparent as participants drew from their experiences prior to entering the teacher education program and their observations in the field to envision themselves as teachers. The act of envisioning themselves as teachers emerged during the retrospective think- aloud process, indicating that the participants began to navigate some aspect of their future (being a music educator) and their present (taking their first formal steps following the decision to pursue music education) as a result of the field-observation experience. In response to the observation experience, the participants considered the contexts in which they might teach in the future or found connection to the reasons they had chosen music education as their future career. In this chapter, I attempt to capture the “mutually constitutive” (Olsen, 2008, p. 23) relationship between several components of their teacher identities, including prior personal experiences, reasons for entry (deciding to become a music educator), career plans (envisioning themselves as teachers), and teacher education experience (their initial field-observation experience as a part of MUE 101). I highlight the ways in which the participants envisioned themselves as teachers as a result of their observation experiences, which also involved drawing from their prior personal experiences. Two subthemes emerged from my analysis: (1) the decision to teach and (2) finding the right fit. The MUE 101 observation experience inspired, to varying degrees for each participant, an exploration of each participant’s decision to teach or consideration of the context in which they might teach, both of which play important roles in teacher identity. 143 Lifestyle Considerations and Concerns Making meaning of the field observation experience entailed, for some of the participants, revisiting their own reasons for choosing to enter the profession. This often involved sharing some of their and others’ concerns about their future as a music educator. Similarly, the act of observing an actual K-12 music classroom led some to describe the challenges they faced when deciding to major in music education and their beliefs about the challenges that they will face in the profession. Because the participants were in their first semester as undergraduate music education majors, some were still navigating what being a music educator might mean for their futures. They often drew from their prior personal experiences to reconcile some aspect of their decision or a fear for their future. These participants identified both internal and external contributors to this process. Starting and supporting a family. As a result of their observations, Sasha and Shane considered how being a music teacher might interact with their starting a family in the future and their overall quality of life. Though Shane was still navigating these concerns, the observation experience provided him with a positive perspective on his professional future, as he noted, “This really made me realize how much I am going to enjoy my job” (Shane, Observation Reflection, October 24, 2017). Having read this statement in his observation reflection, I was surprised at the extent to which he was navigating the conflict in his teacher identity between the confidence he had expressed in his decision to become a music educator and the concerns he had about his life in the future as a result of that decision. The Decision to Teach 144 During the think-aloud interview process, it became clear that Shane was considering what his personal life might be like in the future as a result of his career choice to be a music teacher. One moment in the video, in which he commented on Ms. Shore’s “professional-level” (Shane, Retrospective Think-Aloud [RTA], November 15, 2017) musicianship, sparked his own thinking about how he might navigate his interests in music outside of the Western canon—something Ms. Shore was doing through her professional songwriting and performing career. This began a series of thoughts in which he considered his own future. Shane came from an affluent family, and he feared that a teacher’s salary might make him unable to provide his children with the same opportunities that he and his brothers had been afforded. We have a lot of money, but we spend it only on travel. So I don't wanna put my kids in a situation where I can't do the things my parents have done for me and my brothers. … I've been all over the place, I've had the opportunity to do all of these things simply because my mom and dad both have a lot of money. (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017) Sasha also was navigating a struggle concerning her career choice, because her voice teacher was encouraging her to be a performer rather than a teacher. However, she believed that the lifestyle of a teacher was better suited to her personal goals. I’m struggling right now because my voice teacher is like, “You need to be a performance major.” So she’s actively telling me to be a performance major. And I always wanted to perform—I can never see myself not performing, but I feel like I couldn’t handle that high stress, not knowing…and my life plan is I wanna get 145 married, and I wanna have children, like right now. [laughs] And performing is not family conducive. (Sasha, RTA, November 6, 2017) Sasha shared these thoughts after seeing some similarities between Mrs. B and herself during a hectic moment at the start of the ukulele portion of the class. In response, she described how she never thought she would see herself teaching younger students but that she felt she might be a good fit for a similar environment of upper elementary general music. She jokingly referred to high school choral ensembles as “too high-caliber,” which transitioned to the discussion of a performer’s lifestyle. Her desire to start a family, an aspect she intertwined with her career goals, contributed to her reasons for entry into the field of music education. Both Shane and Sasha used their former music teachers as models for how they envisioned their own lives would be in the future. Sasha felt confident that being a music educator would not prevent her from performing in the future. I’m trying to combine [performing and teaching], because I feel like I can teach and still be in a choir. I can still audition to be a soloist at something. Do musical theater. ‘Cause my director did that, and we have the longest-running symphony that’s in the area, I think. (Sasha, RTA, November 6, 2017) However, Shane’s perceptions of his former music teachers’ lives left him uncertain as to how he would have a family and whether he ultimately would be happy. After he shared during our interview that his observation experience at Davidson Primary School made him consider elementary general music as a “legitimate option” (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017), he continued talking about other aspects of his future teacher self. Shane thought about the lives of music educators in his own school experiences as well as 146 those in the surrounding area as he tried to understand these aspects of his future. What he witnessed from his high school band directors increased his concerns about his future quality of life. I would put my future kids and my future family before wanting to be a teacher. Because, obviously, I'd get money as a teacher and all that, but...like my band director. My one band director, he's like 30 and he never married or anything. He's just kinda like a single guy, and he's also a little poor, I suppose; he's just kinda miserable. [chuckles] That's the best way to explain it. And our assistant band director, he had two heart attacks and then a divorce. Then he finally quit and said, "I don't like teaching music. I don't like teaching in general and being a music teacher." (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017) Yet, Shane also was able to identify music educators who had been professionally successful as well as seemingly happy. I've seen music teachers in my area that are married. Even my—probably the most influential guy—my middle school band teacher. He's kinda like a hidden gem of my old school system, I suppose, 'cause he's super renowned for his music education work and whatnot, and drum corps work as well. But yeah, he has a family, but I don't know—hearing him talk about it, he seems to have a pretty happy life. And then there's this other teacher who's married to another music teacher in our area, and they seem to have a happy life. (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017) Still, Shane was certain he was destined to struggle as a result of his choice to become a music educator. 147 Yeah, literally everything has been against me [in making the decision to be a music teacher]—I won't make money to support my future family. Well, I'll support them, but they won't have the opportunities that I have had with my family. I will most likely hate my life, [chuckles] I suppose, because that's what all those guys do, and I'm most likely not...the family thing might not even come into play because I might not even be able to start a family, or my family might split apart, which would be even worse, I suppose, if I have kids. … Yeah, I’m setting myself up for a shitty life. (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017) In considering his upcoming observations and the rest of his time in the music education program, Shane expressed an interest in speaking with male music teachers who were married and had families so that he could “ask them a couple of questions and get insight on that topic” (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017) Despite navigating these concerns, Shane still felt that field observation, as well as his experiences in MUE, had left him feeling positively: “This really made me realize how much I am going to enjoy my job” (Shane, Observation Reflection, October 24, 2017). Perceptions of job security. For Leon, the experience of observing Mrs. B’s general music class brought up many aspects of his decision to become a music educator. As an African-American who attended predominantly White schools, he felt in the minority both with regard to race and, within the minority community, in his choice to pursue a music education degree. His observations about the racial demographics of the Mrs. B’s class led him to address other issues of race in music education. And I think a reason why you don't see a lot of people of minority going into music... It's interesting, yesterday, for the BPR, the Black Power Rally, a young lady that I 148 was performing with, she was surprised that I was a music major... And I said, "Why?" She said, "I don't really see a lot of really good singers go into music." And that kind of struck me. … Look at job security, that's really big in the minority community. You say, "Okay. I'm gonna go to college for something where I know I could make some money. Something that I know I'll be able to provide for my family" because the odds are already stacked against you. You think, “I'm not about to jump into something that's not guaranteed.” (Leon, RTA, November 6, 2017). This interaction was not an isolated incident for Leon, even during the few months he had been in college, which he shared as he continued: ‘Cause I hear all the time when I tell people, “I’m a music major,” first thing they say is, “What are you going to do with that?” … And I've met several people on campus already—my African-American friends who are phenomenal singers, who should be in the College of Music, and who would express to me how much they love music, how they should be in the College of Music. But guess what? They're not doing it because they need to do something that they know they can get a job at, and they can make some bank. I keep hearing that time and time again. It's crazy. (Leon, RTA, November 6, 2017) These experiences in his present, while in the teacher education program, caused him both to justify his reasons for entry into music education and defend what the choice held for his future, highlighting a relationship between two components of his teacher identity that he communicated through the think-aloud process. Yet, Leon saw the issue of job security in his future profession as no different from any other profession. 149 Representation: No Teachers Who “Look Like Me” My thing is, “Okay. What are you gonna do with your degree? Your job isn’t promised to you, either.” You look at some of the stats of, say, lawyers who actually…everybody wants to work for the big law firm, but that doesn’t happen. It’s the same everywhere. You just have to kind of make your own path and…it’s difficult, but you do kinda have to take what’s given to you or plow your own road. (Leon, RTA, November 6, 2017) The racial diversity that Leon noted within Mrs. B’s classroom during the think-aloud interview process contrasted with the realities of collegiate music education and the music education profession, both of which are predominantly White (Elpus, 2015). Considerations of representation within the music education profession emerged from the observation experience for both Leon and Marcellus. Their prior personal experiences combined with an observation that they made in the field to intersect with their envisioning of themselves as teachers: representation with regard to race and sexual orientation. While observing at Martindale School, Leon noticed Mrs. B’s incorporation of a hip- hop song into the lesson and a related poll that she took of how the students felt about the activity to a moment in his own elementary general music experiences. As a child in his elementary general class, he at one point felt pressured to claim that he liked rap music because he believed it was expected of him as an African-American student. In recounting that prior event, which was a response to his observation of the poll Mrs. B took of the students, Leon transitioned to another prior experience that had influenced his decision to become a music educator and one that spoke to being in the racial minority. He had been 150 the only person of color in his elementary music class and later, as a high-school student, became involved in his school in discussions about racial diversity within the teaching profession. …Even back in my high school, I used to go in some of the leadership meetings with the staff and things like that, and we'd talk about diversity on the staff. [Becky: Specifically, racial diversity?] Yeah. … There's one African-American woman on staff and one Asian man, the rest is all White. But the principal said to me…, "We'd love to have more diversity, but we can only hire who applies." … Well, if you look at who's applying to the music programs, it's predominantly white people. It’s perpetuating itself. (Leon, RTA, November 6, 2017) Though he acknowledged the absence of teachers of color in his own K-12 For some people, if you don't see teachers and people in professions who look like you, you can't really see yourself being one of those. And see, my thing is, I come from a family that's, like I said, very big on purpose. So one of our favorite—or one phrase that my dad said to me awhile back is, "If God provides the vision, He will also provide the provision." So, you're not gonna have a vision and no way to accomplish it. And so, even though I didn't necessarily have a lot of role models that look like me in this field, if I know what my vision is, if I know where I'm going, then I don't really have anything to worry about. And obviously, everybody doesn't have that kind of thing embedded inside of them that says, "No matter what it looks like, I know where I'm going, so I'm gonna go after it." (Leon, RTA, November 6, 2017) education, he felt that his upbringing and faith played a role in his success. 151 Leon, despite being grounded in these beliefs, predicted that his future would not be without its difficulties as a Black man in a predominantly white field: “I definitely have a lot of challenges facing me … But once I overcome a couple of things, I’m gonna be alright for sure” (Leon, RTA, November 6, 2017). Leon’s sharing came as the result of one connection he made between a strategy he observed Mrs. B use and a prior personal experience in which he felt stereotyped due to his race. He felt comfortable enough to disclose the many aspects of his identity that he was navigating, including his decision to become a music educator as well as being in the racial minority within the music education profession. The depth and gravity of what he disclosed suggests that, for preservice music teachers of color, teacher identity development may not be considered holistically unless it accounts for other identity markers, such as race, as well. Marcellus, in his Personal Narrative, had acknowledged that a lack of male teachers of color in his K-12 experiences both affected him personally, to the extent that he believed at one point in his life that only women could be teachers. This motivated him professionally. Because Mrs. B was a White female music educator, Marcellus’s observation experience did not provide him an opportunity to observe a teacher of color in the classroom; however, he was able to see his sexual orientation reflected in Mrs. B. Knowing that…kind of going in like, “Okay, is this someone—a woman—who is married to woman and is doing the thing. It was kind of inspiring. I think that’s another reason why I really like this class. I got to see…She’s a normal person just like everybody else, and she’s really doing her job well. It was very inspiring. (Marcellus, RTA, November 6, 2017) 152 Finding the Right Fit Seeing a fellow member of the LGBTQ community being successful in the classroom was powerful for Marcellus. Given his K-12 background, this observation experience was familiar and comfortable in many ways for Marcellus that it was not for his peers, specifically with regard to the demographics of the classroom and the observations he made about the students. Observing a teacher who represented his sexuality, however, left him feeling inspired and able to envision himself as a successful music educator. Researchers have found that high school ensemble directors tend to be the strongest influence on students’ decisions to become music teachers (Bergee, 1992; Bergee et al., 2001; Cox, 1997; Fredrickson & Williams, 2009; Jones & Parkes, 2010; Kelly, 2010; Madsen & Kelly, 2002; Rickels et al., 2010; Schonauer, 2002; Thornton & Bergee, 2008) and that the majority of undergraduate music education majors envision themselves teaching high school ensembles after graduation (Bergee et al., 2001; Frederickson & Williams, 2009; Hellman, 2008). As discussed in Chapter 3, the music education faculty at this university designed the MUE 101 field experiences so that preservice music teachers see music teaching and learning contexts that are different from those they have most commonly and recently experienced. This is intended, in part, to “disrupt” students’ conceptions of music education and, possibly, where they might see themselves within the music teaching profession. During and following the observation experience, many of the participants envisioned their possible futures as they considered the teaching context, or contexts, for which they felt best suited or in which they felt the most comfortable. These considerations included the ages of students with which they would like to work as well as the type of 153 Influenced by What They Noticed During the Field-Observation Experience school or geographical area in which they could imagine themselves teaching. The participants discussed four main factors that informed their thinking about where they might teach: (1) what they noticed during the field-observation experience; (2) personal characteristics; (3) prior conceptions of students; and (4) a parent who was an educator. The observations participants made in the field influenced their thought processes as they envisioned themselves as teachers. For some, these thought processes involved considering the factors that some may consider in making a decision regarding their future teaching context. For others, what they observed either reinforced or disrupted the context in which they envisioned themselves teaching. After observing the fifth- and sixth-grade general music class at Martindale School, Leon, who had attended predominantly white, suburban schools, found himself wrestling with his conception about the way in which teachers decide upon the context in which they want to teach. Particularly he thought about how he believed music educators like himself, in the racial minority, might approach the decision of where to teach. I think a lot of times, as a music educator, you say, "Oh man, we're gonna go back to the inner-city communities and we're gonna help." But when we're searching for schools or whatnot, that's not the first thing on our list. The first thing on our list is, "Okay, okay. Where can I go where I'm gonna be comfortable? Where can I go where I can make a good living, have a nice...start a family, do whatever?" And that's where we wanna go, so we wanna go somewhere where we locked in, we're all good, we set to go. Not, "Okay, let me go somewhere where I can really get immersed in a 154 community that may not have access to a diverse range of music—or even music at all." (Leon, RTA, November 6, 2017) Yet, having observed at Martindale School, where Mrs. B provided the first music experiences to the students in three years, Leon expressed passion for students having access to music education: “In some ways, teaching is like missionary work. We have to serve those communities” (Leon, Group Interview, April 22, 2018). This sentiment, a dissenting voice from what he believed others might think, captures his beliefs about his reasons for entry into the profession as well as his philosophical beliefs about music teaching. Based upon what they noticed during the observation, some participants felt reinforced in their beliefs about where they might teach, while others experienced a disruption to their vision. Sasha shared her reaction as soon as we left Mrs. B’s classroom, in which she noticed a constant need to address issues of student engagement. I…feel like this is my environment. I loved that. I feel like discipline is something that I could do, but in a positive manner, because I can be constructive with discipline. Well, behavior correction. My mom, she’s a high school math teacher, and we’re very similar. She works with lower-level math—the students that struggle, and she thrives in that environment. And I feel like people who aren’t 100% the most ready for math, or in music, who aren’t as engaged…who have the extra struggle—to encourage them? I feel like that’s something I would love to do. (Sasha, Audio Recording, October 27, 2017) Sasha was surprised by how much she enjoyed and could envision herself in a setting similar to Mrs. B’s general music class at Martindale School. 155 When I walked into this school, I was not expecting to have this be my area of interest. I have always been dead set on conducting a Middle School or High School Level Choir. After leaving this observation, I realized this actually might fit me better. The idea that it is not only about music, but rather teaching students manners and discipline is something that I think I would be good at. In addition to that the fast moving pace and need for a multitasking brain really fits me well. I also would love to create the important first steps in a young student’s music career, because again, this level of education is very important to the future of musicians. (Sasha, Observation Reflection, October 29, 2017) Sasha described the process of coming to the realization that she might be a good fit for the type of environment in which she observed. I made a mental list of what I wanted to look for. Most of it was centered around diversity and teacher-student interactions as far as participation. And I was thinking, “This is elementary. I’m not expecting much, but I also don’t remember that much of my elementary school experience.” I knew I wanted to do the choir. I was like, “Choir is everything.” [laughs] And then I sat there, and I was putting myself in the teacher’s situation. (Sasha, RTA, November 6, 2017) It was through picturing herself as the teacher during the observation that Sasha ultimately came to envision herself teaching in a similar setting in the future. I was thinking, "I would do this, I would do this," and I was like, "This is coming more naturally to me than me standing in front of a choir conducting," and I realized I have a very here-and-there attention span. And so with a class like this especially, I would thrive on trying to listen to all these conversations, trying to interpret the 156 body language, interpret the conversations between students. So it's not something that I thought of myself doing, but then after experiencing it, I was like, “I would work well in that atmosphere, that very fast-paced environment.” (Sasha, RTA, November 6, 2017) It may have been the fact that Sasha felt successful as she placed herself in the teacher’s role as well as her identification of similar characteristics between herself and Mrs. B that contributed to the strong influence the field-observation experience had upon her vision of herself as a music educator. Tobias, who was good friends with Sasha, also observed at Martindale School and also entered into the field observation thinking that he would like to teach high school choral music. Remember when [the Field Placement Coordinator] talked about, “Keep your mind open” because a lot of people come in with this strict idea, "I'm gonna teach this grade level, and this?” … Sasha and I both came here thinking, “Oh, high school level and, obviously, probably voice, 'cause we’re voice majors. (Tobias, RTA, November 7, 2017) There were several aspects of the observation experience in Mrs. B’s classroom that confirmed Tobias’s belief that he wanted to work with older students, but the ukulele portion of the class had the strongest effect. For me, I think that was a moment where I was like, "I don't think this is my environment." I think I'd get too...Mrs. B’s obviously got it down; she knows what she's doing. But the very specific techniques she has to keep putting into play to just to get attention and to teach…I feel like could easily get someone to lose their 157 Influence of Personal Characteristics patience. [Becky: Do you mean for the teacher to lose their patience?] Yeah, with just a crowd of strumming. And I think that was the same moment—like for Sasha, it was, "Oh, I think I could do this!" And for me, I think it just reaffirmed my want for a higher level, like high school. (Tobias, RTA, November 7, 2017) Sasha and Tobias both noticed the nature of the student-teacher reactions in Mrs. B’s classroom, which they attributed to the teaching context. With this information, Sasha felt she was well suited to teach in that type of context, while Tobias felt affirmed in his desire to teach at the high school level. For some of the participants, there were personal characteristics that they felt contributed to their fit, or lack thereof, in a certain context. The participants considered these characteristics in prior personal and professional experiences, which informed their rationale for where they could or could not envision themselves teaching. Katie felt that her perfectionism and need for control as a student would translate to her approach in the classroom, which led her to believe that teaching in a context similar to the one in which she observed would be a poor fit. I'm very conflicted because middle school might be—I don't think it's my thing, but I wouldn't know 'cause I haven't taught in a middle school classroom—but this finicky age is really scary for me. So I went into this classroom and I was thinking, "I know this is gonna be scary for me 'cause in middle school...” I was the kid who was always the first chair in band, or the kid who would’ve said, "No, your ukulele needs to be this way," being the reasoning voice to the chaos that was going on. So I feel like as a teacher it would just be like very triggering to go back to that and be 158 like…”Aaaaah!” [shakes hands in front of self while “screaming,” then laughs] (Katie, RTA, November 9, 2017) While she felt that teaching in middle school could be an unhealthy environment for her because she would not handle the environment or the students’ needs well, Katie believed that her personality would make her successful in a setting with younger students: “…I just love little kids and I love…I think I work really well—my energy level—with little kids 'cause they just take to it really well” (Katie, RTA, November 9, 2017). Rebecca had spent time in her mother’s preschool classroom and, despite being comfortable engaging with the kindergarteners in Ms. Shore’s music class, she was confident that teaching young children was not a fit for her. She felt that her ways of interacting with others would not work well in an elementary music setting. I think it comes from having siblings—I am not the biggest fan of children, I'm really not. That [observation] was a great amount of time for me to be like, "Yes, I can deal... " But every single day with those kids...[shakes head] It's exhausting, and I just don't have that mindset. I'm not wired to be able to take care of kids. (Rebecca, RTA, November 13, 2017) In the same way that Rebecca felt she inherently was not a fit for an elementary classroom, Sasha felt that her “multitasking brain” (Sasha, RTA, November 6, 2017) could work well in a setting similar to the one she observed: “I love keeping my focus on different things. That’s why I think this kind of elementary might be a place that I would be interested in” (Sasha, RTA, November 6, 2017). Prior to the observation, Shane had experienced concern about his decision to pursue a career as a music teacher. While I was unaware of his concerns until the think- 159 aloud interview process, he also shared that the observation experience was affirming for him, as it made him believe that he would enjoy his future job. As he placed the observation experience in the larger context of MUE 101, he also connected characteristics of himself to his future profession. I didn't realize how much being a teacher has been something that I could really do until I got here. I've always wanted to find a way to apply what I'm good at to doing stuff. And obviously, I'm good at music and all, I can play music all over. [chuckles] I know a lot about music. And another thing that I'm really, really good at is just—this might sound dumb—but thinking and philosophy. I didn't realize until getting here how much philosophy is rooted within education and how much I can apply everything that I’ve been thinking about for years to this class and to teaching. … Really just being here has shown me how much—I don't wanna say destined, that seems like I’m trying to be some kind of hero—but how good of a position this is for me. Yeah, it's really cool because it kinda made me go, "Phew, thank God!" There's definitely a reason for me to be here. (Shane, RTA, November 15, 2017) Shane was relieved to find, as a result of both the field-observation experience and the beginnings of MUE 101, that teaching would allow him to combine two of his greatest strengths: music and philosophy. His confidence in his suitability for music education helped to balance his concerns about being able to start a family and find happiness as a music educator. As the participants began to envision the contexts in which they might teach, they pulled from what they noticed in the field and what they knew about themselves. Influenced by Prior Conceptions of Students 160 Additionally, their conceptions of school-aged students, which they had formed prior to this initial field observation, played a role. These conceptions contributed to the participants’ beliefs about what to expect from students in elementary, middle, and high school which, in turn, informed their thought processes about their own future teaching contexts. Sasha entered the observation experience certain that she wanted to teach high school choral music but quickly found that she might enjoy teaching in a context similar to what she observed in Mrs. B’s class. As she continued to explore this realization, she drew from her conception of both high-school aged students and young children, “I feel like they're not gonna judge me as much as high schoolers and stuff. [chuckles] And I just love how raw young students are, because they haven't always been taught to filter what you have to say” (Sasha, RTA, November 6, 2017). Katie wrestled with her desire to work with young students and her interest in teaching choral music at the high-school level. She believed that, in some ways, elementary students presented more visible, hectic challenges than high schoolers. I feel as if a younger setting classroom—like K through 5th grade for a general music classroom—I feel like that'd be a nice happy spot for me because I really, really like little, little kids. But also, there's that older range where you don't have as many variables. Like there's still those variables, but there's not a kid that peed their pants, or there's not kids who are crying 'cause they miss home. (Katie, RTA, November 9, 2017) Yet, while she felt there were fewer challenges in working with older students, she believed there was a different depth and gravity to those challenges. 161 At the high school level, you get kids who are…they're not passing important tests and big things like that. They come to us with—like that baggage that we were talking about. That is so much more escalated in high school 'cause there's so much more of a deeper complex that you can't see. (Katie, RTA, November 9, 2017) The “baggage that we were talking about” referred to an MUE 101 class period in which we discussed teacher-student relationships and how they can affect classroom culture. To be certain I had understood her reference correctly, I asked Katie to clarify her use of the term “baggage,” upon which she addressed her perceived differences in the visibility of the struggles that elementary- and high-school students face. Baggage as when you're coming into a classroom, and there's just stress from the day, stress from home, stress that you can't control that's in the classroom, that exists in the classroom. And we were talking about how our high school classrooms dealt with it, like did they address this baggage or did they just let it go? And that's what I think is hard about a high school class…is ‘cause a lot of the time if you didn't ask someone, "How are you doing?" you would never know about this stuff going on, whereas little kids are like, "I just peed." So it's like, "Okay!" [laughs] (Katie, RTA, November 9, 2017) Katie drew from her preconceptions of students in early childhood and of high school students in navigating where she might see herself teaching in the future; however, these preconceptions—particularly those regarding young children—were misconceptions, as she failed to acknowledge that the presence of visible needs does not result in the absence of deeper, often invisible, issues. 162 Tobias, like his fellow observers at Martindale School, made numerous observations about student engagement. He compared those observations to his preconceived notion that student engagement was less of an issue at the high-school level. Whatever grade level, there's still a need for authority. But I feel like with high school—I think it's just naturally a little more present because they're older kids. In high school it was more subtle. I didn't feel like—I mean sometimes [the director] would get onto us if it was really bad, but it wasn't always like, "Alright, let's pay attention." … I never really noticed that we were all trying to get on the same page together. If I observed a high school classroom, I wouldn't recognize as quickly the moments that the teacher used to get everyone back on the same track. Where like here, when she counts down, I could obviously tell that that's her trying to get everyone on the same page. (Tobias, RTA, November 7, 2017) Tobias was confident that the observations he made about student engagement, both with regard to the students themselves and Mrs. B’s approaches or responses to student engagement, were specific to a middle-school context. Tobias held misconceptions that informed and, in fact, affirmed where he envisioned himself teaching. Four of the seven participants in this study had a parent (or both parents) who were educators, though none were music educators. Many of the participants described and regarded a parent as a professional role model in some way. Sasha, whose mother taught high-school math, and Katie, whose father was a third-grade teacher, both identified a parent as having played a role in the teaching context possibilities they envisioned for themselves. Influenced by Parent Who Was an Educator 163 Sasha enjoyed spending time in her mother’s classroom as she grew up, sometimes sitting at the back and doing her own work and other times by participating in the lesson just for fun. She noted her mother’s sense of fulfillment from the context in which she taught, describing her mother’s feeling as, “I need high school and that’s it” (Sasha, RTA, November 6, 2017). As a result, Sasha “just assumed” (Sasha, RTA, November 6, 2017) that high school would also be where she would feel most suited and satisfied. However, she did have a suspicion that she might also find other contexts appealing: “That’s why I didn’t mind that music was K-12 [certification], because I knew I could be slightly interested in elementary” (Sasha, RTA, November 6, 2017). Her mother’s influence extended beyond the age of students with which Sasha saw herself working. She loves teaching more [makes quotation mark gestures with hands] “troubled” students, I would say. 'Cause she teaches math—she does not like teaching calculus. She likes teaching lower-level beginning algebra, just because she identifies with those students and is able to help. I guess we're the same in that manner too. … Especially in a core subject, the connection that she's able to create with her students, in something that most of the time you're not very connecting with your math teacher. … I mean, she's a big lady, [chuckles] you're gonna know who she is, but they see her and their day just gets lit up, and I think that's something that I want. (Sasha, RTA, November 6, 2017) Understanding her mother’s passion for math education and witnessing the relationships she formed with her students shaped Sasha’s visions for herself as a teacher. Sasha’s mother indirectly influenced that vision with regard to age, which was disrupted by Sasha’s observation experience, as well as other aspects of being a teacher. 164 During the observation experience, Katie wrestled with where she envisioned herself teaching. She wanted to “keep her mind open” (Katie, RTA, November 9, 2017), so as not to close herself off to any potential settings, but the observation experience seemed to point her towards working with younger children. In addition to her love of little children, Katie identified her father as an influence. He's a third-grade teacher, and I think that's a big part of it ‘cause I used to go and hang out with him when we had school days off all throughout high school. I would just go to his classroom, and I'd do spelling tests for the kids or grade their math work and stuff like that. … I just enjoyed it so much that I think that's where—'cause I see my dad thriving there—it’s like, "Oh, I wanna do that." It's really cool to see. (Katie, RTA, November 9, 2017) Beyond the indirect influence of recognizing her father’s suitability for elementary-aged students, Katie’s father explicitly encouraged her to pursue teaching music at the elementary level. He's a great teacher, so I think it's been really good having him say, [smiles, with an inviting voice] "You should do elementary." And I'm like, "You're right, Dad." [laughs] (Katie, RTA, November 9, 2017) For both Sasha and Katie, having a parent in the education profession played a role in their decision-making processes about where they might decide to teach in the future. In the same way that Olsen (2008) described the “circular,” intertwined,” and “mutually constitutive” (p. 23) relationship between components of teachers’ developing identities, the participants in this study demonstrated this relationship as they began to envision themselves as teachers. This envisioning, sparked by their field-observation 165 Summary experiences, involved the participants revisiting their reasons for choosing music education as a career as well as considering the contexts in which they might teach. Both processes are relevant to teacher identity, specifically with regard to reasons for entry, career plans, teacher education experience and the participants’ prior experiences. When the observation experience resulted in preservice teachers revisiting their reasons for entry into the profession, they expressed concerns about their futures, including their ability to start and support a family, others’ perceptions of job security, and challenges—as well as the motivating aspects—of representation in the music education profession. In considering what context might be the right fit for them as teachers, participants drew from other aspects of their teacher identities, most saliently their prior experiences. These findings suggest that early preservice music teachers may be navigating multiple aspects of their identities as they envision themselves as teachers. 166 CHAPTER 8: SUMMARY, IMPLICATIONS, AND SUGGESTIONS This study explores important transitions for preservice music teachers: the transition from high school to college as well as from student to preservice music teacher. Through this study, I examined—and experienced alongside my students—their first observations in a K-12 music classroom, a context that they had experienced as students for many years prior to entering the teacher education program, but that they engaged in during the study as part of their teacher education program. I presented the findings of this study in the preceding chapters, looking first at what the students noticed during the initial field observation experience, then the connections they made between what they noticed and their teacher identities, and ultimately how the intersections of what they noticed and their identities contributed to their visions of themselves as teachers. In this chapter, I present a summary of the study and a discussion of the findings. I conclude with implications for music teacher educators as well as suggestions for future research. With the intent of informing music teacher educators in their work with and preparation of preservice music teachers, the purpose of this study was to examine the initial field-observation experiences of preservice music teachers enrolled in an introductory music education course. The “grand tour” question guiding this study was, how do preservice music teachers enrolled in an introductory music education course make meaning of their first observations of a music classroom in K-12 schools within their teacher education program? From this overarching question, I sought to address the following subquestions: Summary of the Study 167 Methods 1. What do preservice music teachers notice during their first field observation? 2. In what ways, if any, do preservice music teachers draw connections between their teacher identities and what they notice during an observation? 3. How do preservice music teachers negotiate the aspects of their observations that conflict with their teacher identities? This study followed an instrumental case study design (Stake, 1995), examining the phenomenon of preservice music teachers’ initial field-observation experience as part of an introductory music education course (MUE 101). While each of the students enrolled in MUE 101 provided consent and acted as a participant in this study, seven served as primary participants. These seven primary participants each were in their first semester of the music teacher education program and represented different races, ethnicities, gender identities, sexual orientations, and backgrounds. As a participant observer in this study, I employed ethnographic methods of data collection, collecting data before, during, and after each initial field observation experience by providing transportation for the participants to and from each observation site and by observing alongside them. I also collected data within the context of MUE 101 through assignments and during class meetings from the beginning of the semester until the participants’ field observations. Additional data included in-transit audio recordings to and from the observation sites, my fieldnotes (Creswell, 2007; Emerson, Fretz, & Shaw, 1995), the participants’ written observation reflections, and a retrospective think-aloud interview (Ericsson & Simon, 1973) that I conducted with each participant as we watched a video recording of the class that they observed. 168 Studies have found that preservice music teachers need context or specific goals for observations so that they are meaningful (Conway, 2002, 2012; Powell, 2011). Therefore, I dedicated one class meeting of MUE 101 to framing field observation as an ethnographic practice, specifically exploring how teachers might act as ethnographers in classroom settings. During this class meeting, which occurred immediately prior to the participants’ observations, we explored what an ethnographer is and does, as well as other aspects of ethnographic fieldwork, including issues of access, participant observation, approaches to taking fieldnotes, and understanding how our personal “lenses” may impact what we see (or how we come to understand what we see) in the field. I then facilitated an activity in which the preservice music teachers completed a short, mock field observation as they watched a 5-minute video of a middle school general music class. At the conclusion of the activity, the students discussed their observation notes first in small groups and then as a class. Finally, we engaged in a class discussion to consider why certain aspects may have been observed or questioned more frequently, which segued into an exploration of the role our previous experiences and personal “lenses” may play in how and what we observe. The MUE 101 students completed their observations in small groups, determined first by their primary ensemble participation, then considering transportation availability and the preservice music teachers’ schedules. Albert (2016) found that placing students who observed in less familiar observation contexts was a “disruptive” influence on students’ occupational identities and challenged their conceptions of music education. As such, all MUE 101 students observed within a musical context that was likely to be different from their elementary and secondary experiences or, based upon their primary instrument of study, their ensemble participation at the university. 169 What They Noticed Two observation groups contained primary participants in this study. One group, comprised of preservice music teachers studying wind instruments, observed a kindergarten general music class at Davidson Primary School. Davidson Primary School served only kindergarten students from the surrounding suburban and rural area. The second group, comprised of preservice music teachers studying voice, observed Mrs. Bessemer’s (Mrs. B) fifth- and sixth-grade general music class at Martindale School. Serving only fourth-, fifth-, and sixth-grade students, Martindale School was located in an urban area near the university. What the participants noticed during their observations related to (1) pedagogical strategies, (2) student engagement, (3) teacher decision-making, (4) conflict resolution, and (5) teacher language. Participants at both observation sites identified movement as learning tool, identifying both the teachers’ use of movement in the classroom and its observed benefits for the students based on their observations or their prior conceptions about its pedagogical value. With the exception of movement as a learning tool, what the participants noticed differed dependent upon their observation site. Participants who observed at Davidson Primary School largely noticed aspects of the class that related to the musical activities. The teacher had studied Music Learning Theory (MLT) and its applications during her early childhood and elementary methods courses, and this approach to teaching informed her pedagogy. The participants identified several components of MLT, including the actual activities as well as the teacher’s practices. However, not having had any prior exposure to MLT, they identified the presence of its components unknowingly. Participants commented on the teacher’s use of songs in 170 multiple tonalities in meters as well as her constant use of singing and music, even in transitions and when giving instructions. They particularly noticed how students demonstrated an understanding of the MLT concepts “audiation” and “resting tone,” and recognized this as both impressive, given the young age of the students, and valuable, as they related the skills to their current ear training classes. Beyond identifying these MLT concepts in practice, participants experienced a disruption in their expectations for the students’ competencies. The kindergarten students demonstrated musical abilities that surpassed what the participants believed to be typical or possible for young students both musically and socially. Participants who observed at Martindale School largely noticed aspects of student engagement and conflict resolution in the classroom, which led them to consider the teacher’s decision-making processes in addressing student behaviors. In observing the teacher’s approach to these concerns, they noticed that the focus was not on mandatory participation; rather, some participants believed that the teacher was sensitive to individual students’ needs and comfort. Many of the participants attempted to find the rationale behind certain students’ lack of participation, and some attributed this to the compulsory nature of the class. Additionally, they began to question how the teacher decided whether to address certain issues of student engagement. At times when the teacher addressed individuals’ engagement, conflict arose. Observing her strategies to resolving these conflicts was a powerful experience for each of the participants. They described the teacher’s approach as consistently calm and respectful, both with the class as a whole and in addressing individual students in times of conflict. Her choice of language, as well as her tone of voice, in these times contributed to the 171 participants’ understandings of the teacher’s strategies in her classroom. One strategy, in which the teacher created or sought out opportunities to speak one-on-one with students inconspicuously, stood out to each of the participants as effective and evidence of the teacher’s responsiveness to the students. Consistent with Albert’s (2016) findings, participants at both observation sites experienced disruptions to their preconceptions of music education in some way as a result of observing in a less familiar context, such as a general music classroom. However, the nature of these disruptions was dependent upon other contextual factors, including school demographics and the age range of the students observed. For some, the environment in which they observed caused an initial shock as they encountered vastly different school demographics from their previous experiences (Martindale School) or younger children than they had encountered previously (Davidson Primary School), suggesting that preservice music teachers’ previous experiences may contribute both to whether they experience disruptions and the nature of those disruptions. The perspective from which preservice music teachers observe in the field also may shape their observations. Participants at Davidson Primary School acted as participant observers, participating in each of the activities during class alongside the kindergarten students. Their role as participant observers afforded them continual opportunities to interact with the students which, based upon the observations they made, seemed to be a memorable aspect of the observation experience for them individually and as they observed their peers’ interactions with the students. The participants who visited Martindale School sat in a row of chairs at the back of the room, which allowed them to take notes during the observation. This difference of perspective did not seem to change 172 Intersections with Identity the participants ability to notice student behaviors; rather, that participant observation allowed the preservice music teachers to experience and be informed by interactions with students. In examining the connections that the participants made to their teacher identities, I employed Olsen’s (2008) model of teacher identity development in order to capture a “dynamic, holistic interaction among multiple parts” (p. 25). Six components comprise Olsen’s (2008) model of teacher identity development: (1) reasons for entry; (2) teacher education experience; (3) current teaching context/practice; (4) career plans/teacher retention; (5) prior experience, including family and schooling; and (6) prior professional experience, including work with children. As a framework for exploring preservice music teacher identity, this model accounts for aspects of self beyond musician, performer, and teacher, upon which many explorations of teacher identity have been made (Beynon, 1998; Bouij, 2004; Draves, 2014; Froelich & L’Roy, 1985; Isbell, 2008; L’Roy, 1983; Roberts, 1991). The participants in this study drew connections between what they noticed and three components of teacher identity described in Olsen’s (2008) model: (1) prior personal experiences; (2) professional experience; and (3) teacher education experience. Connections to prior personal experiences were the most salient among these, which seems logical, given that the participants had yet to enter the profession formally and were in the early stages of the teacher education program. However, the participants’ professional experiences gained through ensemble leadership positions, extracurricular 173 activities, and part-time jobs allowed them to make connections between their own life experience and the realities of an actual K-12 school music classroom. Prior personal experiences. Participants’ observations with regard to family influence, comparisons to their K-12 school experience, remembering themselves from childhood, and seeing certain aspects of themselves reflected in the teacher all helped them make meaning of what they observed. Those who acted as participant observers attributed their comfort or lack of comfort around young children to prior experiences with immediate and extended family. Some participants made connections between aspects of their observation experience and experiences from their time in K-12 schools, either by comparing and equating what they noticed to their own experiences or by referencing prior knowledge as they made meaning of what they observed. These connections varied with regard to grade level and content area, indicating that students do not necessarily draw from their K-12 experiences that mirror, when applicable, those same conditions and context as the context in which they are observing. It may be worth considering that participants without K-12 experiences that mirror, with regard to grade level and content area, the context in which they are observing may not have prior experiences from which to draw when processing what they observe, as was the case for one participant at each observation site. Among the connections that participants made to prior personal experiences, those instances in which they remembered themselves as children were most prevalent. These instances entailed the participants imagining themselves in the students’ positions and consequently remembering a time during which they experienced similar things to the students whom they were observing. Like the connections that participants made to K-12 174 experiences in general, the participants’ memories of themselves as children were not content-specific, as they remembered themselves in both musical and nonmusical contexts; however, these connections were age-specific, as participants compared or equated their prior experiences to themselves at the age of the students whom they were observing. Additionally, they drew from memories of themselves as children both in and outside of school contexts as they made connections between what they noticed in the field and their prior childhood experiences. Two participants, both of whom experienced disruption to their beliefs about the context in which they envisioned themselves teaching as a result of the observation experience, identified aspects of themselves reflected in the teacher they observed. One identified with the teacher’s overall approach to addressing conflict, and the other, with the teacher’s bimusicality (Schmidt & Smith, 2017). Prior to the observation experience, both participants envisioned themselves teaching in ensemble settings, a finding that is consistent with previous research (Bergee et al., 2001; Frederickson & Williams, 2009; Hellman, 2008). Following the observation experience, both participants expressed having changed their prior conceptions about where they would teach. While this was not the sole meaningful aspect of the observation experience for either participant, they were the only two to have expressed a disruption of this nature as a result, at least in part, of having seen aspects of themselves reflected in the teacher they observed. Prior professional experiences. Participants with prior professional experiences, whether in the context of a K-12 classroom or through an extracurricular activity or part- time job, were able to connect some of what they noticed to their own experiences working with children. Through these connections, they often were able to consider possible 175 rationale for student or teacher behaviors that they observed. In addition, aspects of each participant’s prior professional experiences influenced what they noticed in the field, most notably for a participant whose own K-12 school experiences and prior professional experiences were similar to Martindale School’s with regard to the school’s urban location and demographics. Because of his familiarity with a similar context, this participant’s observations focused largely on the teacher’s interactions with the students. He noted that many aspects of the teacher’s approach were different from what he had experienced as a student, and he commented on her approach with much more depth, specificity, and rationale for her practices than his peers, who observed at the same observation site. Undergraduate coursework. Participants at both observation sites made connections between what they observed in the field and components of their undergraduate coursework, specifically MUE 101, the case for this study and the class in which each of the participants was enrolled. They also connected their observations to their ear training classes at the University. The connections between field observations and MUE 101 included personal philosophical beliefs about music teaching and learning, as well as the concept of student-centered teaching. Many of the participants acknowledged the emphasis on developing aural skills through many of the activities they observed, especially noting the similarity between the skills needed for the students they observed and the skills they were working to develop in their collegiate ear training courses. The participants’ connections to MUE 101 allowed them an opportunity to see theoretical concepts in application, as their connections to ear training class shaped their beliefs both about the value of helping students develop certain musical skills and the age at which students can learn and apply those skills. 176 Making connections known. Though participants referenced in their written observation reflections a few of the connections I described above, these connections primarily became apparent to the participants during the retrospective think-aloud interviews. These one-on-one interviews provided additional insight into what the participants noticed, what questions they developed as result of what they noticed, and ultimately how they came to understand what they observed in the field. It would be inappropriate to assume that, given my role as both the researcher and the instructor of MUE 101, the power dynamic between the participants and myself had no effect on what they shared during this process; however, my deep involvement and interactions with the participants through MUE 101 discussions and activities also may have contributed to their comfort to share the aspects of their identities to which they made connections. As Olsen (2008) states, the components of teacher identity “epistemologically . . . are intertwined and continually loop back and forth to influence each other in mutually constitutive ways” (p. 24). This was true for the connections the participants made between their observations in the field and their prior personal and professional experiences, as well as their current coursework as part of the music teacher education program. Olsen (2008) also described teacher identity development as a “circular process in which a teacher is always collapsing the past, present and future into a complex mélange of professional beliefs, goals, memories, and predictions” (p. 24). The participants demonstrated this very process, as the observation experience led many participants to consider their futures as music educators and revisit their reasons for choosing music education as a career. Informing and Influencing Identity 177 The act of envisioning themselves as teachers emerged during the retrospective think-aloud process, indicating that the participants began to navigate some aspect of their future (being a music educator) and their present (taking their first formal steps following the decision to pursue music education) as a result of the field-observation experience. For those who revisited their decision to become a music educator, the observation experience stirred concerns about their future. These concerns included starting and supporting a family, job security, and, for participants of color, a lack of role models in music education with regard to race. For many participants, the process of navigating whether they could envision themselves teaching in a context similar to their observation site occurred throughout the think-aloud interview, while others considered this at the conclusion of the interview, as they reflected upon the experience of the observation. Four influences emerged from participants’ considerations of where they envisioned themselves teaching in the future: (1) what they noticed during the field-observation experience; (2) personal characteristics and their suitability for a particular context; (3) prior conceptions of students; and (4) a parent who was an educator. These findings further support Olsen’s claims about the circular, mutually informing aspects of past, present, and future in teacher identity development. Although the reader may use “logical situational generalizability” (Schwartz, 1996, p. 7) to transfer the findings of this study to other populations, the findings of this study are not generalizable to all contexts. It is my hope that the findings from this study will help music teacher educators approach the design and implementation of field-observation Implications for Practice 178 The Value of Early Field-Observation Experiences experiences for the preservice music teachers with whom they work in a more purposeful, meaningful way. The results of this study may inform several aspects of this process that had been unexplored previously. Researchers have identified field experiences as important in the secondary socialization and identity construction of preservice music teachers (Conkling, 2004; Haston & Russell, 2012; Hourigan & Scheib, 2009; McDowell, 2007; Paul, 1998; Thompson, 2000). Specifically, researchers have identified multiple benefits of early field experience for preservice music teachers, including developing an understanding of actual classroom settings (Bergee, 2006; Butler, 2001; Colwell, 1995; Hourigan & Scheib, 2009), providing opportunities to assess their potential as teachers (Aiken & Day, 1999; Reynolds & Conway, 2003), increasing teacher confidence (Bergee, 2006; Hourigan & Scheib, 2009; Reynolds & Conway, 2003), and increasing motivation to teach (Aiken & Day, 1999). Moreover, studies have indicated that preservice teachers who engage in early field experiences may develop a commitment both to students and to the teaching profession (Aiken & Day, 1999; Bergee, 2006; Reynolds & Conway, 2003). This study contributes to the extant literature that has found value, for various reasons, in early field experiences for preservice music teachers. Through this initial field- observation experience, participants gained insight into music teaching and learning contexts with which they were unfamiliar in some way. For each of the participants, this experience was disruptive to some aspect of their preconceived notions, including their beliefs about student behaviors and abilities, pedagogical practices, and teacher-student interactions. 179 Researchers have explored the influence of preservice music teachers’ prior musical experiences on their values and identities as teachers (Bergee, 1992; Bergee et al., 2001; Campbell, 1999; Cox, 1997; Dolloff, 1999; Draves, 2012; Ferguson, 2003; Fredrickson & Williams, 2009; Isbell, 2008; Kelly, 2000; Madsen & Kelly, 2002; Mark, 1998; Rickels et al., 2010; Roberts, 1991a, 1991b, 1991c; Schmidt, 1998; Thompson, 2000; Thompson & Campbell, 2003) and, as Lortie (2002) suggests, preservice music teachers may need experiences to disrupt the apprenticeship of observation. The results of this study suggest that, bearing in mind a number of factors that I explore subsequently, field-observation experiences can act as a disruptive force for preservice music teachers. In designing meaningful early field-observation experiences, either as a standalone practice or in conjunction with field-teaching experiences, music teacher educators should bear in mind a number of factors. These factors relate to the preservice music teachers themselves, contextual aspects of potential observation sites, and the act of observation itself. These field experiences should be designed with specific instructional outcomes in mind, and the context in which students observe, in interaction with their life experiences and identities, affect the outcomes of the observation. experience may influence teacher identity development. Preservice music teachers’ prior experiences shape what they notice and how they make meaning of what they notice in the field. The participants in this study experienced disruptions, or aspects of their field observations that challenged their personal experiences and preconceived notions of music education, when they observed in a context less familiar than those with which they had The presence or absence of various disruptive elements in a field-observation Designing Early Field-Observation Experiences 180 the most prior or recent experience. For some, the most disruptive element was the age of the students they observed, as those with little or no experience interacting with young children felt less comfortable engaging with early childhood students in the field. These findings suggest that preservice music teachers who have experience with children in the same age range as those with whom they will be interacting in the field may be both more comfortable engaging and apt to engage with students than their peers without similar prior experiences. Others experienced disruptions when the location and demographics of the school as well as the classroom environment differed from their previous experiences. In trying to understand the disruptions they experienced, participants compared their observations to personal experience. Music teacher educators, then, may be able to place preservice music teachers into observation contexts that could be more or less disruptive to specific aspects of their developing teacher identities, depending upon their instructional goals. Participants who saw some aspect of themselves in the teachers they observed tended not only to feel positively about the observation experience but to envision themselves possibly teaching in a similar context to the one in which they observed. Bearing in mind that ensemble directors tend to be the strongest influence on students’ decisions to become music teachers (Bergee, 1992; Bergee et al., 2001; Cox, 1997; Fredrickson & Williams, 2009; Jones & Parkes, 2010; Kelly, 2010; Madsen & Kelly, 2002; Rickels et al., 2010; Schonauer, 2002; Thornton & Bergee, 2008) and that the majority of undergraduate music education majors envision themselves teaching high school ensembles after graduation (Bergee et al., 2001; Frederickson & Williams, 2009; Hellman, 2008), providing preservice music teachers with opportunities to observe teachers with 181 whom they may be able to identify in some way could help them in considering teaching contexts other than secondary ensembles and help them to align their professional goals with professional settings in which they may be the most successful. The findings from this study suggest that, for preservice music teachers who enter the music teacher education program envisioning themselves teaching in secondary ensemble settings, the opportunity to observe a teacher (1) with whom they can identify in some way and (2) in a music teaching and learning context other than a secondary ensemble may impact their ability and willingness to consider different contexts for themselves as teachers. Because prior experiences inform what is disruptive, music teacher educators may benefit from working to develop an understanding of the individual preservice music teachers’ backgrounds with whom they work. Similarly, preservice music teachers may benefit from an exploration of how their previous experiences may shape how they interpret their observations in the field. While it would be impossible to design a completely unique observation experience for every preservice music teacher with whom they work and with regard to every consideration I have presented here, music teacher educators should consider multiple field-observation opportunities in a variety of settings and with a variety of teachers, specifically with regard to what aspects may reinforce or be disruptive to preservice music teachers’ developing teacher identities. The results from this study suggest that placing preservice music teachers in observation contexts with some element of familiarity to their prior experiences may result in their noticing different aspects than in a context with unfamiliar aspects. A body of rich and varied field experiences early in the teacher education program, informed by individuals’ prior experiences, may contribute meaningfully to their developing teacher identities. 182 Observation context may play a role in what preservice music teachers notice. Previous research has focused on the extent to which preservice music teachers noticed teacher- and student-focused aspects of an observation experience (Duke & Pricket, 1987; Standley & Greenfield, 1987; Yarbrough & Henley, 1999; Henninger, 2002; Berg, 2002; Madsen & Cassidy, 2005; Androutsos & Humphreys, 2010); however, these studies neglect to consider the role of context in what preservice teachers notice. While each field- observation was uniquely meaningful to the primary participants, there were commonalities in what they noticed dependent upon the site at which they observed. Preservice music teachers in the early stages of the teacher education program may be unable to consider contextual factors beyond age, grade, and type of musical setting, as was the case for participants at both observation sites. Participants who observed at a school serving only kindergarten students, with specific goals for early childhood socialization, made no mention of having considered any aspect of the observation site aside from it being a kindergarten general music classroom. Similarly, while one participant initially commented that the location and demographics of the school may play a role in what she was to observe, this never surfaced in her or her peers’ observations. This suggests that, while some preservice music teachers may be able to identify that such factors as location and demographics shape certain aspects of a school and its students, they often are unable to identify how and why in their observations. Perhaps the first step in addressing this concern is to provide preservice music teachers with opportunities to observe in a variety of contexts. Beyond age, grade, and musical setting (e.g., general music, instrumental ensemble), music teacher educators may want to consider exposing preservice music teachers to varied observation sites with 183 regard to geographic location and student demographics. Because, in some circumstances, access to these types of diversity may not be possible, music teacher educators may find value in applying these principles to video-recorded observation. Live remote observation also may be an option, depending upon the available resources and alignment of schedules, as technology continues to make these kinds of connections increasingly more available. As preservice music teachers observe music teaching and learning in a variety of contexts, music teacher educators may help them understand the role of various contextual factors by explicitly addressing these factors during class meetings or through reflective processes. With an understanding of if and how preservice music teachers come to understand the contexts in which they observe, music teacher educators may prepare preservice music teachers more fully to teach in a variety of different contexts. different perspectives. The body of literature involving videotaped observation activities indicates that the perspective from which preservice music teachers observe a classroom may impact what they notice during the observation (Duke & Prickett, 1987; Yarbrough & Henley, 1999; Madsen & Cassidy, 2005; Androutsos & Humphreys, 2010). While these studies largely focused on whether the participants made student- or teacher-focused observations, a similar concept applied in this study. Participants who acted as participant observers during the observation experience noted and commented on their interactions with students but were unable to take written notes during the observation experience, which prevented them from documenting specific observations or making note of questions that arose during their observation experience. Conversely, those who observed from the “outside,” sitting at the back of the classroom, were able to take written notes Preservice music teachers may benefit from opportunities to observe from 184 A Broader, More Inclusive View of Teacher Identity Development throughout the observation but did not experience any one-on-one interactions with the students they observed. Dependent upon a number of factors, including participants’ prior experiences working with children, both experiences may be valuable for preservice music teacher, as both provide different perspectives. Music teacher educators may wish to consider this aspect of observing in their design of field-observation experiences for preservice music teachers. Wagoner (2011) describes identity construction for the preservice music teacher as an ongoing, fluid process that is subject to contextual influences and is not dependent upon developmental stages but on experiences and autobiography, which is in alignment with Olsen’s model of teacher identity development. Teacher development is circular even as it is also forward-moving . . . This [model], then, considers how teachers rely on embedded understandings of and for themselves as teachers, which derive from personal and prior experiences as well as professional and current ones. These embedded understandings shape how teachers interpret, evaluate, and continuously collaborate in the construction of their own early development. (Wagoner, 2011, pp. 23-24) Because connections with prior experiences were such a salient part of how the participants in this study made meaning from what they observed, Wagoner’s emphasis on experiences and autobiography as well as contextual influences, aligns with the findings of this study. With this knowledge, music teacher educators may support more fully the developing teacher identities of the preservice music teachers with whom they work by 185 Implementing Early Field-Observation Experiences incorporating autobiographical explorations early into the teacher education experience. This may help preservice music teachers to understand the lenses with which they view observations in the field and, upon reflection individually and with peers, how their lenses differ from others’. This study also has implications for how music teacher educators implement early field-observation experiences within their music teacher education programs. As Conway (2002; 2012) and Powell (2011) identified, preservice music teachers may find observing without context or specific goals as lacking value. Similarly, researchers have found that, during observation tasks, preservice music teachers likely will notice teacher behaviors more frequently (Duke & Pricket, 1987; Standley & Greenfield, 1987; Yarbrough & Henley, 1999; Henninger, 2002; Berg, 2002; Madsen & Cassidy, 2005; Androutsos & Humphreys, 2010) and critique them more harshly (Madsen et al., 1992; Madsen, 2003; Madsen & Cassidy, 2005) than student behaviors. With this in mind, music teacher educators should address, in some way, observing many aspects of the setting and class in which one observes. Some participants expressed, with regard to race, an awareness of never having seen a music educator who looked like them. For those participants who were able to see some aspect of themselves reflected in the teacher, the field-observation experience was particularly meaningful and, for some, it was transformative in how they envisioned themselves as teachers. Because this relationship between preservice music teachers and the practitioners whom they observe seems to be important, both when it is present and when it is absent, it may be worth exploring in more detail. This may provide valuable 186 Suggestions for Future Research information when designing early field-observation experiences but perhaps also when placing preservice music teachers for field-teaching, practicum, and student teaching experiences. While researchers have examined early fieldwork in preservice music teacher education with regard to field teaching experiences (Butler, 2001; Warren, 2001; Conway, 2002 & 2012; McDowell, 2007; Pence, 2008; Powell, 2011, 2014) and, more specifically, student teacher readiness and performance (Fant, 1996; Hourigan & Scheib, 2009), research exploring the role and processes of music classroom observations in the field is limited. Additionally, the act of in-field observation is a relatively unexamined practice within music teacher preparation. To my knowledge, this study is one of two to examine qualitatively the initial field observations of preservice music teachers. Further qualitative explorations of preservice music teachers’ observations in the field may provide new and valuable insight to this common practice in music teacher education programs. Walls and Samuels’ (2011) assert that observations must be applicable to the observer in order to generate meaning. Research into preservice music teachers’ perceptions of the value of field observations may prove useful in understanding to what, if anything, they assign value to within field-observation experiences and why. The results of such studies may further illuminate the influence of primary socialization on preservice music teachers, from which music teacher educators could design more meaningful experiences that perhaps are more disruptive to their preconceived notion of music education. 187 Powell (2011) states that research examining observation methods and sequencing would be valuable, especially to understanding preservice music teachers’ skill development. Given the differences in observations between participants in this study who acted as participant observers and those who were non-participant observers, an exploration of the various ways preservice music teachers insert themselves into the field may be valuable. Additionally, greater understanding as to their strategies and approaches to documenting the field-observation experiences may provide valuable information about what preservice music teachers notice in the field. Deeper exploration into the effectiveness of framing observation as an ethnographic practice (Miranda, 2005; 2007) also may be beneficial. This study examined one of the earliest field experiences in the secondary socialization of preservice music teachers. Given the wealth of information that emerged about this one experience, long-term explorations into field observations may provide insight into the roles that observations in the field play in a preservice music teacher’s identity development. Similarly, it may be valuable to understand the difference in experience and meaning that preservice music teachers gain from observing multiple times in a single context as well as one time in multiple contexts. Furthermore, any of these explorations considered in the sequence of music teacher education coursework may inform preservice music teachers’ design and implementation of early field experiences. The importance of observation practices extends far beyond what is associated with the initial field observation examined through this study. As preservice music teachers progress through the music teacher education programs, they will observe their peers, other teachers, and even themselves as a means to improve their teaching (Walls & 188 Samuels, 2011). During student teaching and upon entering the profession, they also will be observed regularly. By establishing a comfort with and value for observation as a practice early in the development of preservice music teachers, they may gain more from their experiences in the field and, ultimately, become more observant and responsive teachers upon entering the field. 189 REFERENCES 190 REFERENCES Albert, D. J. (2015). 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