llllilllllll lllllllllllfllllllllllll 31293 01563 1058 This is to certify that the dissertation entitled Good Students, Good Daughters: Girls and Women Struggling with Voice and Silence to Meet Social and Cultural Ebcpectations presented by Sheryl Lyn Welte has been accepted to'wards fulfillment of the requirements for 1WD degree in M -.‘ . g. - — .. , V t ‘ . .. l n ' .— .- —‘ r. . I . \ \ V 1 Major piofessor Date l_%¢ /i 499} MSU is an Affirmative Action/Equal Opportunity Institution 0-12771 LIBRARY Michigan State University PLACE IN RETURN BOX to remove this checkout from your record. TO AVOID FINES return on or before date due. DATE'WE' 1 DATE DUE DATE DUE ,J j ‘ .b H in ‘JAN 0 7 2001 IVVYIO 03020 MSU Is An Affirmative Action/Equal Opportunity Institution c:\c|rc\dundm.om3-p.1 GOOD STUDENTS, GOOD DAUGHTBRS: GIRLS AND WOMEN STRUGGLING WITH VOICE AND SILENCE TO MEET SOCIAL AND CULTURAL EXPECTATIONS By Sheryl Lyn Welte A DISSERTATION Submitted to Michigan State University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY Department of Counseling, Educational Psychology, and Special Education 1997 Copyright by Sheryl Lyn Welte 1 997 ABSTRACT GOOD STUDENTS, GOOD DAUGHTERS: GIRLS AND WOMEN STRUGGLING WITH VOICE AND SILENCE To MEET SOCIAL AND CULTURAL EXPECTATIONS By Sheryl Lyn Welte The purposes of this study are to expand the discourse on women’s ways of knowing and to improve the quality of college teaching. In particular, this study highlights how women college students struggle with voice and silence, self and other, public and private, as they strive to meet both the social expectations of teachers and the cultural demands of family and religion. By qualitatively and biographically describing one woman college student’s ways of knowing the author attempts to understand and represent how women college students make sense of: their ways of knowing, the influences of social and cultural factors on their ways of knowing, and their developing sense of self (i.e., how students relate what is happening to their ways of knowing to their sense of self). Primary data consists of in-depth interviews of college students and teachers, classroom observations, and ongoing personal reflection journals collected over a one and one—half year period at a private university in Bangladesh. One woman’s story is the primary focus of the study and is told in particularistic detail. While this study was conducted in Dhaka, Bangladesh, this is _n_ot a study of Bangladesh, Bengali culture, or the Muslim religion as practiced in Bangladesh. Situating the research in Bangladesh, however, provides us with new perspectives and insights about women’s ways of knowing. The implicitly comparative nature of this study contributes to knowledge about the ways in which various social and cultural contexts shape women college students’ ways of knowing in both Bangladesh and the United States. Contrary to the existing literature on college students’ ways of knowing, which suggests that ways of knowing are stagelike and developmentally sequenced, this study indicates that women college students simultaneously possess and demonstrate multiple ways of knowing which are dynamic and situational. This finding has important implications for educational practice and research. To Chris Clark, For helping me to understand and navigate my own struggles with voice and silence, self and other as I tried to meet social and cultural expectations. Thank you for being the most caring, thoughtful, and empowering teacher I could have hoped for. You have made it possible for my voice to be heard. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS To my husband, Dutch, for believing in me and my ability to write this dissertation even whenI didn’t, and loving me through it all; you are my inspiration and my optimism. To my family, for supporting me in every way throughout years and years of school, and for being proud of me for taking the road less traveled; you keep me grounded, always reminding me of what is really important. To my writing/support group, Cindy Helman and Greg Merritt, for helping me to figure out what I wanted to say, how to say it, and laughing a lot along the way; you are the truest of friends and colleagues. To my friend and writing partner, Jim Bowker, for passionately discussing everything about this process, and for caring about me and my work as only a great friend can. To all my friends, for listening to and helping me through all my fears and worries about not being able to write this dissertation. To my dissertation director and chair, Christopher Clark, for providing unconditional SUPPOIT and guidance throughout every phase of my dissertation, no matter how far away Iwas. To all of my committee members, Lynn Paine, Jack Smith, and Steve Weiland, for your thoughtful and thought-provoking insights and suggestions, and for allowing and encouraging me to write a dissertation that is truly mine. vi To Rahnuma, whose story is told here, for allowing me to enter her world and for helping me and others to understand it and learn from it. To all the women who told me their stories, for having the courage and strength to use their voice. Thank you! vii TABLE unit: Dunno. Sill'ATlN \ ENTER 1: [\TRODCCHON: DEl MoflammConocps innoftommu..- Chill]! 3: [\TORXIED BY OTHEF Minimum-k5,”. Pan College students lnlcllcc . to the \’ LOICCS (Infill and . Lsing Belem CHEN Goldbcrgcran Bmillil‘IEOIdill Studn'ng W om S and Limitations of Exis ‘mme‘mgas 3380011”) Constmcw 11:an I M" Pawns Attention asofelte‘si995R lan'o 0m] Frame“: TABLE OF CONTENTS PART ONE: DEFININGLSITUATING,AND CONDUCTING THE RESEARCH CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION: DEFINING THE RESEARCH Definition of Terms and Concepts 4 Overview of Contents 9 CHAPTER 2: INFORMED BY OTHERS: SITUATING THE RESEARCH ................. 11 Existing Frameworks 12 Pm: College Students’ Intellectual Dc. ‘ I ‘ 12 Gilligan: Listening to the Voices of Women 14 Clinchy and Zimmerman: Using Perry’s Framework with Women ..................... 15 Belenky, Clinchy, Goldberger, and Tarule: Women’s Ways of Knowing ............ 17 Baxter Magolda: Studying Women and Men’s Ways of Knowing ...................... 19 Summary and Limitations of Existing Frameworks 19 Ways of Knowing as Socially Constrlwted 77 The First Study: Paying Attention to Social Context 74 Welte’s 1995 Relational Framework 2] Ways of Knowing as Culturally Constmcfed Ti The Second Study: Paying Attention to Social and Cultural Contexts ................. 36 CHAPTER 3: HEARING WOMEN’S VOICES: CONDUCTING THE RESARCH....38 Naturalistic Inquiry 40 Data P " " 43 Finding Par” 'r ‘ 44 Interviewing the Women Students 5’) Interviewing the Teacherc S 7 Other Sources of Information and " ‘ ' U S8 viii nuns“): DanAnalysis ....... OrpnzinglheData. ................ MWWCWII lhiztionsofthc Methodologw CmssCulnnal Definitions ....... Imeormmn' Item Ward Gum W ASomhAsian MI (WWW: Prim: Hi mm. Lame FROM nr CilPlERlz In 0000 snnm sum Io MEET sc It In did Rahnlnna brluglo ......... Finding My Story: Data Analysis 59 Organizing the Data 5n Developing Reasonable Conclusions 51 Limitations of the Methodology m “ ‘ " m Cross-Cultural Definitions 6s Interviewing 67 Time C- ‘ ' ‘ mg The Contexts: Bangladesh and Gulshan University 60 Bangladesh: A South Asian Muslim Country 69 Gulshan University: Private Higher Fdnmrinn 72 PART TWO: LEARNING FROM THE PARTICULARS: ONE WOMAN’S STORY CHAPTER 4: THE GOOD STUDENT: STRUGGLING WITH VOICE AND SILENCE TO MEET SOCIAL EXPECTATIONS R7 Rahnuma at GU R‘ 1a. What did Rahnuma bring to the situation? 8% Rahnuma in Her Environment Class 99 lb. What did Rahnuma bring to her environment class? .................................... 100 2. What did Rahnuma’s teacher bring to the environment class? ....................... 103 3. How did Rahnuma interpret her teacher’s instructional practices? ................ 111 4. How did Rahnuma respond to her teacher’s instructional practices? ............. 113 Rahnuma in Her Mathematics Class 1 15 lb. What did Rahnuma bring to her mathematics class? .................................... 116 2. What did Rahnurna’s teacher bring to the mathematics class? ....................... 118 3. How did Rahnuma interpret her teacher’s instructional practices? ................ 124 4. How did Rahnuma respond to her teacher’s instructional practices? ............. 126 Summary and Reflectinnq 132 CHAPTER 5: THE GOOD DAUGHTER: STRUGGLING WITH VOICE AND SILENCE TO MEET CULTURAL EXPECTATIONS .......................... 137 Unconsciously Meeting Expectations: Silent and Voiceless 137 Manifestations in Elementary and Secondary School 141 hmingAIm: Dimming Her St limes ofSclf Arm of Other Religions” Awararss of Grade ................ tniiatith Others The Struggle Bq Manifestation with Family ....... Manifestations with Religion... Manifmions at School ........... infirm l’p: Priiatciy Knowing ] Rana to Meet Familial Expc W to Man nights Exp Md? Rfiigncd. Primal) Sm illllllREE: LESSONS LEARNED REFIKTIOXS fr MIR 6: lESSONS LEARNED: l [\lPLlCAIlONS .............. *' *M=~‘ LL Becoming Aware: Discovering Her Self and Voice 143 Awareness of Self 143 Awareness of Other R "g' 144 Awareness of Gender 145 Conflict with Others: The Struggle Begins 146 Manifestations with Family 147 Manifestations with Religion 148 Manifestations at School 149 Being Grown Up: Privately Knowing, Publicly Silent 150 Resigned to Meet Familial FxPec‘tafinns 151 Resigned to Meet Religious Expectations 155 Publicly Resigned, Privately Struggling 157 Summary and Reflections I60 PART THREE: LESSONS LEARNED AND LIVED: SUMMARY AND REFLECTIONS CHAPTER 6: LESSONS LEARNED: FINDINGS, CLAIMS, AND IMPLICATIONS 165 Lessons Learned: Paying Attention to Social and Cultural Contexts 166 Good Students: Struggling to Meet Social FXpecfations 170 Good Daughters: Struggling to Meet Cultural EXpectafions 172 Good Students, Good Daughters: Conflicting Expectations 176 Knowing is Not Enough 173 Supports and Extends Belenky et al.’s Framework 173 Implications for Practice: A Debate with Myself 183 Questioning Ourselves, Our Courses, and Our Students 185 A Debate with Myself 197 Summary 198 Implications for “ L 70!) Studies in Higher Education 70o Studies in Public Schools 70] Studies of Educational Transitions 703 Informed and ‘ r' J 704 “TM-“M" 3911065.: LESSONS LIVED “I {mus of My Center ..................... Singles til: Voice and Silence. Self lletrghpectzriors ......................... HLiltJB} STOFREFERENCES.....,.._.. EPILOGUE: LESSONS LIVED: “THE VULNERABLE OBSERVER” .................... 206 Conscious of My Gender 902 Struggles with Voice and Silence, Self and Other 710 Meeting F r ‘ ‘ 711 Words We Live By 9] 1 LIST OF REFERENCES 71‘; xi PA] DEFINING.S CONDI’CTINT “There 15 no sh Heimu: PART ONE DEFINING, SITUATING, AND CONDUCTING THE RESEARCH “There is no shortcut to meaning.” Helrnut Sell, 1995 [NTRODI'CTIO-V: In the: is an “ongoing dial‘ new this has 'mnm‘ the . tings-n1 edmnjon (Belem: Cllfi 33.1939. Chm“; 1978; Collins EffilHSimsqlx-Mpmm 198 in 1989.3qu l987)...\'cr}‘ mu: mom'sdivesin' as knowcrs or (its Wilton: women claim and com Land's (1989) study of working Chapter 1 INTRODUCTION: DEFINING THE RESEARCH While there is an "ongoing dialogue about how gender shapes what and how women know" which has "spanned the disciplines, including philosophy, psychology, sociology, and education (Belenky, Clinchy, Goldberger, & Tarule, 1986; Bordo & Jaggar, 1989; Chodorow, 1978; Collins, 1990; Gilligan, 1982, 1988, 1990; Harding & Hintikka, 1983; Levesque-Lopman, 1988; Lloyd, 1984; McMillan, 1982; Martin, 1985; l Ruddick, 1989; Smith, 1987)...very little empirical work has been done that either maps l out women's diversity as knowers or describes the varied and changing conditions under Which different women claim and construct knowledge" (Luttrell, 1993, p. 506). Luttrell's (1989) study of working women's ways of knowing and her (1993) comparative ethnography of two adult basic education programs begin to fill this gap by highlighting the influence of gender, race, and class on women's ways of knowing. In addition, Luttrell's (1993) study Claims that "women understand and negotiate the twisted relations of gender, knowledge, and power differently according to school organization and mission" (p. 53 6). This finding supports her contention that we must not ignore "the Varied and Changing contexts Within and against which women construct and claim knowledge" (p. 536). This mnnalistic study oonside nzhothe Varied and changing cultu am mirage. Specifically Wholly describes and explon no try-m lot. in Banging, trial and “11111133 comer-s influence a 33 W015 9W my ftsearth: Illllhrnyt ofknowing do whim to there no mm other; mm. mm lll litre [M's n.“ of kno mam: I'll 1' rim "is do other Soci roller Wdenn’ Ways of know mg 1“ Bangladesh proyidcd n “318 I . . 3“ WW8 In an Unfamil Ameilcal] Clllillre lS oflm lg] hfiafld the melpams Why]: [hi Written in a new and . ercnt willie . plays smmfluenClng Slud Widths . , llelocUSOf "MW llfibeso Y's “01th: 0qu Study‘lilifletitowns lh-lllgsind ’ nngomc “Tl erem] on by “Whining This naturalistic study considers not only the varied and changing social contexts, but also the varied and changing cultural contexts within which different women claim and construct knowledge. Specifically, this study qualitatively, biographically, and ethnographically describes and explores the learning experience of one woman at Gulshan University (GU) in Bangladesh with the specific intent of understanding how social and cultural contexts influence and shape her ways of knowing. The following three questions guided my research: I (1) What ways of knowing do women bring to GU? (2) What happens to these women's ways of knowing in the social context of their teachers' instructional practices? In other words, how do these women's ways of knowing evolve over time in their classroom contexts? (3) In what ways do other social and cultural contexts influence these - women students’ ways of knowing? Living in Bangladesh provided me with the opportunity to study women college students’ ways of knowing in an unfamiliar context; that is, to make the familiar unfamiliar. American culture is often ignored or invisible because of its familiarity to the researcher and the participants. While this is not a study of culture, studying this phenomenon in a new and different context helped to improve my understanding of the role that culture plays in influencing students’ ways of knowing. Geertz (1973) articulated this distinction by explaining, The locus of study is not the object of study. Anthropologists don’t study villages (tribes, towns, neighborhoods...); they study i_n villages. You can study different things in different places, and some things...you can best suny'inoonfimd localities. 31 remains (p.221 inlyprtheloaisofthissmdyzBai niymwommoollegesmdems' \ya insoangladeshlsmdiedipBan imngmmeoonfinedtommyori mmnlmdafimdingof mm.m0iam B; mmmlfigcabourthc “3131 mm: of hnwing in American study in confined localities. But that doesn’t make the place what it is you are studying. (p. 22) Simply put, the locus of this study, Bangladesh, is not the object of study. The object of study was women college students’ ways of knowing. I didn’t study the country or culture of Bangladesh; 1 studied i_n Bangladesh. I studied women college students’ ways of knowing in the confined locality of Dhaka, Bangladesh. Coming to an understanding of women's experiences in the somewhat exotic, and certainly unfamiliar, setting of a new Bangladeshi university will also contribute (by contrast) to knowledge about the ways that various social and cultural contexts shape students' ways of knowing in American universities. Properly done, comparative education can deepen understanding of our own education and society [italics added]; it can be of assistance to policymakers and administrators; and it can form a most valuable part of the education of teachers. Expressed another way, comparative education can help us to understand better our own past, locate ourselves more exactly in the present, and discern a little more clearly what our educational future may be [italics added]. These contributions can be made via work that is primarily descriptive as well as through work that seeks to be analytic or explanatory; through work that is limited to just one, or a very few, nations, as well as through work that embraces a wider scope; through work that relies on non-quantitative as well as quantitative data and methods; and through work that proceeds with explicitly fonnulated science paradigms in mind as well as in a less formalized manner. (Noah, 1984, p. 154) This study is about women’s ways of knowing and the various social and cultural contexts which influence and shape those ways of knowing. It is an attempt to contribute to the ongoing dialogue about how women see themselves as knowers, and how they act as knowers. Good students, good daughters: Girls and women struggling with voice and silence to meet social and cultural expectation , tells the story of one woman, Rahnuma, and how her ways of knowing have developed and changed over time and across mamh‘wlngmcmml mnwmiumabkwxm rnrdlm Rahnumalctmebca] err.tntnnlmbl"°’°‘h°‘ mmMasslrmggldl to m mmnmdrmks‘ 0‘ mmmmm mommidurlsscelhanscl“ lolmthnourlllldflmnding‘ll Satchwmnmmakemommg oft fanning... & Tarule. 1986; Pt itanything0mmbiasastotheI mmbmngtolmabot We at: not only defined or t contexts. By paying such close attention to one woman’s story, in a culture which was unfamiliar to me, Iwas able to see and hear things I might not otherwise have been able to see and hear. Rahnuma let me be a part of what are usually private conversations with herself. And thus, I was able to see how she came to know and express things, through voice and silence, as she struggled to meet social and cultural expectations. Hearing her experiences, and the sense she makes of them, has enhanced my understanding of how particular contexts, and their particular messages (in particular about ways of knowing), affect the way individuals see themselves and act as knowers. To further our understanding of women’s ways of knowing, it is essential that we listen to how women make meaning of their experience (Baxter Magolda, 1992; Belenky, Clinchy, Goldberger, & Tarule, 1986; Perry, 1970). Listening is difficult work, however, because we bring our own biases to the process and interpret what we hear through our own experiences. Listening to learn about ways of knowing is especially difficult because epistemologies are not easily defined or categorized. Rather, women’s ways of knowing are part of larger stories about their views of themselves and their views about learning. There are many ways to hear each woman’s story, for each woman’s life is a story about many things. This particular story is about ways of knowing; it is about how Ralmuma sees herself as coming to know and specifically the struggles she faces with voice and silence, self and other, as she tries to express what she knows. Definition of Terms and Concepts Although there is an increased interest in exploring the relational and interactional nature of cognition, context, and culture (Jacob, 1992), the task is still a challenging one, largely because of the elusiveness of these concepts. Thus, definitions of these terms are iorder. swarm focus oleu's mW'b'Wm mm As the lite kafim in a Fifi“) mmhM'.5“‘ll as the W m m mammals come w W Maximum byteacbcrs' in WMWB uith u Mlbclieve it more namvd)‘ me: 3mm SIIximLs equally com: mwwmethetum epistemol “7175' beliefs about knowledge: other “whoring, Inf OmbyBelmkyetal.‘s(l98 in order. Since the main focus of this study is students' cogm'tion, I will begin here. While cognition can be conceptualized in a variety of ways I am referring specifically to students' ways of knowing. As the literature indicates, ways of knowing can also be conceptualized and defined in a variety of ways. For the purposes of this study, I am referring to the students', as well as the teachers’, (1) beliefs about knowledge; (2) beliefs about themselves as knowers; and, more specifically, (3) enactment of these beliefs (i.e., the ways students actually come to know things, and the ways of knowing encouraged, supported, and rewarded by teachers’ instructional practices). The term epistemologies is sometimes used interchangeably with ways of knowing, but throughout the course of this research, I believe it more narrowly means beliefs about knowledge, and does not take into account how students actually come to know things, i.e., their actions as knowers. And thus, I try to use the term epistemologies only when referring to the students’ and teachers’ beliefs about knowledge; otherwise, I use it as one of the defining features .of ways of knowing. Informed by Belenky et al.’s (1986) study, it is essential to consider the concepts of Lice and my; when studying women’s ways of knowing. According to Richert (1992), “While the concept of voice has long been a part of the discourse of the academy and can be found in the literature of literary criticsim and psychology, for example, it has also reemerged in recent years as a central construct in feminist theory” (p. 189). Richert herself defines voice more narrowly than it is typically definied in the feminist work. For Richert, voice refers to the act of literal speaking. I, too, will use voice in this most literal sense; and in turn, I will use silence to mean the act of literally not speaking. Bewneofthis M35 focus 0 itimicemurebmdl) Voice is or lflm'spoinlofiievr(13¢kinky a al.. mofvoice [rips to both bung Mam pom: of ‘1'“- lvoioeislmabifit ‘° “PW millennium andll MW - the mimic ‘ hmm ideas in a clan mmdefinmm of \‘oiccl mkobekflmdmm M}? n“ hmpasomelm ofn'ew. 01’ [ha 1 “Rm-[mt chosen (or feel compI sullen sum to be a public voice. \ 5imoral voice, which is the actual ; am not mutually exclusi a, - . “Personal vonce public. but the “16 Concepts of context and cultt Dim - \- “d “Sill. are more difficult to def ill . (CohtflngIegel, 1991; Jacob 1992 whim °~8-, limb, 1982; Holland & “19 Word conteXt can be co “ills Deep“ Widler(1995) Because of this study’s focus on ways of knowing, however, it is also important to define voice more broadly. Voice is commonly used as an academic shorthand for a person’s point of View (Belenky et al., 1986, p. 18). MeElroy-Johnson’s (1993) discussion of voice helps to both bring together and distinguish between having and expressing a personal point of View. [Voice is] an ability to express a personal point view...[the ability] to respond to and become engaged with the material being studied, the other students in the classroom, and the teacher....Voice is the student’s participation in...the academic and intellectual process. It is the student’s desire to express ideas in a clear, coherent way....” (p. 85) With these definitions of voice in mind, it becomes clear that the notion of silence must also be defined more broadly. That is, women may be literally silent because they have no personal point of view, or they may be figuratively or metaphorically silent because they have chosen (or feel compelled) to not speak their personal point of view. Thus, there seems to be a public voice, which includes the actual act of speaking, aswell as a personal voice, which is the actual possession of a personal point of view. These voices are certainly not mutually exclusive, nor do they always coexist. Women can make their personal voice public, but their public voice is not always personal. The concepts of context and culture, despite the fact that these terms are used often and easily, are more difficult to define. Useful definitions are surprisingly hard to find (Cohen & Siegel, 1991; Jacob, 1992). In much research, the definitions are vague and elusive (e.g., Heath, 1982; Holland & Eisenhart, 1990). The word context can be conceptualized in many ways. As Cohen and Siegel (1991), Swidler (1995), and Young (1987) point out, context does not, or should not, consist of everything in the immediate environment of the phenomenon under study. In W’Ymman impomn“ whining“ "A mfli mamamisuhatevcr been ummmmmmi mfimxllS am of mlm ammfmd’m’d’" and i “W to. and shat has hag lesbianism needed 10 PM“ sm'mfirthuidmfifi' and dim specimens within which mar lflgelybmdonmysmdy oftw Wm 1995). it is clear mm m filthmcial commas Neumarml than which human interaction. particular, Young makes an important distinction between the concepts of "surroun " and "context" by saying that, “A surround is whatever is contiguous whether it bears on the event or not; a context is whatever bears on an event whether it is contiguous or not. Not only is not all of the surround context, but also not all of the contexts are in the smround....Context is a matter of relevance, not proximity" (p. 70). Young's distinction was helpful in focusing the study, and its subsequent analysis, on those things relevant to what is happening to, and what has happened to, the participants‘ ways of knowing. More focus, however, is still needed to prevent this study from becoming unwieldy; and thus, it is necessary to further identify and distinguish possible contexts. l have broadly defined two types of contexts, within which many other possible sub-contexts exist. Largely based on my study of two American women college students' ways of knowing (Welte, 1995), it is clear that the social context is critical. Specifically, I am defining thesocial context as Neumann (1995) does; that is, as "the human, relational setting, within which human interaction, and thereby, human cognition, occur, whether consistent with established cultural patterns or not" (p. 3). In this study, more narrowly defined, the social context is the specific teachinglleaming classroom context in which each student, her classmates, and teacher come together. Each teacher's national identity and gender are identified as part of this context. In addition, however, I also attended to the larger social setting of the university; i.e., the institutional context of GU. When I speak of the social context, however, I am only referring to those things in these social settings that are relevant to the participants’ experiences. Some of the things that my Study in the United States found to be part of the classroom context include: (1) the nature of the discipline and how one comes to know the discipline as construed by the mmnm- (2’ ‘1” “pm iahmdmh" a” M nmmthem “p HEW name oflhfl Mbmm for unde awlmam m” B mammalian: is diflm‘ f“ immune? This is W‘ :tmmnilmcowtpmalifing multlieveinordcrloom in a immhmdnaiculune is "a Si'stc 1mm which the members ofa hillbtilnowledge about and emit: Wondered beliefs about “u haelementary, secondary, and high m“lli‘tlatlelitiontogender Neumann 116mm] qualit) capturing gp; MEN“ Selling" (Ne ewnam student and the teacher, (2) the expectations and rewards as created and communicated by the teacher and understood by the student, (3) the expectations, motivations, and ability of the student to meet the understood expectations. The cross-cultural nature of this study made it immediately apparent that the cultural context is also critical for understanding women's ways of knowing. From first- hand experience I became aware that Bangladeshi culture is very different from American culture, and GU's culture is different from Michigan State University’s culture. But what do I mean by culture? This is perhaps the most elusive concept of all to define. lnforrned by Geertz (1973), I am conceptualizing and defining culture as “whatever it is one has to know or believe in order to operate in a manner acceptable to its members” (p. 11). Geertz explained that culture is "a system of inherited conceptions expressed in symbolic forms" through which the members of a community "communicate, perpetuate, and develop their knowledge about and attitudes toward life" (p. 89). In particular, I am. referring to the inherited beliefs about ways of knowing reflected by and in institutions such as elementary, secondary, and higher education, family, and religion, paying particular attention to gender. Neumann points out that, "Viewed this way, culture has a prominent temporal quality, capturing patterns of knowing (cognition) constructed over time within a social setting" (N eumann, 1995, p. 2). Finally, there is the research context. Cohen and Siegel (1991) and vaidler (1995) point out that the research study itself is a context of which the participants and I are a part. While it is important to take this context into consideration when interpreting Rahnuma’s story, it has been difficult determining in what ways this context actually influenced Rahnuma’s ways of knowing. As I will discuss in Chapter Three, this is one ammonia smdi'- 1" “dim mauolmofw‘hich I am a P‘ allurewfiflmmqflm to tell tr Ovem'e iorsa‘flalim l have been lis mimics This said} while it is limofjinmeofthcse stories. F 3m. Chantal“) ruins the lih mmnmums Stud}. 1 utilising litmne about how \ mmmw ways of knouing a stratum in the larger dis fihhmlw to come to WWW Women‘s ways of km WWW sum. Specifically mlthfing relevant upects of the cult ill me°°flhis dissertation is t llll, - . hgelymller 0WD Words l begin 8mm and “Images and “hot - , mlltll mg°fRahnuma’s my, I m ed thigh], Gil/mule y liar conte of the limitations of the study. In addition, it is important to describe and explore the contexts and cultures of which I am a part, and to consider their bearing on the study; and thus, I have written an epilogue to tell my story. Overview of the Contents For several years, I have been listening, informally and formally, to many women’s stories. This study, while it is informed and inspired by these other stories, is the telling of just one of these stories. Part One of this dissertation defines and situates this study. Chapter Two reviews the literature on ways of knowing informing my thinking and the design of this study. I pay particular attention to existing frameworks of ways of knowing, literature about how ways of knowing are socially constructed, and literature about how ways of knowing are culturally constructed. This section is intended to help situate this study in the larger discourse on ways of knowing. Chapter Three describes the methods I used to come to know and understand the influences of social and cultural context on women’s ways of knowing. In addition, this chapter discusses the larger contexts of the study, specifically Bangladesh and Gulshan University (GU), highlighting relevant aspects of the culture learned from all of my interviews of women at GU. Part Two of this dissertation is the heart of it; it is the telling of one woman’s Story, largely in her own words. I begin with an introduction to the nature of stories, their inherent strengths and weaknesses, and ask readers to read this as a story of Rahnuma’s ways of knowing. While the existing frameworks informed and guided my organization and telling of Rahnuma’s story, I stayed as close to Rahnuma’s words and interpretations as possible. Given the unfamiliar context of Bangladesh in which this study takes place, “'~-_=]9.q_a4ww :75ilthtmotcimponam that we allow rhiniingofnays of knowing as opt Rammed; Chapters] mmmmy about the soci Mm: ofknotting. Chapt imadetned look at how am mm. cm mflmed her way WOfRahnm's “mime: mmkm messages an fimmherflmm' and second; Pmlhrtc of this dimrjon is M In Chaim Sir. I Pmfidc a trilradiscusion of the implicatio, Woman Epilogue that reflects t tItofself'tn the social context of GU 10 it is all the more important that we allow the student’s experiences to guide our understanding of ways of knowing as opposed to forcing Rahnuma’s story into existing North American frameworks. Chapters Four and Five are the re-telling of Rahnuma’s story, organized as a story about the social and cultural contexts which have influenced and shaped her ways of knowing. Chapter Four introduces you to Rahnuma the student, and provides a detailed look at how the immediate and bounded social contexts of two of her university classes influenced her ways of knowing. Chapter Five enlarges our understanding of Rahnuma’s experience and ways of knowing in the classroom by discussing how the cultural messages and expectations communicated by her family, her religion, and her elementary and secondary education influenced her ways of knowing. Part Three of this dissertation is where I enter the story more explicitly and deliberately. In Chapter Six, I provide a summary of and reflection on Rahnuma’ 3 story, as well as a discussion of the implications of this study, both for practice and research. I conclude with an Epilogue that reflects on what happened to my ways of knowing and sense of self in the social context of GU and the cultural context of Bangladesh. memo BY 0THER Oamyfirstday of class 35 3 gm mm He m1 '1 “ant to hear 1‘??ch scared me. .\l_\ t'oécc...he v 173335??? Oh. I knew I that um tit filial BL: ttbcre did the \tords c ‘3? “it hey my feelings? Did I la YEW“ I 53)"? “hat would I mite moIthfard‘? This “719 my first introduction to hm“ hm spent much time. a w. I , of ways of knowing z Chapter 2 INFORMED BY OTHERS: SITUATING THE RESEARCH On my first day of class as a graduate student, the Professor, Robert Nash, was perfectly clear. He said, "I want to hear your distinct voice in your papers." And oh, how those words scared me. My voice...he wanted to hear my voice. I didn't know what my voice was!?‘. Oh, I knew I there were times when I had spoken loudly, and certainly passionately. But where did the words come from? Were they my words? Were they my ideas? Were they my feelings? Did I know why I was espousing such beliefs and values? What would I say? What would I write? What if no words came? What if there was no voice to be heard? This was my first introduction to the concept of ways of knowing. Over the past ten years I have been spent much time, as both a student and a teacher, trying to further my understanding of ways of knowing, and in particular women students’ ways of knowing. The following section, by providing you a glimpse of what I have read and thought about, will help you to begin to situate this research. First, because this is a study of women’s ways of knowing, I discuss the predominant theories about ways of knowing, paying particular attention to the issue of gender. Second, since I am interested in what happens to students’ ways of knowing in the social context of their teachers’ instructional practices, I discuss literature on epistemologies as relational contexts. Third, because I firm women’s my: of ltnom'ng :1,“de on mats of lino“ Existit Illa: are several “M98 framet mullege smdems' ways of knottil image name intellectual dc new of norm college student: Emerald Tarule's l l986l wort OI tannin study ofknowing and W and to the desigi of this 5 Est" mime we}: of butting- in t.(olleteSlltdents' Intellectual De \lilliam Fem-'5 (1968) work on : mHSCOftheir college experience we met. According to Roben White I ‘ r. - {WI and ethical development in t] Willie aItentloli with PBSpect to ir tiller ‘ “131 grthh ended at age eighteen ”the minds 0f Students over Wool] ' thtlonal (at the time) methOdO it. 12 have studied women’s ways of knowing in the unfamiliar cultural context of Bangladesh, Iconsider the literature on ways of knowing as culturally constructed. ‘ Existing Frameworks There are several existing fiameworks which have influenced my thinking about women college students’ ways of knowing. In particular, Perry’s (1968) pioneering study on male college students’ intellectual development, Clinchy and Zimrnerrnan’s (1982) parallel study of women college students’ intellectual development, Belenky, Clinchy, Goldberger, and Tarule’s (1986) work on women’s ways of knowing, and Baxter Magolda’s (1992) study of knowing and reasoning in college, have been central to my understanding and to the design of this study. They provide important insights into the nature of students’ ways of knowing. Pm: College Students’ Intellectual Development William Perry’s (1968) work on students’ ways of thinking and knowing during the course of their college experience was certainly groundbreaking both in method and substance. According to Robert White (who wrote the forward of Perry’s book, Forms of intellectual and ethical development in the college years), prior to 1968, the college years received little attention with respect to intellectual growth. Perry, not convinced that intellectual growth ended at age eighteen, attempted to know and understand what was happening in the minds of students over their four years of college. And he did so using an unconventional (at the time) methodology; that is, Perry "invites the students to think, taking their own time, doing it in their own way, choosing their own topics. And he listens..." (p. vi). Byliaanigtothuesmdans. P ntoftflingintheirwaysofm-s memmmm mummplwe in the thinkpmicnhor'conrmt’ unwound Waterman” (Perry. p. i fillilmeauietyofforms in “William: tin forms) in WI Whit) Pmyfocnsed on the transcendent “some developmatt oft “Mam sequence of Warm complex conception o lF'Sll‘tltsimplistic notions of absol “which opinions are seen as eq Ilievtewthathtowledge is com Moirefeleme (oomexmalism). F WMLSmdentswhoaremsoni “thermonsmuponwn 13 By listening to these students, Perry found that there was development in students' ways of thinking, in their ways of ways of knowing, and in particular in students' interpretations of their lives, during the course of their college experience. "The development we trace takes place in the forms in which a person perceives his world rather than in the particular or 'content' of his attitudes and concerns. The advantage in mapping development in the forms of seeing, knowing, and caring lies precisely in their transcendence over content" (Perry, p. ix). Although Perry agreed that, "Of course a person will use a variety of forms in construing different areas of his experience at any given time. However, we made the assumption in this study [which was validated by the outcome of the study] that within this variety it is possible to identify a dominant form (or central tendency among the forms) in which the person is currently interpreting his experience" (p. 3). Perry focused on the transcendence of students' ways of knowing over content, as well as the progressive development of these ways of knowing. He found that students move through a particular sequence of epistemological positions, each new position reflecting a more complex conception of knowledge, truth, and value. The sequence begins with simplistic notions of absolute right and wrong (dualism), moving through a stage in which opinions are seen as equally valid personal truths (multiplism), and ending With the view that knowledge is contextual, that is, that truth must be evaluated within a frame of reference (contextualism). Further development consists of the evolution of commitment. Students who are reasoning at the most advanced contextual level assume that all thought is contingent upon context. nnmtiflhgn’ (1982) 'began Ian‘sdetelonnanand to connect accustom-m studies findmnmhavedifferent mod 5&5me "the failure of illllhleidunifyinganimponmtd mmmmmodesorn meitllwomenisanempiri Wmnmmm illlltllttlistintztionbetweentwon1 Wonratlmttmtoiepmema Pflfinlarlyrclevanttomysmdy II‘ltt'ttlofllowwomenlindmcn(1W both sexes move away from etch lrwomen's develOPmmh ’ “-¢, ~-; ......» ..M ,1 14 While Perry’s research led the way in furthering our understanding of students’ ways of knowing, it became evident, at least to Carol Gilligan (1982), that Perry’s findings, based solely on the lives of male participants, did not generally apply to the lives of women. It was important to hear the voices of women so that we could make sense of their experiences as knowers. Gilligan: Listening to the Voices of Women After listening to both men and women talk about morality and themselves for over ten years, Gilligan (1982) "began to notice the recurrent problems in interpreting women's development and to connect these problems to the repeated exclusion of women from the critical theory-building studies of psychological research" (p. l). Gilligan found that men and women have different modes of thinking about relationships, and that these differences accounted for "the failure of women to fit existing models of human growth" (p. 2). While identifying an important difference between men and women, Gilligan characterized these different modes of thinking by theme and not by gender. The "association with women is an empirical observation....But this association is not absolute, and the contrasts between male and females voices are presented here to highlight a distinction between two modes of thought and to focus a problem of interpretation rather than to represent a generalization about either sex" (p. 2). Particularly relevant to my study of women’s ways of knowing is Gilligan's discussion of how women and men develop tolerance. The move toward tolerance that accompanies the abandonment of absolutes is considered by William Perry (1968) to chart the course of intellectual and ethical development during the early adult years....Though both sexes move away from absolutes in this time, the absolutes differ for each. In women's development, the absolute of care, defined initially as l‘nliyrcudndcdhermrtby new oftheir adult life“ h’sdemlqnm bad on their Emblem '5 not with women's develt momentum condition. an a Mr. uranium: pm rem Bhterlinchy and Claire Zimm homered: interests and work ht vong Perry’s intellectual and “MGiIIigannoted in her work. hemmendedpenys framewo morally gender, both ofthe Illertsultsoftlleirworlt,W11”c tmwnunnbuenw 15 not hurting others, becomes complicated through a recognition of the need for personal integrity. This recognition gives rise to the claim for equality embodied in the concept of rights, which changes the understanding of relationships and transforms the definition of care. For men, the absolutes of truth and fairness, defined by the concepts of equality and reciprocity, are called into question by experiences that demonstrate the existence of differences between other and self. (p. 166) In View of the evidence that women perceive and construe social reality differently from men and that these differences center around experiences of attachment and separation, life transitions that invariably engage these experiences can be expected to involve women in a distinctive way. (p. 171) Gilligan concluded her work by identifying the need to “delineate in women's own 1% the experience of their adult life” (p. 173). For it is essential that we not judge women's development based on their ability to fit existing male models of human growth. The problem is not with women's development, but rather with “a limitation in the conception of the human condition, an omission of certain truths about life" (p. 2). Clinchy and Zimmerman: Using Pefl's Framework with Women Blythe Clinchy and Claire Zimmerman‘s (1982) study of intellectual development brought together the interests and work of Perry (1968, 1970) and Gilligan (1977, 1978, 1979). Valuing Perry's intellectual and epistemological framework, but recognizing that women, as Gilligan noted in her work, were excluded from his study, Clinchy and Zimmerman extended Perry's framework to a sample of women. Although the studies were divided by gender, both of the studies involved an educationally privileged group of students. Perry's participants were from Harvard University, and Clinchy and Zimmerman‘s participants were from Wellesley College. The results of their work, while not radically different from Perry’s, provide us With some important, albeit subtle, theoretical developments. Clinchy and Zimmerman mhdfinmstmleuts hamleofl’eny’sand Cline Ihlkdifierumsinm'smd wmusmdemsmo Ilmgstllllds Ihemale mummmmttheknow limmunedniflimmmmm' ' 'ngl hymdmwmeofhissn lam. 'thatateacherhas: pumlopinion]...very few of [1 nnnninoisway]...ntesmdet MW shehadbetterfi 268) lhisfonlsonmaintainingrelati thictlpositionofwntextuali Mfittrr'lngourwllatttieteacher Mlittlolltwhattheguywantsand Wenhinthatsomefemale “VMtoneetneirteacbers' ex [Stiletto] begin by writing tttchcrs’ views: “It's safer 1“ 16 themselves describe their study as a "fuller and more precise articulation of Perry's, but there are real divergences at some points" (p. 163). In particular, the women in Clinchy and Zimmerman’s study seemed to come to know things more personally and subjectively; that is, the knowledge came from, or was at least made sense of, within the women’s own experiences as opposed to being defined objectively and externally by others. In addition, women students seemed to come to know things relationally. The following example of Peny’s and Clinchy and Zimmerman’s multiplistic knowers helps to illustrate the difierences in men’s and women’s ways of knowing. In both cases, as multiplistic knowers, the students are often frustrated by teachers who evaluate their work by imposing standards. The male students, however, seem to be more concerned with themselves and whether or not the knowledge is “right,” while the female students seem to be more concerned with maintaining relationships. Perry reports that some of his students dig in their heels at this position [and maintain that a teacher has no criteria with which to judge his personal opinion]...very few of [Clinchy and Zimmerman's students respond in this way]...The student realizes that if she is to survive in this environment, she had better figure out what 'they' [the teachers] want. (p. 268) This focus on maintaining relationships becomes even more evident in the next epistemological position of contextualism, when students become preoccupied with the task of figuring out what the teacher wants. One student described her situation as "find[ing] out what the guy wants and giv[ing] it to him" (p. 268). Clinchy and Zimmerman explain that some female students are willing to give up their own ideas, their voices, to meet their teachers’ expectations and to avoid negative consequences. [Students] begin by writing papers that are slavish imitations of her teachers’ views: “It's safer if I repeat exactly what she said.” But this is ndmyswbhnordosit I'hklningdzmfim‘ork imidulifiimponmcx um lnpnnnllmnen enmmnmm Moddinformcd bytheeep ttotalitarianainllillrnmle(198:5 IihiSndcomingfiomavariety ofet Winnie sinnnons (cg. lhaantselfmd relationship are hi “carnelian, "have tried to h Millstone [they] heard than" (I ‘lllfimtlfwomen's epistemologic Wit defining and/or categorizing hint. 17 not always possible, nor does it seem to be what is wanted....Students at this position believe that each teacher has an arbitrary, idiosyncratic way of thinking. The professors' approaches have no objective value; they are simply styles. Teachers try to inflict their personal styles on students. Many students feel angry and helpless. “It's a case of writing a paper to please a teacher....” Many students do find themselves thinking as their teachers do, and it scares them....The student feels she has lost her own voice and is beginning to speak in teachers' voices. “Sometimes you have to sacrifice. If you really want a good grade, and you know what the teacher wants, sometimes you have to sacrifice your own thoughts.” (pp. 268—269) While using the same fiarnework which Perry used for his male students, Clinchy and Zimmerman identify important experiential and interpretive difference amongst their female students. In particular, their concern with relationship and their struggle with voice will become central in future studies, including my own. Belem, Clinchy, Goldberger, and Tarule: Women's Ways of Knowing Inspired and informed by these previous studies, Mary Belenky, Blythe Clinchy, Nancy Goldberger, and Jill Tarule (1986) interviewed 135 women, ranging in age from 16 to 65 and coming from a variety of ethnic, class, educational, and religious backgrounds and life situations (e. g., marital status). It is in their well-known study, Women’s ways of knowing: The development of self, voice, and mind, that the notions of voice and self and relationship are highlighted and explored further. Belenky et a1., like Perry and Gilligan, "have tried to honor and give voice to [the women's words] by presenting them as [they] heard them" (preface). Furthermore, they attempted to provide a fuller sense of women’s epistemological development by telling the women's stories as Opposed to defining and/or categorizing their ways of knowing according to Perry’s framework. Baccdonlhe women‘s stories Be mmwm and voiceless (sile mm voices and authorities I internal knowingt to a position “‘ aim the new knosledgc 35 F njoahliet' that knowing involves l fltrégetheyhat‘e loaned from other. lihtmeachpetspoctive can b Sitthchnoblems of self and otl z“tiltedthrough"(p.134). we there are some similarities New Silmmoeitcd knowing 2: MW hWing and cc 2““ 3" SIEUifimnt Most impol Billion conceptions of knowledge, Wight - tttcite trill]: Rammg on concept Choc. Forth: modems “the with iSSues of self and other, c ‘ . Cl all study) hOWever 1 8 Based on the women’s stories, Belenky et al. described women as moving from a position that is selfless and voiceless (silent knowers), to a position where women rely solely on external voices and authorities to define themselves and their world (received and procedural knowing), to a position where women rely solely on their own internal voices because they view knowledge as private and personal (subjective knowing), and finally to a belief that knowing involves integrating their personal knowledge with the knowledge they have learned from others (constructed knowers). According to Belenky et al., "In a sense, each perspective can be thought of as providing a new, unique training ground in which problems of self and other, inner and outer authority, voice and silence can be worked through" (p. 134). While there are some similarities to Perry's schema, (e.g., comparisons can be made between silent/received knowing and dualism, between subjective knowing and multiplicity, constructed knowing and contextualism), the differences between the two fi‘ameworks are significant. Most importantly, the men's ways of knowing involved reflecting on conceptions of knowledge, truth, and values, whereas women‘s ways of knowing involved reflecting on conceptions of self and other, inner and outer authority, and voice and silence. For the students in Perry’s study, there did not appear to be struggles with issues of self and other, or voice and silence. For the women in the Belenky et al. study, however, knowing was a constant struggle between, on the one hand, t1Ting to please others and measuring up to external standards, and on the other hand, flying to please oneself and measuring up to cne’s own standards. This struggle was described as a struggle between one’s own voice (speaking one’s own truth), others’ voices (speaking the truth of others), and silence (not speaking at all). 24W lhcia Banner Magolda ( 19921 P“ whim in a four-year 1009““ MW MW during colic W Writes and the P055 WNW mung expencn stream was of knowing reflecu tinny ofhiottiedge. She describe trampoline timers). to viewing mlmm boners l. to \‘ievti Q’tttilid finalh to a belief that knot Emoticons). (h . . . . WWI-ImitationsofExistin Fr. “ n me their are some variations i V Ww.aw "w“ 19 Baxter Mpgolda: Studfl'pg Women and Men’s Ways of Knowing Marcia Baxter Magolda (1992) provides another perspective on students' ways of knong developed in a four-year longitudinal study of both women's and men's epistemological development during college. The study explored 101 students' epistemological perspectives and the possibility of gender differences, and their perceptions of specific academic experiences. Baxter Magolda found that both male and female students’ ways of knowing reflected different conceptions of the nature, limits, and certainty of knowledge. She describes students as moving from viewing knowledge as certain (absolute knowers), to viewing knowledge as partially certain and partially uncertain (transitional knowers), to viewing knowledge as uncertain (independent knowers), and finally to a belief that knowledge depends on evidence in context (contextual knowers). Summg and Limitations of Existing Frameworks While there are some variations in these theoretical perspectives, each of these authors claim that there are qualitatively different ways of knowing for students. Each of these ways of knowing leads to particular expectations of the learner, peers, and instructor in classroom contexts, as well as to particular understandings of the subject matter and how learning should be evaluated. All of these studies allude to the context-dependent nature of the development of ways of knowing, yet spend little time actually describing and exploring the ways in which contexts influence and shape women’s ways of knowing. Instead, these studies seem to characterize students as different types of knowers; that is, they describe students as manifesting one way of knowing at a time. The students develop increasingly complex epistemological perspectives ontogenetically (over the mdafiffim). This cmmio mm In [mm m Cpi Wm, mlogiml beliefs m that; the “‘0 ”0‘ “I“ applets; teachers and PW“ an: :1th “mm mm ‘ ifxrmmmfitt‘t ln othcr “0m 5“ mm W as bring affected huhdmofthc existing tram 2mm criticisms leveled agaim {tillmwfl in more detail. and \\ Emitting; I believe it is necess Whether frantework. The follc ngeofcsscntialism, n’nich clai , mdllnngdisunctivc. and 20 course of a lifespan). This characterization suggests that students' ways of knowing transcend context. In particular, these epistemological theories and frameworks do not view the students' epistemological beliefs and practices as interactive, intersubjective, or interdependent. That is, they do not take into account the students' relationships with other people (e.g., teachers and peers) and with knowledge (e.g., subject matter); nor do they consider the larger cultural contexts of which the student is a part (e.g., family and religious community). In other words, students' epistemological beliefs and practices are not adequately depicted as being affected by their social or cultural contexts. My criticism of the existing frameworks being stagelike and context-independent is just one of the criticisms leveled against these authors. Because I later discuss Belenky et al.’s ( 1986) work in more detail, and want to provide you with the ability to critique my claims and findings, I believe it is necessary for me to provide an overview of the limitations of their framework. The following are the five major criticisms of their work: (1) the charge of essentialism, which claims that the five categories/perspectives for ways of knowing are enduring, distinctive, and possibly biologically based sex differences (Hare-Mustin & Marecek, 1990; Bordo, 1990; Morawski, 1994); (2) the charge of “white feminism,” which claims that the experiences and perspectives of members of society who are marginalized by race or class are not well represented in the conceptual framework of much of feminist theory, including Belenky et al.’s framework (Boyd, 1990; Brown, 1990; Collins, 1991; Greene, 1994; Reid & Kelly, 1994); (3) the charge of devaluing reason, which claims that Belenky et al. believe and endorse the superiority of antirationalist, subjectivist epistemologies (Code, 1991; Patai & Koertge, 1994); (4) the Charge, whichl have made, of presenting ways of knowing as developmental, which gichknh’ a al.‘s five knowledge [mm mm (DebOId. To ‘itiifillrrclatedchargc of idaliang l Wilhelm and present oonsuuc WW: 1991; Harding. 1996 am to m that “in: 0 3mm against their “mt, (h, “Won of their origina meterotanmuon to the 1m tam», Hm. “in?“ now on whm motiv; Timm‘belicved (and still dc Wand Political @3805. u momma“ and Manes.... Fix“ mom It“ ‘38:! culn WW HVCS (now Called “posi 01L. and made Mira] .1“ th it believed W somc of the lmrfihnic bag v-w—i ...- . ‘< ..-.— ) . 21 claims that Belenky et al.’s five knowledge perspectives represent a stagelike developmental sequence (Debold, Tolman, & Brown, 1996; Goldberger, 1996; Ruddick, 1996); (5) the related charge of idealizing constructed knowing, which claims that Belenky et al. believe and present constructed knowing to be a superior or ideal epistemology (Code, 1991; Harding, 1996; Ruddick, 1996). It is important to note that while Goldberger and her colleagues (1996) agree with some of the charges against their work, they disagree with others, believing that they are based on misinterpretation of their original work. In particular, Goldberger et al. (1996) recognize their lack of attention to the larger cultural, social, and political context of individual women’s lives. Looking back now on what motivated our work in the mid-19805, it is clear that we believed (and still do) that gender is a major social, historical, and political category that affects the life choices of all women in all communities and cultures....Thus, in our analysis of women’s life stories, we allowed the larger cultural, social, and political context of individual lives (now called “positionality”) to recede as we focused instead on, and made central in the text, five knowledge perspectives that we believed captured some of the major ways women (regardless of class, race, or ethnic background) think about themselves, authorities, truth, and life options. We did not discuss our findings in terms of class, racial or ethnic differences among the women, a decision that seemed reasonable at the time, given our relatively small and nonrepresentative sample and qualitative research methodology that does not lend itself to comparative statements and conclusions. Let us listen to the voices of diverse women, we thought, to hear what they say about the varieties of female experience before we move to generalizations about differences among them that are related to class, race, ethnicity, or other social distinctions. (p. 4) Fortunately, many educators, including myself, have learned much from Belenky et al.’s findings, despite the criticisms and limitations of their work. We must recognizing both the strengths and weaknesses of others’ work if we hope to expand the discourse on Women’s ways of knowing in thoughtful and thought-provoking ways. Wm “Know: ‘ WWW "5 “pm at dis ntmotm' and 1“ Imp-mind! oominuing Mic madame fir Wins ”3"” :sin’smonllm ‘55 coming tog: magmas mica“! d“ mdarthdonship. 0r relationslr Wham and not neces imam objeas that are imcn ruminating and teach: Ethnicitar epistemological has: iiifitiiswndogical configmanom Mmmdhcrleg, a received 51 “memenmimaduansi .1 22 Ways of Knowing as Socially Constructed Nona Lyons helps us expand the discourse on women’s ways of knowing with her work on the interaction of students’ and teachers’ epistemologies. Lyons (1990) contends that it is imperative in our continuing studies of epistemological development that we recognize and explore the "coming together" of students' an_d teachers' ways of knowing. It is Lyon's coutention that this coming together of ways of knowing is at the heart of understanding students' epistemological development. In other words, it is the development of a relationship, or relationships, that is at the heart of students' epistemological development, and not necessarily, or solely, ontogenetic development. "Like a set of dynamic objects that are interacting with one another, although each is distinct in its own right, students and teachers come together in a special relationship in learning, having a clear epistemological basis" (Lyons, p.173). Lyons also points out that the different epistemological configurations created by students' and teachers' ways of knowing coming together (e. g., a received student knower with a constructed teacher knower; a multiplistic student with a dualistic teacher) will result in many different outcomes in terms of student learning and teacher pedagogy (p. 174). In essence, Lyons introduced the idea that teachers are more than just "responsive" to their students' ways of knOWing as Baxter Magolda claims; on the contrary, teachers, by the very nature of the teafilling/learning context, are very much co-creators of their students' ways of knowing. The work of Howard Becker, Blanche Geer, and Everett Hughes (1968) and Powell, Farrar, and Cohen (1985), as well as my own experiences as a teacher and a Student, fLu'ther informed my thinking about the relational, and thus context-dependent, Katine of ways of knowing. Becker et al. describe the teaching-learning situation, or film'amOfmuds mum'Mthgmloi mmnmamwm ammsmMum a lhdmoinyclmoom indi W am when the 1975.; 75) mmofiflm is happl Imflhmidmtsm perm fireman-desire. Powell a hesitation-um- studenls an r{illithiahtliey will engage in or avo Mmmmimdwm can Iliill'nhewuysofknowing that imam ofthcsc au hummways ofknowing o llintuitionsas.aroma inultimatum:icmwmind ho“ ‘mmaumtknowwhm iieagoodpade'zsmmmtbe no Whammuymgumem 23 relationship, as the "exchange of rewards for performance, rather than as some kind of educational process" (p. 63). The goal of the students, according to Becker et al., is to discover what the professor wants so that they can do what is necessary to achieve the desired grade. This is made more difficult because of the uniqueness of each classroom’s culture. The culture of any classroom indicates to students who should talk, how much they should talk, what kinds of things they should say, how they should say them, and what the consequences of behaving appropriately or otherwise....The demands for knowledge vary, as do the other demands, from class to class. Different kinds of assignments call for different kinds of knowledge, even when the subject matter is the same. (Becker et al., 1975, p. 75) This interpretation of what is happening in the classroom helped me to consider the possibility that students are performing particular ways of knowmg in an attempt to receive the rewards they desire. Powell et al. (1985) describe the classroom interaction as a "treaty negotiation " whereby students and teachers negotiate, implicitly or explicitly, the degree to which they will engage in or avoid learning. Similarly, this concept helped me to consider that students and teachers can and probably do negotiate, implicitly or explicitly, the ways of knowing that students should use. In general, the work of these authors helped me to consider the possibility that Students use particular ways of knowing only in particular contexts. It occurred to me that who the student is as a knower depends on not only what she is coming to know, but also on who wants her to know it and how they want her to know it. Student comments and questions such as, "I don't know what you (teacher) want," and, "What do I need to do to get a good grade?," are more the norm than the exception. Becker et al. (1968) eXplain that students try to get the grades they desire "by fulfilling in one way or another dtmamhetktel olptoft ' militia: proficient his treat-mt: technetium mitr Assudmts mandate diff Miriam the sane teacher Mmofhming to meet I!!! Emu ml Can! Gilli mmfiiptdnebp the ways Wm According to Wm girls and com 5 “whoring. in an effort t Wk connection and man: Whological development at l‘5 ll-l hm mailed, contint andttlllltwcrnen silence then ll!!! risk open conflict and dis Violette (p. 3) Forgirls at adolescence to sa means to risk..losing their re wan alone. (p. 217) lltitular!Gilligan describe this p ”Moonsciously giving up relatio “totes lhecemral paradox we will sake of “Relationships” - is aware. Psychologicdly. girls toknow,inpartbecause they 24 and at one or another level of proficiency the requirements the instructor sets for the course....The more proficient his performance, the higher the resulting grade" (p. 63). This theory about the teacher-student relationship prompted me to ask the following question: As students negotiate different treaties with different teachers, and even at different times with the same teacher, are these students using (and possibly developing) particular ways of knowing to meet their interpretations of each teacher's expectations? Lyn Brown and Carol Gilligan (1992) posed another theory to explain why women may adopt/develop the ways of knong supported and accepted by their teachers' instructional practices. According to Brown and Gilligan's study of adolescent girls becoming women, girls and women sometimes silence themselves, or allow themselves to be silenced by others, in an effort to maintain relationships with others. While connection and responsive relationships are central to women's psychological development and to women's ways of knowing, as Belenky [et al.] have described, continuing observations suggest that adolescent and adult women silence themselves or are silenced in relationships rather than risk open conflict and disagreement that might lead to isolation or to violence. (p. 3) For girls at adolescence to say what they are feeling and thinking often means to risk...losing their relationships and finding themselves powerless and all alone. (p. 217) Brown and Gilligan describe this phenomenon as a paradox, for it involves girls and women consciously giving up relationships with themselves to maintain “Relationships” with others. The central paradox we will explore -- the giving up of relationship for the sake of “Relationships” -— is a paradox of which girls themselves are aware. Psychologically, girls know what they are doing and then need not to know, in part because they can see no alternative. (p. 7) hhksshecapimlatestothe pr 10M. removes herself: Idllmship. (pp. 112-113) l‘tltillbeacademically was? Mas Brown and Gilligan claim. Attention to In the chapter entitled, “Noura: Knowing and Not Knowing,” Brown and Gilligan described how Noura's struggles about relationships are also struggles about knowing. If Noura says what she feels and disagrees with her friends, she risks being ridiculed, talked about, and rejected; if she holds back what she feels and thinks, she colludes in behavior she knows from experience will hurt people and is unreal or false. In the deepest sense this is a struggle about relationship and about knong -- what can Noura know and say and still be in connection with other people? What should she ignore or not know for the sake of "relationships"?...Noura avoids these risks by speaking in measured tones, sometimes qualifying her thoughts and feelings —— "not disagreeing with them totally" -- and sometimes hiding what she feels and thinks under the guise of not knowing -- "Sometimes I say, 'I don't know,’ just to cover it up." In this way, Noura finds she can protect herself by thinking one thing and saying another, by doubling her voice, being, in a sense, two people -- one private and honest, one public and acceptable. But while Noura finally comes to a precarious compromise that allows her to stay with herself privately without jeopardizing herself in the eyes of her friends -- "I would tell them," she says, "sometimes it‘s true, but not always" -— "going along with" those friends brings Noura dangerously close to disconnecting from herself and what she really feels and thinks...And so, although Noura feels what she feels and knows what she thinks, she capitulates to the pressure from her friends not to know and not to speak...she removes herself from the relationship for the sake of ' relationship. (pp. 112-1 13) Do undergraduate women perceive a similar risk? Does saying what they are feeling and thinking mean risking the loss of their relationships, in particular with their teachers, and finding themselves powerless and all alone? Do these women give up their relational/personal ways of knowing and their beliefs in themselves as knowers and constructors of knowledge to maintain a positive relationship with their teachers so that they will be academically successful? Or is this desire to maintain a relationship with OtherS, as Brown and Gilligan claim, about being connected and cared for? The First Study: Paying Attention to Social Context Together these theories prompted me to conduct research of my own about what was happening to two American female college students' ways of knowing in interaction itndmwmt pried/$195). MMmedluliamd Mnidlmmrmiddlechs ”Maxim inl nmhppmngtodnirvmyofkn hilt) laboimemimdeach of) thttdrllyltermsofwhnt we rmmmnmdm iih’kthefolloningtlneeclnin Nbdereslndarts' ways ofkn immensity-tum ll) Collagen-dents should I: lhfl'lgmppoeed to being elm Whendrmastudembeoom or"bfltlmtrnnypilotresearchsuppe llmltsttatemcretlnnone way of tiletreofsrverttldifferent waysof Wmmmwtedge from “Mundane, relying on her Millennium) about Womofhistoryand educatio NW sou-cos. The story of Kri KnI‘llll’sreptt'toire of ways of km ' Minor, relying on her own perso lulllllgtietsonal connections with 0 26 with the ways of knowing encouraged and rewarded by their teachers’ instructional practices (W elte, 1995). Both students, named Julia and Kristin, were twenty years-old, American, Caucasian, middle to upper middle class women. They were both juniors majoring in elementary education and minoring in history. I met with each student weekly to discuss what was happening to their way of knowing in two of their classes (history and teacher education). I also interveiwed each of their teachers to better understand each classroom context, especially in terms of what ways of knowing were being supported, encouraged, and rewarded, intentionally and unintentionally. While the following three claims are listed separately, the reality of what happened to these students’ ways of knowing in the context of each of their teachers’ instructional practices is greatly intertwined. (1) College students should be characterized as having a set of potential ways of knowing as opposed to being characterized as one type of knower. Contrary to the prevailing view that a student becomes a different type of knower at each stage of her college career, my pilot research supports the claim that a college student can possess and demonstrate more than one way of knowing at the same time. Julia, for example, showed evidence of several different ways of knowing both within and across classroom contexts, including receiving knowledge from her history professor, adopting others’ ideas in her teacher education class, relying on her own personal knowledge (e.g., experiences, observations, and intuitions) about teaching and learning, and constructing her own interpretations of history and education by drawing on knowledge from both personal and professional sources. The story of Kristin also provided evidence to support this claim. Kristin’s repertoire of ways of knowing included receiving knowledge from her history professor, relying on her own personal knowledge as well as using relational knowing (making personal connections with others’ ideas and experiences) in her teacher 27 education class, and trying to construct her own interpretations of history and education by drawing on knowledge from both personal and professional sources. (2) College students' ways of knowing are highly context-dependent. The variation asserted in the first claim resulted from particular ways of knowing emerging across classroom contexts, as well as different ways of knowing emerging within one classroom context. Both Julia and Kristin described the subject matter, and the process of coming to know that subject matter, as different in history versus education. Both students believed they were much more able to think independently, and to develop their own understandings of the course ideas, in teacher education as compared to history. Julia, for example, described education as "very personalized" knowledge. This belief, in combination with her experience as a student, resulted in her feeling confident in her ability to develop her own ideas about teaching and learning. Julia's epistemological beliefs about knowing about teaching and learning support Lortie's (1975) theory that students learn how to teach through an "apprenticeship of observation." In other words, Julia believed that knowing about teaching and learning involves knowing her personal experiences as a student and observer of teachers. The readings may have helped her to develop a more extensive vocabulary for talking about the discipline, but most, if not all, of the ideas in the readings seemed familiar to her. In contrast, Julia believed that learning history required possessing knowledge and vocabulary not familiar to her. Julia viewed history as a body of knowledge (i.e., information and vocabulary) that she must get from others who are more knowledgeable. Julia saw the knowledge of the discipline of history as being defined by others; it was not something she could derive from her own experiences and/or observations as she could in education. So, unlike in teacher education where she wanted to, and believed she could, rely on her own personal knowledge, in history, Julia wanted to acquire all the knowledge from external sources, experts in the field, such as her teachers, books, study sheets, etc; it was from these outside sources that she developed her own understandings of history. 28 This example highlights the role that subject matter can play in defining the context, and thus in influencing students' ways of knowing, both in terms of beliefs and practices. (3) College students demonstrate, and possibly develop, particular ways of knowing in response to the ways of knowing encouraged and rewarded by each of their teacher's instructional practices. While Julia's story alone may suggest disciplinary or subject-based differences in students' learning, the comparative case of Kristin suggest that teachers’ instructional practices may also represent powerful contexts for students’ learning. An examination of Julia's and Kristin's stories show the importance of pedagogical practices as context. Teachers‘ instructional practices, and their underlying epistemological assumptions, can be seen as contexts within which students shift in their ways of knowing. More specifically, Julia's and Kristin's stories suggest that students attempt to meet each teacher's expectations "by fulfilling in one way or another and at one or another level of proficiency the requirements the instructor sets for the course" (Becker et al., 1968, p. 63). Thus, different teachers' instructional practices, even within the same discipline or subject, may engender different ways of knowing. One history teacher, for example, may present history as a body of absolute facts that exists separate of the student/knower, thus requiring students to receive this knowledge as the truth. Another history teacher, however, may view history as interpretive and socially constructed, and thus require students to discuss and develop their own interpretations of historical events. This is just the case with J ulia‘s and Kristin's history teachers. Julia's history professor, Carla, viewed her introductory history .‘ir: “- ~\..‘. ~\L,‘. L‘s \q‘ 1534: 29 class as the foundation of historical knowledge and thinking, and thus she wanted her students to receive this foundation from her and the texts she provided. In turn, over the course of the semester, Julia came to View history as a discipline in which she first needed a body of knowledge and vocabulary. Unfamiliar with the basic information and vocabulary, Julia tried to acquire, or receive, this foundation of knowledge from outside authorities such as her teacher and her texts. Kristin's history professor, George, however, believedpthat history was producing interpretations of what happened in the past by using the sources that gave rise to historical myths. George did not see teaching history as providing his students with historical information. He believed that 99% of his students were not history majors, and thus he approached this introductory course as an opportunity to help his students to develop critical drinking skills. While George rewarded those students who learned to think critically and constructively, it was possible for students who just received and, adopted his ideas to pass the class. Consequently, Kristin, who was only interested in getting a passing grade, focused on just receiving the knowledge from George. By meeting her teacher's expectations at a low level of proficiency (Becker et al., 1968), she was rewarded accordingly with a low grade of a 2.0. Similarly, Julia's and Kristin's teacher education professors held different beliefs about teacher education and about learning teacher education, and thus Julia and Kristin were rewarded for using different ways of knowing. Julia's teacher education professor, Susan, believed that learning about teaching involved trying on others’ ideas. Consequently, she taught her class by requiring her students to try on the language and ideas of others. In turn, over the course of the semester, Julia became increasingly .... mi”? ....».-..— - 30 proficient at thinking and writing about teaching by interpreting her ideas through the ideas and vocabulary of others (social voice). In contrast, Kristin's teacher education professor, Matthew, believed that learning about teaching involved "making sense of our own experiences and fitting them into our mental model of the world." He believed that evidence was derived from students' careful observations and insights. Consequently, Matthew taught his class by focusing on the students’ personal knowledge, asking his students to see themselves as sources of knowledge and to use this personal knowledge to make connections with others' experiences. In turn, Kristin relied almost solely on her own subjective experiences, observations, and intuitions to learn about teaching, as opposed to relying on outside sources as Julia did. These interactions between teachers' discipline and epistemology suggest that teachers' instructional practices are an important influence on the ways of knowing that students develop in diverse disciplines. Together these claims, derived from interviews, classroom observations, and analysis of course materials, suggest that students' ways of knowing are created and maintained within changing, interactive, and relational contexts. Just as Becker et a1. (1968), Powell, Farrar, and Cohen (1985), and Goodnow (1990) suggested, cognition, and specifically ways of knowing, are socialized through expectations, treaties, and rewards. In particular, each teacher's instructional practices influence students' ways of knowing, at least in practice (and possibly as espoused), because students are rewarded for meeting each of their teachers' expectations in certain ways and at certain levels of proficiency. Consequently, sometimes students adopt (practice), and may even develop (believe and 7____— 31 value), the particular ways of knowing encouraged and rewarded by each of their teacher's instructional practices because they want to get good grades. If this is indeed the case, as this study suggested, then it is not surprising that college students' ways of knowing are greatly affected by the course-specific social contexts in which they participate. Welte’s 1995 Relational Framework Informed by the aforementioned frameworks and 1995 study, I developed a fi'amework for thinking about students’ ways of knowing that made more sense to me at the time. These two women’s stories about their ways of knowing, or more specifically the way that I heard their stories at the time, highlighted tensions between self and other, choice and expectation, inside and outside knowledge, internal and external authorities, mind and body, knowing and doing, reason and emotion, reflective and unreflective. The following categories/perspectives emerged: Relationship with other( 5 l- One way of knowing involves an objective relationship with others and things outside of yourself. The knowledge exists outside yourself, and is defined by others. The way to come to know is to distance yourself from that which you wish to know, and to receive and absorb or acquire that externally defined body of knowledge. This is similar to Belenky et al.’s (1986) category of received knowledge, and Freire's (1983) "banking" concept of education in which the information/knowledge is deposited into students heads by the all-knowing authority/teacher. Knowledge is consensual and communal and defined, and there is no sense that you are a knowing subject, i.e., that you know things too. The self would be considered a "contaminant" to knowing. Knowing is equivalent to acquisition and memorization. , ”N»M“-I W Onc W6.“ gramme ofi‘m'f' and maths: mm‘ Th< militiamen. This is a verys $er and W- The rhmmhmtcommlmal- This anytime knomdgt Wig niches both the self and othc Erna: While I described the focm 3mm] amen of this way of 1 limit self. as opposed to outsid: 35m: to you n opposed to being W 30. I don't see this "integrate 'flmumide hinting" ( focus on 0 tin" - . self/made knowmg" (f0cus C tn, ' . . me“negation of inside and c , ,«v' 32 Relationship with self. One way of knowing involves only the self. The knowledge exists inside of yourself, and is solely defined by one's experiences and understanding of those experiences. The way to come to know is through your feelings, thoughts, intuitions, etc. This is a very subjective or relativistic way of knowing. It is totally individualistic and personal. There is no relationship with knowledge outside your self for knowing is not communal. This way of knowing parallels Belenky et al.’s (1986) category of subjective knowledge. Relationship with self and other: An integgated way of knowing. A third way of knowing involves both the self and others, or both inside knowledge and outside knowledge. While I described the focus as integration, which I believe is an important/central aspect of this way of knowing, you still ultimately come to know through your self, as opposed to outside your self. That is, the knowledge is defined as it makes sense to you as opposed to being defined as it makes sense to someone outside your self. So, I don't see this "integrated knowing" as a simple, or equal, coming together of "other/outside knowing" (focus on other/outside sources of knowledge/exclusion of the self) and "self/inside knowing" (focus on self/inside sources of knowledge/exclusion of others). The integration of inside and outside knowledge is personal and individualistic, yet it is also communal, and if not consensual, then at least connected to others. In other words, integrated knowers use knowledge originating outside themselves to make more sense of, to better understand, knowledge inside themselves, and they use knowledge inside themselves to make more sense of, and better understand, knowledge outside themselves. Knowledge derived internally and externally both count as valid and valuable sources of knowing and understanding. “Imam-wig Misdmgmtdul of reset “mammal conic: ”19%me I993; 1 Wm 19891 Time ainhms en Wham-aid imuunionsi Mum-(1990i inn “TWMM' learn to solve “mm and what oou “(111591 Similarly. I believe i Ishmmysofmm mi mimorhowiedge and way 35mm the curriculur WWMM (ma: “hithmledgeuoonflict ofien ta] iwbIleounisfor knowledge” (p. 40). Tl‘11-'|0d¢0fltiiovvingthatdominance W'mdmeqmtlyi sum 5'” “when always been taught hemmmmeiipeisonai livc '“llwlive,” "analytical," and "expcrim -‘a§+:a..z M. .....w ” 33 Ways of Knowing as Culturally Constructed There is also a great deal of research that helps me to consider that not only do the immediate relational contexts influence a student's epistemological beliefs and practices, but so too does the larger cultural context of which the student is a part (F reire, 1989; Goodnow, 1990; Hollingsworth, 1993; Labouvie-Vief, 1990; O'Loughlin, 1990; Palmer, 1987; Tierney, 1989). These authors emphasize the importance of considering the range of cultural phenomena and institutions when making sense of students' ways of knowing. Jacqueline Goodnow (1990) introduced me to the idea that cognition is socialized; that is, "We do not simply learn to solve problems. We learn also what problems are considered worth solving, and what counts as an elegant rather than simply an acceptable solution" (p. 259). Similarly, I believe that ways of knowing are socialized as well; that is, we learn what ways of knowing are worth using. William Tierney (1989) suggests that culture, in terms of knowledge and ways of knowing, gets expressed in organizations of higher education through the curriculum. And thus, "the curriculum may be viewed as a site where oppositional discourses [may] take place about the nature and content of academic knowledge...conflict often takes place because of competing cultural definitions of what counts for knowledge“ (p. 40). Parker Palmer (1987), for example, claims that, "The mode of knowing that dominates higher education [in the United States is] objectivism," and consequently, Students are taught to “look at reality through objectivist lenses. They have always been taught about a world out there somewhere apart from them, divorced from their personal lives" (p. 22). In other words, students learn "objective," "analytical," and "experimenta " ways of knowing through schooling; they mummies from that v infinmdmipulm the obj (Balsamic-Vie“ 1990) sit timmlleuml tradition. [oogr imam. objective. and logic: Madame ones‘ (p. 52 “lineman modes of k hi‘mi'lo value one mode < Eindictments in exclusion of M Housifi’icfdescriba “MM the course of our [‘ Mable connoversy over 1 mewmitive functioning f Whimsy to adopt a re loliectilc knowing] provides a "011m [Emotive knowing] 0 “on of logos (p. 56) SmdnHollingswonh (1993) c ”murmurs: ways ofkn than: “judged as less valuable l brlmexpcnenced by the dominal llhhcitstudydos not focus on on hislmitionby claiming that women's finally the dominant intellectual (1991)le how the objectivist \ Minna knowing, dominates it Was grounded in the self. She 34 learn to distance themselves from that which they are coming to know so that they can dissect, analyze, and manipulate the obj ectified pieces of knowledge. Gisela Labouvie—Vief (1990) situates Palmer's claim historically by noting that, "In Western intellectual tradition, [cognitive] functions have been described primarily by reference to outer, objective, and logical forms of processing and contrasted with inner, subjective, and organismic ones" (p. 52). For Labouvie-Vief, differentiating and categorizing these different modes of knowing is not in and of itself a problem; however, there is a tendency to value one mode of knowing over others. It is this hierarchy of ways of knowing that results in exclusion of particular groups, such as women, which is problematic. Labouvie-Vief describes the situation as follows: Throughout the course of our [Western] intellectual history, there has been considerable controversy over which mode of drinking better represents mature cognitive functioning. In that debate, there has been a long- standing tendency to adopt a reductionist solution by asserting that logos [Objective knowing] provides a better way of thinking and being, whereas mythos [subj ective knowing] only constitutes an immature and degraded version of logos. (p. 56) Sandra Hollingsworth (1993) contends that there is evidence of this devaluation and exclusion of particular ways of knowing. Women's views of reality, Hollingsworth explains, are "judged as less valuable than the dominant societal views simply because they are unexperienced by the dominant group, not because they lack authority" (p. 11). While their study does not focus on cultural context, Belenky et al. (1986) also support this position by claiming that women's ways of knowing have been "neglected and denigrated by the dominant intellectual ethos of our time" (preface). Similarly, Krieger (1991) discussed how the objectivist view of knowing, which views the self as a contaminant to knowing, dominates the subj ectivist view of knowing, which views knowing as gr Ounded in the self. She explains that the message she has received about mnflufilfwmnotbcobject Ibrahim 'it)"(p.ll. lidndtllmgllm'3tl990ne: Wmfiosrppmsthen ream lemlunnllycom ihic's(l989)mghts" aboutcnl fruwsofhmingandbcing Tm Fliltlglfitlmtnditiomldi thinnit-isdedgmdtot mummgtooonformm't WMofmlitythmispn mlnvingbeenallomdthe Matismcialh'constmc neofuansformationmpt Wmdbwomepassivefie medeprix-e Wmhng' orknowlodgea llryuenotevenmadeawm tamyversionofrealityrepr Matelimdarnentallydcpfiv mblethemtothinkorthems idmtifyandworktowardachi More Specifically, O'Loughlir. in‘fls'litttletstandings develop in tl WMwlnly importam to exam Mans-(p.81 Similarly. I be Minion beliefs and practice- {Marianne epistemologies the: W suldents' ways of knowirt Hits and practices in interaction v “01-011mm wondered "what eff“ 35 knowing is that, “If we cannot be objective , at least we should not call too much attention to our subjectivity” (p. 1). Michael O'Loughlin's (1990) research on teachers' beliefs as culturally constructed ideological systems also supports the view that students' developing epistemological beliefs and practices are culturally constructed. O'Loughlin's work draws heavily on Paulo Freire's (1989) insights about enculturation processes, and highlights the dynamics of how our ways of knowing and being are inextricably intertwined. According to O'Loughlin, Freire argues that traditional didactic education -- or "banking education," as he terms it -- is designed to reinforce student passivity so that students become willing to conform without question to the received view -- the only vision of reality that is presented to them. F reire suggests that people, never having been allowed the opportunity to become aware that knowledge is socially constructed and that reality is a process in a constant state of transformation, accept the received View fatalistically as known realty, and become passive, dependent, alienated and hopeless. Oppressed persons, therefore, are deprived not only of the opportunity to engage in sense-making or knowledge construction activities for themselves, but they are not even made aware that knowledge is socially constructed and that any version of reality represents an ideological construction. Thus they aIe fundamentally deprived of the sense of agency which would enable them to think or themselves, to examine their own lives, and to identify and work toward achieving imagined possibilities. (p. 7) More specifically, O'Loughlin (1991) introduced the idea that since "student teachers' understandings develop in the contexts of specific teacher education programs, It seemed particularly important to examine the evolution of their views in interaction with these contexts" (p.8). Similarly, I believe that we must examine the evolution of students' ePiStemological beliefs and practices in the contexts of organizations of higher education (in Particular the epistemologies they support and encourage). In other words, to truly understand students' ways of knowing, it is essential to examine students' epistemological beliefs and practices in interaction with these other social and cultural contexts. For just as O'LOUghlin wondered "what effect the epistemological messages 0f the program had rpm: wins] own not ailnlncfimstheepisternologic ifinimlmon studuns' c Windham; study hll fibmm to the an Mummies McNei hmofhermoh. McNeil thanwlridr we olm’ously h min: linemen-s nith the mmwascxpectedorperm Masofteach'mg in a detach Siplsmodelone could say in tI‘lltlstodetntmone portioni “Irma-eliminating- andt Withiorderto enable the uhamannerinoonsistem wt Wmldytuninds me to pay clo w‘Muandbeliefs. Similar Whetweena smdem's practia Wee. Aficrteviewingtheaforement rdllltolmtterstandthe influences o m‘llls’waysofknowing. Having tl WUniversity provided me with M’s ways of knowing. It affordt 36 on [the prospective teachers'] own evolving understandings" (p.8), it is critical that I consider what effects the epistemological messages of the university and other social and cultural institutions, have on students' evolving epistemologies. Linda McNeil's (1986) study highlighted the influence of institutional culture on teaching by drawing attention to the dissonance between teachers' practices and beliefs. O'Loughlin (1989) summarizes McNeil's discussion of institutional constraints: As part of her research, McNeil observed a number of traditional, didactic classes which were obviously boring and sterile for students. In subsequent interviews with the teachers who had taught these classes, McNeil was surprised to find that many of them were bright, articulate people who had interesting ideas, and who were enthusiastic and knowledgeable about their subjects. They had, however, learned, just as many public school students have learned, to play the game of school. They left their personal knowledge and interests at the gate, and, because no more was expected or permitted by the system, went through the motions of teaching in a detached and alienated manner. In terms of Sigel's model, one could say that contextual forces compelled these teachers to detach one portion of their belief system -- that pertaining to the practice of teaching —- and to construct an impermeable boundary around it in order to enable them to cope with the dissonance of having to act in a manner inconsistent with their overall belief system. (p. 13) McNeil's study reminds me to pay close attention to signs of dissonance between a teacher's practice and beliefs. Similarly, it is a reminder that I must also attend to diSParities between a student's practices and her beliefs. 118 Second Study: Paying Attention to Social and Cultural Contexts After reviewing the aforementioned literature, it seemed imperative to consider and try to understand the influences of both social and cultural context on women college Students’ ways of knowing. Having the opportunity to work with women students at Gulshan University provided me with the opportunity to further my understanding of Women’s ways of knowing. It afforded me the opportunity to pay attention ‘0 HOI only Mmofimhus' instructi aw AsGeatztl973tcxpln uhtrylicmuhcmhcothas “mm 112$le 11 “fifiafimmofthc ways Hihfllsmdyofm's “3)5( 37 the social contexts of teachers’ instructional practices, but also the larger cultural context of Bangladesh. As Geertz (1973) explained, “Studies do build on other studies, not in the sense that they take up where the others leave off, but in the sense that, better informed and better conceptualized, they plunge more deeply into the same things” (p. 25). The next chapter is a discussion of the ways in which I conceptualized and plunged more deeply into the study of women’s ways of knowing. HEARING WOMEN‘S V lhmch on ways of kt mmmmm. lb: Mummy has ge fimmnmmm‘s wags him-shown imam fl. “Wiznd. Banner Magolda Wdrinhuent challenge “M011 “Rwamzmg‘ ' a ““21 Immatethatother Wforovergcncmfizing Whilethis problem may jamlasestmdlimitations of wbstanceormeir findings, it Mlemisrelated to the goal of telling more complete stories. Mathis in the existing lit Wpletcms to the participan Chapter 3 HEARING WOMEN’S VOICES: CONDUCTING THE RESEARCH The research on ways of knowing reflects a commitment to hearing students’ voices, both female and male. I believe that the existing research has listened carefully and well, and consequently has generated thoughtful and thought-provoking frameworks for thinking about women’s ways of knowing. What is problematic about the current literature, however, is that their findings, at the very least, m static and overgeneralized. Baxter Magolda (1992), as she struggled to avoid being misinterpreted, recognized the inherent challenge in constructing patterns that avoided oversimplification and prescription. “Recognizing a challenge and being able to meet it are two different things. I was aware that other researchers, whose ideas were similar to mine, had been criticized for overgeneralizing (however unintentionally)” (p. 18). While this problem may be more rooted in the limitations of reporting, or possibly in the biases and limitations of the readers (including my own), than in the actual substance of their findings, it seems to be a problem nonetheless. At least some of the problem is related to the goal of finding themes and constructing patterns, as opposed to telling more complete stories. The result is that the balance between patterns and particulars in the existing literature is tilted toward patterns, and thus, there is an incompleteness to the participants’ stories. This can be fiirther explained by looking at 38 tmdmmm tmofimicm Mostc Mlmm. I968)“ Wmmthafew'unw inhuman—year longiuu ummmwmor hmmplmmmsofjt Rdmdtolhisisweofbteu M‘sodaluaanm con Matadaandunm cc mammalian oftheinl mm Hmdnfocus ofthis: Mkfltfidandevolving we: Whithesocialandculunl cc htllissmdy,achieving 'Wiledivasityofexperim. [t Wmmdve. onliltinhiscttllsforcontinuous' MfiplnofnatmalisticinquiryJ Mafia] meanings about her lltleulving social and cixlun-al m Mem‘vmysofmwing, altho “maintainedwithinachanging 39 the methodology of these studies, specifically at the number of interviews conducted and the number of interviewees. Most of the studies (e.g., Belenky et al., 1986', Clinchy & Zimmerman, 1982; Perry, 1968) were based on hundreds of interviews; the researchers conducted no more than a few interviews with each individual. Even Baxter Magolda’s study, which was a six—year longitudinal study, relied on only one interview each year. And thus, these studies tell parts of many people’s stories, as Opposed to developing fuller, more complete accounts of just a few. Related to this issue of breadth over depth is the insufficient attention paid to the participants’ social and cultural contexts. While some of these researchers mention the importance of social and cultural context, none of the studies provide an in—depth description or exploration of the influence of these contexts on women’s ways of knowing. Hence, the focus of this study: to describe and interpret, in as much detail as possible, the fluid and evolving ways that women’s ways of knowing are influenced and shaped by the social and cultural contexts in which they live and know. In this study, achieving completeness and depth are more important than including a wide diversity of experiences. It is critical to treat women’s ways of knowing as a developmental, situation-sensitive, fluid phenomenon rather than as static stages, styles, or types; this calls for continuous interaction with the participants. Guided by the principles of naturalistic inquiry, I attempted to access and understand one woman’s experiential meanings about her ways of knowing as unfolding in her personal life history and evolving social and cultural milieux. In addition, I attempted to describe how students' ways of knowing, although never finished or absolute, are nonetheless created and maintained within a changing experiential world. N lhtflofdmibingmdu mdflhlttlmitmiglnseemu numb-mew mofflnily,teligion.mdodl nihilism Tinchoio: WWWM Minimal mm llivcimntyxhid: allows us! finhmflofevuyday ever Mind, licoingmysofhiowingt toflteassnnptionthatthese Findplesofnatmlistic in: tidmofme snidents' std quantified. (p.21) Mmsvwifimllyfioins mmllset!ing,ttsopposedto an Ifittflitemstludata-gathering' Monsofmidersmnding, L1like relationships among vari Weftnowingcannotbeun ’ “lithlheyareapartforwomcn mm According to Lincoln 40 Naturalistic Inquiry The task of describing and understanding women students’ ways of knowing is nore difficult than it might seem at first glance. It requires understanding each mmediate teaching/learning classroom context, as well as the long-established cultural :ontexts of family, religion, and education, and paying attention to the gendered nature of :ach of these contexts. The choice of an appropriate and productive method is critical. A good methodological approach has to be sensitive to the complex interactional, levelopmental, and contextual nature of students' ways of knowing. Naturalistic and tarrative inquiry, which allows us to come to know women students' unique stories Within the context of everyday events, seemed most appropriate. As Baxter Magolda :1992) stated, Viewing ways of knowing as complex, socially constructed entities leads to the assumption that these processes can best be understood through the principles of naturalistic inquiry....Naturalistic methods maintain the richness of the students' stories that is lost to a degree when the stories are quantified. (p. 21) More specifically, doing naturalistic inquiry means conducting the research in the tural setting, as opposed to an experimentally-created setting, and using yourself, the searcher, as the data-gathering instrument. This approach emphasizes the interpretive otions of understanding, meaning, and action, rather than the discovery and testing of w—like relationships among variables. According to the naturalistic paradigm, women’s ays of knowing cannot be understood separate from the social and cultural contexts of hich they are a part, for women’s meanings and actions make sense within these ntexts. According to Lincoln and Guba (1985), “...realities are wholes that cannot be Miriaolationfiomdteir éhprsltln‘hole'tsmoredtm Elli; hhnmhactims ofi nirr'sinmuiomlpncrioes (in mbydietheee practices). on \l‘hilelinitialh‘designod m indSmfl-elte. 1995) as wel Helm) I used this research immfinltlml beable to adj lilhlhtnamlistic pamdigm's be SWtobeing specified a pri ..lmuse it is inconceivab aboutthe many multiple What emerges as a functio phenomenon is largely an cannot know sufliciently toexist... (Lincoln & Gu Relatodto an emergent d 41 mderstood in isolation from their contexts, nor can they be fragmented for separate study )f the parts (the whole is more than the sum of the parts)...” (p. 39). In addition, interpretive accounts provide opportunities to extend not only mderstanding, but also the range and sophistication of language for describing action; hus, these accounts extend our capacity to communicate about action (Carr & Kemmis, l986). In this case, the actions of interest are the students' ways of knowing, each :eacher's instructional practices (in particular, the ways of knowing encouraged and rewarded by the these practices), as well as the cultural messages as interpreted by the students. While I initially designed my methods based on my preliminary research in the United States (Welte, 1995) as well as my previous research with women in Bangladesh (Welte, 1993), I used this research only as a guide as opposed to a strictly followed plan. It was essential that I be able to adjust my research plan as necessary. This is consistent with the naturalistic paradigm’s beliefs that design emerges during the course of a study, Opposed to being specified a priori. ...because it is inconceivable that enough could be known ahead of time about the many multiple realities to devise the design adequately; because what emerges as a function of the interaction between inquirer and phenomenon is largely unpredictable in advance; because the inquirer cannot know sufficiently well the patterns of mutual shaping that are likely to exist... (Lincoln & Guba, 1985, p. 41) Related to an emergent design is naturalistic inquiry’s preference for purposive :ampling as opposed to random sampling. According to Lincoln and Guba (1985), -urposive sampling “increases the scope or range of data exposed (random or “‘aW-a‘ '4'”, T} Warpingislikelytos ikfllmyofmuhiplerealitic Specificallyltneaeusesttl bungalinth'upmjectuas idyr'sofmewman’s ways: WIMMJLGUII. I91 Ilmmingmdebeemseas Li: .itisnmarhptedtoades mummy Modumwemlroeflci '5'! l l' 'c gen: nahdtestthick deeoript ofunlnallydnpinginfluen Manofinvestigamrsul ndlomloontemal values likmngtheeasestudyrq “Weary and dynamics of wh Bookcase of a phenomena Manama understanding. “Make statistical inferences i Mutionsnhatiatoreco ' M1986; Stake, 1978). In 42 'epresentative sampling is likely to suppress more deviant cases) as well as the likelihood hat the firll array of multiple realities will be uncovered” (p. 40). Specifically, I use a case study reporting mode as a framework for this study tecause my goal in this project was to provide a holistic and particularistic description d analysis of one woman’s ways of knowing (e.g., Bogdan & Biklen, 1992; Erickson & chultz, 1992; Lincoln & Guba, 1985; Merriam, 1988; Stake, 1978). Iprefer the case tudy reporting mode because as Lincoln and Guba explain, ...it is more adapted to a description of multiple realities...it is adaptable to demonstrating the investigator’s interaction with the site and consequent biases that may result (reflexive reporting)...it provides the basis for both individual “naturalistic generalizations” (Stake, 1980) and transferability to other sites (thick description )...it is suited to demonstrating the variety of mutually shaping influences present...and it can picture the value positions of investigator, substantive theory, methodological paradigm, and local contextual values. (pp. 41-42) or these reasons, the case study reporting method is most conducive to communicating e complexity and dynamics of what happens to one woman student’s ways of knowing the more immediate and bounded social contexts of the classroom, as well as in the ore general cultural contexts of her life. Each case of a phenomenon, with its focus on the particulars of one's experience, ovides access to understanding. While this knowledge of the particulars does not allow e to make statistical inferences, it does enable me and others to make naturalistic Ineralizations; that is, to recognize similarities in similar and different contexts rickson, 1986; Stake, 1978). In addition, as Erickson and Schultz (1992) contend, a ughtfully constructed case study is valuable for readers because it gives them an rtunity to contemplate the extent to which the case can inform their own experiences. ‘ Myiritialdaaoollectionpla MIGL'aspossible prior ‘Ilhdllnseirlmieoswouldet utmmdiuhvingdrmsthcg lfiofhwing lwmted to W! iimmmmaeclasse WWmmwnsiderhou di WWdifl’ereuth. l Hitlnsfmilianohclpmetof “summon. lhopt Whighfighfingfllingslr lintanionlbw'wanledto lim mfiemmmantwotear laimmefitlbiographical case “uranium social 'llinthelagcrculnnal contexts l“I’llimilingthe number of pan' llfatetifbbvious" meanings to d lilicipams have come to explain c Ichoseto study Only wome Melons in the United States Wain it would be inappmpn “war“ Data Collection My initial data collection plan involved doing as many pilot interviews and observations at GU as possible prior to the official start of the study in January 1996. I had hoped these interviews would engage participants in the types of conversation that I was interested in having during the study; that is, they would be biographical and focused on ways of knowing. I wanted to work with two first-year women who were taking two of the same classes, and these classes would support different ways of knowing. This would enable me to consider how different students interpret the same teacher's instructional practices differently. In addition, I wanted to choose subject matter with which I was familiar to help me to focus on what was happening to the students' ways of knowing without distraction. I hoped that two such cases would provide useful comparisons, highlighting things I might otherwise overlook. I intentionally wanted to limit my research to two students and four of their . teachers (i.e., no more than two teachers for each student) to ensure the development of rich and useful biographical case studies about what happened to these women's ways of knowing in the immediate social context of their teachers' instructional practices and within the larger cultural contexts of family, religion, and education. In addition, I hoped that by limiting the number of participants I would be better able to probe below the surface of "obvious" meanings to describe the experience as "lived" rather than just as the participants have come to explain or articulate it themselves (van Manen, 1990). I chose to study only women because most of the literature on women’s and men’s epistemologies in the United States supports the need to look at each gender separately. I decided that it would be inappropriate to try to interpret the stories of Bangladeshi men ‘ atmnphnuheirfamilycc Marimflytoodissimilar. rhethgpohninrheirlisuenl stamenmofumsinon mofwhichthesmdemsarea iidamirmsindieirconfinu in “hammock Midwewithyoudleclu RMtolhefocusofthismear int-“WWW“ first sweater. My initial pl Rheum GU was an English. Within approximately 100 all15¢lltember, however, this was Warmly 200 more students, Wofwhom were men Whil mlltlproftssional courses, few WWW How would 1 co Wmmen? What kinds of 44 d women together; their family, community, and religious roles and their historical ituations are simply too dissimilar. I chose to study first-year women because they are at interesting point in their lives, entering a new setting and academic culture for the first e. In turn, this state of transition should make more visible the social and cultural ontexts of which the students are a part. In addition, students’ first-year experience are 'tical determinants in their continued participation and achievement at college (Gardner, Finding participants turned out to be considerably more difficult than I had iticipated. I share with you the challenges I faced for two reasons: first, because they 'e related to the focus of this research, specifically women’s struggles with voice and lence; and second, because they provide some important information about the context. First semester. My initial plan was based on my understanding, communicated to by GU, that GU was an English-medium school (i.e., all classes were taught only in glish) with approximately 100 students, half of whom were women. When I arrived in 1y September, however, this was no longer the case. The university had admitted proximately 200 more students, most of whom spoke little or no English, and the ijority of whom were men. While the course catalogues included a number of liberal s and professional courses, few of the liberal arts courses had ever been offered; 75% the students were business majors. Since I speak no Bengali, and am most familiar liberal arts material, I immediately became concerned. Would it be possible for me 0 my study? How would I communicate with these women? Would there be enough rested women? What kinds of courses would these women be taking? resentment-amt mammalian uthlmh maintain; with aim I immmmdnot WMMwaysofh tnnnhlinglish. liwuldbedil Illcrlittnrtheurnt:tiring,leralr l'ltrmrleanysensetothcothcrp Sincelhadnoformalcouta imamantiselectionofthe I“‘tWingtll the first-year students andmndednmgan- hoiwasrhesoiemedium 0t" Fltlishcomnnmicationdimes.at: ‘llllmmpposedtoassessthc “Winn spoke little or no Engli Wants otherthan Bangladesh 81 45 While my experienced dissertation committee had prepared me for the surprises of cmational research, I admit, I was a little more surprised than I would have liked. An .glish—medium school was little more than a misleading label at this point. I would not able to have a simple conversation with the majority of students and many of the :ulty, let alone challenging conversations about ways of knowing. Most of the first mester (September through December 1995) was spent trying to find participants, both idents and faculty, with whom I would be able to communicate. While still trying to 1d participants who would not only be willing, but also able to reflect upon and immunicate about their ways of knowing, I was most concerned about finding people he spoke English. It would be difficult enough determining whether or not the words a use meant the same thing, let alone having to worry about whether the words we were ing made any sense to the other person. Since I had no formal contact with the first-year students, I decided to approach : recruitment and selection of the participants somewhat systematically. I began by riewing all the first-year students’ files. I discovered that approximately 150 of the lantS had attended Bengali-medium elementary and secondary schools (i.e., where ngali was the sole medium of instruction). Based on enrollment in the introductory glish communication classes, as well as discussions with the admissions interviewers 0 were supposed to assess the students’ language ability, I determined that this group tudents spoke little or no English. Only fifteen of these students were women. Of the nearly fifty students who had attended English-medium elementary and >ndary schools, half were women. And almost half of these women were educated in ltries other than Bangladesh at some point. Many were the daughters of diplomats — ddmbrsullndspem a sig rumination! Schools. meliuionfmonocm aha-Mom who h im'ndseoondan'edu Tidismisuarwtly inthe 1&1de schoolsand dec :himanuedtlmmewomen s; itsmimsitystudemswoulc ilbelincdthiswould allow n finefiomhnguagebarriers imittilyofrhewomen at (H; h alpofwornenseemsmostrepte! lltrerooinagedtoptnsue. hiflx' Imamtetoeachofthe “launduy English-Minn sc “llltirpreferences as well as the 00mm about who would see GUhadtothiredmetodothis heroin with the hope otl 46 d ambassadors and had spent a significant amount of time abroad, often being educated American International Schools. I believed their international education to be an ditional complication/factor to consider in my study. Thus, I decided to try to work 'th the Bangladeshi women who had been educated solely in Bangladesh throughout eir elementary and secondary education, but who studied at English-medium schools. '16 this group is currently in the minority, the country is trying to increase the number English medium schools and decrease the number of Bengali medium schools. This 'terion ensured that the women spoke English fluently, and also eliminated the concern tthese university students would be studying at an English-medium school for the first me. I believed this would allow me to focus on their ways of knowing, with as little .terference from language barriers as possible. In addition, I think it is worth noting that e majority of the women at GU had attended English-medium schools, and thus this cup of women seems most representative of Bangladeshi women who are allowed. id/or encouraged to pursue, higher education, at least at private universities. I sent a note to each of the fifteen women who had been educated at elementary Id secondary English-medium schools asking them to meet with me. Only eight of the men were willing to meet with me. Some of these women sought me out dependently, others arrived in groups. I discussed the project with each of them, laining that there were possibilities for meeting individually and in groups, depending their preferences as well as the goals of the study. All of the women were very cemed about who would see this research. They were visibly relieved to find out that had not hired me to do this research, but rather that I was conducting it for my sertation with the hope of learning about women college students’ ways of knowing. I infindfllulfinmeh‘lhoped imglldleamingatGL'. I autumwaGL'uidmn Winery-nay. Isuggesled‘ fihmh'tlreniofthe week. Afmfrhemmen who: fluwtellmethartheyue ill‘ltlliniliallyexpreesedinterest imoammnedoyi il'lmlmgerintaesred At mfiamwasrelated to c Wmonlyimmed in met Baodonreporebythestm Monumental: *MM social; i.e., the worn hJis‘lonstsagronpmdthusit is We of and are participating in hsumrwosoonndenr and o illlliduallybccause she would no mm This private level al “I M amount of competition Based on my experience i malliangladesh, I expected all 0 47 lid explain that ultimately I hoped that what I learned would help improve the quality of ire teaching and learning at GU. I assured them, however, that no information would be shared with anyone at GU without their consent, and that none of them would be identified in any way. I suggested that the women think about what I had said and get back to me by the end of the week. A few of the women who said they were interested never returned to schedule an interview or to tell me that they were not interested. I did try to contact all the women who had initially expressed interest. There were several women who were only interested in meeting as a group, but the day the group interview was scheduled the women decided they were no longer interested. At the time, I thought that the women’s interest in - meeting as a group was related to cultural norms and preferences, but the fact that several women were only interested in meeting individually provided evidence to the contrary. Based on reports by the students themselves, as well as from my own )bservations, it appeared that the women functioned at two levels. One level seemed to re public and social; i.e., the women, especially the first-year women, travel in and make ecisions as a group and thus it is very important for them to do things that their peers pprove of and are participating in. The second level seemed to be private and individual. he student was confident and open enough to say that she would want to meet dividually because she would not be able to say what she really thought if her friends He present. This private level also seemed related to the students’ own description of great amount of competition among students and the people of Bangladesh. Based on my experience in the US, as well as my 1993 work with women in II Bangladesh, I expected all of the women students to be willing and eager to talk agmlmmlyanot' mummifimr summit- Marat untanfimaedarmyimbil mammagreedtopanicip tumumnmeircxperiel mmtlilledbecauscshe fel fihheMornnnom Mlfiedlheaewomen t WWW but none a Ministry-vim to be d i“madmantheirowrt Sinrlhadnorelationship‘ Wmmjwtthe itididnorlrnowme,andwere Wmooncemabout not Mulliuasitycmployce,was alw unannonwnemboms. c ummnudandwom and Mandwereooncemedabo “lemma in the village W110! Wisthtion and who were paid 48 rith me. Although I am only a novice researcher, I have always been successful at eveloping strong rapport with my participants; and I was always able to develop this rpport rather quickly. These experiences and expectations resulted in me feeling nprised and frustrated at my inability to connect with these women. Three of the eight omen, however, agreed to participate in the study, expressing a genuine interest in ' g with me about their experiences at GU and about their lives in general. One of the men was thrilled because she felt like she was “getting a friend.” For fear that they uld later lose interest, or turn out to be unwilling or unable to reflect upon their :periences, I asked these women to ask their friends if they were interested. A few :pressed some interest, but none agreed to be interviewed. I think the friends only reed because they wanted to be doing what their friends were doing. None of them [lowed up on their own. Since I had no relationship with these students outside of the context of my , aposed research project, the students may have been reluctant to work with me because :y did not know me, and were not sure they could trust me. All of the women ressed great concern about not having any privacy. Someone, be it a family member university employee, was always monitoring their behavior, their dress, their tionships, their whereabouts, etc. And their reputations depended on what people said ut what they did and wore and said. Thus, these women wanted anonymity and acy, and were concerned about how others perceived them. This was in stark contrast 6 women in the village who I had interviewed two years ealier who lived in almost 1 isolation and who were paid very little attention. They had been eager to tell their mmbmm list: Emmmreluctant toparti nmml in Bang] fiduayfromdreirparenl nydun’lfiwintheetming. Al ammonia-n Patio Mlhtlurttestttdmtswues hiltlmsmh week at sch Mounds: Mdrethrcewomen “the. theykeprtelling m mfimes), they were not VCI hotshot: for scheduled interVit Mounwfornnewhether hadn’tshowroioincimso diledtofigmc outth was 3 Medinworkingwith me. himfillieweechof the women 0 hilmingwasahuge source of llStallmyparticipants. Whilelwasstmsalinsto ltitlionsliips with four sophomor ”tidy abroad, mostly in Amcri 49 stories, eager to have someone listen. I think this is an important explanation for why the GU students were reluctant to participate. In addition, school in Bangladesh is a place where students can be with their 'ends, and away from their parents. Most students arrived at eight in the morning and yed until five in the evening. Any time away from their friends was seen as a cost to eir freedom and their firm. Perhaps a simpler explanation, although not one I support ongly, is that the students were simply too busy to participate. The students spent bout forty hours each week at school, and only twelve to fifteen of those hours (if that) ere spent in class. Although the three women who agreed to be in the study seemed genuinely nterested (i.e., they kept telling me they wanted to participate and continued to set up nterview times), they were not very reliable or dependable. On several occasions they id not show for scheduled interviews, or they canceled at the last minute. This made it ifficult to know for sure whether the students were really interested in participating, or if my didn’t show for other reasons. After each missed interview, I sought out the student 1d tried to figure out what was going on. I always asked if the student was still .terested in working with me, and each time she assured me that she was. I did manage interview each of the women once before the end of the first semester. This shakey ginning was a huge source of frustration and anxiety for me, for I feared that I would se all my participants. While I was struggling to find participants, I was also developing strong ationships with four sophomore and junior women who had been educated almost tirely abroad, mostly in America and England. They helped me to understand howl autumn-arm: autumn» only: libsmmtinmdiatclyon middewfimhumcution ti bismumqnblatnm Mimmenlmoemy mpusonatGL'dmingdic F: “whoever. [ was a ”fimmomasafiieniz Mpg-mm. m; in M'alllndbeen“kidmp Mafiaywsofliving in WMnfigiomheirculnm WIWaMblewayounth alstwomcnwen-notideal panic ta'rston'eshelpedtomefurther anlgfililvluslimculture. Secondsemgg. Atthe s Mtlreumedmfindomum hiriblecaraocident in which her Mumseriousiy injured She anto Bangladesh anytime Whit]: me about anything 50 as being perceived by the majority of students at GU. As a white woman with light ly hair from America who only spoke English, I was definitely seen as an outsider; and tsiders were not immediately or easily trusted. By dressing in western attire, albeit destly, I drew further attention to myself as an outsider. While wearing western thes was not unacceptable, (many of the English-medium students wore western thing), it seemed to enhance my outsider status, perhaps because I was the only em person at GU during the Fall semester. To this handful of internationally cated women, however, I was a bit of a haven. They did not speak Bengali either and they sought me out as a friend, as a confidante, as someone who could help them out eir oppressive situations. They saw me as someone who would understand their ries. They all had been “kidnapped” by their families and forced to return to live in ngladesh after years of living in England or America. They all felt silenced by their iilies, their religion, their culture. I represented something that they wanted, and for [16 I was a possible way out; thus they spent hours telling me about their lives. While 5e women were not ideal participants for the study, for the reasons I discussed earlier, ‘I stories helped to me further my understanding of the students at GU as well as of the ngali Muslim culture. Second semester. At the start of the Spring (1996) semester (after a 6-week Lk), I returned to find out that my most interested and eager participant had been in a ible car accident in which her husband of only two weeks had died and in which she been seriously injured. She had been air-lifted to Singapore and would not be hing to Bangladesh anytime soon. Obviously, she would have been in no condition lk with me about anything. Tl:3--~nb<*,_ , ~ fi Bet-3th: registration pm inhmllxirsclndnles for se finicnnjordmgfi to their p hpimxotlefixsuhy of c155. 3mm lmived very earlj “mun'anuided 0| Inhwmmanmded only twc ilmfllysofclmes. the count 2mm could become 1! 7‘thl'ntsrtiktrscontinued and ch mflmm travel to the themed abom thn: iSIinMneofmytwo remainim W" She was very canoe It'ffsllewastttlking about the rig thintSiflaskedheraspecitic que Weber own topics of interest. Wedatypieal English-med itwwldbeimable, or unWilling Ibelieve she dropped out 1 Withherfriends, and our was Ms uncomfortable with me a woos dining our meetings, and 51 Because the registration process was so disorganized, my remaining two students did not know their schedules for several days after the start of Spring semester. They had both made major changes to their pre-registration schedules. I did the best to contact them prior to the first day of class, but the unreliable phone system in Bangladesh made this impossible. I arrived very early the first day of classes and followed them to whatever classes they attended. One of the students only attended one of her classes, and he other women attended only two. I actually sat in on more classes than they did! After nly two days of classes, the country went on strike due to the upcoming political election determine who would become the country’s next prime minister. For nearly three eeks the strikes continued and classes were postponed because it was impossible for the acuity and students to travel to the university without risking their lives. Classes resumed about three weeks later during the first week of March. During iis time, one of my two remaining participants decided she “just wasn’t up to being. iterviewed.” She was very concerned about what she was saying, and constantly asked re if she was talking about the right things. She only seemed to be able to talk about tings if I asked her a specific question. She was unable to initiate a conversation or irsue her own topics of interest. I was sad to see her drop out since I thought she presented a typical English-medium student at GU; however, I had been concerned that te would be unable, or unwilling, to reflect upon her experiences at any depth. I believe she dropped out for two main reasons: first, she wanted to spend more ne with her friends, and our weekly meetings interfered with that; and second, I believe :e was uncomfortable with me asking probing “why” questions. She seemed visible rvous during our meetings, and verbally responded to my questions by saying things na‘lllmdoywumtmeto rhdmaskedherwhy before. grammar: m Thymedtmble hrdedqmstiomarhs‘“ sinkhudmtheae student in Ulylmelittleexperien lll‘dmwkinguhen they a: *Wmlurcuiflalso not ea: imitation: until a man a: [glinmghtomwticipm “Butminingparficipan r“Meningiti-stun:classes. fillbletoseehowdiflerent stut Mlmsrelievedtofindo Mendy bright, reflective. \Wnngl’mi ' theWomen §tuden§ Erickson and Schultz (I99 mmemntreseamh literature. 52 ;uch as, “What do you want me to say” and “I don’t know what to say.” It was as if no me had ever asked her why before, and she was unable or afraid to explain her thoughts, ~eelings, and experiences. Other students were also reluctant to being asked to think for hemselves. They seemed unable to explore things in depth because they were not used to icing asked questions such as “Why?” and “What do you mean by...?” I think this is elated to the fact that these students rarely discuss things with family, friends, or hers. They have little experience with independent thinking or analysis, and they are y used to speaking when they are asked or invited to speak. Interestingly, women in e Bengali culture will also not eat without being invited to do so. It is quite common r women not to eat until a man actually offers the food. I again sought out participants, this time by directly asking students in the same .asses as my remaining participant in the hope that I would have at least two participants ho were taking the same classes. This would allow me to meet my original goal of _ :ing able to see how different students interpret the same teacher’s instructional actices. I was relieved to find one more woman, Rahnuma, who was willing to uticipate in the study. Fortunately for me, it was her first year at GU, she spoke English lently, she had an extremely interesting and poignant story to tell, and she was an ceptionally bright, reflective, and articulate young woman. terviewing the Women Students Erickson and Schultz (1992) assert that "what has been most conspicuously absent m the recent research literature...is the first-person voice of the student" (p. 480). Even fore Erickson and Schultz published this assertion, researchers studying ways of wing had been listening to and writing about the first-person voice of the student. My Silutlnstndems and l liv “Wmn'fmthe mm( 'llldingsl This left us with fe filmhkandensmed priva “Mm available, as well 1 hmboncmnauy located in milimhyinpiaoe in Ban murmur) notthink Mewsites. Ideally, 1 would Meme students were not wi W918. Develorinampport is W“ Winn, 199o;nammexsley & ”Nitride: status, I worked very 53 arch is committed to hearing students’ voices, and thus follows this tradition. The ary data collection approach was in-depth focused individual interviews because they the best means to illuminate and describe the meanings held by students and teachers ut knowing, learning, and teaching. The interview is viewed by both cognitive elopment researchers (King, 1990; Loevinger & Wessler, 1970; Perry, 1970, 1988) naturalistic inquirers (Lincoln & Guba, 1985) as providing the most accurate nnation about understandings, meanings, and actions. I audiotaped and personally cribed all the interviews to ensure that I had a complete record of what the icipants said. Since the students and I lived far from the university it was difficult to hold the rviews away from the campus (which consists of four very disconnected and spread buildings). This left us with few options for good interview sites; i.e., sites that were ly accessible and ensured privacy. We used both a variety of university offices, if and [1 they were available, as well as empty classrooms. Neither site was ideal because were both centrally located in the campus building and quite noisy. Given the strong 1y hierarchy in place in Bangladesh, and the poor relationships most students have their parents, I do not think that the students’ homes would have been better View sites. Ideally, I would have chosen my home or some other private location; :ver, the students were not willing, nor allowed, to meet me outside of the GU )us. Developing rapport is widely discussed in the qualitative literature (Connelly & iinin, 1990; Hammersley & Atkinson, 1983; Spradley, 1979). Especially because of utsider status, I worked very hard to develop rapport with all of the participants. I —‘_ alhmdrthemfedcomfonabk iidmlldidmmbeasdee; ulfiguadlhatlmuldmn‘ Minuteman Whileall iz'cngttslmpasonalinfmmatic nihllalmysfelttlmtherew mmhmmyo Mahmh'initiatedor m hadfiumallthestudet hrmofanelderfiwpitei ermntntnesnongtnmt Ifiwm Youngunn imtysolwnsnotsurprisedb) Mfrmiliartomesineemy rela mm inthe United Sm in Funny, as 1 have said, the form WW and honest about difi'iCI allfrgavemt: privileges to ask per ”Nimble asking [conducted biographical ' lithium Fall semester. I “dolled by Burt Bergerstock antheculunal come 54 to make them feel comfortable by making the initial interviews very informal and dly, and I did not probe as deeply as I would have liked for fear of overwhelming . I figured that I would return to topics of interest at a later time once we had loped more rapport. While all of the women seemed comfortable with me and were ' g to share personal information (especially the woman who was injured in the car cut), I always felt that there was an insurmountable gap between myself, the older 'ewer, and the student, the younger, less experienced person. The students, cially at first, rarely initiated or continued discussion without being asked a direct ion. In addition, all the students called me “Madame,” which is the term used to >te respect of an elder, despite my efforts to get them to call me by my first name. is rooted in the strong hierarchy system which is pervasive throughout GU, as well e Bengali culture. Young, unmarried women have especially low status in the trchy, so I was not surprised by their somewhat formal interactions with me. It was infamiliar to me since my relationships with my students, and especially my research :ipants, in the United States have tended to be much more equal and very informal. mately, as I have said, the formality did not seem to prevent the participants from :open and honest about difficult topics. In some ways, I believe my status as an gave me privileges to ask personal questions that I would not otherwise have felt artable asking. I conducted biographical interviews with all three of my original participants during the Fall semester. I used the educational biography interview protocol )ped by Burt Bargerstock and Steve Weiland as a guide for the purposes of standing the cultural contexts, and their influence, on each student‘s educational Imm'oneluna hdwhmtghomugsl hWM‘lM).pa}i “humanism”: mnmewmgm Ml’gllinflimen/ieuswerenet ‘lmfwmvidinganchet. ful' 55 petiences and development. I modified the protocol as needed to be culturally sensitive dappropriate. Despite the eventual loss of all my original participants, these interviews re useful in broadening my understanding of women’s experiences in Bangladesh, and ividing useful comparisons with my remaining participant. From these initial rviews, as well as fiom informal conversations with other women, it was clear that e women had many shared experiences, especially concerning their treatment and ggles as women. I interviewed my one remaining participant, Rahnuma, for approximately 1 1/2 rs each week throughout the Spring semester (approximately sixteen weeks, from ruary through May 1996), paying particular attention to how her ways of knowing e being influenced and shaped by the immediate and bounded social contexts of her ses, as well as the more general and pervasive cultural contexts of which she was a . Ongoing interviews were necessary for understanding what can happen over time, thus for providing a richer, fuller, more representative picture of what happens to a tan’s ways of knowing. It was my hope that weekly interviews would indeed provide otion picture" of Rahnuma’s ways of knowing, as opposed to the "snapshots" ided by Perry's, Belenky et al.'s, and Baxter Magolda's more limited number of iews. These ongoing interviews were unstructured and open ended because this type of iew enables me as the researcher to understand how the participant structures the at hand (Bogdan & Biklen, 1992). Each interview began with the same general on, "Tell me about what's happening in your classes..." As Rahnuma and I became acquainted, the interviews became increasingly conversational. Some might namamm Msmwsltion lhhlu‘ieusmusstio Whflm defir innlmzruty. 1970. I988): ' Idaofthtleuntr ' mksofflrinSlmctor ' mksofpeas 'lltleoitlrsubjectmatter unknowns?) W375 56 cribe some of the interviews as dialogues, organized and focused around the rience of the participant. Hart (1981) highlighted the strengths and weaknesses of h interviews: one strength is that the dialogical character of these interviews allows the researcher and the participant to continuously clarify their understandings; ever, one weakness is that the researcher's presence and interests will direct the 'cipant's conversation. The interviews/conversations introduced the following ten topics about rtemological development defined by previous research (Baxter Magolda, 1992; fiss, 1977; Perry, 1970, 1988): roles of the learner roles of the instructor 'oles of peers nature of the subject matter evaluation eaching methods lassroom environment ower elf-identity nder topics were introduced directly, but the questions were open—ended to allow the ipant to pursue directions and stories of greatest importance to her (e. g., What role as the learner, play in your own learning? What role does gender play in how you to know things?) I always asked for reasons supporting the perspectives that the “if-[mmlmhteachcrmn “imminent playing a. Wham} anemic WWuays ofknow mmrlbeginningofuu m6 gmh‘miversity, elemen Mkfifldintervicw took place Members were very in Wills Rthnmna’senvironmem Masimmunised, and educat Wines, as well as his first hauvmityin the us, and Dumeltofiitluetttiort He was 57 ,cipant offered if they were not clear from the comments. Finally, I summarized orally Jarticipant's comments to ensure that I understand her intended meanings. unately, Rahnuma seemed comfortable and confident enough to disagree with me :never I misunderstood or misrepresented her meanings. rviewing the Teachers In addition to interviewing Rahnuma, I also interviewed two of her teachers to get atter understanding of each teacher's instructional practices from his point of view. ther teacher knew of Rahnuma’s or any of the other women’s participation in the ly. I met with each teacher three times over the course of the semester to discuss the hing context he was playing a role in creating for the student. In particular, I was rested in each teacher’s attention, intentional or unintentional, to support and image particular ways of knowing in their classes. The first interview took place rto the beginning of the semester, and included questions about the cultural messages , from the university, elementary and secondary schools, families, religion) that the ier was receiving (and perhaps intended to advocate) about knowledge, knowing, and ting. The second interview took place midway through the semester after midterms. the final interview took place during finals week. Both teachers were very interested in discussing their teaching and their students’ rig. Rahnuma’s environment teacher, Dr. Markus, is a Caucasian American man as born, raised, and educated in the United States. This was his first time teaching :raduates, as well as his first time living abroad. He had a Doctorate in Economics university in the US, and had worked for several years for the US. Government nent of Education. He was eager and able to be reflective and articulate about the lidmicstltpretious year. flirtattuywilling to hingwnpuienoed serious inability-tastiest English. thtdrdnsite and compl Mfumetmdthe few st new that this was no Wimtheyall spoke E mEither:[collected auetne Minion periods oftime. m InHitlanpttticnsurethat 1 had I filoerlmn’s answers. Be Murinemfew direct quota! Mmotinfotmation and anthestudent herself s: llwWetitwasttlsoimportant to Was. The following 50! Mannheim ofknowinr 58 res central to this study, and spoke at length about his beliefs about learning, teaching, :knowing the subject matter of environment. Rahnuma’s mathematics teacher, Mr. Zaman, is a Bangladeshi man, born, raised, 1 educated in Dhaka, Bangladesh. He had completed his Master’s degree in tthematics the previous year, and this was also his first time teaching undergraduates. tile he was very willing to speak with me, and eager to hear what I thought about his ching, we experienced serious communication problems. The combination of his very tited ability to speak English, and my total inability to speak Bengali, made it difficult explore the elusive and complex phenomenon of ways of knowing. While this was >blematic for me and the few students in the class who did not speak Bengali, it is portant to note that this was not a problem for Rahnuma or any of the other women I :rviewed since they all spoke Bengali fluently. In contrast to my interviews with Dr. rkus, where I collected a tremendous amount of information about ways of knowing in ,tively short periods of time, my interviews with Mr. Zaman were slow and difficult. It attempt to ensure that I had understood him correctly, I paraphrased and repeated 10f Mr. Zaman’s answers. Because his English would be difficult for readers to lW, there are few direct quotations from Mr. Zaman. :r Sources of Information and Meaning What the student herself said about her experiences was central to this study; :ver, it was also important to consider other sources of information, and other uretations. The following sources of data helped me to more fiilly describe what was ning to her ways of knowing. More Tooompl mnmghmdnm imimlprtiastlntsheu tnfln‘spaticipationin iatudtmdingofthere ’ Mmmmilyonthe 'zrdmslrlpedfacilitatethe WuMmmteni Commie]; Thro mkintlttdingdresyflabma lidswinmwodtwthbefor littesttdantttetetcnct,and umnmwtneyntronned MWMWW“ Wanabomwlmmbappt normntgaooeptodandpri Findin Whilelhavcwrittenascpl Mummnnoutttted Maiden collection and anal 1mm 59 Observations. To complement these interviews, I attended two of Rahnuma’s sses throughout the semester to better understand the various teaching contexts and tructional practices that she was experiencing. Through observation, I documented the chers' instructional practices, in particular the teaching methods employed, as well as student’s participation in these teaching contexts. This helped provide me with a ter understanding of the relationship between the student and the teacher. The focus, wever, was primarily on the student's understanding of this relationship. Attending se classes helped facilitate the conversational interviews by providing a shared )erience to which we (interviewer and interviewee) could both refer. Course materials. Throughout the study, I collected and read the student's course terials, including the syllabus, assignment guides, evaluation procedures, and the dent's written work (both before and after receiving feedback from the instructor). th the student, the teacher, and on my own, I tried to make sense of these materials irespect to how they informed the student's understanding of which ways of knowing e supported and accepted by the teacher’s instructional practices. This provided some nnation about what was happening to the student's ways of knowing and about the s of knowing accepted and privileged by each teacher's instructional practices. Finding My Story: Data Analysis While I have written a separate section on data analysis, it is important to note that sis occurred throughout the data collection process. Merriam (1988) describes the ss of data collection and analysis as "recursive and dynamic" (p. 123). According to 131, Aanlitaivcdesignis rimmflorwhaetol trim Hatches.“ Wsmentionto om'slmmhls (p. l23) ifidyn'smmongoing mmaflthedatam nhmlleaionnuoomplete. mmheteachasasw Smoftlrsmdygmaated finalinflmonwomen trmnhquttnon which n Whpartiwlmeaehing/let mimweeno longer in those; Mnemdedfor clarific IFttttnllingttlltheinterviewand mtriptionmachine)wasanext “analysis. Marianna Tobeginlorganized all a “summatendmndreflec rtilintestudyclarttreports, one Wasacasereoordtodifl‘en 60 A qualitative design is emergent: One does not know whom to interview, what to ask, or where to look next without analyzing data as they are collected. Hunches, working hypotheses, and educated guesses direct the investigator's attention to certain data and then to refining and/or verifying one's hunches. (p. 123) While analysis was an ongoing activity throughout my research, it certainly became more ' tensive once all the data were collected. This section describes the analysis done after y data collection was complete. Interviewing, observing, and analyzing course materials fiom the one main articipant and her teachers as well as from the seven other women whom I met with over 6 course of the study generated a tremendous amount of information about the social d cultural influences on women’s ways of knowing. My data collection was bounded ‘y my research question, which focused on what was happening to students' ways of 110ng in particular teaching/learning contexts. At the end of the semester, when the tudents were no longer in these particular teaching contexts, I only collected more . iformation as needed for clarification and explication of the already existing data. ranscribing all the interview and observational data myself (without the aid of a mscription machine) was an extremely helpful, albeit slow, way of ensuring ongoing ta analysis. ‘ganizing the Data To begin, I organized all of my information -- interview transcripts, observation es, course materials, and reflective memos -— into case study data reports. I wrote it case study data reports, one on each student. Patton (1980) refers to this organized axial as a case record to differentiate it from the final case study. fithm involve basic Ilndnde, and how things are t in lid represent the sense 1 "known interpretation of wt M‘ Reasonable Concl_u_sjl ltis extremely difficult to h"ting directly through obselw in'fltlsive analysis. Intensive anal “Mp with reasonable conclusi mean (1). 139). Specifically :1: Maxim, 1988). lbegan my analysis by m Wont) my original mob 4 “Imam these quei 61 The case record pulls together and organizes the voluminous case data into a comprehensive primary resource package. The case record includes all the major information that will be used in doing the case analysis and case study. Information is edited, redundancies are sorted out, parts are fitted together, and the case record is organized for ready access either chronologically [or] topically. The case record must be complete but manageable. (p. 313) In an attempt to keep particular events, interactions, and interpretations from g considered out of context, I organized my case study data reports chronologically. s temporal organization helped me to see the social and cultural contexts that uence and shape these women's ways of knowing. The development of these case y data reports involve basic sorting of all the data, and thus required some iminary analysis. In other words, I needed to make decisions about what to include . exclude, and how things are related and communicated. In addition, I began to rpret and represent the sense my students were making of their experiences, and to r my own interpretation of what these students were experiencing. 'eloping Reasonable Conclusions It is extremely difficult to access, let alone make sense of, students' ways of ving directly through observation and interviews, and thus I needed to do more sive analysis. Intensive analysis, according to Taylor and Bogdan (1984), is "to : up with reasonable conclusions and generalizations based on a preponderance of Ita" (p. 139). Specifically this involves consolidating, reducing, and interpreting my Merriam, 1988). I began my analysis by reviewing the research proposal, paying particular an to my original research questions. It was important to consider how well my tually addressed these questions, and to consider the possibility of developing new mnmmyidmaborn umdrhareponssevenl ' mummlfions qrrfiedfispms "h mmm'mulsoh 'm‘llrmtimwhile sear mmmnnfi mmmmsem' (Go: Duiiingrumnbleooncl lindSuanss(l967l defied! Wmfiomnfly ‘lerevisingthemto a Mwmmfomed by,yet nr m)ofsludmts'waysofknowir Mbyflreprinciples of fTllIl-laegmundedin«the ...bemsenoapriori realitiesthatarelikely to tobebasedonapriori g mmaynevertheless encormtered...and towntextual values (and Developingreasonable Mining :1 general understan “Marcos from which this und estions since my ideas about ways of knowing were changing. Next, I read through my e record data reports several times from beginning to end. While reading, I made es, comments, observations, and questions, in the margins. Merriam describes this e of the analysis process as "holding a conversation with the data" (p. 131). While versing with my data, I also kept a running list of major ideas that emerged from my a “The notes taken while scanning constitute the beginning stages of organizing, .tracting, integrating, and synthesizing, which ultimately permit investigators to tell ers what they have seen" (Goetz & LeCompte, 1984, p. 191). Deriving reasonable conclusions involves being both intuitive and systematic. er and Strauss (1967) described this process of analysis as beginning with inductively blished categories from early responses, comparing new responses to those categories, constantly revising them to account for the data. Using this process, the data I ected was informed by, yet not limited to, previous conceptualizations (including my 1) of students' ways of knowing. According to Lincoln and Guba (1985), researchers led by the principles of naturalistic inquiry prefer to have the guiding theory emerge 1-- be grounded in -- the data, ...because no a priori theory could possibly encompass the multiple realities that are likely to be encountered...because a priori theory is likely to be based on a priori generalizations, which, while they make nomothetic sense, may nevertheless provide a poor idiographic fit to the situation encountered...and because grounded theory is more likely to be responsive to contextual values (and not merely to investigator values). (p. 41) Developing reasonable conclusions required continually moving between :ructing a general understanding of the data and testing that against the specific riences from which this understanding was generalized. This involved carefully animal}: AsGeertzrl973 mamm mmmm hingmdrmppingou .flnamrialtaskofther regrlaririesbmromaketl mkntogeneralizewi Lilli \\hilel lave tried to disc Mmflnscbapteton metho firmnfion of the ways in Woman’swaysof knowing. Hrsmdconceps employed in inninsmmrem, and the time min Mitchell (1990) contends Won exacts some cost. fflrrrofagapbetwcen intention "inure possibility orniis mirth: participants to have ”llnlupretation All of the p 63 considering and reconsidering the Specifics of the student’s accounts in terms of their relationships to one another. Creating a theoretical explanation of the data makes it necessary to reconsider (again and again) the specifics in light of this theory, and to continually rework the theory until it makes sense of the specifics in a supported and consistent way. As Geertz (1973) explained, the stage of analysis inolves: guessing at meanings, assessing the guesses, and drawing explanatory conclusions from the better guesses, not discovering the Continent of Meaning and mapping out its bodiless landscape. (p. 20) ...the essential task of theory building here is not to codify abstract regularities but to make thick description possible, not to generalize across cases but to generalize within them. (p. 26) Limitations of the Methodology While I have tried to discuss the limitations of this naturalistic research study hroughout this chapter on methodology, I am most concerned about the authenticity of my representation of the ways in which social and cultural contexts influence and shape ne woman’s ways of knowing. In addition, I discuss the cultural appropriateness of :rms and concepts employed in this study, the limitations inherent in using myself as the man instrument, and the time constraints I encountered. epresentation Mitchell (1990) contends that representation is problematic because "every presentation exacts some cost, in the form of lost immediacy, presence, or truth, in the rm of a gap between intention and realization, of original and copy...“ (p. 21). To mimize the possibility of m_isrepresentation, I constantly paraphrased what I understood ch of the participants to have said and asked for confirmation or discontinuation about ’ interpretation. All of the participants let me know when my words did not accurately duringhdnidtlms' rilmluls‘ovm stories lrralizetlntevenniththr himmdinclusion oftl )n'rstllarre 1991 1992). the EWofherexper-ieu nwmmllbcmgtelling ofth Itilltglxselectionofthe wrd Srmmy hm I really told AnnNannmninherU‘ Winnipeg-holocaust (auto ansnlationto: W‘Sintmdedmeaningthror Whilelreached forhissu bemnelcannot (nor do] disccmtlntstoryonlyon Whenmdwhenlmw l l' . . ndwhatlfeltthenasll himthanofmyself. ownWliatItellyouh Mlflnerienceshelpedshapeno fillings. My limited understand ill nthe limited time I knew 64 ect what they had said, thus increasing my confidence in the consistency of my story the students’ own stories. I realize that even with the use of multiple data sources, heavy emphasis on first- d accounts, and inclusion of the "messiness" and "contradictions" of lived experiences vies & Harre, 1991/1992), the representation of this woman’s experiences will still be representation of her experiences. The final report, even in narrative and biographical will still be m telling of this woman's story, my sense of her beliefs and her ons, my selection of the words to tell, and my choice of how to express those words. whose story have I really told? Rahnuma’s or my own? Anna Neumann, in her (1992) paper entitled, "On experience, memory, and wing: A post-holocaust (auto)biography," eloquently addressed this issue of 'esentation and its relation to self. She explained that we can only understand ther’s intended meaning through our own experience. While I reached for his story -- accessible to me only in partial form because I cannot (nor do I want to) reenter his world -- I have been able to discern that story only on my own terms -- only in the image of who I am, where and when I am, what I know, and what I seek out. What I discern of his story, what I remember of it, and what I then retell is not his experience as such. Rather, it is what I, with my inclinations and needs and understandings, imagine his experience to be. What I heard, what I saw, and what I felt, then as I listened, were about him. But they were less of him than of myself. Searching for his story, I created the beginnings of my own. What I tell you here and now is less of him than of me. (p. 10) :xperiences helped shape not only the focus of this work, but my interpretation of the Igs. My limited understanding of Bangladeshi culture and the Muslim religion, as as the limited time I knew Rahnuma and the other women whom I interviewed, M'atlected my ability hmlrcllyoulmandnow Headmareadingol'the nhsulroiaelllnveimposed gunman“: whileor inneronhichllmebcenr tailoringheruordstostan Ems'mt‘rherolcol'selfino humselfand other in Iliglltxlf'tp. 6). lboper Midfm‘lother. its-Cultural Definitions hanattcmptrcunderstar mHittilrrrmrybeculturallyb lllSIlelitreandselfttnd other di”over the participants’ own m M and interpretations to WW on the study. Wilhelm significantly on 65 mdoubtedly affected my ability to tell her story. And so, perhaps, as Neumann suggests, he story I tell you here and now is less of Rahnuma than of me. Based on a reading of the first draft of this study, there will no doubt be some readers who feel I have imposed my voice too much, giving my interpretation more weight than Rahnuma’s, while other readers will be frustrated by the ways in which and the degree to which I have been careful not too overpower or overwhelm Rahnuma’s voice, allowing her words to stand on their own. I am comforted by Krieger’s (1991) discussion of the role of self in one’s research. She wrote, “In my view, there is no right balance between self and other in a study. There are simply different ways of expressing, or using, the self” (p. 6). I hope as readers you will find value in the balance I have found between self and other. Cross-Cultural Definitions In an attempt to understand Rahnuma’s ways of knowing, I have used terms and :oncepts that may be culturally bound. In particular, terms and concepts such as voice md silence and self and other may have particular meanings and values to those of us iom North America, meanings that may be different in other cultures such as Sangladesh. This supports Wendy Rosen Esmailka’s finding, in her 1994 study of lthabascan women at the University of Alaska, that concepts and their meanings are alue-laden and culturally different. In an attempt to be culturally sensitive, and to iscover the participants’ own meanings and values, I deliberately tried to allow the )ncepts and interpretations to emerge from the participants’ stories, as opposed to aposing concepts on the study. Despite this effort, however, the interpretive nature of is study relies significantly on my interpretation of the women’s words and experiences, new“ a" gum m The Value I anach *0 mill at. A5 1 explored how “Om“ am a knowers boom: cc zirtabou the tension betiWm mitigate: “as best for them. men'sdei'elopmeui 116le m‘ Muslim ofsclf from 1 errand identity (Baker Miile Ehtrhiiedillmnces in self< Strain many more women t aimitations to others. while Mommy. And perhaps mo ”It Mpposed to men‘s cont “ditional theories of psychologi Markus and Nurius ( l98t millilfldlviduals‘ ideas of \ in “1%. and what they are afm'c‘ Irritant) illr . Markus We“ that possiblr extend this conce ”“31 in motivating and d to), 66 :1 these interpretations are guided, and certainly limited, by my cultural background and 13:33. The value I attach to notions of self and other, for example, are central to this idy. As I explored how women come to know, the question of how they see themselves d others as knowers became central. Rahnuma and the other women, for example, ked about the tension between knowing what was best for themselves versus others rowing what was best for them. Gilligan’s (1982) work on psychological theory and )men’s development helped me to consider the ways in which women often cannot parate their sense of self from their concern for others. According to research on rider and identity (Baker Miller, 1976; Chodorow,1 978; Gilligan, 1977, 1982; Lyons, ‘83), while differences in self-definition do not necessarily divide along gender lines, it clear that many more women than men define themselves in terms of their relationships d connections to others, while many more men define themselves in terms of separation :l autonomy. And perhaps most importantly, women’s concern with relationship and ring, as opposed to men’s concerns with rights and fairness, have been devalued in ditional theories of psychological development (Gilligan, 1982). Markus and N urius (1986) introduce the concept of “possible selves” that resent “individuals’ ideas of what they might become, what they would like to :ome, and what they are afraid of becoming” (p. 954). Ryff ( 1991) and Cross and rkus (1991) extend this concept by studying possible selves across the lifespan. Cross Markus suggest that possible selves are “psychological resources that are rumental in motivating and defending the self in the course of adult development” (p. ). fi hhlclfonndtlmevario m’sapuimasandstrugg nilutlntthrsenotionsofsel Inm(i984),theanswerrothe @311?ka W" kfimndsmdieswere muforustoconsideralter ”M'WMI airlines Rdrtedtomyconcernsa xisnryeurrrrnarbourhow l. as memalso the inter mmi’stamsasanolder persor lhm’shnnngtas r discus “did While my outsider Stan 501“minibelieveitwns also Rahnuma felt no vulnerability in lfitilreriftheeffectlhad on Rah Winthatthere was an effect MW! answered them, ofien jmaEllie how these questions ant 11990), 67 While I found these various conceptions of self useful for thinking about these women’s experiences and struggles, based on the stories I heard, it is important for me to onsider that these notions of self may be culturally bound. According to Shweder and ioume (1984), the answer to the question, does the concept of the person vary cross- ultuarlly is an emphatic “yes.” Taking this into consideration, it is important to note that he aforementioned studies were of North American women and men, and thus, it is portant for us to consider alternative notions of self and other, notions which may be ore culturally appropriate and relevant, when analyzing and evaluating Rahnuma’s xperiences. rterviewing Related to my concerns about whose story I have told and how culturally bound it , is my concern about howl, as the human instrument, have not only influenced the rterview itself, but also the interviewee. The very nature of our conversations, combined ith my status as an older person (relative to Rahnuma), may have influenced not only uma’s thinking (as I discussed in the section on interviewing) but also what she said (1 did. While my outsider status may be viewed as a potential limitation, at least in the ways, I believe it was also advantageous. I was so much of an outsider that uma felt no vulnerability in being open to me, either at home or at school. While ure of the effect I had on Rahnuma, despite my attempts to discuss this with her, I am 'n that there was an effect. The questions I asked, the way I asked them, and the way uma answered them, often left me feeling unsettled and disoriented. 1 can only gine how these questions and answers affected Rahnuma. According to Patton 90). fi lneviewsareintmmtir mflmughtsfeelingsl inviewerlualsototh WaWnfla mmmunknowini mammnoranu Wurwflwtingw (large-inclining Yetth frxernstroytherdarat lhprtlattheefiealnsbeen pr liiotheposifiseinkahmmu Bstndynnyhaveindnced Othelimimions includr Millstonepolitical pro] lliltlllsspentinclasses each dr Winding had we had more lanyard allow her to critiq‘ mimic cultural interpretation Wars of her story. WI limit, I also had concerns ab thitional and controversir looted to edit her ideas, not b1 ML but rather because she wr Desirite the challenges a InWed l have been by Rahnum Wills out, “it is not necessary 1 68 Interviews are interventions. They affect people. A good interview lays open thoughts, feelings, knowledge, and experience not only to the interviewer but also to the interviewee. The process of being taken through a directed, reflective process affects the persons being interviewed and leaves them knowing things about themselves that they didn’t know -- or at least were not aware of - before the interview. Two hours or more of thoughtfully reflecting on an experience, a program, or one’s life can be change-inducing. Yet the purpose of a research interview is first and foremost to gather data, not change people. (pp. 353-354) Ihope that the effect has been positive in some ways; but what is positive in my world may not be positive in Rahnuma’s. And thus I worry about the changes and/or struggles this study may have induced. Time Constraints Other limitations include the pressure I felt to complete as many interviews as possible due to the political problems that shortened the semester and lengthened the time students spent in classes each day. Perhaps I could have developed a richer and fuller understanding had we had more time to discuss things. I did not give Rahnuma a draft of her story and allow her to critique it. Her reactions to the story may have provided a more authentic cultural interpretation and decreased the possibility of my own ethnocentric interpretations of her story. While the reason I did not do this was related to time and distance, I also had concerns about how Rahnuma would react to seeing some of her very non-traditional and controversial thoughts and feelings on paper. She may have been tempted to edit her ideas, not because she felt that I had misunderstood or misrepresented them, but rather because she was fearful of negative repercussions. Despite the challenges and limitations of this study, I know how profoundly moved I have been by Rahnuma’s and the other women’s stories. As Geertz (1973) points out, “it is not necessary to know everything in order to understand something” (p. fi Milwauthopethatodrersr Mhmawfim"? ab ddnbeuuetheyhaverear 'IIeCoItexu: Innkahmmn's storyi mm-tmmmr we tnusdml Thisdiscmsiont 'ziedlumoreasons: first. the hmmlimunedirectly relat kw culture or the cu mlli'tltalmuma‘sstoryto info than M‘ A South Asian Mu: lhecultuml context for tl Manny with a population Wis in the world. Of panic mintent of girls and women A Winthis study were all mic According to a recent 5111 alllt'eatedas being of lesser valt b0l'istlways greeted with joy... loluepresem wealth, but girls : Wain marriage” (p. 50). 69 20). I can only hope that others will come to understand something more about women’s ways of knowing, specifically about women’s struggles with voice and silence, and self and other, because they have read Rahnuma’s story. The Contexts: Bangladesh and Gulshan University Just as Rahnuma’s story is influenced by my ways of knowing, specifically the methodology I used, her story was also influenced by the contexts in which she lives and goes to school. This discussion of Bangladesh and of Gulshan University is brief and limited for two reasons: first, there is very little literature on either of these contexts, and almost no literature directly related to this study; and second, since this is not a study of the Bangladeshi culture or the culture of Gulshan University, I believe it is more valuable to allow Rahnuma’s story to inform you about these cultures as she understands and lives in them. Bangladesh: A South Asian Muslim Coungy The cultural context for this study is Bangladesh, a predominantly Muslim South Asian country with a population of over 120 million people; it is one of the poorest countries in the world. Of particular interest and relevance to my study is the status and treatment of girls and women. As you read about the context, keep in mind that the women in this study were all middle to upper class According to a recent study on childhood in Bangladesh by Blanchet (1996), girls e treated as being of lesser value than boys from the time of their birth. “The birth of a 0y is always greeted with joy....The birth of a girl is often received with resentment. oys represent wealth, but girls are seen as a cumbersome responsibility. They are born 0 be given in marriage” (p. 50). Even the birthing practices themselves exhibit a druhntionofgirlsandan mthitgtheyshoddbe gils’livesimoadulthood slantiheutheyare hfatrdddeisacommon Bladmlsoformdtlnt ' WM‘WM hldynbeahmxtonedofl‘ Wsociety). Allo ionicwmenatGU. Middleandupperc Windmtheyaue hummedmpmsmc‘ dlildu’iiarenotservantsor AwardingtoBlanchet, mid competitive, Prestigious and lucra maintenance or rmpr mquiresagreat deal investedinchildren: throughtheirchildm lucrative and prestigi the order of priority 1 (p. 147) Education is highly V l(Ithink and understand, but devaluation of girls, and are rooted in Islamic beliefs that “boys should live longer and in everything they should be ahead of girls” (p. 51). This devaluation continues throughout girls’ lives into adulthood when women are expected “to be quiet and subdued...to wait in silence when they are hungry...to serve their husbands” (p. 51). The practice of infanticide is a common occurrence with girl babies according to the daily newspapers. \ Blanchet also found that girls who are not killed as infants suffer greater malnutrition and \ higher mortality rates than boys under the age of five. In addition, girls are much more i likely to be abandoned, offered for adoption, or sold into prostitution (an integral part of Bangladesh society). All of Blanchet’s findings are consistent with the stories I heard fi'om the women at GU. Middle and upper class children are different than the majority of children in Bangladesh in that they attend the best schools that their parents can afford, and then are “programmed and pressured to achieve excellence” (Blanchet, p. 145). While these children are not servants or prostitutes, their families certainly employ domestic servants. According to Blanchet, middle and upper class parents perceive the world as highly competitive. Prestigious and lucrative jobs are seen to be scarce and, therefore, the maintenance or improvement of one’s social and economic position requires a great deal of clever manoeuvres. A great deal of ambition is invested in children since parents’ social worth is largely confirmed through their children’s success. School results should eventually lead to lucrative and prestigious jobs and good marriages. A job and marriage is the order of priority for boys, while for girls a good marriage comes first. (p. 147) Education is highly valued by these families, not because it improves one’s ability to think and understand, but rather because it provides status and opportunities. mEmltflslarnand“frightett Mostmiddle andupper ntislitwsorin private cars. Tn memeltootherdestint llCtl'ngawallseparating ‘insid °meEfillcttlntreand society” 1 Wofwcludingwomen in Maul, 1992, p. 2). Schoo. ll’l'tllittdto“pmentan image Parents alsorestrictthcit Metre “right kind of choice” r—m—LMN .. , 71 According to Blanchet, there is a great deal of pressure throughout elementary and secondary school to get the highest possible grades, and thus the focus for teachers and students is on “memorization of the finite knowledge contained in books....Memory is intelligence” (p. 151). The teacher/student relationship is very hierarchical, whereby students are expected to show “deep respect and devotion” towards their teachers “as in the guru/disciple relationship” (p. 152). Outside school, however, parents are believed to know what is best for their children (p. 154). Much more so than with lower class families, children of the middle and upper class are brought up accepting what parents decide for them. Some openly rebel and choose their own paths, but this is uncommon and “takes force and determination” because these parents have “many strings to tie their children” (p. 154). An especially common method by which parents maintain obedience is to resort to the messages of Islam and “frighten disobedient children with the fire of hell” (pp. 155—156). Most middle and upper class children are moved between home and school in rickshaws or in private cars. These children are rarely, if ever, allowed to travel on their own, or to travel to other destinations. Blanchet explains that, “The importance of erecting a wall separating ‘inside’ and ‘outside’, the home and the world, is a core value of Bengali culture and society” (p. 156). This wall is similar to purdah, the Islamic practice of secluding women in their homes to exclude them from public male space (Kanti Paul, 1992, p. 2). Schools are generally viewed as “relatively safe islands” which work hard to “present an image of moral and social purity” (p. 157). Parents also restrict their children’s friendships; they do not trust their children to make the “right kind of choice” of friends (Blanchet, p. 159). Some parents limit their ohildreu’sinteractionstc trustworthiness Evenpl Ofpamcular' inte M’fdflagainstpare leqingmets Blanche llamtobegmrdedandn MWMWMd militiamen Mileandpublicperson Itislemarltablehr mmmgc, dieirdoinge This socializationasmt byparentsornot. manipulate and tel both adaptive and 1 MW Stromquist‘s (198 indicates that in South As' complete their degrees in mm of the population fourth of those degrees be‘ 0f careful study of higher educational development i tthhlished in January 199 72 children’s interactions to members of their own family for reasons of convenience and trustworthiness. Even phone calls between friends are known to be censored. Of particular interest to my study is Blanchet’s finding that children who do not openly rebel against parents protest silently by not revealing their inner thoughts and by keeping secrets. Blanchet’s study revealed that from the age of eleven or twelve, children learn to be guarded and reserved with their parents. Most children interviewed in the study said that, faced with parents’ suspicion and lack of trust, they learn to tell lies regularly and systematically. These children seem to be socialized into developing private and public personas. It is remarkable how children themselves soon learn the art of fabricating a correct personage, putting on a mask hiding their thoughts, feelings and their doings. This skill constitutes an important aspect of children’s socialization as members of the middle and upper class, whether intended by parents or not. Children hiding their thoughts and feelings, learning to manipulate and tell lies, can thus be seen employing a mechanism which is both adaptive and reactive. (p. 162) Gulshan Universigg: Private Higher Education Stromquist's (1989) study of women and education in developing countries indicates that in South Asia there are more than twice as many men than women who complete their degrees in higher education. In Bangladesh, less than one-half of one percent of the population completes their degrees in higher education, with less than one- fourth of those degrees being conferred on women (UNESCO, 1992). After several years of careful study of higher education in the developed world and of recent trends in educational development in newly industrialized countries, Gulshan University (GU) was established in January 1993 "with a view to integrating the goal of higher education with tmofnatimnl develo mmmfimly AmdingtoGUfile 'niaslyflflmbdlind' nlpolitizlpoblam Thiss halhandymdforjobs l! mjuiyofllmwhomsxl isliddyhdicwdtharfliepm Manningandqml ml hmfiaflarmanyoc nthdieoommycansolvc it Wmflfiwwy}, Wt) GU’sultimategoal is lTSWithmmketableskills for Amordingtothemajo tb‘moppowdtoaplaoetol ngoasopposedtoapl Mreintemtedinwhctherem lIlluminatiinwhetheronrot mmbemore interestedin fitlfldts learning. Students do Whey are learning in their M. The president and 73 the process of national development" (Ali, 1993, p. 7). As of 1996, GU is a small, private university with approximately 300 students, one—fourth of whom are women. According to GU, the public higher education system in Bangladesh has "seriously fallen behind" through lack of resources, a tremendous increase in enrollment, and political problems. This situation has "forced" many students to leave the country both for study and for jobs. It is important to keep in mind, however, that the vast majority of those who pursue higher education are unable to afford international study. It is widely believed that the private university is the country's best hope for improving its workforce, economy, and quality of life (Choudhury, 1990; UNESCO, 1983, 1988a, 1988b). In particular, many contend that Bangladesh needs to educate its local population so that the country can solve its own problems (e.g., poverty, unemployment, averpopulation, and illiteracy), as opposed to relying solely on foreign aid (UNESCO, 988a). GU’s ultimate goal is to produce graduates who are well-grounded in the liberal s with marketable skills for economic growth. According to the majority of the students to whom I spoke, school is “a place to o” as opposed to a place to learn. Similarly, for faculty and staff, the university is a lace to go as opposed to a place to accomplish work. The president of GU seems much ore interested in whether employees are sitting at their desks during the specified work urs, than in whether or not they are being productive. Similarly, most of the students em to be more interested in being at school than in doing anything at school, and that cludes learning. Students do not sit in the common room, or anywhere else, and discuss hat they are learning in their classes; rather they are socializing and smoking with their ends. The president and many of the faculty are also more interested in the number of «Mafiaandthenm numbingufllwnir Whilethaeisakxof mbemisblcforandto nmmddrmuschedu ddmaulfl 8.00 PM. (' iasmoomgcmd Iltsmdnrs’ ability-to learn mllallowthetmivasity to Whig: tuition fees f Whigh school and co pamhmld beadmin him of pedagogy, I kanowledge into pm him: [the scary] knor mmmfieromhtowledgt rdalionshipsarc:very imporm lerevealed overcrowdedt llinsmission oriented. At the lWSludent-teacher ratio. Aooordingto the univ higher education from the Uni limb: United Kingdom (6% 74 classes they offer, and the number of classes the students attend, rather than in what the students are doing and learning. While there is a lot of rhetoric about the students acquiring knowledge so that they can be responsible for and to the average citizens of Bangladesh, the president’s decision to extend the semester schedule to classes six days a week, fifty percent longer classes, and classes until 8:00 P.M. (instead of until 5:00 P.M.) demonstrates the University’s focus on coverage and attendance as opposed to learning. There was no discussion about the students’ ability to learn under these new conditions. This revised schedule, however, would allow the university to continue to hold three academic sessions per year, and to collect the high tuition fees for each of those sessions. Basically, any student who had completed high school and could afford to pay the tuition fees (approx. $1000-1500 U.S. per semester) would be admitted to GU. In terms of pedagogy, the rhetoric at commencement by the president was to. “transform knowledge into practice....Memorization is forbidden.” But in the next breath he said, “We [the faculty] know a lot, but how much can we transfer to the students? We want to transfer our knowledge for the continuity of our culture. Student/faculty relationships are very important.” My observations of the actual practice of pedagogy usually revealed overcrowded classrooms in which teaching was very didactic and transmission oriented. At the time of the study, there were not enough faculty to have a low student-teacher ratio. According to the university president, GU is a combination of components of higher education from the United States (e.g., semester system, grading, course selection), from the United Kingdom (e.g., concentration), and from Germany (e.g., focus on WW). M’snqumuledgc attractant-manual an islibarlctmplredtotheBriti nigmm'nethehasic levelo mayofhlaualmsoomses. Amdingtoscmal fig‘fiymintmctivc'in Mound upand speak hh'lhink. lngcneml. Mediojmrlistcn to what lhsedescriptionsarer idlefmongthefaculty. staff. Imutual] elders in gene! inasmolderandmore qu: niorsmdemsexpectto be In! Wtoqucstion teachers I: lithey must question their prof Idwill not be ofi‘ensive to the 75 applied/practical components). He explained that, “GU is not set-up for knowledge for knowledge’s sake; knowledge must lead to personal and economic betterment.” While GU is certainly not a liberal arts institution in comparison with American universities, it is liberal compared to the British and German universities. The president claims to be trying to raise the basic level of education to become more liberal. Presently, it lists a variety of liberal arts courses, most of which are not now, nor ever have been, offered. According to several members of the faculty, the women students are described as being “very noninteractive” in class. The women tend to let the men speak. They are hesitant to stand up and speak themselves, and only speak when they are directly asked what they think. In general, all the students were described as not very participatory; they tended to just listen to what their professors had to say. These descriptions are not surprising, however, given the general attitude and belief among the faculty, staff, and students that students must respect and revere their teachers, and all elders in general. This is based on age as well as qualifications; that is, teachers are older and more qualified than students, and thus deserve respect. Even senior students expect to be treated with respect by the junior students. Students are not supposed to question teachers because teachers are of a much higher status than students. If they must question their professors, they should only do so in a way that is deferential and will not be offensive to the teacher. In particular, faculty and students believe that students should be very concerned with making a good impression with their teachers because it will affect their grades, and grades are very important. In summary, students, especially girls, receive messages from their family, religion, and educational institutions that they are of lesser value and lower status than idmofschool to help 76 others, in particular men and elders. At the university, women receive mixed messages about speaking up and participating in the learning process; outside school, the message is more consistently one of silence and submission. Part Two tells Rahnuma’s story both in and out of school to help further our understanding of how such messages and expectations influence girls’ and women’s ways of knowing. LEARNING ON tang sense of one‘s lift a: in this space of questi border to have a sense of nine become and where PART TWO LEARNING FROM THE PARTICULARS: ONE WOMAN’S STORY “Making sense of one’s life as a story is...not an optional extra...our lives exist in this space of questions which only a coherent narrative can answer. In order to have a sense of who we are, we have to have a notion of how we have become and where we are going.” Taylor, 1989 Rock)‘ slowly got up fit norm and thought- 1 mg was bemg held. 65 dealt He considcmd h mug but he thouehI 1“ would ha“? 10 be perfd tail) roughnfis that he “my from his point hem had been 8 make his more. He km when he did in the next 0er 1977) How did you interpret 1 untamething else? Whei trained as many interpreml buried his as a story about 4 thin. They are presem'ce mlling and expected to think limiting. The exercise is a limelpreted in multiple ways howledge, different interests. A“Mlmgrnmrh(1975) 9 Rocky slowly got up from the mat, planning his escape. He hesitated a moment and thought. Things were not going well. What bothered him most was being held, especially since the charge against him had been weak. He considered his present situation. The lock that held him was strong but he thought he could break it. He knew, however, that his timing would have to be perfect. Rocky was aware that it was because of his early roughness that he had been penalized so severely -- much too severely from his point of view. The situation was becoming frustrating; the pressure had been grinding on him for too long. He was being ridden unmercifully. Rocky was getting angry now. He felt he was ready to make his move. He knew that his success or failure would depend on what he did in the next few seconds. (Anderson, Reynolds, Schallert, & Goetz, 1977) How did you interpret this story? As a story about a wrestler? A prisoner? Or perhaps something else? When I read this story to the students in my class on learning, I rear almost as many interpretations as I have students. Many of my students have iescribed this as a story about a small child who has been given a “time-out” for bad )ehavior. They are preservice teachers in an education course who are interested in drinking, and expected to think about, teaching and learning, so this interpretation is not C surprising. The exercise is an effective way for us to see that each story can and will e interpreted in multiple ways because each of us brings different things (e.g., different mowledge, different interests, and different questions) to the reading of each story. \ccording to Smith (1975), comprehension is relative -- it depends on what we know already and the cognitive questions that we ask. The individual who reads a novel for its logical consistency or narrative power will comprehend it quite differently from one who attends primarily to its poetic qualitites. Which one is reading the book “properly”? The answer is in the realm of value judment, not of fact. (p. 46) The next two chapm 3’ traded and mp0“ Rahnuma' inocommrmicate “hat 1 i first: Suits captme. more 1h: richness and indeterminz romplexity. mificity. . “hich we deal..lhe km raised to abstract rules sclerotic explanation. I ammons....Story a figues or themes. (Can “93¢ “ith Carter's cla isnobable that each reader Eifimfimfi. am likely to r 32in 0m“: 5‘00" is an expn Memmm and what i - . Wt ‘0 Neumam (1992 ), “hr I hear of another I 0“" And as l retell 1h The next two chapters are the story of one woman, Rahnuma, organized and told flect and support Rahnuma’s own telling of her story as much as possible. I have em to communicate what I learned about this woman’s life in the form of a story [1188: Stories capture, more than scores or mathematical formulae ever can, the richness and indeterminacy of our experiences....[They capture] the complexity, specificity, and interconnectedness of the phenomenon with which we deal....The knowledge represented in story cannot, therefore, be reduced to abstract rules, logical propositions, or the covering laws of scientific explanation. Indeed, stories seem to resist such singular interpretations....Story accommodates ambiguity and dilemma as central figures or themes. (Carter, 1993, pp. 5—6) I agree with Carter’s claim that stories resist singular interpretations, and thus it is ly probable that each reader will make a different interpretation of the story. Even I, fferent times, am likely to make different interpretations. For each telling, and each ing, of the story, is an expression of the self (Krieger, 1991), shaped by our own- ests, experiences, and what we want to know more about ourselves (Peshkin, 1985). rding to Neumann (1992), What I hear of another I can only know in terms of who I am and what I know. And as I retell the experiences of others, I am there as well. It is through my eyes and ears and mind and heart that the story has sifted. The story I tell of the other is as much -- maybe more -- a story of me....It is this knowing, and what I’ve learned from it about how people know, that casts who I am, what I do, what I reach for, what I remember, and what I tell. (pp. 14-15) While I am comfortable with these multiple interpretations in some ways, I c it is important for me to provide some guidance for reading this story. For just as ’5 story can be read as a story about a prisoner or about a wrestler, Rahnuma’s story inhheliefsaban herself 1 runner. Morespecifieally nmmwmm mnemonichwen 'lWZIWorkonmandeol Tellingyoulhattheses: 3Wtoguidebmnotlim i‘ldlfltlfyingthosethemesw WWIysofknowing. Ofco Moratorium 'llllivshrvemeaningtothe siltOlhentanobscrve,tttlt Klitter of narrator's” (p. 59). llllflttningirnrltolearn anaystbrtcapnre lhvedosentotcll llfitmwhlchwecarleam liltinnhlhndmll’ 79 also be read as a story about many things: for example, about adolescent levelopment, about students at Gulshan University, about women in a developing ountry, about Bangladesh. While all these issues and foci are part of Rahnuma’s story, I or asking you to read Rahnuma’s story as a story about a woman’s ways of knowing, bout her beliefs about herself as a knower, her beliefs about knowledge, and her actions 3 a knower. More specifically, I am asking you to pay attention to her struggles with oice and silence, self and other, public and private, and choice and expectations/ bligations, themes which were central in Belenky et al.’s (1986) and Baxter Magolda’s [992) work on women and college students’ ways of knowing respectively. Telling you that these struggles are central to the development of ways of knong i intended to guide but not limit your reading of Rahnuma’s story. In other words, I hope at identifying these themes will provide a lens for reading Rahnuma’s story as a story rout ways of knowing. Of course, multiple interpretations are welcome in furthering our nderstanding of girls’ and women’s lives more generally. As Weiland (1995) states, All lives have meaning to the people living them. Finding or supplying meaning to lives that others can observe, take pleasure in, and perhaps even learn from them is the iration of narrators” (p. 59). I hope that in my role as narrator I am able to help you to d meaning in and to learn from Rahnuma’s story, especially in regard to her ways of owing, in ways that capture the complexity and contractions inherent in her life. I have chosen to tell Rahnuma’s story for three reasons: First, I believe it is a ry from which we can learn about girls” and women’s struggles with voice and silence, If and other, public and private. Rahnuma’s story, and others like it, often remain Ildbemmetheaepeoplcha Whil“- Second. hillapnicularlifestory mwmmbenmg mummmoapeop Mahdinllfliafortw hfniil'nrbmtmfimilim hmm'atturtionmm itffltltalnurna‘sstory,while l'wl'slllt‘artlinthl:othel'w mliikealltl inflilmoedwithhavins mtmifiullytothc llllfldnligior which be! llllllintheclasttoofll: 80 1d because these people have chosen to meet familial and cultural expectations which them silent. Second, Rahnuma’s was the most reflective and articulate story that I d. Her particular life story, specifically the opportunities she had living in another 6, enabled her to be thoughtful and critical about her life, her learning, and her e, in ways that most people can never be. Living at a predominantly Hindu ding school in India for two years created a natural basis for comparison and contrast. familiar became unfamiliar, the comfortable became uncomfortable, thus allowing uma to pay attention to matters she would have otherwise been unaware of. Third, I eve Rahnuma’s story, while exceptional in many ways, mirrors many of the issues and ggles I heard in the other women’s stories. While she certainly stood out in the sroom, Rahnuma, like all the women with whom I spoke, also struggled with being It and silenced, with having a voice and expressing that voice, with meeting her own others’ expectations. Chapter Four introduces you to Rahnuma as I was introduced to her, in the ;room, and explores how two of her social classroom contexts influence her ways of Wing. I detail her general beliefs about knowing and learning, provide an overview of each of her teachers brought to the classroom context, describe Rahnuma’s retation of each of her teacher’s expectations, and detail her actions as a knower 'n this social context. Chapter Five introduces you to Rahnuma’s life outside the room, specifically to the cultural expectations and obligations communicated by her y and religion, which helps us to better understand Rahnuma’s experiences and ways owing in the classroom. I provide an overview of Rahnurna’s life prior to and nrlraspmbletoallowyo mmna'unm ltisimportamronotr mumlandouto lrmcialaularlunalinflm Rmbertlnttlmedifll Mons Sirnilarly,m dodnptusisinfluenoed‘ MMmadandre-readthe WNW mundanhentic l'totsocialandcurmle 81 tside of the university throughout which Rahnuma herself highlights her struggles with ice and silence, self and other, public and private, struggles she also faces in the ssroom. Both of these chapters rely on the words of Rahnuma and her teachers as ch as possible to allow you, the reader, to better understand and critique the claims I e about girls’ and women’s ways of knowing. It is important to note that my decision to tell Rahnuma’s story in these two pters, in school and out of school, was intended to highlight and distinguish between , social and cultural influences on Rahnuma’s ways of knowing. It is imperative that remember that these different contexts influence and shape each other in recursive and ramic ways. Similarly, my ability to understand and tell Rahnuma’s story in each of se chapters is influenced by my understanding of the whole story. Ideally, I suggest tyou read and re-read these two chapters so that you can better understand their :rdependent and interactive relationship. Such a re-reading should help provide a- more urate and authentic understanding of how Rahnuma’s ways of knowing are influenced both social and cultural expectations. STRUC T0 Ididn’tevar know bl Hmmimmediately mg! ndtimleylidms, heri We!!! though-Pm“ lll'mugmix of oontradicti Nasal Iwas sitting in barmandthestudents, a context This woman was so “Molasses I hadobserved. SIBdidsointelligently and 0t llSlctu'ngtotheteat:ltet"s lectr tlmtnordid she appear to r hatshelnd her own opinion Mpublicly. Isoon learned While Rahnuma is la: (whichwill be discussed in d lttdosire to earn a university Chapter 4 THE GOOD STUDENT: STRUGGLING WITH VOICE AND SILENCE TO MEET SOCIAL EXPECTATIONS I didn’t even know her name, or anything about her. But I knew I wanted to. hnuma immediately caught my attention with her non-traditionally cut short hair, iitional Bengali dress, her expressive smile, and most importantly, with her frequent tughtful and thought-provoking questions and cements. She was visually an :resting mix of contradictions, both traditional and non-traditional. It was the first day 31355, and I was sitting in the back row of her environment class, observing the tructor and the students, trying to learn about this particular teaching and learning next. This woman was so unlike the other students in the environment class, or in any ‘ e classes I had observed. This woman asked questions, she shared her opinion, and did so intelligently and confidently. She was not just sitting at her desk quietly :ning to the teacher’s lecture and unquestioningly taking notes. She was not being nt, nor did she appear to be silencing herself. She had a voice, both figuratively, in she had her own opinions, and literally, in that she expressed those opinions aloud publicly. I soon learned her name: Ralmuma. While Rahnuma is largely resigned to her fate as a Bengali Muslim woman ich will be discussed in detail in Chapter Five), she continues to believe and act upon desire to earn a university degree. In contrast to her community’s patronizing attitude 82 Mmmnng‘ hig Minn. Shcsaysth m Onthcoonumy, moflmtlfshmfldshet l‘mgoingtoimiver alwayssuytlmfll andlivewithln" l mingwtha gammbefm lummmy hush mystudieswillbec gaajob. lmeanl‘ \l‘nikRahmmiamntstov uphnnd' tintshewillonl) Mamllyseriousjob. I’ll molding.” ThisisRahnmna’sl WthcrfirstyearatBafid laveBaridharaUniversity specifically, there were on] Herfatherdiscoveredthep mnetingandlikingthedira SirenrolledatGUasanen thtudy period, Rabi Population, and French. 83 out women pursuing higher education, Rahnuma believes that she needs a degree to be lf-suficient. She says that she is not like most women who attend university to find a isband. On the contrary, she is going to university so that she will be prepared to take re of herself should she need to. I’m going to university because I need a degree. A boy’s family will always say that, “Oh, she can study after she gets married, after she comes and live with us.” But I know that they will always see it in a very patronizing way that, “Oh, she wants to study, how cute.” So, I want to get my degree before I get married. The thing is, what if something happens to my husband? I mean, what if he dies or something? And then my studies will be completely disrupted. And what if I need to go out and get a job. I mean, I won’t have a degree. hile Ralmuma wants to work and earn her own money, as a married woman she :plained that she will only be allowed to have a trivial job. “I’ll be allowed to work, but it a really serious job. I’ll probably be in a small little job. I’ll earn my pocket money rt of thing.” This is Rahnuma’s first year at GU, and her second year of university studies. She cut her first year at Baridhara University, GU’s rival private university. She chose to ve Baridhara University because she felt limited by her academic choices there. ecifically, there were only two environment majors, neither of which interested her. I father discovered the program at GU and encouraged Rahnuma to transfer. After eting and liking the director, Dr. Sarker, and the program at the environment school, enrolled at GU as an environment major. During the Spring semester of 1996, the earch study period, Rahnuma was enrolled in four classes: environment, mathematics, aulation, and French. To help organize an we and their wheat: wlhge stndans' ways of k Rama brings to each ch cultural influences. (1) What the stud la) the studem‘s general b tfiifaun models for being pttticulzr class, her beliefs‘ Wdiscipline, and her 1 (2) What the teacl "not“ knowing. This or rule of the leamer, role of discipline, and the role of (3) How the stud: Expected ways of knowil role of the instructor, role subject matter/discipline, teacher was encouraging I (4) What ways of includes the ways in whic and the ways in which tht 84 To help organize and tell Rahnuma’s story, I use a modification of the four broad categories and their subcategories that emerged from the data in my study of American college students’ ways of knowing (Welte, 1995). Some of the information about what Rahnuma brings to each classroom context will become evident in the next chapter on cultural influences. (1) What the student brings to the classroom context. This category includes: (a) the student’s general beliefs about and practices of learning and knowing and different models for being a student; and (b) the student’s more specific expectations of a particular class, her beliefs about learning and knowing the particular subject matter/discipline, and her abilities to learn and know this subject matter. (2) What the teacher brings to the classroom context, especially as related to ways of knowing. This category includes the teacher's View of the role of the instructor, role of the learner, role of peers, the nature of the knowledge of the subject matter/ ' discipline, and the role of evaluation. (3) How the student interprets the classroom context, especially related to expected ways of knowing. This category includes the student's interpretation of the ole of the instructor, role of the learner, role of peers, the nature of the knowledge of the ubject matter/discipline, and the role of evaluation, all as related to ways of knowing the eacher was encouraging and rewarding. (4) What ways of knowing emerge in this classroom context. This category mcludes the ways in which the student actually came to know things in each classroom, and the ways in which the student believed she should be able to come to know things in airdssmThesmda rihhrrannedmysoflrr MW To begin to miderst: m1 meals of each of h utetheliefs, abilities exp: n druninspecific beliefs, hemmed in section lb)‘ expectations abom teaming mdvuiee in learning and It leaner and knower, and vi W mutiny education, whet teachers (discussed in Cha knowledge is everywhere " learning as coming to kno Icarus from others, includi specifically, Rahnuma ex; individual genetic make-u differently because of thei make-up. 85 .ch classroom. The student's preferred ways of knowing may or may not be congruent ith her enacted ways of knowing. Rahnuma at GU . What did Rahnuma bring to the situation? To begin to understand how Rahnuma’s ways of knowing are influenced by the cial contexts of each of her teacher’s instructional practices, it is important to determine rat beliefs, abilities, experiences, and expectations she brings to her classes. In addition domain-specific beliefs, abilities, knowledge, expectations, and experience (which will discussed in section 1b), Rahnuma enters each of her classes with general beliefs and pectations about learning, knowing, and knowledge; beliefs about the role of authority d voice in learning and knowing; models for being a student; views of herself as a uner and knower; and views of GU as an institution of higher learning. Beliefs about knowing and learning. In contrast with Rahnuma’s elementary and ondary education, where she relied solely on the external voices and truths of her chers (discussed in Chapter Five), as a university student Rahnuma believes that owledge is everywhere because everyone knows something. In turn, Rahnuma defines trning as coming to know as much as she can from others and then filtering what she Lrns from others, including people and books, through her her own experiences. More cifically, Rahnuma explained that knowledge comes from books, experiences, and our ividual genetic make-up. She claimed that individuals interpret the same things erently because of their different experiences and their unique individual genetic e-up. Well, when you in memorize, you just taxes, uh, better “Obviously fuel tax you never challenge facts. But when yo with it. I mean, you say, nuclear power i 86 I tend to think of knowledge as everywhere. I mean, it starts with you, it starts with everybody. I mean, everybody has, knows something that I don’t know. And I see it as my life’s goal to learn as much as I can. Because I’m not going to stop studying....We get knowledge from different books. It’s like when we were kids, I would rather have played with dollhouses, somebody else would have played with airplanes. It’s just different. We have different experiences. Like going to boarding school was a very important part of my growing up. And it makes me look at things differently. I mean, we all mold the same book in different ways, and that’s because of our individual differences. No two people are exactly the same, not even twins. Rahnuma’s definition of learning involves an important distinction between morizing and understanding. Rahnuma explained that understanding involves Lllenging, questioning, making sense of, and having opinions about information. In rtrast, memorizing just involves accepting information, remembering it, and being able 'epeat it back when necessary. Rahnuma added that memorizing and understanding are ited in that when she understands something, she can actually remember it longer. d understanding is important because it will improve your grades which is very rtant to Rahnuma. Well, when you memorize, you don’t challenge any of it. When you memorize, you just accept the things. And you’re like, okay, “Raise fuel taxes, uh, better cars, blah, blah, blah...” you know, whatever. You’re like, “Obviously fuel taxes, obviously better cars, obviously whatever....” And you never challenge any of it. I mean, you don’t have to wrestle with the facts. But when you are trying to understand something, you have to deal with it. I mean, you have to understand it. You have to wrestle with the facts, challenge them. And I think if you understand it, it actually stays with you much longer....Challenging infomation, uh, it means trying to make sense of what [your teacher] is saying. And trying to like translate the graphs and tables into some meaning. You need to compare things. I mean, you understand something with all these numbers that are sort of floating around. You try to establish a pattern here. Like, okay, let me see what the connection is. Let me see what this means. It’s not necessary to remember the numbers, it’s what the numbers tell you. It’s what the numbers mean. It’s not just remembering. It’s just memorizing when you say, nuclear power is eight and hydropower is nine. If you understood it, Millimetepodblesm neither with reliable infor dmthinkthey mm wi You see, ifl Q anoth pason isjust as confu: this in happened a lot wasthis formula. and r myself, this is quite ca: But] was the one who huge, but [just hadn’t it So,iflgoandaskz she might say, this is n Based on these beliefs l buostreiiable source of infl heiufonnation than other howeverythjng and may not Itthus, she double-checks llWedge, the books themsel ttttirttheycould explain lime, however, where the a rlittle. 87 you would say that hydropower is better. You would be able to have an opinion about the numbers, about the information. And I think on an individual level that makes a world of difference. I mean everyone understands the same things in a different kind of way. Sources of knowledge. While Rahnuma believes and values individual’s opinions and perspectives on knowledge, she is also concerned about getting the “right nformation;” i.e., information she needs to know for her exams. She recognizes that )ther students are possible sources of knowledge; however, she does not trust her peers to )rovide her with reliable information. She explained that students, including herself, )ften think they understand when they are really confused. You see, if I ask another student, there’s a very good chance that that person is just as confused as I am, but just doesn’t know it yet. You know, this has happened a lot of times. It has happened to me. One time there was this formula, and nobody could figure it out. And I was thinking to _ myself, this is quite easy. I don’t know why everyone is going on about it. But I was the one who was wrong. Because actually this formula was huge, but I just hadn’t seen it. So I was really confused, but I didn’t know it. So, if I go and ask another student, what do you think of this formula, she might say, this is really easy. Based on these beliefs and experiences, Rahnuma explained that her teachers are er most reliable source of information; they are much less likely to be confused about me information than other students. Rahnuma does realize, however, that teachers do not now everything and may not always be correct. When she occasionally doubts her :achers, she double-checks the information by checking the source of her teachers’ nowledge, the books themselves. Ideally, she would contact the authors of these books 3 that they could explain whatever information she is confused about. She was unable to :11 me, however, where the authors got their information, and on what basrs she found 1t :liable. — Butiflhadgonetorm mammalian: tobooks lcheckwhe infixnnfiomfmm Br duhoneofmyteaeh unsoffimiebooks fliegmplllikethis? R Rm 1 unisimportamandvalmbi 'mfromachodier. We all uddellmgingeachotherhe alimmnneanditsacc Mmmingsarestarfint Wash. WhileRahnuma “findositwanganymt Bwatiseofthisincrea challengeandquestim somehingthatishigh ousocietyoannotded respectfiilastheywen challenge your elders. personisalittleolder lhereaiethingsthat thingsthatlknowm euchotherenoughto 88 But if I had gone to the teacher, he would have told me, the formula has this, this, and this in it. So, you know, at least hopefully the teacher is not confused....Sometimes, I mean, because they are fallible people, I back up to books. I check where they are getting their stuff, you know, their information, from. But that rarely happens. I mean, I rarely seriously doubt one of my teachers. If it were up to me, I would be calling up the authors of these books, and asking them, you know, explain to me, why is the graph like this? Really, tell me, I really want to know. Role of questioning. Rahnuma believes that questioning and challenging each tther is important and valuable not only to get better grades, but also because we can all earn firom each other. We all know something that others do not know, and questioning 1nd challenging each other helps us to learn what others know. According to Rahnuma, [S Western culture and its acceptance of questioning become more prevalent throughout South Asia, things are starting to change, or are at least becoming more complicated in Bangladesh. While Rahnuma is clear in her belief that Bangladeshi society cannot deal with, nor does it want, any more questioning, she certainly does. Because of this increasing influx of Western culture, where people . challenge and question things, this [fearing and respecting and revermg something that is higher than us] is changing. And this IS something that our society cannot deal with. And that’s why they say that we are not as respectful as they were when they were our age. I think that you should challenge your elders. Because it’s not necessary that just because thls person is a little older than you, that they know more about everythlng.. There are things that he knows more about than me, and there are certain things that I know more about than him. And I think we should respect each other enough to acknowledge this. But this is not the way thlngs are. Rahnuma often questions and disbelieves what she reads, especially when it is m'tten by “the establishment” (i.e., the Bangladeshi government 0f the white western nPCrialists). She realizes that people, including herself, tend to believe what they want 3 hear, and tell you what they want you to believe. Consequently, Rahnuma believes that ‘ pustumldmtrelyonofinasr '1an That’stheesmblishme tirefaemandifyougr thingabtmvstedinu ymtobelievebwame humandthat'stomt AmdingtoRahnum mamman‘s ohmmonlyoflras‘ideas yumlizetlntthere‘sarenn mlmeanmhenyoustud poplememessed up. lt‘sno Role of voice. Rahnu warmly, her inclination, to mince in personal relatio Whites the importance of himself, tmless she cam about What she shares. This 01mm She only questio Ill-Strict, Sir,” and when th tittienships. I think [my ability to outside of school. It” important to look ben honest relationships 89 dd not rely on others to learn the truth; you can only learn the truth by searching urself. That’s the establishment thing. That’s what they do. They just give you the facts, and if you go along with it, that’s good for them. But there’s this thing about vested interest. I mean, people always tell you what they want you to believe because that would make them happier, which is not necessarily the truth. There’s just one way of finding out the truth, you know, and that’s to move your own butt, to find out things for yourself. According to Rahnuma, she not only questions the established viewpoint, she also ms the common man’s position. In other words, Rahnuma is able to challenge and e not only others’ ideas but also her own. She explained that, “If you really look, alize that there’s a remarkable amount of bullshit in the people’s [and her own] I mean, when you study what they say, you realize that in a lot of the cases, the e are messed up. It’s not just the fault of the establishment.” Role of voice. Rahnuma explained that her willingness, and perhaps more tely, her inclination, to disbelieve and question things, stems largely from her I 'ence in personal relationships which are rarely “really honest.” While she 'zes the importance of questioning in her learning, she tends to keep her opinions self, unless she cares enough about the other person. And even then she is selective / what she shares. This applies to her relationships both outside and inside the om. She only questions her teachers whom she feels “really comfortable with, like ker, Sir,” and when there’s no threat of negative consequences, to herself or to her nships. I think [my ability to question things] has a lot to do with my relationships outside of school. It’s like, people tend to bullshit a lot. And it’s very important to look beneath the surface. Because I, l have very few really honest relationships where the other person is n_ot bullshitting me. I mean, most WP“ 3” dew don'ttare. And I'm j" rally mo. but you." are enough ‘0 correct And m other poop“ hint? ”0”" m G feel better. mileage as tell as internal Erased and questioned PUbl «rang these different sou true. however. Rahnuma the are consequences relatet inheriting her opinions It We Rahnuma recog t‘titt helps her lsaming beca Wholly. saying things 2110 but so to the contradictions Ta“ting definitely helt to mind Is suddenlyr 3m a I’hapg’lllsgsa' more gattent Iinhibiting tsng’ t n 0th about 11 50:: Minute Went on to t his not btsetse 1t develor hi '0“ orIltation for the exam 90 most people are definitely bullshitting me. And with most of them I really don’t care. And I’m just like, uh—huh, uh-huh, go ahead. You think I’m really dumb, but you’re even dumber to think I believe you. But I’m like, uh-huh, uh-huh...The thing is, I can take a lot of bullshit because I don’t care enough to correct that person. You know, I’m like, uh-huh, uh-huh. And when other people are like, why don’t you start, you know she’s lying? I don’t care. Go ahead, she can lie if she wants to, if it makes her feel better. Ideally, Rahnuma believes that knowledge is constructed fi'om external sources of vledge as well as internal and personal sources of knowledge, and should be issed and questioned publicly. She described learning and knowing as a process of grating these different sources and thus coming to know things in particular ways. In :tice, however, Rahnuma seems to struggle with expressing what she knows because re are consequences related to making her opinions public, and thus she often remains :nt, keeping her opinions to herself. While Rahnuma recognizes that saying things aloud, the act of having a literal ce, helps her learning because she develops her ideas as she says them aloud. More cifically, saying things aloud helps her to pay more attention not only to her teachers, also to the contradictions and problems in her own thinking. Talking definitely helps me to understand things. See, if I ask a question, my mind is suddenly more alert. So, when the teacher explains things, I am paying more attention. And that helps because I’m thinking about what he’s saying....And sometimes as I’m saying things, I realize that what I’m thinking isn’t right. You know, it doesn’t make sense. So, then I have to think about it some more. Rahnuma went on to explain, however, that the reason she usually speaks up in s is not because it develops her thinking, but rather because it helps her to remember information for the exams, which in turn means better grades. The thing is. when l l taming. Wm“ business. right And hm thought- well. 1 member ll. And i l I‘m really m 1.“ Rahnuma explain“j endow part Of h" k moment she believes that Because it shifts. it 1 my counciottsness. ‘ You know. when N uhich is tthy we do in our short-term mt lougterm memory. Models for being a : hugsatarieu of models 1 thfiouships with her teach lllhgntss to be a good so “it‘s of being a student. an Hitch wants to be a good 5 tales. W. Withers. It is not enough auduuderstand her, and e‘ to ' ' ' beau thrsrble or silent 91 The thing is, when I participate in class, that’s when I’m doing most of my learning. You know, I mean, I knew about this anticline and syncline business, right. And I could have just kept my mouth shut. And I could have thought, well, I know this. But, because I said it out loud, I’ll remember it. And I really will. And even on a really hard midterm, when I’m really scared, I’ll at least remember this. Rahnuma explained that talking causes the information to become part of her sciousness, part of her long-term memory. If she asks a question or makes a unent, she believes that she is unlikely to forget the information. Because it shifts, it basically shifts stuff from my semi-consciousness to my consciousness. You know, that short-term, long-term memory thing. You know, when we read something we pay attention for half a second which is why we don’t remember it, if we pay attention for 10 seconds it’s in our short-term memory, and if we pay attention for a minute it’s in our long—term memory. Or something like that. Models for being a student. Based on past academic experiences, Rahnuma ings a variety of models for being a student to GU. In particular, Rahnuma’s lationships with her teachers is very important, significantly influencing her ability and 'llingness to be a good student and to learn. Different relationships result in different ys of being a student, and thus different ways of knowing. In tum, Rahnuma very uch wants to be a good student, meeting her teachers’ expectations and getting good Seeking approval. Rahnuma very much wants the approval of most of her hers. It is not enough that she like her teachers, she also wants her teachers to like d understand her, and even approve of her in a quasi-parental way. She does not want be an invisible or silent student. She wants her teacher to know who she is and how “I that She Mk5 Com relationships h‘st’try lml’omm f0 out to know m." m want them to underst Imsaylhls for a“ r‘ Markus he‘s going “ mws me very “ell. started our [mt fit“ mum after him [\t‘ll It'edone lhiS- D0 3‘ mm Oh look this if “You an around am ‘Yeah that‘s right ' hindaddy. He is en Rahnuma. however. tu- L'uose tho she likes. car not. she only uants at use her to think that they torsion“ In turn the tea “Mint to challenge and exp Rilhuuma’s desire/m f - . W, hierarchical nature c education system in Banglat and elders.” In particular. d reflected in the terminology Ittthtts are referred to as “5 Influence on the Bangladesl 92 (1 what she thinks. Consequently, Rahnuma does what she can to develop these lationships. It’s very important for me to like the person who is going to teach me. I want to know my teachers, and I want them to really know me as well. I want them to understand my position, you know, what I’m drinking. And I can say this for all my teachers, I mean you can go talk to Dr. Stan Markus, he’s going to tell you, Yeah, I know her. And Dr. Sarker, he knows me very well. I mean, I call him “Daddy,” but not to his face. It started with [my friend] Zareen because last semester I was running around after him [with this report], saying “Look! Look! Look at this! I’ve done this. Do you think it’s good? I mean, don’t you approve? I mean, oh look, this is my report, don’t you approve?” And Zareen said, “You run around after him like, Daddy, Daddy, look at me.” And I said, “Yeah, that’s right. That is so right, you are so right.” So I started calling him daddy. He is everything I would want my father to be. Rahnuma, however, does not seek this kind of approval from all of her teachers, only those who she likes, cares about, respects, and doesn’t think are “scum.” In particular, she only wants approval from teachers who let her think for herself and don’t force her to think what they think. It’s very important that teachers “leave room open for discussion.” In turn, the teachers she cares about are the ones with whom she’s more willing to challenge and express her thoughts and opinions. Rahnuma’s desire/need for approval by her teachers is interesting given the formal, hierarchical nature of education in Bangladesh. Even Rahnuma describes the education system in Bangladesh as “formal...so you need to differentiate between peers and elders.” In particular, distinguishing between teacher and student is essential, and reflected in the terminology students use to address their teachers. Consequently, all teachers are referred to as “Sir” or “Miss.” Rahnuma thinks this is a result of the British influence on the Bangladeshi educational system. She explains that Bengali is like irrrthehtrt the.“ "5e “' and 33F W “hen young P609] W‘ m She explained that harm 0mm” She ha mm”: and personal. and i when any fer 0f mm Well. the professors ‘ or I'm doing the ‘ working on. 01’ d0 1 0 they matte refer me you really mUSt read-l them nithout being 6 to have a different 0]: like. they know “hat their lives. iicadt'flfiC2 we really know each For Rahnuma the he) he: to her. “If you have a thralhetie, it’s much easier lllh Somebody who is symp A mini she does not feel free i W careful about with v [hitch be negative co hIOWer ed and her relations ill ' hurry maybe jeopardi: 93 n where they use tu and vous. According to Ralmuma, parents, and other elders, get rpset when young people use the informal language with elders. Mutual relationships. Rahnuma also sought more mutual relationships with her ers. She explained that the teachers at Baridhara University (her first university) are greatest outlet.” She has developed a relationship with these teachers which is both :mic and personal, and this allows her to discuss the course material more freely and rut any fear of embarrassment. Well, the professors at Baridhara are a major outlet for me. I tell them, “Oh, I’m doing this, or whatever.” And they ask me, in fact, what I’m working on, or do I need any help, or do I need some material. And then they maybe refer me to a book. They say, “Oh, I’ve got this new book that you really must read.” They give me a lot of basic information. I can ask them without being embarrassed. I can say, “What is this?” And it’s okay to have a different opinion than them. That happens quite frequently. It’s like, they know what’s going on in my life, and I know what’s going on in their lives, academically and also in terms of their personal lives. I mean, we really know each other well. For Rahnuma the key is having a relationship with the person who is explaining s to her. “If you have a compassionate person, someone who knows you and who’s athetic, it’s much easier to learn stuff.” Rahnuma said that she needs to be alone iomebody who is sympathetic so that she can ask the questions that she does have. Avoiding negative consequences. While Rahnuma ideally wants to speak her she does not feel free to share her opinions with all her teachers. She believes she )e careful about with which teachers she shares her opinion because she believes an be negative consequences, both in and out of the classroom (i.e., her grade may ered and her relationship with her teachers, peers, family, and/or religious mity may be jeopardized). Rahnuma is “veril ve :u WHY “the when k i‘zRahnuma 58)? Even “ are about “horn She ”‘1 2mm [0 be silent Sh raters. l‘rn artful about V Km; These Struggles “ ittld become clearer all“ ' According to Rahnur hire unquestioning defere hiepeudent or constructed t fusoarrogant They‘re lilo hr‘tcare about the Students We're awake and in clns. T llilh teachers like this, Rahr h’eitback to them on the e W EIEde. Not only is she caref rh Unstances under which ‘ l hires where she understan sh ‘ - 915 Md OfaSklIlg “reall‘ 94 Rahnuma is “very, very suspicious” about her teachers, unsure of whom she can st. Many of the teachers know her parents and would “report back to them” about .at Rahnuma says. Even with teachers who don’t know her parents, she is very ective about whom she talks to openly. Using her intuition, she decides when to speak and when to be silent. She said, “I get these good vibes and bad vibes about the tchers. I’m careful about who I tell my opinion to. I don’t tell my opinion to all my tchers.” These struggles with voice and silence, self and other, public and private, ould become clearer after reading Chapter Five. According to Rahnuma, some teachers are not concerned about her learning, quire unquestioning deference to their authority, and provide no opportunities for dependent or constructed drinking. “Some teachers are just scum. They’re, ooh, they’re st so arrogant. They’re like, here, you have to believe this because I said so. They n’t care about the students. They don’t care if we’re enjoying it, if we’re learning,- or if :’re awake and in class. They just come to class, and they lecture us, and that’s it.” ith teachers like this, Rahnuma said, “ I just write down what they say and, you know, 1e it back to them on the exam.” This is Rahnuma’s way of ensuring that she gets a od grade. Not only is she careful about to whom she speaks, she is also particular about the :umstances under which she will do so. She is most comfortable speaking up in small sses where she understands the material. When she doesn’t understand the material, is afraid of asking “really stupid questions.” She doesn’t want to embarrass herself in Womisbetame“! nwd W,Rahnuma believe hthetmcher, either in or at lllitrrtiatkquestionsinclas dimrpttheclass fornoreasc Well, you see, if I d basic right to have the teacher to take I' Rahnuma wants to have ' hinting the information isimportant to get the info 95 rout of her teacher or her peers, so she doesn’t ask any questions. She chooses to be ilent. It’s like, if it’s a really large class, I tend not to say anything. But if it’s a small class, it’s all right, and you can ask questions and stuff. But if it’s a really large class, and if I don’t understand most of the material, then I tend to shut up. I mean, because then I ask really stupid questions, so then I don’t say anything. I don’t want to embarrass myself...In small classes, it’s easier to ask questions and get to know each other....And in some classes, where I have a grasp of the material, then I do ask the questions in class, because I know they’re not dumb questions. Relying on teachers’ knowledge. Although Rahnuma believes that knowledge is everywhere, including in herself, her desire to be a good student focuses her attention on her teachers’ knowledge. While she believes that asking questions will fiirther her learning and understanding, Rahnuma explains that her primary reason for asking questions is because “I need to have things clear so that I can get good marks.” In particular, Rahnuma believes that she has a “basic right” to have things explained to her by the teacher, either in or after class. Rahnuma said that this right entitles her to speak 1p and ask questions in class. She was quick to add that students do not have the right to lisrupt the class for no reason; it must be related to learning the material. Well, you see, if I don’t understand something in class, I think it is my basic right to have that thing cleared [explained]. It’s not like I’m asking the teacher to take like fifteen minutes solely to me. If I had a problem like that I would go to the teacher after the class. And I have a right to that too. But I don’t think a person has the right to just crack up the class, or stuff like that. I mean, that is not nice. Lahnuma wants to have things explained by the teacher because this way she knows she ‘ getting the information that she needs to know to get good grades. Rahnuma believes it important to get the information from the prime source (or as she puts it “from the MW? and at med trays of liming lwmdntiflask Wdngetfinggoods Wuhavetodowhatt mtlringclsclcando, certaindatemrthete: tlnnldowhathewar lfitwereuptome,y< probablybedifferent. day’snotas. Andthat wedidinthelastclas information She can think traded highly for doing exWiener: for information. 96 ’s mou ”), and at school, the prime sources are her teachers; she is using her ved ways of knowing. I’ve seen that if I ask someone else [another student] that doesn’t really clarify anything. I mean, I’m much more comfortable asking the professor. So that way, I know that I got it from the horse’s mouth, basically. That’s good. That helps me get good grades. Being a good student means meeting each of her teachers’ expectations to get grades. She has resigned herself to doing what the teacher wants because she does eel that she has any other choice. She admits that if she was in charge of her classes, ould probably do things differently. But she’s not in charge, and thus she has ted that she must do things the way her teacher want if she wants to get a good a, which she does. Well, [getting good grades] means doing what the teacher wants. I mean, you have to do what the teacher wants to get a good grade. There’s nothing else I can do, really. I mean, if the teacher wants the report by a certain date, or the teacher wants the report to have these certain points, than I do what he wants. I mean, that’s just the way it is, and that’s fine. If it were up to me, you know, howl could lay the report out, it would probably be different. But it’s not up to me...So, I try to go through each day’s notes. And that really helps because in the next class I’m up on what we did in the last class. So, it’s much easier to follow. Relying on subjective and constructed knowledge. Meeting her teachers’ :tations, however, does not always mean relying on the teacher’s information and .g what the teacher thinks. Rahnuma believes that some teachers want to know what thinking. In these cases, she does not feel a need to rely on the teacher for the ation. She can think for herself. So, when she is allowed to think for herself, and ded highly for doing so, she shares her own ideas, and relies on herself and her 'ence for information. However, when she is graded highly for giving the teacher’s Mngisnotherdefinition ierxperise of doing so ho hithonetly. Being honest Mincluding those on the Mutter-e cheating, she wi Mention She knows that $11 hashconly concerns hersr inthisregard. 97 ewpoint, she does not think for herself, and instead she relies only on what the teacher inks. Sometimes teachers ask me what I think. You know, they are asking for my point of View, for what I think. That does not have to be what he [the teacher] thinks. And I’m sure his thoughts are quite different than mine. And we’re marked on our pattern of thought. I mean, had we put in all the variables, and stuff like that. They just want to see that as we make up a rationale, do we take in all the things we learned in this course. But some teachers ask for a certain point of view, and then I just write what they want. Being an honest student. While getting good grades are “very, very important,” it essential that Rahnuma gets these good grades honestly. Getting a good grade by [eating is not her definition of being a good student. She must not get good grades at l e expense of doing so honestly. She would rather have a lower grade and know that she it it honestly. Being honest is a critical issue because so many of the students at GU teat, including those on the president’s list. Despite the fact that she knows which idents are cheating, she will not confront the students or bring it to anyone else’s I :ention. She knows that she cannot change anyone else’s behavior but her own. And as, she only concerns herself with living up to her own, and her teachers’, expectations this regard. To be a good student for me is to have a good CGPA. And I think it’s more important to be an honest student. I mean, a lot of people on the president’s list are renowned cheaters. And the office does not necessarily know that. And I would say that it is much more important to be honest with yourself. And even if I get a B because I did not cheat, and I did it the way I had to do it, I think I would be much more, I can sleep better at night, anyway. I mean, I’m really pissed off, yeah, if somebody cheats and gets an A. It makes me really mad. But I know there is nothing I can do to change their behavior. But at least I know I am right. And thenl am not the kind of person who will go and try and convince the other person. 'uhgmltylhatsheis‘hot hodntopmduns hduttnncveryoneelscto mmnmouthikethe s hwedstomkhardand Edmorwiththeothersn Wherselftoher situar notreallyngreewiflithem. Views of GU. Acco Wheteit is even possible fo Sometimes allowed, and ev someone may want to hear. believes this is because of also due to the institufional Malia: American, univer 98 View of self as learner. Perhaps because Rahnuma learned so little in elementary nd high school, she does not see herself as a “superachiever” academically. Given Lahnuma’s exceptional performance, as confirmed by both her mathematics and nvironment teachers, Rahnuma’s perceptions of herself as a learner seem quite distorted. hese perceptions, however, are certainly consistent with Bangladeshi society’s View of Iomen as unintelligent. Also consistent with society’s View and expectation of women, uma tends to take responsibility for most of the problems in her classes because she els guilty that she is “not good enough.” Rahnuma does not believe she is as good as e other top students. Instead, she sees herself as someone who has to, and does, work der than everyone else to get good grades. She explained that if she were good enough 71d smart enough, like the superachievers, she would not need to work hard at all. But 1e needs to work hard, and thus she feels responsible for any problems she has with her achers or with the other students. Throughout Rahnuma’s story, Rahnuma often signed herself to her situation, living up to other people’s standards, even when she did )t really agree with them. Views of GU. According to Rahnuma, school is the only place in Rahnuma’s life here it is even possible for her to share her opinions. It is the only place where she is >metimes allowed, and even encouraged, to have a voice. It is the only place where meone may want to hear, and may actually listen to, what she has to say. Rahnuma lieves this is because of the growing western influence on GU. I would add that it is 0 due to the institutional desires of the GU administration to be like a western, in icular American, university, specifically in its desire to provide a liberal education. A closer look at Ra lighten her learning and 1: Mother, public and priva difierent ways of knowing teachers. In addition, her] of her teacher’s expectatio with her classmates. As I mentioned, I started 2118:00 A.M., not metthree times each wee Class, twelve of whom w 99 Attending classes at GU is the only time in Rahnuma’s life when she is away from r parents. According to Rahnuma, she never discusses what she is doing at school with r parents, except to ask for money to pay her tuition. Rahnuma sounded a bit distressed ut her parents’ lack of attention to her learning, especially since she believes her ends’ parents were more attentive and helpful. My parents couldn’t care less what I do in school. They just don’t care. Basically, the only time I talk to them about school is when I need a check for 45 grand. [45,000 taka is approximately $1000, the cost of GU per semester. This is a large amount of money in Bangladesh as the per capita income is about $150]....You know, other girls’ parents helped them with their homework and talked to them about stuff. My parents never did anything like that. They just left me alone. Like as to studies, my parents never sat down with me or anything. Which was sort of good because I went out and I played. I had a real nice time. But I learned a lot less. A closer look at Rahnuma in her environment and math classes will shed more in on her learning and knowing, especially on her struggles with voice and silence, self d other, public and private. Over the course of the semester, Rahnuma practiced ~ ‘ferent ways of knowing, largely because of her changing relationships with her Lchers. In addition, her learning was also influenced by her her understanding of each her teacher’s expectations and her relationship, and familiarity, with the material and th her classmates. Rahnuma in Her Environment Class As I mentioned, I met Rahnuma on the first day of her environment course. Class ed at 8:00 A.M., not a preferred time for most students, including Ralmuma. Class tthree times each week, for one hour each time. There were sixteen students in the s, twelve of whom were women. The room was small, with approximately thirty an M into a space morons, with the teach Rahnurna was sitting in the Meals. Despite the early onaght in her chair. taki hens always on time. pn ii. that did Rahnuma brir Rahnurna‘S mu fl annmmmme iihtrhlb‘lDCSS mm in " “hand. Her 0111)‘ interest i lit Candid about her lack Ithink it‘s the kinds bmmessmm and I ‘ 1%]le about the care. The reason 1’“ somebody has ‘0 Ck gong to have to pay money. And I want In addition to her <33 10 y . really like the environmei aildilion to this class being l winding and talking ab< believes she knows a lot abr trad a lot [about er nng research ‘ papt the library and from 100 s squeezed into a space not quite big enough for that many chairs. All the chairs in rows, with the teacher’s podium and blackboard at the front of the room. uma was sitting in the second row surrounded on both sides by other women nts. Despite the early hour, she was physically attentive throughout the class, sitting night in her chair, taking notes diligently, and making eye contact with the teacher. vas always on time, prepared, and ready for class to begin. Vhat did Rahnuma bring to her environment class? Rahnuma’s reason for studying environment was quite surprising to me. While kes the people in the environment field, she decided to study environment because ' business interest in making money, and she saw environment as a way to achieve nd. Her only interest in learning about the environment is to make money. She is candid about her lack of interest in the environment itself. I think it’s the kinds of people it attracts. Basically, you see, my father is a businessman, and I am a capitalist at heart. To tell you the truth, I don’t really care about the environment. As long as I get my money, I don’t care. The reason I’m here is because there’s all this pollution, and somebody has to clean it up, right? And at the end of it, somebody is going to have to pay a huge bill. And somebody is going to make a lot of money. And I want to be that person, basically. In addition to her capitalistic reasons for studying environment, Rahnuma seems 1y like the environment material because it is “interesting” and “really relevant.” In )n to this class being Rahnuma’s third environment class, she spends a good deal of :ading and talking about environmental issues outside of class. Consequently, she as she knows a lot about the environment, more than most of the other students. I read a lot [about environment] outside of class. I mean I read a lot of boring research papers that are around that nobody reads, you know, frp’m the library and from the newspaper. I must be a really boring person. In such a had I actl interesting M 1 She definitely thin molar. she brings her i W m to . ll tinting together “i131 Sh‘ m3 her own perspecliw atropifll‘llL Ithink m)‘ backg" items. like what‘s just generally Very read to come UP W [med before. SC “ith [lint- tnironment requires her ‘ oiiiewto consider. Spec lotthem countries take 0] monumental problems. considering both of these ' 101 such a nerd. I actually go through these papers. I actually find them interesting. That’s what’s frightening. She definitely thinks that she brings knowledge to her environment class. In articular, she brings her “stuck-in-the-mud kind of opinions” which is why she “can’t 31p but react to certain things.” Rahnuma explained that she develops these opinions by ringing together what she has read with what she has learned from her other classes, and ring her own perspective (e.g., it’s smart to make money) she then comes up with her vn opinion. I think my background reading helps a lot. Plus, I pay attention to news items, like what’s happening to countries now. These little things really make a difference, and you can’t get this information in a textbook. I’m just generally very alert to what’s happening [in the world]....l use what I read to come up with what I think, and then I correlate that with what I’ve learned before. Sometimes I’m like wait a minute, this doesn’t make sense with that. Beliefs about learning environment. Rahnuma explains that learning about vironment requires her to “read between the lines” because there are always two points view to consider. Specifically, Rahnuma believes that the Northern countries and the uthem countries take opposite positions and are always blaming each other for vironmental problems. It is up to her to figure out what she thinks for herself by tsidering both of these positions, as well as her own perspective and investigation. The thing about environment is that there are two points of VICW,,0ne from the Northern countries and one from the Southern countries. ,If it s a Canadian textbook, they’ll have a Northern perspective. If it s an Indonesian textbook, they’ll have a Southern perspective. It 3 like they all blame each other. All these Northern textbooks talk about the developing World is screwing us up, that’s what they’ll say. And the Southern textbooks will be like, well we can’t develop ourselves with all this pollution that the Northern countries have done. So, it’s interesting. You know, you have to read between the lines. It’s funny actually. It quiclil.V became c .31th or objecti\'€l.‘ gownup in one ofthe 1685 outside agencies. like the V Bangladesh She explainet so its what the common I paifically seeing where ll ienbelieve otherwise. A lhhlfllflpretaiions over 1hr milling She reads without mm they're talking : iIii-hand. She says people imminent," because it ”madly the truth. For R “mm W for yourself. $1521:th establishi ' gatiléiiii l0“ to believe becai necessarily the Infill ow, and that’s 10 h becami: increasini be common man. She seer Portion. Not only does she [be " lrposmon for herself on 102 It quickly became clear that Rahnuma has strong feelings about things. She is not tneutrally or objectively considering the Northern and Southern viewpoints. Having wn up in one of the least developed countries in the world, she is quite aneg about side agencies, like the World Bank, imposing their views on the “common man” of 1gladesh. She explained that these World Bank people live in ivory towers and have idea what the common man wants. She explained that her own experience, cifically seeing where the farmers lived and what political views they espoused, lead to believe otherwise. And she clearly valued and trusted her own experience and her a interpretations over those of the World Bank. Rahnuma said that she never believes thing she reads without “double-checking everything” because “oftentimes texts don’t w what they’re talking about.” And double—checking involves getting information t—hand. She says people tell you what they want you to believe, especially the ablishment,” because it serves their own interests. And their interests are not :ssarily the truth. For Rahnuma, finding out the truth involves discovering what you t to know for yourself. That’s the establishment thing. That’s what they do. They just give you the facts, and if you go along with it, that’s good for them. But there’s this thing about vested interest. I mean, peOple always tell you what they want you to believe because that would make them happier, which is not necessarily the truth. There’s just one way of finding out the truth, you know, and that’s to move your own butt, to find out things for yourself. It became increasingly clear over the semester that Rahnuma is concerned about ommon man. She seemed to be drawn to the “controversy” of the common man’s ion. Not only does she feel connected to the common man because she has seen position for herself on her father’s land, she actually sees herself as the common ran at least as opposed to mill. is not literally one l mbwse she. too. feel: iris as if she is not respec nmonrnan needs to be l Wilbert. but no one is 1 There‘s always a lo llllS lS WilAI I have 1 people. he 0““ m use it for agficlflm mm is a problem l always us and them forthese people T establishment is W wouldn‘t listen to ll the establishment. And somebOdi' nee like the lyrics by Pl lyrics go. “Us and 1 Despite her interest that Simply Spealdng up for likes no difference at all.’ tinge. “I mean, if you do like some impact.” W Based on analySlS ° llisocciion discusses what 1 ”“- Morespecificaiiy n 103 at least as opposed to the establishment. While Rahnuma, from an upper class ly, is not literally one of the common people, she associates herself with the common because she, too, feels silenced and treated unfairly by the establishment. She, too, as if she is not respected by the establishment. Consequently, she believes that the on man needs to be heard. She believes that the establishment is heard by everyone here, but no one is speaking up for the common man. There’s always a lot of controversy with the common man. And basically this is what I have seen myself. I mean, my father employs some of these people. We own this plot of land in the country, and he lets these people use it for agriculture...When I actually saw things for myself, I thought, there is a problem here. It’s really unfair for these people...I mean, it’s always us and them. I think someone needs to talk about what’s going on for these people. That’s the difference between us and them. I mean, the establishment is very, very hopeful. Because no one would say they wouldn’t listen to the establishment. I mean, we sit all day and listen to the establishment. But nobody is listening to the common man, to us. And somebody needs to listen to the common man. You know, it’s just like the lyrics by Pink Floyd. You know, the song Us and them. The lyrics go, “Us and them, and after all, we are just ordinary men.” Despite her interest in remedying the common man’s situation, she does not think ply speaking up for the common man can change anything. “Nah. What I say no difference at all.” She believes that many people are necessary to effect some 6. “I mean, if you do it in a big way. If there are 10,000 people like me, then it will some impact.” at did Rahnuma’s teacher brin to the environment class? Based on analysis of interviews, classroom observations, and course materials, otion discusses what Rahnuma’s environment teacher, Dr. Markus, brought to the More specifically, Dr. Markus designed the course, consciously and unconsciously, with certain expectations 2 munching and 1m“ deluouledge 0f “mom udents come 1° know an abouel'alumg mend m (1ij during our insight after the ”W ‘ Dr. Km“ m \‘C Thu gills.“ On the first d hiding a little about hirm Government DCPWTIDCHI C lashing undelgladwes‘ l adventure. and it‘s been Pr Although Dr. Mark the wanted them to be par encourage discussion and 2 Merits of questions, inclul or elsewhere? Where does told the Students that he is lilo knows a little about ot lbouyour Country [Bangle c . llmumcated that he saw 104 'th certain expectations and a particular reward system in mind. He had certain views ut teaching and learning the subject of environment, including views of the nature of 6 knowledge of environment, beliefs about how to teach environment, views of how his dents come to know and learn environment, beliefs about the role of peers, and beliefs out evaluating students’ learning. The majority of the comments I have included here ere discussed during our third interview. Thus, Dr. Markus made these comments in dsight after the course was completed. Dr. Markus was very friendly and informal with his students, referring to them as on guys.” On the first day of class, he introduced himself as Dr. Markus and told the idents a little about himself. He described his experience working for the US. )vemment Department of Energy, and informed the students that this was his first time uching undergraduates. He explained that he “thought it would be a good time for an venture, and it’s been pretty exciting so far.” Although Dr. Markus did most of the talking initially, he told his students that he o wanted them to be participating. “We all need to be talking, not just me.” To ourage discussion and assess his students’ knowledge of environment, he asked them cries of questions, including: What other environment courses have you taken at GU elsewhere? Where does energy come from? How do you consume electricity? He :1 the students that he is most knowledgeable about energy in the United States, but 0 knows a little about other countries. He added that he was “trying to learn quickly tut your country [Bangladesh], so you students can teach me too.” These comments unicated that he saw both himself and his students as teachers and learners. He recognized and valued Wl'l uould "build on what you ME DI labeled in “tentative out] lhe sfdzhus prodded an medic information abou throes. Unable to find a l more Dr. Markus h excellls are included to h. Will} the expectation 1' COW Descript This course Will e) mfg): in Banglad 9mm 0fthis supp hm Wes of ener emironmema] r0 interactions heme associated environ dreSSCd._Emph headed, Where We course fT0m one to [1' CW Require The class will be c therefore Students J ”minute class , Semester, Smdents Prepared to deb; . anallsis of a inVlIOmnental imp “We a mom cognized and valued what students brought to the class and was clear that this class uld “build on what you already know.” Course design. Dr. Markus prepared a syllabus for the course, but explained and led it a “tentative outline” because he was unsure of how the class would progress. e syllabus provided an overview of the topic of energy and environment, as well as cific information about course requirements, grading, course readings, and outline of ses. Unable to find a textbook that focused on energy andrenvironment from a policy rspective, Dr. Markus had “pieced together the material” for the class. The following cerpts are included to help provide you a better understanding of the social context, )ecially the expectations communicated explicitly to the students. 1. Course Description: Energy and Environment This course will explore the present and firture supply and consumption of energy, in Bangladesh as well as world—wide, and explore the potential effects of this supply and its use on the environment. After covering the basic types of energy and energy technologies...and the basic types of environmental problems and impacts, the class will then consider the interactions between economic development, energy supply, and associated environmental impacts -— and how resulting conflicts can be addressed....Emphasis will be placed on assessing where we are now headed, where we should be headed, and how policy makeers can chart a course from one to the other of these futures. 11. Course Requirements and Grading The class will be conducted with both lectures and in—class discussions, therefore students are expected to have done all assigned readings before coming to class and be prepared to discuss them. Once or twice during the semester, students will be assigned to take a position on a question...and be prepared to debate the question with other students in class. Students will be required to participate in one group project. It will consist of an analysis of a particular topic relating to energy use and/or environmental impacts within Bangladesh or other developing country (or it can be a comparison across countries). lliere llill be a m Slnthesize the inf ahd make stateme developing count After going over ' iiigto get out of univer look up facts and figures. whining that he attemp melts than about men illih‘ to achieve this enc “hen I designed ‘ lUSt a bunch of tri alest And. so in ml“): I am hoi Il'lelIl l0 llllilk, get W his goal of having student factoids,” he explained t discrete pieces of infonna c0Illeptually; innead, the; lhave tlied to seiz Conceptual elemer in CS People [ray “I the decision 6 em: and i of vehicles‘ they’r. Cy Create this 1111 “ Yell good at, them into discussi. Dimmers, and feel 106 There will be a mid-term and a final exam...designed to test your ability to synthesize the information covered in the course, use information sources, and make statements about problems and solution regarding energy in developing countries. After going over the syllabus, Dr. Markus emphasized that “the most important hing to get out of university is how to think analytically and creatively....You can always ook up facts and figures.” During our interview, Dr. Markus echoed these sentiments, rxplaining that he attempted to design the course so that it would be more about learning oncepts than about memorizing facts. He is reflective and critical, however, about his bility to achieve this end. When I designed the course, I tried to think of how to keep it from being just a bunch of trivia, a bunch of factoids, that they then spit back at me on a test. And, so far, I don’t know how successful I’ve been at that. But anyway, I was hoping to design it in a way to get them to participate, get them to think, get them to reason and learn concepts, not just numbers. Role of instructor and learner. When I asked Dr. Markus how he tried to achieve Is goal of having students think and reason, as opposed to memorizing a bunch of actoids,” he explained that he made an effort to focus on concepts as opposed to more screte pieces of information. He was frustrated by the students’ resistance to thinking tnceptually; instead, they tended to receive all information without question. I have tried to seize upon the elements of any particular topic that are conceptual elements. Like today, I began to talk about what is it that makes people travel, and what are the forces in our lives that are gorng to affect the decisions about what kinds of vehicles we choose to use, how we use them, and that kind of thing. Not just, well, there are these kinds of vehicles, they’re used this much, they have this efficiency, and therefore they create this much pollution. This has definitely been an issue, I haven t been very good at, I haven’t quite figured out the techniques for drawmg them into discussions. They just copy down what I say, especrally any numbers, and feel like they’ve done their job. While Dr. Marku analytically and creatil'el background knowledge i more traditional approacl “boll you came at the co :uu oiraw facts.“ But 3W importantly. he beli italic information“ about auhnn He talked at lei moment. and the sin I ‘hlflk that you sl them to think to i memonze....BuL ; there are just [00 1 luxury of really fC and demonsnauni 9&1th lSjust a: ”"reiusr not it I d Ofcourse tha [link it Would be talk, BUI there ha up to a level Wher Sm“ cmuses, bl enter into a Semiri talking about thini (’ng out info, 0 ' that it ma Wheat thin fourth is, when they get ( ese facts and fig need to know f0r ‘ 107 While Dr. Markus talked about his desire to have students think and reason 1a1ytically and creatively, he attributed the students’ resistance to their limited ackground knowledge in environment. It soon became evident that he believes in a tore traditional approach to learning environment. He explained that depending on now you came at the course, there would be different things the students would need in :rms of raw facts.” But in all cases, there are basic things students need to know. And tost importantly, he believes that undergraduate students need to first “receive and digest asic information” about environment before they can do analytical and scientific linking. He talked at length about his beliefs about an ideal learning and teaching nvironment, and the struggles inherent in achieving his goals. I think that you should always give students a few assignments that require them to think, to be analytical, to think creatively, and not just memorize....But, in an undergraduate situation, the first couple of years there are just too many things to learn for you [the teacher] to have the luxury of really focusing on their [the students] sort of stepping forward and demonstrating, you know, their thinking abilities... Well, I think that part of it is just a need to accept the fact that this is just a ZOO-level course. They’re just not that far along with their studies yet. It’s not really the kind of course that’s intended to be say a seminar. There are times when I think it would be neat to just draw all the desks in a circle and sit around talk. But there haven’t been too many subjects where I feel that anybody’s up to a level where they could do that....After this course is over, and similar courses, by the third and fourth year they’ll be more prepared to enter into a seminar type environment, where people are sitting around talking about things in much more complex ways, and you’re not just throwing out information, you’re working through problems together....I. do think that it makes sense to wait, or at least to begin to reallyiemphasrze the analytical thinking skills and the writing skills, um, in the thrrd or - fourth year, after they’ve gotten through a lot of the basic stuff. The thing is, when they get out there in the real world, they will be able to look up all these facts and figures. They’ll get to relearn the parts that they really need to know for whatever position they’re in. mulled his Wow You know 1 ‘hjr mew, bu W inVOle that can be done material thin I w bang too many l you kno““ [fill my about Why students will arm cover et'Ethl-nl things to U)‘ 10 8 Despite Dr. Max hurling. he has adjuste inowledge of the basic: any from some of the effort to ensure that stu that he is determined It W. Dr information, synthesiZi ultimately flying to ex; Students With informat Students to review and toreaot to the articles. lluged or affected hi on ‘ - agiven issue. ldea' 108 As he struggled with the kind of teaching and learning he valued, Dr. Markus ritiqued his instructional practices in relation to the “coverage versus dep ” dilemma. You know, I think probably my weakness, and a feature of my inexperience, but if there were some way to combine the content with greater involvement, I’d love to do it. I just haven’t quite figured out how that can be done. So, I’m finding I’m having to even cut out some of the material that I would like to have covered...because there just ends up being too many basic things that I need to cover. I try to ask them a lot, if, you know, if I’m creating a list on the blackboard. Or if I’m wanting to think about why something is, I’ll throw out a question. But only a few students will answer....So, then you have the question of, do you try to cover everything, but you don’t cover it well, or do you try to pick out things to try to go into more detail? So, I’m trying to compromise. Despite Dr. Markus’ espoused preference for developing students' analytic sinking, he has adjusted his teaching to accommodate for his students’ limited nowledge of the basics. Specifically, he has “ratcheted down the level and is staying way from some of the complexity.” He has resorted to “relying more on lectures” in an ffort to ensure that students know “the givens, the basic understanding.” He explained rat he is determined to “spend more time to pound it in.” Evaluation. Dr. Markus designed his assignments to focus on “taking rformation, synthesizing it, summarizing it, um, and seeing two points of view, and ltimately trying to express themselves, where they stood on an issue.” He provided the udents with informative and diverse articles about nuclear power, and asked the udents to review and analyze the articles. In particular, Dr. Markus wanted the students l react to the articles, to see if they had opinions; and he wanted to know if the articles 1311ng or affected their opinions. Ideally, Dr. Markus wanted students to take a posrtron 1 a given issue. Ideally, he was trying to support, encourage, and reward more rammed ways of km clarity about his beliefs strong thing." which su lhe)"re going It [don't think the acmally fairly... I‘m quite app, as long as it‘s v that very well. been another w position even i make a stab at some of the 25: of being on the Similarly. Dr. i when and integm about issues. In panic Would encourage then h “helped fOCUS their tended to regllrgitate : ill mOSl Cases' Over. But it a they had this 1 Were several 1 Ink they 11m 0Ver the place SOmething, ar back, and... to tell eyeryfl. For the final I exam consist ofa qu 109 constructed ways of knowing. In practice, however, Dr. Markus believes that his lack of clarity about his beliefs, expectations, and goals may have left students “afraid to say the wrong thing,” which supported and encouraged received ways of knowing. They’re going to be afraid to say the wrong thing. They don’t know really, I don’t think they quite know where I come from on this issue. And I’m actually fairly...well, I’m not really neutral, but I’m able to see both sides. I’m quite happy to get either a strong pro-nuke or strong anti-nuke essay, as long as it’s well reasoned. And I don’t think they, maybe I didn’t say that very well. I should’ve. I should have made that point. That would’ve been another way to do this assignment, would be to tell them to take a position, even if it’s not totally in your heart. But just see, you know, make a stab at it. That might be something I’d do in the future, is to give some of the assignment of being on one side, and some of the assignment of being on the other side. Similarly, Dr. Markus had hoped that the midterm would encourage students to synthesize and integrate information, as well as develop and express their own opinions about issues. In particular, he hoped that giving students the essay questions in advance would encourage them to be thoughtful and thorough in their answers. While he believes it “helped focus their thinking,” it also had some negative repurcussions. The students tended to regurgitate as much information as possible. In most cases, I think they wrote them out ahead of time and just copied it over. But it also seemed to make them go into a data frenzy. They felt they had this obligation to spout numbers all over the place. And there were several papers, it was disappointing to see, they hadn’t, I don’t even think they understood what they were writing. Their thoughts were all over the place. And they just told me about one number, or one aspect of something, and they jumped over to something else, and then they came back, and...They weren’t organized in their thinking. They were just trying to tell everything they could think of. For the final exam, Dr. Markus tried to avoid this problem by having part of the exam consist of a quote that the students had never seen before. It was an attempt to encourage creative thi preferred goal and his t The course end question on the we never talker about and say forcing them It mum Neural need to make 5 think you can t thinking eleme in a discussion "ET." awe of how he provide sorne general mgflmm WE dlfifl being traded. Much I about this. although n tlnays defmd to wh Weston. He quickly very concerned about concerned about their concerned ab( them. And 30 es the m0} Stuck fairly c1, omally Curvt coneeI'Iled ab( grades. They 110 “encourage creative thinking.” Dr. Markus struggled with his desire to achieve this preferred goal and his concern for evaluating mastery of basic knowledge. The course ended up having quite a bit of just information. But my last question on the final was an attempt to get them to talk about something we never talked about in class, but pull together lots of ideas we had talked about, and say something intelligent. Uh, forcing them to, hopefully, also forcing them to piece together things that they’ve learned on the spot, and not just regurgitate...There are some basic things they need to know, and I need to make sure that they’re learning it. So you have to have that too. I think you can go too far the other way. It’s tricky to get that creative thinking element into the course, especially at this level. In a discussion about grading, Dr. Markus explained that the students were not very aware of how he was grading assignments until after they were completed. He did provide some general information about grading in the syllabus; however, each assignment was different so it was a challenge for students to determine how they were being graded. Much to Dr. Markus’ surprise, the students were largely unconcerned about this, although they did “try to figure out what he wanted.” Ultimately, the students always deferred to whatever grade Dr. Markus gave them, always accepting it without question. He quickly came to believe that the students at GU, like most students, were ivery concerned about and motivated by grades. But the students seemed much more concerned about their grades relative to the other students in the class than about their actual individual grade. Well, first of all, these kids are probably typical in that they were very concerned about their grades. Grades seem to be highly motivational for them. And so the more you link everything to a certain aspect of the grade, the more they’re going to react to it and give you a response. I stuck fairly closely to a numerical system that added up to 100. I didn’t formally curve the class at all....I was wondering if I was going to get any grief about [not being clear about how I graded]. I mean, they were very concerned about their grades, but I had very few complaints about specific grades. They just sort of accepted it. They were very deferring to me on the way 1 gm: asked how dlt fit in compare poorly on son they didn‘t se 3. How did Rahnum Early in the s comfortable enough ‘ he's a foreigner.“ R1 before because they 4 Despite herd immediately liked in Communicated What Di Mains provided ellflflls. He has a goo doesn’t take 1 Became it re He, 1 think, '1] more flexible l’ll knoW Wit; flips from to] d most of need 10 know the trends.” ‘ O onum'tie someone Who is “Ve‘ Ma’kus’ ability to a 111 the way I graded them. It’s funny, I think they’re more, several of them asked how did other people do. They were more concerned with how they fit in compared to other students than their absolute grade. And if they did poorly on something, but found out that a lot of people did poorly, then they didn’t seem to mind so much. 3. How did Rahnuma inteppret her teacher’s instructional practices? Early in the semester (during the second week of classes), Rahnuma didn’t feel comfortable enough with Dr. Markus to share her opinions; this was “mainly because he’s a foreigner.” Rahnuma explained that she has had bad experiences with foreigners before because they are so unwilling or unable to appreciate Bangladesh. Despite her discomfort with Dr. Markus because he is a foreigner, she immediately liked him because he is “really nice” and “really human,” and because he communicated what he wants fiom his students on the exams. According to Rahnuma, Dr. Markus provided important cues that helped her to know what he wanted on his exams. He has a good sense of humor. He’s not an uptight person, you know, he doesn’t take himself too seriously. That’s what I really like about him. Because it really bores me, all these professor types. They are so boring. He, I think, irnprovises a lot as he goes along which makes things a lot more flexible. Another thing is, when he asks me a question on the exam, I’ll know what he’s looking for, what he wants. Because of the way he flips from topic to topic, I can sort of predict what he wants me to know. And most of the time I’m right. It’s very helpful when he says, “You don’t need to know this...” or “This is important...” or “You only need to know the trends.” These are the most important things that teachers give out. Opportunities for voice. Rahnuma also described her teacher, Dr. Markus, as someone who is “very open to questions...a real person.” This encouraged Rahnuma to Speak up, to say what she was thinking. In particular, Rahnuma is impressed with Dr. Markus’ ability to admit he does not know everything; it helped her to feel more comfortable when She melt uncommon. smears. and “mm 1mm D" M; deem-L n hel} really 11”me Most when whey would RahnUma‘S rel net honing D" M‘ with not challenge hi rally M him"'1 He’s seen me 6659th have a an idea of wh to feel comfortab1e an questions. safe enoug She felt that E about the environmen the studies might not not believe that there “He [Dr Markus] wo his.” Rahnllma thin from different cultura 112 comfortable when she does not know something. According to Rahnuma, this is extremely uncommon. Most teachers do not think aloud either in front of or with their students, and consequently these teachers distance themselves from the students. I mean, Dr. Markus, Sir, he says he doesn’t know something when he doesn’t. It helps me to feel all right about not knowing something....lt’s really uncommon for a teacher here to say they don’t know everything... Most teachers here, including my math teacher, are so pompous. My math teacher would rather shoot himself than admit he didn’t know something. Rahnuma’s relationship with Dr. Markus changed over the course of the semester. After knowing Dr. Markus for approximately six weeks, Rahnuma no longer felt like she could not challenge him merely because he was “a foreigner.” She now felt that she “really km him...I mean, he’s seen me panic. He’s seen me, like, lose my marbles. He’s seen me ecstatic over a good grade. So, he really knows what I’m all about. And I have a fair idea of what he’s all about.” And knowing each other is critical for Rahnuma to feel comfortable and safe enough to risk sharing her opinions and to risk asking - questions, safe enough to have a voice. She felt that Dr. Markus was “very open—minded” about the diversity of opinions about the environmental issues she was studying; “he was open enough to understand that the studies might not be working.” Even more to the point, however, is that Rahnuma did not believe that there would be any negative consequences if she offered her opinions. “He [Dr. Markus] wouldn’t give me a low grade because my opinion was different than his.” Rahnuma thinks that it took longer to get to know Dr. Markus because they come from different cultural backgrounds. But over the course of the semester, Rahnuma hand that her negati‘ Rahnuma said that she understand our culture nderstand the Bengal comfortable sharing ht Students are ki lithe was expecting in much in agreer soWilling. Teachers things that their studer km“- Thus, she was that he does not lino“ about. In addition sh other SIlldents becaus. I’m cOmfortat doesm know: When I didn’t And I think it have a clue wt W emphasis on “dents shflfing her SublECtivt 113 learned that her negative stereotypes about foreigners did not apply to Dr. Markus. Rahnuma said that she has had “really bad experiences with foreigners who don’t try to understand our culture.” In contrast, she learned that Dr. Markus was trying to understand the Bengali culture. Because Rahnuma found Dr. Markus “so open” she felt comfortable sharing her ideas and opinions with him, even when they are different from his. Students are knowers. It was not uncommon for Dr. Markus to tell his students that he was expecting them to know more about something than he himself knows. This is very much in agreement with Rahnuma’s views about knowledge, that everyone knows something. Teachers do not necessarily know more than their students; they know some things that their students don’t know, and their students know some things that they don’t know. Thus, she was comfortable with Dr. Markus expecting her to know some things that he does not know. Throughout the class, she had always known what he was talking about. In addition, she felt that this expectation put her at an advantage relative to the other students because she knew so much more than them in this class. I’m comfortable with [Dr. Markus expecting me to know things that he doesn’t know], because so far I haven’t, I mean, it hasn’t come to that when I didn’t know what he’s talking about. So, I’m comfortable with it. And I think it gives me an edge because the rest of the class really doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about. 4. How did Rahnuma respond to her teacher’s instructional practices? Demonstrates subjective and constructed knowing. Encouraged by Dr. Markus’ emphasis on students’ opinions and exploration of ideas, Rahnuma felt comfortable Sharing her subjective and constructed knowledge during class discussions, and did so qnteofteu Based on b expressed an opinion di problem writing her on W has open to new and d tinned to hear on the t know. And I still erit conceptual questions “ attained that Dr. Ma Bangladesh?“ While believes that Dr. Marl FMm'lhat this is ; IOU know What the re allltfopriate for Bang} When Rahnur hw’ she Says that sh “W Write, “From 1 between What She tht Mm only Challenged Dr. Ralmm Was pattic 114 quite often. Based on her belief that Dr. Markus would not lower her grade if she expressed an opinion different than his, Rahnuma explained that she did not have any problem writing her own ideas for the environment project. Demonstrates received knowing. Even though Rahnuma believed that Dr. Markus was open to new and different ideas, she still felt like she had to say what she thought he wanted to hear on the exams. She explained that she “can still tell what he wants to know. And I still write that down.” Rahnuma explained that Dr. Markus asked conceptual questions “which ask you for your point of View.” For example, Rahnuma explained that Dr. Markus asks them, “Do you think nuclear power is appropriate for Bangladesh?” While Rahnuma says that the question asks her for her opinion, she believes that Dr. Markus really wants her to take a particular position. “Basically, I mean, you know that this is grossly inappropriate. It’s like, what he really wants to know is, do you know what the reasons are? He wants you to tell him why nuclear power is not - appropriate for Bangladesh. So that’s what I say.” When Rahnuma strongly disagrees with what she thinks Dr. Markus wants to hear, she says that she will try to show both sides. Specifically, Rahnuma said that she would write, “From my perspective, there are benefits and costs...” It was a compromise between what she thought that Dr. Markus really wanted to hear, and what she really wanted to say. Silencing herself: Fear of negative consequences. Rahnuma explained that she only challenged Dr. Markus if there were no negative consequences. In particular, Rahnuma was particularly worried about sharing a different position if there was the min in her grad japan Rahnuma leer rodents in the LIS. pilt nkeeping her voice pr It [saying what challenge him. going to be pol But I mean he challenge him ' all this stuff. at Rabnuma‘s m2 of one hour. There we The room wu COHSldt W 5° many Chairs 5 All the Chairs were in room. Rahnuma alw: Zheen. AS in her env Sitting Up Straight in ‘ and as She bccarne ir ooncemed With malo and ready to begin. U11like in her For most of the Semi 115 possibility that her grade would be lowered. When she believed that her grade was in jeopardy, Rahnuma kept her opinions to herself. Similar to the American women students in the US. pilot study (Welte, 1995), Rahnuma resigned herself to being silent, to keeping her voice private, to ensure a high grade point average. It [saying what I think] depends what we’re doing. Sometimes I do challenge him. Like, [I say], what about this then? But these things are going to be polluting? But these things are going to be ugly? You know. But, I mean, he is the professor. And he’s going to grade me. So, I only challenge him when he can’t lower my grade. But it’s okay, I’ll memorize all this stuff, and say what he wants. Rahnuma in Her Mathematics Class Rahnuma’s math class started at noon. It met three times each week for a period of one hour. There were twenty-eight students in the class, ten of whom were women. The room was considerably larger than her environment classroom, but similarly, there were so many chairs squeezed into the room that it was hard to maneuver comfortably. All the chairs were in rows, with the teacher’s podium and blackboard at the front of the room. Rahnuma always sat in either the first or second row, and always next to her friend Zareen. As in her environment class, she was physically attentive throughout the class, sitting up straight in her chair, and taking notes diligently. As the semester progressed, and as she became increasingly comfortable with her teacher, she became more and more concerned with making eye contact with the teacher. She was always on time, prepared, and ready to begin. She and the other students called him “Sir,” or “the Math Sir.” Unlike in her environment class, however, it was rare to hear Rahnuma’s voice. For most of the semester, she remained silent, not even asking clarification questions. At the end of the semestfl She was not form gm dafi Modded a SUM] ming- Mal—MAM Mum ente mm many of be". her mind that “math 5 before. but dropped i‘ new she has such not pay any attention thinks she needs to k When I was 2 interested in high school 3 think 1 misse Also, Rahnu both of her parents t Consequently, she c described herself as him laziness, but developed in that at And, I don’ always been laZy...You : t is whe 116 the end of the semester, Rahnuma began to speak up, asking questions about the material. She was not forthright in sharing her opinions about mathematical concepts, and thus this class provided a striking contrast in which to observe Rahnuma’s ways of knowing and learning. 1b. What did Rahnuma bring to her mathematics class? Rahnuma entered her math class knowing that she hates math. Rahnuma attributed many of her problems in math to the discipline of math itself. It was clear in her mind that “math sucks” because it is “so boring.” She had started to take this class before, but dropped it because she did not like the teacher. She said she hates math because she has such a poor foundation for the subject. When she was younger, she did not pay any attention in her classes, and now knows very little of the math basics she thinks she needs to know. Rahnuma explained, When I was a lot younger, I was not into classes at all. I was only interested in passing my classes. Basically I started studying in my late high school years. Before that, I was like, yeah, just hanging out. So I think I missed out on a lot of classes. I just had other things to do. Also, Rahnuma was not surprised that she was struggling to learn math because both of her parents were history majors and “only developed that part of their brain.” Consequently, she does not think of herself as good with sciences or math. Instead, she described herself as “a liberal arts kind of person.” She wondered if part of her problem is just laziness, but then attributed her deficiency in math to not having a brain that is developed in that area. And, I don’t know. I’ve never been good with sciences or math. I’ve always been a liberal arts kind of person. I don’t know, maybe I’m just lazy...You see, I didn’t learn anything new in math after the fifth grade. That is where my learning disability kicked in. After that, I just sort of like zoned out. are from 8115 ha then uhen thes happell...l mear Prior to “Hive“ gmon she ane when“ She does ? iristmivmiil'- and 5‘1 spoonfed. But she 83 There are soft Shall) minds. 1 get what they spoonfed act think is the w this isn’t scht Unlike the so intimidated when sh solve it. She explair and she always choc is Unable to see the . Well, [the st intimidated. ohrnygod, I With this. A With math, 1 or the Wron And there i: And the per Plug in that different to 117 like zoned out. Math is not my high point, nope...I mean both my parents are from arts background. They’re both history majors. Imean, God, how boring. So basically they just underuse their brains all their lives. And then when these two hook up together...oh, God, I mean this was bound to happen...1 mean I abhor math. I bombed math. Prior to university, Rahnuma explained that she had always been spoon-fed the information she needed to know for the exams. “So now it’s really difficult not being spoonfed.” She does not think the teacher is supposed to spoon-feed her, especially since it is university, and she knows that the students who are good in math do not need to be spoonfed. But she said that she “requires a lot more attention” to learn math. There are some students who can do math easily, because they have very sharp minds, and they can really place things in such a way that they can get what they want out of the formulas. But I’m not that type. I need to be spoonfed, actually. I realize that this is too late for that. But the way that I think is the way that you think in school [elementary and secondary]. But this isn’t school, this is university. Unlike the students who Ralmuma described as “good in math,” Rahnuma gets intimidated when she sees a math problem, and is unable to think clearly about how to solve it. She explained that in math there are right and wrong ways to solve a problem, and she always chooses the wrong way, the “more difficult route.” She believed that she is unable to see the obvious assumptions that she needs to see. Well, [the students who are good in math] they usually don’t get intimidated. Like when I look at a math problem, I’m like, ohmygod, ohmygod, I can’t do this. And they’re like, hmm, let me see what I can do with this. And they usually have the right approach to thinking. It’s like, with math, they give you a problem, and you can either take the right way or the wrong way. I always take the wrong way, the more difficult route. And there is always this easy, obvious assumption that I will never see. And the person with the sharp mind will be like, oh, this is easy. I’ll just plug in that so-and-so formula. And I’ll probably have a completely different formula for it. Based on analy: this section discusses v class. More specifical‘ nith cenain expectant about teaching and tea the knowledge of mat talents come to kno about evaluating stud one diSCussed durin; Might after the co MI. Zaman b When on the boar Dhaka University_ ; asking the students 1 aresponse, he then 1 read aloud What he . then added, both We endurple of a set on M Verbally and in T0 ill“Shale his po are 113% Mr. 2.8m 118 2. What did Rahnuma’s teacher bring to the mathematics class? Based on analysis of interviews, classroom observations, and course materials, this section discusses what Rahnuma’s mathematics teacher, Mr. Zaman, brought to the class. More specifically, Mr. Zaman designed the course, consciously and unconsciously, with certain expectations and a particular reward system in mind. He had certain views about teaching and learning the subject of mathematics, including views of the nature of the knowledge of mathematics, beliefs about how to teach mathematics, views of how his students come to know and learn mathematics, beliefs about the role of peers, and beliefs about evaluating students’ learning. The majority of the comments I have included here were discussed during our third interview. Thus, Mr. Zaman made these cements in hindsight after the course was completed. Mr. Zaman began the first class by writing his name, the course and section numbers on the board, as well as information about other classes he was teaching at ' Dhaka University. After writing this information on the board, he began immediately by asking the students the following question: What is a set? Without getting or waiting for a response, he then proceded to write the answer to his question on the board. He then read aloud what he had just written on the board, “A set is a collection of objects.” He then added, both verbally and in writing, the adjective “well—defined.” He then wrote an example of a set on the board, {1,2,3}, and said the example aloud. He then explained, both verbally and in writing, that we denote sets by capital letters, namely A, B, X, and Y. To illustrate his point, he wrote, A={ 1,2,3}, on the board. A student asked why brackets are used. Mr. Zaman responded by saying that “brackets are the set notation.” He then note the following 01 to fill in the answer tc Each class ses second he would rem he would protide a p‘ to come to the board problems at their des Course desig describing the course Ummsill‘h and gm 1. Course I)‘ This is one o re‘llliremenn Class is requ prerequisite other studen At the end 0 based on the to Come to t later than 1( their assi who will fai 1' Set The( a) S 2' C00rdin 119 wrote the following on the board: The set of first five alphabet, A=, and asked a student to fill in the answer to A. Each class session proceded in this way: first, he would write a definition; second, he would read the definition aloud; third, he would provide an example; fourth, he would provide a problem for the students to solve. Sometimes the students were asked to come to the board to solve the problems, other times the students were told to solve the problems at their desk. Course design. At the end of the first class session, he passed out a syllabus describing the course requirements, topics (which Mr. Zaman said were required by the University), and grading system. The following exercepts are included to give you a better sense of what expectations were explicitly communicated. 1. Course Description: Basic University Mathematics This is one of the courses offered by the University which fulfills the requirements of “Basic Sciences” for graduation from the University. This class is required for all the students of this University. There is no prerequisite for the students who have science background, but for the other students Remedial Mathematics is a prerequisite. At the end of the course a letter grade will be awarded to the students based on their performance throughout the semester. Students are required to come to the class on time. No students will be allowed to enter the class later than 10 minutes from the start of class. Students are expected to do their assignments individually. No extra tests will be arranged for students who will fail to take their test on prescribed dates. 11. Description of Course Material: Total 44 Lectures 1. Set Theory and Theory of Numbers: 8 letures a) Sets, Notations, Finite and infinite sets... 2. Coordinate Geometry: 11 lectures 3. Calculus: 1 4. Matrices: 4 5. Vector: 4 1 During our int hopes and expectation communicated cxplit have a desire to learn something about mat office hours. but ratl how that students c help students under: He explaine. he believes that has llhen I asked him t he told me that ‘to mathematics [will . thinks about math somewhat due to 11 questions I asked, He thinks 1 believed this; i.e., believes that that} 120 3. Calculus: 17 lectures 4. Matrices: 4 lectures 5. Vector: 4 lectures During our interview, Mr. Zaman explained that while he had written some of his hopes and expectations in the syllabus, there were some things which he had not communicated explicitly to his students. In particular, he said “I want [my students] to have a desire to learn mathematics....And I am ready to help anyone if they want to know something about mathematics.” Due to a heavy teaching load, he was not having regular office hours, but rather just meeting his students in between and after classes. He let me know that students can meet with him whenever he is free because he is “always ready to help students understand mat .” He explained that this course is a basic math course, and went on to explain that he believes that basic math is needed “basic math is needed for every field, every field.” When I asked him why, however, he wasn’t as clear about what he believed. Eventually, he told me that “to have a sharp brain you need mathematics. The practice of mathematics [will develop] a sharp brain.” He was even less able to tell me how he thinks about math as a discipline. He just said, “I don’t know.” This may have been somewhat due to language barriers, although he did not even attempt to answer any of the questions I asked. He thinks that basic math is very easy, although he couldn’t explain why he believed this; i.e., he couldn’t articulate what makes math easy. He did say that he believes that math ability comes from natural ability and practice. Some of the students, henna, don’t find tl eitherapoor or no mt placement test to dete Unforhmately, this yt students ended up in to Zaman “the office Ideally, he th semester. He explai Four months is not e makes it diflicult fOl ““1011 materialf‘ He “Kl the students hat Situation 56110me a 0111 in half. [cam math First, I toucepm “They n: Students need to le Students need to “l immanl that the students lust meme 121 however, don’t find the class easy. According to Mr. Zaman, this is because they have either a poor or no math background. The administration is supposed to give students a placement test to determine which students must take the remedial math class. Unfortunately, this year they did not give the placement test, and consequently many students ended up in this basic math class who were not adequately prepared. According to Zaman, “the office made too many mistakes.” Ideally, he thinks that the course should be taught over one year, instead of just a semester. He explained that one semester “isn’t enough time for so much material.” Four months is not enough time to practice and understand the material. The limited time makes it difficult for both him and the students, especially because he “has to cover so much material.” He was frustrated by not having enough time to explain things in depth, and the students have difficulty understanding the concepts in so little time. The political situation seriously aggravated this problem because the course meeting time was nearly cut in half. Role of learner. Mr. Zaman shared some thoughts about how he believes students learn math. First, he said, that the students need to understand the definitions of the concepts. “They need to learn what the basic things are. First learn what it is.” Then the students need to learn how to use these concepts, “the process of the sums.” Finally, the students need to “practice” using the concepts. Mr. Zaman explained that it was very important that the students understand the concepts and not just memorize them. Some students just memorize, but that doesn’t work. He said, “First you have to understand, then you can memoriz points must be there.” He gave me at erplained the topic 01 paraphrased what he First the stud must understz objects. Stud understand th sets: i.e., to h practice using ability to use Zaman said I good students. Mos 1m, but these stud that Rahnuma stoot identified and discu Was a Participant in She was Very intert know all the excep gill all A_ “because New definitions and ex: and placllCe the C( 122 then you can memorize. It’s okay to write the definition in your own langauge, but all the points must be there.” He gave me an example to show me how he believed that students learn math. He explained the topic of set theory (which I provided an example of earlier), and I have paraphrased what he said as close to his own telling as possible. First, the students must understand that a set is a collection of objects; they must understand the definitions of collection, objects, and well-defined objects. Students should be able to give examples of sets to show that they understand the definition of a set. Then students must learn how to use sets; i.e., to have union and intersection of sets. Finally, students must practice using sets. And then they are tested on their understanding of and ability to use sets. Zaman said that only a few students ask any questions, and these are usually the good students. Most of the questions are about the exams. He is very pleased with the few students who want to learn. He says that it is difficult to tell which students want to learn, but these students tend to ask different kinds of questions. In particular, he said that Rahnuma stood out as one of the few students who really wants to learn. (He identified and discussed Rahnuma’s learning and performance without knowing that she was a participant in the study). She asks a lot of questions that show she wants to learn. She was very interested in knowing all the possible ways to solve a sum; she wanted to know all the exceptions. But, he said, that she will probably not get an A; she will only get an A- “because she needed more practice.” Role of instructor. Mr. Zaman sees his role as providing students with the definitions and examples of the mathematical concepts, giving them opportunities to use and practice the concepts, answering their questions, and testing their understanding. He mined 1h“ “is unl he tells hem “131 “5°! and tojust linoW mi: midents ask qumon believes his 5‘“de PMS to the g°°d 3 MM- : on exams- ML Zam makes four or five d djfierent nutnbers it makes the exams “e of the exam iS very” get an A, A: B“: ‘1 Ml. Zaman but after “so many class assignments a any cheating/copyi abig cheating prol Cheat they will.” proctors to be ven 123 explained that it’s unusual for students to question the givens in math. But when they do, he tells them that “some things we cannot explain. It is just part of a definition and we need tojust know this.” He explained that he does his best to explain things when students ask questions. When students stop asking questions, and say “I understand,” he believes his students have learned the material. He explained that he teaches the same process to the good and the poor students so that they can all understand it. Evaluation. Seventy percent of a student’s grade was based on their performance on exams. Mr. Zaman explained that it was very important that tests are “fair.” Thus, he makes four or five different tests for each class. They are basically the same, but he uses different numbers in the sums, and orders the questions differently. He said that he makes the exams “easy enough so the students can pass.” Specifically, he said that 60% of the exam is very easy so that “the maximum [number of students] will pass.” But to get an A, A-, B+, “the students need to work hard because the rest of the test isn’t so easy.” Mr. Zaman said that he assigned the students practice problems for homework, but after “so many students cheated...everyone copied,” he limited the number of out of class assignments and administered more tests. This was to ensure that there wouldn’t be any cheating/copying because he is very concerned about being fair. He said that there is a big cheating problem in Bangladesh, including at GU. “If students get a chance to cheat, they will.” So he does what he can to make sure they don’t cheat, requiring the proctors to be very strict during the exams. Although he i great deal of time du silly mistakes." He i exams. but “ants to give them the me While he h0j just want a good gr: not interested in um they “ill do well or do the required won "Students need to \ When he g1 Myers. If the prc credit. Ifthe answ he says that the m for Other pro c e dur W BY the see all it involved Wa 124 Although he is very concerned about students cheating during exams, he spends a great deal of time during the exams helping the students himself by “pointing out their silly mistakes.” He is somewhat worried about this practice of helping students during exams, but wants to help his students do as well as possible. He explained that he doesn’t give them the answers, but does want them to correct their careless errors. While he hopes his students learned some math, he believes that most students just want a good grade. Some students even ask him for the grade they want. They are not interested in understanding the sums, but rather just want to memorize them so that they will do well on the exams. Mr. Zaman won’t just give out grades unless the students do the required work. Students must do all the required assignments to pass. He said, “Students need to work for their grades.” When he grades the students’ exams, he reads the entire exam, not just the answers. If the process is right, but the answer is wrong, he said he gives the student 50% credit. If the answer is right, and the process is wrong, the student gets no credit. While he says that the students can write their answers any way they like and he will give credit for other procedures, he also acknowledged that he “prefers his procedure.” 3. How did Rahnuma interpret her teacher’s instructional practices? By the second week of classes, Rahnuma was bored with her math class because all it involved was memorizing whatever her teacher said; there was no independent thinking required or allowed. She explained that “There’s nothing to think about. Just write everything down and live with it.” According to Rahnuma, Mr. Zaman was satisfied when she p‘ Rahnuma knew that w only gave credit for credit Once. 1 mad: problem right I jus framed with hers mistake,” she adde she was also frustn that She had solver indeed solved it or hhfit “I was lik. like, (said with say teacher was racin; and some ofthe c much material in much new materi no time to 3Ctual‘ introducing new choice but to “ta He Was j‘ Vegas. I Just leav 125 satisfied when she plugged the numbers in the formula and got the right answer. But Rahnuma knew that she had not learned the formula. Product versus process. When evaluating his students’ performance, Mr. Zaman only gave credit for right answers. “If you don’t get the answer right, you don’t get any credit. Once, I made this really silly mistake, and he gave me a zero. I mean, I solved the problem right, I just thought my marking was a minus sign.” Rahnuma was mostly fiustIated with herself about this. After telling me that she had only made a “really silly mistake,” she added, “Can you imagine? I am so dumb.” She did tell me, however, that she was also frustrated with Mr. Zaman. She tried to explain her mistake to him, saying that she had solved the problem correctly, but all he did was acknowledge that she had indeed solved it correctly. Rahnuma did not find this acknowledgment particularly helpful. “I was like, Sir, but I did it correctly.” And he was like, “I know.” And I was like, (said with sarcasm) “Great, it’s really a big comfort that you know.” Silenced by others. Rahnuma’s last math class was unlike the other classes. Her teacher was racing through the material since the semester was about to end. Rahnuma, and some of the other students, tried to voice their concerns about him giving them so much material in such a short period of time. They were very concerned about how so much new material would affect their performance on the final exam because there was no time to actually learn the material. Despite the students’ protests, Mr. Zaman kept introducing new material. Rahnuma explained that she and the other students had no choice but to “take whatever he gives us.” He wasjust going on and on. He was on a roll. It was like get him to Las Vegas. I mean, if he wants to be on a roll, he can go be on a roll there. Just leave us alone. He kept giving us new sums, and saying they were practice sum want to do a them at hom was like, ye entire chaptr to do all of 1 so intelliger the entire cl mean very 1 went on. H anyway. I r 4. How did Rahnu Demonstra Rahnuma Mr. Zar interest in actually ...what be you have t 2 minutes like ohmy and that s formula. my mind 1 pressed fc Self-w RahIttlma was rel it makes me feel Questions in Clas «really dunlb am discouraged her discouraged R31 his face, like, hc 126 practice sums. So everyone was moaning, shouting actually, that we don’t want to do all of this. And he just said, They’re practice sums, you do them at home. One guy said, “Can we go home now and do them?” And I was like, yeah, can we go home now please. Oh, God. I think he did the entire chapter on integration on one day. Now, people usually take 2 years to do all of this. And we just did it in one day. [sarcastically says] We are so intelligent. Ooh, we are, we are. I mean, he wanted to make sure he did the entire chapter. It was so fi'ustrating. I mean, I understood very little, I mean very little. Basically we were just protesting everything. But he just went on. He knew us. He knew we would scream a lot, but just take it anyway. I mean, we just take whatever he gives us. 4. How did Rahnuma respond to her teacher’s instructional practices? Demonstrates received knowing: Plugging in the numbers. According to Rahnuma, Mr. Zaman’s emphasis on just getting the right answer caused her to lose interest in actually understanding the formula. ...what he does is he gives us a formula, and then he gives us a sum which you have to use the formula with. But he has just given the formula to us 2 minutes before. And I haven’t even come to terms with the formula. I’m like ohmygod, And then I just plug in the values and give him the answer, and that satisfies him. But I really don’t understand...I haven’t learned the formula. I mean, I know what it looks like. But, you know, that just turns my mind off, and I never go back and really learn anything....I mean, he’s pressed for time because the class is really big, but still. Self-silencing: Fear of jeopardizing relationships. For most of the semester Rahnuma was reluctant to get help from Mr. Zaman either during or after class “because it makes me feel really dumb.” She thought she did not know enough to ask any questions in class, or she thought that the only questions she was capable of asking were “really dumb and stupid.” The negative reactions on the part of the other students further discouraged her from trying to get the help she wanted and needed. Mr. Zaman also discouraged Rahnuma from asking questions in class because “he gets this expression on his face, like, how come you don’t know this.” In addition, Rahnuma described the atmosphere in class students knew more for not knowing em forgetting upset wi I can’t reall done more to ask any ( dumb. Ant '“oof [she her questio really stupi questions. him why h sign and it that is so c someone v Rahnuma started material, such as herself as “ham confidence she n. qUESllons abom i EVen Wit “ling Mr. zam, knows me-l' He? relationship wi 1] nm developed a ' v ‘-_.,../ 127 atmosphere in class as “kind of intimidating.” Rahnuma believed that most of the other students knew more than her, and that she was the exception. Thus, she blamed herself for not knowing enough math, and did not find fault with Mr. Zaman or her classmates for getting upset with her questions. I can’t really blame them for looking at me like that. I mean, I should have done more math when I was younger....I mean, I don’t even know enough to ask any questions in class. And the questions that I do ask are really dumb. And the people in front of me, who really know math, go like “001” [she makes a sound to show that the other students are frustrated by her questions]. And so I just stop asking questions, because they’re like really stupid questions. And I’m the only one who asks dumb questions...Like the other day, Sir put a formula on the board and I asked him why he did something. He said that’s because he’s taken the minus sign, and it’s a common thing. And the rest of the class was like, “But that is so obvious, you don’t even have to ask that question.” And someone went, “Oof.” Public voice but no ublic o inions. During the last three weeks of the semester, Rahnuma started to feel more comfortable in her math class. She had studied some of the material, such as matrices, before and believed she understood it well. She described herself as “having an easier time with this material.” Knowing the material gave her the confidence she needed to ask “smart questions.” She started to speak up and ask questions about the material. Even with the new material on limits and functions, she still felt comfortable asking Mr. Zaman questions about the material because she said, “He knows me now. He knows me.” Her confidence was clearly growing as she felt she had developed a relationship with her teacher, and she said so. She even went so far as to say that the reason the earlier material, such as straight lines, was so difficult was because they had not developed a relationship. Even though problem. it now. Strai g wasn’t comi fact straigh‘ During this questions and to tal she had been panic behaiior in her ma the material becau she had begun to c hating a personal “ith Rahnuma tlu the her the Oppo‘ Having a . felt that her teach lhints increased ‘ Material more 00 am" being emb Was “0 1Ottger in “More She w arelationship w silent; She Chos¢ We“, 1 2 Antither him [the 128 Even though functions and limits are a new topic for me, it’s not a problem. I’m still asking questions. I think I’m more confident in class now. Straight lines were really bad because he didn’t really know me. I wasn’t comfortable. Because now I think straight lines are really easy. In fact, straight lines are easy, functions are much more complicated really. During this time when Rahnuma understood the material, she began to ask a lot of questions and to talk with her math teacher quite a bit. This was very different than how she had been participating in her math class until now. Rahnuma described her different behavior in her math class as the result of two things: one, she was more confident about the material because she felt that she understood; and two, and perhaps most importantly, she had begun to develop her relationship with her teacher, and she felt that she was now having a personal conversation with him. She believed Mr. Zaman was communicating with Rahnuma throughout the class to make sure that she understood the material, and to give her the opportunity to ask questions when she did not understand. Having a relationship with Mr. Zaman was essential for Rahnuma’s learning.- She felt that her teacher now understood how she was making sense of math. Together these things increased Rahnuma’s confidence and enabled her to ask questions and discuss the material more comfortably. This relationship with her teacher overpowered her concerns about being embarrassed, and she no longer kept her questions to herself. In addition, she Was no longer intimidated by the other students; she just did not care about them anymore. She was more concerned about herself and her learning than about maintaining a relationship with her classmates. In this case, she had not resigned herself to staying silent; she chose not to keep her mouth shut. Well, I am more confident now because I understand this material. Another thing was that, well for the past few weeks, I’ve been going to him [the teacher] a lot after class and stuff. Saying stuff like, explain this to me, and l more confrc‘ clarifies cer This is so ‘ it? And In with him at a damn wh lam. Yeal he understz basically n anymore. Self-silenc better rmderstandi that she vm doir least privately ant illitean1 w, thing? Y1 invented ‘ Why?! I Rahnuma Problems. She v Significant way 1 words, She am] “may, but sh Where [he gian Well, i : solve th the righ‘ dOH’t se grvm ' 129 to me, and I can’t do circles or something. And basically that gave me more confidence, now I have better eye contact with him. And so like he clarifies certain things while he’s looking at me. Like, you know, he says, “This is so because this is this...” And he looks at me like, have you got it? And I’m like, uh-huh, I got that. I mean, I can have a conversation with him about the material. You know, I know him better, so I don’t give a damn what the rest of the class thinks because they’re even stupider than I am. Yeah. So, like I’m more free to ask him questions because I know he understands my position. You know? And the rest of the class is basically not there. I’m not intimidated anymore. I mean, I just don’t care anymore. They’re just idiots [the other students]. Self—silencing: Private subjective knowing. Feeling more comfortable with and better understanding the material gave Rahnuma time to think about why she was doing what she was doing, instead of just trying to get the answers. She began to question, at least privately and with me, the givens in the math formulas and equations. I mean, why do we have to believe this, that we have to multiply the whole thing? You know, why do we have to believe this?....I mean, who invented this, anyway? I mean, yes, let’s have numbers that run around. Why?! Like, why not have numbers that sit in chairs or something? Rahnuma realized that she was willing to accept the givens, but only to solve the problems. She was very clear, however, that she did not “really accept” the givens in any significant way because she did not understand them or see their relevance. In other words, she accepts the givens enough so that she can solve the problems on the test correctly, but she doesn’t accept that they should be givens. She doesn’t understand where the givens come from and why she has to accept them. Well, I accept the givens, but I don’t really accept them. I mean, I can solve the problems using the givens. I mean, I’m good at it. And I’ll get the right answer. And that’s important for doing well on the exams. But I don’t see the relevance in all of this. And I definitely don’t understand the given. I’m a really big skeptic, a really big skeptic. Now that R: opposed to just solV be studying such m hating to study cor could not tell them even he saw no us [mean the mean for 1 doing this’ now we ha started doi vectors art numbers t What, why doing wit] Place in li [ML Zam need thes. Rahnuma ‘math atheist.” 1 “its math as a re believe in math, ‘0 do so. I don’t b What to l bCIICVe i Should h mean, “ religion Adam a Christia We 6er agree. ' 130 Now that Rahnuma had time to contemplate what she was doing and why, as opposed to just solving the problems, she thought there was “no reason” why they should be studying such mathematical concepts. She was becoming visibly frustrated about having to study concepts for which she saw no use. She exclaimed that even Mr. Zaman could not tell them why they needed to study such things, because according to Rahnuma, even he saw no use for this material either. I mean, the thing is, you have to like get it into this echelon form, and, I mean, for m reason. I mean, why bother, really. I mean, why are we doing this? God knows. Somebody sat down and figured this out and now we have to pay for it. Anyways, that was that. And now we’ve started doing vectors and scalers. Now, this is even more strange. I mean, vectors are numbers basically which are running around. And scalers are numbers that stay put. Now, who needs this concept anyway? What, what, why? Where do you put this to use? I have no idea what they’re doing with this. Why do we need this? I mean, I can’t imagine a single place in life, you know, where I’d be required to know matrices...Even [ML Zaman] is not saying anything, because even he knows you don’t need these things. Rahnuma was so frustrated by the uselessness of math that she declared herself a “math atheist.” She went on to explain that she has declared herself as such because she sees math as a religion which she does not believe. She explained that it is a choice to believe in math, and she chooses not to believe in it because she does not see any reason to do so. I don’t believe in math. You see, it’s like a religion. I mean, they tell you what to believe, like two plus two equals four. And you can choose to believe it, or not choose to believe it. I have chosen not to believe it. So, I should be excused from math. I think I’m going to talk to the registrar. I mean, why should I have to believe this? Look, it’s like teaching any religion in school. I mean, you don’t have to believe that, you know, Adam and Eve existed. And then, look, if you don’t believe in Christianity, you’re exempted from church, right? So, why on earth aren’t we exempted from math? I just don’t get this. And nobody else seems to agree. That’s the problem, no one else understands this. After a bit c uilling to accept th formd it useful. 81 particular. she que vectors and scalert concepts. 1mm lilt take two 0 Fine. But who told I what I‘m 1 someone i are runnj; zero. and mean, wh them a pr rational n Rahnuma frl-ISIIElICdly, by C Wearing 0f cloth critically is impr University Stude‘ You see Started r Who sta] uItderstz need ck are Uncc of their COVer it See, tha Imean 3 131 After a bit of venting her views on math, she explained that she was actually willing to accept the basic and simple belief that two plus two equals four because she found it useful. But she was not willing, or able, to accept more complex math. In particular, she questioned the usefulness of knowing complex mathematical concepts, like vectors and scalers. She did not see or understand any practical application for such concepts. I mean, like fine, I can still deal with two plus two equals four. I mean, take two oranges and two other oranges and it comes to four oranges. Fine. But, I mean, why do we have to do vectors and sealers? I mean, who told us to twist simple numbers into such complex forms? That is what I’m questioning. Why do we have to do this? You know...I mean, someone has decided that we need vectors and scalers, and numbers that are running around versus numbers that sit still, and numbers that include zero, and numbers that include negative 1. I mean, God, who cares? I mean, what am I going to do, I’m going to go to the grocery store and ask them a price, and then I ’m going to say, “Well, now do you think that is a rational number?” That is so stupid. What are numbers anyway? Oof.... Rahnuma continued to question the very existence of mathematics, albeit very frustratedly, by discussing people’s decision to believe in things, such as religion or the wearing of clothing. Her ability to play with ideas and language so reflectively and critically is impressive and definitely exceptional, for both Bangladeshi and American university students. You see, originally, someone started believing these things. Someone started religion. And it’s basically all the people who have been converted who start believing. Same thing, why do you believe we need clothes? I understand what clothes do. Why do we need clothes? Animals don’t need clothes. They have what we have basically. And you can’t say they are unconscious or unaware of their genitalia. They are very much aware of their genitalia. But they don’t have the overwhelming need to go and cover it. Who the hell told us this anyway? Why do we believe this? You see, that’s how it started. And similarly, that’s why we’ve accepted math. I mean, who started math anyway? I mean, some sad old man, just because he know, that' this. and th Rahnuma": complex. especial keeping her mout keeps her opinion then in some of questions and to desired, Banglad 0f the time, and 5 For Ram hoarding eitl relationship wit] Write anything t She says What 5] relationships in Rahnun different from 1 °l>iIlion_” Rah hear by careful detennine Wha 132 because he had no life, just sat down and started counting things. You know, that’s where it came from. He decided that radius should be this, this, and this. Summary and Reflections Rahnuma’s decisions to speak up (to have a voice) or to remain silent are complex, especially given the cultural messages she has received all her life about keeping her mouth shut (which I discuss in the following chapter). While Rahnuma often keeps her opinions to herself because she thinks it is inappropriate or problematic to share them, in some of her classes she is confident, assertive, opinionated, and willing to ask questions and to challenge things. Rahnuma is aware that she is not your typical, or desired, Bangladeshi woman or student, at least not in some ways, and at least not some of the time, and ideally, she prefers to be this non-traditional vocal student. For Rahnuma to have a voice in her classes, she must feel that she is not jeopardizing either her relationship with her teachers (i.e., being the good student) or her relationship with her parents (i.e., being the good daughter). Rahnuma will not say or write anything that she does not think meets others’ expectations and standards. Instead, she says what she thinks they want to hear, and thus, she preserves and maintains relationships important to her. Rahnuma was concerned about teachers lowering her grade if she gives an opinion different from theirs. She “always writes the teacher’s opinion if they want a certain Opinion.” Rahnuma explained that she figured out what opinions her teachers wanted to hear by carefully watching and listening to her teachers. She was confident that she could determine what her teachers believed, or at least wanted to hear, by “watching the way the teacher expresses ii Rahnuma went on is. people who are tend to stereotype person is a softy, 1 linear about wh: And then she kno opinion. Rahnuma she b€1ieves her they cannot at 1: answer is all tha likes you or you M is an impor get the sum rig} VOW teachers tr different 0pm approach to gr. °Pini0n as the clasg, you kno lOVe yOu.” 133 teacher expresses himself. His change in voice, and stuff like that. Basically intuition.” Rahnuma went on to say that she stereotypes her teachers as “softies” and “bastards;” that is, people who are willing to hear a different opinion, and people who are not. “I think I tend to stereotype people. I put them in pigeon holes. It’s like, I just figure like if this person is a softy, or a, you know, complete bastard, basically. And that just dictates a lot, I mean, about what his views might be. I can expect what his points of view will be.” And then she knows whether or not there will be negative consequences if she shares her opinion. Rahnuma made an important distinction between her environment classes, where she believes her opinions can affect her grades, and her math classes, where she believes they cannot, at least not as much. In math, according to Ralmuma, getting the right answer is all that determines your grade. It does not matter whether or not your teacher likes you or your opinions. In environment, however, whether or not your teacher likes you is an important factor in what grades you get. “Because, you know, in math, if you get the sum right, it doesn’t matter if he hates you. In other classes, like environment, your teachers tend to be more strict while they go through your paper if you have a different opinion because they think you’re being difficult.” This subjective and personal approach to grading, however, can also work in the students favor. If you have the same opinion as the teacher, this can actually improve your grade. “If you’re a goody-goody in class, you know, saying what the teacher wants, being like, ‘Yes Sir!’ Oh, the teachers love you.” Rahnuma ft with someone like made her feel more how something. strong because sh: She did not feel in not knom'ng somt you‘re “Tong. Li relate to someboc‘ look stupid." Ra' iIllimidates you a In math, l in front of his it like he’s a child. Sarker, Rahnum calight dead W Ihing,” all Rahn 0“ the Other ha: them. Rahnun and educated it She e)‘lllillned I34 Rahnuma found that she felt more comfortable, and more able to have a voice, with someone like Dr. Markus who was willing to say that he did not know everything. It made her feel more related to him, and thus she was more comfortable when she did not know something. She was also more comfortable about making mistakes and being wrong because she saw Dr. Markus as a resource and guide as opposed to her evaluator. She did not feel inferior to Dr. Markus because he was not going to make fun of her for not knowing something. As Rahnuma said, “I mean, he’s not going to go, Ha, ha, ha, you’re wrong. Like some teachers tend to intimidate you. It’s more, I mean, it’s easier to relate to somebody who is more human.” Otherwise, Rahnuma is “afraid that [she] will look stupid.” Rahnuma said that luckily Dr. Markus wasn’t one of those teachers who intimidates you and makes you look stupid. “He’s just not like that.” In math, however, Rahnuma said that “her teacher would rather die than be wrong in fi'ont of his inferior students.” Ralmuma thought that this attitude was “so stupid; It’s like he’s a child.” Although there were certainly exceptions, like Dr. Markus and Dr. Sarker, Rahnuma said that this behavior was “a man thing. They just can’t handle being caught dead wrong. ” When I tried to understand why she thought this was a “man thing,” all Rahnuma explained was that, “Men tend to do those sort of things.” Women, on the other hand, are always assumed to be wrong or at fault, so this is not an issue for them. Rahnuma believed that many of her teachers, especially teachers who were raised and educated in Bangladesh, including her math teacher, saw their students as inferior. She explained that by inferior she meant, “younger, more naive, less informed, you know. Inferior in that sen their teaching of ig dorm at you Like get that And the) big favor by teach ”ten patronizing herd of the Schor most of her male in contra: adults. Rahnuma students as “havi thought of as an Being thought 0 way Bangladesh Chapter Ways 0f knOWin Rahflllma form; has received, a] elders Who are her anempt to I Seena Rflhnurm would like to ( 135 Inferior in that sense.” She said that some of her teachers are condescending, and see their teaching of ignorant students as a favor to them. “You know, some teachers talk down at you. Like, they say, Oh, well, I knew, it doesn’t surprise me at all that you didn’t get that. And they sort of hold it against you. They act like they’re doing you some great big favor by teaching you.” Rahnuma gets quite upset about this because she said it is “very patronizing.” Again, she made a point of saying that Dr. Markus and Dr. Sarker (the head of the School of Environment) were exceptions to this rule; however, she said that most of her male teachers were like this. In contrast, Rahnuma said that Dr. Markus and Dr. Sarker view their students as adults. Rahnuma said this attitude is “really nice” because it means they View their students as “having the capability of understanding.” And Rahnuma really likes being thought of as an intelligent person with her own ideas and the ability to think for herself. Being thought of as an intelligent and independent thinker, however, is contrary to the way Bangladeshi culture views women, educated or not. Chapter Five explores the possibility that the social construction of Rahnuma’s ways of knowing are embedded in the larger cultural context in which Rahnuma lives. Rahnuma forms relationships with her teachers based largely on the cultural messages she has received, and to some degree has adopted. For example, she treats her teachers as elders who are to be respected and revered, rarely questioning or disagreeing with them in her attempt to meet their expectations and to be a good student. Privately, as we have seen, Rahnuma certamly does not always respect or revere her teachers; and ideally, she would like to disagree with and question them. Sometimes meeting her teachers’ expectations mean encouraged and re Will Rahnuma voi parents. And thin and doing. are ine classroom. 136 expectations means silencing her self and her ideas. Sometimes, however, she is encouraged and rewarded for thoughtfully voicing her opinions. At no time, however, will Rahnuma voice her opinions if she thinks it will jeopardize her relationship with her parents. And thus, Rahnuma’s struggles with voice and silence, self and other, knowing and doing, are inextricably intertwined with her ways of knowing both in and out of the classroom. Being in I experience things college students‘ and women’s wa afld Struggles in understanding h. chapter highligh anate, choice a Ralmllma’s fam Child from her 1 ConsciousqaiS-n “POD her femur Situation I Rahnm and raised alm Chapter 5 THE GOOD DAUGHTER: STRUGGLING WITH VOICE AND SILENCE TO MEET CULTURAL EXPECTATIONS Being in the unfamiliar culture of Bangladesh allowed me to see, hear, and experience things which I had previously ignored during my study of American women college students’ ways of knowing: namely the power and influence of culture on girls’ and women’s ways of knowing. The following chapter is organized around pivotal points and struggles in Rahnuma’s life, largely identified by her, which I believe are central to understanding her ways of knowing, both in and out of the classroom. In particular, this chapter highlights Rahnuma’s struggles with voice and silence, self and other, public and private, choice and expectation, across her lifespan. I begin with a description of Rahnuma’s family and the messages (as related to ways of knowing) she received as a child from her family, religion, and teachers; continue with a discussion of Rahnuma’s conscious-raising experiences at a boarding school in India, and the conflicts which ensue upon her return to her family two years later; and finally explore Rahnuma’s present situation. Unconsciously Meeting Expectations: Silent and Voiceless Rahnuma, now a twenty year-old Bangladeshi woman attending GU, was born and raised almost exclusively in Dhaka. Her father is a businessman, and her mother is 137 anelementary schc ibling. a brother r close to anyone in very concerned ab Until the a Bengalimediurn ‘ students. parents schools because ‘ addition and per Western...too se) and the other we being irreverant elders), in contr impoliance of ti English and the rules of gmmm1 English. Rahnun English mediui wild blIt not to L°nd°I1aWhi1e 138 an elementary school teacher at a well-respected English-medium school. She has one sibling, a brother named Kazi, who is five years older than she. While she said she is not close to anyone in her family, and actually has difficulty getting along with them, she is very concerned about being a “good daughter.” Until the age of fifteen, being a good daughter included being educated at Bengali-medium schools. According to Rahnuma, and echoed by the other women students, parents believe that it is important for girls to be educated at Bengali medium schools because “as a girl, she needed to learn about Bengali language and culture.” In addition, and perhaps more importantly, girls need to be protected from “becoming too Western...too sexual and wild” at the English medium schools. According to Rahnuma and the other women, being wild includes such things as drinking, taking drugs, and being irreverant and disrespectful (e.g., being assertive, outspoken, and questioning elders). In contrast, Rahnuma explained that the Bengali medium schools emphasize the importance of the traditional Bengali language and culture. They teach very little English, and the English they do teach is rather formal, focusing on written English and rules of grammar. There was almost no attention to either spoken or conversational English. Rahnuma explained that her brother Kazi was allowed to be educated at the English medium schools “because he is a boy, and it’s more permissive for boys to be wild but not for girls.” For the same reason, Kazi was allowed to attend university in London, while Rahnuma was not. While Rahnuma was not allowed to study at the English medium schools or to attend university in London, she did benefit from her brother’s educatio fluently. Attraete read and quickly by her Bengali me she “as educated neglect Bengali 1: In retrosp received as a chil Voiceless. More malnation proce this message of l Evertone expect she gets this me: [hat God wants E Everyon teachers nature f1 hands, v therefort laS inter Fm app: Standards and e brother were ju perhas did no. described hers ( 139 brother’s education by secretly using his books to learn to read and speak English fluently. Attracted by the pictures in the English books, she read whatever her brother read, and quickly learned to read and speak English fluently. Although she was frustrated by her Bengali medium schools’ poor English training, she explained that she was glad she was educated at Bengali medium schools because the English medium schools “really neglect Bengali language and culture.” In retrospect, Rahnuma is able to be reflective about the cultural messages she received as a child. Growing up, according to Rahnuma, meant being silent and voiceless. More specifically, she explained that “shutting your mouth...it’s all part of this maturation process. You have to be grown up about things.” Rahnuma explained that this message of keeping her mouth shut has been ingrained in her throughout her life. Everyone expects her to be silent, to be obedient. In particular, Rahnuma believes that she gets this message from her religion, from her parents, and from her teachers. She said that God wants her to live this way, and thus others expect her to live this way as well. Everyone expects me to shut my mouth: my religion, my parents, my teachers. I mean, it’s an ingrained thing. I mean, that’s where we get our nature from, from our religion. I mean, we know, like the back of our hands, we know that this is how God wants us to behave, and then, therefore, it must be right. And so we base our behavior on that standard [as interpreted from the Koran], and we try to achieve those standards... For approximately the first fifteen years of Rahnuma’s life, these were the only standards and expectations she knew. Not having as much freedom or as much say as her brother were just givens. She did not question these things because she just accepted, or perhaps did not even see, the differences. Not knowing any other way of life, she described herself as content with her existence. She was happy to let her parents make all her decisions for h things for herself. bliss. albeit a siler Up until c‘; what‘s be: have anytl anything. Rahnuma teachers that Ben to keep their me should be in pur When the wome robes and head 1 The custom of 1 be silent they a Rahnuma explz men,” and [hug lllemselven 1 mean SUppog thing. l0 Stay While Rahnui 140 her decisions for her, largely because she did not know she was capable of deciding things for herself. For Rahnuma, this state of ignorance allowed her to exist in a state of bliss, albeit a silent and obedient one. Up until class eleven, I just trusted my parents. I was like, you know what’s best for me. So, I wouldn’t say anything. I mean, I didn’t really have anything to say. Up until then, I didn’t have a problem with anything. Rahnuma explained that she learned from her religion, her parents, and her teachers that Bengali Muslim girls, and especially women, are’supposed to be timid and to keep their mouths shut. Ideally, women are supposed to be neither seen nor heard; they should be in purdah, which is the practice of secluding women from the men in society. When the women cannot be secluded they should be dressed in their burkahs, the black robes and head pieces that many Muslim women are required to wear by their husbands. The custom of purdah and wearing burkahs suggests that not only are women supposed to be silent, they are also supposed to be invisible (or as close to invisible as possible); Rahnuma explained that according to Islam, women are “created physically weaker than men,” and thus women cannot, and certainly should not, think for or take care of themselves. I mean, as a woman, I’m expected to keep my mouth shut. Women are supposed to be timid in our culture. It’s a Muslim thing, and a Bengali thing. Bengali women, in general, are under burkah, and we’re supposed to stay at home, and stuff like that. While Rahnuma is not required to be in purdah or to wear a burkah, she still hears the messages which are associated with these practices. As a child growing up in this culture of silence she uric mouth shut” and l Manifestations in These cul well. According 'mcause they knt apposed to not are predominant and thus studen‘ In eleme listening to the encouraged or i [hit there were It was 5 lecture Thinka gTeenl know 1 At this hummus and IQ belleVe’ an, ask. 141 of silence she unconsciously and unquestioningly knew she was supposed to “keep [her] mouth shut” and be silent; thus being a good daughter. Manifestations in Elementiry and Secondgy School These cultural messages and norms played themselves out in the classroom as well. According to Rahnuma, Islam preaches that she must respect and revere her elders because they know more than she, and even what is best for her. Thus, students are supposed to not only respect their teachers, but also revere and obey them. Teachers, who are predominantly men, are supposed to be seen as higher beings, superior to students, and thus students should never question or challenge them. In elementary and high school, Rahnuma explained that her education consisted of listening to the teacher lecture and memorizing whatever he said. Students were not encouraged or taught how to think for themselves, especially girl students. She explained that there were no opportunities for her to develop her own ideas or opinions. It was all very much about memorizing the information. They would lecture to us, and we would give them the information on the exams... Thinking for yourself was definitely not encouraged. No, no. We had a green board, and chalk, and the teachers told us what they wanted us to know for the exams. And that was it. At this age, however, Rahnuma said that she “didn’t really care” about asking questions and thinking for herself. She was willing to just believe what they wanted her to believe, and to allow others to make decisions for her. At that point, because she was not aware of her ability to ask questions, she did not have any questions she wanted to ask. Rahnuma e the teacher as supt that lslarn teaches Well. you even wher because tl classroom were taug much you obedient little bit tr fearing ar concept c as higher Accordir education. She r enough to be ed THUS, education heard. You see 10 the h. Was not Ihis tab‘ not sup how thi told. Throug as fitting this I explained that she did not thj 142 Rahnuma explains that this hierarchical teacher/student relationship, this View of the teacher as superior, stems, at least somewhat, from her religion of Islam. She believes that Islam teaches people to fear and respect things that are higher than them. Well, you see, for certain classes, you can’t say anything to your teachers, even when they are digressing. You just have to sit there and take it because they’re your superiors. There’s a definite hierarchy in the classroom, especially if you’re from Bengali medium schools, because we were taught that teachers were right next to your parents, and that is how much you should respect them, and not challenge them, and you know, be obedient, and all that. So, all of this really rubs off. And I think it has a little bit to do with our religion. Because we have this thing about, um, fearing and respecting something that is higher than us, which is the concept of God. So, I think this is inborn in us that we identify something as higher than us, and then we, there is this aspect of reverence to it. According to Rahnuma, there is a history of women being deprived of a liberating education. She explained that the goal of education for women who have been fortunate enough to be educated has been rote memorization, as opposed to critical thinking skills. Thus, education reinforces and supports the expectation that women be neither seen nor heard. You see, in the old days, women had private tutors, like who would come to the home and teach them. And traditionally, our [women’s] education was not analytical, it was, you know, “So, give me the first ten points of this table.” It was like that. It was rote memorization basically. So, we’re not supposed to think. We’re not supposed to ask questions. That’s not how things are done, you know. We’re just supposed to do what we’re told. Throughout her elementary and secondary education Rahnuma described herself as fitting this traditional model of a female student. More specifically, Rahnuma explained that she was not the kind of student who asked questions and discussed ideas; she did not think for herself and just did what she was told. She explained that she “was not into school at 2 my grades and tha At the age boarding school i place for Rahnun of India unlike I Rahntmra prove world upside do W While R anare of the int Pressures of bei largely Hindu, t Wing; Cons: that she could t Classmates, am 10 believe that especially life diSCOVered the accordingly. 1 143 not into school at all. I mean, I was just barely there. I wasn’t into studies. I just passed my grades and that was it.” Becoming Aware: Discovering Her Self and Voice At the age of fifteen, Rahnuma’s parents sent her to an elite, predominantly Hindu boarding school in India for two years. Her parents believed that this would be a safe place for Rahnuma to be educated since India was so near to Bangladesh and the people of India, unlike Westerners, were “moral people.” These two years, according to Rahnuma, proved to be the most critical two years of her life for they virtually turned her world upside down. Awareness of Self While Rahnuma described her experience there as hostile and unpleasant, she is aware of the impact these two years away from home, away from the expectations and pressures of being a good daughter, had on her. Being on her own and in a non—Muslim, largely Hindu, culture introduced Rahnuma to new and different ways of being and knowing; consequently, her life was changed irrevocably. Most importantly, she learned that she could think and make decisions for herself. And her interactions with her classmates, and even some of her teachers, forced her to stand up for herself. She came to believe that others, namely her parents, did not always know what was best for her, eSpecially life decisions like marriage and career/higher education. Instead, she discovered that she herself knew what was best for her, and she wanted to live her life accordingly. She would never be able to happily, or at least ignorantly and blindly, accept her fate as a timid, silent, and obedient Bangladeshi Muslim girl again. Well. until didn’thave studies. lj things. Bu school. the ohmygoti. butt Up u wouldn‘tl lmow,lw; then grad really cha you had It Awareness of Otl Accordin India namely Hi another way. a c allowed or perh and different wc school. Becans Compare differe It was It Outside of the t to fend for her: where Students thinklllg for 61 “D, to Stand “I mm Others to everything Sht 144 Well, until grade eleven, I was at Holy Cross, a Bengali medium school. I didn’t have an opinion about anything here. I wasn’t interested in my studies. I just didn’t think about anything. I was too busy doing other things. But for grades eleven and twelve, I was in India, in boarding school, the Supreme Queen. It was a very swish, very snobbish, very ohmygod, kind of place. You had to have an opinion here to save your butt. Up until then, I think I was really timid. Up until class eleven, I wouldn’t have a problem with the things I have a problem with now. You know, I was like, okay, okay, you just find me a husband, I trust you. But then, grades eleven and twelve, I got more exposure. Boarding school really changes a person, it really does. It was a very hostile place. I mean, you had to look after yourself. Awareness of Other Religions According to Rahnuma, it was being introduced to a new and different religion in India, namely Hinduism, which helped enable her to question things. She had seen another way, a contrasting way, of looking at the world, another way of being, and this allowed, or perhaps even forced, her to compare the world she grew up in with this new and different world. “I think most of my questions came after I came back from boarding school. Because I lived with another religion [Hinduism] basically, which made me 1 compare different things. I learned that Islam wasn’t the only way....” It was not in the classroom, however, where Rahnuma learned to speak up. It was outside of the classroom, in her interactions with the other students, where she was forced to fend for herself. Rahnuma described the boarding school as “a very hostile place” where students tried to get each other kicked out of school. This forced Rahnuma to start thinking for and taking care of herself. She believed she had to have an opinion, to speak up, to stand up for herself, or she would not survive there. She was no longer willing to trust others to make decisions about her life. These new beliefs were the antithesis of everything she had believed up until then. She no longer believed that everyone else knew what was b6 was best for her, 2 The classr and peoplt have to ha you had It going to n Anareness of Ge As Rahnu was female she it wanted to go to a so. According tc the “sexist” SOCit These thj let the git mean it’s abroad ir daughter: house so The issue Was Particularly ll be bought an about. ThlIlltin; SChoo] I and that mean 1 ‘ Stuff llkl Wlll hav 145 knew what was best for her. After living on her own, she believed that she knew what was best for her, and she was Willing to say so. The classroom wasn’t the problem. There were a lot of politics going on, and people were backstabbers completely. You had to be very, very, you have to have a hard skin. And you had to know when to retaliate. And you had to know when to put your foot down and say like you are not going to mess with me anymore. I just started talking back. Awareness of Gender As Rahnuma approached marriageable age, she began to believe that because she was female she was treated not only differently, but also unfairly. In particular, she wanted to go to a university in London, but unlike her brother, she was not allowed to do so. According to Rahnuma, the different treatment she received was a manifestation of the “sexist” society in which she lived. These things are very sexist things. I mean, it’s in our society. They don’t let the girls do these things, certain things, you know. It’s not just me. I mean it’s all the girls here. You’ll see a lot of girls whose brothers are abroad in school, and they’re here in Dhaka. Parents just like to keep their daughters with them because pretty soon they’ll be married and out of the house soon, anyway... The issue of marriage, and more specifically the practice of arranged marriages, was particularly problematic and disturbing to Rahnuma. It made her feel like an object to be bought and sold, and it terrified her. These limits on her freedom were more than she believed she could handle, and more specifically, more than she could keep quiet about. Thinking like this, it’s all pretty new...l mean, they didn’t let me go to the school I wanted to go to because I’m a girl. And I was like kept in Dhaka, and that didn’t go very well with me....Before this whole marriage thing, I mean I was like, all right, okay fine, I don’t have as much freedom and stuff like that. But this marriage thing really hurt me when I realized that I will have to like get married to somebody and have their children. That really bothl marriage tl Everybody don‘t knox him. And Things WI Bangladesh. Ral world She was longer thought t‘ choose her hush wm no longer v there were othe how she wante. own ideas abOI Being t What’s things know. Say, it} Her at ”line’s, and Wants 10 liVe live her life_ 146 really bothered me. Because the other bits I could handle....But this marriage thing, it’s awful. It’s like being cattle in a market. It’s terrible. Everybody is terrified of this [arranged marriage]. It’s sort of like, you don’t know a person, and then you have to spend the rest of your life with him. And if something goes wrong, it’s always the girl’s fault. Conflict with Others: The Struggle Begins Things were not the same for Rahnuma upon her return to her life at home in Bangladesh. Rahnuma was not the same. She was no longer limited to one vision of the world. She was no longer content with having others make decisions for her. She no longer thought that her life was just fine. She no longer wanted to just let her parents choose her husband, arrange her marriage. She no longer wanted to remain silent. She was no longer willing to just accept what others decided for her. She was aware that there were other ways to do things, other ways to live life. She had her own ideas about how she wanted to live her life, and about with whom she wanted to live it. She had her own ideas about whom she wanted to be. Being on my own, I learned to take care of myself. I mean, I think I know what’s best for me. Even though, now, I know that I did some really dumb things in school, some really stupid things. But these things happen, you know. So, I started to think that I knew what was best for me. I started to say, “Hey, I know what’s best for me, you know, so listen to me.” Her awareness of other ways of being and knowing was in conflict with her culture’s, and specifically her parent’s and her religion’s, expectations of her. How she wants to live her life is now different than how her parents and her religion expect her to live her life. Manifestations wit As a result difiicult thing” to Rahnuma versus 1 wanted her to be and her society w always act the w. Together manageable ag: ttalizes that she man), she strug her desire to tal when she will have chosen, bi “PM her to n the comnmnitj ‘lreated badly’ Well, l won’t husbai you i bitch, Rahm nor had She a 147 W As a result of her newfound independence, Rahnuma said that “it was a very difficult thing” to get along with her parents because “there were control issues.” It was Rahnuma versus her parents. They did not want her to have any opinions; they just wanted her to be silent, to keep her mouth shut. While Rahnuma knows that her parents and her society want and expect her to keep her mouth shut, to be silent, she does not always act the way that Bangladeshi daughters or students are supposed to act. Together, returning from her boarding school experience/awakening and being of marriageable age have created conflict and struggle for Rahnuma. While Rahnuma realizes that she does not have much, if any, say in the decision about whom she would marry, she struggles with her newfound belief that she knows what was best for her and her desire to take care of herself. She explained that she can voice her opinion about whom she will marry, i.e., she can say “no” to a prospective husband whom her parents have chosen, but there will definitely be negative consequences. Her parents definitely expect her to marry someone whom they choose and arrange for her, and they, as well as the community, will not be pleased if she defies their wishes. Subsequently, she will be “treated badly” and may even be “disowned” from her family. Well, I can like say “no” [to my parents’ choices for my husband], but they won’t think that’s very nice of me...I mean, some people choose their own husband, but there’s a lot of bitterness, and you’re sort of estranged from your family. And like, your parents’ friends are going to think, oh, what a bitch, what an ungrateful person. Society thinks like that. Rahnuma explained that she had not always recognized her society as a sexist one, nor had she always been at odds with her parents’ beliefs and expectations. As a young girl she just €XP°C mutations with h on her own, witho separating herself just laughed and 1 Manifestations w Question question. Rahnt especially regarr receives from he I want t( things ir advance or they’ They w< She is \ Without questic Cannot follow ‘ l quest Womer Sllppog anothe Very, \ don’t 1 And I Other 1 misint his Ve haVe r n01141 Where 148 girl, she just expected and trusted that her parents would choose her husband. Despite her fi'ustrations with her parents, Rahnuma explained that she would never choose to go off on her own, without her parents’ permission or approval. She found the idea of separating herself from her family totally unfathomable. It just was not a possibility. She just laughed and said, “That’s out of the question.” Manifestations with Religion Questioning her religion is another thing which, at least publicly, is out of the question. Rahnuma told me that privately she questions her religion all the time, especially regarding women’s issues. Rahnuma struggles a bit with the messages she receives from her religion, especially the message to not question is what is being heard. I want to be able to question things. But if you say you want to question things in Islam, they’ll be like, Oh, yes, we’re big ones for scientific advancement, blah, blah, blah. They’ll like completely change the topic, or they’ll twist it around, and never answer what you really want to know. They won’t let you question Islam, basically. She is very frustrated by the way her religion wants her to just believe things without questioning them, especially given that her religion is very contradictory. She cannot follow her religion blindly, however, when it comes to being intolerant of others. I question Islam all the time. I mean, by myself. Especially things like women’s equality, and the purdah system, and the fact that we are supposed to believe a lot of things just because someone said so. And another thing is, I mean, our religion said that, you know, I mean, it’s not a very, we don’t have a very good view of people of other religions, whichI don’t agree to. Like Jewish people. We’re not supposed to like them. And I can’t understand this. I mean, Islam is not very tolerant of people of other religions. But, at the same time, you see, this happens due to misinterpretation. It’s like we have contradicting quotes from everywhere. It’s very contradictory. I mean, sometimes it will say that, yes, you should have religious wars because you should convert other people. So that says non—tolerance. At the same time, it says that Islam has a social system where all other religions can live in peace and harmony. Now if you’re .. -...) going to In possible. Because F more inclined to . questioning conti allowed to quest Islam cannot be tiews and rules to a certain poin women because You see questior that l w SO. I mt questio someth questio They h % Rahnu is 1101 always t Many Of her I Want her to 51 than men bee them. Rani And 1 my tr ISaYIl 149 going to have a bloody war raging against them, I don’t see how that is possible. Because Rahnuma finds her religion contradictory she believes she is naturally more inclined to question things. As our conversation about her religion and her questioning continued, she became increasingly angry. She believed she should be allowed to question whatever she wants. According to Rahnuma, if the foundation of Islam cannot be questioned, she strongly believes that they have no right to impose their views and rules on her. She explained that Islam encourages some questioning, but only to a certain point and about certain things. Rahnuma said this is especially true for women because they want to keep women quiet. You see, Islam has these really dumb sayings, things like, yes, you should question God, blah, blah, blah...And he shall answer. But the problem is that I want to question the answers some more, and that is not tolerated. So, I mean, the thing is, if I can question God, then obviously I can question my elders. And I don’t see what the problem is in questioning something. Are their basics so bloody weak that they cannot tolerate my questioning?! If that is so, then they have no right to be superior to me. They have no right to tell me what to think or how to live my life. Manifestations at School Rahnuma often thinks for herself and asks questions in the classroom as well. She is not always the shy and timid female Bangladeshi student, as is evident in Chapter Four. Many of her male friends, as well as some women, are uncomfortable around her, and want her to stop talking. Rahnuma explained, however, that women have to work harder than men because women need to prove themselves in a society that does not respect them. Rahnuma is certainly one of these women who is working harder. And since I do think and ask questions sometimes, I think I make a lot of my male friends uncomfortable. And a bunch of really cool people are [saying] like why does she talk so much [in class about the material]. I suppose it’ And cool I more hard our class. that they‘r to do. An end of this harder. This new life. llhile in so problematic. Th about voice and her family, her I Rahnurr knowing and be knows what sh. For Rahnuma, 1 know never l I can h 10 be g mature As I do by her religio the Way God h“ M belie 150 suppose it’s all right, because they’re the cool people, and I’m the nerd. And cool people don’t think like nerds. The thing is, women tend to be more hard working because they have something to prove. I mean, look at our class. The guys, they’re all in the back, and they’re all asleep. It’s not that they’re malicious or anything. It’s how they are. It’s just a guy thing to do. And I think, when you look at all the As that people will get at the end of this class, most of them will be women, because we tend to work harder. This new awareness and inclination to question things complicated Rahnuma’s life. While in some ways exciting and liberating, it proved more often than not to be problematic. The conflicting messages about ways of knowing and being, specifically about voice and silence, leave Rahnuma struggling with how to meet the expectations of her family, her religion, and her teachers, while still being true to herself. Being Grown Up: Privately Knowing, Public Silent Rahnuma’s awareness of the possibilities, her awareness of other ways of knowing and being, is causing her unhappiness and her personal struggles. Rahnuma knows what she “could” have had; she even believes it is what she “should” have had. But as a grown up, she believes that she is expected to be silent, to keep her mouth shut. For Rahnuma, keeping her mouth shut is just part of what it means to grow up. I know what I could have had. What I should have had, actually. I can never have had it, but I should have had it. So, I’ve come to terms with all I can have in my life. It’s all a part of this maturation process. You have to be grown up about things...lt’s a pity. I mean, a lot of the time, being mature basically means shutting your mouth. It’s expected of me.... As I discussed earlier, Rahnuma explained that being silent was expected of her by her religion, her parents, and her teachers. She further explained that being silent is the way God wants her to be, and thus she tries to be that way, even when it is contrary to her OWn beliefs and desires about who she is and who she would like to be. She feels she he no choice but ‘ resigned herself t( It doesn‘t [the religi just don‘t Rahnuma as she wishes. E her life as she ch possibility to liv different life. A Resigned to Me Rahnun and meet her fa Eleat. She exp 01A of her how Well, i mm to keep d0 Wh: In gen (1068 not Shall She Says to he along With he they expect 1‘ exPeCtations 151 has no choice but to meet the expectations of her family and her religion, and thus she has resigned herself to being silent. It doesn’t feel good to keep my mouth shut. But I still have to live up to [the religious expectations that women be silent]. I don’t have a choice. I just don’t have a choice. Rahnuma spoke sadly, and sometimes angrily, about her inability to live her life as she wishes. But it was clear that while she still believes that she should be free to live her life as she chooses, she has accepted that she cannot. While it is in the realm of possibility to live differently, it is not within the realm of her possibilities to have a different life. As she repeated over and over again, she just doesn’t have a choice. Resigned to Meet Familial Expectations Rahnuma explained that she does not have any choice but to keep her mouth shut and meet her family’s expectations because the consequences of speaking up are too great. She explained that if she does not do what her parents want she will not be allowed out of her house at all. Well, if I weren’t obedient, if I didn’t do what they wanted, I would be grounded for the rest of my life. I mean, Ijust don’t have a choice. I have to keep my mouth shut. I can’t tell them what I really think. I can’t just do what I want. I don’t have a choice. I just don’t have a choice. In general, Rahnuma does what is expected of her and keeps her mouth shut. She does not share her opinions with her parents or her brother, and is selective about what she says to her friends and teachers. Rahnuma explained that the reason she doesn’t get along with her parents is because of tension between the way she wants to be and the way they expect her to be. Rahnuma has resigned herself to living up to her parents’ expectations because the consequences of not meeting their expectations are just too great In particult family, treating it there‘s abit of a ‘ butl don’t want Not only herself. she is pl refrigerator so tl want to know w times. Rahnm allowed to sper restricted life. given up hopir What she has. happy about. are Very home know, it’s Okz alewd to do has given up and resigned In Other we“ Havi 152 great. In particular, she is afraid that her parents will reject her as a member of the family, treating her as if she were dead. “I’m afraid my parents will disown me. As it is, there’s a bit of a problem at home because I don’t get along very well with my parents, but I don’t want to be totally alienated.” Not only is Rahnuma silenced in that she must keep her ideas and feelings to herself, she is physically restricted as well. Her schedule is posted on the family refrigerator so that everyone knows where she is, or at least should be, at all times. They want to know where she is going, what she is doing, and with whom she is with at all times. Rahnuma is restricted to either being at school or at home. She is not even allowed to spend time at a friend’s house. But Rahnuma has resigned herself to this restricted life. She is certain that she can’t have anything more, and consequently has given up hoping. She even goes so far as to express contentment or satisfaction with what she has. It is a specific example of her choosing to be happy with what she is not happy about. As Rahnuma explained, “Because I don’t have much freedom, my hobbies are very home oriented. It’s like, I read, listen to music, and I watch a lot of TV. So, you know, it’s okay now. I don’t miss hanging out with my friends now [which she was allowed to do at boarding school because she lived with them].” Once again, Rahnuma has given up her personal desires, namely spending time outside the home with friends, and resigned herself to the living her life the way her parents expect and allow her to live. In other words, she has resigned herself to being the good daughter. Having some say. While Rahnuma tries to be the good, obedient daughter, she does have her limits. While she only goes where her parents allow her to go (school and home). and will c be allowed to hat repercussions for will be arranged does not have th husband if she f Rahnurr “pisses her pare toward Rahnun to whomever tl about the mato adult by allow however, they about whom s huShand. Cor hilt behaving that She be al in thi EXpectations Potential hm whom her p: 153 home), and will only marry someone whom her parents choose for her, she insists that she be allowed to have some say in the matter. Having any say, however, has had serious repercussions for Rahnuma. Rahnuma has resigned herself to the fact that her marriage will be arranged by her parents. She said that she will not fight them on that; she said she does not have the strength. But she will say no to any of her parents’ choices for her husband if she feels she could not spend the rest of her life with that person. Rahnuma’s insistence that she have some say about who she marries, however, “pisses her parents of’ and has resulted in her parents being “cruel” and “abusive” toward Rahnuma. According to Rahnuma, her parents just want and expect her to agree to whomever they choose; they certainly do not think that there should be any discussion about the matter. On the one hand, her parents seem to be trying to treat Rahnuma as an adult by allowing her to have some say in whom she will marry. On the other hand, however, they do not want, nor do they think it is right, for Rahnuma to have an opinion about whom she marries. In essence, they want Rahnuma to just accept their choice for a husband. Consequently, Rahnuma is receiving mixed messages and being punished for not behaving as her parents would ideally like, despite their acquiescence to her demand that she be allowed to voice her opinion. In this one area of her life, Rahnuma has chosen to defy her parents’ wishes and expectations on this matter by “demanding” that she at least be allowed to speak with all potential husbands “for ten minutes.” While she would never choose to marry someone whom her parents did not approve her, Rahnuma explained that she has enough strength to say "no” to a pr i spend the rest of l i 50, now I" married to no. you kl for ten rm all I have Some of ‘ from seeing her ‘ particular “is be the shit out of [l afraid [of all the labour my fears she has to say, Rahnur cltildren. If it . herself. She is “Common. E Yeah, teasor Would SPCrm you It intelli think lhem‘ YOu c‘ 154 to say “no” to a prospective husband, ruling out people with whom she would not want to spend the rest of her life. This is her attempt to have some control over her life. So, now I’ve like given up. I’m like, well, now if they tell me to get married to such-and-such person, at least I have that much strength to say no, you know. I’ve demanded that I want to at least speak to this person for ten minutes before I said yes. Which really pisses them off. But that’s all I have the strength to say. I mean, it’s still my life here. Some of Rahnuma’s insistence that she have a say in whom she marries stems from seeing her friends in miserable marriages. Rahnuma believes that one friend in particular “is being made to do [sexual] things she doesn’t want to do.” And that “scared the shit out of [her]” because she thinks the same thing will happen to her. She said, “I’m afraid [of all the bad things she associates with being married] , but I can’t tell my parents [about my fears].” Rahnuma says her parents are not interested in or willing to hear what she has to say, and thus, they have silenced her. Rahnuma explained that the only reason she wants to get married is to have . children. If it was up to her she would just get some frozen sperm and have children by herself. She is afraid she will be stuck with a husband she doesn’t like because divorce is uncommon. But since society doesn’t accept this approach to parenthood, Rahnuma has again resigned herself, in this case to getting married. Yeah. That is the probably the reason I want to get married. The only reason. That’s it. I wish I could have kids without getting married. I would love to do that. You know, just get myself one of those frozen sperm things, and just finish it off. I don’t care. I would like to choose, you know, I’d like somebody really smart, somebody really, really intelligent. I don’t have a problem with [having a baby this way]. I don’t think the whole world should have a problem with it. I mean, what’s it to them?...Here, you don’t divorce. You’re just stuck with that person. And you don’t divorce, I mean, for the sake of your kids. Rahnuma especially men at equality. 1n esse' resigned herself believe in a basi should be equal Resigned to Me While 5‘ Pttdominantly religion that it Being silent w; exllected of he She has resign Wen for hi I learn questi accep- Want t prObIt be ab say. I Was wilOm she SI hNObOdy...b She fell So 3‘ 155 Rahnuma explained that she believes in the concept of equality for all people, especially men and women, despite the fact that her religion says there can not be such equality. In essence, while Rahnuma believes that there should be equality, she has resigned herself to the fact that there is not, and cannot be, equality in her world. “I believe in a basic sense of equality. But I do realize that we can’t be equal. I mean, there should be equality, but it’s not there. And I can’t change that. It’s part of our religion.” Resigied to Meet Religious Expectations While she learned that Islam was not the only religion by living in a predominantly Hindu culture, Rahnuma continued to receive messages from her own religion that it was not all right to question things, that she should keep her mouth shut. Being silent was still the way she was “supposed to” live in her world, it is what was expected of her. And so she does not ask her questions, instead she keeps them to herself. She has resigned herself to not having them answered, at least not until she can find the answers for herself. I learned that Islam wasn’t the only way. But it still wasn’t okay to question things. So I had to keep the questions in my head. I have accepted that they’ll never be answered. I know that. Eventually, what I want to do is to find some of these answers for myself. But it will be a problem because you need to know Arabic to read the Koran, so I’ll only be able to read the interpretations, and listen to what other people have to say. I was struck by Rahnuma’s intense anger about her religion, and I wondered with whom she shared her thoughts and feelings about this. Resignedly, she said, “Nobody...but you.” She added that it was “definitely difficult” to be silent about things she felt so strongly. It is hard for her to have so many questions, and to not be allowed to ask them. She w anything about hI mouth shut she I Rahnum: oats that oonce is not very ofter concerned abou people nill teat clothes. Howe responded that an Opinion. An her PaICnts in ‘ and angrily tol allger about th Well, right ' that w mm 1 have go on Wear the w not u Shin, When it’s d reallj meal And 156 ask them. She wants to speak up, to change things. But she knows that she cannot do anything about her religion. She knows, or at least believes, that she must just keep her mouth shut, she must be silent. Rahnuma explained that a Muslim society wants women to be covered, to dress in ways that conceal their gender. When she does not dress in proper Bengali dress, which is not very often (I never saw her in anything but traditional Bengali clothing), she is concerned about how she will be treated. In particular, she is concerned about the way people will react to her. She says she is taken less seriously when she is in western clothes. However, when I pursued what it means to be taken seriously, Rahnuma sadly responded that men do not take her seriously because they do not view women as having an opinion. And nor do they think women should have an opinion. Rahnuma included her parents in this group of people who don’t want her to have an opinion. She quickly and angrily told me that, “No, no. I just do whatever they [my parents] say.” Despite her anger about this situation, she again resignedly said, “That’s just the way it is.” Well, the thing is, in Muslim society, women are supposed to be in purdah, right, that concealment thing. So, I think that is where all this comes from, that we should dress in a particular way and stuff....The thing is, if something happens when I’m in a car, if there’s some sort of accident, and I have to talk with the police, if I’m in jeans and a t-shirt, it’s just going to go crazy. Basically I try not to put myself in that position. I mean, why wear something in which I won’t be able to handle myself, I mean, handle the way people react to me. So, I’m like, why bother, you know. It’s just not worth the hassle anymore. If I go into a shop wearing jeans and a t- shirt, the shopkeeper gets a bit flirty. It really gets on my nerves. I hate it when they do that. But if you wear a showa kamees [the local dress], then it’s different. Then they take you more seriously....Well, I guess they don’t really take me seriously. I mean, they don’t really treat me with respect. I mean, I just don’t have an opinion, in their mind. That’s just the way it is. And they don’t like it, either, if I have an opinion. Rahnuma praying five time to do oith bones themselves, she l to accepting her not see any othe believes that sh: herself as oblig: What is expecte Coming five tin with yo the tin good. ' a lot of mm 1 student I don’t Rahnu Someone With She Said that Possibility m She lhOUght s herself or W 157 Rahnuma explained that being religious does not mean dressing a certain ways or praying five times a day. For Rahnuma, religion is about being close to God, and that has to do with honesty, integrity, and standards. So despite her conflict about the standards themselves, she has chosen to do what is expected of her. Again, she has resigned herself to accepting her fate, and meeting others’ expectations and standards, because she does not see any other options. She is not happy about the way she must live her life, but she believes that she does not have a choice to live or be any other way. She described herself as obligated to be a good, obedient daughter and a good, obedient student. It is what is expected of her. Coming near to God doesn’t have anything necessarily to do with praying five times a day. I don’t think it has anything to do with it. It has to do with your conscience. I think my conscience is God. I don’t think praying five times a day is going to improve me...I think it has to do with being good. You know, being honest, having integrity, and basically living up to a lot of standards. Um, you know, what my expected social role is. I mean, I’m supposed to be a good, obedient daughter, and a good, obedient student... It doesn’t feel good. But I still have to live up to these standards. I don’t have a choice. I just don’t have a choice. Publicly Resigned, Privately Struggling Rahnuma explained that she is not happy about being viewed and treated as someone without an opinion, as someone who does not, or should not, have an opinion. She said that some women are happy, but this is because they are not even aware of the possibility that they could or should have an opinion. When she was seventeen years-old, she thought she could change things. But she no longer believes that she can change herself or society. After being back in Bangladesh for two years, she has given up hope and given in; she has resigned herself to accepting that she cannot change things and that things will not ch nestles. both lite herself as happy : be. for others if s describing herse“ Well. 50] maybe ti going on not happ mean sr thing in used to ' society.‘ given it Rahmum time. she belie gihng in to he abuse. and ulti miged man- Strength left I( her family. i can SUWive 11 Rahm about it. Am Simon Wil‘ raglgnallon, 158 things will not change. The struggle between self and other is evident to me as Rahnuma wrestles, both literally and verbally, with being both happy and not happy. Describing herself as happy seems to be something Rahnuma believes she needs to be, or pretend to be, for others if she does not want to risk alienation from or rejection by others; describing herself as unhappy seems to be how she herself truly feels. Well, some women are perfectly happy. They don’t even realize that maybe they should have an opinion, that they should have a say in what’s going on. But they’re happy, so that’s great...Am I happy? No, no, I’m not happy. But I know enough that I can’t go out and change the world. I mean, society is not ready to change _at_all. All this women’s liberation thing in Bangladesh is such a joke. When I was like about seventeen, I used to think that, “No, I can change myself, and hence, I can change society.” But, now I know, “Hey, who am 1?” I’ve just basically just given in. Rahnuma sounded sad and hopeless about her decision to give in. But at the same time, she believed that giving in is the only way that she can get through each day. Not giving in to her parents’ expectations would involve constant conflict, struggle, and . abuse, and ultimately risk alienation and rejection from her family. In a discussion about arranged marriages (discussed earlier in this chapter), she explained that she had no strength left to stand up for what she believes in and wants, and fears such rejection from her family. Thus, giving in -- being silent and accepting -- is perhaps the only way she can survive in her family and her society. Rahnuma explained that she can either be happy about her situation or miserable about it. And she has decided that she should be happy, at least outwardly, because her Situation will not change. Choosing to be happy about giving in, while an act of reSignation, is still a choice; and one of the few choices Rahnuma has wrthm her control. h an effort to co: into perspective worse situations Well, l‘r matter 0 pretend ‘ be miser you rmrg have no Fortuna silencing super according to R very, very unh about her stru; Would cause I that I was the While voice, She us Most of the 1 “You know, like She has matters Sh person hear °Pinion to p impofiant t 159 In an effort to come to terms with her decision to give in, Rahnuma tries to put her life into perspective by acknowledging that there are a lot of people in her country who are in worse situations than she; thus suggesting that she should be happy with her situation. Well, I’m okay with it [giving in] now. [pause] I am. You know, it’s a matter of attitude. I mean, this is it, either you like it, or at least you pretend to like it, and you’re happy. Or you can like make up your mind to be miserable, and be miserable. So, because nothing’s going to change, so you might as well be content with it, you know. I mean, a lot of people have no food and no shelter and stuff like that. And at least I have that. Fortunately for Ralmuma, she is able to discuss her parents’ restrictive and silencing supervision with her fi'iends because they are having the same struggles. And according to Rahnuma, “They’re also questioning a lot of things, you know. They’re very, very unhappy.” But she added that she cannot talk with even her closest friends about her struggles with religion because “they probably wouldn’t agree with me and that would cause too many problems. I mean, they just wouldn’t understand.” She told me that I was the only person with whom she had shared these thoughts. While Rahnuma sometimes has opportimities to act on her beliefs and express her voice, she usually keeps her opinions to herself. The reasons for this self-silencing vary. Most of the time, Rahnuma doesn’t feel that she has any choice. Rahnuma explained, “You know, sometimes, it is just not allowed.” Sometimes, however, Rahnuma does feel like she has a choice, but chooses not to share her opinion because She (106311 tthmk It matters. She only wants to share her opinion if she thinks it will mean something to the person hearing it. There are also times, however, when Rahnuma chooses to keep her opinion to herself because she doesn’t want to jeopardize relatiODShIPS Wthh are important to her. Well, [1 l0 choice. A mean, 1 lo persons 1 not going well. son anybody. As our 0 is concerned ab< not say what Shl "llhat I think i: Rahnuma seem seemsto feel p about. Knowi ther. Know f” they tell as World Only be Where womer 0f intelligenc She believes kaS that s or heated as 160 Well, [I keep my opinion to myself] because sometimes I don’t have any choice. And sometimes, I just can’t be bothered to because I don’t care. I mean, I know my opinion is going to make absolutely no impact on that person’s behavior, so why bother. I mean, they’re like, I don’t care. If it’s not going to make any difference, then I’d rather not say anything. And, well, sometimes, I don’t say anything because I don’t want to upset anybody. I mean, if I care about someone, I lie 3 lot. I do, I really do. As our conversation continued, it became increasingly clear that while Ralmuma is concerned about maintaining relationships she cares about, the main reason she does not say what she thinks is because she does not think it is going to make any difference. “What I think isn’t going to make any difference, you know, because it’s so irrelevant.” Rahnuma seems to have resigned herself to having no impact on those around her. She seems to feel powerless to effect any change in her life, or in the lives of those she cares about. Summary and Reflections Knowing Rahnuma involves more than making sense of what we can see and hear of her. Knowing Rahnuma requires gaining access to her private thoughts and feelings, for they tell another whole story about who she is. Rahnuma is a woman who lives in one world only because she feels she cannot live in another. The world she lives in is a world where women are viewed and treated as second-class citizens, as people without opinions or intelligence. Ralmuma talked about being silenced and oppressed in this world, but she believes that there are no possibilities to live in ways that are not oppressive. She knows that she is not seen by others as having an opinion. She is certainly not recognized or treated as if she is an intelligent and capable person. In addition, she is restricted physically; her f? and to school, ju As a chil for she did not r think to questio she vas capablt but unaware tlr Spendir from the stand contrasr to me other religiom herself, to def was best for l society. She Possibilities t content on}, | Retro Problems an Cultllral con expected to was e"Peer: S“trusted K 161 physically; her family allow her no freedoms, no mobility. She is confined to her home and to school, just waiting to be married off. As a child, Rahnuma knew no other world. She was content with what she had, for she did not realize that there was any other way to be or to live. She did not even think to question things or to make decisions for herself because she did not know that she was capable of such questioning and decision-making. She was silent and silenced, but unaware that there was any other way to be. Spending two years at a predominantly Hindu boarding school in India, away from the standards and expectations of her family and religion, introduced her, by contrast, to new and different ways of knowing and being. She learned that there were other religions and ways of life beside the Muslim one. She learned to stand up for herself, to define her limits and her boundaries. She began to think that she knew what was best for her, as opposed to complying blindly with her parents and the rules of - society. She was no longer blinded or oppressed by ignorance. Becoming aware of other possibilities changed Rahnuma’s life irrevocably. In short, Rahnuma was no longer content with her life as a Muslim woman in Bangladesh. Returning home with this newfound independence and assertiveness was rife with problems and struggles. While she was able to speak up in the particular social and cultural context of the boarding school, when she returned to Bangladesh, she was expected to function according to her old ways of being and knowing. In particular, she Was expected to be silent and timid, as all good Bengali Muslim girls and women are supposed to be. She now saw these expectations as constraining and restraining; she felt that she was beii There was mucl and certainly in Rahnuma belie talked about he that she "shoul imposed upon Rahnu “‘5 a painful And thus, she miserably. 0 more honest l angry and sat “Should” has It ap] because this 38 a young \ Choice but 1 Wals to be, now, She h: She will no She flies to 162 that she was being oppressed. She was ready and wanted to change herself and her world. There was much conflict between her and her parents. And perhaps more importantly, and certainly more painfully, there was much inner conflict between the way that Rahnuma believed she should be and the way she believed she could be. That is, she talked about how she should have been allowed to live her life, she knew the freedoms that she “should” have had, but she was all too aware of the constraints and expectations imposed upon her by her family and her religion, she knew what she “could” have. Rahnuma found that she alone could not effect the change she so desired. This was a painful realization for her and one that she still struggles with, at least privately. And thus, she felt that her only choice was to accept her fate happily, or to accept her fate miserably. On the surface, she has chosen to accept her fate happily. But, at a deeper, more honest level, a level which, surprisingly, she was willing to share with me, she is angry and saddened by her fate. She is angry and sad because she now knows what she “should” have had. It appears that Rahnuma has almost come full circle. She was silent as a child because this was expected of her and she knew of no other way to be. Rahnuma is silent as a young woman because that is what is expected of her and she believes she has no choice but to be this way. The difference is that she is now aware that there are other ways to be, ways which include having a voice and being true to herself. At least for now, she has accepted her circumstances, her fate, and resigned herself to a life in which she will not be allowed to have a voice. And thus, her struggles with voice continue as she tries to meet the cultural expectations of her family and her religion, which require her to be silent v up and voice her While th things l believe sell and other. p religion. She it set for her. ever daughter. meet ideas about thi chooses not to daughter and r Would like to Rahnt haVing a voic Obedient ant would mean being Obedie Ralumina fe 68kmlged fr. 1m“by bei Hue self. B 163 her to be silent, while at the same time longing for a life which would allow her to speak up and voice her opinions. While this story can be viewed through many lenses and be a story of many things, I believe Rahnuma’s story is a case of a woman struggling with voice and silence, self and other, public and private, to meet the cultural expectations of her family and her religion. She feels committed and obligated to live up to the standards that others have set for her, even when those standards conflict with her own standards. Being a good daughter, meeting her family’s expectations, almost always supersedes Rahnuma’s own ideas about things. While she wishes she could express those ideas and opinions, she chooses not to because there will be negative consequences for not being the good daughter and meeting her parents’ expectations. She must choose between the person she would like to be and the person she has created to meet the expectations of her family. Rahnuma’s struggle, which is more often than not an internal one, is between having a voice, agency, autonomy, and ultimately a sense of self, and being silent, obedient, and ultimately maintaining a relationship with her family. Being true to herself would mean having a voice, expressing her own ideas, but being a good daughter means being obedient, silent, and committed to maintaining the relationship above all else. Rahnuma feels she has no choice but to be the good daughter because the price of being estranged from her family is too great. She recognizes, however, that she is also paying a price by being the good daughter, by keeping her mouth shut, because she is denying her true self. Brown and Gilligan (1992) describe this phenomenon as giving up a relationship with rather discussior 164 relationship with oneself to maintain a relationship with others (see Chapter Two for fiirther discussion). PART THREE LESSONS LEARNED AND LIVED: SUMMARY AND REFLECTIONS “...it is not necessary to know everything in order to understand something.” Geertz, 1973 LESS( Just ove important fram they introduce intertnined wi have Spent cor knoning‘ in p; attempt to fur 0fthis dissert foroe¢ or per Women’s Wa! Upon Bangladesh 1 the WOrk of] gender and l the Past ten researchers mm“, Ru Chapter 6 LESSONS LEARNED: FINDINGS, CLAIMS, AND IMPLICATIONS Just over a decade ago, Belenky and her colleagues (1986) provided us with an important framework for thinking about women’s ways of knowing. More specifically, they introduced us to the notion that a woman’s identity, her sense of self, is inextricably intertwined with the development of her mind and her voice. During the same ten years, I have spent considerable time thinking, talking, and writing about women’s ways of knowing, in particular, women college students’ ways of knowing. My most recent attempt to further my understanding of this complex and elusive phenomenon, the focus of this dissertation, took me to Dhaka, Bangladesh, 3 culture so unfamiliar to me that it forced, or perhaps I should say enabled, me to see, hear, and experience things related to women’s ways of knowing that I had never seen, heard, or experienced before. Upon returning to the United States after living, working, and doing research in Bangladesh for a year and a half, I found myself turning the pages of essays inspired by the work of Belenky et a1. (1986), essays that expanded the original argument beyond gender and knowing to address the complicating factors of race, class, and culture. Over the past ten years, Belenky, Clinchy, Goldberger, Tarule, as well as other prominent researchers such as Brown, Debold, Harding, Hurtado, Mahoney, Menkel-Meadow, Tolman, Ruddick, and Schweickart, have been asking and exploring important new 165 questions to try I by. as well as so pose such questi and culture shat commmities oi Excited inspired and in questions abou ltoo have beer knitting. Anc College studen some light on Less: My fu (Welte, 1995‘, “d Heglecter Ways 0f knou played in the faculty mem (i.e., We Wer C”sequent; 166 questions to try to further our understanding of ways of knowing. The essays compiled by, as well as some of them written by Goldberger, Tarule, Clinchy, and Belenky (1996), pose such questions as the following. Who is allowed to know? How do social context and culture shape strategies for knowing? How is knowledge co-constructed in communities of knowers? Excitedly I realized that my last two research studies were yet two more essays inspired and informed by Belenky et al. (1986). I too have been asking important questions about the influence of social context and culture on women’s ways of knowing. I too have been developing the original framework for thinking about women’s ways of knowing. And through my ongoing conversations with and observations of women college students, in the United States and in Bangladesh, I believe my research sheds some light on the answers to these questions. Lessons Learned: Paying Attention to Social and Cultural Contexts My first study of women’s ways of knowing with American college students (Welte, 1995), while sensitive to the social context of which students are a part, ignored and neglected the possibility that cultural context might also be influencing students’ ways of knowing. I just didn’t think about or consider the role that culture may have played in the development of these women’s ways of knowing, nor did my advising faculty members. The two women students and I were all part of the same general culture (i.e., we were all white, upper middle-class, college educated, American women), and consequently culture seemed a non—issue. Culture, 1 continue my rese American cultur attention Simp to pay attention students‘ ways While 1 study. it was nt Egan to under influence on it COInflatable be UBfamiliarity 2 Surprising and research, be it °IhCIWise not It helps us to It is i; is, my Study ( central to Be: But not beca Parts of the S 167 Culture, however, soon became very much an issue. Having the opportunity to continue my research on women’s ways of knowing in Bangladesh, a culture quite unlike American culture, especially for women, immediately brought the notion of culture to my attention. Simply proposing to study women’s ways of knowing in Bangladesh forced me to pay attention to the existence of culture, and to the possibility that culture influences students’ ways of knowing. While I acknowledged the importance of considering culture in my proposed study, it was not until I lived and worked in this new and unfamiliar culture that I actually began to understand and believe in and experienced the importance of culture as an influence on women’s ways of knowing. The familiar became unfamiliar, and the comfortable became uncomfortable. I myself became uncomfortable. And my unfamiliarity and discomfort helped me to see and think about ways of knowing in surprising and eye-opening ways. This, I believe, is the value of doing comparative A research, be it implicitly or explicitly comparative. It helps us to see things we would otherwise not see. It foregrounds matters that are usually quietly part of the background. It helps us to pay attention. It is important to point out, however, that culture did not become mg issue. That is, my study did not become a study about Bengali culture, about the Muslim religion so central to Bengali culture, or about Bangladesh. Yes, these things are part of my study. But not because they are the primary focus or objects of the study. They are important parts of the story of how I learned about women’s ways of knowing. The focus of my study is women’s ways of knowing, and more specifically, how these ways of honing are infl cultural context So. wha‘ about women's lhad never seer Rabntnna’s sto our understand that college stt this study high Potential way earlier researc Zimmerman, knowing are kn(“ling are i influence of g Rahnt choice and e} for my Claim c