,. Z . _(<.Ir.. £132:

V; . .(M..a:.a...an. .N . tn .34....‘q‘ LA.
2? ' Va 1"-

u“. . . 3 .

u a.
.n .7...”
"5:53....

.uan,

19L .w x: ‘ .1:
input..." 515.
ih.

gm“.
.. 1.“.
1w. A
.3
,. 2.

:53 5.1: . u. . .
531.33....mm. km:
. .X. ‘n a 21515
t .. i .4 5.3.05:
as“... i 3:. win}. .
1...: bran“ .Emfig
. 331...". ._.. L .m. ha.
3.... 3. ...= .zéwnné..k§. :
4; 5 a. 1.5332,. .a.....».....fi.n.?.
.- . 4.1.5»: fivtmm; .
.
3...- I: s
. . z, s ..
e mm u f. m .1
a»?
a
”in...
x

.3335. Jr

A 3.. 2.... .3
~ 1.16.... .1... .
.r,
¢anaflfi€

. .a :36:
gm". 3.. {Ci-x;
.i .

saunas}? .4;

r . . int

{33%. y .

.21.}.5:
.7:)I..7..
3:. .. :1")...
ulxvuleri II. a;
z. 5' 1.1.... ‘2. I.)
:2: 455;. :6.
.h. 3. 2- .
ii {I}!!! I":
....ll..::&§l0... 3.3.
#1:)?» n. .
r .

.t 3. .it
.03, i .31 .
. 2

 

.2...
v‘. :91

h ADJSOL..\.(.\I
56‘. It]. 10115:}:

I!.:..:
:5 r..¢\ b
L. .

 

:2 r!..;..:..:::

THESIS

1091

This is to certify that the
dissertation entitled
EXPLORING STORIES OF PARENTAL GRIEF IN CHILDREN
AGED 9-12 THROUGH BIBLIONARRATIVE
presented by

Christie S. Eppler

has been accepted towards fulfillment
of the requirements for

Ph.D. degree in Family & Child Ecology

 

 

MTW fla’.

Major professor

Date Summer, 2001

MS U is an Affirmative Action/Equal Opportunity Institution 0- 12771

 

 

 

 

 

LIBRARY
Michigan State
University

 

 

 

PLACE IN RETURN BOX to remove this checkout from your record.
To AVOID FINES return on or before date due.
MAY BE RECALLED with earlier due date if requested.

 

DATE DUE DATE DUE DATE DUE

 

 

 

 

#3

id; 1

WC)
«an;
(arm

 

 

AUGOSZU Q9
“8%

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6/01 c:/CIRC/DateDue.p65-p. 15

EXPLORING STORIES OF PARENTAL GRIEF IN CHILDREN AGED 9-12
THROUGH BIBLIONARRATIVE

By

Christie S. Eppler

A DISSERTATION
Submitted to
Michigan State University
in partial fulfillment of the requirements
for the degree of
DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY
Department of Family and Child Ecology

2001

Abstract

EXPLORING STORIES OF PARENTAL GRIEF IN CHILDREN AGED 9-12
THROUGH BIBLIONARRATIVE

By
Christie S. Eppler

The purpose of this qualitative study was to hear grief stories of children, aged
nine to twelve, who have suffered the death of a parent within the past thirty-six months.
Children in this age range are able to be self-reflexive and can acknowledge their feelings
and cognitions (Crain, 2000). These children understand death as final and inevitable
(Siegel & Gorey, 1994; Silverman, 2000; Wass, 1984; Worden, 1996). Additionally,
children in this age range are developmentally and cognitively able to write short,
autobiographical stories. A child’s story is her or his account of events. Children’s
stories serve as their voice. Hearing these voices is important in order to understand a
bereaved child’s loss and adaptation. A child’s personal account adds to a body of
research that primarily focuses on what adults and researchers surmise about childhood
mourning, rather than what the children themselves say. Bereaved children’s stories will
be usefirl to those who work with grieving children in order to guide the children through
the grief process.

The grief stories were collected by interviewing the children and helping them
write a story. Biblionarrative, an innovative Narrative Theory technique created by the
researcher, is an autobiographical children’s literature story about a child’s parental
bereavement. The researcher assisted children in telling their story about their parental
loss by asking questions guided by a review of literature framed in an ecological context.

Afier gathering the stories, the researcher analyzed the stories to find crosscurrent themes

in the children’s voices. The verbal and written stories confirmed previous literature that
states bereaved children experience sadness, anger, denial and anxiety. The study also
revealed new concepts regarding a child’s grief process, such as the relationship between
the child’s sadness and the quality of relationship the now-deceased parent had with the
child. Additionally, the findings explore the modalities of telling an oral history versus
writing an autobiography.

The findings reveal bereaved children’s tendency to be resilient, an attribute
related to having strong levels of family cohesion, internal strengths, and external
supports. These findings suggest that clinicians may benefit from using a strength-based
approached when working with bereaved children. Moreover, for therapists,
incorporating Biblionarrative into a Narrative Therapy treatment plan may be useful in

assisting bereaved children and their families.

Copyright by
CHRISTIE s. EPPLER
2001

Acknowledgements

I am deeply grateful to those who helped and encouraged me while I completed
my dissertation. First and foremost, I would like to thank the children who told me their
stories. Their wit, candor, and wisdom astonished me and I am honored that they would
share their experiences with me.

I would also like to thank my committee members, Drs. Marsha Carolan, Rena
Harold, David Imi g, and Robert Lee. Each committee member pushed my thinking,
while offering insight and wisdom. I am especially grateful to Dr. Carolan for allowing
me to take my research in a direction I wanted to go, for reading and critiquing rough
drafts, and for encouraging me to set deadlines so I could finish!

My mother’s love and support motivated me throughout my many years of
school. Her unwavering emotional and spiritual generosity provided the strength I
needed. By believing in me fully and completely, she gave me the hope I needed to
sustain and survive. I admire her strength as a woman, a mother, a young widow, and a
friend.

Thank you to Laurie, John, and Bear Brian for providing a respite from school
life. I’m glad you invited me to Michigan and I appreciate your making my time here fun
(especially the camping tripsl). My sister and I share similar stories, as she is the only
other person who knows what it is like to lose our father. I am glad we are fiiends and
sisters, surviving the hard times and the good.

I am also grateful to my colleagues in the MFT program for their support,
encouragement and friendship. Thank you to Natasha for the nutrients, to Lori for her

listening ear, to Chris for making me laugh, to Jinyoung for keeping me company through

more than one bad movie when I was too tired to work, to Mary for teaching me to see
the strength in every kid, to Shannon for her kindness, to Kathleen for running with me,
and to Polly, Jen, Jenny, Monica, Matt, and Whitney for their fiiendly smiles.

Thank you to my Michigan fi'iends, Carolyn and the EMMSU fellows. Cara,
when they make our Behind the Music special, I hope they include the costtunes, kids,
chips, movie reviews, and laughter. You made living in Michigan and listening to Open
House Party fun! Fellows, I always looked forward to Sunday and Wednesday nights!
Thanks for the prayers, Padre. May the Episcopalian Running Club rest in peace.

Finally, I am indebted to my long-distance friends for their calls and letters that
were rays of sunshine. Thank you Emily for chatting with me about anything and
everything until bedtime. A thousand thank-yous to Elbert for the most encouraging e-
mail I will ever receive. Thank you to Jenn Grosser and Sarah McLaughlin for their
spiritual encouragement. Thank you to Nina, Beth and the Cagwin family for making
visits home feel like I never left. Thank you to Amy and Rachel for your continued

friendship; you met me the first day I started college—I’m finally finished!

vi

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter I
INTRODUCTION ........................................................................................................... 1
Purpose and Significance of the Study ................................................................ 2
Key Concepts of the Study .................................................................................. 3
Research Questions .............................................................................................. 5
Chapter 2
THEORETICAL BACKGROUND ................................................................................. 7
Human Ecology Theory ....................................................................................... 7
Postmodern Social Constructionism .................................................................... 9
Narrative Theory .................................................................................................. ll
Bereaved Children ............................................................................................... 12
Bronfenbrenner’s Ecology of Human Development Applied to Parentally
Bereaved Children ................................................................................... 13
Grieving Child’s Familial Microsystem .................................................. 14
Beyond the Family: Influences of Mesosystems, Exosystem, and
Chronosystem on the Bereaved Child ...................................................... 15
Developmental Influences on Grief Resolution ....................................... 20
Conceptual Map Narrative ................................................................................... 23
Chapter 3
METHODOLOGY .......................................................................................................... 27
Participatory Action Research ............................................................................. 28
Phenomenological Approach ............................................................................... 29
Researcher as Instrument ..................................................................................... 30
Working with Children ........................................................................................ 31
Participants ........................................................................................................... 33
Sample Site .......................................................................................................... 34
Procedure ............................................................................................................. 35
Interview Questions ....................................................................................... 37
Data Analysis ....................................................................................................... 39
Validity and Generalizablity ............................................................................................ 40
Chapter 4
RESULTS ........................................................................................................................ 42
Background .......................................................................................................... 42
Research Question #1 .......................................................................................... 43
Research Question #la ......................................................................................... 44
Research Question #lb ........................................................................................ 46
Research Question #2 .......................................................................................... 48
Research Question #2a ......................................................................................... 49
Research Question #2b ........................................................................................ 50

vii

Research Question #2c ................................................................................... 53

Research Question #2d .................................................................................. 56
Research Question #3 .................................................................................... 60
Chapter 5
DISCUSSION .................................................................................................................. 64
Seeing Grief and Loss from an Ecological Perspective ....................................... 67
Implications for Clinicians: A Strength-Based Approach .................................. 69
Biblionarrative as a Clinical Intervention in Narrative Therapy ......................... 74
Limitations of the Study ....................................................................................... 78
Conclusion ........................................................................................................... 79
REFERENCES ................................................................................................................ 81
APPENDICES
Appendix A: Informed Consent ........................................................................... 88
Appendix B: Child Information Sheet ................................................................. 89
Appendix C: Advertisement for Participation in Study ....................................... 90
Appendix D: UCRIHS Approval ......................................................................... 91

viii

LIST OF TABLE & FIGURES

Figure 1

A Theoretical Map ............................................................................................... 8
Figure 2

A Conceptual Map ............................................................................................... 25
Table 3.1

Demographics of Participants .............................................................................. 34
Figure 3.2

An Operational Map ............................................................................................ 36
Figure 3.2

Template of Biblionarrative Storyboard .............................................................. 39
Figure 4.1

Cross-Case Matrix of Emotions ........................................................................... 51
Figure 4.2

Cross-Case Matrix of the Future .......................................................................... 54
Figure 4.3

Cross-Case Matrix of Others Involved in Bereaved Child’s Life ........................ 57
Figure 4.4

Cluster Display of Talking and Writing ............................................................... 62
Figure 5

Cluster Display of Bereaved Children’s Resiliency ............................................ 72

ix

Chapter 1
INTRODUCTION

An estimated 5% of children will experience a parental death before the age of 18
(Worden, 1996). Loss of a parent creates a period of stress and sadness for surviving
children (Worden, 1996). There are multiple, ecological factors that influence the grief
process and grief resolution. The surviving family, a potential support system for the
grieving child, experiences altered family functioning as remaining family members
attempt to reorder and adjust to life without the deceased parent. Children’s voices are
ofien not heard in the midst of a chaotic, grieving family (Neimeyer, 1999). Families
who were connected before the death may become more bonded, thus not allowing the
child to express his or her own unique and individual grief. Conversely, families where
the remaining parent is depressed or neglectful may not give sad children a forum to
verbalize their experience.

Due to the far-reaching consequences of parental bereavement, researchers and
therapists have suggested that children effectively facilitate grief work by writing a letter
to the deceased parent or keeping a journal of thoughts, feelings, and emotions
surrounding the death of their parent (Neimeyer, 1999; O’Conner, 1984). Writing
journals or stories helps us make sense of our lives (Cooper, 1991; Witherell, 1991).
Authoring thoughts and feelings gives children a place of their own to grieve, regardless
of the familial grieving style. Writing, either literally or metaphorically, aids the child in
understanding the loss of a loved one by providing the child a non-threatening forum to

express his or her experience.

Children often use stories to express their thoughts, feelings, and perceptions
(Riley, 1993). A child’s story is his or her account of events. The plot, characters,
setting, and action are all linked in terms of causality. The purpose of stories is “to
elucidate character, express an idea, or incite to an action” (Holman & Harmon, 1992, p.
457). Story as metaphor affords the child the ability to express content that they may be
unable to communicate through traditional conversation, allowing them to “conjure up
and illuminate less accessible aspects of experience” (Schnitzer, 1993, p. 443), such as
the pain and sorrow of the grief process. Grief metaphors can aid the child in feeling
safer about self-disclosure, rcframe a problem, and explore difficulties a child is facing
(Bowman, 1995). Children use scripts as “the primary means of anticipating,
comprehending, and re-creating real-life experiences” (Docherty & Sandelowski, 1999,
p. 177). Schnitzer (1993) states that how a child stories the past determines how the child
views self in the present and shapes her or his future self-concept.

Children’s grief stories serve as their voice. Hearing these voices is important in
order to understand a bereaved child’s loss and adaptation. By listening to mourning
children’s stories, we are able to understand, empathize, and validate their distressing
situation. .-.. .

Pumse and Significance of the Studv

It is important for researchers to hear the stories of parentally bereaved children.
Moreover, understanding the content of children’s grief stories influences theory and
practice regarding the needs of children who mourn. A child’s personal account of her or
his mourning adds to a body of research that focuses primarily on what adults and

researchers surmise about childhood mourning, rather than what children themselves say.

Additionally, bereaved children’s stories are useful for those who work with bereaved
children (i.e., therapists and teachers) in order to assist and guide them through grieving.
This investigator believes that understanding a child’s personal grief story benefits the
social sciences, and is significantly valuable to the child. By helping the children narrate
their grief stories, we are able to better understand individual and collective aspects of
childhood mourning. Consequently, the primary purpose of this phenomenological,
participatory-action, qualitative research was to provide an outlet for grieving children to
author their stories while giving professionals an opportunity to hear these voices.

In most studies regarding children’s experiences, parents or adults have been the
informants (Gil & Bogard, 1982) and children’s direct experiences have been
marginalized (Holmes, 1998). The majority of the current literature regarding childhood
mourning addresses what adults believe children encounter, as opposed to what the
children report experiencing. Children are the best and most accurate informants
regarding their experiences and can convey “graphic descriptions” of life-events once a
sense of self is developed (Docherty & Sandelowski, 1999, p. 177). Considering a
child’s capacity to tell his or her story, it is important to allow children the opportunity to
do so. This study is both unique and significant in its emphasis in listening to children’s
individual voices, allowing them to process their grief and convey their unique and
shared experiences through their interview and written autobiography, or Biblionarrative.
Key Concepts of the Study

The participants in this study included twelve children, aged nine to twelve who
suffered the death of one parent within the last thirty-six months. Children in this age

range are able to be self-reflexive and can acknowledge their feelings and cognitions

(Crain, 2000). These children understand death as final and inevitable, but are often
confused by the emotions surrounding death (Siegel & Gorey, 1994; Silverrnan, 2000;
Wass, 1984; Worden, 1996). Nine to twelve year-olds were chosen as participants for
this study to afford them an opportunity to voice their often-unheard confusion and
emotions regarding their grief. Additionally, children in this age range are
developmentally and cognitively able to write brief, autobiographical stories. Older and
younger children were excluded because adolescents have a deeper understanding of their
circumstances while younger children do not fully understand the meaning of death and
they are often unable to verbalize or write about their feelings (Wass, 1984).

The researcher collected the grief stories by interviewing the children and helping
them write a story. A Biblionarrative, an innovative Narrative Theory technique created
by the researcher, is an autobiographical children’s literature story about a child’s
parental bereavement. The oral and written stories were considered one triangulated data
set, except for some within case comparisons that explored the similarities and
differences between oral and written stories. The researcher assisted the child in telling a
story about his or her parent’s death by asking questions guided by a review of literature
about parental bereavement and the theoretical frameworks of the study, specifically
Human Ecology and Narrative theories. After gathering the stories, the researcher
analyzed the stories to find crosscurrent themes in the children’s voices. The verbal and
written stories confirmed previous literature that states bereaved children experience
sadness, anger, denial and anxiety. The study also revealed new concepts regarding a

child’s grief process, such as the relationship between the child’s sadness and the quality

of relationship the now-deceased parent had with the child. Additionally, the findings
explore the modalities of telling an oral history versus writing an autobiography.

The findings reveal bereaved children’s tendency to be resilient, an attribute
related to having strong levels of family cohesion, internal strengths, and external
supports. These findings suggest that clinicians may benefit from using a strength-based
approached when working with bereaved children. Moreover, for therapists,
incorporating Biblionarrative into a Narrative Therapy treatment plan may be useful in
assisting bereaved children and their families.

Reseagh Questions

Afier the children’s life stories were gathered, they were qualitatively analyzed to
understand the dynamics about how children story their grief. Exploratory research seeks
to understand specific phenomena by defining and investigating theoretical constructs
(Marshall & Rossman, 1995). The specific research questions were guided by theoretical
frameworks and existing literature regarding childhood parental bereavement (described
in Chapter Two). Defining research questions was a fluid and dynamic process
throughout the interviews and analysis. Grounded Theory suggests that potential
questions may be refined as the study progresses (Raful & Moon, 1994).

As the analysis concluded, the following questions were used to explore how children
story their parental bereavement:

Research Question #1: What are the interactions between the parentally bereaved
children and their main environments?

#la: What are the settings of the stories; what role do the natural/physical and

human built environments have?

#lb: What social/cultural influences are evident in the stories?

Research Question #2: How does the child story the events surrounding the death
of the parent?

#2a: What are the beginnings to the stories?

#2b: What are some of the main themes of the stories?

#2c: What are the conclusions to the stories?

#2d: Who are significant characters in the story?

Research Question #3: Do the children prefer telling or writing their stories?

In an effort to address these questions, it is important that we understand what is
known about a child’s grief process and how qualitative methodology influences our
study of bereaved children. Chapter Two defines the theoretical framework of this study
and reviews relevant literature related to parentally bereaved children, including their
environmental influences and developmental capacities. Theoretical and conceptual
maps are explicated, bounding the specific areas under study. Chapter Three outlines the
qualitative methodology used in this study, focusing on phenomenological and
participatory-action research and explicating the logistics of this study. Chapter Four
presents the results of the study. The findings are discussed in Chapter Five.
Additionally, this last chapter critiques the research and suggests firrther areas of study
regarding parental bereavement and utilizing Biblionarrative as a research methodology

and in a clinical setting.

Chapter 2
THEORETICAL BACKGROUND

Two major theoretical perspectives, Human Ecology Theory (Bubolz & Sontag,
1993; Bronfenbrenner, 1979) and Postmodern Social Constructionism (Andersen 1993;
Anderson, 1993,1997; Foucault, 1980; Gergen & Gergen, 1984; Maturana & Varela,
1992), influence this study of parentally bereaved children. The theoretical map (see
Figure 1) shows the gestalt of these theories and their interactions. Examining grief and
loss fiom an ecological perspective “reveals connections that might otherwise go
unnoticed and helps us to look beyond the immediate and obvious to bridge where the
most significant influences lie” (Garbarino, 1982, p. 18). The ecological approach draws
upon interdisciplinary knowledge, transcending boundaries when addressing practical
problems and quality of life issues, such as grief and loss. Human Ecology theorists
aspire to see connections and relationships between and among ideas (Bubolz & Sontag,
1993)
Human Ecologv Theory

Human Ecology Theory (HET) suggests humans continuously and reciprocally
interact within multiple environments: the natural/physical environment, the human built
environment, and the social constructed environment (Bubolz & Sontag, 1993). These
three environments are shown as rectangles in the background of Figure 1. The three
two-way arrows within these rectangles demonstrate that each environment affects the
other(s). The three environments each play a role in a parentally bereaved child’s grief
process. The natural/physical enviromnent includes natural and physical resources that

children need to sustain life such as water and food. while the human constructed

  

 

Human Built

 

 
 

Human Ecology Theory (HET):
Humans Interact within

Three Environments . 7 ,_
(Bubloz & Sontag, 1993) ‘ (And '

  
   
   
   
 

Social/Cultural

 

Narrative: (Eron & Lund,1996,
Freedman & Combs, 1996; P
& Doan,1994;Schnitzer,1993;
White & Epston, 1990;
Zimmerman & Dickerson, 1996)

 
  

 
   
   
 
 
 

 

"iz:

icrosystem

   
 

  

Macrosystem

 
 

Chronosystem

Within HET, human development is fluid process of
organism and environments on multiple, nested layers
(Brofenbrenner, 1979)

 

 

Figge l. A Theoretical Map.

environment are fabricated resources such as shelter. These basic resources affect the
health and development of grieving children. If a child does not receive adequate
nutrition or have a safe place to live, he or she may not have the emotional energy to deal
with the grief process. It is important that basic, physical needs are satisfied before
emotional needs (Maslow, 1954).

The social/cultural environment is at the forefront of the three-layered rectangles,
showing that this is the predominant environment in this study. The social/cultural
environment includes societal norms, roles, values, and beliefs of bereaved children.
These norms are diverse and socially constructed, differing from culture to culture.
Within the social/cultural environment are two smaller, layered rectangles, which
represent that background and foreground theories in this study. The background theory,
Postmodern Social Constructionism, suggests that cultural norms are subjectively
interpreted and vary from person to person.

Postmodern Sociitl Constructionis_m

Postmodernism, a reaction against the modern mind-set of objectivism and
empiricism, is steeped in the notion that reality is what the individual determines it to be
(Nichols & Schwartz, 1998). This paradigm shift rejects claims of universal truths while
emphasizing the cultural context of knowledge and individual subjectivity. Foucault
(1980) argues that an individual’s existence is influenced by the power of “truths,” or
accepted norms, that are part of society’s collective unconscious. These “tru ” hold
power because they often go unchallenged in the larger society and thus covertly affect
an individual’s functioning. The postmodern epistemology shifts the power away from a

societal “truth”, instead embracing the diversity of humanity and suggesting that there are

multiple perspectives and ways to understand a single situation (Moules, 2000).
Anderson (1993, 1997) asserts that knowledge, either what we know or what we think we
know, is married to the social/physical/spiritual being of the knower. The meaning
ascribed to events depends on the person’s frame-of-re ference. Monk, Winslade,
Crocket, and Epston (1997) believe that subjective meanings are created in particular
contexts, not an objective truth that can be applied to a specific situation. Our place in
history, time and society shape our perception of our life.

A subset of postmodernism is the philosophical stance of Social Constructionism
that asserts that reality is constructed in the context of interpersonal interactions
(Anderson 1993, 1997; Gergen, 1999; Maturana & Varela, 1992; White & Epston, 1990).
Reality is known through perceptions and perceptions are both generated and expressed
through language (Anderson, 1993, 1997; White & Epston, 1990). Language is the
context in which we define our world and deconstruct beliefs, assumptions, and values
that influence our functioning (Andersen, 1993; Anderson, 1993, 1997). Knowledge, or
what is created by language, is multi-authored among a community of persons and
relationships (Anderson, 1997). Language, both verbal and non-verbal, organizes
relational events into narratives, which give, ascribe, and hold meaning (White & Epston,
1990). Additionally, language gives meaning and mediates the understanding of lived
experiences. Through oral and written language, people construct scripts of their lives
and this becomes the reality in which they live. We use metaphoric language and these
metaphors influence how we feel about one another, our world, and ourselves (Anderson,
1993, 1997; Schnitzer 1993; White & Epston, 1990). The metaphors are often reflected

in our life-story.

10

Narrative Theory

In Figure 1, within the Postmodern Social Constructionism rectangle, a Narrative
Theory rectangle is embedded. Narrative Theory serves as the foreground theory for this
study. A person’s narrative, or life-story, reveals what that person deems important,
which affects his or her behavior (White & Epston, 1990; Zimmerman & Dickerson,
1996). These stories are not static. A problem-centered story may be transformed to an
account of success and hope (Monk et al., 1997). Narrative theorists encourage bonding,
or joining, with children by hearing their story, using their language, and collaborating
with them (Bron & Lund, 1996; Freedman & Combs, 1996; Parry & Doan, 1994; White
& Epston, 1990; Zimmerman & Dickerson, 1996).

The transformation occurs through collaborative narrative therapy techniques
such as extemalization of the problem, finding unique outcomes, and joining through
metaphor. White and Epston (1990) suggest that extemalization is an approach that
encourages a person to objectify and personify problems. The problem becomes a
separate entity that assists individuals to describe themselves and their relationships from
a new, non-problem saturated perspective. For example, a child who experiences a lack
of emotional closeness, evidenced by non-communication within the family, could
extemalize not talking as a “quiet monster” that eats all the words in the family. The
family then could fight against this monster by learning and employing effective
communication skills, in an effort to build cohesion. Moreover, subsequent to the
extemalization of the symptom, an individual is released from blame while he or she
maintains responsibility in the fight against the monster (or symptom). Blaming

messages such as “you don’t listen” may be replaced with “the quiet monster ate my

1]

words and you didn’t hear me.” Other benefits of extemalization include the enhanced
possibility for action, the ability to take a lighter or humorous approach to a serious
problem, and the opportunity for dialogue (White & Epston, 1990).

Initially, when creating a story, one must first join with the storyteller, map the
influence of the problem, and co-create the narrative by talking or writing (White &
Epston, 1990). Mapping the influence assesses the extent of the situation while
contradicting a problem-saturation paradigm. In order to estimate the breadth of the
situation, the clinician asks clients to describe “unique outcomes” to the situation. This
shows that alternatives are possible and that the problem is not all encompassing.
Finding “unique outcomes” is similar to the solution-focused technique of asking, “when
[the problem] is just a little bit better, what is happening?” (Walter & Peller, 1992). The
identification of unique outcomes and the discovery of new meanings around these
outcomes assist individuals to identify their resistance to the effects of the problem.
Hence, one undermines the problem by refusing to submit to its complete control,
rendering the problem less effective in its sphere of influence (White & Epston, 1990).
Begaved Children

An estimated 5% of children will experience a parental death before the age of 18
(Worden, 1996). Research suggests that bereaved children are a vulnerable population, at
increased risk for social impairment and psychopathology (Baker, Sedney, & Gross,
1992; Berlinsky & Biller, 1982; Weller, Weller, Fristad, & Bowes, 1991). Stambrook
and Parker’s (1987) review indicates that multiple factors including religious training, life
circumstances, cognitive development, and emotional development affect a child’s

understanding of death. Childhood grief and loss must be understood on multiple levels,

12

including systemic and contextual influences, developmental stages of the child,
intrapsychic mourning, and family adaptation.

Bronfenbrenner’s Ecology of Human Development Applied to Farm
Bereaved Children. Bronfenbrenner (1979) emphasizes that human development is a
fluid process of organism-environment interactions. Individuals function within several
interconnected layers of the environment. These environments fluctuate from face-to-
face interactions (i.e., grief work in a family setting) to distant social contexts (social
norms regarding mourning process). Environmental influences may be either positive or
negative; contextual factors may facilitate or impede the mourning process and grief
resolution. Accordingly, Bronfenbrenner’s theory of human development illustrates
different layers and interactions of human development that then can be applied to form a
model for grief and loss issues in children and families.

Bronfenbrenner (1979) considers the individual’s most immediate environment
the microsystem because it involves interactions between individuals and the changing
environments in which they live. These systems have a significant influence as
individuals are continually participating in several microsystems simultaneously. A
bereaving child’s microsystems include surviving family members adapting to a loss of a
parent, academic environments where emotional effects of grief may impair learning, and
peer groups with whom the grieving child may become distant due to attachment and
abandonment issues. According to Bronfenbrenner (1993), in order for development to
occur, “interaction must take place in the immediate, face-to-face setting in which the
person exists” (p. 10). In the process of child development, the function of microsystems

is to increase social interaction with various types of persons and to increase the

13

complexity of achieved tasks. Specifically, grief and loss work must increase emotional
support in a variety of microsystems through caring relationships (at home, at school, and
in therapy) while focusing on the task of grief resolution (through emotional expression,
including openness of feelings regarding loss).

Grieving Child’s Familial Microsystem. Although bereaved children live,
interact, and develop in a variety of microsystems, the family is one of the most
influential contexts for any child, and especially a child coping with grief and loss.
Family members share similar pain, grieving the loss of the loved one. How other family
members cope with the loss affects the child’s grief. Oftentimes, the grieving style of a
parent ripples to a child, or the basic structure of the family alters to cope with diverse
mourning among and between individuals (Minuchin & Nichols, 1993).

Various emotions such as shock, guilt, and anger envelop grieving children and
their families. According to Worden (1996), children may initially experience shock and
disbelief when their parent dies. Frequently, children may feel guilty because they may
believe they contributed to cause the death. Additionally, grieving children may feel
angry with the deceased for deserting the family or for leaving them without the
opportunity to resolve outstanding issues or feelings. Moreover, children who encounter
parental death may develop a fear of abandonment. In the period of time following the
loss of a parent, their world may be experienced as a very unsafe place because security
and faith are shattered (Costa, 1992). Within the family dynamic, there are varying levels
of abandonment--the spouse may feel deserted while the children feel abandoned both by
the deceased parent and the surviving parent who is emotionally “away” due to

mourning. Frequently, during the mourning process, a child may also experience other

14

family members as “emotionally unavailable.” Furthermore, a child may fear that the
remaining parent might be taken away. In an attempt of self-protection, they often build
rigid, closed interpersonal boundaries. Additionally, the bereaved child is likely to
displace feelings of anger or resentment onto the surviving parent. In this case, the child
manifests suppressed resentment in his or her behavior toward the living parent.
Bereaved children are often unable to resolve these complex grief issues on their
own. Due to family dynamics embedded within children’s grief issues, the family must
play an active role in assisting with grief resolution (Cohen, Dizenhuz, & Winget, 1977;
Moody & Moody, 1991; Nadeau, 1998). Walsh and McGoldrick (1988) identify four
tasks that the bereaved family must complete in order to effectively cope with grief
issues. The family must acknowledge the reality of death, share the experience of grief
through understanding and accepting of mourning behaviors, reorganize the family
system to accommodate for the loss of the family member and reinvest in the remaining
family members and other life-pursuits. The family must become cohesive in their
efi’orts to assist other family members through individual and shared loss experiences.
Beyond the Family: Influences of Mesosystems. Exosystem, and Chronosystem
on the Bereaved Child. Mesosystems describe the connection and interaction between
and among microsystems. It is important to understand the mesosystemic level of
development since grieving children do not isolate their expressions of grief to one area
of their life. Children manifest their grief at home, at school, and with their peers.
Awareness of the common crosscurrents of a child’s bereavement is important to
effective grief work. One must comprehend the “synergistic effects created by the

interaction of developmentally instigative or inhibitory features and processes present in

15

each setting” (Brofenbrenner, 1993, p. 22). A bereaved child may lash out at well-
intended peers who inadvertently upset the child (e.g., by teasing) because the child is not
capable of isolating intense hurt and anger feelings. The child’s microsystems collide,
with emotional bounds indistinguishable between anger at fiiends and anger about the
loss of a parent. Grief work is not isolated; rather it affects transactions and
circumstances in all environments.

Social support networks provide micro- and meso- systemic assistance for
bereaved children. Social support, grounded in attachment and social exchange theories,
is a means for individuals and families to fulfill social and relational needs. By forming
relationships with others, individuals nurture and protect themselves from adverse
consequences of day-to-day and acute stressors (Garbarino, 1983; Vaux, 1988).
Whittaker (1983) describes social support as mediating structures whereby individuals
and families value and assist others through formal and informal helping. Social support
is critical during mourning because it helps children and families adapt and cope with
grief and loss issues during a time when there is less support from within-group family
members. For example, there is decreased parental support when a widow or a widower
is forced to become not only a supportive single parent with individual grief issues, but
also the sole earner in the family. Stress may limit the access and utilization of existing
social supports (such as the loss of social ties due to the lack of time a single-parent
family has to devote to social networking), thus increasing the need for alternative
support. Additional support may also be necessary if the deceased was the predominant

familial support connector.

16

Just as the mesosystem connects two or more support systems for the grieving
child, the exosystem involves connections between settings; however, the individual does
not participate directly in one of them. For example, this significant, yet indirect,
development may be seen where public funding of school therapists (an exosystem the
child is not directly involved in) significantly affects the professional grief support the
child receives during school hours (a microsystem in which the child does actively
participate). Exosystemic factors may also influence the family grief-process dynamic.
For example, a widow or widower who must suddenly become the sole breadwinner may
not have the necessary time to emotionally support the grieving child if the parent’s
workplace (an exosystem) requires a majority of the parent’s time and energy.

The macrosystem, an umbrella influence that affects all other systems, accounts
for the social, cultural, economic, religious, and political issues in grief and loss work.
Social norms influence how we mourn, just as our biology (physical traits of grief such as
somatic concerns or changes in appetite) and our personality affect grief. Our “directive
belief systems,” or conceptualizations regarding our experience, are influenced by culture
and affect thought and behavior (Bronfenbrenner & Morris, 1998, p. 1010). These
conceptualizations are based on the social and ethnic milieu. Gender, ethnicity, and
religiosity direct mourning rituals (McGoldrick, Pearce, & Giordano, 1982). Culture sets
standards that prescribe the degree of expressiveness to which boys and girls can express
loss (Worden, 1996). Ethnicity and religious traditions guide mourning practices. For
example, Jewish families will “sit Shiva” for a week following the death of a family
member. During this time, members of the family will receive visitors who express

sympathy to the family and bring survivors food as a care-taking gesture. Catholic

17

families hold a wake for the deceased immediately following the funeral, celebrating the
departed’s life and providing a support-mechanism for the remaining family. Context
sets normative standards for “appropriate mourning.” Culturally common characteristics
bound what a child believes about death and how a child copes with loss (e.g. degree of
expressiveness that permits a child to exhibit his or her feelings about grief).

Bronfenbrenner later expanded his work to include the concept of time.
Embedded in the macrosystem is the Chronosystem (Bronfenbrenner, 1989;
Bronfenbrenner & Morris, 1998). The idea of the Chronosystem purports that
development within the individual and within the environment occurs over time. A
child’s place in history affects how they cope with loss. With the modernization of
society, people have been distanced from the grim realities of dying. Unlike nineteenth
century America, the family no longer has an active role in preparing the deceased loved
one for burial. This distancing is metaphoric for how grief and loss issues are often
hidden in modern society. Myers (1986) believes that the overall attitude within
American culture is to diminish and deny the importance of individual emotions
subsequent to parental loss. Modern society attempts to deconstruct death into a non-
reality; a reality that bereaved children cannot deny.

The Chronosystem not only relates to historical influences, but also addresses a
person’s development over time. Chronosystemic influences of bereaved children are
apparent throughout their lifespan because the effects of childhood loss are both
immediate and long lasting (Furman, 1974). Altered states of physical and mental health
(including fear of abandonment and separation) are found in adult children of parental

loss (Walsh & McGoldrick, 1988).

18

The way in which children grieve the loss of a parent influences their response to
future losses (Rice, 1992) and affects how they behave in subsequent relationships.
Growing up after the death of a parent may lead to instability in later marital life.
Socialization plays a direct role in how one will relate to a fitture spouse. Lewis (1976)
states "identity formation seems more difficult without family role models" (p. 53).
Since many life roles are formed by example, the spouse who experienced the loss a
parent as a child might have difficulty forming roles (or setting role expectations) that
were not illustrated when they was young. Additionally, childhood bereavement may
create a depressed outlook where there is a pessimistic view of self, significant
relationships, and the future (Kaltreider, Becker, & Horowitz, 1984). Research
documents "a significant association between father loss and depression" (Barnes &
Prosen, 1985, p. 67). Furthermore, Heinicke concludes "the loss of a parent is of
particular importance in the zero to five and ten to fourteen age intervals and is even
more important when the loss is a father" (cited in Barnes & Prosen, 1985, p. 67). Lyon
and Vanderberg (1989) associate unresolved childhood grief with introversion,
depression, and either an increased risk for extreme emotional withdrawal or
psychological dependency on their partner. Depression or dependency may impede
emotional intimacy, increasing the risk for marital discord.

Bronfenbrenner recognizes the significance of time, environment, and context,
maintaining the importance of seeing individuals as systems, bringing unique and
complex characteristics to their spheres. Bronfenbrenner’s holistic approach views the
human organism “as a functional whole, an integrated system in its own right in which

various psychological processes—cognitive, affective, emotional, motivational, and

19

social—operate not in isolation, but in coordinated interaction with each other” (1993, p.
4). Face-to-face interactions differ not only in context, but also due to individual
psychological processes.

Numerous researchers consider the intrapsychic processes of grief and loss
(Cheifetz, Stavrakakis, & Lester, 1989; DeSpelder & Strickland, 1982; Fulton, 1965;
Heinz, 1999; Worden, 1996). Research demonstrates an association between children
who experience parental loss and lower levels of self-esteem and self-efficacy (Worden,
1996). Bereaved children are prone towards depressed states and increased levels of
anxiety (Bowlby, 1980; Weller, Weller, Fristad, and Bowes, 1991). However, current
empirical research has not considered how the family as a microsystem adjusts with grief
and loss. This is a salient area for future research as during the grieving process the
family adapts and children evolve into new familial roles (e.g., child of a single parent or
parentification). These ecological transitions may be difficult since there is often little or
no preparation for these roles.

Developmental Influences on Grief Resolution. A child’s level of cognitive
development partially determines his or her understanding of death (Worden, 1996).
Siegel and Gorey (1994) believe that the concept of death may be too abstract for
children under three years old. Older toddlers (three years) may be capable of
understanding the “external fact of their loss and to experience the corresponding inner
changes.” From ages three to six, children have a limited understanding of death, but
generally do not comprehend that death is final. As age and abstract thinking progresses,

the seven or eight year old can come to terms with the finality of death and by ages ten or

20

eleven the causes of death can be understood and death is “perceived as final and
inevitable” (Berlinsky & Biller, 1982).

Wass (1984) applies specific aspects of Piaget’s developmental theory to a child’s
mourning process. During the Preoperational Thought stage (two to seven years), a child
recognizes the words death and dead, but does not understand the words’ meanings. The
subsequent stage, Concrete Operations (seven to twelve years), a shift occurs to more
logical thinking. Death is seen as irreversible, but confusion occurs in regard to the
emotions surrounding death (i.e. anger, despair, and depression). Within this stage, the
concept of death becomes more precise, specific, and factual (Silverrnan, 2000). In the
final stage, the Period of Formal Operations (twelve and up), there is a clearer, concrete
comprehension of death.

Regardless of developmental level, there are four typical stages within the grief
process. These stages are non-linear, may be concurrent, and individuals may move in
and out of different stages several times. Individuals may not either experience or master
every stage. Kubler-Ross (1983) developed a four-stage loss theory describing how the
terminally ill process impending death. These stages have often been applied to survivors
of a familial death. Kubler-Ross’ grief stages include denying the reality of the loss,
being angry with the deceased for dying, exhibiting a depressed mood over the
irreplaceable loss, and accepting the loss. Acceptance of parental loss often involves
internalization, the process where a person resolves internal conflict and moves on after
the loss (V aillant, 1985). Acceptance is evident when the child spends several days
without dwelling on the person, is able to realize pleasure as well as sadness, and

experiences normal, everyday frustrations (Roth, 1987).

21

While there are similarities in the way adults and children grieve, adults
eventually detach memories and hopes from the deceased, whereas children both accept
and avoid the reality of death (Siegel & Gorey, 1994). Children, within their cognitive
and emotional abilities, intermittently mourn, confront, and manage the emotional impact
of loss. Children mourn to the capacity of their current development, and then may
postpone further grief work until they reach a new developmental stage when
developmentally appropriate mourning will resume. Additionally, adulthood losses may
trigger unresolved childhood grief issues.

In mourning the deceased parent, children will acknowledge the loss, but will
attempt to keep the parent “alive” in their minds “because of their intense need to possess
a mother and father” (Siegel & Gorey, 1994, p. 67). Accordingly, Costa (1992)
emphasizes the need for children to detach as well as identify with (or remain
constructively loyal to) the deceased. The paradox of letting go while holding on at times
gives way to reunion fantasies (subconscious attempts to simultaneously keep the
deceased a part of the concrete world). Reunion fantasies, fear of abandonment, anger,
depression, and physical ailments (Worden, 1996) coupled with a decreased available
support system, can motivate a family to seek assistance during the grieving process.

Garbarino (1983) suggests “people are much more likely to perceive professional
help as relevant and to seek it when severe personal impairment or stress is present” (p.
15). Oftentimes, bereaved children and families seek therapy as a support during
mourning. An immediate task for the therapist working with bereaved families is to
normalize the worry, stress, anger, and physical (somatic problems, tenseness, loss of

appetite etc.) problems affecting the family. Children should be allowed to grieve in their

22

own way without being cast into a mold of “grief process.” DeSpelder (1982) believes
that it critical to acknowledge and accept a children’s feelings surrounding parental death
by affording them a place to talk, cry, and work out grief. It is important to promote
effective communication skills so family members may reciprocally express, understand,
and validate emotional needs. Burleson (1994) stresses the importance of receiving
significant comforting messages that reflect and support emotional concerns. Siegel and
Gorey (1994) believe “bereaved children need an environment in which they feel free to
communicate their thoughts and fantasies about the parent’s death” (p. 68). Open
communication allows for developmentally appropriate discussions about death,
eliminating harboring misconceptions. Helping children tell their own stories in order to
process grief and loss issues may be an effective tool to establish these conversations.
Sedney, Baker, and Gross (1994) believe that telling stories may assist individuals to
ascribe meaning to their loss while providing emotional relief. This concurs with White
and Epston’s (1994) theory that one may story her or his life in order to find meaning in
experience.
Conceptual Map Narrative

The purpose of this study was to listen to children’s stories within a
phenomenological, participatory-action research context. Children were guided in
constructing a narrative account, or Biblionarrative, about their grief experience. After
obtaining a parent’s or guardian’s consent, the researcher met privately with the child
aged nine to twelve who had lost a parent within the past thirty-six months. First, the
researcher established rapport by chatting with the child (e.g., asking about a favorite toy)

and briefly describing the project. The researcher then asked the child for her or his

23

verbal consent to participate in the study. Subsequently, the researcher discussed the
child’s personal grief history and encouraged the child to describe his or her experience
before and after the death of his or her parent. The researcher asked appreciative
questions (described in Chapter Three) in order to guide the conversation to include data
related to the research questions. At the same time, the researcher introduced prompts
such as lined paper and a black pen, allowing the child to create her or his story as text.

Hearing a child’s story and assisting the child to create a Biblionarrative, or an
autobiographical account of parental bereavement, provided an avenue to better
understand a child’s grief process. Figure 2 illustrates how the concepts of HET,
Postmodern Social Constructionism, and Biblionarrative influence the parentally
bereaved child. HET’s three environments provide background support for the project.
All three environments may or may not be evident in the child’s story. For example, the
child may include either the natural/physical or human built environment as the setting
for her or his story.

Nestled in and reciprocally interacting with the ecological environments (shown
by an embedded smaller rectangle connected with a bi-directional arrow), is Postmodern
Social Constructionism (PSC). The philosophical paradigm of PSC supports a subjective
interpretation of the grief experience, specific to the child’s context and her or his
relationships.

The narrative framework is situated within PSC. Narratives are formed within
interpersonal relationships such as the dialogue between the child and researcher. These

conversations assist in organizing the experience of parental death. These scripts are an

24

 

'Ihree Environments

Story: Account used to express

thoughts, feelings & perceptions
(Riley, 1993) regarding parental death

 

     

  

Characteristics
of a Parentally
Bereaved Child

 

A Child’s Own Account adds to
Body of Knowledge
Regarding Grief and Loss
Issues

 

 

 

 

 

Frga' re 2. A Conceptual Map.

25

 

important empowerment tool and may affect current and future psychological functioning
(Schnitzer, 1993). The bi-directional arrows illustrate the reciprocal interaction between
Narrative and PSC. The child’s story, embedded within the larger narrative, is the
account used by the child to express his or her thoughts and emotions regarding the loss
of a parent.

The bereaved child, who is illustrated as a Bronfenbrenner-type circle in the
conceptual map, creates the narrative. The child, with the assistance of the researcher,
forms this story into a Biblionarrative, an autobiographical children’s literature book
regarding the death of his or her parent. The researcher collected these stories, which
simultaneously allowed the child’s story to be heard while adding to grounded theory
regarding parental bereavement. Both the transcribed interviews and the written stories
are considered as one triangulated data set. Chapter Three provides a detailed account of

the collection and analysis of the children’s stories.

26

Chapter 3
METHODOLOGY

Postmodern and Narrative theories promote a collaborative, non-judgmental
stance. While listening to and interacting with an individual’s story, the postmodernist
challenges what society may believe about bereaved children (e.g., the potential bias to
view single-parented children as “dysfunctional”) and what the children hold true about
themselves. Through language, including appreciative interview questions, the researcher
co-creates metaphor, meaning, and the direction of stories. A problem may not be
determined by preset societal standards and regulations; rather, evidence is known by
considering personal judgments and descriptions (Anderson, 1997). Because it is
unrealistic to distill rich discourse and language into quantifiable, testable hypotheses, a
qualitative approach is more effective in exploring children’s stories of grief. Whereas
quantitative methodology seeks to determine the existence of a relationship between
constructs, qualitative research explores themes by providing a rich description of a
certain phenomena To better understand how bereaved children story their grief
experience, it is important to use a method that allows the researcher to thoroughly
explore interacting concepts without reducing the process to a scientific inquiry of
empiricism. The context and subjectivity of bereaved children’s stories construct the
meaning. Qualitative methodology focuses on meaning and human transaction from the
participants’ point-of-view (Newfield, Sells, Smith, Newfield, & Newfield, 1996). This
approach fits the goals of this study, because the purpose includes expanding knowledge

and providing a deeper meaning of how bereaved children story their experience, while

27

hearing the participants’ stories. By qualitatively assessing data directly fiom a child’s
story, the child is afforded a voice that may otherwise be unheard (Alldred, 1998).

Formerly, research with children centered on what happened to them, instead of
what children had to say about their experiences. Because one of the goals of this study
is to hear grieving children’s own stories, it is important to maintain an awareness of the
potential power differential between the researcher and the participant. Attuning to the
child’s needs and not judging what the child communicates helps equalize the power
structure. Respecting the child by letting her or him tell a life story affords him or her the
opportunity to make sense of his or her experience. Thus, for this study, the
methodological framework is a qualitative, phenomenological, participatory-action
approach.
Participatory Action Research

Reason (1994) describes a benchmark of Participatory Action Research (PAR) as
a commitment to honoring the lived experience and knowledge of those involved. The
double aim of PAR is “to produce knowledge and action directly useful to a group of
people. . .and to empower people at a second and deeper level through the process of
constructing and using their own language” (Reason, 1994, p. 328). PAR is conducted in
an attempt to acquire useful knowledge about a social concern, leading to greater
understanding and possibly generating new solutions (Brown & Tandon, 1983). When
we listen to mourning children’s voices, we gain information that will both normalize
other grieving children’s experiences and generate ideas for improved interventions and
treatment strategies. Although this study’s methodology does not include directly

returning the data to the participants, the emphasis on a bereaved child’s eco-systems

28

implies that a “structural transformation” and an “improvement of the lives of those
involved” will ripple to those who interact and treat bereaved children (Hall, 1981, p. 7).
However, unlike traditional PAR, the children will not be expected to either lead social
change, nor will they be given full control over the research intervention (Brown &
Tandon, 1983), due to their developmental ability limits. Nonetheless, the critical
awareness that children gain through telling their stories is useful and may change the
dynamic of familial and social constructions regarding bereaved children.
Phenomenological Approach

While honoring bereaved children’s lived experiences regarding parental
bereavement, it is important to gain a deeper understanding of the dynamics of children’s
mourning. Phenomenology asks, “what is the structure and essence of experience of this
phenomenon for these people?” (Patton, 1990). Phenomenological research seeks to
bring our understanding of parental bereavement to a higher consciousness, refining and
deepening our knowledge regarding loss and bereavement from a child’s perspective.
Phenomenological inquiry studies points-of-interest from the “actor’s own perspective”
(Boss, Dahl, & Kaplin, 1996, p. 84). Bereaved children, or the participants in this study,
are the experts on mourning and they inform us about the complexities of grief.

Boss, Dahl, and Kaplin (1996) describe several basic assumptions that comprise
phenomenological research. One assumption is that although the truth may be out there,
for researchers it remains relative, tentative, illusive, and incomplete due its evolving
social construction. What we understand about childhood mourning may not remain
constant for others in different times and places. Another assrunption is that knowledge

can be derived from art. We can learn about children and their grief from their oral and

29

written stories. Although a reader or researcher interprets another’s story through his or
her own cultural lens, using the child’s own voice and words uncovers the child’s
perspective on grief and loss. Additionally, language, or a child’s story, is “a source of
information that is symbolically rich in meaning and information” (Boss, Dahl, & Kaplin,
1996, p. 86). Other assumptions that pertain to this project are that bias is inherent in all
research methods and the researcher cannot be firlly separated from her area of study.
Researcher as Instrument

In qualitative research, the researcher is the primary instrument (Boss, Dahl, &
Kaplan, 1996). Since it is impossible to be a totally disinterested or objective researcher,
it is important that assumptions and biases the investigator holds be stated clearly
(Newfield, Sells, Smith, Newfield, & Newfield, 1996). My interest in working with
bereaved children is twofold, both personal and professional. As a marriage and family
therapist, I have worked with children in a variety of clinical settings, including as a child
therapist at an elementary school. In the school setting, I worked with many children
who presented with grief and loss issues, including parental bereavement. During this
time, I became familiar with the profound sadness that children experience after the loss
of a parent. Observing children who had difficulty expressing their feelings verbally, I
wanted to encourage children to express their feelings in writing. Combining my skills
learned from my undergraduate degree in English Literature and my love for children’s
stories, I formed the idea of Biblionarrative. Additionally, working as a child therapist, I
gained skills in interviewing children, including joining, reflecting emotions as a less-

directive probe, and respecting children’s voices by hearing their words directly.

30

My interest in grief and loss issues predates my work as a clinician. When I was
fifteen years old my father passed away. I typically am reserved about my personal
experience, but I recognize that my parental bereavement shaped how I view the world
and others. I see parental bereavement as an important transition, offering the bereaved
child an opportunity to be resilient and to search for meaning regarding death and the
sadness it leaves in its wake. For me, finding meaning in parental bereavement has been
an unending search without concrete answers. I seek to understand how children
perceive their own circumstances, without judging them on pre-determined, rigid
standards. As a postmodern researcher and a researcher with a history of parental grief I
face a difficult task: Exploring others’ themes of parental bereavement without a biased
interpretation. Leaving behind all preconceived notions while hearing the children’s
voices is impossible; however, grounding my work in theory and reporting what the
children said reduces my personal bias in this study. For this project I see myself as a
conduit, a person telling the aggregate of others’ stories, letting the original voices be
heard. Moreover, I rely on my experience and my innate and trained skills working with
children to strengthen my role as a child-centered researcher.

Working with Children

Due to the potential of harming children who participate in research studies, it is
important to establish guidelines in order to protect children. Docherty and Sandelowski
(1999) state that there are few guidelines for interviewing children. Children format their
experiences into scripts that differ from how adults organize their experiences. Children
may need more explicit direction, since cues adults perceive are not as evident to children

(Alldred, 1998). Docherty and Sandelowski (1999) suggest that researchers working

31

with children should neither judge the child nor negatively react (which may influence
the story content), should assure the child of the confidentiality, and start the process with
general, rapport-building questions. Ross (1996) suggests that professionals address
children directly and let them answer with their own words in their own timing. It is also
important not to push the child into answering questions (Glaser, 1996; Pugh, & Selleck,
1996) or ask leading questions (Hall, 1996). Holmes (1998) advises that the researcher
be patient and allow herself to be “silly” and friendly in order to bond with the children
(p. 17).

Within a Postmodern Social Constructionism framework and with Participatory
Action Research and Phenomenological research, it is important to note power
differentials and explore any influences from the culture-at-large that may influence
interaction with the participants and data analysis. Schnitzer (1993) comments that the
same story is never told twice because of overt and subtle changes in the setting and the
listener. Telling a grief story to a young, white, female researcher may influence the
content due to the roles the child may ascribe to my gender, age, and ethnicity. For
example, a child may be more trusting of someone of the same gender or may be less
likely to share personal feeling to an unknown adult-figure. Although a child’s grief
story will always be a fluid and changing account, it is important to note the power
differential and establish trust through honesty and respect in order to uncover rich data.
Additionally, it is important that the research participants are ethically protected, in order
to avoid undue risk to an already vulnerable population. In accordance with university

policy, appropriate documentation was submitted to the University Committee on

32

Research Involving Human Subjects (UCRIHS) and standards such as strict
confidentiality were upheld throughout the data collection and analysis (see Appendix D).
Participants

The participants for this study were not drawn from a random sample; they
consisted of a purposive sample that included members with first-hand experience and
therefore offered rich information on the subject (Fetterman, 1989). Subjects were
recruited from Ele’s Place, a social support center for bereavement in Lansing, Michigan
and from the United School District #233 in Olathe, Kansas. Advertisements (see
Appendix C) that requested children to participate in this research project were given to
parents at the support group and via school counselors. Intensity sampling (Newfield et
a1, 1996) was intended to be sufficient to obtain saturation of crosscurrent themes and
meanings among the children’s stories (Marshall & Rossman, 1995). When these themes
became repetitive, or saturated, the sample was considered sufficient (Denzin & Lincoln,
1994; Fetterman, 1989; Newfield, Sells, Smith, Newfield, and Newfield, 1996).
For this study, bereaved children were defined as nine, ten, eleven, and twelve year-olds
who lost one parent in the past thirty-six months. Children in this age range were
included because of their intellectual ability for writing and for their developmental
capacity to understand death as universal and final. There were twelve subjects, seven
females and five males. Nine children’s fathers died and three children’s mothers died.
Six females in the study lost their fathers and one female lost her mother. Two of the
male participants’ mothers died and three of the male participants’ fathers died. There
were eleven Caucasian participants and one African-American participant. There were

four nine-year olds, six ten-year olds, and two twelve year olds. Time elapsed between

33

the death of the parent and the interview session ranged from four months to thirty-two

months, with the mean time being 14.25 months.

Participants’ Demographics

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sex Age Sex of Number of Race of
Deceased Months Child
Parent Since the
Death
Female 9 Father 1 6 White
Female 9 Father 1 0 White
Female 1 0 Father 32 White
Female 1 0 Father 6 White
Female 10 Father 10 White
Female 1 0 Father 4 White
Female 1 0 Mother 23 White
Male 9 Father 1 2 White
Male 9 Father 24 White
Male 10 Mother 6 White
Male 1 2 Father 8 African-
American
Male 1 2 Mother 20 White

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Table 3.1. Demographics of Participants

Sample Site

Data collection took place at Michigan State University’s Family and Child
Clinic, at the child’s school, or in the child’s home. The author collected the verbal and
written grief stories in a private room equipped with a table and two chairs. Lined paper
and a black ink pen were provided for the children to create their story. The sessions
lasted about one hour and were audio-recorded and transcribed verbatim, except for three

sessions where the equipment malfunctioned and copious notes were taken. All sessions

34

were conducted one-on-one with the child, but the parent or guardian did have the option
of remaining with her or his child as non-participant observers.
Procedure

Figure 3.2 outlines this project’s process of data collection. After gaining either
the parent’s or guardian’s consent (see Appendix A), parentally bereaved children were
given an opportunity to tell their grief story by writing a Biblionarrative, or a children’s
literature story regarding their parental bereavement. Zimmerman and Dickerson (1994)
describe the components of a grief story. The account must include a basic explanation
of circumstances of the death and any important events that occurred beforehand. It is
important for the child to describe the relationship with the deceased and her or his role in
events (e. g. when the child learned that his or her parent died). The role of the researcher
in gathering this information is to ask what happened, to clarify sequence, relationships
and feelings and to focus on adaptation and mastery instead of pathology (in order to
contain strong grief issues during the interview). A postmodern approach encourages a
focus on strengths in order to promote the development of empowering stories.
However, negative details of the children’s life story were not excluded as the researcher
asked open-ended questions (e.g., What are some of your early memories with your
family?) The story develops when the researcher asks direct questions, places the story
in context, and provides a safe atmosphere where the story can be told (Sedney, Baker, &
Gross, 1994; Zimmerman & Dickerson, 1994).

Before beginning the construction of the grief story, the researcher briefly
described the project and joined with the child. During this introductory time, verbal

assent was obtained, using developmentally appropriate language:

35

 

Parentally Bereaved Child:
Twelve 9— 12 year-olds who have lost one parent in the last 36 months

G

Non-Random Selection: Children participate in a
qualitative study to tell their grief story

Researcher elicits “story” by asking about environmental influences,
characters involved, setting, protagonist(s), and outcome

Bibilonarrative: Child Authors an Autobiographical
Children’s Literature Story about Parental Death

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Children’s Own Voices

Add to Existing Body of

Literature on Parentally
Bereaved Children

 

Analysis

 

 

 

 

of Stories

 

 

 

FiguLe 3.2. An Operational Map.

36

“I would like to learn about your life before and after your mother/father died. I

would like to hear your own story. I would like to use the stories we create to

help other children whose mom or dad have died. If you do not want to talk or

write about something, you do not have to, and anytime you want to stop we Will.

Is that all right?”

After the children agreed to participate in the project, the researcher would then begin the

interview.

Interview Questions. The purpose of the interview questions was to assist the

child to tell his or her story. The interview focused on mastery, sequence, relationships,

and feelings. This inquiry was derived in order to help answer the project’s research

questions. The following are the basic questions used, however specific questions were

added or altered during the interviews in order to gain a rich understanding of the child’s

unique situation.

Where do you live?

With whom do you live?

What do you do on a typical day?

What are some of your early memories with your family?

How would you describe yourself?

When do you feel happy/sad/mad/scared?

Do you go to a place of worship (i.e., church, mosque, or synagogue)?
How would you describe your friends?

What was your family like before your mother/father died?

What was your favorite thing to do with [the deceased parent]?

37

0 When did your parent die?

0 How did you find out about the death? Who told you?

0 How do you feel when you think about the parent who died?

0 What is your favorite memory of [the deceased parent]?

0 What do you like about your family now (surviving parent or siblings)?

0 Who do you talk to when you are sad/happy/scared?

- What do you think will happen to you in the next year?

0 What are you looking forward to?

After the bereaved child shared general story information, the researcher assisted
the child to write his or her story as text. The information gathered with the above
questions was used to help the child script a children’s literature story about his or her
parental bereavement (using the provided black ink pen and paper). A modified version
of Harold, Palmiter, Lynch, & Freedman-Doan’s (1995) storyboard served as an open-
ended template to gather the information for the Biblionarrative (see Figure 3.3).

Except for minimal prompts, the researcher did not direct the written story’s
creation. The child would receive a template cue, then would write as little or as much as
she or he wished. If the child appeared stuck (as evidenced by not writing for several
minutes), the researcher prompted story development with additional questions such as
“what happened next?” or “who else was involved?” The researcher also coached the
child to express feelings about the surrounding events.

After the child concluded the story, the researcher asked questions about the

differences in writing the story versus telling her or his story aloud. The researcher

38

 

Biblionarrative Storyboard

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

12:25]" Finding Current FD Perceptions
. . out about Situation: and
Indrvrdual the death Thoughts and Ex rations
pec
before the Feelings regarding the
death
“When I future
“ found out “Now when I
Before my think/feel “In the future 1
my mom/dad about my think. .
mom/dad died ,, mom/dad. . .”
died. . .” F ' ' ' V y y

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Figm 3.3. Template of Biblionarrative Storyboard

questioned which modality the child preferred and why the child liked either writing or
talking. After the child responded to these questions, the researcher thanked the child for
sharing his or her story and ended the session.

After the session, the interviews were transcribed verbatim. A copy of the written
story (the child kept the original) was placed behind the transcription. The oral and
written stories were considered one triangulated data set, except for some within case
comparisons that explored the similarities and differences between the oral and written
stories.

Data Analysis

Subsequent to conducting the interviews and collecting the Biblionarratives, the
researcher looked for patterns and themes, based on the proposed research questions.
Miles and Huberrnan (1994) suggest that the researcher becomes very familiar with the
data, soaking in the information by reading and re-reading the transcripts, notes and
Biblionarratives. Docherty and Sandelowski (1999) note the importance of returning

several times to the data, especially when working with children. This is another version

39

of soaking and validates the data (Fetterman, 1989). Constant comparative methods
(Marshall & Rossman, 1995) were combined with domain analysis and componential
analysis (Fetterman, 1989) to better understand the data’s content. In order to explore
themes and patterns, topics were coded by marking themes such as sadness, anger, or
strength in the margins of the transcribed interviews. Inductive (ideas generated from
reading the transcripts) and deductive (concepts gleaned from applying the review of
literature) themes, patterns, and categories emerged. The salient themes are displayed in
both figures and in narrative form in Chapter Four.
Validity and Generalizablity

The Postmodern and Phenomenological approach suggests that a rich description
from the participants’ points-of-view is a greater concern than traditional validity
standards. However, addressing concerns of validity is important in accurate research.
Grounding the research in the review of literature gives a foundation for a valid study.
Additionally, validity of a qualitative study depends partially on the thoroughness and
skill of the researcher (Miles & Huberrnan, 1994). To understand grief and loss issues
from the participant’s viewpoint, the researcher soaked (Fetterman, 1989; Miles &
Huberrnan, 1994) herself in the data by personally transcribing the interviews, coding the
data, and reading and rereading the transcripts (Docherty & Sandelowski, 1999).
Validity was increased by directly quoting the participants in the findings, allowing the
children’s own voices to be heard.

The validity of the study increases when saturation of the data occurs. Themes
and patterns in this study became repetitive after twelve children were interviewed and

wrote Biblionarratives. Utilizing twelve children’s reports on their parental bereavement

40

triangulated the data and amplified validity (Newfield, et al., 1996). Moreover, the use of
multiple methods, or methodological triangulation, to study a single problem helps assure
accurate data (Patton, 1990). Although multiple methods typically refers to combining
qualitative and quantitative methodologies, in this study methodological triangulations
refers to the dual data collection tools in this study, the interview and the written story.
Creating a joumal-type story permitted the participants a forum to write what they may
not have shared verbally. On the other hand, the interviews afforded the informants who
preferred not to write an opportunity for their voice to be heard. Used in tandem, the
interview and written story triangulated the themes and patterns of parental bereavement.
The small, purposeful sample (n=12) is not generalizable to a larger population.
The intent of this study was not to generalize findings to a specific group of parentally
bereaved children, rather the data will be used to augment the theory base and create new
ideas for treatment and intervention for those who work with mourning children
(described in Chapter Five). The findings of the children’s responses are detailed in

Chapter Four.

41

Chapter 4
FINDINGS
Background

After establishing confederate relationships with a leader at Ele’s Place and a
school counselor in the Olathe District School #233, the researcher attended several
parent meetings where the research project was introduced and parents were asked to talk
with their children to see if the children were interested in volunteering. Twelve children
volunteered and the sessions were scheduled at the parent’s convenience at Michigan
State University’s Family and Child Clinic, the child’s school, or the family’s home.
Before the sessions, the parents were given the consent form, which stated they were
allowed to act as non-participant observers. None of the parents attended the sessions.
One parent asked her daughter if she wanted the mother to stay, but before the child
answered the mother interjected that the daughter would “probably talk more” if the
parent were not around. None of the parents requested debriefing after the sessions or
asked me about the contents of the session. When her daughter was not present, one
parent asked if I believed that the loss of a parent caused irrevocable harm to a child’s
development. I responded that I believe children bounce back and are typically stronger
after surviving the loss of a parent.

During the interviews and constructing the written story, the children appeared to
be somewhat nervous as evidenced by jittery non-verbal cues and non-direct eye contact.
Most of the children appeared shy and hesitant to discuss intimate details regarding the
death of a parent. As children often need more direction than adults, specific questions

were asked. After the child’s answer, the researcher employed non-directive listening

42

skills; oftentimes prompting for more information by repeating a key word or phrase that
the child used. Although the answers were often brief, they were usually full of insight,
wit, and candor about feelings and thoughts surrounding the death of a parent.

Defining research questions was a fluid and dynamic process throughout the
interviews and analysis. Grounded Theory suggests that potential questions may be
altered during the course of research. As the study progressed, the questions became
more focused and refined (Raful & Moon, 1994). A question regarding how the children
story their experiences became more specific, moving from examining the “chronology”
of the stories to examining the beginning, middle (or main themes), and end of the story.
A question reflecting the children’s three main environments was narrowed to focus on
the natural and human built environments as the “setting” of the story and the
social/cultural environment as undercurrent influences in the story. A question regarding
the child’s individual characteristics (demographic and developmental variables) was
assumed into the data pertaining to the social/cultural environment, as the stories did not
supply sufficient information for the original question to be analyzed. Finally, as a result
of a spontaneous question during the first interview, a research question regarding the
children’s preferences for either telling or writing their story was added.

The following are the findings for the study’s research questions (as listed in
Chapter One):

Research Question #1 : Whatare the interaction_s between the parentally bereaved
children and their mgn enviromnents? Finding; The natural/physical and human built
environments were present in the children’s grief accounts although they were not

dominant forces within the stories. The social/cultural milieu played a supporting role in

43

the grief stories, mainly in terms of the children’s spiritual conceptualization of death and
gender roles (described below).

Resgmch Question #la: Wha_t_ are the settings of the stories; what role do the
natural/physical and human built environments have? Findings. Similar to the main
environments, the settings for the stories were present but were not dominant influences
in the children’s grief accounts. The children described the natural environment as a
setting for some of their early memories with their family. Many children recounted out-
of-doors activities such as taking camping trips, playing tag, having water gun fights, and
walking with the now-deceased parent. After their parental bereavement, two children
reported being scared of natural events such as thunderstorms. Some of the children
whose parents died of terminal illness reported that toxins in the natural environment
affected their parents’ health.

The ecological construct of time (Kantor, & Lehr, 1990), part of the natural
environment, is an important concept in bereaved children’s grief stories. The length of
time between the death of a parent and the interview ranged from four months to thirty-
two months. In general, the closer the death to the time of the interview the more likely
the child would focus the story on the details surrounding the death (such as the time
spent at Hospice or who told the child that the parent had passed away). The greater the
time between the parental death and the interview, the more likely the child would
discuss his or her feelings surrounding the death and subsequent loss. The girl who lost
her father four months before the interview and the girl who lost her father thirty-two
months before the interview both reported that they did not like talking about the death.

However, the father who passed away nearly three years ago was abusive to the

44

participant and her family. The female who lost her mother about two years ago (the
second greatest interval of time) was very emotional during the interview, and only
briefly described the scenes that involved her mother. However, this could be attributed
to a daughter’s mother loss rather than the amount of the time elapsed. The boy who lost
his mother twenty months before the interview was expressive when talking about his
mother and reported being able to talk to his father and his step-mother (married five
months before the interview) about his feelings. This boy is the only subject whose
surviving parent had remarried or established a permanent romantic relationship. Other
children in the study reported hoping that their mothers would find other mates in the
near future.

Time, measured in the ages of the children, did not significantly affect the grief
stories. The majority of the children were ten years old. However, the nine and twelve
year-olds stories did not notably vary from children aged ten. As the subjects fall into
one developmental bracket, not much variance was expected among the different ages.
Children in this age range are able to be self-reflexive and can acknowledge their feelings
and cognitions (Crain, 2000). When writing the Biblionarrative, there were few
differences among children in their use of vocabulary and writing structure. Some of the
younger writers wrote more extensively than the older participants, while some of the
older participants wrote pages. A few of the children (of scattered ages) reported that
they felt uncomfortable because they were not skilled writers (discussed below).

The human-built environment was also evident in the children’s grief stories.
Similar to the natural environment, many of the children’s favorite memories were placed

in the context of human built environments such as the arcade, movie theatre, and

45

restaurants. Additionally, human-made buildings such as the hospital or Hospice House
were present in the children’s grief accounts. One girl detailed the relaxing spa room at
Hospice House, describing the waterfall, Jacuzzi and sunset mural. Other parts of the
created environment, .such as constructed modes of transportation (e.g., ambulances),
were mentioned in some of the grief accounts.

Research Question #lb: What social/cultural influencegare evident in the stories?
Findings. The children’s spiritual concepts were an important influence in their grief
stories. Six of the twelve the children reporting not going to a place of worship either
prior to or since their parent died. The other children reported going to a church, but
were unsure exactly what the religion believed about what happens when people die.
When asked about the meaning of death, the participants, concurrent with their
developmental level, responded that death was final and inevitable (Berlinsky & Biller,
1992). For one, death meant, “either to be killed or to disappear and never come back.”
Another described death as when “someone dies and they are not here anymore.” For
another death was “your time to go. . .to heaven or down there.” Many of the children
believed in an afterlife. A girl stated that after people die, “they get buried and their
spirits leave [for heaven] and all that is left is a skeleton.” Another stated when people
die they “go to heaven, a happy place.” Two of the informants said that their parents
were better off in heaven, especially since they were no longer suffering. A boy
described heaven as whatever a person wants it to be; you have “your own private space
which you can change just by thoughts.” One son continued a spiritual relationship with

his deceased mother by praying to her. He stated, “Everyday I would pray to her before I

46

went to bed and it made me feel better.” Additionally, many of the children hoped to see
their parents again in heaven.

Death as a taboo subject in modern culture (Myers, 1986) was evident as many of
the children reported not typically wanting to discuss the death. Moreover, gender roles
may contribute to both sexes reluctance to talk to others (either within or outside of the
family) about their experience (Worden, 1996). In my clinical experience, I noticed that
silent girls internalize hurtful emotions. Likewise, some boys may not talk about their
feelings because they may fear shame regarding not being in-control of strong emotions.
Both boys and girls in this study were reserved about talking about their grief. One child
stated, “I don’t really like talking about my dad.” This child wrote, “I miss my father a
lot and I don’t like to talk about him and I don’t like my family to talk about him.”
Another girl scripted, “I felt like I needed to say something, but I never did because I
thought it would be weird to just bring it up. . .I don’t really like to talk about it.” When
the researcher asked if a mourning child talked to her friends about her grief, she
answered “no.” Many of the children reported not talking to others about their parental
bereavement. When asked “to whom to you talk when you are sad?” one response was,
“I don’t talk to anybody.” One girl reported that she scribbled her emotions on paper and
another girl reported that she talked to her teddy bear.

The only female participant whose mother passed away was the most overtly
emotional during the interview. This girl calmly answered the early questions about her
home and school, but when asked to describe what she missed most about her mother (the
first direct mention of the deceased parent in the interview), the girl burst into tears and

sobbed so hard that she could not continue talking. The other mother-loss in the study

47

was a boy and he showed no more or less emotion during the interview than the other
participants. He matter-of-factly described the details of his mother’s suicide and how
the police informed him of her death. None of the participants whose fathers passed
away cried during the interview.

Research Question #2: How does the child story the events surrounding the death
of the parent? Findings. The children’s verbal and written grief stories varied from a
brief description of the essential facts to detailed accounts. One child never answered in
more than a five-word phrase while another gave answers that transcribed to over a page
of single-spaced text. Children combined what factually happened (as they perceive and
remember it) with how they emotionally experienced the events. Children recounted the
months before the death of a terminally ill parent or described their surprise of finding
out about a sudden death. The children whose parents were terminally ill (brain cancer,
stomach cancer, breast cancer) tended to have longer accounts as they told about the
times they spent at Hospice House and what it was like for the ambulance to arrive on
multiple occasions to resuscitate their dying parent. Children whose parents died
unexpectedly typically gave briefer explanations of the death. One boy said that his
father “went to the bathroom and had a rope.” Another boy said that a policeman came to
his father’s house and said that his mother had committed suicide. A girl whose father
died of a sudden aneurysm said only that her father went to the hospital and when she
arrived her grandfather told her that her father had died.

There were mixes of children who gave long interviews, but wrote short stories,
children who gave brief interview answers, but wrote longer stories and children who

gave both brief verbal and written descriptions. The girl who gave the longest answers to

48

the interview questions wrote the shortest story. The boy who kept his answers brief also
wrote a brief story. Many of the subjects gave shorter descriptions to the verbal
questions, yet would write pages. Key phrases or memories were repeated nearly
verbatim in the child’s verbal account and the written story. Some written accounts
contained information not found in the interview. For example, one girl never spoke of
money issues, yet she wrote of family financial concerns, describing that her family
continues to receive medical bills from her mother’s long-term illness. She wrote that her
mother was the primary breadwinner and after her death the family does not have as
much money.

Research Question #2a: What_are the beginnings to the stories? Findings. As
prompted by the researcher, the children told of their favorite memories. Most of the
children told and wrote of what they liked to do with their deceased parent. These action-
oriented events included fun activities such as watching movies, going to the arcade, and
having a water-gun fight. One child stated, “we played games and we’d talk and I’d
play.” Additionally, as a prologue to the grief story, the children described their deceased
parents’ attributes. One child wrote that her father was “firll of energy” and she
“remember[s] his voice.”

Most of the children described not only the good times with their deceased parent,
but also how the family was happier before the death. For example, one child wrote “my
family was always kind and happy before my dad died.” However, not all stories’
beginnings were happy. Two children described distant relationships with fathers who
were estranged before their deaths. A boy wrote that he only saw his father occasionally,

but when they did see each other they had fun go-carting, fishing, and snow-mobling. A

49

female recounted the times her abusive father broke promises to her and another instance
when he tried to “stab [her] kittens.”

Research Question #2b: What are some of the main themes of the stories?
Findings. Both boys and girls expressed their emotions in the stories. These emotions
are detailed in a cross-case matrix (see Figure 4.1). Miles and Huberman (1994) describe
the cross-case matrix as a way to cluster, order, sort and compare salient themes. These
themes include the children’s verbal and written descriptions about being sad, mad,
scared, and happy, oftentimes feeling these emotions simultaneously. One child reported
that he is “sometimes happy and sometimes sa ” when he drinks of his deceased parent.
A girl stated that she laughs and she cries when she thinks about her father because she
misses him and she remembers the fun they had together.

The dominant emotional theme in the stories was sadness. Children stated that “I
feel pretty sad” and “I cry a little bit.” Additionally, one boy stated, “I was very sad. . .I
was very hurt to hear my dad died because he was like a part of me. . .I cried because I
missed him so much.” A girl said, “when my dad died, I felt left behind. . .I feel sad when
I think about things we did.” This girl also wrote about feeling “left behind.” Another
girl stated that when she thinks of her father that she likes to “rest most of the time” and
she likes “to sleep.” Specifically, one child reported feeling sad when she was alone and
another talked about being sad when she went to a daddy-daughter dance after her father
died.

Children are sad when their parents die, even if the parent was abusive or
estranged. These children miss their parent; however, their grief is tempered by the

quality of relationship that the child had with the now-deceased parent before the parent’s

50

Parentally Bereaved Children’s Report of Salient Emotions

 

Interview

Written Story

 

“Sometimes happy and sometimes sad.”

“I feel sad and happy at the same

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[instead].”
“I usually do arts.”

 

EMixed “When you think about your mom, how do time and I. . .cry and laugh at the
motions you feel? . ,,
--“Both happy and sad.” same time.
“I wasn’t real happy at first. Usually you
Feeling get mad and you mumble stuff like, ‘I hate
An / you’ and I would get upset and. . .say ‘I “When my dad died I felt very sad
Mild), don’t like you’ and stuff like that.” and very mad.”
“I feel mad, but I know I shouldn’t
because it is selfish.”
“When I think about my dad—most of the
time.”
“I feel pretty sad.” “I was very sad. . .I was very hurt to
“I just cry a little bit.” hear my dad died because he was
Feeling “I cried.” . . like a part of me. . .I cried because 1
Sad “I like to rest most of the time. I like to missed him so much.”
sleep.” “When my dad died, I felt left
“When do you feel most sad?” behind. . .I feel sad when I think
--“When I’m alone.” about things we did.”
--“When we went to the daddy-daughter
dancgafter father died].”
“I think that me or a family member could “I . .
catch [stomach cancer].” saw monsters 88.th my mom rn
“When I have bad dreams.” my sleep. ' 'I cried rn.my sleep and
“When I go somewhere and [the surviving woke With a soggy p ’rllow. My lrfe
Fear . , . ,, then was way down.
parent] rsn twrth me. “After m dad died I was scared
“My [primary caregivers] went to the store because 1y was ve lonel and I
and they didn’t leave a note and I didn’t ry y ,,
know where they were.” could not have hrm there for me.
“When my mom told me he had died
I didn’t want to believe her, but then
the truth slowly sunk in and I knew I
Denial would never see him again.”
“My dad came over and got me and
told me that she died. I thought he
was lying, but he wasn’t.”
“When my mom and I spend time alone.”
Feeling [Efraityaggtfinmfimt 3:11:11? “When I think about my dad I feel
Happy g happy because I love my dad.”

 

M Cross-Case Matrix of Emotions

51

 

death. One boy described that the only time he misses his father is on the weekend
because he no longer gets to go fishing with him like he used to during the father’s bi-
monthly visitation. Some of the children expressed ambivalent feelings or feelings of
relief that their parents had died. The boy who stated he missed fishing with his father
also expressed that he really didn’t miss his father that much because he was used to not
seeing him. A girl stated that before her father died her family had “terrible lives.” She
stated that she was sad that her father died, but she was glad that he didn’t hurt her
mother anymore.

In addition to feeling sad, many children expressed anger about the death of a
parent. On child wrote that when his father died he felt “very sad and very mad.” A
female stated, “I feel mad, but I know I shouldn’t because it is selfish.”

Many children expressed a general anxiety and a fear of being alone or abandoned
after the death of a parent. A boy wrote that he “saw monsters eating [his deceased
parent] in his sleep.” Many children expressed fear that another family member would
die. One girl stated that she is scared when she thinks that “me or a family member could
catch [stomach cancer].” Several of the children reported being scared of being alone or
being left alone. A boy recounted his fear when his primary caregivers went to the store
and did not leave a note. He stated he was frightened because he was unsure of where
they were and he did not know if they would return. Another child stated that she is
scared when she goes somewhere and the surviving parent is not with her.

Co-morbid with fear, children worried about significant others in their lives. A
boy was worried that his grandmother wouldn’t get medicine and money since his father

was no longer there to care for her. Another boy worried about the responsibility of

52

taking care of his paralyzed father. A girl worried about how her father could support the
family on his low-income job.

The informants often reported denying the reality of their parents’ death at the
time they were told. One child wrote, “when my mom told me he had died I didn’t want
to believe her, but then the truth slowly sunk in and I knew I would never see him again.”
One boy recounted that when the policeman told him that his mother had died he did not
believe him. Additionally, a boy reported that when his surviving father told him that his
mother died, he thought his father was “lying.”

In addition to times of sadness, anger, and fear, children also reported being
happy. One child wrote, “when I think about my dad I feel happy because I love my
dad.” Two children stated that they are happy when they are not thinking about their
deceased parents. They stated that they are doing something instead, usually “arts” or
“talking and stuff.” One child stated that she feels happy when she and her surviving
parent “spend time alone.” All the children described “normal activities” such as going
to school, playing outside, watching television, and enjoying movies. For example, many
of the participants described a typical day as including going to school, coming home,
playing games and doing homework.

Research Question #2c: What are the conclusions to the §tories? Finding; The
participants in the study reported that they continue to be sad, yet they are coping and
moving-on after the death of their parents (see Figure 4.2). The participants express that
they have begun their search for meaning and rely on spiritual answers to conclude their
stories. In the conclusion of her written story, a girl wrote, “I feel still a little bit sad and

still mad (well make that a lot sad), but I can do my work at school.” Another child

53

Bereaved Children’s Perception of the Future

 

Interview

Written Story

 

Moving on/
Coping

“I’ve gotten used to being without
him.”

“I know she is in a good place and
I’m happy that she isn’t

suffering. . .she had to suffer for a
long time.”

“I feel still a little bit sad and still
mad (well make that a lot sad), but
I can do my work at school...”
“Now I’m not as sad because I
know I’ll see him again someday
and we’ll have even more good
times.”

“I feel better and know she is in a
good place. Now I feel like it is
unfair and why did it have to
happen to me. I know my mom
would want me to get on with my
life so I am.”

“After she died, I realized that she
was in a better place, she was
watching down on us and that
some day I would see her again.”

 

What kids
think will
happen next

 

 

“I’ll get over his death a little
more.”

“I think the ghost of my daddy may
come to me, maybe”

“I think someone else might die.”
“I might get taller.”

“I think I’ll grow up and become a
vet. My mom liked horses.”

 

“I will be over it, but I will still
remember him and he will be fine.”
“My family will change just a little
bit. . .My mom will have a new
boyfriend and [we will all] get
older”

“I don’t know what will happen
next. I would like to see my dad as
a ghost.”

“I wonder if I’m going to a foster
home.”

“I think we will still think about
my da .”

“I think my grandma might die. . .I
think my sister and I are both very
talented singers and might have a
future singing.”

“I think my family might start to
talk about him more and get along
better.”

“I think another family member
might die or something really bad
might happen.”

 

Figare 4.2. Cross-Case Matrix of the Future.

54

 

wrote, “I’m not as sad because I know I’ll see him again someday and we’ll have even
more good times.” A third child scripted, “I feel better and know she is in a good place.
Now I feel like it is unfair and why did it have to happen to me. I know my mom would
want me to get on with my life so I am.” Similarly, a boy wrote, “After she died I
realized that she was in a better place, she was watching down on us and that someday I
would see her again.” A girl stated that she knew her mother was “in a good place. And
that she [wasn’t] suffering. . .she had to suffer for a long time.”

Children predict that they will eventually move on from intense mounting. A
child predicted that she will “get over his death a little more.” Another child wrote about
being “over it” but will “still remember him and he will be fine.” Additionally, one child
stated that life is moving on and that he’s “gotten used to being without him.”

Many of the children were unsure as to what will happen next. One child wrote,
“1 don’t know what will happen next. I would like to see my dad as a ghost.” Another
child questioned if he would have to go to a foster home. A few children worried that
someone else may die. One wrote, “I think my grandma might die.” Similarly, another
scripted, “I think another family member might die or something really bad might
happen.” Additionally, a child stated, “I think someone else might die.”

The children also noted future changes in their family. A girl wrote that her
“family will change just a little bit. . . [her] mom will have a new boyfriend and [they will
all] get older.” A boy speculated that his mother will “find a new husband” and that
would make his family “better.” Another wrote, “I think my farme might start to talk
about him more and get along better.” Additionally, a child concluded her

Biblionarrative stating, “I think we will still think about my dad.”

55

Many of the children predicted positive developmental changes. For the young
participants, their natural optimism overcomes the sadness of death. One girl said that
she will advance to fourth grade and will try to get good grades. A boy stated that he
would be taller next year. Another boy stated that he will “grow up and become a vet”
since his deceased mother liked horses. A girl wrote that she and her sister would grow
up and become talented singers. Many children hoped for relatives to come visit or for
vacations, such as going to Disneyland.

Research Question #2d: Who are significatcnt chgrctga in the story? Finding;
The children reported many other characters being involved in their grief story (see
Figure 4.3). The surviving parent, siblings, grandparents, extended family, teachers,
friends, hurtful peers, and church and support groups all played an active role in the
children’s verbal stories. Oftentimes the children would speak of others, but would not
include them in their writings. The written accounts focused on self, whereas the oral
accounts were more likely to include significant others.

Most of the time the children reported that the surviving parent was someone they
could talk to about grief issues. When the researcher asked, “Do you have someone you
could talk to about your parent dying?” all save one of the participants who lost their
fathers responded “my mom.” One boy stated that he would tell his mother that he
missed his father and that he wanted to see his father again. However, in one case, a boy
reported that he really did not see his surviving, non-custodial mother frequently after the
death of his father. A girl whose mother passed away stated that she talked to her father

about her feelings, but she was unable to explain exactly what she talked about or how he

56

Bereaved Children’s Account of Others Involved in their Life

 

Interview

Written Story

 

Surviving
Parent

“What is something you like about
your mom?” —“Almost Everything!”
“Do you have someone you could talk
to about your dad dying? —-“My
mom”

“Do you see your mom?

--“I really don’t see her much.”

 

Grand-
parents

“I like my grandma because she is
nice and she helps me...”

You live all the time with your
grandparents?”

--“Yes.”

 

Extended
Family

“My uncle takes care of us a lot.”

“I have a cousin who is like a brother
to me.”

“The only time I’m happy is when my
cousin. . .comes to play.”

My aunt, uncle, brother and mother
and I made a circle and my aunt told
us about dad’s death.

 

Teachers

“Whom do you talk to if you’re sad?”
--“If I’m at school I talk to my
teacher.”

 

Friends

“I have my best friend.”
“Do you ever talk to your friends
about your dad dying?” --“No.”

“After a while everybody started to
become their selves again”

“I have friends to tell me I am all right
and I don’t have to worry now.”

 

Hurtful Peers

“Two people tease me. They call me
names. . .Crybaby, because I cried at
my dad’s funeral.”

“Sometimes I get teased.”

“Some people pity me, some don’t. I
like the ones who don’t.”

 

Changed
Relation-
ships

 

 

“I had a lot of friends, but they

left. . .back then I had a lot of friends—
I lived with my daddy. Nowadays, I
don’t have any friends because he is
gone?’

“It seemed like they were always
going ‘awahh’ and they didn’t have
high spirits. . .They felt sorry for me
half the time...l wanted to be treated
like regular—like they did when
daddy was alive, but it totally
changed.”

 

“My family is separated. My mom
won’t let me see my aunts, uncles,
cousins, and grandma.”

 

Figare 4.3. Cross-Case Matrix of Others Involved in Bereaved Child’s Life

57

 

would verbally comfort her. A boy whose mother died said that he probably wouldn’t
talk to his surviving father about his experiences; he stated that he would not talk to
anybody. Another boy whose mother died said that he would talk to his father or to his
new stepmother. He stated that he would tell them “what [he] was feeling.”

Many of the informants stated that their siblings were an active part of their lives.
A girl whose mother died stated that she often talks to her sister and they eat dinner
together nightly while their father works. She stated that they typically watch television
during supper, but at other times they talk about the death of their mother. Another girl
whose father died talked about how her brother can be a pest, but she takes care of him
by playing with him when their mother is busy and by making sure that water doesn’t get
into his ear tubes during bath-time. Two sisters, both participants in the study, each
spoke of how they talk to each other about the death of the father. A boy whose older
sister is developmentally delayed never mentioned his sister in the interview or his
writing. The other four boys were only children.

The informants reported that grandparents and extended family members are
important characters in their grief story. Many of the participants stated that extended
family members were present when they learned of their parent’s death. A girl wrote,
“My aunt, uncle, brother, and mother and I made a circle and my aunt told us about dad’s
death.” Another girl stated that her grandfather told her that her father had died while at
the hospital. Additionally, for many of the children, the extended family remains active
in their lives after the parent’s death. One participant stated that she likes her grandma
because “she is nice and she helps [her].” One boy continues to reside with his paternal

grandparents after the death of his father. A female father-loss participant stated that her

58

uncle helps take care of her family. A girl stated that her aunt let the recently bereaved
family live with her. A boy and a girl both stated that they have cousins who are
emotionally close and with whom they have fun.

In addition to familial support, the children also stated that teachers and friends
were important. When asked, “whom do you talk to if you’re sad?” one informant stated,
“If I’m at school I talk to my teacher.” One girl stated that she would talk to her teacher,
but not her fiiends about being sad regarding the death of her father. Additionally, other
girls stated that they would not talk to their friends. One female participant did state that
she would talk to her fiiends about her father dying. She echoed this in her
Biblionarrative account stating, “I have friends to tell me I am all right and I don’t have
to worry now.”

Not all of the relationships in the grief accounts were positive. Many of the
participants recounted hurtful interactions with peers. Some of the children reported
being teased about their parental bereavement. One stated, “Sometimes I get teased.”
Another stated, “Two people tease me. They call me names. . .Crybaby, because I cried at
my dad’s funeral.” A boy wrote that “some people pity me, some don’t. I like the ones
who don’t.”

Many significant relationships changed after the parent-death. A girl stated that
“It seemed like [people at church] were always going ‘awahh’ and they didn’t have high
spirits. . .They felt sorry for me half the time. . .I wanted to be treated like regular—like
they did when daddy was alive, but it totally changed.” Many children experienced
secondary losses of estranged friendships or distancing among relatives after the parent

loss. A girl stated that she lost fiiends after her father died. One participant wrote that

59

his “family is separated” because his mother would not let him see his paternal aunts,
uncles, cousins, and grandmother after his father passed away.

Research Question #3: Do the children prefer tellifl or writing their stories?
Findings. After asking the interview questions, I told the children that we were going to
write a story about their lives. I handed each child a blue notebook, and let her or him
choose an ink pen. Many of the children questioned if they should put their name on the
first page or if they should write a title. I told them this was their story and they may
chose if they wanted a title and author page. Using the Biblionarrative storyboard, I
informed the children that the first part of the story was to be about what their life was
like before their mother or father died. Several of the children started writing
immediately. A few of the children held the pen to the paper and thought for minutes
about what to write. If the child did not begin writing within approximately two minutes,
I would suggest they could start a sentence by writing, “before my dad/mom died...”
Three of the children asked me a question (e.g., “writing what it was like?”) before
starting. I responded, stating that they were free to share their favorite memory or they
could describe a day when their parent was alive. Children typically started a new page
when I explained the next segment of the storyboard. Some children titled each page in
chapter form, while others started new paragraphs without starting new pages. While
creating the Biblionarrative, most of the children would ask how to spell a word or
words. 1 would remind them that I was unconcerned with grammar, and I would tell
them how to spell the word. Many of the children scribbled out words or phrases and two

of the children asked if I had Whiteout to cover the mistake.

60

Subsequent to writing the story, I asked the children about their reaction to
writing the Biblionarrative. Participants reported enjoying both writing and talking about
their grief and loss experiences (see Figure 4.4). Four of the twelve children preferred
talking about their experiences. These participants stated the logistical differences
between telling a story versus writing about what happened. One student commented that
it was harder to write because he didn’t know “how to write many words.” Another
stated, “Talking is easier!” Additionally, another stated that talking is easier because you
can “just say it” and you “don’t have to write everything down.” One girl qualified her
preference to talk, stating that she would only talk “with the people I really trust with my
secrets.”

Two of the informants were divided on if they preferred writing or talking. One
reported preferring talking and writing equally. Another stated that “sometimes it is
easier to talk about it and sometimes it is easier to write.”

Six of the participants enjoyed writing their grief story. One stated, “I think it is
much easier to write down than actually talk and say it.” Similarly, another stated, “I like
writing. . .because it would be really hard talking and stuff, but writing is better for me
because I can explain it easier.” Another added, “It felt really good to get a lot more
information on paper.” One girl reported that she would “rather write it down and have
someone read it than to have to talk about it.” Another said the benefit of writing a story
is that “I don’t have to tell people a lot of stuff. . .I can just write what I want.” A girl
reported that writing gets her anger out and it helps her “feel better and not cry all the
time.” Finally, a boy reported that he would remember his experiences because he wrote

about them.

61

Children’s Perceptions of Talking and Writing About Grief

 

Talking

Writing

 

 

“Which do you prefer?”
-“To Talk”

“What makes it better to
talk?”

--“Because I don’t know
how to write many words.”

 

“Same.”

 

 

“I think it is much easier to
write down than actually
talk and say it.”

 

 

 

 

“Talking! You can just say
it and you don’t have to
write everything down.”

 

“Sometimes it
is easier to
talk about it
and sometimes
it is easier to
write.”

 

“It felt really good to get a
lot more information on

paper.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Talking is easier!”

 

 

 

“...with the people I really
trust with my secrets...I tell
them.”

 

 

Figare 4.4. Cluster Display of Talking and Writing

62

“I’d rather write it down
and have someone read it
than to have to talk about
it.”

 

 

“I don’t have to tell people
a lot of stuff...I canjust
write what I want.”

 

 

“It helps me [to write]
because it gets all my
anger out and. . .it helps me
feel better and not cry all
the time.”

 

 

“I like writing. . .because it
would be really hard
talking and stuff, but
writing is better for me
because I can explain it
easier.”

 

 

 

“Now I’ll remember
because I know that I
wrote it.”

 

 

In order to allow the children’s own voices to be heard and to increase the validity
of the findings, the researcher reported the data using the children’s own words. After
listening to children speak about parental death, it is important for the phenomenological
researcher to create useful ideas from the data, explore the meaning that children give to
their stories, and understand the context in which the story is told (Hess & Handel, 1967).
Chapter Five discusses salient themes found in the data, suggests implications for
clinicians, details the use of Biblionarrative as a clinical intervention, addresses strengths
and limitations of the study, examines the validity and reliability, explores future areas

for research.

63

Chapter 5
DISCUSSION
The findings in Chapter Four were based on direct quotes and low inference

reporting of the children’s grief stories in order to describe the phenomena of parentally
bereaved children’s experiences. In contrast, this chapter employs Grounded Theory
methodology to explore the relationships of concepts (Glaser, 1978) by conceptualizing
and interpreting the stories, comparing and integrating them with Chapter Two’s review
of literature and theoretical base.

The stories in this study echo much of the previous literature that describes
children’s experiences with parental grief. In both the interviews and Biblionarratives,
children expressed a variety of emotions and feelings, suggesting the non-linear and
complex stages of grief. Telling a life-story is a way to access hidden emotions
(Schnitzer, 1993), and many children narrated accounts that they seldom express to
others. Many of the children stated that they rarely talk about their grief story and one of
the participants exclaimed that she only tells people that she trusts.

It is well documented that children are sad when their parent dies (Worden,
1996) and sadness was the dominant theme in all of the participants’ stories. One girl
summarized her paradigm by stating that “just the fact that [her parent] died” colored her
world in sorrow. The children expressed their sadness with varied behaviors, reporting
both internal and external symptoms of sadness. Some children spoke of wanting to
sleep a lot, while others reported crying.

Concurrent with sadness, the children narrated their view that the world was

unsafe and they had a fear of abandonment (Costa, 1992; Walsh & McGoldrick, 1998).

64

The participants spoke and wrote about the fear of being alone or having another family
member die. Several of the children reported that they are afraid of natural events, such
as thunderstorms. These fears are typical of a normally developing child, but this fear
may be augmented by the anxiety of seeing the world as unsafe. Other than in passing
references, the children did not include the natural or human built environment as part of
their grief stories. This may suggest that their basic needs are being met (Maslow, 1954),
and thus are in physical place where they may deal with grief issues (e. g. fear of not
having a sense of belonging).

It is not surprising that the children talked and wrote about anger, denial, and
anxiety experienced after the death of a parent. However, a concept in the participants’
grief stories that is not in the review of literature is that a bereaved child’s sadness
correlates to the quality of relationship the child had with the parent before the parent’s
death. Children who were abused by their now deceased parent balance the sadness they
feel over the loss of the parent with relief that they or other family members are no longer
being banned. Two children in this study were estranged from their deceased parents
before the death and both children’s mourning differed from other participants in the
study. These two children appeared more detached from the grief process, stating that
they were used to not seeing their fathers. Moreover, the girl who had been mistreated by
her estranged father stated that she was glad he could no longer hurt her family.

Due to the increasing divorce and separation rate and the rising number of
children born to non-married couples, it is likely that many children will not live with
their parent before or at the time of the parent’s death. The bereaved child may have

adapted to living with a single parent or may have previously mourned the loss of a

65

parent during the divorce process. Parental bereavement for children of divorce and/or
abuse are important areas for future research, to assist researchers and clinicians in
understanding the children’s specific and unique issues surrounding grief and loss.

A concept that is found in the existing literature that did not appear in the
children’s grief narratives is that parentally bereaved children have lower levels of self-
esteem and decreased self-efficacy (Worden, 1996). The children described themselves
as nice, helpful, and fun. The children did not discuss their limitations or target areas for
growth.

The participants’ grief stories did not show significant differences in emotions
regarding mother loss versus father loss. However, as there were only three mother-loss
participants in this study, further research needs to explore how the deceased parent’s
gender affects the child’s grief story. The emotional and immediate environmental effect
may be the same for father and mother loss, but due to systemic influences such as loss of
income following a father death, the long-term effects may be different. As social roles
and expectations regarding men and women continue to change (e. g., women being
financially responsible for families), further contemporary research needs to explore the
longitudinal effects of father versus mother death.

Another concept found in the review of literature that was not evident in either the
interviews or the grief narratives is that children are angry with the deceased parent for
leaving them. Many of the children in the study expressed anger at the situation, but not
at the deceased parent. Several of the participants stated that they were glad their parent
was in a better place and they were happy that he or she was no longer suffering.

Additionally, the children did not report displacing their anger onto the surviving parent.

66

Much of the current literature considers how each family member individually
processes his or her grief. The fact that none of the parents asked to be present as non-
participant observers may suggest that families isolate themselves in order to deal with
grief and loss issues. However, there are alternate hypotheses regarding why the
surviving parents and guardians did not attend the interview, including the adults wanting
to give the child a special time to express his or her grief and/or the adults wanting to
respect the research process by not interfering. Nonetheless, how families interconnect
and adapt to loss is a salient area for future research.

SeengGrief and Loss from an Ecological Perspective

The three main environments espoused by Human Ecology Theory broadens
parental bereavement’s sphere of influence, while Bronfenbrenner’s (1979) ecology of
human development promotes understanding grief and loss issues from a variety of
environments. Analyzing the data within these perspectives underscores the importance
of significant others who are involved in a bereaved child’s life and highlights the role of
culturally created and defined standards in childhood mourning.

The child’s primary microsystem, the bereaved family, is the most significant
environment for a child to process grief issues (Cohen, Dizenhuz, & Winget, 1977;
Moody & Moody, 1991; Nadeau, 1998; Walsh & McGoldrick, 1988). This microsystem
is the setting for both positive and hurtful memories before the death and is a place to
share the loss experience after the family member dies. It is not surprising that the
participants in the study reported talking with their surviving parent and siblings (if
applicable) in order to cope with grief. Other important microsystems for the participants

include peer groups, school, and extended family. The mesosystemic links for each of

67

the microsystems were the themes of loss and sadness. The children did not differentiate
how different environments aided in their mourning, but iterated that each subsystem
provided support and significant, comforting messages (Burleson, 1994).

Both HET and Bronfenbrenner’s ecological theory of development advocate that
bereaved children’s macrosystems, or social/cultural environments, influence their
mourning practices. The investigator expected gender to influence the amount of writing
and talking, but girls and boys wrote and told both long and short stories, Girls were no
more likely than boys to write or talk at length; most participants preferred shorter stories
and kept answers brief. The short time for joining, the children’s development level, and
being involved in a new setting (a research project) may have affected how much
participants were willing to share.

Spirituality was also an important construct in this study (McGoldrick, Pearce, &
Giordano, 1982). Although often unsure of and confused about what their religion
purports (if they attend an organized religious services), the children appeared to consider
what death means and what happens to people when they die. Children who are
parentally bereaved tend to think critically about the future and have the underlying
concern that something bad may happen again. This worldview influences choices they
make regarding work (one boy wanted to be a veterinarian because his deceased mother
liked horses), relationships (balancing the need with love with the fear of being left
again), and family (isolating self or remaining closed bonded with those who share your
grief story).

Research suggests that children both accept and avoid the reality of death (Sigel

& Gorey, 1994). Children in the study accepted the finality of death, while maintaining a

68

hope to see their parent again. Children narrated their hope of seeing their parent again
either in heaven or as a ghost. Many children believe that their parent is in a better place.
Implications for Clinicians: A Strength-Based Approach

Frequently, the paradigm of bereaved children’s development is steeped in
negatives. Historically, the focus of research and intervention has been to “fix” the
problems that mourning children face (e. g., depressive moods and behavioral outbursts).
This ideology produces inadequate results since the problem-centered approaches seek
only to resolve what professionals have labeled a problem (e.g., being depressed after the
death of a parent). Using this approach, it is difficult to differentiate depression from
grief and loss issues. The findings of this study explores alternatives to the problem-
centered approach by examining how parentally bereaved children are successfully
adapting, noting the children’s strengths in the face of adversity. In order for clinicians to
effectively work with grieving children, it is important to understand their strengths.
Examining a strength-based model of youth development and emphasizing how the
findings illustrate this holistic approach broadens our understanding of the ecology of
mourning children.

Childhood is a time of change. Physical development, emerging social roles, and
cognitive development are but a few of the transitions that children face. These changes
are likely to become “risk factors” when they are compounded with parental loss or other
disruptions of the family unit, poverty, parental psychopathology, and chronic discord
(Werner, 1994). The resiliency literature explores how children and youth, despite

seemingly insurmountable risks, survive.

69

Social scientists have gone through several stages in their approach to
understanding resiliency in youth development (Werner, 1994). Biological risk factors
and stressful life events have been the major focus of resiliency research. Initially,
researchers emphasized the association between a single risk variable (e. g., low birth
weight) or stressful life event (e. g., parental loss), and negative developmental outcomes.
Compounding variables led to the idea that a single cause theory may not be useful
because most behaviors have multiple causes. Subsequently, interactional affects among
multiple stressors were examined carefully. After establishing the link between stressors
and high-risk behavior, researchers began to note how certain children overcame the risks
to lead productive lives. In an early risk and resiliency study, a longitudinal study of
Kauain children, found three types of protective factors that emerged from “high risk”
children (Werner & Smith, 1992). The Kauain children who were able to overcome the
odds had (a) “dispositional attributes” such as activity level, sociability, at least average
intelligence, competency in communication skills (language and reading), and internal
locus of control; (b) affectionate ties within the family that provided emotional support in
times of stress, whether from a parent, sibling, spouse, or mate; and (0) external support
systems, whether in school, at work, or church, that rewarded the individual’s
competencies and determination, and provided a belief system by which to live. Risk and
resiliency research provides evidence that specific variables and processes are involved in
safeguarding and promoting successful development. In spite of adverse contexts, this
research identifies particular variables that are responsible for childhood resiliency.
Masten and Garmezy (1985) distilled these variables into the categories of self-esteem,

family cohesion, and availability of external support system.

70

Although the risk and resiliency literature has not been applied to parentally
bereaved children, this model integrates well with many of the participants’ perception of
a positive future. These resiliency factors are seen in the participants’ accounts as they
talk of their own assets, the strengths of their surviving family, and the support received
from others within their broader systems. The participants had hopes for the fixture such
as becoming a singer or making better grades. Additionally, the bereaved children in this
study report having the protective factors that lead to resiliency (see Figure 5). The three
boxes of the distilled risk variables (Masten & Garmezy, 1985) are connected and lead to
(shown by one-directional arrows) a parentally bereaved child’s resiliency. Many of the
children reported having a positive View of self, or high self-esteem, stating that they are
nice, helpful, happy, normal, and fun. All of the participants reported being engaged with
their surviving family. A girl reported that she watches her brother when her mother is
busy. Another girl stated that she and her sister talk about their father’s death. The
sisters in the study reported liking similar activities and spending time together.
Participants recounted talking to their surviving parent about their emotions surrounding
grief and loss. In addition to family cohesion, the participants stated that they received
external support from grandparents, extended family, teachers, and friends. These
supportive persons would often offer the mourning children significant and comforting
messages (Burleson, 1994) and would aid the family logistically (e. g. childcare,
transportation, etc.).

Many bereaved children are resilient and this study’s participants request that
others see their strengths and normalcy. A holistic and strength-based view of bereaved

children agrees with the children’s own reports of being both happy and sad, as they

71

Bereaved Children’s Resiliency

 

Self-Es teem

 

“I’m nice”

“I help my mom”
6‘I9m happy99
“I’m normal”

“I’m a good helper”
“I like to have fun”

\ .

Family Cohesion

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I talk to my sister”
“I talk to my mom about my
dad dying”

 

“What is something you like about
your mom?”—”Almost everything!”

External Support
Involvement of j
. Grandparents: “I like my
grandma because she is nice and
she helps me”
. Extended family: “My uncle
takes care of us a lot”
0 Teachers: “If I’m at school, I
talk to my teacher”

. Friends: “I have my best
friend”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Masten & Garmezy (1985) Variables of Resiliency

 

 

 

 

 

 

Figare 5. Cluster Display of Bereaved Children’s Resiliency

72

 

 

 

 

Parentally
Bereaved
Child as

Resilient

 

 

 

 

expressed a fluid range of emotions. After an interview, I asked one boy if there was
anything else that I should know about children whose parent had died. He replied, “We
are normal.” To wit, he was asking for others to see him as all right, although he is
within an atypical and difficult situation. The strengths of bereaved children include their
ability to mourn, cope, and develop in the midst of adversity. They report enjoying what
other children enjoy (playing Gameboy and running around outside) and are able to
recount happy times before their parent died. Listening to the voices of grieving children,
it is important to see their complete picture—observing their positive moments, happy
times, and resilience while attending to their needs such as sadness and fear.

It is important for researchers and clinicians to acknowledge parentally bereaved
children’s strengths as it informs the strategies and interventions used in treatment plans
and it promotes recovery and resilience. Developmental assets (Benson, 1997) are
important in protecting children from risky behaviors and clinicians need to encourage
bereaved children to be aware of and bolster strengths such as a positive identity and
having a sense of purpose in the face of adversity. It is a child’s strengths that will help
them transcend grief. The clinician may use strength-based questioning such as “what is
something that made you feel a little less sad this past week?” By asking about the
child’s own resources, a clinician may find that the child has his or her own unique way
to cope with grief. Being curious and respectful about a child’s own coping mechanisms
often brings to light solutions for grief and loss issues. Additionally, it is important to see
the child as having internal resources instead of labeling the bereaved child as a one-

dimensional, sad character.

73

Biblionarrative Mnical Intervention in Narrative Therapy

One method of focusing on the whole child is to hear her or his story. Schwartz
(1995) believes it is necessary for children to identify, acknowledge and express their
inner selves in order to develop emotional problem solving skills and to promote healthy
development. Biblionarrative is an innovative approach that affords children an
opportunity to author their life experience. Additionally, Biblionarrative augments
traditional interviewing methods for qualitative data collection. The premise of
Biblionarrative, or hearing life stories, is applicable both for researchers and for clinicians
who work with children and their families, such as Marriage and Family Therapists and
other mental health providers. Life narratives reveals what a child deems important
(White & Epston, 1990; Zimmerman & Dickerson, 1996) and clinicians who work with
children can re-story adverse life events into stories of hope (Monk, et al., 1997). A
recent trend in Marriage and Family Therapy literature is to include children when
planning interventions (Freeman, Epston, & Lobovitis, 1997, Gil, 1994; Smith & Nylund,
1997; Wachtel, 1994). The clinical use of Biblionarrative may help the narrative
therapist join with, assess, and treat children and their family who are in mourning.

The process of writing a Biblionarrative in a clinical setting is similar to writing a
Biblionarrative for the purpose of research data collection. In a clinical setting creating
the Biblionarrative may be stretched out over several sessions or over the duration of
treatment. Initially, it is essential to join with the child and family, collecting information
on their life story, especially the details surrounding the death of the parent (Eron &
Lund, 1996; Freedman & Combs, 1996; Parry & Doan, 1994; White & Epston, 1990;

Zimmerman & Dickerson, 1996). Having the child or family write an introduction to

74

their story, the therapist can see what words the clients use to describe their situation.
The therapist can then use the same words to join with the clients or can reframe negative
words in order to cast a new light on the situation.

Asking clients to write about what it was like before the death, the therapist may
assess boundaries, unwritten rules, communication styles, and other family dynamics by
observing who takes the lead writing or offers the most suggestions. For example, if an
older sister directs what information is included in the story, the therapist may
hypothesize that she is dominant in the family and then may further assess if this power is
healthy or maladaptive. It is important to observe how each member interacts with others
while contributing to the family story in order to gain an understanding of the family’s
rules, values, power, and communication style.

Concurrently, the narrative therapist will use information gleaned from co-
authoring the Biblionarrative to assess the altered family fimctioning by mapping the
influence (White & Epston, 1990) of grief within the family dynamic. The therapist
assesses what information the clients include in their story and what they leave out. For
example, the clinician may learn that the family regards anger as an unacceptable
emotion to express. Additionally, the therapist must understand how this particular
family is grieving without classifying them into a pre-determined “grieving process.”
Understanding both the generic and idiosyncratic grieving processes will help the
therapist co—create a useful tool (Biblionarrative) for the family to adapt to the
bereavement and the changes it creates in the family. i

The narrative therapist may then assist clients to extemalize the problematic

behavior (e.g., grief or the behavioral problem that stems from unresolved mourning).

75

Extemalization encourages the family to objectify and personify problems (White &
Epston, 1990). The family, creating new pages for the story, can describe and illustrate
what the extemalized problem looks like, feels like, smells like, and when and where this
character appears. This rich description allows the family to create a metaphor for the
problem, allowing the family to talk freely about grief. For instance, the therapist and
family may co-create a story where a rainstorm (the extemalized sadness) moved into the
house after father died. The family could write about when the rain covers the family at
dinnertime or how it ruined a day at the park. Extemalizing the problem allows the
family to take a lighter or more humorous approach to grief, which may establish hope
and goodwill in problem solving (White & Epston, 1990). Moreover, any one family
member is released from blame as all must fight against the rainstorm. After the
extemalization, the therapist may choose to write the family a letter thanking them for
introducing her to the new character and inviting the family to work against the
antagonist by continuing to co-author an autobiographical children’s book, or
Biblionarrative.

In subsequent sessions, the therapist will continue to co-author the Biblionarrative
with the family by asking them what they think will happen next. What does each
member expect or hope for? What will the family be doing when the grief is not so
intense? What is the conclusion of the story? During this time, the therapist will help the
family co-author unique outcomes, or endings to the story where grief is transcended and
the family interacting functionally. The identification of unique outcomes helps the
family to identify their strengths and resources, thus undermining the problem and

rendering grief less influence in the family’s functioning (White & Epston, 1990).

76

Biblionarratives do not necessarily have to be children’s literature stories.
Therapists may chose to have clients write joumal-type accounts or more creative literary
works such as fables or fairy tales. For families with younger children, a therapist may
create a displaced communication (Kalter, 1990) such as a Biblionarrative in which a
family of whales loses a parent. In this Biblionarrative, the therapist would represent the
emotions surrounding the family by having the whales describe their feelings of sadness,
anxiety, and fear (Worden, 1996). The therapist would then comment on how distressed
the whales must feel and would co-create alternative methods of coping with the grief
issues.

Additionally, therapists may use information from previous sessions to write a
Biblionarrative about the clients and then present this story to the family (placing the
family in the role of the story’s editor). The therapist could include didactic,
psychoeducational material in order to increase positive outcomes in family functioning.
For example, when working with a family who is emotionally distant during mourning, a
therapist may present a story where a family builds communication skills by spending
one afternoon together playing “emotion basketball.”

There are many benefits to including a Biblionarrative in treatment. Writing a
story is a less-direct way to assess and address problems. Reserved family members may
displace their feelings or emotions onto fictional characters or they may feel more
comfortable emoting if they are not talking directly with others. Additionally, creating a
Biblionarrative is a non-threatening method to give each person a voice by making each
family member an official co-author to the story. Silent family members share equal

authoring responsibility with dominant talkers in the family. If one family member is

77

underfunctioning, he or she may be asked to write a special section about his or her
perceptions of the family. Furthermore, having one story told from many points of view
can enlighten the therapist and family members in regards to each other’s perception of
the problem. Moreover, this‘affords the family an opportunity to collaborate, creating
multiple solutions in order to resolve intense grief issues. Another benefit to writing a
clinical Biblionarrative is that the family can brainstorm multiple endings, or various
solutions, to the difficulties the family is experiencing. Biblionarratives may be created
either in-session or as homework. Regardless of setting, the family is spending time
together and building emotional connectedness while working together to author the
story.

Although Biblionarrative is a useful tool in both clinical and research settings,
there are certain limitations to be considered. Some clients or participants may be unable
to write due to physical or developmental difficulties. Others may feel uncomfortable
writing due to poor literacy skills. It is important to adapt the use of Biblionarrative
based on participants’ cognitive, developmental, and physical need and abilities.
Limitations of the Study

Chapter Three addressed the main limitation of this study, that a small sample size
(n=12) limits the generalizablity of the findings. Furthermore, the findings of this study
may not be representative of the population of grieving children, only of children similar
to the participants in the study. For example, geographical differences potentially
influence the conceptualization of death based on pre-exposure to natural lifecycles.
Rural children may experience parental loss differently from those who live in urban or

suburban settings, such as those included in the sample. Additionally, rural children may

78

have limited access to support services. Moreover, as the sample for this project included
one African-American and three children who experienced the loss of a mother, it would
be well advised to expand the sample to include other ethnic minorities and more children
whose mothers had passed away. Also, older subjects could be added to examine
mourning adolescents’ grief stories through Biblionarrative.

Another limitation of the study is that it did not address the efficacy of
Biblionarrative as a tool for bereaved children to tell their grief story. Questions related
to outcomes need to be addressed through experimental design. Empirical studies could
determine if children have better outcomes after telling their grief story via interview and
writing. Further investigation could explore if children who have the opportunity to tell
their story have healthier outcomes.

This study did not address how the family paradigm affects the children’s grief
processes. The surviving parent’s story influences how children story their grief. The
purpose of this study was to explore how children narrate their grief, giving voice to an
under-heard population; however, systemic influences, especially filial mourning style,
shape a child’s grief story. A holistic view of parental bereavement would include the
stories of each surviving member of the family, and the family story. An important
future area of research would be to include bereaved families in co-authoring a familial
Biblionarrative where family dynamics and adaptation style could be assessed and related
to the child’s grief process.

Conclusion
The limitations of the study did not overshadow the strength of this project,

providing a forum for children to express their grief. Hearing children’s grief stories is

79

important for children to process their loss and it is important in order that researchers
and clinicians may better understand childhood mourning. Using Biblionarrative in
treatment aids in building family assets, such as cohesion, communication skills, and
adaptability. Similarly, using Biblionarrative as a research tool builds strengths by
affording individuals and family a non-verbal opportunity to share their story.

The major contribution of this project was to facilitate a new Narrative Theory
tool, Biblionarrative, which holds promise for researchers and clinicians to gain clearer
information about how children mourn by hearing children’s voices directly. When the
participants were given the opportunity to express their thoughts and emotions, they were
open and honest about how losing a parent has altered their lives. The children’s candor
added to the existing body of literature, specifically showing that bereaved children are
strong and resilient while c0ping with strong emotions such as sadness, anger, and
anxiety. Future studies, including examining the efficacy of Biblionarrative used in
clinical treatment, will add to our understanding of how children cope after the loss of a

parent.

8O

References

Alldred, P. (1998). Ethnography and discourse analysis: Dilemmas in
representing the voices of children. In J. Ribbens & R. Edwards (Eds), Feminist
dilemmas in qualitative research (pp. 147-170). London: Sage.

Allen, KR (2000). A conscious and inclusive family studies. Journal of
Marriage and the Family. 62. 4-17.

Andersen, T. (1993). See and hear, and be seen and heard. In S. Friedman (Ed.),

The new langu_age of change: Constructive collaboration in psychotherapy (pp. 303-322).
New York: Guildrod Press.

Anderson, H. (1993). On a roller coaster: A collaborative systems approach to
therapy. In S. Friedman (Ed), The new Language of ch_a_nge: C(mstructive collaboration in
psychotherapy (pp. 323-344). New York: Guilford Press.

Anderson, H. (1997). Conversation. langu_agflnd possibilitiea: A postmodem
apm'oach to therapy. New York: BasicBooks.

Barnes, G., & Prosen, H. (1985). Parental death and depression. Journal of
Abnormal Psychology, 94 (1 ), 64-69.

Baker, J ., Sedney, M., & Gross, E. (1992). Psychological tasks for bereaved
children. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 62, 105-116.

Benson, PL. (1997). All kids are our kids: What communities must do to raise
caring and responsible children and adolescents. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass Inc.,
Publishers.

Berlinsky, E.B., & Biller, HE. (1982). Parental death and psychological
development. Toronto: Lexington Books.

Boss, P., Dahl, C., & Kaplan, L. (1996). The use of phenomenology for family
therapy research: The search for meaning. In D.H. Sprenkle & S.M. Moon (Eds),
Research methods in family therapy. (pp. 83-106). New York: Guildford Press.

Bowlby, J. (1980). Attachment and loss: Loss. sadness and depression. New
York: Basic Books.

Bowman, R. (1995). Metaphors for counseling children. Elementary School
Guidance & Counseling, 29, 206-216.

Bronfenbrenner, U. (1979). The ecology of human development: Exm' riments by
aature and design. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.

81

Bronfenbrenner, U. (1993). The ecology of cognitive development: Research
models and fugitive findings. In R.H. Wozniak & K.W. Fischer (Eds), Development in
context: Acting and thinking in specific environments (pp. 3-44). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.

Bronfenbrenner, U., & Morris, RA. (1998). The ecology of human
developmental processes. In W. Damon (Series Ed.) & R.M. Lerner (V 01. Ed.),

Theoretical modes of human development. Vol. 1 of Handbfl of child psychology (5’h
ed., pp. 993-1028). New York: Wiley.

Brown, L., & Tandon, R. (1983). Ideology and political economy in inquiry:
Action research and participatory research. J ourn_al of Applied Behavioral Science 19,
277-294.

 

Bubolz, M.M., & Sontag, MS. (1993). Human ecology theory. In P.G. Boss,
W.J. Doherty, R. LasRossa, W.R. Schumm, & S.K. Steinmetz (Eds), Sourcebook of
family theories and methods: A contextual approach (pp. 419-448). New York: Plenum.

Burleson, BR. (1994). Comforting Messages: Significance, Approaches, and
Effects. In B.R. Burleson, T.L. Albrech, & I.G. Sarason (Eds) Communication of social
suppprt. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.

Cheifetz, P., Stavrakakis, G., & E. P. Lester. (1989). Studies of the affective
state in bereaved children. Canadian Jouflal of Psychiatry. 34. 699-692.

Cohen, P., Dizenhuz, I.M., & Winget, C. (1977). Family adaptation to terminal
illness and death of a parent. Social Casework 58 223-228.

 

Cooper, J .E. (1991). Telling our own stories: the reading and writing of journals
or diaries. In C. Witherell & N. Noddings (Eds) Stories lives tell: Na_rr_ative M
dialogue in education. New York: Teacher’s College Press.

Costa, L. (1992). Life after death: a child’s reaction to the death of a parent.
Early Childhood Development. 83. 67-75.

Crain, W. (2000). Theories of development: Concepts and a lications 4th ed. .
Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall.

DeSpelder, L.A., & Strickland, AL. (1982). The last dance: Encountering death
and djp'ng. Palo Alto, CA: Mayfield Publishing Co.

Docherty, S., & Sandelowski, M. (1999). Focus on qualitative methods:
interviewing children. Research in Nursingand Health. 22. 177-185.

Eron, J .B., & Lund, T.W. (1996). Narrative solutions in brief therapy. New
York: The Guildford Press.

82

Fetterman, D.M. (1989). Ethnography: Step by step. Newbury Park, CA: Sage.

Foucault, M. (1980). Power/knowledge: Selected interviews and other writings.
New York: Pantheon Books.

Fulton, R. (Ed.). (1965). Death and identity New York: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

F urman, E. (1974). A child’s parent dies: Studies in childhood bereavement.
New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.

Freeman, J ., Epston, D., & Lobovits, D. (1997). Flag approaches to serious
problems: Narrative therapy with children4 and their families. New York: Norton.

Freedman, J ., & Combs, G. (1996). Narrative therapy: The sgal con_struction of
geferred realities. New York: W.W. Norton.

 

Garbarino, J. (1982). Children and families in the social environment. New
York: Aldine.

Garbarino, J. (1983). Social support networks: Rx for the helping professions. In
Whittaker, J .K., & Garbarino, J. (Eds). Social support network_s: Informal helping in the
human services. New York: Aldine Publishing Co.

Gergen, KG. (1999). An Invitation to Social Construction. Newbury Park, CA:
Sage Publications.

Gergen, M.M., & Gergen, K.J. (1984). The social construction of narrative
accounts. In K.J. Gergen & M.M. Gergen (Eds), Historical social psychology. (pp. 173-
189). Hillsdale: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

Gil, E. (1994). Play in family therapy. New York: Guilford.

Glaser, D. (1996). The voice of the child in mental health practice. In R. Davie, G.

Upton, & V. Vanna (Eds), The voice of the child: A handbook for professionals. (pp. 78-
90). London: Falmer Press.

Hall, B. (1979). Knowledge as a commodity and participatory research. Prosmcts,
2, 4-20.

Hall, N. (1996). Eliciting children’s views: The contribution of psychologists. In
R. Davie, G. Upton, & V. Vanna (Eds), The voice of the child: A hfldbookfifor
professionals. (pp. 61-77). London: Falmer Press.

Harold, R.D., Palmiter, M.L., Lynch. S.A., & Freedman-Doan, CR. (1995). Life

stories: a practice-based research technique. Journal of Sociology and Social Welfare 22
23-44.

 

83

Heinz, D. (1999). The last passage: Recovering a death of our own. New York:
Oxford University Press.

Hess, R.D., & Handel, G. (1967). The family as a psychosocial organization. In
G. Handel (Ed.), The psychosocial interior of the family (pp. 10-29). Chicago: Aldine.

Holman, C.H., & Harmon, W. (1992). A Handbook to Literature. New York:
MacMillan Publishing Company.

Holmes, RM. (1998). Fieldwork with children. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage
Publications, Inc.

Kalter, N. (1990). Growing up with divorce. New York: Ballantine Books.

Kaltreider, N. (1984). Relationship testing after the loss of a parent. American
Journal of chgatry. 141. 243-246.

Kantor, D., & Lehr. W. (1990). Inside the family. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-
Bass Inc., Publishers.

Kubler-Ross, E. (1969). On death and dying. New York: Macmillan Publishing
Co.

Lewis, J. (1976). No single thread: Psychological health in family systems. New
York: Brunner & Mazel.

Lyon, J ., & Vandenberg. B. (1989). Father death, family relationships, and
subsequent psychological functioning in women. Journal of Clinical Child Psychology,
18(4), 327-335.

Maslow, A. H. (1954). Motivation and personality. New York: Harper.

Masten, A.S., & Garmezy, N. (1985). Risk vulnerability and protective factors in
developmental psychopathology. In B.B. Lahey & A.E. Kazidin (Eds), Advances in
Clinical Child Psychology, (vol. 8, pp. 1-52). New York: Plenum Press.

Marshall, C., & Rossman, GB. (1995). Desigping qualitative research. Thousand
Oaks, CA: Sage.

McGoldrick, M., Pearce, J.K., & Giordano, J. (1982). Ethnicity and family
therapy. New York: Guildford Press.

Miles, M.B., & Huberman, AM. (1994). Qualitative data analysis (2"(1 Ed.).
Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

84

Minuchin, S., & Nichols, MP. (1993). Family healing: Tales of hop_e and
renewal from family therapy. New York: The Free Press.

Monk, 6., Winslade, J ., Crocket, K., & Epston, D. (Eds). (1997). Narrative
therapy in practice. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Publishers.

Moody, R., & Moody, C. (1991). A family perspective: Helping children
acknowledge and express grief following the death of a parent. Death Studies. 15, 587-
602.

Moules, NJ. (2000). Postmodernism and the sacred: Reclaiming connection in
our grater-than-hurnan worlds. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 26, (2). 229-240.

Myers, E. (1986). When parents die. New York: Viking.

Nadeau, J.W. (1998). Families making sense of death. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage
Publications.

Neimeyer, RA. (1999). Nanative strategies in grief therapy. Journal of
Constructivist Psychologyal2, 65-85.

Newfield, N., Sells, S.P., Smith, T.E., Newfield, S., & Newfield, F. (1996).
Ethnographic research methods: Creating a clinical science of the humanities. In D.H.

Sprenkle & S.M. Moon (Eds), Research methods in family therapy. (pp. 25-63). New
York: Guilford Press.

Nichols, M.P., & Schwartz, RC. (1998). Family therapy: Concepts and methods.
Boston: Allyn and Bacon.

O’Connor, N. (1984). Letting go with love. Tucson, AZ: La Mariposa Press.

Parry, A., & Doan, RE. (1994). Story re-visioriNanative therapy in the
postmodern world. New York: The Guilford Press.

Patton, MO. (1990). Qualitative evaluation and research methods. Newbury
Park, CA: Sage Publications, Inc.

Rafuls, S.E., & Moon, SM. (1994). Grounded theory methodology in family
therapy research. In. D.H. Sprenkle & S.M. Moon (Eds), Research methods in family
therapy (pp.64-80). New York: The Guilford Press.

Reason, P. (1994). Three approaches to participative inquiry. In N.K. Denzin &
Y.S. Lincoln (Eds), Handbook of qualitative research (pp. 324-339). Thousand Oaks,
CA: Sage.

Rice, PP. (1992). Human development: A life-span approfl. New York:

85

Macmillan.

Riley, S. (1993). Illustrating the family story: Art therapy, a lens for viewing the
family’s reality. Arts In Psychotherapy. 20, (3), 441-458.

Ross, EM. (1996). Learning to listen to children. In R. Davie, G. Upton, & V.
Vanna (Eds), The voice of the child: A handbook for professionals. (pp. 91-106).
London: F almer Press.

Roth, D. (1987). Steppiflstones to grief recovery. Santa Monica, CA: IBS
Press. ,

Pugh, G., & Selleck, DR. (1996). Listening to and communicating with young
children. In R. Davie, G. Upton, & V. Varma (Eds), The voice of the child: A handbook
for professionals. (pp. 120-136). London: Falmer Press.

Schnitzer, P.K. ( l 993). Tales of the absent father: Applying the “story”
metaphor in family therapy. Family Process. 32, 441-458.

Schwartz, RC. (1995). Internal family systems therapy. New York: Guilford.

Sedney, M.A., Baker, J .E., & Gross, E. (1994). “The story” of death:
Therapeutic considerations with bereaved families. Journal of Marital and Family
Therapy, 20, 287-296.

Siegel, K., & Gorey, E. (1994). Childhood bereavement due to parental death
from acquired immunodeficiency syndrome. Developmental and Behavgal Pediatrics,
g, S66-S70.

Silvennan, PR. (2000). Never too young to die: Death in children’sfilives. New
York: Oxford University Press.

Smith, C., & Nylund, D. (1997). Narrative therapies with children gs]
adolescents. New York: Guildford.

Starnbrook, M., & Parker, K.C.H. (1987). The development of the concept of
death in childhood: a review of the literature. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly. 33(2), 133-157.

Vaillant, G. (1985). Loss as a metaphor for attachment. The American Journal of
Psychoanalysis. 45. 59-67.

 

Vaux, A. (1988). Social support: Theory. resaarch, and intervention. New York:
Praeger.

Wachtel, E. (1994). Treating troubled children and their families. New York:
Guilford.

 

86

Walsh, F., & McGoldrick, M. (1988). Loss and the family life cycle. In C.J.
Falicov (Ed.), Family transitions. New York: Guildford Press.

Walter, J .L., & Peller, J .E. (1992). Becoming solution-focused in brief therapy.
New York: Brunner/Maze] Publishers.

Wass, H. (1984). Concepts of death: a developmental perspective. In H. Wass &
C. Corr (Eds), Childhood and Death. Washington: Hemisphere.

Weller, R., Weller, E., Fristad, M., & Bowes, J. (1991). Depression in recently
bereaved prepubertal children. American Journal of Psycmtw. 148. 1536-1540.

Werner, BE. (1994). Overcoming the odds. Journal of Developmental and
BehavioreiPediatricsLI 5, 131-136.

Werner, E.E., & Smith RS. (1992). Overcoming the odds: High risk children
from birth to adulthood. Ithaca, NY: Cornell University Press.

White, M., & Epston, D. (1990). Nanative means to theramutic ends. New
York: W.W. Norton & Co.

Whittaker, J .K. (1983). Mutual helping in human service practice. In J .K.
Whittaker, & J. Garbarino, (Eds). Social support networks: Informal helping in the
humgservices. New York: Aldine Publishing Co.

Witherell, C. (1991). The self in narrative. In C. Witherell & N. Noddings (Eds)
Stories lives tell: Nanative and dialogue in education. New York: Teacher’s College
Press.

Worden, J .W. (1996). Children and gg'ef: When a parent dies. New York:
Guilford Press.

Zimmerman, J .L., & Dickerson, V.C. (1996). If problems talked: Nanative
therapy in action. New York: The Guilford Press.

Zimmerman, J .L., & Dickerson, V.C. (1994). Using a narrative metaphor:
Implications for theory and clinical practice. Family Process, 23 3-245.

87

Appendix A: Informed Consent

The purpose of this qualitative study is to hear the life stories of children ages 9-12 years old who
have suffered the death of a parent within the past thirty-six months. A child’s story is his or her
account of events. Children’s stories serve as their voice. Hearing these voices is important in
order to understand a bereaved child’s loss and adaptation. A child’s personal account adds to a
body of research that primarily focuses on what adults and researchers surmise about childhood
mourning, rather than what the children themselves say. Bereaved children’s stories will be
useful to those who work with grieving children in order to guide the children through the grief
process. Stories will be collected by having the children write a Biblionarrative, or an
autobiographical children’s literature story about their parental bereavement. The researcher will
assist the child in writing about his or her parental loss by asking questions guided by a review of
literature about parental bereavement. After gathering the stories, the researcher will analyze the
stories to find crosscunent themes in the children’s voices. This process is expected to take about
an hour and a half. Children typically enjoy these types of experiences, but they will not be
pressured to share.

> The child’s participation is voluntary and without force and can be withdrawn at any time.
The child can also refuse to answer any question or share information. This will be clearly
communicated to the child.

> You may stay with the child as a non-participant observer if either you or the child wishes.

> Questions for the child are open-ended and are designed to allow the child to decide what to
share without pressure.

> All information obtained will be kept confidential and any written reports relating to these
stories will not use name or other identifying data. Your privacy will be protected to the
maximum extent allowable by law.

> Questions for the researcher can be asked at any time during the process. Additional
questions about the study can be addressed to Christie Eppler (517) 432-2271x2 or Dr.
Marsha Carolan (517) 432-3327, and questions about your rights as a research participant can
be asked of David Wright, at (517) 355-2180.

> All sessions will be audio taped, and all tapes will be erased after the dissertation is complete.
Only the researcher will retain the transcripts of the interviews.

> Within a week after the interview, children will receive a copy of their written story. Parents
have the right to discuss contents of the session with the researcher.

I, , give permission as parent or legal guardian of
(child’s name) to participate in this research study of Ms.

 

Christie S. Eppler.

Signature of Parent or Legal Guardian

 

Signature of Participant

 

88

Child’s Name:
Child’s Birthday:
Child’s Ethnicity:
Child’s Gender:

Number of Siblings:

Appendix B: Child Information Sheet

Name of Deceased Parent:

Date of Parent’s Death:

89

Appendix C: Advertisement for Participation in Study

Christie Eppler, a doctoral student at MSU,

is seeking kids ages 9-12 whohave lost a

 

you would like more information, please call

Christie at 432- 2271 x2 and leave your

  

phone number and the bestqsg ., . ‘
reached Thank 41.5.1.1,”

 

90

MICHIGAN STATE

UNIVERSITY

 

February 28, 2001

TO: Marsha CAROLAN
101 J Morrill Hall
Dept. of Family & Child Ecology

RE: IRBII 00-787 CATEGORY: FULL REVIEW

TITLE: EXPLORING CHILDREN'S STORIES OF PARENTAL LOSS THROUGH
BIBLIONARRATIVE

ANNUAL APPROVAL DATE: January 8. 2001
REVISION REQUESTED: February 8, 2001
REVISION APPROVAL DATE: February 27, 2001

The University Committee on Research Involving Human Subjects‘ (UCRIHS) review of this project is
complete and I am pleased to advise that the rights and welfare of the human subjects appear to be
adequately protected and methods to obtain informed consent are appropriate. Therefore. the
UCRIHS APPROVED THIS PROJECTS REVISION.

This letter approves the addition of two sample sites.

RENEWALS: UCRIHS approval is valid for one calendar year, beginning with the approval date
shown above. Projects continuing beyond one year must be renewed with the green renewal form.
A maximum of four such expedited renewal are possible. Investigators wishing to continue a
project beyond that time need to submit it again for a complete review.
REVISIONS: UCRIHS must review any changes in procedures involving human subjects, prior to
initiation of the change. If this is done at the time of renewal. please use the green renewal form.
To revise an approved protocol at any other time during the year. send your written request to the
UCRIHS Chair, requesting revised approval and referencing the project's IRB# and title. Include in
your request a description of the change and any revised instruments, consent forms or
advertisements that are applicable.
PROBLEMS/CHANGES: Should either of the following arise during the course of the work, notify
OFFICE OF UCRIHS promptly: 1) problems (unexpected side effects, complaints. etc.) involving human
RESEARCH subjects or 2) changes in the research environment or new information indicating greater risk to the
AND human subjects than existed when the protocol was previously reviewed and approved.
GRADUATE If we can be of further assistance. please contact us at 517 355-2180 or via email:
UCRIHS@piIot.msu.edu.

Inmrslry Committee on Sincerely
shi ar MD

Research Involving
interim Chat}, UCRIHS

 

  
 
 
  
 
 

Human Subjects
Michigan State Univers'
246 Administration Build'
East Lansing. Michi
48824-1046

517/355-2180

FAX: 517/353-2976
:mmsuedu/user/ucrihs
E-Mail: ucrihsOmsuedu AK: rj

  

cc: Christie Eppler
1626 Lake Dr. #202
Haslett. Ml 48840

IDEA is martian] Diversinr. 92
Excellence in Action.
MSU is an immune-action.
mammal Ninth