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This is to certify that the
dissertation entitled

SUSTAINING PASSION:
THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING AN ENVIRONMENTALIST

IN A SMALL NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION

presented by

Jessica Trumbull Kovan

has been accepted towards fulfillment
of the requirements for

__2h___n_'__degree in Wult , and
Lifelong Education

   
 

Major professor

Dfie October 31. 2001

MSU it an Affirmative Action/Equal Opportunity Institution 0-12771

 

LIBRARY
Michigan State
University

 

 

 

PLACE IN RETURN BOX to remove this checkout from your record.
To AVOID FINES return on or before date due.
MAY BE RECALLED with earlier due date if requested.

 

DATE DUE DATE DUE DATE DUE

 

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MAR {02720043

 

APR 1 9 2004

 

’07 1 6 1'0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6/01 c:/ClRC/DateDue.p65—p. 15

SUSTAINING PASSION:
THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING AN ENVIRONMENTALIST IN A SMALL
NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION
by

Jessica Trumbull Kovan

A DISSERTATION
Submitted to
Michigan State University
in partial fillfillment of the requirements
for the degree of
DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY
Department of Educational Administration

2001

ABSTRACT
SUSTAINING PASSION:
THE EXPERIENCE OF BEING AN ENVIRONMENTALIST IN A SMALL
NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION
By

Jessica Trumbull Kovan

The nonprofit sector represents work which can “make a difierence.” This arena
of work, however, is characterized by limited resources and unlimited need, an
environment of long hours, low pay, lack of security, and constantly being the
underdog—conditions which easily lead to burnout. Little is understood about how to
help those working in the nonprofit sector continue to sustain their passion.

The purpose of this qualitative study was to develop a deeper understanding of
how commitment to one’s passions are maintained. Specific focus was placed on
environmental professionals working in the nonprofit sector. The overall research
questions were: What is the experience of strongly committed environmental activists
working in small nonprofit organizations? What happens over time to the commitment
and passion these individuals bring to their work? What role does learning play in
maintaining long term commitment and passion? A process of narrative inquiry
interviews provided in-depth information about the experience of work fiom the vantage
point of the individual being studied. Participants included nine individuals working in
small nonprofit organizations for at least ten years. Each participant was nominated as

being exemplar in her or his work and passion.

The findings Show that commitment for environmental nonprofit work is supported
and sustained through a deep longing to improve the world, the continual fostering of
connections to humanity and to the earth, and an openness for continual learning about the
self. The research participants’ strong belief systems and systemic ways of thinking drive
their work and fuel a continual evolution of their understanding of who they are within
their work and within the world. Three main conclusions were drawn: 1) The ability of
environmental activists to sustain commitment to their passions arises from their ability to
experience work as vocation. 2) Through vocation, environmental activists experience
learning as a way of being. 3) By deeply engaging both conscious learning and
unconscious knowing the activists continually renew and strengthen their sense of
vocation. This process is a part of their learning to be who they are called to be.

This study has enhanced the understanding of the relationship between learning
and passion with practical and theoretical applications for adult learning, higher education,
and nonprofit management. Many questions have also been sparked, suggesting many
diverse areas for fiirther research. Such information is valuable to researchers, educators,
funders, and practitioners alike in the quest to enhance the efions of people dedicating

their lives to work for the common good.

I dedicate this dissertation to my grandmother who bestowed upon me the gift of

passion. For that I will be forever gratefiil.

iv

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

This past winter, I was leading an interpretive walk for children and their families
through the local woods. It was a frigidly cold Sunday morning in February. In the midst
of listening to the muffled sounds of a Michigan woods in winter, we looked up through
the leafless branches of a great oak tree and watched the snow slowly floating down
around us. It was an awesome teaching moment. As we talked about using our five
senses to experience the trail, it suddenly felt incomplete. I impulsively added a six sense:
heart. The scene could not be appreciated in its entirety without listening to and feeling
from the heart. That addition came directly from this study.

I owe my thanks to the participants of this study for reinforcing the lessons of the
heart. I owe my utmost thanks to Dr. John Dirkx, my advisor, mentor, and friend, for
helping me to embark on lessons of the soul and continually push me in my thinking.
Thank you also to my doctoral committee: Dr. Marilyn Amey, Dr. Ann Austin, Dr. Laura
Bierema, Dr. Shari Dann, Dr. Frank Fear, and to my colleague-in-training, Andrea Beach.
I have been blessed by being surrounded by good folk.

My thank you’s would not be complete without a huge heartfelt hug to those who
have lived my doctoral experience. Brianna, Sarah and Zachary, may your memory of this
time period help embed deeply a lifelong love of learning. Mom, thank you for the gift of
loving life and loving learning and for your constant support throughout my doctorate.

Jefl', my soul mate, thank you for all.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

TABLE OF CONTENTS

The Research Problem

Introduction

Investigator's Background

The Research Problem

The Analytic Framework

The Research Design, Questions and Assumptions
Intended Audiences

Review of the Literature

Introduction

The Challenges of Environmental Work
Vocation, Identity and the Workplace
Learning, Vocation and the Self

Adult Learning Theory

Summary

Research Design and Methodology
Articulating Assumptions and Theoretical Position
The Research Design
Narrative Inquiry
Heuristic Inquiry
Data Collection
Selection of Participants
Data Collection Instruments
Data Collection Procedures
Amlysis and Interpretation of Data
Limitations

Findings
Introduction
Chapter Overview
Part One: One Activist’s Story
Dave’s Story
Part Two: A Composite Portrait
Part Three: Aggregate Findings
Passion and Commitment Over Time
Head
Heart

I—IomUJND-tr—I

3-in—5

13
15
20
24
26
29

31
32
35
36
37
39
39
41
41
42

46
46
48
49
50
60
63

65
67

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Spirit
Passion
The Convergence of Head, Heart and Spirit: Leading
Meaningful Lives
The Career Mirror
A Wholeness
The Future
Deep-seated Values
The Role of Learning: Learning To Be At Home
Defining Learning: A Group Discussion
Learning From Childhood
Learning to Take Care of Oneself
Readjusting Expectations
Partners in Learning
In Community and Alone: Learning to Be

Chapter Summary

Interpretations
Introduction
Experiencing Environmental Activism as Vocation
The Concept of Vocation
The Experience of Vocation
Learning As A Way of Being
Learning in Adulthood
Environmental Activists as Adult Learners
Grounded Commitment
Learning and the Self
Conscious Learning and Unconscious Knowing

Chapter Summary

Implications and Conclusion
Introduction
Theoretical Implications
Recognition of the Role of learning
Experiencing Work as Vocation
Implications for Practice
Implications of Higher Education
Implications for Nonprofit Management and Professional
Education
Implications for the Practitioner
Recommendations for Future Research
Conclusion

69
73

73
74
76
77
79
80
80

85
90
91
94
97

99

99
101
101
103
106
107
108
113
113
115
122

124
124
125
125
126
127
127

130
132
134
136

Appendices

References

Appendix A: Email Letter to Participants

Appendix B: Informed Consent Form

Appendix C: Interview Protocol

Appendix D: Contact Letter Prior to Second Interview

139
140
142
144

145

 

.01. »._.Jlu {q I

 

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CHAPTER 1
THE RESEARCH PROBLEM
“T 0 find out what one is fitted to do and to secure an opportunity to do it
is the key to happiness. Nothing is more tragic than failure to discover
one ’3 true business in life, or to find that one has drifted or been forced by

circumstances into an uncongenial calling.
Dewey, 1916, p. 308

Introduction

This study is about hope. Hope, passion and commitment. Wendell Berry
describes hope as a pledge to believe in and act on the possrbility of healing,
understanding, and compassion (Russell, 1999). As we enter the 218t century, confronting
a weighty list of environmental issues, the seeds of hope rest in those people dedicating
their lives to a better fiiture: people working to protect, preserve, and restore the quality
of the environment.

This study is also about learning. Learning fi'om people who have remained
committed and sustained in their passions. Through this learning, lessons can be shared to
help others. For hope to grow, we must listen to and learn from these individuals.

It is recognized that as the world becomes more complex, society more diverse,
and former certainties more ambiguous, even those who are well educated and trained
may become overwhelmed and discouraged (Daloz, Keen, Keen, & Parks, 1996).
Environmentalists, being easily susceptible to burnout, are no exception (Cook, 1993).

Yet, there are those who have chosen environmental careers who sustain commitment,

 

 

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CI“

 

 

enthusiasm and determination—those who appear passionate toward their work. What can
we learn from them? What keeps them going? How do their workplaces and the people
in them help support their commitment, enthusiasm, and passion? IS there a role education
can play in helping maintain this type of outlook and conviction? The purpose of this
study is to develop a deeper understanding of the role of learning in maintaining
commitment to one’s passions. A focus is placed on those environmentalists who remain
committed to their work in the midst of complexity and ambiguity.

The first section of this chapter outlines the specific research problem, the
questions to be explored, and the research study to address those questions. In addition,
the reader is introduced to the conceptual framework of the study and the intended
audiences for this work. To understand my motivation in choosing this research topic, I

present first a brief overview of my background.

Investigator's Background

1 have been interested in enviromnental issues and environmental work for all of
my adult life. As a teenager during the 1970s, I was greatly impacted by the new
enviromnental movement that was sweeping the nation. I would hop the fence of the local
nature center with my sleeping bag and spend the night underneath the stars, vowing to
protect the forests fi'om human impact. Afier receiving a master’s degree specialized in
natural resource economics, I became involved in the world of philanthropy where the
importance of strong leadership in achieving goals became quite apparent. Through my

work, I was privileged to meet with environmental leaders from all different parts of the

United States. I experienced with them the thrill of seeing activities at the community
level bring about change. Yet, at the same time I also sensed a discouragement among
many environmentalists as they experienced fi'ustration in struggling to achieve both their
personal and professional goals. This discouragement impacted their leadership abilities.
Trying to understand how to help them as a grantor was one of the factors which brought
me back to graduate school. The nagging question of whether there is a role for education
in helping these individuals achieve their goals has dominated my interests throughout my
graduate experience. At the same time, my involvement in community nonprofit
environmental work continues to illuminate the importance of these questions. I bring to
this study a strong desire to be able to observe, discuss and understand more fully the
interrelationships between environmental activism, education, and sustaining commitment

within the context of people working for the common good.

The Research Problem

The 19908 could be considered the decade of environmental careers. Prior to the
19703, a new college graduate had a limited number of options for working in the
environmental field, including park ranger, water and sewer worker, forester, geologist, or
science teacher. In contrast, by 1998 as many as 2.5 million Americans were employed in
environmental work (Doyle, 1999) with many in jobs that were unimaginable 30 years
ago. Trends in the environmental professions in the 19805 included an increase grth in
number of jobs, the maturing of the profession, the demand for interdisciplinary training,

the continual increase in public support for environmental protection, the shift away from

 

CA.

"

 

federal involvement to local initiatives, and with this a new grassroots movement seeking
to connect the work of environmentalism to social issues of race, poverty and power
(Cook, 1993).

The increase in public interest, as well as the shift to the local level and to a
grassroots movement, has provided a key springboard to the many environmental jobs
now in existence, especially within the nonprofit sector. No one knows exactly how many
environmental nonprofit organizations exist in the United States, with estimates ranging
fiom as low as 4,000 to as high as 10,000 or more (Doyle, 1999). Nonprofit
organizations, in general, are often seen as prime avenues for individuals interested in
work which serves some aspect of our common life; work that is oriented toward “making
a difference” (McAdam, 1986; Schervish, Hodgkinson, Gates & Assoc., 1995).

The nonprofit sector is a vital, growing part of the social and economic fabric of
contemporary American society. Between 1977 and 1996, employment in the nonprofit
sector grew by an annual rate of 3.3%, with approxirmtely 8% of the United States
workforce currently employed by nonprofit groups (Salamon & Dewees, 2001). Yet,
despite the increasing importance of this sector, few studies have focused on staff working
within small nonprofit organizations—those organizations comprising the bulk of the sector
(Witty, 1989). These are the individuals working in the “trenches.” With little known
about the needs of these individuals, information about how to most efi‘ectively find, train,
employ and help sustain these individuals during increasingly complex and challenging

times is also limited.

Yet, with any challenge comes a mixture of benefits and drawbacks.
Environmental work is no exception. In trying to paint a picture of nonprofit work, the
Environmental Careers Organization suggests, “offices tend to be small, and the pace,
though usually on the fast side, varies. A number of factors - the time it takes to achieve
goals; chronic underfiinding, understafing, and overwork; the high level of personal
involvement; and frequent encounters with people whose degree of personal involvement
can wear a person down, can easily lead to burnout” (Cook, 1993, p. 24). Yet at the same
time “nearly every major environmental victory of the past quarter century can be traced
to the leadership or involvement of nonprofit groups” (p. 24).

The suggestion by the Environmental Careers Organization that environmental
work within the nonprofit sector “can easily lead to burnout” must not be taken lightly.
Environmental professionals have been found to be discouraged, working with a sense of
hopelessness, and questioning their own efi’ectiveness (Snow, 1992; Berry and Gordon,
1992; ICL, 1996; Thomashow, 1995). Snow (1992) found that many environmental
groups are so busy struggling with finances, overbearing work loads, and emotionally
exhausted staff that there is little time or will to look for long-term solutions to their
problems. At the same time, most environmental directors of nonprofit organizations
spend less than 2 percent of their time engaged in professional development of any sort
(Snow, 1992). Stated reasons for this small focus on professional development include
lack of development opportunities and financial resources. Many of the characteristics
needed by nonprofit staff members center on trying to be effective in an environment of

limited resources and unlimited need (Rubin, Adamski and Block, 1989).

The condition of limited resources and unlimited need is not new, yet changes in
the role of government have placed new expectations, responsibilities and stresses on
environmental organizations and the nonprofit sector in general. In the 19605 and 19703,
government supported many areas of nonprofit activity. This trend was reversed in the
19803 with a reduction of the federal role in the financing and operation of social and
educational programs (Adams, 1995). This has resulted in a situation of decreased funds
and increased needs, hence shifting the attention of leadership in the nonprofit sector from
a mission-centered to a resources-driven focus (Adams, 1995). Directors of nonprofits
are having to place a declining emphasis on advocacy and an increased emphasis on
fundraising. Often the best paid, most sought after, professionals in nonprofit
environmental work are fundraising directors (Doyle, 1999). Revenue-generating ability
and strong management and leadership skills have become crucial features for those
looking for employment in environmental nonprofit organizations (Doyle, 1999).

How these changes have impacted environmental practitioners has not been
studied. Information about the nonprofit sector often emerges as fragmented and poorly
defined (Weisbrod, 1988; Wilson, 1994), with environmental organizations even more
invisible than many of their other nonprofit counterparts. With most nonprofit action
occurring privately and locally, without significant identification or recognition, little
empirical investigation has been done of paid staff in these organizations (Herman and
Heirnovics, 1989; Wilensky, 1995). The research that has been done has predominantly

either focused on volunteers or on organizational issues, such as finances or board

development. Ways to help support and strengthen individuals choosing environmental
nonprofit careers is vague.

There is little question that social change work is difficult, with environmental
work easily fitting into this category. Long hours, low pay, constantly being the
underdog, and the lack of security make this type of work particularly difficult. It has
been found that many people throw themselves into this situation for a very short, intense
period of time (Bryan, 1981). This may partially explain the current call fi'om
environmental leaders for the need for continuous personal and intellectual growth,
emphasizing the need for personal refieshment and rejuvenation, rather than professional
training (Berry & Gordon, 1993; Snow, 1992). The necessity to understand how to help
environmental professionals in this request is reflected in the findings from the Institute of
Conservation Leadership. They found that even though environmental leaders feel they
are more skilled today than five years ago, a consensus exists that their overall impact
needs to be greater (ICL, 1996).

Snow (1992) suggests that for environmental professionals to achieve their
greatest levels of effectiveness, they need to be "strong, refreshed, spiritually active, and
overwhelmingly positive in their outlook" (p. 190). Yet, very little is known about how to
help environmentalists achieve or sustain this perspective. Reflecting the level of thinking
in this area, one suggestion from environmental leaders in the Great Lakes region was for
more “fun activities that relieve stress and reduce burnout” (ICL, 1996, p. 5). Yet, this
request seems superficial when considering issues of maintaining long-term commitment in

order to effectively confiont complex issues and create change.

 

5“ V!- 1 .

 

 

The Analytic Framework

In preparing for this study, limited documented information could be found about
environmentalists working in the nonprofit sector. Thus I looked to other bodies of
research to lend insight into people working for the common good. These pieces lmve
helped me to understand my questions more fully. Examples include: Some Do Care:
Contemporary Lives of Moral Commitment (Colby & Damon, 1992), Common Fire:
Leading Lives of Commitment in a Complex World (Daloz, Keen, Keen, & Park, 1996),
The Call to Teach (Hansen, 1995), Being Called to Care (Lasheley, Neal, Slunt, Berman,
& Hultgren, 1994), and Care and Community in Modern Society (Schervish, Hodgkinson,
Gates, & Associates, 1995). Each of these studies approached the question of sustained
commitment from diflerent perspectives. An important theme that was uncovered in each
was the common conception of having a vocation or calling. Persons with vocational
orientations were found to derive their rewards and motivations from internal
considerations. Daloz et a1. (1996) write:

(W)e have come to believe that the answer to our two central

questions—"How do people become committed to the common good?" and

"what sustains them?"-—is finally the same. They are sustained by the very

processes that have made them who they are. (p. 195)
These individuals are responding to a deep belief system that motivates them to act.
Daloz et al. imply it is not necessarily an individualistic choice to act, rather it derives from

a sense of being bound to the pain of the world. Their commitment is continually reborn

by their sense of being called to act. To not act would be to not listen to one's soul.

 

 

As demonstrated in these studies, however, even with a sense of vocation one can
begin to lose heart. Huebner (1987) in writing about teaching as a vocation suggests that
this disillusionment or burnout does not lesson the relevance of vocation but rather shows
how “difficult it is to be a teacher in a school under today’s conditions” (p. 18). He
emphasizes the need to differentiate between the person and the context within which
work occurs and asks: “How do these places and the people in them support teachers in
the continual understanding of self and the world and in their continual development and
meaning?” (pp. 18-19).

When disillusionment occurs, with work and identity tied so closely together, one’s
entire constitution as a person can come into question. To combat this, Thomashow
(1995) emphasizes the need to help environmentalists reflect on how their
environmentalism influences all portions of their lives, hence, providing guidance for
professioml and personal choices. Huebner strongly encourages that we need to better
understand how one's work influences one's life.

This study expands upon the practical and theoretical work discussed above by
placing the lens on the environmentalist and looking closely at the role of learning and
education in sustaining passion and commitment in work for the common good.
Recognizing that environmentalists in nonprofit organizations have very little preparatory
training for their work, with professional development offerings limited or unaffordable,

understanding the role learning plays in sustaining commitment becomes crucial. To aid in

this effort, current theoretical work in adult learning lends insight into the development of

environmental professionals as they come to understand and make meaning of their work.

The Research Design, Questions and Assumptions

As an environmentalist choosing to study environmental professionals, or as a
practitioner-researcher, I bring interpretive research assumptions and methods to this
study. I am not attempting to prove hypotheses but rather to provide insight into the
experiences of strongly committed nonprofit environmental leaders and their needs as
individuals working in an atmosphere conducive to high turnover and burnout. I plan
through this study to shed light on what is needed to serve as a basis for the development
of supportive structures for these individuals. I also bring to this work the strong belief
that the environmental movement is only as healthy as those who run it. I hope through
this study to gain fertile insights which can help to maintain the health of these individuals.

Through a combination of narrative inquiry and heuristic inquiry, this study
explored the role learning plays in maintaining commitment and passion to environmental
work. The study design included conducting two in-depth interviews with nine
environmental activists working in small nonprofit organizations. A concluding focus
group brought all of the research participants together to help interpret the findings. The
research participants were nominated by their peers as having sustained long-term
commitment and passion to their work. In the interviews the following interrelated

questions were explored.

10

1. What is the experience of strongly committed environmental activists working in
small nonprofit organizations?

2. What happens over time to the commitment and passion environmental activists
bring to their work?
3. What role does learning play in maintaining long term commitment and passion?

Applying a narrative inquiry approach takes seriously the idea that people make
sense of experience and communicate meaning through narration. This process, in and of
itself, is a form of social action embodying the relation between narrator and culture
(Chase, 1995). Attention will be placed on both the individual experience and the social
context. Heuristic inquiry takes into consideration the lived experience and positionality

of the researcher.

Intended Audiences

By interviewing environmental activists about their work experiences, it is hoped
information from this study will benefit a number of different audiences. First, are the
activists themselves. Through the project design, an avenue has been provided for the
individual to understand him or herself better. The second audience consists of those
working within nonprofit organizations as well as those in leadership positions in these
organizations, e.g., board of directors. The third audience includes those individuals and
organizations conducting and developing formal education and professional training for
environmental activists. Fourth, is the philanthropic community helping to support
nonprofit organizations. Fifth, the study has been designed to provide insights for

researchers studying adult learning, the nonprofit sector, and environmentalists. With a

ll

better understanding of what helps maintain the vitality of environmental activists;
foundations, universities, professional development organizations, and nonprofit
organizations can work together to apply what has been learned. It is my hope that the
results from this study will mutually benefit both the activists and the extended
communities in which these individuals work. As Paulo Friere (1994) has remarked, “I am
hopefirl, not out of mere stubbornness, but out of an existensial, concrete imperative” (p.

8).

l2

CHAPTER 2

REVIEW OF THE LITERATURE

Introduction
Interviewer: Describe your work on a typical day.

Patty: I don't have a typical day. (Long pause.) I could do a typical
month. There is a certain schedule I follow with in terms of deadlines and
newsletter but in between a lot is putting out fires. OK That would be
typical. I put out fires. Whatever the next meeting is, is the next deadline.
The only standardize portion of my job is first at the end of the month
when the newsletter goes out and membership. I love those days. The first
two days of the month. Then it is chaos the rest of the time. (Pilot project
interview, Nov. 26, 1997)

Interviewer: Describe your work on a typical day.

Connie: That is hard. There is not a “typical day.” A typical day? A day
of interruptions. A day never going as planned. I look at the To Do list in
the morning and it is instantly 4:00 in the afternoon. . . . I am always in
recovery fi'om traveling or planning for my next travels. . . . A typical day?
Asking what's next questions, strategizing and supporting staff, and giving
leadership. (Pilot project interview, Dec. 5, 1997)

Interviewer: On such a day do you find yourself thinking about your ongoing
experiences?

Kathryn: Yes, a lot. . . . I feel like there is a mountain of work to be done
and I am at the footlnfls picking away at the pebbles. When I try to go up
the mountain there are many different footpaths but I don't know which

one to take. I am never sure I am making the best use of my time. Then I

get crabby because there is too much work. (Pilot project interview, Nov.
24, 1997)

These three women are executive directors of small nonprofit environmental

organizations. (Pseudonyms have been used to conceal identity). Patty and Kathryn work

13

in offices with staffs of one. Connie works in an ofiice with a staff of five. All are seen by
their peers as committed, passionate, and effective in their work. In pilot interviews
conducted for this research, all three expressed discontent and tension as a pervasive part
of their work. In Kathryn’s words: “The past two years have been the most diflicult two
years of my life. . . . I feel like work is a war zone.” All three women also assume the
emotions they are experiencing are not representative of what others feel working in
similar positions. Patty suggests, “Another person might be able to do this job for another
ten years and never blink an eye, not get depressed about it.” Yet rather than not being
representative, they may indeed be voicing the experience of many environmental leaders.
As indicated previously, in the little research that has been done on environmental leaders
in the nonprofit sector, feelings of discouragement, working with a sense of hopelessness,
and questions of effectiveness are being heard (Snow, 1992; Berry and Gordon, 1992;
ICL, 1996; Thomashow, 1995). Patty, Kathryn and Connie need not feel alone. Yet, why
are these emotions occurring and how are they related to commitment and passion?

To explore these questions, I visualize dropping a pebble into a lake. Ripples go
out in all directions, inherently touching the whole. Yet the location of the drop has
bearing on the magnitude of the impact. This literature review, as a part of the whole
study, is focused on helping to determine the most strategic point to drop that pebble.

The review is divided into four main sections. First, challenges of environmental work are
considered. The interrelationships between vocation, identity and the workplace are then
discussed. From there, the lens is then placed on learning, vocation and the self. In

conclusion, adult learning theory is discussed as a theoretical basis for the proposed study.

14

The Challenges of Environmental and Nonprofit Work

Many of the leading ideas, advocacy, policies and pro grams to protect
environmental quality have emerged from the nonprofit sector during the twentieth
century (Snow, 1992; Doyle, 1999). Being financially independent with a direct
adherence to a cause and constituents has allowed nonprofits to play a unique and crucial
role in the evolution of the environmental movement. Yet, the environmental challenges
which lie ahead require new ways of thinking, acting, and forms of leadership recognizing
the political, cultural, and social dimensions of environmental protection (Snow, 1992;
Purdy, 2000). Snow (1992) recommends,

The new mandate for leadership demands that virtually every institutional

sector of American life—education, government, business, public

communication, and the not-for-profit sector-become deeply engaged in

solving environmental problems. [Environmental organizations] . . . must

learn to dissolve the self-imposed boundaries that isolate them fiom other

sectors of economic and educational enterprise. (p. xxx-iced)

Snow's recommendations cut to the heart of a shift that has occurred in
environmental work. The industrial revolution of the early 19003 in conjunction with
rapid population grth and an increasingly globalized economy has had dramatic side
effects upon the natural environment. The environmental movement which began as a
movement of nature lovers (hiking, hunting, fishing, birding, protecting wild areas) with
the strong backing and leadership of Theodore Roosevelt, expanded over the twentieth
century to tackle a variety of difierent issues with pollution at the forefiont. President

Nixon in his February 1970 State of the Union message declared that the 19703

“absolutely must be the years when America pays its debt to the past by reclaiming the

15

purity of its air, its waters and our living environment. It is literally now or never” (as
quoted in Shabecofl‘, 1993, p. 112). During this time period, a definitional and substantive
shift occurred from a quality-of-life agenda to a human health and well-being agenda.
With this shift, what began as a top down movement lead by national organizations
(e.g., Sierra Club, Audubon Society, the Izaak Walton League) expanded to a grassroots
movement. Yet this evolution did not occur linearly from a national to local focus, nor
has it occurred without growth pains. With more tlmn two-thirds of Americans now
calling themselves environmentalists (Purdy, 2000) including “every serious presidential
candidate, a growing list of corporate executives, some of the country's most extreme
radicals, and ordinary people from just about every region, class, and ethnic group” (p. 6),
misunderstandings and acrimony have become a pervasive part of the environmental
movement with tensions surfacing between the many different types of
“environmentalisms.” For example, the oldest and most familiar version of
environmentalism, romantic environmentalism, originated fiom the love of and spiritual
attachment to beautiful landscapes and runs head on with the pragmatic and market
oriented managerial environmentalism, which brings together concerns of ecology and
economy. Civic environmentalism (Dewitt, 1994) or domesticated environmentalism
(Purdy, 2000) tries to strike a balance between national standards and local solutions and
focuses on changing the way people live their everyday lives. These environmentalisms
are called to task by the environmental justice movement which focuses on issues of race,
poverty and environmental harm, channeling energy to grassroots projects in inner cities

and industrial areas. The ability to represent these varying interests while bridging

16

diver
com;

[Rift

 

divisions both inside and outside of the environmental movement has become an inherent
component of environmental advocacy work. Shabecoff (1993) conveys the level of this
challenge:

It is not enough for environmental groups to demand that the old-growth

forests of the Northwest be preserved to save the spotted owl or call for an

end to the burning of high-sulfur coal or reduce acid rain. It is also

incumbent upon them to come up with carefully worked-out, politically

acceptable, economically viable, and timely programs for preserving the

communities that depend on logging and to make sure that displaced coal

miners are protected against economic disaster. Environmentalists need

not put jobs, housing, discrimination, drugs, or homelessness at the top of

their list of priorities. But they need to recognize that these problems are

an important part of their agendas. (p. 284-285)

To gain an understanding of the future of the environmental movement through the
vantage point of environmental leaders, the Conservation Fund surveyed over 500
environmental activists working in nonprofit organizations nationwide (Snow, 1992).
From the study, it was concluded that the movement consists of a number of capable
leaders who have “done great things against great odds,” yet their leadership is being
squandered in organizations which are not up to the challenge. Among other things, it is
suggested the most debilitating features of the environmental movement are “xenophobia
and internecine strife” (p. xxxi). Caught in a crisis management mode, the study suggests
that two crucial solutions, planning and training, are underused. It was submitted,

Many of the patterns of operation that have made the flagship conservation

groups so successful will prove to be impediments to the new leadership

that must emerge if environmental reforms are to continue—and, indeed, if

new issues of unprecedented magnitude are to be addressed. (p. )oodii).

Yet, what type of planning and training is needed to support these new leaders? What

type of help is most appropriate to address the isolation, discontent, and tensions voiced

17

by Patty, Kathryn and Connie and others actively working in environmental careers?
Wolfi'ed, Allison and Masaoka (1999) conducted a survey of 137 nonprofit
executive directors (EDS) in the San Francisco Bay Area to study the tenure and
experience of these leaders. With the assertion that an executive director must stay for at
least three years to have a real impact, the study found that the tenure of directors ranged
from three months to twenty six years with the majority of respondents having served as
the ED for five or fewer years. The average tenure was found to be 5.95 years. More
significant than length of tenure, however, was retention of leadership. Nearly two-thirds
of the respondents reported their current CEO job as their first. Less than twenty percent
were in their second position, and 15 percent had held three or more ED positions. When
asked whether they wanted their next job to be as a nonprofit ED, only 25 percent
responded affirmatively. Interestingly, it was found that the largest incentive cited by the
respondents for taking the helm position in a nonprofit organization was the belief in the
organization's mission and the opportunity to make a difl’erence. Professional growth and
opportunity were the second greatest motivator. But when asked “What do you like most
about your job?” only 11% responded that this belief was at the foundation of their work
enjoyment and when asked what would make them leave their job, the largest percentage
(26%) ranked burnout and seeking professional or career growth opportunities. A recent
study by Singleton and Cunningham (2000) also found that nonprofit executive directors
rank burnout and professional growth opportunities as two top reasons they would leave

their jobs.

18

Wolfi'ed et al. suggest tlmt to retain executives, nonprofit organizations should be
proactive in finding opportunities for professional grth These opportunities will both
enhance the attractiveness of the job and, through enhanced skills, raise executive
perforrmnce. Lacking from the study, however, was an understanding of why these
tensions are occurring. When Snow (1992) suggests that for environmental professionals
to achieve their greatest levels of effectiveness, they need to be "strong, refreshed,
spiritually active, and overwhelmingly positive in their outlook" (p. 190), what does this
mean? How is learning a component of achieving or maintaining this type of outlook?

To add insight into what motivates environmental activists to accept leadership
positions in the environmental movement, Chawla (1999) recently interviewed 30
environmentalists in the United States and Norway to determine the sources of their
environmental connnitment. She defines commitment as a “sense of connection to the
environment and dedication to protect it” (p. 16). Like previous research (Tanner, 1980),
her analysis traced environmental commitment to a number of different sources. She
found this commitment was predominantly established in the childhood years, with a third
or less of the interviewees attributing their environmental commitment to the university
years and adulthood. Chawla asked the members of the Norwegian sample what attributes
a person’s continued dedication to protecting the environment. She found two answers
predominated: A commitment to principles of life or caring and the enjoyment of challenge
and cooperative effort. This finding replicates what has been found of people working
with a sense of vocation and passion (Daloz et al., 1996; Schervish et al., 1995;

Csikszentmihalyi, 1990). Chawla's research consisted of structured, open-ended

19

interviews. She noted a descriptive phenomenological approach provided important
insights to her research as well as a “foundation for the construction of theories that are
grounded in people's own understanding of their experiences and actions” (p. 23-24). An
objective of this study is to continue to build on Chawla's work by specifically focusing on

those individuals who have established their professional careers in environmental work.

Vocation, Identity and the Workplace

The late John Sawhill, president and CEO of the Nature Conservancy, stated, “. . .
I have the best job in America. First, I work with committed, energetic, bright people.
Second, I do something that I regard as extremely important. . . . I'm motivated by the
significance of the tas ” (Howard & Magretta, 1995, p. 118). Sawhill's sentiments could
be interpreted as spoken by a person who has experienced a calling, a person who is
working in his found vocation. Hansen (1995) notes that a vocation or calling provides a
person with a sense of identity and personal firlfillment while also encompassing a form of
public service to others. It is through this conceptual lens that he frames his study of
teachers. .

This appears to be an insightful way to think about framing a study of
environmental professionals. In 1916 Dewey stated, “A calling is . . . of necessity an
organizing principle for information and ideas; for knowledge and intellectual growth. It
provides an axis which runs through an immense diversity of detail, it causes different
experiences, facts, items of information to fall into order with one another” (p. 309). To

help prepare and support environmental leaders in their work, gaining an understanding of

20

the roots of vocation and commitment may be a first step in assisting these individuals in
their professional and personal pursuits.

The typical chief executive oflicer (typical being male) of a nonprofit
environmental organization has been depicted as:

He traces his interest in the environment back to the early years of his life.

As a child, he loved the outdoors and had a parent or teacher who

acquainted him with the beauties of nature and instilled in him a deep ethic

about the principles of conservation, ecology, and environmental

protection. It is this ethic—not careerism or the quest for power or the

desire to use environmental issues as a means to effect broad political

change—that lead him into his work and continues to refiesh him (Snow,

1992,p.42)
This ethic gets at what Thomashow (1995) has labeled “ecological identity,” defined as
how people perceive themselves in reference to nature. As a prominent environmental
educator, Thomashow suggests that one of the basic questions that needs to be at the
heart of all environmental education is: What is my purpose as a human being? He
contends that the environmentalist’s sense of identity integrates home, community and the
workplace. He has found that the most critical component when training
environmentalists is their “ability and willingness to look deeply within themselves, to
understand their motivations and aspirations, to clearly articulate their environmental
values, and know how to apply them to professional and personal decisions” (p. xiv). He
suggests that in their professional zeal and personal commitment, environmentalists are
failing to adequately nourish their ecological identity by overworking themselves and
denying their responsibility to their own health and well-being. He contends that while

promoting an environmental way of life, involving appreciating the joys and wonders of

21

life, environmental professionals are also enduring stressful lifestyles, pushing their
organizations and themselves to unreasonable limits.

As these contradictions are brought to the workplace, daily decisions are being
made reflecting environmental values (Lemons, 1989). Thomashow indicates two types of
pressures unique to the environmental professional. First is the moral stress of living up to
the goals and ideals of an environmental way of life, such as becoming a role model for
others and demonstrating practical alternatives for living an environmentally-conscious
life. Cosstick (1994), for example, found that environmental activists internalized a
theoretical commitment to their beliefs by practicing their environmentalism at home. The
second level of pressure on the environmentalist is the constant awareness of global
environmental stress and the knowledge of all the different ways that the planet is in
distress.

Gordon & Berry (1993) suggest that environmental problems are “different
enough fiom other human contexts to need a special kind of leadership” (p. 3). This
special kind of leadership may be what Hansen is terrning the practice of vocation. The
bridging of public obligation and personal firlfillment can be heard in McAdam’s (1986)
summarization of the forces that drive people to work in the nonprofit sector: a deep-
rooted concern for people; the desire for a fairly high ethical content to their work; a sense
of “feeling good” about what they do; a work place with compatible and caring
colleagues; and an occupation which provides an opportunity to serve others.

Though Thomashow and Gordon & Berry view the characteristics of

environmental professionals as unique, when environmental work is viewed through the

22

lens of vocation their findings fit a pattern of people working with a strong sense of
commitment. Daloz et a1. (1996, p. 196-197) write:

The people we interviewed have learned that they and all others are an

integral part of the fimdamental interdependence of life. Knowing this,

when faced with a violation of what they know to be true, they cannot not

act [italics in the original]. Their commitment derives from knowing that

we are bound to one another and to the planet; it is as untenable to turn

away from the world’s pain and unrealized potential as to abandon one’s

child or sever one’s hand. As an acorn takes root or a field flourishes in

the Spring, they grew into their commitments bit by bit.

With commitment and vocation so closely intertwined, Daloz et al. suggest that
both vocation and commitment are a response to some outside force, implying that it is
not necessarily an individualistic choice to act. For these individuals a blurring is
occurring between the boundaries of their personal and professional lives. Deems (1996)
suggests this blurring of boundaries can be described as a sense of one’s work being the
“outer expression of one’s inner self,” such that the meaning takes on something grander
than the traditional concept of work. Berman (1994) in research on the call to care in the
social services found it is the sense of responsibility that helps sustain the call. In
referencing Famharn et a1. (1991, p. 7) she notes that responsibility invites an “accelerating
sense of inner direction.”

Snow (1992) observes that environmental leaders and managers needed for the
future represent a new profession for which there has been no established training, no
university curriculum, no career path, and few standards. In short, he suggests the most

important asset—human capital-has been ignored. Though a number of researchers have

begun to study people working with a passion or with a sense of vocation, the

23

understanding of how environmentalism fits into this picture is limited. An aim of this

research is to help expand the knowledge in this area.

Learning, Vocation and the Self

A number of studies indicate a need for a theoretical framework which
incorporates the role of learning in coming to understand when studying vocation and
sustained commitment. The research of Daloz, Keen, Keen and Park (1996), for example,
found that learning about the self provides an important bridge between what is going on
in the external world and what is occurring within the individual. The significance of this
connection is underscored by their finding that when "the ability to entertain internal
counterpoint is poorly developed or wanes for whatever reason, when some voices are
suppressed and others amplified, burnout or destructive behavior is most likely to occur"
(p. 190). Those who rennined sustained in their commitments were those who were able
to cultivate a stance of conscious awareness of life while also acknowledging one's
limitations to oneself and others.

In a similar vein, Chemiss's (1995) longitudinal study of burnout in the helping
professions found that many people eventually lose their compassion and commitment
when what they see as a vocation no longer seems like a calling. He writes:

. . . this change seemed to be caused by the imbalance between what the

professionals put into their jobs and what they got out of them. When

people are under great stress, when their self-esteem is threatened, and

when their efforts are constantly fi'ustrated, they become more concerned
about themselves and less concerned about others. (p. 46)

24

In his study, Cherniss found that those people who overcame burnout were the
professionals who worked in settings that encouraged stafi to continue learning and
growing. To benefit from this support, however, he found these individuals needed to be
willing to seek out learning experiences. Recognizing the need for life-long learning not
only to keep up with current developments in their field but also to maintain enthusiasm
and commitment to their work was found to be crucial.

Pines and Aronson (1988) also came to a similar conclusion through extensive
research on burnout in management. Three elernents—control, involvement, and
challenge—were found to be important buffers against burnout. They argue that these are
not innate traits in an individual but rather should be viewed as a “teachable way of
interacting with the environment” (p. 74) which can be learned, unlearned, and relearned.

Snow's (1992) research on environmental leaders also accentuates the need for a
better understanding of the role learning about the self plays in supporting environmental
work. Even though enviromnental leaders complain of isolation and a paucity of
opportunities for midcareer training and refi'eshment, no clear-cut answers were found to
the type of support needed. Yet, with personal and professional development both being
desired, opportunities for personal growth were preferred.

Several studies have documented that people who participate in social movements
can learn a tremendous amount, with regard to information and skills as well as values,
beliefs, attitudes and sense of self-identity (Boggs, 1986; Foley, 1991; Kastner, 1993;

Schmitt-Boshnick, 1995; Scott, 1992; Cain, 1998). Yet these studies have focused

25

predominantly on volunteer activists. Little attention has been given to those people

whose personal and professional lives are dedicated to a social movement.

Adult Learning Theory

In 1926, Lindeman stated that the purpose of adult education is to “put meaning
into the whole of life” (p. 7). In asking questions of the role of learning in maintaining
long term commitment and passion, attention is being placed on the learning process in
order to nudge an understanding of what actually transpires when learning occurs. With
adult learning and experience seen as inextricably linked (Merriam, 1994), learning in
adulthood is understood to touch both personal and professional realms. For example, in
Cosstick's (1996) study of environmental activists, she found learning occurred
predominantly informally and in nontraditional settings. This finding fits Brookfield's
(1986) statement:

We should conceive adult learning to be a phenomena and process that can

take place in any setting. Indeed it will often be the case that the most

significant kinds of learning that are identified as such by adult learners

themselves occur in settings not formally designed as adult educational

ones. Such settings include families, community action groups, voluntary
societies, support networks, work groups, and interpersonal relationships.

(P- 4)
Cranton (1996) adds to Brookfield's list such settings as self-help groups, discussion
groups, civil rights movements, feminist groups, and ecology movements. Voicing what is
the predominant school of thought in adult learning theory, Cranton suggests “[a]dult

learning takes place in all the contexts within which people work and live” (p. 15).

26

Underlying the comments of both Brookfield and Cranton is an emphasis placed on
the importance of self-directed learning in adulthood. Cafiarella (1993) suggests that self-
directed learning is in many ways viewed as the essence of what adult learning is all about.

It is the recognition that adults can and do learn on their own initiative. A principal
concept of self-directed learning relevant to this study is that learning can be a self-
initiated process with individuals planning and managing their own learning. Personal
autonomy is the hallmark of this type of learning, with the individual choosing to assume
primary responsibility for planning, carrying out, and evaluating one's own learning
experiences (Brockett & Hiemstra, 1991; Merriam & Cafimella, 1999).

It is also generally agreed that critical reflection is also instrumental in learning
fi'om experience (Brookfield, 1987; Tennant & Pogson, 1995; Cranton, 1996).
Thomashow (1995) suggests there is a strong need to help develop critically reflective
environmental professionals-those individuals who reflect on their experiences to
rigorously question their own problem solving processes. One particular level of
reflection which corresponds to Thomashow’s suggestion involves analyzing and
clarifying underlying assumptions about professional actions and assessing their
consequences, with a view to achieving a personal understanding of an individual's actions.
Sehon (1983) refers to this as "reflection-in-action," focusing on how professionals come
to understand the subconscious thought processes and assumptions they use to solve
problems.

In looking at the connections between vocation, sustained commitment, and the

role of learning, transformative learning theory my lend additional insight.

27

Transforrnative learning theory focuses on the role of learning in creating change and the
manner in which new perspectives are acquired in order to understand changing events
(Mezirow, 1991; Clark, 1993). Dirkx (1998) outlines four different strands of thought in
this realm, suggesting that woven consistently through these fi‘ameworks is the
“importance of meaning in the process of learning and the role of adults in constructing
and making that meaning within the learning experience” (p. 9). The strands vary from a
specific focus on the individual and the meaning making which comes fiom experience
(Mezirow, 1991) to transformative learning as consciousness-raising, calling for educators
to focus on the social dimension of learning in order to address the nurjor issues
confionting our society (Friere, 1970; Cunningham, 1998). Daloz (1986) brings in a
direct developmental perspective by looking at learning as a process of adult development.
Boyd (1991) places the focus on transformative learning as individuation.

Taylor (1997) has found more research on transformative learning is needed
concentrating on the influence of context on the learning process. Welton (1993) also
stresses the importance of bringing in both a historical and social context to learning,
hence understanding the social structures, institutions, and conditions of people's lives that
have bearing on learning and development. These recommendations reflect well on what
has been found empirically. Pines and Aronson's (1988) work on burnout in management
discovered there were “few significant and consistent personality correlates of burnout but
many significant and consistent job, work setting, and organizational correlates of
burnout” (p. 79). Berman (1994) notes that having a sense of vocation has both active as

well as reflective qualities to be studied. She writes, “[s]ustaining the call involves my

28

response to my initial commitment in different configurations of Space, in different periods
of time, and with different kinds of persons” (p. 10). In pulling these pieces together, and
recognizing that research methodologists also suggest that an individual's behavior must
be understood in context (Guba & Lincoln, 1994), the framework for this study includes a
focus on the individual learner as well as the organizational and social context of

environmental work.

Summary

In the children's television program, Blue’s Clues, Steve searches for Blue's paw
prints to know when a clue has been given to solve a problem The clues are then put
together and Steve sits down in his thinking chair and, voila, solves the mystery. If Blue’s
Clues could come to the aid of the environmental community, Steve would be handed the
following information: Little is known about the paid staff of small nonprofit
environmental organizations. It is a profession where there has been no established
training, no university curriculum, no career path, and few standards. What is known is
that the complexity of the work has the potential to lead to disillusionment with leaders
becoming overwhelmed and discouraged. A call has been heard from these individuals for
the need for personal refi'eshment and rejuvenation. Yet it is not known how to best
answer this call.

Knowing Steve, he would instantly set forth with his fiiend Blue, the big fi'iendly
dog, to figure out how to help these people. Clues would instantly appear. Clue number

one: It is suggested those choosing careers in the nonprofit environmental sector have

29

similar characteristics to those that experience a calling or vocation to the common good.
For these individuals a blurring can occur between the boundaries of their personal and
professional lives, with the meaning of their work taking on something grander than the
traditional concept of work.

Clue number two: Research on individuals who have overcome burnout in the
helping professions indicates learning plays an active role in their ability to regain work
commitment and enthusiasm. A need for continual learning, not only to keep up with
current developments in their fields but also to maintain enthusiasm and commitment to
their work, has been found to be crucial.

Clue number three: a theory base exists which focuses extensively on the close
linkage between learning and personal and professional growth. Research and theory
building on self-directed learning, critical reflection and transformative learning all can
potentially lend insight into avenues to understand the experience of the environmental
practitioner.

With all the clues in hand, Steve would then commence to his thinking chair. Yet,
rather than continuing to solve the mystery, which is how the show ends every day, Steve
would instead jump up and stop the Show. In order to help prepare and support
environmental leaders in their work, more information is needed. He would set off to
explore further how environmentalists are experiencing their work and the role learning

plays in sustaining passion.

30

CHAPTER 3

RESEARCH DESIGN AND METHODOLOGY

This research has been designed as an interpretive study with the purpose of
developing a deeper understanding of the role of learning in maintaining commitment to
one’s passions. Hypotheses are not being proven but rather insight is being gained about
the experience and needs of environmentalists working in small nonprofit organizations.

In this manner emphasis is on increasing the understanding of what is needed to serve as a
basis for development of supportive structures for these individuals. Through a qualitative
approach, focus is placed on constructing a close and carefirl reading of the meaning-
making processes of the people being studied. In doing so, an attempt is being made to
make sense of, or interpret, phenomena in terms of the meanings people bring to them
(Denzin & Lincoln, 1994). The research questions are:

1. What is the experience of strongly committed environmental activists
working in small nonprofit organizations?

2. What happens overtime to the commitment and passion environmental
activists bring to their work?

3. What role does learning play in maintaining long term commitment and
passion?

In this chapter, I clarify and outline the assumptions undergirding the study, the specific

methodology utilized, and discuss why I chose this methodological approach.

31

Articulating Assumptions and Theoretical Position

I bring to this work a blending of a constructivist and feminist theoretical
perspective. Both orientations engage in interpreting human action. A constructivist
orientation lends insight into my interest in learning as “meaning-making,” which resides at
the heart of much contemporary research and theory in adult learning. I believe that
individuals construct their own views of the world in ways that are meaningful to them.
By combining this with a feminist approach, I am recognizing that my positionality as
researcher (e.g., gender, class, values, work and life experiences) affects how data are
gathered, collected and analyzed and how knowledge is constructed and viewed (Denzin
& Lincoln, 1994; Tisdell, 2000). I also believe that the positionality of the research
participants must be a recognized component of the study.

Many different ways could be chosen to study the experiences and learning of
environmental activists, with the chosen method illuminating and obscuring different
elements. In designing the research, I looked to other investigations of people who have
been “called to care” to both learn fiom these studies and to suggest where new
discoveries and insights are needed. In these studies, both phenomenological and
ethnographic methods have been applied. For example, Daloz, Keen, Keen & Parks
(1996) applied a “modified phenomenological” model to their research of people working
for the common good. They used this approach to study a particular form of
consciousness, how people achieve it, and its implications. In doing so, they looked for
patterns suggesting something important about human behavior and potential. Building on

their findings, 1 will specifically focus on people working on environmental issues, hence

32

hoping to deepen the knowledge regarding environmental careers and environmental
conmritment.

Cherniss (1995) also applied a phenomenological approach to his research on
burnout and commitment and caring of human service professionals. He conducted
biographical interviews to delve into how professionals feel about their experiences and
see their world. This type of methodology was chosen to be sensitive to the feelings
expressed and the threads of meaning woven through the specific topics. The goal of his
study was discovery rather than verification, with a biographical approach providing
detailed accounts of the long-term process of development as well as access to some of
the important beliefs and assumptions that undergird people's behavior. He writes: “T 00
often, structured research methods get in the way of a penetrating exploration of how
people truly think and feel about their lives. It was important that the subjects be able to
tell their own stories” (p. 194).

Though Colby and Damon (1992) also chose a phenomological approach to their
study of lives of moral commitment, they went a step further than Daloz et a1. and
Cherniss in involving the research participants in the study. In Some Do Care, Colby and
Damon included the research subjects as co-investigators in the exploration of their own
lives through the use of an “assisted autobiography” methodology. The collaboration
between the researchers and research subjects extended from the exploration phase to the
interpretive phase of the research. Though the research subjects did not determine the
interpretive fiamework, they were aware of the fiamework and how it was being applied

to their lives and were given a chance to respond to the interpretations and findings.

33

Colby and Damon suggest this type of methodology allowed an avenue to preserve the
research participants’ own understandings and explanations.

Through an ethnographic approach Hansen (1995) used vocation as a conceptual
lens for his research to specifically provide a mirror for teachers to view their work. His
goal was to assist them in “anticipating the moral, the personal, and the intellectual aspects
of the vocation . . ." (p. 152). By sharing and reflecting on the experiences of four
teachers, he aimed to deepen the understanding of what creates a strong educator. As I
try to understand what leads to a strong environmental professional, Hansen's use of
vocation as an optimistic conceptual lens is fascinating. He has not resolved the myriad of
issues in teaching but instead exposes the concept of meaningful work. With few research
studies looking closely at environmental professiornls and what they bring to their job,
providing a mirror for activists to understand and interpret experience is a helpful model.
This is similar to Cole's (1993) work in The Call of Service, where he offers many stories,
conversations and observations about those who have lead lives of service: service to
community, charity, religious and/or country. He views his role as researcher as a
‘Wness trying to do justice through narration to lives” (p. 30).

In all of these studies, significance was placed on recognizing and listening to the
individual's point of view and gaining an understanding of the inner world of the people
being studied. Since both passion and learning are such individualized processes,
continuing with such an approach appears appropriate. Woven through each of these
studies was also an emphasis on telling people's stories. This emphasis is where I am

interested in pushing further. Within these studies, the stories told rose to the surface as

34

part of the data collection and analysis. Yet the stories, themselves, were not the object of
investigation. For this research study, a focus has been placed on the narrative itself, via a
process of narrative inquiry, as the methodology to dig deeply into the research questions.

In combination with narrative inquiry, this study is also grounded in Moustakas’
(1990) concept of heuristics. Applying a heuristic approach recognizes and builds upon a
direct personal connection between the research and researcher. As an executive director
of a small nonprofit environmental organization, I have autobiographical connections to
this research. In choosing to tie narrative inquiry with a heuristic approach, I am
acknowledging these connections rather than trying to keep the research separate from
them, which I conceive as an impossible task. In doing so, I am purposefully trying to
learn from the closeness rather than becoming encumbered by the closeness. As
Moustakas (1990) notes, “All heuristic inquiry begins with the internal search to discover,
with an encompassing puzzlement, a passionate desire to know, a devotion and
commitment to pursue a question that is strongly connected to one’s own identity and
selflrood” (p. 40). The power of combining narrative and heuristic inquiry is in the
strength each brings to the recognition of self-searching and the value of personal

knowledge as essential requirements for the understanding of common human experiences.

The Research Design
This study is based on the processes of narrative and heuristic inquiry, two
compatible research methodologies which both focus on gathering information in order to

be able to tell and interpret the stories of the research participants.

35

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Narrative Ingm’

Narrative research refers to any study that uses or analyzes narrative materials.
The data can be collected as a story (e.g., an interview) or in a variety of other manners
(e.g., field notes, journals, diaries, meetings). The concept of narrative and life story has
become increasingly visible in the social sciences over the past 15 years. It can now be
found in the theory, research, and application of a wide variety of disciplines including
education, psychology, psychotherapy, sociology and history (Lieblich, Tuval-Mashiach,
& Zilber, 1998). Narrative can be used to address real-life problems by approaching those
people whose lives are directly relevant to the issue at hand with a focus on exploring their
subjective, inner experience (Lieblich, Tuval-Mashiach, & Zilber, 1998), hence giving
prominence to subjectivity and identity (Reissrnan, 1993). In personal narratives, “it is
precisely because of their subjectivity-their rootedness in time, place, and personal
experience, in their perspective-ridden character” that they are valued (Personal Narrative
Group, 1989, p. 263-264).

For this study, narrative research is particularly appropriate as it can help provide a
framework to understand the past events of one's life and to plan for future actions
(Polkinghorne, 1988). It is a method to be considered when “real-world measures” are
needed for “real-life problems” (Bickman & Rog, 1998), giving voice to subgroups in
society who often remain silent. Based on the review of the current literature,
environmental activists working in small nonprofit organizations fit this category.

As Lieblich et a1. (1998) state: “We know or discover ourselves, and reveal

ourselves to others, by the stories we tell” (p. 7). The purpose of using narrative inquiry

36

for

10

Pl

3:

3i

1"!“

D)

for this study is to explore how environmental activists impose order on their experiences
to make sense of events and actions in their lives. Narrative has also been chosen to
provide a perspective on development that can enhance an understanding of learning and
change throughout the life course (Rossiter, 2000). By using this methodological
approach, I am studying how experience, conscious or unconscious, is organized,
interpreted and reshaped through the work and life experiences of being an environmental
activist. This type of methodological approach allows an avenue to explore the
interrelationships of individual and cultural narratives. I am assuming highly committed
environmental activists have stories to tell that others want and need to hear. Stories that
others can learn from. From my earlier description of the theoretical perspective I bring to
this work, and my hope that this research directly benefits those individuals being studied,
a narrative approach follows closely with my desire to make heard and learn from the
voices of those people working on a day-to-day basis in environmental careers.

Heuristic Ingm'

A fundamental reason for choosing to combine narrative inquiry with a heuristic
approach for this study is the attention heuristics gives to the relationship between the
researcher and the research. The heuristic researcher is both intimately and
autobiographically related to the question. As Moustaka (1990) states: “In heuristic
research the investigator must have had a direct, personal encounter with the phenomenon
being investigated. There must have been actual autobiographical connections. Unlike
phenomenological studies in which the researcher need not have had the experience . . .

the heuristic researcher has undergone the experience in a vital, intense, and hill way—if

37

not the experience as such, then a comparable or equivalent experience” (p. 14). He adds,
“The heuristic researcher . . . learns to love the question. It becomes a kind of song into
which the researcher breathes life not only because the question leads to an answer, but
also because the question itself is infirsed in the researcher’s being. It creates a thirst to
discover, to clarify, and to understand crucial dimensions of knowledge and experience”
(p. 43).

Heuristics is described as “. . . a process of internal search through which one
discovers the nature and meaning of experience and develops methods and procedures for
further investigation and analysis. The self of the researcher is present throughout the
process and, while understanding the phenomenon with increasing depth, the researcher
also experiences growing self-awareness and self-knowledge” (Moustakas, 1990, p. 9).
Heuristic inquiry includes searching and studying an experience, becoming fully immersed
in the phenomenon, and pursuing knowledge through both self-inquiry and observation of
and dialogue with people experiencing the phenomenon. Getting to the heart and depths
of a person’s experiences through qualitative accounts, such as depictions of situations,
events, conversations, relationships, feelings, thoughts, values, and beliefs, is at the core of
heuristic inquiry. In deciding to combine the two methodologies, I am bringing in
heuristics to enhance my understanding of what is occurring by utilizing another way of
looking at and thinking about the data. As Lieblich (1998) states: “Our basic position is . .
. that there is ample place for all of these approaches and methods, and that our

understanding of a question, a person, or a culture is enriched by this pluralism” (p. 167).

38

Data Collection

Data collection was structured around the exploration of the personal and
professional experiences of being an environmental activist working in a small nonprofit
organization. The methodology was fashioned in such a manner as to enable the
participants to express their own interpretations of the meaning of their commitment and
passion and how it relates to their professional work. In designing the study, three pilot
interviews of staff working in small nonprofit organizations were conducted as well as
interviews with representatives of the philanthropic community and the higher education
community. Based on this information and knowledge gained from the literature, methods
were designed which took seriously the participants' conscious articulation of their beliefs,
values and life histories with a focus on the importancethe participants, themselves, assign
to the events in their lives. In addition, attention was placed on how they see their
commitment, passion and learning in the context of their work.
Selection of Particip' ants

In designing the research, I was faced with the task of trying to identify highly
passionate and committed environmentalists working in small nonprofit organizations. I
followed the sample selection design of Herman and Heimovics (1990) in their study of
chief executives of nonprofit organizations (CEO). To choose their sample of “effective”
CEOs, they asked people occupying positions in which judgments about executive
effectiveness were required (foundation and United Way leaders and heads of technical
assistance and coalition organizations) to nominate those nonprofit CEOs whom they

considered to be highly effective. The nominators worked independently. When a CEO

39

received a nomination from at least two people, that person became part of the sample. I
implemented this type of process to identify 6 - 8 environmental professionals who have
sustained long-term commitment to their work in small nonprofit organizations in
Michigan. Michigan was set as a geographical boundary due to the funding criteria for my
research. “Long-term” was defined as having worked in the field for over 10 years. In
Michigan, 3 change in political leadership in 1990 found many environmental professionals
leaving governmental work and entering the nonprofit sector. “Small” nonprofit
organizations were defined as having a staff size of ten or less full time employees.

To select participants, I requested nominations from the funding community in
Michigan as well as individual groups working at the state level who interact with those at
the grassroots level (Appendix A). I received many nominations with nine individuals
receiving between two to four nominations. In hoping for the involvement of six to eight
participants for this study, via phone calls I requested the participation of all nine
nominated, knowing the potential that someone would choose to not be part of the study
or would choose to not complete their involvement. All nine agreed, however, to be part
of the study and all nine stayed involved throughout the entire time period. An informed
consent form (Appendix B) was shared and signed prior to the first interview. I later came
to find out one of the participants did not firlly meet the requirements of my study. She
had recently cut her work schedule back to halftime after the birth of a child. I decided to
keep her in the study and to watch carefully to see if her interviews appeared to be

different than the other eight. They did not and I chose to keep her as a participant.

40

Data Collection Instruments

A multi-step process for data collection and analysis was used. A series of semi-
structured interviews were the main instruments used to collect data. A pilot interview of
a stafl‘ member of an environmental nonprofit organization was conducted prior to the
initial interviews in order to examine the wording and relevance of different questions in
the interview format. Upon the completion of data collection via the interviews, a focus
group or group dialogue was conducted with seven of the nine participants to help verify
the trustworthiness of the data and to begin to interpret the findings. The focus group
was designed and conducted as a semi-structured group interview.
Data Collection Procedures

The interview process was conducted as a series of one-on-one interviews. Two
interviews were conducted with each nominated participant. The interviews were semi-
structured, tape recorded, confidential, and lasted between one to three hours. All
interviews were transcribed. Interview protocol was developed for the interviews and the
focus group (see Appendix C). The interviewees were given the choice of where to meet.
Six chose their office settings, two chose university meeting rooms, and one chose a local
restaurant as the location for the interviews. The first interview focused on the overall
experience of being an environmentalist in a small nonprofit organization. Prior to the
second interview, the participant’s “story,” or the transcript of their interview minus the
interviewer’s voice, was sent to each participant for their review (Appendix D). The
second interview was conducted approximately three to four months after the first

interview. The goal of the second interview was to probe firrther into an understanding

41

of the participant’s story. Specific questions focused on gaining a more concrete
understanding of commitment, passion, identity, and learning. The second interview
concluded with having the research participant design with crayons and markers the cover
illustration for a handbook focused on working in small environmental nonprofit
organizations. This procedure was used to illuminate and potentially capture ideas that
had not been generated via the one-on-one dialogue.

The semi-structured group interview was held approximately two months after
completing the second interviews and was facilitated by myself. This dialogue was used to
provide another level of data collection and to have the participants assist in doing a first
level interpretation of the findings from the interviews. The group interview was held in a
comfortable atmosphere in a bed-and-breakfast in a central location in Michigan. The
meeting was five hours in length with lunch served in the middle of the day. Different
activities were conducted as part of the interview, including reflective time and a group

drawing exercise designed to probe further into questions about learning.

Analysis and Interpretation of Data
Data were analyzed throughout the study. A prelimimry analysis was completed
after each interview. Data was coded and re-coded according to the constant comparative
method pulling preliminary patterns together until themes began to emerge. As part of the
analysis, summary vignettes for each individual or his or her “story” was written up and
sent back to each participants for feedback and for corrections to be made and omissions

added.

42

As is characteristic of both narrative and heuristic research (Lieblich, Tuval-
Mashiach, & Zilber1998; Moustakas, 1990), the data was analyzed from several
perspectives, including both holistically and categorically. A holistic perspective takes into
consideration the entire story whereas the categorical perspective focuses on separate
parts of the story, irrespective of the context of the complete story. Within these
perspectives, a focus was placed on content analysis as themes and patterns were
discerned from the narrative. In adding in a heuristic element to data analysis, a
composite depiction of the experience was also constructed. In doing this an emphasis
was placed on understanding how profiles that are unique to the individuals were also
characterizing the group as a whole.

In order to ensure rigor and establish trustworthiness of the results, attention was
placed on working closely with my dissertation committee to discuss interviews, ongoing
data analysis and the study conclusions as well as gaining feedback from the research
participants via the surmnary vignettes and focus group. This feedback helped to establish
the accuracy of my perceptions and conclusions.

In qualitative research, it is well recognized that changes in the design or method
of a study can occur during the middle of the implementation phase and are seen as the
hallmark of a maturing and successful inquiry (Guba and Lincoln, 1989). To accurately
trace these changes, hence addressing the dependability of my research design and
analysis, I have diligently kept a journal throughout the process of the study. In the

journal I have included important decisions that were mde about design or analysis. I

43

have made every effort to be objective while conducting this research. The participant

review of their stories, as well as their focus group feedback, aided in this effort.

Limitations

The major limitations of this study emanate from the methods utilized. Daloz et al.
(1996) acknowledge that the stories people tell about themselves may vary according to
the listener and the moment in the life of the storyteller. Hence, retrospective work or
drawing conclusions from stories that people have recomposed over time is fiaught with
risk. Choosing a munber of people to be studied and looking for patterns and themes
helps to increase the likelihood that the findings suggest something important about
passion, commitment and learning.

Without a comparison group, I do not know about those people who are not
considered passionate or committed to their work. I am not able to draw conclusions in
this regard. They could be a substantially difierent population or very similar. This
remains a grey area for another research study to discover.

An additional limitation of this study is the drawback of having one's identity too
closely reflected in one's research. My work as an environmental activist is both a positive
and potentially a negative for this study with regard to questions of subjectivity and bias.
As Hansen (1995) notes: "Webs can entrap and entangle, of course, rather than buoy and
support” (p. 136). I have struggled with this potential limitation. As an environmentalist
observing environmentalists, I want these individuals to succeed. I have been cognizant

throughout the research process of this potential limitation and strongly believe the

44

balance between entrapment and entanglement versus buoying and support is the key to

discovery and to the potential value of this research.

45

CHAPTER 4
FINDINGS
T 0 find fulfilling work is a gift of the soul.

Thomas Moore, 1992

Introduction
This purpose of this study is to shed light on the role of learning in sustaining
passion and commitment for work in small nonprofit environmental organizations. The
following interrelated questions have guided the exploration.

1. What is the experience of strongly committed environmental activists working in
small nonprofit organizations?

2. What happens overtime to the commitment and passion environmental activists
bring to their work?

3. What role does learning play in maintaining long term commitment and passion?
Upon completion of the interviews, an analysis of the interview data
demonstrates that commitment for environmental nonprofit work is supported and
sustained through a deep longing to improve the world, the continual fostering of
connections to humanity and to the earth, and an openness for continual learning about the
self. The research participants’ strong belief systems and systemic way of thinking drive
their work and fuel a continual evolution of their understanding of who they are within

their work and within the world.

46

Nine individuals were nominated for this study, six women and three men, each
exhibiting a strong passion for environmental work. To be part of this study, each person
had to receive at least two independent nominations as being highly effective and sustained
in his or her work. Most received three or four nominations. The nominators included
individuals working in positions which enabled them to have a broad knowledge of the
sector, such as positions in large private philanthropic foundations. To be nominated the
person also had to have at least ten years of experience in working in the nonprofit sector.
As a group, the number of; years of experience working as paid staff in the sector ranged
from eleven to eighteen years, with the average number of years being fourteen. On
average, an additiOnal three years of volunteer work proceeded their taking paid staff
positions.

All of the participants were white, representing the lack of diversity in the
environmental field in general. Their ages ranged fiom 34 to 54. Three participants were
in their thirties, five in their forties, and one in the fifties. Six are mrried or in a long-term
partnership, two are divorced, and one has never been married. Six have children, five are
with children still at home.

This is a highly educated group. All participants have received a minimum of an
undergraduate degree with eight out of nine having gone on for graduate work. Two of
the participants hold law degrees. The undergraduate educations obtained are diverse
ranging fi'om degrees in h'beral arts to degrees in the sciences, such as biology and
geology. The majority of the graduate degrees, if not in law, are in the natural resources

fields.

47

In the following discussions, the names of all participants, except Dave, have been
changed and their places of employment, educational backgrounds, and ages have not
been identified. Dave specifically requested to not have his identity hidden. The funding
for this research was directed at gaining a better understanding of the nonprofit
community in Michigan. Consequently, identity has been carefully concealed due to the
small size of the environmental community in Michigan and how simple it would be to put

the pieces together to identify a particular person.

Chapter Overview

The goal of this chapter is to weave together the voices of the studied participants
in such a manner as to begin to untangle the mysteries of cormnitment and passion and
illuminate the role of learning in sustaining passion. Trying to create order and meaning to
the wealth of infornmtion shared by the research participants is both thrilling and
immensely intimidating. The patterns which emerged were not orderly and tidy. The
activists’ voices have invaded my own psyche and I have been repeatedly struck by how
complicated, interconnected, and evolving are all of the messages. It is very diflicult to
think about the findings and subsequent interpretations in two-dimensional space. They
are shouting to be discovered, arranged, and communicated in the three-dimensional space
in which we live.

While working with the thoughts for this chapter, I found myself literally making a
paper collage of drawings and cut out images, in conjunction with the continual writing.

Both my computer and a 4 x 2 poster board became my mediums for understanding.

48

Many images are captured on the poster, images which represent the slowly unfolding
layers of understanding. In presenting this chapter, I have tried to capture the fluidity,
overlapping elements, and complexity which are present in the collage. One understanding
that I have come to, in the midst of cutting and pasting and crayons and computers, is that
the glue that holds the picture together, or holds the person together, is learning. It has
become impossible for me to think about sustaining commitment without an element of
learning involved.

In presenting the findings, one participant’s story is first shared in order to anchor
the findings in a concrete context. From there, a composite portrait of the activists of this
study is given to further depict the experience of working in a small nonprofit
organization. The final piece of the chapter is a description of the aggregate findings that

emerged fiom the interviews.

Part One: One Activist’s Story
I have a very clear image of the first time I met Dave Dempsey. I was taking an
environmental education course ofiered at a northern Michigan retreat center. As part of
the course, we had outside speakers coming to present to us. As the environmental
adviser to the governor, Dave was coming to talk about environmental policy issues. We
were relaxed and enjoying the calm ambiance of an evening in the northern Michigan
woods. In a long dark trench coat, Dave swept into the room. He was at the end of a

long day of running from one meeting to another. Where we were was not on the way to

49

anywhere. This probably only enhanced the aura that surrounded him of having too little
time to get anything done.

I don’t remember what he told us about environmental policy. Instead only images
have remained in my head fiom that evening. Images of a quiet well-liked man who
seemed to care deeply about the state of Michigan’s environment while being caught in the
frantic pace of the political process. I remember watching him with a sense of awe tlmt
somehow he had ended up in politics and also that he had chosen to make time in his busy
schedule for environmental educators.

Our paths have crossed at different times since that evening fifteen years ago, the
latest being when he was nominated to be part of this research study. Dave is currently
the Environmental Policy Specialist for the Michigan Environmental Council. His story
has been chosen to be shared because he specifically asked to not have his identity hidden.
The words are his own. Dave states that this is his story and it is the story he would tell to
anyone who asks.

Dave’s Stog

I got involved by accident almost 20 years ago. I came out of college at the age of
20, in 1977, in journalism I had no idea that I would end up working on environmental
issues. I worked in politics, actually worked in Washington for about a year and came
back to Michigan. While doing other things I volunteered for the Sierra Club. I think it
was basically because when I was a kid my family used to go up north in the summer all

the time. My grandparents lived up there and the Upper Peninsula seemed very beautiful

50

to me. I always wanted to do something to help protect that. I was on the board of
directors of the statewide Sierra Club in 1981. That’s when I started and really liked it.

I went to Pictured Rocks for my first camping trip when I was 24 years old. It was
kind of almost like a religious conversion. I was with these other Sierra Club people who
knew a lot more about camping than I did. But I remember just waking up on the shores
of Lake Superior on a beautiful rather chilly summer morning, hearing the waves pounding
against the rocks below and getting up and drinking my coffee, staring out and thinking,
“You know, this is really what I want to do with my life. This is what matters. Trying to
preserve these kinds of places so people after me are going to be able to feel this kind of
joy and peace.” So, I pretty much started thinking then about, well, how can I make this a
career? I had no idea even then how I would.

From the encouragement of fiiends at the Sierra Club I applied for a job at the
Michigan Environmental Council [MEC]. There was only one position at MEC. Salary
was $17,000 and I turned back $3,000 of it because basically they didn’t have enough
money to pay me that much. So I worked for $14,000. I was the staff. There was me
and my answering machine and a leaky roof and pigeons on the window ledge. It was sort
of in the rooftop suite, so to speak.

So that’s how it happened. That’s how I got started. Just sort of a series of
coincidences. Well, not coincidences, but things that just kind of steered me in that
direction. I’m glad it did too. I am lucky.

I don’t know how I did it at MEC. I guess I was so naive at the time tlmt I didn’t

realize how bad it was. I mean I was literally supposed to monitor and try to influence

51

positively every environmental policy going through the legislature and through the DNR
[Department of Natural Resources] at the time, also be the spokesperson to the press, get
our member groups in line to do the right thing and write letters, talk to the right people,
do a newsletter, balance the budget, write grants—you know, all this stuff. I didn’t realize
how formidable a job it was. It was really tough. It was really demanding. I had to learn
a lot fast and I was pretty lonely. I had some good fiiends on the Board, but it was hard.
I didn’t know anything about how to lobby either. I was just thrown into it, so I had to
learn the job.

In the early ‘90'3, when I worked at Clean Water Action and at MEC later, there
were about three or four staff people at both places. That’s enough that you feel that you
can share the burden if things get really overly demanding. But it’s still pretty much
everybody on their own because there is always more work than people. But there we Ind
somebody to answer the phones, which is nice. It was just a lot saner work environment.
It was kind of an interesting transition for me because I went fiom MEC into the
governor’s oflice and ran all the support stafi‘. I had my own secretary. I remember back
in ‘91 when I came back to Clean Water Action for a while, I thought, how undignified. I
have to address my own envelopes and put stamps on them. I don’t even think about that
now.

There are two hard parts to this kind of work. One is knowing when to
compromise and then the associated compromise. Most people are not brought into
environmental work because they want to save halfof a forest or because they want to

clean up half of Lake Michigan. They want to protect everything and save everything.

52

But the political process is obviously not built around absolute positions. It’s very, very
painful sometimes to settle for halfthe loaf or a tenth of the leaf. The other thing, there
have been times when the hours pile up to the point where, it’s kind of like a bad marriage,
where you give and give and give and you don’t feel like you’re getting much back.
You’re driving around the state, going to a public hearing in Traverse City and driving
back and staying up until three o’clock working on something. The alienation from the
physical, fiom the outdoors, that is required to do all this work is just really hard.

I make a point of taking outdoor trips every year and getting outside as much
around here that I can, even if it’s just driving to Sleepy Hollow to look for enjoyment and
hiking. I actually can feel that emotional reconnecting to nature. It’s an emotion, literally,
an emotion. If I have a hard time in my job or in my personal life, I’ll go to Sleepy Hollow
and I cry. I walk around crying-but that’s good. It heals the wound and let’s you start
over. It’s outdoor therapy. I think a lot of other—mostly environmentalists and
conservationists—do that too. There are a couple of places that I can go for a walk and I
really feel this, I might as well say it, I feel really accepted there. You know, welcomed.
It’slikelknowthisplaceandlcanjustbemeandthisplaceisfinewiththat. Anditis
kind of a relationship. There is just a lot of peace to it and consolation. So, it’s a
relationship in that way.

For most environmentalists that I know, including me, there is a spiritual element
to what we do. I hopefully use my rational mind in my work, but it really all stems fiom a
love of, in my case, I guess, Michigan and wanting to see Michigan remain beautiful for

other people. That’s a powerful fuel. When you do get to the burnout phase, what gets

53

you out of bed and when you lose, defeats, what makes you rebound is you’re not even
doing it for yourself, you’re doing it for the place that you love. If it was a nine to five
job, and I thought it was the correct thing to do but I didn’t have any heart’s attachment
to it, I would have quit a long time ago. I think there are relatively few walks of life that I
have experienced where you feel that a mass of people is drawn to it because they have
this emotional calling.

If you renew it, the heart is a renewable resource. If you get outdoors enough,
you will always get it renewed. I didn’t grow up with this understanding. I didn’t know it
until about 18 years ago. I’m very aware of it now. But I did grow up valuing the heart,
at least as much as the head, I suppose, with poetry and literature. It’s a back and forth
kind of thing, trying to understand it, mysteries of life fiom the heart’s perspective. To me
the heart, or spirituality, is a feeling of reverence for creation and a hope that one's work
or service is somehow honoring the creation and respecting it. It's about the mystery of
life. When you’re experiencing the wonders of nature, you feel there is meaning and
purpose behind the universe and that there is a loving force that has created this. It’s a
good thing to help nurture it, cultivate it, shield it fi'om destruction—try to perpetuate it. It
is a very sensitive subject.

Everybody in the movement I think knows that most of us are at least partially
motivated spiritually. To talk about it openly almost falls into the stereotype that some
opponents have, it's kind of like a pagan in religion, like some sort of a dark earth
worshiping thing. It’s not that at all. It’s not like I light candles to pagan gods. I just

believe that we have a duty to the earth and that there is a right and a wrong in relation to

54

the earth. Our task as a species is to learn to live more doing what’s right for the earth
and right for us too.

If you can’t get indignant about what is happening to the earth and a lot of its
habitants, I don’t know how you would continue either. I mean that’s a spiritual thing to
do. And anger, as long as it’s not irrational and destructive, is very healthy and certainly
called for at times when the political process trarnples on the environment, on people. I
don’t know how to articulate this without sounding like a bad mystic or a sexist. I don’t
think of nature as a “she” but I do feel an emotional attachment to it and when you get
angry, you feel like you’re defending it. It’s almost like you’re defending a fiiend or a
loved one. You know, for your husband or your children, you would do anything.

I probably wasn’t as comfortable with this when I started in advocacy. I was
brought up in a pretty civil rational household where when you talked about things you
didn’t raise your voice, but I still don’t yell a lot. Generally, I think peaceful warriors are
what we need to protect the environment right now, not people running out to bomb
things. We need people willing to raise their voices as necessary, at least blow the whistle
and try to get it to stop. I will do anything that’s not immoral to stand up for the earth.
That may mean raising my voice.

There are certain emotions, however, that you have to figure out a way to vent
privately, either because they’re counterproductive to being an effective advocate or
because they could destroy you. I mean, you can’t give into fear and pessimism. If I was
to sit down and look objectively at world environmental trends and population, I think I

would be in total despair or fear about imminent consequences. So, either it lingers on

55

and you don’t pay attention to that or you kind of acknowledge it in private and move on.
You learn very quickly in environmental advocacy that being a gloom and doom person
and saying things are really getting rotten, doesn’t help. Because people either get mad at
you for saying what they don’t want to hear or they just say, well if it’s so bad, then what
can I do anyway? So it is a little difficult. You have to figure out ways to deal with your
despair, fear, sadness, almost outside the public eyes. I have never found
environmentalists, as a group, to be able to get together and do that. I could get together
with a fiiend. Quite often, my fiiend is not an environmentalist, so I can just say, well you
know, I am just overwhelmed. Problems are out of control. I wouldn’t say that in a
speech

I think everybody gets to a point in their job where it’s just, I can’t do this
anymore. There are always cycles. I think it’s true of anybody, anyone, in work. It ties in
specifically with environmental work, I think, when you burn out because you’re not
making contact with the resource. And also if you are really going to do the job right, you
can do it for 24 hours a day and then you have no personal life. That’s really hard. Get’s
burn out fast.

I guess what burns you out frequently is . . . I don’t know how to put this exactly.
Sometimes the work is thankless, other than the paycheck, because either no one knows
when you’ve accomplished something because it’s pretty hard to run around and tell
everyone about it, if you are at all modest, or everybody is so busy doing their own thing

that they just don’t stop and notice. Also you can’t get excited about stopping bad things

56

from Imppening. So I guess the bigger burn out factor is just there really isn’t any
recognition.

I did take my victory lap last year and got a couple of plaques from the Sierra
Club. I’ve got them on my wall, but that doesn’t really mean as much as-well, this is an
example. When I was in the governor’s office, there was a really terrible time. You have
to develop kind of a crust in public life and I was still pretty new working on the staff.
Every time the governor was criticized on environmental policy, it would kill me. I
remember having totally bleak weekends. Often it was my own fiiends criticizing me and
my boss. While this ugly thing was going on, a fellow environmentalist sent me a note at
home. She said something like, “I know it’s a hard time for you, but what you’re doing is
really important and people later on will thank you for it and thank the governor for it, and
if you need to talk, well, just give me a call.” And I’ve saved that. That was 15 years ago.
And just last Friday, I would never do this to anybody else but I basically told people that
I had a meeting. It was with this same fiiend. Well, all we did for our meeting was meet
and go for a walk in the woods and just talk. So that kind of recognition, when fi'iends
have noticed that I was struggling or when I have noticed that they were struggling and
we’ve reached out to each other, that’s the kind of recognition that really matters. That’s
the kind that will renew you more than any number of honors will.

There is some of that in our community, which is good. There are a lot of really
nice people in environmental policy. Sometimes to a fault in terms of getting their work
done. We’re not effective politically because of it but the question is always, do you want

to give it up—give up your niceness and become bad and crusty and mean like the other

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side—er you think the other side is sometimes? I guess the answer is no. It’s better to be
humane.

There are two kinds of fim in environmental work. One is the one that everybody
thinks about and that’s that you’re making a difference. And I think most of the people
that I know, whether it’s in environmental groups or environmental agencies of
government, are attracted to the field because they really care. You know they want to.
It’s not just like, well this is way I can make a living. It’s something flat has to do with
almost their spirituality. It is for me. That they’re hulking a difference, that it is going to
help people who aren’t born yet, and it is somehow tied with the belief tlmt nature is a part
of the creation that needs to be treated with respect. So there is that reward if you feel
that you’ve made a slight advance and it is going to protect creation and help the people
who aren’t around.

And the other is just the kind of—which is frankly less strong—is the feeling of
camaraderie and collegiality. There is this feeling that everybody is pitching in and
working together to get something done. It’s bigger than us individually. So there is
some of that, but fiankly the environment movement in this state is kind of fragmented and
decentralized. Decentralized is okay. Fragmented and busy, overworked, is too hard.
People really don’t have time to sit down and just visit.

I lmve to say maybe it’s just my personality, not common to other people,
sometimes I feel as if I stand back a little bit from the environmental movement. Certainly
I am on the calendar with all of my peers, with what they believe in, what they care about,

but having not planned to be an environmental professional, I guess, I don’t know. It’s

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otl

thi

ill

hard to say. I’m both in it and out of it. I mean, it is pretty low priority to hang out with
other environmentalists. It’s starting to change, but I guess all I’m trying to say is I don’t
think of myselfas the same as a lot of the other folks. I guess there are a lot of loners in
the environmental movement. I think people pretty much keep to themselves, other than
folks who have been around a long time. I don’t know what that says.

The environmental movement, for the people in it, it’s all about wounds and
healing them and I think a lot of people unconsciously are trying to heal their own pain. I
certainly am. I’ve become more conscious of it as the years pass. It’s some lofty
abstract-sort of healing yourself too. I became more aware of this as I got older. I mean,
after you’ve rmde the same personal mistakes forty three times you begin to see a pattern,
wow, maybe that’s why. I am sure it is true in the other healing professions also. Make
up for some kind of a loss that you had.

Even after I got into this work, I wasn’t really thinking that it was a life time
career. It just sort of happened. And now it’s evolving again. I’ve enjoyed advocacy for
a long time but I’m pretty tired of it right now because we aren’t making much progress.
I guess that I’ve concluded that for me having a better chance of making change happens
by changing people’s hearts and minds than by changing statutes. I don’t know if I am
ever going to see the change that I want fiom amending a certain house or senate bill or
getting a governor to do something. Bigger change has to come from all of us. That’s
probably best done through the arts than through politics. I mean when you do have

successes, you feel a transcended feeling. A lot of environmental books that I see really

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make a mistake by trying to make it sound like it’s a science. Advocacy is not a science.
There are good reasons it’s not a science. It’s an art.

I will, one way or the other, be working on this the rest of my life. It is my life
commitment. I’m committed to the earth. It’s committed to me after all. The least I can

do is give back.

Part Two: A Composite Portrait

Having listened closely to one participant’s story, a composite sketch helps to
bring the other participants into the story. The composite participant of this study is a 42
year old white female serving as either the executive director or director of programming
of her organization. She is seen as a leader within the organization and a leader within the
environmental community. Holding a graduate degree from a major mid-western
university, she has served in her organization for a little over ten years and in her current
position for the majority of the time. Her responsibilities include providing leadership,
administration, and often vitality for either the entire organization or a significant
percentage of programs, though she would be humble in telling you this is what she does.

The “Activist” sees her work in the environment as helping to make the world a
better place by protecting and improving the quath of life for firture generations. She has
strong convictions and feels lucky that she has found her work and her work has found
her. She grew up in a household of social activism and she sees her environmental
emphasis as an avenue to work for social change. Not having grown up planning an

environmental career, she is actually surprised by her own commitment and convictions to

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her work. She can trace back her interests in the environment to natural experiences
growing up, camping trips or special woods near her house, yet she entered college not
pursuing a natural resources degree. Volunteer activities either during or after college
sparked her interest in working to protect the environment.

Her organization is a membership-based advocacy group, conducting both
education and advocacy work. When asked to describe a typical day, the Activist
responds with a resounding, “There is no such thing as a typical day.” If anything, a
typical day would be described as a day of interruptions, trying to focus on getting a
project done and being interrupted. The interruptions might be a phone call fi'om a
landowner calling about well water problems, a teacher wanting to understand about the
toxicity of paints being used in the classroom, a citizen reporting an oil spill, or a state
employee calling about endangered species regulations. A typical day would involve some
writing and some reading: writing an article for a local newspaper, writing something
internally, writing the newsletter, writing grant proposals, writing grant reports, writing
testimony. The reading is hard to do because of the phone calls, therefore reading
materials will often be taken home at night. If the phone is ringing, it has to be answered,
and she is quite likely to be the one answering it. Some days might involve going out in
the field, whether to do a field trip for someone, a site visit, or to check on a particular
land use project. But the predominant amount of work is in the oftice, including staff
management. The day could be described as a cycle of “phone, computer, files, meetings,

phone, computer, files, meetings, phone, computer, files, meetings.” A typical day would

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end by not accomplishing the tasks set out at the beginning of the day. It is a process of
chipping away at the bits and pieces.

When asked what is the hardest part of the work, the Activist’s answer can be seen
in the sign that hangs above her desk: “You have the power to say no.” The hardest part
is the pressing number of issues that need to be addressed and the difficulty in saying “no”
to all of the requests. Combined with this is the fact that personally and professionally, the
Activist cares about the issues. While victories can be very good, the defeats or the
compromises feel horrendous. Correspondingly, the pace of change is so slow that it adds
to the lack of sense of victories. It is difiicult sometimes for her to accept the fact that her
efforts and the efforts of her organization are having an impact without seeing concrete
results. In specifically giving a name to the hardest components of her work, the Activist
suggests: money, power, and resources. Money and resources to get the work done,
power to make a difference, to make a change.

The easiest part of the work is in some ways also the hardest. Getting into an
issue and really wrestling with it is something she finds compelling. She finds she can
almost not not do it. If she gets a call fi'om someone who says “help me,” she will easily
spend an hour or more on the phone talking to the person. Figuring out a way to help is
challenging, and the challenge to work on something she loves is easy. She feels driven to
do the work.

In talking to the Activist, a sense of a person feeling overwhelmed by the
irmnensity of the tasks before her and the graveness of the issues comes out. She suggests

you have to be able to work on your own and set your own objectives, to be

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self-motivated because you are not part of an assembly line. While feeling proud of her
work, she speaks quietly of times of burnout. In offering words of wisdom for others
working in similar positions, she suggests remembering to have fim as well as keeping the
faith that you are right in your actions when the world around you is trying to say, “No,
no, you are wrong.” Yet she likewise counsels to not let the confidence turn into
righteousness. There is a difference between being right about the work being done and
being absolutely right, knowing all of the answers. Part of keeping the faith also includes
a sense of spirituafity which involves a connection to the earth and a connection to
humanity. She has a strong need to remain connected to the out-of-doors, with natural
experiences being an important component to staying refreshed in her work. Ironically,
however, at times she still looks longingly at other livelihoods. Yet she knows that no
matter what she will be doing in the future, it will somehow focus on making the world a

better place.

Part Three: Aggregate Findings
Parker Palmer (1997) suggests that three important paths exist in understanding
the inner landscape of a teacher’s life: intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. These three
paths also adeptly capture the complex components of sustained commitment for
environmental activist work, yet slightly different words were used in the interviews. The
activists spoke about head, heart and spirituality. Head refers to the use of logic,
rationale, and thinking which is employed in decision making. Heart refers to the deep

feelings and emotions the activists both bring to their work and experience within their

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work. Spirituality refers to the numerous connections which provide the grounding to
their work and their lives. An important component of this study’s findings is how the
activists make meaning of the intertwining of the three, a process led by an openness to
learning. Also strongly apparent through the interviews was a depth of knowledge the
activists lmve about their own needs, their passions, core values, and strong connections
to the world. As a group, the activists are well anchored in their convictions. Their
determination to be effective helps fuel an openness to an understanding of what drives
both themselves and others, and a willingness to always have a “beginner’s mind.” As
they push forward in their understanding of who they are, they are continually cultivating
their own commitment.

The first part of this chapter has focused on the question: What is the experience
of strongly committed environmental activists working in small nonprofit organizations?
With the underpinning being the experience, the following sections highlights the head,
heart and spirit connection in order to probe the two questions: What happens over time
to the commitment and passion environmental activists bring to their work? What role
does learning play in maintaining long term commitment and passion?

Passion and commitment overtime

As can be seen in both the composite sketch and Dave’s story, the activists of this
study identify closely with their work and are working on issues which evoke strong
emotions. They are systemic thinkers and feel strong connections to both nature and
humanity, allowing their decisions to be driven both by emotions and information. As

Dave notes, he uses his rationale mind in his work but it really all stems fiom a love of

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nature. For others in the study, the love might be for their community or for the people of
the world. A deep sense of caring is evident as the activists discuss the merging over time
of head, heart, and spirit.

Hid. A strongly reflective quality was evident in the way the activists talked
about coming to understand issues and making decisions in their work. Within this
reflection were two strong patterns of underlying unwavering assumptions that could be
heard throughout the interviews. First, the activists bring to their work a clearly systemic
view of the world and, second, a deep sense of being right in this view. Both of these
modes of thinking are important components to their sustained commitment to their work.

Throughout the interviews, the activists were careful to note the complexity of
environmental issues in the midst of world problems and the importance of identifying the
various connections. Helen puts it simply, “What happens in Bonn and what will happen
in South Africa has everything to do with what I eat here in my little house in Michigan.
And making that connection, I think is hard. . . . This isn’t about some far away abstract
concept. This is about what you eat in the fish that you consume from this basin, if you
consume fish. It’s about what you breath, because the stuff comes through atmospheric
deposition. . . . Environmentalists have to make those links.” Later in the interview she
spoke in more detail about this manner of drinking and understanding and the importance
it has for her work.

I now sort of see that this range of issues that I am interested in, and that I

think are important in the world, justice issues and people’s connection to

the natural world, that they are linked. That there are a whole lot of them.

That they’re about the same kinds of things and so to work in one area, if
we lmve a particular focus on one area, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t a

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link to another cause. So that has been an important evolution for me and
it has made me feel better about the work that I do. Because I feel like it is
more integrated and it’s more . . . fundamentaL you know, more about

primary problems.

Ben describes how a systemic way of thinking pushes him to understand “how we
interact with each other and . . . relate to and influence how we interact with the earth.”
He notes,

Our culture and the way that we live and our disconnection has really

fimdamentally disrupted important life giving positive, sustaining

interactions between each other . . . [T]his work is a way to start talking

about that. . . . [T]hose things feel so primary and important. And to be

working on them, if I put my work in that context, it feels

important-sustaining.

In the interviews, the activists were careful to not identify issues as black and white
and often talked of coming to an appreciation of the diversity of life, diversity of opinions
and diversity of experiences. Abigail talks about the necessity to constantly step back and
ask about people with opposing views, “What are they actually doing out there? Who are
these people, and why are they doing this?” In applying a systemic approach to their
work, the activists voiced the recognition that they don’t know all of the answers. Saslm
states, “You can’t split things and say this is the right side and this is the wrong side
because you never can tell. There is so much going on that we just don’t have any idea.”
Yet in pursuing answers they are firmly grounded in the belief that their systemic way of
thinking is the only alternative. As Steven discusses this tension:

We often get discounted for being on the extreme edge, of being loose with

the facts, not having the science down, and so it is always being suggested

that out there in the world that we are wrong. And the thing is that we

may not always have the proof that our various institutions require of us.
We know, we know that we are right. And so I think that is an important

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way of keeping on because you have to believe that because there are so

many obstacles, you’d give up. So you have to kind of know that you are

right even when the world around you is trying to say, no, no, you are

wrong.
When asked to give a term that would describe the underlying conviction for her work,
Dara states, “It’s righteousness. It’s like, yeah, I might be tired, but I’m right. I might go
down with the ship, but I’m right. It’s not as absolute as that or black and white as that. I
hope to think that I am not so rigid, but it is kind of this righteousness.” Steven remarks,

There is a difference between being right about the work we are doing and

being absolutely right, knowmg all of the answers. And I think it is

dangerous. I hate to find myself using that word but it is at least highly

problematic to be going around in this work thinking that you know all of

the answers or that you know better than everybody else because then it

doesn’t allow any room for reexamining your assumptions. And I think

some times we are not exactly absolutely right. I think we have to know

that we are right about what we are advancing, but there should be an

openness to reexamining the measures that you’re advancing to get there.
Abigail sums up well the importance of this mode of thinking to sustaining commitment.
“Even when we don’t succeed, which is way too often, we still have the positives of

knowing that we have done everything we could, and you know, we’re right.”

Heart; Though a blending of head and heart has brought many of the activists into
their line of work, the acceptance of emotions as an important part of work has not been
easy and has come with time and effort. It has required a confidence that both emotions
and information are necessary for decision making. In this acceptance, the activists are
bucking societal norms and observe it is often perilous to openly admit emotions are a part
of decision making. Megan notes, “I don’t think our society has changed to actually

acknowledge and respect emotional responses to things. They still just, well . . . look at

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the facts. I see that at school board meetings. I see that at other public hearings. So I’m
not sure that we’re changing as much as maybe the folks who are in the field long enough

are deciding that, you know, I don’t really care what the response is going to be at the
other side because this is legitimate.” She goes on to add:

One of the things that I think is very, very hard for people to learn is to
trust their instincts and to trust their heart and their gut. And certainly this
has to make sense, it has to be logical. What I’ve been trying to do is add
the element of emotion into some of these decisions that are being made
and people are saying, “That’s just emotional or sentimentalism!”l say,
“Well, tough!” You know? Why is it any less legitimate? And so we’re
trying to sort ofinstill a semblance ofreason as a part of, as opposed to
just, it’s got to be all heart or all head.

Abigail refers cynically to the use of facts rather than emotions as “playing the game.” She
notes, “I think we tend to shy away fiom these kinds of things. We feel we need to play
the game that somebody else has set out there, which is we need to defend ourselves in the
context that is available to us with just the factual and scientific context.” She speaks at
length about these issues helping to illuminate also how important it is to have colleagues
who also embrace the connection of emotions to intellect.

[There] is the desire to say we’re not just emotionally connected . . . to de-
emotionalize firings. And one of the best types of advice that I have gotten
[was fi'om] a woman who used to be a staff person. I worked with her for
many years. What was interesting, as people were trying to de-emotionalize
these issues and say, we’re all about science, we’re all about that, we’re all
about this, was her saying: It does matter. It does nutter that we care and
we need to make sure that people understand that. There is a reason to go
beyond the simple facts and to assure that we put that emotional element in
there. It’s not competing with the facts, but it has to be there because
that’s why we do this. If we pretend it’s simply that we believe in the facts
and that’s all we care about, that’s just not true.

The Wilderness Bill may have done more for me in setting this kind of
concept in place because the primary sponsor in congress is Congressman

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Dale Kildee, who has gone to seminary and he speaks from the heart about
these issues. And you could see that in the stuff that he talked about. This
mattered. It mattered morally. It mattered ethically. It mattered also

emotionally.

You know, caring has always been a part of our human nature and those
who seek to do damage to the earth or seem not to think that it matters
that they do damage to the earth, have lost something. They have lost that
caring and they’re arguing to get away from that because that’s the only
way they win. If we have no values, they win. If we care and we have
values, then they always lose because people do care.

Every time we strip emotion fiom these issues, we lose something.
Because it’s not just a balance book. I mean this may be one reason why
the concept of cost-benefit analysis drives most of us nuts, because we
cannot calculate the true cost or the true benefits of most of the issues that
we’re talking about. What’s the value of having your health all the time?
Well yeah, somebody can put an equation to that, but it doesn’t mean
anything. What’s the value of allowing people to reproduce because
they’re not ingesting chemicals that prevent reproduction? What’s the
value of having a beautiful forest?

As we evolve ourselves, there are still these things that are based to our
being as humans and we need to recognize that there is a reason why those
things are still there, why we have emotions, why we care about stufi. And
information is a tool of some sort. It’s used routinely as a tool for shaping
things, for making things happen and emotion is part of that. Caring is part
of that. And regardless of the why behind that, it’s there and we need to
recognize that. Now that doesn’t mean you still don’t have to make that
argument from the scientific basis. It doesn’t mean tlmt you still don’t have
to make that argument from a factual basis. But it means if somebody says
well you’re emotional about it, I mean maybe your response should be,

“Yeah, you bet I am.”

_S_p_ir_i_t. Abigail’s words convey a deep caring and a deep connection to the natural
world. This connection depicts a spirituality which was widely present in the words of the
activists. The interviewees could be described as a group of individuals who had a strong

sense of the spiritual. Many participants discussed their strong connection to the physical

world, the comfort they receive from this relationship, and the motivation it provides to

69

their work. As Dave noted earlier, “I just believe that we have a duty to the earth and that
there is a right and a wrong in relation to the earth” Dave suggests this reaction could be
described as your heart opening to the issues. Emily astutely suggests that working in the
environmental field is not going to make a person popular, famous or wealthy, rather her
motivation is “a spiritual value. It’s fulfilling.” She continues,

I think it is the spiritual value in natural systems and how they fimetion and
the moral and ethical need for human beings to live in harmony with those
systems. . . . I feel it is a very deep moral ethical issue and I think it is very
energizing during your work week to work at something that is primarily
for myself. For an awful lot of people . . . they go to work and do
whatever they have to do and then in their extra hours when they are
already tired and have had enough and have other things to do, then they
hope to be able to have some time to address what are those kind of issues.
I think it’s a real benefit to be able to do it during work hours and that’s
what keeps me charged.

Ben talks about his earliest recognition of connecting his love of the outdoors with

spirituality.

I was raised Catholic. I went through catechism and first communion and
all that stufi’. But my mom, given sort of the transcendentalist that she was,
at about you know maybe-I think I was-it was before the confirmation so
whenever Catholics go through confirmation at 12 or 13. We are coming
home fiom church and she said, “You don’t really seem to be enjoying it as
much.” And I said, “I’m not.” And she said, “Well, why?” And I told her.
I think the main reason was that I thought it was really-it was becoming—I
was really starting to notice the hypocrisy, and you know how the most
biased people in the neighborhood were really jerks and their connection to
humanity and their interest in sort of following the teachings of Christ were
limited to about an hour and a half on Sunday and the rest of the time they
were not the kindest people that you could imagine. And so she said, “Do
you want to keep going to church?” And 1 said, “No, I’d much rather
not.” And she basically said, “Well, how will you take care of your soul.”
And I said, “Well, you know, I’ll spend time out in nature,” because that’s
the only place, I was 12 years old, the only place that I had ever
experienced anything close to the sort of magic of what spirituality is trying
to teach was when I was in nature. And you know, given my mom would

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read Thoreau and Emerson to me, said it’s a perfectly great place to
experience God, whatever that is. So she sort of let me go. So when she
would go off to church with my sister, I would go down to the swamp on
the river.

As an adult Ben has purposefully set out to understand spirituality in society

better, as well as his own needs as a spiritual person, and how spirituath relates to citizen

involvement in community. He notes, “One thing I think is important for me to keep in

mind is that, to be honest with myself, I am not doing this out of any intrinsic sort of love

for nature. . . . It’s that people element and how we relate to each other and how we relate

back to the earth. It’s sort of a psycho social thing that fuels me.” Later in the interview,

in describing his deep interest in spirituality, he shares:

One of the things that I think is interesting about humans, and this might be
a genetic flaw, an evolutionary flaw—is that we try to make meaning of our
experience, whether it is something horrible like [a death in the family] or
something like, you know, what you do for your living. . . . So, one of the
things that I was looking at was okay, how do we as a species make
meaning of our experience. Some people really challenge themselves to try
to make meaning of that. Other people turn to other resources to make
meaning, whether that be the Bible or Vanity Fair, or whether they sort of
enmesh themselves in modern messages of what’s meaningful or traditional
messages of what’s meaningful.

Though the actual term “spirituality” was not always heard in the interviews, a

deep connection between people and society as a whole and between people and the

environment was strongly present. Helen talks about the overlap between head, heart and

spirit.

I just have a pretty deep well of outrage about stufl‘. . . . I’m constantly
learning new things that I find really outrageous. Outrage can come from
love. Anger can to, but you know, if you can still manage outrage—you
know your sense of justice, your sense of the world, you don’t become so
cynical that nothing generates any feeling, right? So that outrage is really

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important, but then how one acts—the impulse when used to act on it is a
separate issue for me. And I think acting out of love means [pause] it’s
hard to describe without a specific case. But I think there are differences,
that the way it manifests itself is different. You can’t always tell whether

someone is acting out of love or anger, except that it just—that anger burns

the candle on both ends essentially. And it does wear one out. And I think

that the spirit isn’t as pure somehow. Acting in a sense of love is, you

know, like you have a connection to other people that is critical and that’s

the major motivation.
Helen continues on to suggest that “the only way you can do this work in a sustained way
is out of love. And I use that word very advisably, and I mean it most sincerely, that love
is what must drive the work. And love is what drives the work in the people that I most
admire and then the people who stay in it over the long term.” She describes love being
for “the people who you work with and the people who . . . live in these places, and your
own family, and your children if you have them or your nieces or nephews and new babies
being born to your friends and also the place where you live and the stream that you know
and the tree that you know and then, you know, also more abstraetly sort of love of
humanity or whatever.” Helen’s words fit precisely Dave’s definition of passion: “The
ability to invest emotionally in what you’re doing. It’s not just an abstract duty or
obligation, but a feeling that this is good and you really believe in it from the heart.
Passion is, you know, the fueL whether it’s from anger or love that makes the work
possible.” Over time he has come to recognize that his sense of spirituality grounds him in
his commitment to work stating, “[I]t’s a feeling of reverence for creation and a hope that

one's work or service, as I would think of it, although we are paid for it, is somehow

honoring the creation and respecting it. It's about the mystery of life.”

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Raisio_r_1. Throughout the process of this research, I have grappled with the
question, “What actually is passion?” A general dictionary definition defines it as “any
powerful or compelling emotion or feeling; strong affection; love.” Being passionate is
defined as “influenced or dominated by intense emotion or strong feeling; expressing or
revealing strong emotion” (Random House Dictionary, p. 972) Within the group
interview, a definition used by the group interjected an active component to the Random
House definition. A summary definition which arose during the day described passionate
as “being engaged with more than your mind—being engaged with your body, your heart
and your spirit . . . sort of having a fire.” As one participant remarked, “I don’t sustain
[passion]. It’s like the internal flame.”

The convergence of h% heart and spirit: Leadmg' mem’ ful lives

Palmer writes, “Intellect, emotion, and spirit depend on each other for wholeness”
(1997, p. 15) One of the pieces that emerged from the interviews was the importance of
the activists’ work to their sense of leading meaningful and authentic lives. The
importance of their work being directly linked to their passions, to their very being of who
they are, their identity or their self, appears to provide a grounding to sustain commitment.
This may be what Palmer is referring to as ‘Vvholeness? Dara expresses this sentiment.
“In that soul searching that I’ve done, this has felt really right and good for me. . . . It
hasn’t felt like, oh, there are other rungs of the ladder that I want to continue to climb, so
therefore I’ve got to leave the nonprofit and the environmental world. It’s like you know

in this world, this has been good for me.”

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The career mirror. An indicator of the synergy between the activists’ work and
who they are materialized in their discussion of career, specifically as a reluctance to apply
the term “career” to their work. Some almost shunned the term as if it negated
commitment. In Abigail’s words,

You’re compelled to do this work. Career is almost an understatement.

Career almost makes it sound like it’s getting yourself to a point and—l

mean you know-it sort of sounds like a gold watch at the end of the chain

and your pension and that’s all. And this is different because you would do

it regardless and getting paid to do it is pretty amazing.

I asked Dara at what point she realized her professional life as an environmentalist
had become a career. A veteran in the environmental movement, Dara looked surprised
by this question and laughed, “You know what’s fimny? I probably still don’t think of it
asacareer,soto speak. . . .Ihaveto sitbackandsay,yeahitis. Idon’tthinkithas
dawned on me.” She proposed that her conception of “career” probably comes fi'om her
guidance counselor many years ago in high school where for-profit work was the focus.
“A career was not working in nonprofits. It wasn’t the definition.” In this same mode,
Ben bluntly suggests, “Working for a little nonprofit and having an office that’s the size of
a janitor’s closet is not what people envision for themselves, you know, when they’re on
the cusp of potential firture greatness.” He adds,

I think part of it really comes down to how do we see ourselves in terms of

the world of work. And because the environmental work and even

nonprofit work is not respected in our culture, you know, it’s not like kids

grow up—“I want to be an environmentalist”—you know, it’s like doctor,

lawyer. On that list of things to do, environmentalist is not on the list. And

so I think part of it is just a sort of cultural ignorance. It’s not really even

known as an option until you’ve spent some time working and learning and
following your passion, and becoming exposed to a lot of different ways of

being.

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Megan adds that in defining career there is the element of for whom the work is oriented.
She states,

I am dedicated to the work that I am doing and to the cause, but the word
“career” for me means that it’s totally for yourself. You know, that you’re
doing your career in order to accomplish your own personal goals which
would be money presumably and stature and power that you see as
relevant, but being dedicated to work, I think, is a little different. That’s
just sort of to accomplish particular objectives for other people. So I feel
that I am dedicated to this place. I am dedicated to the environment and I
am dedicated to, you know, on a personal level living simply and those
kinds of things. So I feel that I am dedicated to the work of water quality
protection and the environment, but I am not career motivated. It’s not as a
career, you know. I am an environmental protection person.

Interestingly, as the activists told their stories it became evident that many were
surprised to find themselves years later still in environmental work. Their stories also
indicated that choosing a path that does not meet societal expectations is not always easy
and requires a strong understanding of what drives them in order to push forward. Helen
laments,

There isn’t much respect for it. And so, you know, one year I was voted

most likely to succeed in my little high school. And all my colleagues, you

know they are physicians who have appointments at teaching at universities

and one fiiend of mine is the second top lawyer at [a] university and the

other one is one of the heads of [a major corporation]. 1 mean these are

people in my small school, right? All these people have gone onto these

more classic, you know . . . work lives and have all the trappings associated

with that. And so . . . I think that remains a crisis. You know, what is the

public recognition for this kind of thing?

As Helen is suggesting, the underlying motivations for a career working on environmental

issues are not money, power, prestige. At a mid-life point in her own development,

Abigail talks about these struggles.

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At the age where a lot of my friends, a lot of relatives, are reexamining
their work, they’re saying now maybe I want to shift careers and do
something else and going back to school or whatever. . . . Every time that
happens, I sort of go back and do a little bit of a mental accounting. Do I
want to do this? Even things like the potential applying for a different kind
of job within the environmental community and doing something in a
different way. And I go back and do an accounting, not terribly
consciously, but just sort of, is this what I want to do? I mean, I didn’t get
trained in this. I just sort of am here for a lot of reasons, but it wasn’t a
conscious choice. And each time that I step away from that, I say, I still
have work to do. I have things that I care about. I have this agenda, even
though I can’t tell you what the end point is on it, there are things that I
want to accomplish in this work and they take a long time. They’re
measured in decades as opposed to a few years. My perception of myself
in work is pretty much intertwined with those issues that, while I don’t
think it is essential that I be there for those issues to be carried out, I know
that if I’m there I will work on them and I will make them happen if I can.
So the two do sort of get tied together. And that can be a problem at times.
[For example, if] your grant lapses . . .well, you know . . . we’re going to
do this anyway, aren’t we? . . . I mean you’re compelled to do this work.

A wholeness. As can be heard fi'om the voices above, the activists of this study
like their work and their jobs and strongly identify with their work. Their work blends
their personal and professional identities with, for the most part, little conflict between the
two. A wholeness exists. A deep love and caring for humanity as a core value has
revealed itselfas work in the environmental field. There is a strong sense of the work
filling a need to be directly connected to the world and a desire to work for the common
good. Abigail suggests, “I needed to do something like this in order to feel fulfilled
personally. And so, for me, that is probably the main reason that I am in this for the long
haul.” When Sasha states, “I’m about this whole slew of things . . . and my interest and

passion has become nranifested in environmental work,” she appears to be giving voice to

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wlmt many others have also experienced. Steven talked about how his personal and
professional values and comnritrnents blend.

There is a way in which being in this line of work blurs the lines. It is a

way of life. Whether you are getting paid for it or not, you’d probably go

to that meeting that took you away from your family or other things that

you might be doing because you actually cared about whether your

neighborhood or your community or the woods far away were going to be

affected by some action.

The blurring of the lines between personal and professional can also be heard in
Dave’s statement about choosing environmental work. He notes, “It’s not about, you
know, it’s not a calculation, it’s a bit of home.” For these activists, the convergence of
the head, heart, and spirit has found itselfin meaningful work. Illuminating a wholeness in
this convergence, Dara questions the motto “service above self.” She cautions, “Service
above selfis a great career . . . but you don’t sacrifice oneselfin that whole process.
Some selfis absolutely essential and some service to selfis absolutely essential.” It
appears finding this balance is a matter of continually uncovering who you are and who
you want to be in a culture that often works against this process. In this uncovering
process a continual eye to the future could be heard in the activists’ stories.

The future. The activists of this study, all long term environmentalists, surprisingly
did not stand united in their feelings about necessarily being in their current jobs or
profession for the long haul. As can be heard in Abigail’s previous sentiments about mid-
life questioning, a continual “checking in” of the self could be heard. All the activists

described a continual growing and expanding of their interests. For some, this growing

continues to fuel their interests in their present activities. Emily notes that she doesn’t

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necessarily picture always doing all the day-to-day kinds of things in her work, she is not
even sure whether she will be living in the same place, but she is confident wherever she is
she will be working on local environmental issues. For others, however, they do not have
this same confidence. Some voiced the desire to draw upon more creative sides of their
beings, while others shared an interest in working outside of the environmental movement.
Dave states, “I don’t think I’m going to make the 30 or 40 years [in this field] because I
want to write books.” He does add, however, that one of his greatest dreams is to devote
his writing to environmental causes and stories. Dara sees herself applying her current
experiences and skills to another service organization in the future. While she notes it may
not be an environmental organization, she is quick to point out it would always be a
nonprofit organization. Megan questions whether “there is something more fun and
exciting out there somewhere? Is this what working is all about? Is this what a job is all
about?” When Helen is asked about her future she responds,

I assume that I will be doing . . . no, actually no. I was going to sayI

assume I will be doing some work, but if I were able to find a way to make

alivingdoingartwork,]mightdo that forawhile. Andsolthinklwill

always be involved in some way trying to nrake the world a better place.

But I also think it is completely reasonable to take breaks fiom that and

maybe essential to take sabbaticals, whatever. . . . It’s not that I don’t have

a commitment to make the world better. I mean that. But commitment to

this particular path and this particular work? No. I mean I have to reaffirm

that every day. And in a way, I think that’s a good thing.

What can be suggested from the words above is a continual quest for self
fulfillment in the midst of working for the common good. Part of it appears to a wistfirl

longing for a quieter more peacefirl life, a more balanced and fun existence. Yet within

this is also the recognition of the activist’s evolving development and a continual effort to

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match and integrate these changes of who they are as a person with their work. As Ben
points out, “There is probably ten different things I would love to do before I die, as a
career, in addition to this. So part of me is like-okay, now is the time. But another part is
like-nope, I’m comnritted to this. There’s these things that I want to see through to
fi'uition before I leave this particular post.” He adds that just knowing these ten other
careers are out there, however, “provides sonre solace.”

Deep;seated values. Regardless of their visions for their own futures, the activists
did stand united in their work being based in deep-seated values. These values firel their
passions. Megan counsels, “One of the things that I think is very, very hard for people to
learn is to trust their instincts and to trust their heart and their gut.” Dara explains, “It’s
just this deep in the bottom of your soul conviction that the natural systems out there
Should be the template for everything that we possrbly do. It’s kind of a frmdamental
wiring inside me that just says this is the right way to go about stuff.” Abigail exhorts,
“When I get passionate . . . it surprises me because it’s coming from a different place than
the intellect. I mean when people are talking about heart or soul or whatever, it’s like
your whole being is saying-yeah, this matters! . . . It’s much more gut level than actually
intellectual.” Steven shares a sirrrilar awareness,

I do feel that I have a passion about this work and it takes commitment to

stick with it, but . . . that commitment feels pretty natural. It comes fiom

deep-seated values that I have. So what passion that I do have about my

work, you know, it comes from those values. . . those fundamental values

that sort of bring to it my understanding and desire, you know, desire to be
on this path

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In thinking about Steven’s path, and in applying Dave’s metaphor, I have begun to
think of the joining of head, heart, and spirit as the building of a strong home with a roof,
walls, and floor. Without any one of these pieces, the home will not stand tall. For the
home to provide shelter and solace, you have to enter the inner space. Upon entering, as
any homeowner knows all to well, however, continual upkeep is needed. It is a continual
evolution of maintenance and enhancement and with each project, the home evolves. The
home is never the same as the first day you entered, but with floor, walls and roof intact, it
is still home: a home which houses one’s passions.

The Role of Learning: Lem’ To Be At Home

Learning, like passion, is an elusive topic. During the interviews I listened
carefully for the patterns which described how the activists came to make meaning of their
lives and how that meaning influenced their commitment to their work. Through the
listening it became clear that their understanding of themselves was a process of being
open to head and heart. This interplay is reflected well in a heartfelt comment made by
Dara at the end of our second interview. “What you see before you and the work that I
have done is really a reflection of me, my attitude, and my perceptions. . . . A lot of things
conspired in the right way, and I didn’t necessarily direct those. But a lot just about who I

am, however, how I was raised, how I think about things, my outlook on life, all of those

thingsare...mypa ”

Defing' Lem’ : A Group Discussion. Interestingly, throughout the interviews

there was little use of the actual term learning. Conring from an interpretive perspective, I

was careful to not use the term in my own questions or in my probing. Most of what was

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described was discussed in terms of knowing, with the activists at times having a difficult
time depicting how they came to certain understandings about themselves. When the
activists came together to help interpret the findings, however, I decided to probe one
more time and directly ask about the role of learning in sustaining passion. To prompt the
discussion the activists first drew their images of learning, with brightly colored markers
on a long scroll of paper, in a process of building upon each other’s pictures. The ensuing
discussion about the pictures elevated the discussion about learning beyond what had

occurred in the interviews. In the dialogue below each paragraph represents a new
speaker.

To me there is the notion of process in the images. There is a notion of

pain in some of the images. Unclear directions, outcomes, origin, those
kinds of things.

It can be a messy process. I mean learning is not concrete, sequential when
you get to be our age. Those lessons and flashes of insight come where
you would least expect it and when you least expect it.

I happen to be on the school board in my community. What I find is I have
less and less patience with incompetence. And so I find myself having to
really bite my tongue and try to listen and consciously listen where most of
my life is go-go-go-go. So what I found is, interestingly enough, I’m
learning something! From these people, who two months ago I thought
were really incompetent! Who would have thought?! But it is only
because I’ve forced myselfto listen, so that’s been great. That forces
patience. I have been forced to realize that the baggage that I bring there
might not be the baggage that best represents the people in the community
and so I need to be really conscious of where my life begins and ends and
my role as a community servant begins and ends. I find the way to
integrate and mesh those is to listen and to understand before I jump off
with what I think is obviously the right solution to a problem. But to listen
to all sides. To me, someone who has always sort of gone through life very
self-confident, to sit back and say, well, maybe I’m not right. I need to
listen first and then go forward. It’s been sort of a different habit for me to
try to take on, to spend a halfan hour debating a problem and solution and

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maybe table it and let it cook, let us think and let everyone sort of spout off
what they think.

I think that is a part of sustaining passion for this work. We spoke earlier
about how sonre of us came to this working from a place of anger and you
can’t sustain that long term. I think back to how righteous I was, probably
still am in some respects, just how righteous. That’s sort of dropped by the
wayside, to learn more about what I do, and to say passion has to be
involved.

Yeah, righteousness is an interesting thing. Because on one hand I think
it’s a source of energy and propulsion, particularly early on in one’s career.
You know, to feel that you’re right and to be convinced that yeah you
should keep going because you’re right. But that brings me back to sort of
the Buddhist perspective that there are two minds, one is the beginner’s
mind and the other is the expert’s mind. The beginner’s mind is open,
untrusting, skeptical, wanting to take it all in, wanting to listen and wanting
to understand. The expert knows it all. And so the expert is closed ofi‘ to
the greater reality. And so in the context of this school board, I’m the
beginner. And so I go into it with the beginner’s mind and I’ve learned a
hell of a lot fiom the other people there. Well that’s what you need to do
to be an environmental advocate. I think that each one of us have moved
from one role to the next to have the beginner’s kind of mind.

Well for me, you know, after banging your head against the wall, I mean if
you’re really outcome oriented and want to change the world, learning is
about needing to challenge yourself and find better ways to work in a way
that has that effect and outcome. And you know, the world is totally open
to that concept. I mean there are some tried and true techniques, which we
will continue to use forever probably, but you know, new combinations are
bringing together people and resources. It just is all an ongoing challenge.
And you know, I think that’s a constant opportunity for learning.

You know, the other thing that I was thinking about when we were talking
was what are the things that help with learning? Other people? The
world? It’s not just, you know, so you learn fiom other people. You learn
fiom the world. You learn from these situations, right? But what you
described was a change in yourself, right? And also some frmdamental
concepts of learning. I mean a decision that you would approach a
particular situation in a different way is yet another sort of component of
learning. I think that’s having a beginner’s mind.

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I wonder if we all do have a full reality. That was my experience when I
started doing this stuff. It was easy if everyone would agree with us. It
was about how you bring about change and I mean we haven’t learned how
to do that. I think that’s pretty clear. And that is a problem of learning.

I think probably where I am in learning is I’m right in the middle of not
knowing. And I don’t know. I’m never going to be out of there. The
other thing that I was thinking when you had mentioned you were forced
to learn, I think there is also the notion of being open to learning. Maybe
what you’re describing is the constant state of being open to learning and
knowing that you are just always in that and you are never done. It’s a
process. You’re learning all the time. It’s not like you’re not learning. So
it’s about being aware and forcing myself to consciously be open to the

learning.
Exactly.

I think a lot of times we’re so damn busy, we’re just sort of going fi'om
thing to thing to thing to thing, without this reflection action process at all.
I think for me what I’ve found essential in the last ten years is just time
alone, quiet, where the inner voice-the inner teacher can be heard.

Ithinkthereisasenseofself.

Yeah. Some sort of sense of something and that’s why you know driving
down today, I thought I’ll spend a lot more time sitting in the car than
sitting here with you brilliant people, but I will have some time to just think
and not think. That conrfort with not knowing, you know, that is really
powerful. It is. And from the Buddhist perspective, that’s the key.

Yeah, that’s a big deal.

That is a big key. To be comfortable, knowing that you don’t know but
being open to that and trusting yourself, that’s okay. That’s really
powerfirl. And I don’t think any of us were there when we got out of grad
school.

Taking time for completely unproductive thinking is a key. Completely.
It’s really not about productivity in any way. To me it’s such a crude idea
to have sonre time in which there shouldn’t be a purpose. How very
important that time is. It’s the key for me in the notion of sustaining
passion. It’s also a big piece of everything that we’ve talked about so far.

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You know, it’s that piece of being open to the head and heart connection
and the spirituality piece and opportunities for profound insight.

Pain. Unclear directions, outcomes and origins. Messiness. Flashes of insight.
A beginner ’s mind Listening. Challenges. Challenging yourself Constant
opportunities. Learning from other people. Learning from the world Comfortable with
not knowing. Consciously open to learning. Reflection. Patience. The inner voice. The
inner teacher. A sense of self Thinking and not thinking. Being open to the head and
heart connection. All of these words illuminate myriad ways of knowing and learning.

As can be heard from the group dialogue, a general openness to learning and a
willingness to acknowledge not knowing were strong messages voiced by the group. It
was clearly evident that one particular formula for learning does not exist and often it was
diflicult to pull apart the differences between knowing and learning. The interviews
revealed people with a strong understanding of their own needs, yet it was difficult at
times to ascertain how they came to those understandings. What was strongly heard fiom
the environmental activists was a continual questioning of their life’s direction, while being
grounded in their overall commitment to environmental work.

Learning from childhood. The participants of this study grew up in the 1960's and
1970's, a time of great change and grth in American idealism, activism, and
environmentalism. Many of the participants had parents who were actively involved in
local government or who incorporated activism openly in their lives and the lives of their
children. Abigail’s mother and grandmother were both township commissioners. Sasha

grew up in the midst of politics with her father serving as mayor of their town. “Ever

84

since I was however old, old enough to stand at a poll by myself, I would stand at polls
and pass out campaign literature and chat with people about my dad and what he believed
in.” Ben describes the impact his mother had on his own personal ethic.

She was a hippy. She was . . . really involved in the anti-war movement, the
anti-Vietnam movement. Very involved in the peace movement and the
ecological, the environment and the ecology movement. . . . The sense that
I got very clearly was—it was overtly said or was just an undercurrent of
our growmg up, is that we were to work and live in a way that served a
good much beyond ourselves. And that service was of the highest order
and that if we were to get jobs and go into careers that were—that only
rrrade money that were self-serving, then we were committing the highest
of sins, which in her opinion was greed and selfishness—were the worst.
And so in that atmosphere, which was on one hand sort of sounds like a
dower but it really wasn’t, it was great-loving, lots of lots of fun. But this
ethic of serving something beyond ourselves was really, really important.

Helen similarly describes her experiences,

I think what’s important for me is that I grew up in a household of activism

and that was very formative to me. My parents were involved in the civil

rights movement, the grapes boycott and the anti-war movement among

others. And so as a young person, I demonstrated in fiont of Kroger’s

with signs because they were selling grapes. And I remember we

demonstrated in front of the [local newspaper] building because of their

policy, some policy that related to blacks. And our family went to

Washington DC, our whole family, even with small kids and there are six of

us, for two demonstrations against the Vietnam War.

In understanding the influence of childhood experiences in sustaining passion,
insight can be found in Helen’s statement, “I think all of these things communicate to a
young person that . . . there are justice issues that are worth struggling for and that they
are a part of a faith, they’re part of a broader view of life and they were integral to our
life.” These activists learned from a young age that they had a role in making a difference

in the world. The fires were lit for lives of commitment to social change. Yet, learning to

85

keep those fires burning without being burned has been an important component of what
Dara terms being “true to yourself.”

Lw’ g to take care of oneself. During the interviews all but two of the activists
talked about severe periods of burnout. Abigail describes a time period of

. . . absolute overwhelming stress. Anxiety at all times. Non-stop
insomnia. And feeling like you could Never Get Anything Done. That the
important things could never happen. I mean just classic depression
symptoms. Everything. Just really bad. The worst part again is the sense
that this stuff mattered. It wasn’t stuff that you could let go. It wasn’t
somebody’s dinner getting burned, and so well, hell, tomorrow I won’t
worry about it. This was stuff that mattered. So, the actual effects are
putting stuff off, finding that you just plain can't confiont even the simplest
things. It’s pretty serious. I’m talking about pretty serious stuff. And
feeling like you have no option but to quit, because you cannot fix it. And
I think that’s probably the biggest problem. . . . There’s always a new
crisis, and there’s always something that needs to be done. And there are
ten more issues waiting for you. So, because of that, you cannot simply
say, okay, I’m going to focus today. It doesn’t happen! It doesn't happen!

Dara describes a time of burnout as “a feeling of being just totally buried and feeling that
there is no way out and it’s hopeless, so it’s a pretty deep depression.” She bluntly
remarks, “I was so fiied.” Dave suggests, “You can’t get excited about stopping bad
things from happening. You want to see good things happen and they weren’t. So . . . I
thought I just can’t do this anymore. I am going to either have a heart attack or a nervous
breakdown and I just needed something that was more fulfilling spiritually.” In Helen’s
words, “I was just tired. I felt tired. You know the hours we work and a lot of weekends
and evenings and I was tired. I got to the point where I didn’t want to even drive by work

when I wasn’t at work.”

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Ben suggests that the reason burnout among environmental activists is so
pervasive is due to the inability to both say no and to really take care of one’s self. “It can
lead to leaving the field. That’s when the other ten alternative career paths start looking
really good.” In asking Dara about the time, she notes,

I had been way too involved. I hadn’t had enough balance in my life and
hadn’t learned tlmt lesson yet of what it means to create balance. So I just
got burned out for it and learned a lot from that experience about balance .
. .Itlrinkanotheraspect orwhatIseesort ofacommonthread forthose
of us attracted to any kind of service work is there is just a real strong need
to be needed or there is a lot ofaward to being needed. But I think I had
too many needy sides that were looking for fulfillment through that one
place and that was just my thing. It wasn’t the organization, it was me
morethananything else. . . . Ijusthadto leamto sayno becauselwas
saying yes to everything. . . . I was going through a pretty deep depression
at the time. All of it related and all of it connected.

It was suggested during the interviews that environmental work is similar to
working in social services, with the work involving healing the wounds of the earth. It
was ventured that environmentalists choose their work to fill a personal need, potentially
trying to heal their own wounds as well. Dara continues,

I started out with a real desire to be of help, of service, but with that was
the need to be needed and it was welcomed. “Oh my gosh you want to do
this, you want to volunteer, you want to give? Great. That’s wonderful.”
And I chose environment more than any other human service or social
service work because I was more comfortable with that, had more
connections with that than I did with people. But as I have grown and as I
have learned that I don’t quite need to fill that neediness any more, maybe
that is how it has become a career and nrore of a choice as opposed to a
way to fulfill some holes in my life.

At the times of the interviews, all of the participants talked about their burnout in past
tense while cautioning that future periods of burnout were always looming close by. They

spoke of the coping mechanisms used to survive and grow from these time periods. A

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large component to coping was to impose a pause in their lives, removing themselves from
the environment and reflecting on how to move forward. Dara calls it “taking time to dig
yourself out.” Abigail describes such a time period.

I knew that I didn’t want to quit, and I knew that if I quit, all it would do is
mean I would have to go find another job. And I doubted I would find one
that I liked as much And the goods were important enough to keep. But,
it was essential to go back and recover. . . . I just said look, I want you not
to pay me for three months, and then I’m going to come back. But, right
now, I want to be gone. And they were happy to do it. . . . It took a month
before the phone could ring without me jumping. Literally. I learned a lot
of the importance of developing that that space, getting back to where you
are able to do what you want to do, without always feeling anxious. I
didn’t do much. I mean I read, I read fiction.

My kids were in school [at the time]. And in fact I had contemplated
taking the summer off; and it was like, no. I want to have this time for me.
I don’t want to end up being mom at home with the kids. As much as that
would be a good thing to do, I want to have this time for me. And I took a
two-week camping trip by myself and went to visit friends that I knew. It
was really important to get away. After three months, I went back to
work, and I was much better. Things had really gone back into a better

perspective.
Abigail talks about getting to a similar point of being overwhelmed again five years later.

She cut back to half-time and also sought out counseling.

I knew there were things going on there that I needed to address. And so
that was important as well. I think everybody needs to recognize there are
limits. . . . When you’re in an intense business like this, you cannot get
away from it. So it’s going to build and build, until there’s a point where
you cannot stay, you just have to stop. You have to figure out how to get
back.

Megan described a comparable time period as “blasting through the wall.”
I just blasted through the wall realizing that the work is important and I
enjoy the work and it isn't going to be any better anywhere else. . . . I took

[maternity] leave. And so you know, it was sort of like I was away from
the job and I realized that there was more to life and that it was a job and

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that I enjoyed the work and I enjoyed the place and I loved this
environment and I needed to do what] could to protect it and I knew I was
going to stick around.

Changing jobs, changing responsibilities within their organizations, taking leave for
extended periods of time with or without pay, and looking for outside learning
opportunities were all utilized by the participants in times of overwhelming stress. What
was evident in all of these discussions was a longing to listen to the symptoms which
created the burnout, to be attentive to what the burnout was indicating, to take the
necessary time away, and to move forward. Part of the moving forward entailed a level of
acceptance of the enormity of the tasks ahead and to recognize that the activists’ own
needs were important and valid and that it is important to step back fi'om the work at
times. In describing this stepping back, the need to find balance in their lives was often
discussed. Megan speaks about coming to understand the different components of balance
for herself and for her staff.

Everybody’s balance point is different. What I’ve learned as a manager is
that I can’t worry anymore about [a stafi‘ person] and his imbalance
because it’s balanced for him. See, that’s the whole point. It works for
him. And even though it seems absurd to me to work 80 hour weeks, you
know, it’s what he wants to do and he’s inspired by it. So everyone’s
balance is difierent. My balance is that I want to work for environmental
protection and I mean I want to have a positive result of my work. I don’t
just want to work just to, whatever, solve things. And I want to do it in a
place that I feel really safe and comfortable and I love being and I want to
have recreation and family life.

As Ben observes, “I really feel that each one of us are given some very unique and
beautiful talents at birth. We’re just given them. And part of the task of being a human is

to figure out what those are and to really go for it. And as relates to that, is also being

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honest with ourselves what we’re not good at and to not beat ourselves up by that.”
Megan talks about sharing a similar insight with her stafl‘.

I don’t remember what it was. They were really bummed out about it.

And I said, you know what? You’re not going to win 'em all. You’re just
not going to. Just accept it now because you’re going to drive yourself
nuts if you think that you have to make everything perfect and that you
have to win every case and every issue. . . . You know, it’s just things are
going to come and things are going to go. Life is going to go on without
[our organization]. Life will go on without you here. Life will go on
without me here. The water resources, the earth is going to abide. You’ve
got to have a bigger picture. You’ve just got to or you drive yourself crazy
in environmental protection.

Steven voiced what many also remarked on, the importance of having fim while working

to make a difference.

Having fun is sort of the opposite side of reducing stress. [It] is actually
making sure that you actually enjoy your work. That you don’t always feel
that it is a burden, like if I don’t do X then the world is going to collapse.
You know if you are always under that kind of pressure, burnout will be
coming soon. You probably won’t last long in this business or else you
will have to take lots of long vacations, which I don’t necessarily
discourage anyone from doing if they have the means. Maybe that is the
more effective way of doing it but I think being around on an on-going
basis is probably more effective in the long run than being on a little crazed
burnout path for a short period of time. You know, obviously feeling like
you are making a difference which is part of survival, part of effectiveness
is going to be a part of keeping people in this business, realizing that they
are making a difference even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Readjustmg' expgctations. What is evident in the above stories of burnout is the
deep caring the activists bring to their work. In many ways, what they care about is
defining who they are. This deep caring can lead to a divergence between their
experiences and their expectations which at times has resulted in being overwhelmed,

discouraged, and depressed. Being confronted with these emotions has forced a process

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of learning about themselves and a reevaluation of their own personal needs. This process
calls upon their ability to reflect upon and balance head, heart, and spirit. Their openness
and willingness to continually learn about themselves in order to push forward in their
work is an important finding of this study. The activists have come to know themselves
via their experiences and lmve had to readjust their expectations: expectations for their
lives, expectations for what they are capable of achieving in their work, and their
expectations of others. Their ability to adjust expectations while still pursuing their life’s
calling appears based in their ability to listen to what they have termed head and heart. In
Megan’s words, “[It’s] negative to have work that you really care about because then it’s
an emotional investment. The sanre thing relates to marriages and to relationships. . . .
You don’t just leave [when] you hit a wall.” Dara routinely questions, “What’s my
authenticity? What is true for me? What works for me, what doesn’t?” Abigail suggests,

“It’s like an ecosystem. We’ve evolved in place and we’ve picked up stuff

as we go along and our unique experiences hinge on each previous

experience, as opposed to having just sort of, boom, things suddenly

happen. That’s not the case really. It is an evolutionary process, that

we’re having it go fiom beginning to end is a little more rational for

explaining . . .why somebody becomes active and stays active.”

Partners in lem'gg. Tennant and Pogson (1995) in writing about learning and
change state, “The individual is considered a changing person in a changing world” (p.
93). This simple sentence conveys an important message heard throughout the interviews.
If you dig your heels in as an environmentalist, you are going to get stuck in the mud. The

world will keep changing and you won’t be part of it and won’t be able to help have an

impact. Each of the activists had stories about needing to stay on the cutting edge, finding

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new ways to get the work done, needing to build new coalitions. Their examples
illustrated a willingness to think outside the box, to work with people with different world
views, to have the confidence that a grassroots group has the right to be at the table, and
to have supportive work environments. Helen remarks,

I think there is some interesting mix of humility and pomposity that is
required in this job. The pomposity is to believe that you can sort of call
up the president and demand something, you know, literally. . . . You must
believe that you can get meetings with important people, that you can make
a difference. So, you know, it’s more than self-confidence. It’s kind of
like self-aggrandizement or sort of fully larger than life belief in one’s self.
Anyway, and also humility. I think humility is very important in this work,
to remember that it’s not about one’s own self. The work is about the
content and so it’s not about personal advancement. In our work nothing
ever happens because of a single individual. I don’t think really much
happens because of a single individual anywhere, but particularly
organizing by definition. If you’ve done something on your own, it doesn’t
have much staying power. So understanding all of that is really important.
So there is a sense in which humility is also important. So those two things
in combination. It’s an interesting combination, I think, to be efieaive.

Enrily also points out that believing in yourself can only go so far. “There aren’t really
very many heros. . . . If there is an ego issue, I think this is the wrong field. I don’t think it
attracts a whole lot of people that are on ego trips.”

In an environment which can easily crush self-esteem, the activists talked about the
importance of connecting with people, both within their organizations and outside of their
organizations. The importance of working within organizations with supportive and
committed stafi and volunteers was evident in most of the interviews. Megan and Ben,
respectively, describe their working environments:

It is very easy to work for and with qualified, intelligent, dedicated people.

I mean it’s just, you know, this organization is just full of it. Every single
person is incredibly competent and the board is remarkably supportive.

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And the community, as a whole, is very supportive. And so it is real easy
to be proud of the work that you do.

There is just really, great, great people that I get to work with here at this
oflice. Brilliant people who are mission driven, who are committed to the
work, who are from a cultural standpoint very undervalued from given how
much we are able to pay them and given environmentalists are not up there
in terms of the pinnacles of our culture from our cultural value system.

Helen describes the importance of her organization’s structure to her learning.

We have a structure where we don’t have the traditional top down. A lot
of people think, well, that just means people can stay and sort of fester.
But actually people can have the flexibility to define their work lives, to
change and grow and that’s what allows people to stay here, I think. We
have a lot of responsrbility here, we do fwd-raising to keep ourselves you
know around, but we have the flexibility to adjust our work lives. That’s
enormous. It’s just enormous.

Ben shares similar sentiments.

I’ve worked here for ten years. You know, what I found was that, yes

indeed I had a chance to work on those very local issues with citizens who

care. And then also get, really get, a feel for all of the challenges of that.

The other thing though that is great about working here is that as my

interests changed and as I had ways of working on those issues that involve

much larger scales, the organization here through the director and the

board was willing to let me-let me be creative, let me exercise my talents,

let me take risks and do crazy things.

Helen emphasizes that the support doesn’t have to come internally from the
organization. She speaks of being rejuvenated in her work from the development of an
international coalition of activists working on similar issues. The professional and
personal support gained fiom these individuals, the developed sense of conrrnunity, has
proven to be paramount to her current satisfaction in her work. The importance of this

sense of community was heard from many of the activists. Dave mentioned the

Significance of the supportive note sent to him by a fellow environmentalist when he was

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in one of his greyest times and her willingness to meet and just talk. Many of the
participants mentioned “people” as one of the easiest components of their work and talked
about the “niceness” of those within the environmental movement. Some mentioned that
this niceness is at times a fault considering the often confrontational components of their
work. Not withstanding, a strong sense of community seems to exist. In describing a
meeting of others working on similar issues nationally, Abigail shares, “1 can’t even begin
to describe how exciting it is to conre together with those folks. Being able to work with
people like that and learn fiom them is just amazing. I mean that’s the kind of thing that
makes you say, gosh, yeah, I could do this forever. This kind of stufl‘ is really good.”

In comingm and alone: Leflng' to be. Though working within supportive work
environments and communities of caring individuals, the activists still describe an ongoing
challenge of feeling alone in their work and their struggles. An indication of these
struggles can be heard in the many stories that were shared of feeling different, alone, and
unique. They often spoke with assuredness that what they were voicing was probably
different than what was heard from others in the study. They looked almost enviously at
others in the movement as having more energy, passion, and commitment. Often the
“others” were also people being interviewed for this study, people expressing the same
sentiments. Though working together on many issues, there was little sense tlmt they
were talking to each other about these feelings. Some also described having different
views and values than their family members and society in general. In their words:

Sometimes I feel as if I stand back a little bit from the environmental

movement. Certainly I am on the calendar with all of my peers with what
they believe in, what they care about, but having not planned to be an

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environmental professiornl, I guess-l don’t know. It’s hard to say, I’m both
in it and out ofit. . . . I guess all I’m trying to say is I don’t think ofmyself
as the same as a lot of the other folks. I guess there are a lot of loners in
the environmental movement. I think people pretty much keep to
themselves, other than folks who have been around a long time. I don’t
know what that says. (Dave)

There are people that I run across, in my own family—extended family and
others that, yeah, we don’t get each other very well. We don’t quite
understand what makes each other tick-we don’t quite understand that.
And of course, in the work day world where people so easily want to box
you and put you into a little corner like you’re the Reagan tree hugger. . . .
It feels a little nrore patronizing most of the time when you run into that. I
also run into people who are generally envious of me, you believe in
something. (Dara)

I’ve always been different and it wasn’t just a little “ah-In” oh, you’re
different. Okay, once again I’m different. (Sasha)

I’ve grown into the issues, as opposed to starting off concerned about the
issues. I think I’m somewhat different than most folks in that. (Abigail)

I feel like my answers are out there in terms of your cohort. . . . In a way, I

didn’t have an infinity for a lot of the work, which is sort of unusual when

you’re working in a movement that I don’t-I didn’t feel strongly attached

to. (Helen)

During the interviews, I gained the image of salmon swimming upstream,
constantly battling the current and the undertow, being drawn to swim upstream without
even knowing necessarily why, and not realizing that there are nearby salmon also fighting
the same current. They just keep swimming. Yet the tremendous amount of discussion
during the interviews about the importance of people and community in getting work done

and in staying motivated to do the work does not fit with this image. The sense of being

different, unique and alone presents an interesting contradiction to the desire and necessity

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voiced for working within communities of practice. Their comments may be illuminating
the ongoing struggle of learning to be who they are called to be. Megan remarks,

What does your heart tell you? . . . It took years and years and years for me
to even be able to know . . . what does my heart tell me as opposed to my
head? I mean it’s hard to even figure that out. For some people, it’s just
natural. They instantly know exactly how they feel about something. They
know what feels right for them They know exactly what decision they
want to make. But for a lot of folks, it’s a struggle.

Dara comments,

I think everybody kind of reaches a point, and then mid-life comes along

too at the same time, and you reach a point-okay, it’s time for this post

check and the self-analysis and whatever. I just have not been real good at

self-awareness, so these things don’t come to me dramatically or like light

bulbs. It’s a little bit slower. It’s like, okay, this feels better than that did.

So I must have made the right choice. And that’s me.

Though feeling unique and alone, the interviews strongly portrayed a group of
individuals longing for a sense of community—a sense of not being alone in their feelings of
the meaningfirlness and importance of their work. As Emily suggests, “It is just a lot
easier to keep flailing away if you have the feeling that there are other people who are
working that hard and are that committed.” As has become evident through these
findings, passion both takes it toll and provides strength Dara laughs when she tells the
story of her sister suggesting that her environmental activism is like giving up a member of
the family to the priesthood. Abigail brings the discussion to a close by acknowledging,

You know, caring has always been a part of our human nature and those

who seek to do damage to the earth or seem not to think that it matters
that they do damage to the earth, have lost something. They have lost that
caring and they’re arguing to get away from that because that’s the only
way they win. If we have no values, they win. If we care and we have
values, then they always lose because people do care.

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Chapter Summary

The activists of this study grew up in homes of social caring or activism or both.

They graduated fiom college knowing that they wanted to work in the nonprofit world,
though not necessarily in the environmental field. Through experience they came to
understand that aspect of themselves. In choosing paths contrary to societal norms, they
constantly struggle with being overwhehned in the midst of feeling a strong sense of
righteousness. Some of the characteristics of these individuals which emerged include:
persistence, independence, confidence, self-aware, reflective, open to others, an ability to
learn from experience, systemic thinking, and a strong value system. They are comfortable
with who they are, yet this does not stop them from longing for something else in the
future: a quieter more peaceful life, more balance, and the ability to call on different parts
of their interests. Yet they are drawn to following their passions which includes serving
with both head and heart. To serve requires a continual evolution of finding meaning in
work by learning to listen to their passions.

To conclude my findings, I would like to pick up on a reference Dara nrade to two
key figures that have recently entered environmental folklore: Julia and Luna. Luna is a
1000 year old redwood in California that was to be cut down by loggers. Julia Butterfly
Hill stationed herself in the tree for two years in order to protect the ancient redwood.
Dara talked admirably about Julia’s commitment to the cause. A quote by Julia ties
together many pieces of this study. Julia is asked whether she has any advice for those
who can’t live in a tree for two years but want to preserve what they think is important.

She says, “The . . . thing I always ask people when they ask what they can do is ‘what do

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you love to do?’ Because if you find a way to use what you love to do for the causes you
care about, then you last forever. And you find strength for when the times are har .”

(Mastrocola, 2001, p. 107).

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CHAPTER 5
INTERPRETATIONS
UNLESS someone like you
cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better.

It ’s not.

Dr. Seuss, The Lorax

Introduction

The purpose of this study is to develop a deeper understanding of how
commitment to one’s passions are maintained. The activists of this study, individuals who
were nominated as being exemplars in their work and passion, share strong beliefs that
humans are on a swiftly destructive path which is altering all life as we know it. These
beliefs are based on statistics, science, and experience all suggesting little room for
optimism. Yet, rather than expressing sentiments of hopelessness, instead they expressed
the necessity of hope. They are working with the hope that they can change the direction
the world is heading and they have integrated this belief into their work. With their drive
to work being based on both passion and hope, both encompassing emotions, it is
impossible to separate emotions fiom their work or to separate head and heart fi'om how
they base their decisions and actions. Their support structures are the deep connections

they feel to the earth, to people, and to their communities. These connections encompass

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their sense of spirituality. When these support structures begin to break down, so do they.
They talk about the importance of balance in order to meet the deep challenges they face.
Balance appears to be the ability to stay connected. Many times their work is
overwhelming, hence leading toward severe periods of burnout. They have learned that
they must rebuild these support structures, the connections, in order to be able to move
forward, hence taking time to pause, reflect, reconnect, and recharge. Getting through
these time periods, and reestablishing the connections, provides a deeper sense of
themselves, almost a renewed sense of who they are within their work and within their
lives. As they push forward in their understanding of who they are, they become stronger.
Through learning about themselves, they push forward in their commitment.

The activists interviewed for this study represent individuals working at the
grassroots level—those individuals in the trenches of nonprofit work. Their determination
to be effective helps fire] an openness to learning about themselves and about others. As
can be heard in the preceding paragraph, they demonstrate a deep knowledge of their own
needs, passions, core values, and strong connections to the world. Through this
understanding a model of learning has emerged which includes an intimate dynamic
between the activist’s conscious learning and unconscious knowing. This dynamic is a
vital part of the activist’s being, influencing their sense of self and sense of who they are in
their work and in the world. Conring to understand this process contributes to the theory
building in adult learning by placing the lens directly on the practitioner in a context where

emotions and spirit are an inherent part of the person in his or her work.

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Three main conclusions can be drawn about the experience of sustaining passion
and commitment for work in small nonprofit environmental organizations. 1) The ability
of environmental activists to sustain commitment to their passions arises from their ability
to experience work as vocation. 2) Through vocation, environmental activists experience
learning as a way of being. 3) By deeply engaging both conscious learning and
unconscious knowing the activists continually renew and strengthen their sense of

vocation. This process is a part of their learning to be who they are called to be.

Experiencing Environmental Activism as Vocation

A guiding question of this study has been: What is the experience of strongly
committed environmental activists working in small nonprofit organizations? One answer
to this inquiry is that environmental activists experience their work as a sense of vocation.
As the analysis of the interview data demonstrated, commitment for environmental
nonprofit work is supported and sustained in part through a deep longing to improve the
world. This intense longing can be interpreted as passion. By pursuing their passions
through meaningful work, the activists experience their work as a calling or as a vocation.
T_h_e congent of vocaM

To think of the activists’ work in terms of vocation addresses the relationship
between the person and his or her work. The term vocation has historically signified a
personal calling, most commonly with religious connotations. To have a vocation
originally meant “to be addressed by a voice” (Storr, 1984) or to have a sense of a life’s

calling (Cochran, 1990). Modern associations of the term are connected with finding

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meaning in life through one's work—work that is often oriented toward a broad social
purpose—and which helps provide a sense of self-identity (Rehnr, 1990). Fox (1995)
suggests that work as vocation represents finding what we are naturally inclined to do,
what we feel joy in doing. In his writings he makes a clear distinction between a job and
work. A job enables food to be put on the table. Work is a personal expression of
oneself, it allows you to be you, including creativity and uniqueness to the individual.
Buechner (1993, p. 119) adds vitality to these definitions by reflecting that vocation is

“. . . the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”

Daloz, Keen, Keen and Parks (1996) found in their study of highly committed
individuals working for the common good that commitment and vocation are closely
intertwined, implying that it is not necessarily an individualistic choice to act. The
individuals they interviewed expressed they cannot not act when faced by a violation of
what they know to be true. They are bound to the pain of the world, with commitment
continually reborn by the sense of being called to act. Palmer (2000) describes vocation at
its deepest level as, “This is something I can’t not do, for reasons I’m unable to explain to
anyone else and don’t fully understand myself but that are nonetheless compelling” (p. 25).
Berman (1994) in research on the call to care in the social services found it is this sense of
responsibility that helps sustain the call. In referencing Farnham et al. (1991, p. 7) she
notes that responsibility invites an “accelerating sense of inner direction.”

To understand the nature of a sense of vocation as it is lived over a lifetime
Cochran (1990) closely studied twenty narratives of individuals who clearly had a mission

in life. He writes, “A sense of vocation is partially an invention, partially a discovery,

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partially deliberate, partially involuntary, partially in control, partially beyond control. . . .
For one who has achieved a sense of vocation, person and work are united. A person
could not change his or her work without a change in being” (pp. 2-3). Cochran’s finding
helps to understand the experiences voiced by the activists of this study regarding the
merging of their professional and personal lives as they work toward their desire for a
better world. Deems (1996) suggests this blurring of boundaries can be described as a
sense of one’s work being the “outer expression of one’s inner self,” such that the meaning
of work takes on something grander than the traditional concept of a job. This is an
evolving process. As Hansen (1995) found in his study of teaching as vocation, “. . . a
person cannot ‘will’ a sense of service into existence, nor wake up one day and ‘decide’ to
be of service. These dispositions grow and take shape over time, through interaction with
people and through the attenrpt to perform the work well” (p. 4).
The emrience of vocation

These descriptions of vocation as a developing sense of oneselfin one’s work
helps to interpret the findings of this study. The activists willingness to invest head, heart
and spirit into their work illuminates their inability to keep their work at arm’s length.
They have invested their whole self into what they are doing, with their work being a
natural extension of their identity. In doing so, they are bridging their “deep gladness”
with the world’s “deep hunger” (Buechner, 1993). Their aspirations push them forward
despite the self doubt that is exhibited at times and amidst the immense challenges

described. They are grounded in their commitment.

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As the discussion of career illustrated, the activists’ have a larger sense of their
work than the term career denotes. With this a strong sense of personal fiilfillment is
evident in their descriptions of the experience of being an environmental activist. Many
had not planned on having environmental careers and were actually surprised to even think
in these terms. Their understanding of themselves in their work is still evolving. They are
not satisfying a well plarmed out—climbing rungs on a ladder—type of career development
approach to life. When the going has gotten tough they have not chosen to change fiom
one job to another but rather have found avenues to learn fiom their experiences and to
plug forward in the activities they felt necessary to accomplish their goals. In working
fiom their core passion, with the self and work intimately bound together, they are
experiencing an evolving sense of vocation.

Understanding work as vocation can assist the individual as doubts arise over time,
especially when faced With disappointments and discouragement in the face of deep
adversity. Recognizing the connection between one’s identity and one’s work gives a
language to be able to talk about what is being experienced and to help understand the
internal motivations which assist in sustaining commitment. In the group interview, for
example, the activists described the pursuit to integrate into their work both the reality of
the pain of the world and their hope for the firture. They described this as a spiritual
quest, saying that people who do not merge values, action and hope, “live lesser lives.” In
viewmg spirituality itself as a quest for meaning (Merriam & Heuer, 1996), this merging
guides their sense of vocation, with vocation not representing something one has but

rather a pattern of meaning one lives (Cochran, 1990). Applying vocation as a lens to

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conceptualize the work of the environmental activist underscores the centrality of the
person within the work. It gives voice to the learning which helps to define the self.
Vocation cannot exist as a state of mind alone, however, it requires acting on
one’s passions, acting in a social context. As Hansen (1995) notes, the “idea of vocation
presupposes a social practice in which to enact one’s inner urge to contribute to the
worl ” (p. 5). As demonstrated from the findings of this study, in asking questions of
passion and commitment, the focus is turned inward. Yet inner and outer work are not
separate entities, with a grand chasm between the two. For example, in understanding the
activists ability to nraintain a sense of vocation, it is also important to ask questions about
the organizations in which the activists work. The nine activists exhibited a strong sense
of meaning and purpose, a sense of competence, a sense of self-determination, and a sense
of impact—what Quinn (1996) cites as the four dimensions of enrpowerment based on a
study conducted by Spreitzer (1996).

The importance of the work environment is well documented as helping to create
empowered individuals. The activists of this study frequently mentioned the caring nature
of the people within their organizations, the openness to new projects and new challenges,
and the flexibility of their jobs and work schedules as all helping to nmture the individual.
They acknowledged a strong sense of independence and autonomy in their work. They
described the organizations they work in as having strong visions and as financially stable
with strong memberships and boards of directors. In many ways they could be thought of
as healthy organizations. This fact cannot be overlooked when asking questions about

sustaining commitment to work. Yet, due to the small size of the organizations and staff,

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it is dificult to ascertain whether the organizations have help create the people or if the
people have helped created the organizations. For example, Daloz et al. found that most
of the people they interviewed came to recognize and deliberately work with the formative
power of context in order to influence change. Consequently, in coming to understand
commitment and vocation, it may be more appropriate to conceptualize a person’s inner
and outer worlds through the idea of yin and yang, a close and continual intertwining of
two components of the whole. The yin and yang do not conflict but rather compliment
one another. As the self becomes strongly identified with one's work, this connection

appears to be integral to understanding passion and commitment.

Learning As A Way of Being

In writing about vocation, Palmer (2000) suggests, “Before I can tell my life what
I want to do with it, I must listen to my life telling me who I am. I must listen for the
truths and values at the heart of my own identity, not the standards by which I must
live—but the standards by which I cannot help but live if I am living my own life” (p. 4-5).
The findings of this study support Palmer’s statement. Spurred by their sense of vocation,
the activists determination to be effective helps fuel an openness to understand what drives
both themselves and others, and a willingness to always have a “beginner’s mind.” They
help sustain their commitment to work by approaching learning in adulthood as a way of

being.

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Learning in adulthood

Theories of adult learning can be grouped into several categories with a basic
assunrption running through the theories being the close linkage between personal grth
and learning and the importance of learning fiom experience and through reflection
(Merriam & Caflarefla 1999). Knowles’ concept of andragogy provides grounding to
these theories while providing a model of learning in adulthood. It also reflects what was
heard in the activists’s stories: (1) self-directedness; (2) prior experience as reservoirs for
learning; (3) a readiness to learn; (4) a learning orientation; and (5) the motivation to learn
coming from internal factors (Merriam & Cafferella, 1999). With learning and experience
seen as inextricably linked (Merriam, 1994), attention and reflection are deemed a
necessary ingredient to transform experience into learning (Dewey, 193 8, Kolb, 1984,
Jarvis, 1987, Mezirow, 1991). In addition, for learning experiences to be significant they
need to both personally affect the learner and be subjectively valued by the learner
(Merriam & Clark, 1991). These were certainly hallmarks of the types of learning
described by the activists.

Building from these understandings of learning in adulthood, transformative
learning theory focuses on the type of learning which can occur when one’s assumptions
and beliefs are examined and changed resulting in a perspective transformation (Amstutz,
1999). This type of change is defined as transformative with the idea undergirding the
theory being an attempt to capture both the process and the outcome of significant,
meaningful learning in adulthood (Dirkx, 2000a) in which new meanings of experience are

being construed in which to guide future action. A critical part of transformative learning

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involves the assessment or reassessment of assumptions. Learning becomes
transfornrative whenever assumptions or premises are found to be distorting, unauthentic,
or otherwise invalid (Mezirow, 1991). Mezirow (1991) writes, “Rather than merely
adapting to changing circumstances by more diligently applying old ways of learning,
[adults] discover a need to acquire new perspectives in order to gain a more complete
understanding of changing events” (p. 3).

Environmeng activists—asadult learners

In exploring the role of learning in sustaining commitment, and placing the lens on
the learner, I have been mindful to listen for both learning which depicts deep change as
well as the acquiring of new skills or methods to do things. The learning described by the
activists can be interpreted in a variety of different ways. As autonomous learners, the
activists reflect an openness to learning involving an active pursuit of learning as a way of
being which results in an ongoing construction of knowledge. They are continually
interpreting, integrating and transforming their understanding of themselves and the world
based on this knowledge (Tennant & Pogson, 1995).

An internal focus on the self and emotions could be consistently heard in the
activists’ stories with experience being a central component driving the process. In this
process, transformative learning could be heard buried deep in the stories. It is a process
they nurtured in order to stay committed through difficult times and can be heard in their
experiences of burnout and in the stories of readjusting expectations to match experience.
An example can help to illustrate this point. In a number of the activists’ stories, they

described coming to know people considered adversaries and being able to see them as

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people outside of the hats they don for work. With this change, they came to realize the
importance of working from a place within themselves which encompasses love for all
peeple. Helen describes coming to understand this about herself.

I deal with heads of multinational corporations. 1 mean, the chair of the
board of [a multinational corporation], you know, I know him. And I
don’t like him, and he knows me, right? And I’ve—this is something that
I’ve thought a lot about because in this project I was dealing with these
people and I had to think a lot about how I felt about them, a lot about
that. And I decided that was for me, [pause] an interesting-I mean that
raised these same issues of love versus outrage. And I decided that I had
to extend some kind of love towards them, that I needed to treat them with
dignity and respect and that hating them was completely
counterproductive. Not accurate even, you know. You can sort of really
dislike someone but you know not hating them because of their position.

I thought a lot about that. For me that is one of the places where this
comes up the most, is how one feels about one’s opponents and for me that
this whole question is where sort of the rubber meets the road, in terms of
how. And I felt that people get confused about this. So I have a
reputation of being kind of in your face sort-of person. However, I have
. . . tried to treat them with a lot of respect. But [I] respect them enough,
and myself enough, that I don’t let them get away with anything, you
know. But that it’s not about us. The debate is not about us at all. So we
need to be in a human community and deal with each other that way, right?
. . . If you think of your adversary as someone you respect, then your
behavior towards them is different.

Helen’s story reflects a personal change which required an inner focus on the self and a
change of perspective. It illustrates a purposeful commitment to being open to learning
which was bmed in her sense of work as vocation.

Through vocation, the activists of this study have learned and developed with a
strong emphasis on understanding who they are within their work. They do not speak of
having jobs as environmentalists, rather they describe themselves as being

environmentalists. They express a close alignment between the deep values they bring to

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their work and the hope they feel when aligning their work tightly with those values. The
integration of values and actions and hope are driving forces in their lives and driving
forces in their learning. A sense of self; or identity, is bound up in their work. The
activists are well anchored in their convictions. Their determination to be effective helps
fuel an openness to an understanding of what drives both themselves and others, and a
willingness to always have a “beginner’s mind.” Their strong value systems and systemic
way of thinking foster a continual evolution of their understanding of who they are within
their work and within the world.

The activists all entered into their work in their twenties with a deep caring for the
world. A diflicult part of their work has been the ineongruity between their desires and
their experiences. Adjusting expectations with experience has been a process of learning,
a coming to a new understanding between continuity and change (Tennant & Pogson,
1995). In the stories shared by the activists, the adjusted expectations were heard on
nnny different levels; expectations for their lives, expectations for what they are capable
of achieving in their work, expectations of others. The stable factor through these
adjustments was the commitment to passion and the commitment to hope. An irrrportant
factor in the experiences that lead to perspective changes was a connection and a
willingness to learn from other people. This is demonstrated in Megan’s description of a
tense discussion with a local newspaper editor regarding global warming. As she states,
“The conclusion after just a few of these kind of episodes is that not only am] not going

to change some people’s minds, but they honestly and truly believe that they came to those

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conclusions logically. And it’s not a matter of misinformation. It’s just they really and
truly believe that and so I have to respect that.”

Clearly lacking in the stories shared by the environmental activists was an emphasis
placed on formal learning activities as important pieces in their personal and professional
development. Only Ben was an exception in this regard. For the rest, if professional
development activities were alluded to at all, the activists were most impressed by being
given the time to reflect in the midst of their busy lives as well as interact and build
connections with others working on similar problems. More often heard were self-
directed activities, such as reading the writings of environmental and social activist
authors, or reflection on actions and emotions. All of these activities are representative of
adult learners and parallel well Knowles’ concept of andragogy.

A perpetual search for pattern, meaning, and purpose in life could be heard as an
active part of the activists’ stories and an active part of what pushed their learning. This is
a personal quest that is centuries old (Tennant & Pogson, 1995), hence I do not want to
suggest it is necessarily unique to environmentalists or for people working with a calling.
With the ages of the nine activists being between 34 and 54 a potential part of what was
heard could be part of life’s progression and mid-life questioning (Hollis, 1993). Yet
being open to personal growth all throughout life has been found to be a distinctive feature
of those working with a deep sense of purpose in their work (Colby & Damon, 1992;
Daloz, Keen, Keen, & Parks, 1996; Hansen, 1995). An ability and willingness to accept
change is at the heart of Daloz, Keen, Keen and Park’s (1996) findings of people working

for the common good. Personal evolution, integration, and reflection were all found to be

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important “habits of the mind.” A readiness to learn and a learning orientation were
clearly portrayed in the findings of this study and appeared as an ongoing commitment to
self-knowing and a willingness to change. Interestingly, Colby & Damon (1992) identified
a paradoxical nrix of lasting commitment and sustained capacity for change in the moral
exemplars they investigated. They state,

Even as the exemplars’ grip on their core ideals remained unwavering, they

continued to reexamine their most frmdamental attitudes and choices at

fiequent intervals. . . . [T]he exemplars remained true to their overarching

original values, which endured the flux of fiequent change and growth, and

in a fimdamental sense contributed to the shape of that change and growth

(p. 184-185)
This paradox was evident in the nine activists of this study. A strong sense of
righteousness was often heard with regard to underlying commitments and beliefs, yet
attached to this righteousness was an openness to change involving conring to understand
others views, opinions and ways of being. The righteousness was not black and white but
rather provided a grounding for commitment. This grounding, a component of their sense
of vocation, also illuminates another ingredient to learning which involves a deep
engagement with life and an integration of the conscious and unconscious parts of an
individual. Through this openness to learning to all aspects of oneselfand one’s life, and

in their quest to work toward their vocation, the activists portray learning as a way of

being.

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Grounded Commitment

Daloz, Keen, Keen, and Parks (1996) found to “live the struggles well” a pivotal
practice of those working for the common good is the ability to acknowledge, reflect upon
and give voice to all parts of one’s inner conversation. The findings of this study support ‘
tlmt by deeply engaging both conscious learning and unconscious knowing the activists
continually renew and strengthen their sense of vocation. The deep learning that
characterizes this process involves logic, rationality, and thinking as well as complex
feelings, emotions, and spirituality. Or as expressed by the activists: the head, the heart,
and the spirit.
Leflg and the self

As we enter a postmodern and postindustrial era, Fox (1995) advises that
combating the daily grind of work requires an ongoing understanding of one’s inner self.
He argues that modern capitalism has resulted in a work paradigm which is tied to the
Newtonian model of the machine. A mechanical view of work includes workers who have
discrete roles and purposes, lacking a view of the greater purpose of their work and its
contributions to human kind. One could submit that nonprofit work with its goal of
working for the greater good should escape this paradigm. The activists of this study
clearly portrayed a systenric view of the world, with their work fitting as a piece of the
whole and providing strong meaning in their lives. These characteristics parallel Daloz et
al.’s (1996) finding that recognizing and seeing oneselfas part of the whole is common
among individuals working for the common good, with critical, systemic thought being

crucial to managing complexity. Meaning, purpose, and the self are all tightly interwoven.

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Yet at the same time, as has been found in this study, the high level of personal
comnritrnent and zeal for the work can lead to an overwork situation with a denial of one’s
own health and well-being.

Thomashow (1995) has found that for people working on environmental issues the
most critical conrponent in nurturing their environmentalism is the ability and willingness
to look deeply within themselves, to understand their motivations and aspirations, to
clearly articulate values, and know how to apply them to professional and personal
decisions. What is being described comes back to Fox’s (1995) call for inner work.
Palmer (2000) suggests when asking vocational questions, the question is not, “What
should I be doing with my life?” but rather “Who am I? What is my nature?” (p. 5).

In turning the lens on learning and the self; selfis not being defined as a static thing
or substance but as an ongoing process of meaning making shaped by past, present, and
firture personal events (Polkinghorne, 1988; Kegan, 1994). As Merriam and Clark (1991)
found in their study of work, love and learning in adulthood, “[A] sense of self relates to
the impact of learning on the person’s identity” (p. 205). One way to think critically about
the formation of identity is that of entailing an overt and covert “designing of the self’
(Payne, 2001). In the designing process it is important to recognize the variety of
pressures impacting the activists’ sense of self. For example, Dave and Dara both
commented that they came to realize they were trying to “heal their own wounds” via
serving others and serving the world. Dara described a painful process of coming to
recognize that the motto of “service over self’ was not always a healthy motto to live by.

A majority of the activists expressed that in working with a sense of vocation, at times the

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blurring of their personal and professional identities became overpowering, resulting in
severe periods of “burn out.” In the activists stories could also be heard continual
struggles of measuring up to external standards or societal standards. Some lave become
quite comfortable with their sense of self in their vocation but, for others, the struggle
continues. Jung provides insight into the difficulty of working with a sense of vocation
when the collective conscious is louder than the inner voice:

In the place of the inner voice there is the voice of the group with its

conventions, and vocation is replaced by collective necessities. But even in

this unconscious social condition there are not a few who are called awake

by the summons of the voice, whereupon they are at once set apart fi'om

the others, feeling themselves confionted with a problem about which the

others know nothing. (Storr, 1984, p. 200)
Being “called awake” is an excellent way to describe the role learning plays as the activists
work on understanding and developing a deeper sense of self and sense of vocation.
Palmer (2000) notes, “. . . the people who plant the seeds of movements made a critical
decision: they decide to live “divided no more.” They decide no longer to act on the
outside in a way that contradicts some truth about themselves that they hold deeply on
the inside ” (italics in original, p. 32). As can be seen fiom this study, “living divided no
more” confronts culture, confronts group conventions, confionts society, yet at the same
time the activists communicate that they have found a comfort in who they are in their
work and in the world. They are learning to be who they are called to be.
anscious Lear_n_rng' and Unconscious Knomg' .

The ability to learn and grow from one’s inner conversation is a form of learning

which can be understood as a constant process of individuation (Storr, 1984). Jung uses

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the term irrdividuation to denote the process by which a person becomes “whole,”
requiring recognition of both the conscious and unconscious elements of oneself.
Interestingly, and especially relevant to this study, the forces and dynamics associated with
individuation take place primarily in the unconscious—in the emotional, affective and
spiritual dimensions of the person. The Jungian concept of Selfis carefully defined as a
blend of conscious understanding and unconscious influences (Moore, 1992). The
unconscious involves instinctive, involuntary reactions which simply happen. A
component of this dimension, the emotioml/heart piece of environmental activist work,
was heard loudly in the stories of the activists of this study. It was the component that
they noted has to be a recognized piece of who they are in the world in order to feel
whole—in order to be able to continually push forward in working toward their passions.
It is also the piece which they defined as “dangerous.” The part tlmt is not well accepted
in a technical rational culture. It is also not a well understood component in adult
learning. Transforrnative learning theory pushes to include the sociocultural and personal
dimensions of learning, yet the deeper emotional and spiritual dimensions of learning,
those aspects which were heard so loudly in the activists’ stories, is an underdeveloped
component (Merriam & Caflarella, 1999, Dirkx, 2000). As Hillman (1996) writes, “We
are victims of academic, scientistic, and even therapeutic psychology, whose paradigms do
not sufficiently account for or engage with, and therefore ignore, the sense of calling, that
essential mystery at the heart of each human life” (p. 6).

A culminating finding of Colby and Damon’s (1992) study of moral commitment

pushes on a deeper understanding of the connection between the conscious and

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unconscious in sustaining commitment. They found at a certain point when a firm unity
exists between beliefs and actions, one’s personal choices are seemingly predeternrined by
one’s sense of self. They describe this as having a quality of being on “automatic pilot.”
Merging an understanding of the process of individuation with Colby and Damon’s
autopilot helps provide insight into a perplexing piece of this study. Many of the choices
made by the activists seemed to be done with little reflection or self-awareness.
Considering the group as a whole appeared strongly self-conscious, this finding differs
from traditional thinking in adult learning where an emphasis is placed on critical thinking
and reflection. What has been found can be interpreted as reflecting the involvement of
the unconscious in the learning process. Values reinforce actions which reinforce values.
Actions become so predetermined by a sense of self that there is little room for hesitation
or doubt or reflection. You just know what to do without even thinking about how you
know it. And by your actions, a sense of self is reinforced and the cycle continues.
Learning occurs as an invisible bridge between current knowledge and a new awareness of
oneself. Megan’s comment illustrates this point perfectly: “One of the things that I have
learned about myselfis I don’t necessarily know I’m making decisions when I am making
them. . . . It’s just sort of all of a sudden, Oh! I guess I did make that decision, didn’t I?”
Colby and Damon (1992) refer to this as a progressive uniting of self and goals. Daloz et
a1. (1996) refer to this process as grounded commitment. Individuals called to work for
the common good are sustained by the very processes that make them who they are.
Another area of research which further helps to interpret the relationship between

conscious learning and unconscious knowing is Belenky, Clinchy, Goldberger & Tarule’s

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(1986/1997) study of women’s ways of knowing. They found there are avenues of
developing the self outside of the technical rational expectations of our society which
intertwine self concept and ways of knowing to help explain the experience of being. The
self was found to be an instrument of understanding. It is part of a “never-ending search
for truth” with truth “seen as a construction in which the knower participates” (p. 140).
The self is experienced in connection to others. Constructed knowers are described as
extremely self-conscious—aware of their own thoughts, their judgments, their moods and
desires with an “opening of the mind and the heart to embrace the world” (italics in the
original, p. 141). They add that beconring and staying aware of the workings of one’s
mind is a vital component to a sense of well-being with knowing through relations helping
to weave “passions and intellectual life into some recognizable whole” (p. 141).

Belenky et al.’s work helps to interpret the strong discussion of spirituality which
was heard in the activists’ stories. In characterizing themselves as systemic thinkers and
recognizing the infinite number of connections that abound, their spirituality enconrpassed
those connections, providing the grounding to their work and their lives. An important
piece of who they are, their identity, is bound up in the ability to keep their minds and
hearts open to learning and to connecting to others. This could be considered a
“framework of consciousness” (Schervish, Hodgkinson, Gates, & Assoc., 1995) or a “way
of knowing” (Belenky et al., 1997). By being open to a “beginner’s mind” and
“comfortable with not knowing” they provide room to nurture and foster the connections.
With closed minds, the connections whither. It is through the nurturing of connections

and opportunities for learning that the fires are rekindled and a sense of identity and

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meaning is continually reborn. Thomashow (1995) titles this sense of connectedness to
nature as ecological identity—coming to understand oneselfvia a connection to nature. In
this study, the nine activists extend his definition to encompass conring to understand the
selfvia connections to nature, humanity, the world, and their work.

A primary indicator of losing connections was the burnout described by the
activists. As in Daloz et al.’s research, the activists of this study were all seen as being
highly committed and sustained in their work, yet they were not immune to being
overwhelmed, discouraged and downtrodden. Through a purposeful focus on both their
inner and outer worlds they are able to push forward in times when others might give up.
Many researchers looking at lives of commitment have found that having a sense of
vocation does not negate dark times. Hansen (1995) found that self doubt and
commitment go hand in hand with a continual reassessment of ideas, beliefs and thoughts
being part of an evolving sense of vocation. Through this reassessing, self care or “care of
the soul” is a continuous process that will not make life problem-free but rather is focused
on helping to cultivate a meaningful life (Moore, 1992). In Colby and Damon’s (1992)
research on lives of moral comnritment, a combination of hopefirlness and optimism,
labeled positivity, was found to be an important component of the lives of the moral
exemplars studied. They were careful to note, however, that positivity is not an unrealistic
view of the world, but rather a general philosophy of finding a hopefirl way to construe
problems or fears. Daloz et al. found certain habits of mind steadied the individuals during
challenging times. Thinking systemically and holistically are important components of

these habits. Those interviewed were able to identify the connection between different

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patterns, the ability to see and live life as an interconnected whole, matching well Belenky
et al.’s ways of knowing.

Though the high level of personal commitment to one’s work can lead to an
overwork situation with a denial of one’s own health and well-being, this does not lessen
the relevance of a sense of vocation. Rather, these times of overwhelming stress can
actually be seen as times of deep learning. For example, when Dave talked about
experiencing burnout he indicated he felt he was approaching a nervous breakdown if
something did not change. What he came to understand about himself was that he needed
to bring back the spirituality piece of his work. In working as a policy advocate he was
focused predominantly on using his intellect. He needed to be more in touch with his own
creativity, more in touch with his heart, as well as more in touch with the environment.
Dave appears to be struggling to become who he really is, who he is called to be. A
conflict exists between his external world and internal world with both being important.
The feelings of burnout gave voice to the conflict. In conceptualizing transformative
learning as part of individuation, Dirkx (2000) suggest that “opening and maintaining
dialogue with one’s unconscious allows discovery and awareness of our own personal
paths toward self-realization” (p. 2). As Dave experienced and engaged both the
conscious and unconscious aspects of himself he was moving through a process of
transformation. In this same vein, Daloz, Keen, Keen, and Parks (1996) found that when
"the ability to entertain internal counterpoint is poorly developed or wanes for whatever
reason, when some voices are suppressed and others amplified, burnout or destructive

behavior is most likely to occur" (p. 190). Those who remained sustained in their

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commitments were those who were able to cultivate a stance of conscious awareness of
life while also acknowledging one's limitations to oneself and others.

Though common values and a sense of purpose were pervasive among the activists
interviewed, their personal needs were not discussed as part of a collective vision. This
parallels the findings of the other studies looking closely at people working for the
common good. The activists in many ways expressed that their internal satisfactions
outweigh the external hardships and challenges of the work. Though at times the scale
tipped in the other direction, what appears to tip it back is the tight alignment between
inner values and external tasks. Yet when not aware of and nurturing their own needs, at
the point they “hit the wall,” they are forced to suddenly put the self first and figure out
how to pull themselves back up. This is deeply painful, in part, because it goes against
their values and visions to be so self focused. When understood through the lens of
transformative learning and individuation, including the role of the unconscious in
learning, the powerful feelings and emotions expressed can be seen as drawing attention to
unconscious issues—issues that need to be voiced (Dirkx, 2000). At the point the activists
decide to step out of the situation, to take time to “pause” or critically reflect on their lives
and the meaning of the overwhelming stress, they are engaging both unconscious and
conscious aspects of their self. This inner dialogue encompasses an important duality in
their learning.

Palmer (2000) talks about the lessons that can be learned from nature with regard
to the process of living and dying. He uses the metaphor of the seasons to illustrate how

periods of dying are actually when the seeds are being planted for the next life. It is part

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of the cycle. Palmer proposes we need to accept both the darkness and the light to find
wholeness. It is in this acceptance that we are able to sustain ourselves. With regard to
burnout, the people who have sustained commitment and passion are those that have
grown during these times of deep stress. They have been forced to confiont inner work,
to recognize their own needs, to understand who they are in their work, and have grown
from the experience. And, as has been suggested by the activists, they have come away
even stronger in their convictions and their understanding of self. In this transition a
paradox exists. When they can’t make meaning of something, they fall apart or lose
control (Kegan, 1994). Yet, in the falling apart, they experience meaningful change
(Flach, 1997). Passing through this paradox of stress, or what Jung refers to as a cycle of
alienation and inflation, actually increases the activists’ knowledge about themselves and
their ability to continue in their work with a sense of vocation. Burnout can be a powerful
learning experience if allowed to be and can be viewed as transformative. Consequently, it
may not be a matter of trying to find ways to avoid burnout but rather to help people learn

and grow fi'om the experience. It is part of learning to be who you are called to be.

Chapter Sunrnrary

Three main conclusions have been drawn about the experience of sustaining
passion and commitment for work in small nonprofit enviromnental organizations. First,
the ability of environmental activists to sustain commitment to their passions arises fi'om
their ability to experience work as vocation. Second, through vocation, environmental

activists experience learning as a way of being. Third, by deeply engaging both conscious

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learning and unconscious knowing the activists continually renew and strengthen their
sense of vocation.

During this study, I have also tried to keep a keen eye open to the potential impact
of gender on the learning experience of environmental activists. While recognizing that I
interviewed more women than men, no uniform variation between the men and women
emerged to indicate issues of gender were impacting how passion is sustained. In my
limited ability to recognize the difference, I did not hear exclusively a woman’s voice or a
man’s voice. Instead I heard both women and men actively engaged in learning to be who

they are called to be.

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CHAPTER 6
IMPLICATIONS AND CONCLUSION

It is hope that enables us to live, only hope.

Edward O. Wilson

Introduction
In writing about hope, Jane Goodall observes,

As we move toward the millennium it is easy to be overwhelmed by
feelings of hopelessness. We humans have destroyed the balance of nature:
forests are destroyed, deserts are spreading, there is terrible pollution and
poisoning of air, earth, water. Climate is changing, people are starving.
There are too many humans in some parts of the world, overconsurnption
in others. There is human cruelty to “man” and “beast” alike; there is
violence and war. Yet I do have hope . . . [H]ope lies in the indomitable
nature of the human spirit. There are so many people who have dreamed
seemingly unattainable dreams and because they never gave up, achieved
their goals against all the odds, or blazed a path along which others could
follow.” (Orion, Winter 1999, p. 21)

The participants of this study belong in Goodall’s reasons for hope. They are people with

energy, enthusiasm, commitment and dreams. This study was about understanding how

they continue to blaze paths when nrany others are feeling overwhelmed and hopeless.

What has been discovered through this process, however, is that they too encounter times

of discouragement and disillusionment, but through their passion to work toward their

hope, they pull through The pulling is a process of learning: learning to be who you are

called to be.

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An overall goal of this study has been to develop an understanding of the role of
learning in maintaining commitment to one’s passions. The intent of this final chapter is to
assess the implications of this new understanding for both theory and practice. The
chapter is divided into two main sections. In the first section, focus is placed on the
contributions of this study to theory in adult learning. In the second part, the discussion
concentrates on how these insights might be applied in higher education, nonprofit

management and in practice, itself.

Theoretical Implications

The findings from this study varied from confirming previous research to adding
new insight to developing theories. At times, the findings from the interviews were
consistent, clear and concise. Yet, as to be expected, much of the time the murkiness was
painfirl. At all times I was truly moved and astounded by the level of commitment and
wisdom shared by the nine activists interviewed. I have highlighted the implications of
two areas of findings which rose to the top during the study.
Recogrm' ion of the role of learning in sustaining passion

The activists of this study represent individuals working at the grassroots level.
Their determination to be effective helped fire] an openness to learning about themselves
and others. They demonstrated a deep knowledge of their own needs, passions, core
values, and strong connections to the world. Through this understanding a model of
learning emerged which included an intimate dynamic between conscious learning and

unconscious knowing. Coming to understand this process places the lens directly on the

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practitioner in a context where emotions and spirit were found to be an inherent part of
the person in his or her work. While learning was found to be a critical component to
sustaining meaning, formal learning experiences and critical reflection were found to be
only small parts of the whole picture.

A major contribution of this study to theory development in adult learning is the
recognition of both the conscious and unconscious elements involved in the learning
process. Personal choices were tightly linked to the participants’ sense of selfand sense of
who they are in their work and in the world. Commitment to work was nurtured through
both an internal and external learning process with passion being a core piece within the
individual helping to sustain meaning in work. Consistent with transformative learning
theory (Cranton, 1996; Mezirow, 2000), times of overwhelming stress became times of
deep learning. A majority of the participants experienced and grew from time periods of
self-declared “burnout.” Overcoming these time periods required turning the focus
inward, learning about the self, which subsequently enhanced the ability to continue in
their work. Passion nurtured the learning process while, correspondingly, learning
nurtured passion.

Exppriencmg' work as vpcation

In looking closely at the connections between learning and sustaining passion, the
sense of importance placed on meaningful work was dominant. The participants’ work
took on a grander meaning than the traditional concept of work. This centrality of
meaningfulness emerged as a sense of vocation: where one’s work is the “outer expression

of one’s irmer self” (Deems, 1996). The activists willingness to invest head, heart, and

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spirit into their work, the blurriness of boundaries between personal and professional lives,
the strong sense of personal fulfillment combined with the absence of perceiving work
necessarily as career, all illuminated work embodying a strong sense of vocation. This
sense of vocation was a stabilizing ingredient for the activists. When the going got tough,
as described by each participant, avenues were found to learn fiom experience and to plug
forward in order to accomplish long term goals. In working fiom their core passion, with
self and work intimately bound together, their continual evolving sense of vocation
contributed to their ability to continually learn about themselves and others.

Work defined in terms of vocation has theoretical implications for both adult
learning and nonprofit research Cultural norms emphasize work defined in a mechanistic
sense, separating the personal and professional aspects of one’s life. Yet with meaning,
purpose, and self found to be so tightly interwoven, the implications of this study
illuminate the importance of thinking about work beyond a means to put food on the table.
This study provides evidenCe for thinking about the relationship between self and work in

terms of vocation or as a pattern of meaning one lives (Cochran, 1990).

Implications for Practice
Implications for higher education
Insight into vocation has many positive connotations for higher education. The
message that an individual has an inner drive to learn, to make connections with the self
and the world, is filled with suggestions for education. The learner is ripe for learning.

Yet, that is only so if the educator recognizes the value of a sense of vocation. As can be

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seen as visibly lacking from this study were accolades from the activists regarding formal
education. Yet, this was a highly educated group of individuals. In thinking about
developing formal learning opportunities, educating with a sense of vocation in mind is
critical. Career ladders, higher salaries, and public recognition were not the irnpetuses for
seeking out education. Rather it was to promote work toward the common good. These
are very different goals than what are often assumed in professional development seminars
or in the development of continuing education activities.

By bringing vocation into the classroom the learner in totality, head, heart and
spirit and the conscious and unconscious, needs to be considered. The educator has the
profound opportunity to help the individual gain a sense of purpose in the world. This
type of learning takes on an entirely different dimension than the current dominant school
of thought. This type of learning is crucial in a world where it is frightening to read the
morning paper due to the severe personal and social problems that exist. Creating
opportunities for developing the skills to be open to all learning, to learn from oneself and
others, to think systemically, to match actions with values, and to be self reflective is
essential. Helping to nurture and cultivate a sense of meaning over a lifetime, to help
provide a sense of directed purpose, is a significant undertaking. Reflecting back to
Dewey’s (1916, p. 308) opening quote in this study,

To find out what one is fitted to do and to secure an opportunity to do it is

the key to happiness. Nothing is more tragic than failure to discover one’s

true business in life, or to find that one has drifted or been forced by
circumstances into an uncongenial calling

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The potential role of the educator in this pursuit has enormous implications and
ramifications.

I am not trying to suggest, however, that every person is going to be able to hear
their calling, nor that it is the work of the educator to help every person find their calling.
Yet, what I am suggesting is that to think in terms of vocation is a very different way to
think about education and learning. We need to move away from thinking only of the
external skills and knowledge tlmt can be taught and instead to think of the learner
holistically—head, heart and spirit. Too often, focus is placed only on the head.

In recently discussing this study with a grantmaker, she remarked that she was
pleased to hear that there were certain skills that could be taught. Those had not been my
words, but rather the conclusion to which she automatically jumped. This is a leap we
have to stop making. As Palmer (2000) contends, “We turn every question we face into
an objective problem to be solved—and we believe that for every objective problem there is
some sort of technical fix.” Rather, we need to create space that nurtures passion and
allows the individual to begin to recognize this piece of him or herself. Challenging
current conceptions of teaching and learning and designing educational programs with
transfornrative learning theory as a base directs attention to the role that experience and
culture play in shaping what we know about ourselves and our world. In doing so,
Palmer’s (2000) questions of “Who am I? What is my nature?” and Thomashow’s
(1995), “What is my purpose as a human being?” and Julie Butterfly Hill’s (Mother Earth
News, 2001) question, “What do you love to do?” can be addressed. Finding answers to

these questions includes engaging with the soul and to see leanring as involving a deep

129

interconnectedness between one’s inner and outer worlds, the place where intellect and
emotions meet (Dirkx, 1997).
Imlications for nomrofit mement and professional education

Currently a tremendous amount of thought is being given to what is needed to
prepare people for nonprofit management and leadership positions. The activists of this
study demonstrated a broad range of skills and interests as well as strengths and
weaknesses. The common thread was the belief in what they are doing, their sense of
vocation.

Recognizing that individuals working with a sense of vocation are not trying to
climb rungs on a career ladder and that learning is not motivated by career grth
1 suggests an entirely difl‘erent mode of professional education than is normally considered.
Traditionally, work has been thought of as a product with the focus placed on the
outcomes of one’s efforts. Less frequently has work been considered a process, with the
person holding the central focus. This shifting of the lens impacts how issues of self
identity and motivation are interpreted. For example, borrowing theory and management
strategies from the for-profit sector is arguable when asking questions of how to help
sustain commitment to nonprofit work. Increasing salaries is not a long term solution to
issues of tenure and burnout when individuals are saying they cannot not work, cannot not
do what they feel called to do. There are clear implications for understanding the role of
learning for those working for the common good. Engaging head, heart and spirit is

imperative.

130

An important finding of this study is that linking thought and behavior with values
and action in a holistic approach and emphasizing connections can reap many benefits on a
variety of different levels. First, a tremendous amount of self learning occurs when
connections are allowed to form with others who see and think about the world differently
than themselves. Second, a strange paradox exists concerning the strength gained in
working with coalitions & communities of practice while at the same time not talking to
others about the emotional components of work. Building space for these discussions is
crucial. Third, in order to balance head, heart and spirit, the spirit has to be continually
nurtured. Spirituality for the activists included fostering connections to both nature and
people, directly linking back to the focus on the person. Practicing a consciousness of
connection (Daloz, Keen, Keen, & Parks, 1996) and taking the time to nurture the
connections is an important piece of sustaining commitment to the common good.

The development of learning communities, or communities of practice, to provide
people with a forum where it is safe to discuss the many conflicting feelings of activism
work would be an important first step in developing a consciousness of connection. The
purpose of such a community would be to create cohesion and solidarity, a sense of being
part of something, the development of mentoring relationships, and a space to legitimize
and acknowledge the overwhelming feelings and the deep hope that is part of the work.
Miles Horton speaks eloquently on the need for such an atmosphere:

I believe we ought to do things in groups. People need the stimulation of

the group. They also need the strength of the group, and they need to get

ideas fiom other people in the group who have situations similar to theirs.
Ideas that are useful can grow out of that sort of discussion. You have to

131

stand up for what you believe in, but you can’t do it without the support of
the people. (quoted in Oliver, 1992, p. 96)

Linking places of higher education with community organizations and opportunities for
students to do internships and volunteer activities would help practitioners learn about
themselves and their sense of vocation while building connections. Creating mentoring
environments with attention given to encouraging and supporting new professionals would
help to decrease the sense of being alone in one’s feelings as well as establishing
connectedness.

For mid-term professionals, opportunities to renew and enrich the connections to
oneselfis indispensable. Funding with no strings attached to conduct the projects of their
dreams was strongly suggested by the participants of this study. Organizational policies
that allow for a time to pause including leaves and sabbaticals should be pursued. Each of
these suggestions requires placing an emphasis on personal renewal rather than
professional training in order to nurture and sustain passion. What became clear from this
study is that personal development is professional development.

Implications for the practitioner

The personal challenge to remain sustained in one’s work is great as is evidenced
by the large degree of turnover and burnout that can be found in nonprofit organizations.
Pursuing and preserving a strong sense of purpose in one’s work is crucial to sustaining
passion. At the same time, the myth of the lone warrior needs to be discarded. The

participants of this study were not solitary figures working alone. Practicing a

132

consciousness of connections, whether that be with others working on similar or dissimilar
issues, with mentors, and/or with nature, is imperative.

Being consciously aware of the importance of connections was a poignant nressage
of this study. An important habit of the mind prevalent among the participants included
approaching problems systemically and recognizing the interdependence of all living
things. Discussions of feeling lonely and feeling unique exhibited a tension between living
in a culture of individualism and autonomy and the strength gained from feeling connected
to community, to peers, to a social movement, and to the greater world.

Activism, itself, has both active and reflective qualities. Both observing and
participating is required, with an inner discipline necessary to manage oneself. Heifetz
(1994) refers to this as “getting on the balcony” where attention is placed both on the
dance itself and on the larger patterns on the dance floor. At the same time being on the
balcony allows a time to listen to oneself. As one participant suggested:

So many of us in social movements have this perspective that we need to

change everyone else, fix this, and then the world will be a better place.

But so seldomly do we ever pause and think, hey, wait a minute. What

changes do I need to make in order to model and really live and be the

change that I’m trying to make happen out here?

In the midst of participating and observing, an additional implication from this study is the
importance of taking time to pause. F indirrg strategies to nurture and restore one’s
physical, emotional, and spiritual resources is vital. Being willing to learn from oneself

and from others, or always maintaining a “beginner’s mind,” provides an avenue to sustain

the personal stresses that come when following one’s passions.

133

Recommendations for Future Research

In the midst of conring to understand better the role of learning in sustaining
passion many questions still remain. I recommend that this study be expanded and
broadened to examine a number of questions. Further exploration is relevant with respect
to difi‘erent populations and organizations, methodology, and theoretical interests.

This study focused on environmental professionals and their experiences in small
nonprofit organizations. I recommend that the question of sustaining passion be expanded
to include other nonprofit interests outside of environmental work as well as large
nonprofit organizations. It would also be worthwhile to expand the examination into
other sectors of society including education, government and business. Exploring
differing organizational cultures would provide valuable insight into the role of context
and culture in learning and sustaining passion. This study was also geographically
restricted. Further explorations should not be limited specifically to Michigan or the
United States.

I also recommend further examining the findings from this study as applied
specifically to those individuals working in small nonprofit organizations. Since this study
involved nine environmental professionals, the findings pertain to them, not the general
population. It would be valuable to test the findings on other populations. For instance,
what is the experience of people working in the nonprofit sector who do not feel highly
passionate? Have they flourished or failed? What has been the experience of those
individuals who have chosen to leave nonprofit work? Also, little gender differences

were found among the three men and six women of this study. Expanding the study to

134

include more men would be worthwhile to test this finding. In addition, it would be
valuable to investigate questions of learning and passion on the basis of race, education,
and level in the organization.

Narrative inquiry provided in-depth information about the experience of work from
the vantage point of the individual being studied. Further exploration should include
diverse methodologies. Ethnographic studies which involve observation of the individuals
in their natural work environments combined with ongoing interviews of both the
participants and others working close to the participants would provide usefirl insight into
the present findings. A long term study would also be beneficial. For instance, how does
the role of learning in sustaining passion change overtime?

Delving further into understanding the relationship between learning and passion in
the context of the world of work will enhance the educator’s ability to help those
individuals choosing to follow their passions. Studies firrther exploring the learning
processes in greater depth, especially the area of learning about the self, would enhance
the understanding of how to assist individuals in sustaining passion to their work. Since
so little mention was made of formal learning experiences, this study raises interesting
questions to be explored fmther. For example, what impact do adult education activities
have in sustaining passion for work? How can higher education address the needs of
individuals working with a sense of vocation? What are the pros and cons of enhancing
the connections between people, such as learning circles and mentoring, and their fimction
in sustaining passion? Wlmt is the role of philanthropy, which provides much of the

funding for nonprofit work, in helping to sustain passion?

135

This study has enhanced the understanding of the relationship between learning
and passion. At the same time, many questions have also been sparked, hence, suggesting
many diverse areas for further research Such information is valuable to researchers,
educators, fimders, and practitioners alike in the quest to enhance the efforts of people

dedicating their lives to work of the commons.

Conclusion

Salanron (1999) suggests that new models are needed for the nonprofit sector
which focus on the individual, stressing empowerment, self-realization, and self-help. He
suggests it is time to move away fiom an intense focus on nonprofit organizational
management issues and instead place the focus on the self. Quinn (1996) notes, to be able
to triumph in the face of change one must “know thyself.” Palmer adds, “We listen for
guidance everywhere else except from within” (2000, p. 5). Based on the conclusions of
this study, these suggestions are precise and vital. Yet at the same time, self-
empowennent and self-realization are not enough. The system has to support the person.
As the implications of this study have suggested there is a need for a paradigm shift in the
way we think of the world of work with a role for adult educators, nonprofit managers,
fimders and others to share in the responsibility. As one participant remarked, “There is
no magic formula to sustaining energy and passion. This is not a punch card kind of job.”
Yet the more the study pushed to peel back the layers of understanding, the more which
emerged to offer insight into the role that the community as a whole plays in helping to

sustain passion.

136

In many ways the activists of this study are living with what Fox (1995) has
described as a sense of awe. He writes, “Awe includes dancing with terror” (p. 98).
Being able to bring into their work a reverence for the world, combined with the terror
they also feel, involves an individual dance which incorporates a blurring between the
boundaries of their personal and professional lives. They have found a variety of means to
endure during diflicult times which invariably entails caring for and coming to understand
the self. Remaining passionate involves growing and learning, with the learning focused
on the process of staying committed to their work. What has been illuminated by both the

women and men of this study is that passion is the fuel to sustain hope.

137

APPENDICES

138

APPENDIX A

EMAIL LETTER REQUESTING PARTICIPANT NOMINATIONS

TO: XXX
FROM: Jessica T. Kovan
RE: Research Participant Nominations

 

Dear XXX,

I was wondering if you would be willing to help me as I put together a potential list of
research participants for my dissertation study. I am looking for people you would
suggest as being highly passionate and committed environmentalists working in small
nonprofit organizations in Michigan. They do not need to be the director of the
organization but they do need to be paid staff (as opposed to volunteers). They also need
to have worked in their career for at least 10 years but not necessarily in the same
organization. I am defining “small” nonprofit organizations as those with 10 or less full
time staff. My dissertation is a qualitative study and I will be interviewing the participants
two to three times for probably 1 1/2 to 2 hours each time.

Also, if you have any recommendations of other individuals you would suggest speaking
to for suggestions, please let me know.

Thank you!

Jessica

139

APPENDIX B

INFORMED CONSENT FORM

Statement of Consent Form
The Experience of Being An Environmentalist in a Small Nonprofit Organization

You are invited to be a participant in a research study about the experience of
being an environmental professional working in a small nonprofit organization. You were
selected as a possible participant by local experts in the area of environmental activism.
This study is being conducted by Jessica Kovan, a doctoral student in the Higher, Adult
and Lifelong Education Program in Educational Administration at Michigan State
University.

Background Information.

This study proposes to investigate the experience of environmental professionals
working in small nonprofit organizations, in order to gain an understanding of how to
sustain passion to environmental work. The purpose of this study is to develop a deeper
understanding of the role of learning in maintaining commitment to one's passions. This
study hopes to shed light on what is needed to serve as a basis for the development of
supportive structures for environmental professionals.

Procedures.
If you agree to be in this study, we would ask you to do the following things.

0 Participate in two to three tape-recorded interviews that will last approximately 1'/2
hours each. At any time the tape recorder can by stopped.

0 Write down and share reflections after each interview.

0 Participate in one focus group interview that will last approximately 1% hours.

Risks and Benefits of the Study.

There are no obvious risks to the study. Your identity will not be revealed.

The benefits of participation are minimal as well. The study may provide the time
to engage in some added self-reflection.

Confidentiality.

The records of this study will be kept private. In any sort of report to be
published, information that will make it possible to identify a subject will not be included.
Research records will be kept in a locked file; only the researcher and her advisers will

140

have access to the records. The tapes will be erased after the thesis is approved. Your
privacy will be protected to the maximum extent allowable by law.

Voluntary Nature of the Study.

Your decision whether or not to participate will not affect your current or future
relations with the University. If you decide to participate, you are free to withdraw at any
time without affecting those relationships.

Contacts and Questions.

The researcher conducting this study is Jessica Kovan. Please ask any questions
you may have. If you have questions later, you may contact her at (517) 347-2147. Her
dissertation advisor is John Dirkx. You may contact him at (517) 353-8927. If you have
any questions regarding your rights as a subject of this study, you can contact the
chairperson of the University Committee on Research Involving Human Subjects, David
Wright at (517) 355-2180.

You will be given a copy of this form to keep for your records.
Statement of Consent.

I have read the above information. I have asked questions and have received
answers. I consent to participate in the study.

 

 

Name Date

 

Signature

141

(1)

(2)

(3)
(4)

(5)

(1)

(2)

(3)

APPENDIX C

INTERVIEW PROTOCOL

FIRST INTERVIEW PROTOCOL (90 minute interview)

Do Consent Form 13 there anything about the study you would like me to tell you
before we begin?

I am interested in learning more about your background and your evolving interest
in environmental activism. How did you get involved in env. work?
Probes: What is your position in your organization?

How did you get to that position?

Describe your work. Walk me through your typical day.

Describe a critical incident in your work that seems to exemplify what got you
involved and why you continue to do this work.

Census data: Can I ask a few more questions? Age, # of years working in
nonprofit sector, # of years working in current organization, # of
people employed in current organization, educational background

SECOND INTERVIEW PROTOCOL (90 minute interview)

What thoughts or comments do you have about what you read in the transcripts?
Is there any part of the transcript that you would like to further clarify or elaborate
on? What would you like to add that is not there?

After reviewing the transcripts and thinking about your work, what would you
describe as the hardest part of your work? How have you struggled with it? What
is the easiest part? What makes it easy?

You mentioned in the first interview that you had not expected to be in this line of
work when you started college. In what ways have your feelings about who you
are as an environmentalist changed overtime? How has your work influenced
how you see yourself?

142

(4)

(5)

(6)

Some people talk about their work in terms of passion and commitment. How do
these terms apply to or reflect your experience of your work?

I would like to know a little bit more about the role the people that you work with
play in helping to support you in your work.

Imagine you have been asked to design the cover illustration for a handbook
focused on working in small environmental nonprofit organizations. The
illustration should be a pictorial representation of your work and the wisdom of
your years in this field. Please draw this picture for me.

143

APPENDIX D

CONTACT LETTER PRIOR TO SECOND INTERVIEW

DATE
ADDRESS
Dear XXX,

It was a delight to see you a couple of months ago. Thank you for your willingness to
participate in my research study that will complete the requirements of my doctoral degree
at Michigan State University. I enjoyed our first interview and am looking forward to our
second.

Please find enclosed the transcripts fi'om the first interview. These are not the raw
transcripts but instead I have taken a first stab at creating your “story.” To do so I have
pulled out my own voice from the interview and have also cleaned up the many
irregularities of human speech patterns (e. g., the many uh’ 3, you knows, repeated words).
When you find places where words are bracketed, I have had to add in words to rmke the
sentence or paragraph flow. Otherwise all of the words are your own.

I have also given you a new name and pulled out your organization’s name fiom the
transcripts. These are just the tiniest first steps in maintaining confidentiality. Let me
know if there is a new name you have always wanted!

I would truly appreciate it if you could review the entire document prior to our next
interview. I would like to start the interview with your reaction to the transcripts. Do the
transcripts capture your experiences of working in a small nonprofit environmental
organization? Anything you want to add, delete, change? Does it provoke any new
thoughts? Were any important experiences neglected?

I look forward to meeting again this conring Wednesday (1 1/29) in Lansing at 12:00 noon.
1 will give you a call to confirm where we will be meeting. In case you need it, my phone
number is 517-347-2147.

Thanks again,

Jessica T. Kovan

144

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145

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