THE SAMBALIZING OF IDENTITIES AMONG ENGLISH LANGUAGE LEARNERS IN POST - COLONIAL MALAYSIA By Kaliamma Ponnan A DISSERTATION Submitted to Michigan State University In partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Curriculum, Instr uction and Teacher Education - D octor of P hilosophy 2014 ABSTRACT THE SAMBALIZING OF IDENTITIES AMONG ENGLISH LANGUAGE LEARNERS IN POST - COLONIAL MALAYSIA By Kaliamma Ponnan This study is an exploration of the English language learning experiences of fou r Malaysian s who were students in the U.S. at the time of the research . They represent the three main ethnic groups in Malaysia , namely the Malays, Chinese, and Indians. The objectives of this study we re t o explore the ways in which the factors surrounding homes , schools , and social realm s impacted the construction and reconstruction of the ir identit ies as learners and users of the English language . It also look ed at how these attributes further shaped their notion s of their ethnic, national, and global identities . This study was voices are sometimes ignored and unheard , and that hearing them often lead s to valuable pedagogical awareness. I conducted t his study of lived experiences using Clandinin and Conne qualitative narrative inquiry methodology (2000) and phenomenological interview s to obtain data . I gathered using the three - dimensional inquiry spaces of temporality , sociality , and place and looking at narrative as both t he method and the phenomena under investigation. I analyz ed , interpret ed , and retold the se personal narratives in relation to their social significance. The findings from this study suggest how a gradual flexib ility in the construction of students identit ies as English language learners bear s upon the ir current conceptualization s of their ethnic, national , and global identities . Copyright by KALIAMMA PONNAN 2014 i v T o my parents , Mr. Ponnan Ramasamy and Mrs. Ponnammah Nallaya , who toiled endlessly to make education a possibility in my life , even though it was a distant reality in their own . To them both, I owe everything. v A CKNOWLEDG E MENTS Seeking a Ph.D degree , thirty years after receiving my u ndergraduate degree , was not an easy task for me . F ortunate ly , I had a lot of support along the way that eventually saw me to its completion . I like to take a moment to acknowledge all those who had contributed to my success . M y graduate stud ies , both at m asters and doctoral level, would not have been possib le without the financial assistance from the Department of Teacher Education at Michigan State University that came in the form of research and teaching assistantship s. Apart from providing the funding t hat I needed, these assistantships had also enriched my learning experiences in the U.S . At this moment, I particularly like to thank Dr. Avner Segall, Dr. Nell Duke, Dr. Cheryl Rosaen, and Dr. Guofang Li for their support and encouragement . At the time of my application to the Ph.D. program , Dr. Patricia Edwards, Dr. Dipika Mukherjee, and Dr. Jay Yap had kindly consented to write reference letters for me. Dr. Edwards had also provided mentor ship for a year after I was accepted into the program . F or all t hese, I am extremely grateful. OISS, the Office for International Students and Scholars at MSU, had provided support and guidance in many ways. For this, I like to particularly thank its Director , Dr. Peter Briggs. M y immense gratitude also goes to my di ssertation committee that comprised of Dr. Lynn Paine , a lso m y academic adviser , Dr. Kyle Greenwalt and Dr. Jeff Bale, both my d issertation d irector s, and Dr. Trixie Smith . When I worked through my initial drafts , a ll of them had provided me great feedback and resources . They encouraged and prompted me to look into areas that I had previously overlooked or failed to explain with sufficient details . I particularly value research , and pr acticum vi work prior to that. Their guidance and care had continued even after I moved from the campus to continue my writing . In the case of Kyle, h e had offered h is mentorship even aft er I had returned to Malaysia upon completion of my dissertation defense. I am extremely thankful for his care , guidance, and support. My heartfelt thanks also goes to Dr. Doug Campbell who read my dissertation chapters and gave me valuable feedback, both in person and in writing. At this point, I also like to thank Dr. Amita Chudgar who provided me guidance in the beginning stage of my doctoral program. During my long stay in the U.S. , LATTICE was my family away from home . Sally McClintock, the founder o f this professional body , was always there to listen and to encourage at times of need. Tom and Lynn Bartley opened their hearts with such warmth and kindness. I also recall with gratitude the professional and friendly manner in which Karen Klein, Connie D etjen, Mary Hennessey, Sue Seyfarth, Greta McHaney - Trice , Nancy Lubeski, and Jo hn Metzler, among many others, had enriched my MSU days . I like to extend m y thanks to the LATTICE Board of Directors for giving me the opportunity to serve the organization as its graduate assistant f or two years , alongside Connie Detjen and Karen Klein. Jane Fitch , my LATTICE friend , was a lso my American mom. She and her husband, Chuck , my American dad , did not only open their hearts for me but also their lovely home at the time of my dissertation defense. I recall with great fondness the night when they had stayed up listening to my Malaysian stories. Karen was kind and thought ful in organizing a gathering in her home during my last few days in East Lansing to enable me to meet my LATTICE friends. I t seems like such a long time ago, but I will always remember looking back to see Jane and Karen sitting among the audience, cheering alongside my daughters, on my graduation day . vii M y sometimes lonely academic journey was also m ade more pleasant through the g reat f riendships I built over the years. Ghazala Khan met me at the airport on my first day of arrival , and for years, she and her family had ensured my well - being . Sally and Robert Pcionek , Ya Mo, Chiharu Kato , and Jihea Kan g were always there to provide an y kind of support at all. O n many occasions , their care and love were even extended to my daughters and I am immensely grateful for that . Najwa Aown, remained my confidante and friend throughout my program. H er love, suppor t , and friendship w ere even extended long after she had graduated and left the campus. I also recall fondly my friendship with Jacqueline Koonce and together . Sitting and chatting with Huang Hsuan - Yi , her husband Hsin - Lin , and Rachel Ayieko had on many occasions felt like being with family members . I miss H yun - Se u ng Kwak , my office and table - partner for five years . Nai - Cheng Kuo , Amal Ibou k , Giovanna Moreano , Abu Bakar Razali, Dwi Yuliantoro, and Justin Kang had all enriched my time at MSU in various ways . My special thanks to Gio vanna for organizing all those . M y academic journey would not have been possible without the support and love from my family. My husband Pala unwavering love, support , and understandi ng had enabled me to spread my wings to frontiers far from home , for long periods of time . During the entire time , m y daughters Neetha, Theeba, and Preetha had showered me with endless love and encouragement , urging me on with my academic pursuits , particu larly during my low moments . I cherish their love and belief in me. I f I had pe r severed in this task , it is because of them , my three girls . Finally, m y sincere gratitude go es to the four Malaysian students at MSU who participate d in this study . I am grateful for the time they allocated for me amidst their busy schedule . I like to w ish them the best as they strive to attain their aspirations . viii TABLE OF CONTENTS LIST OF TABLES x LIST OF FIGURES .... x i CHAPTER ONE IDENTITY AND THE SAMBALIZING JOURNEY 1 . 5 The Historical Context 10 Introduction of English Languag e Education 11 Rise of Malay Nationalism 1 3 National Language Polic ies 16 2 2 The Narrative Journe 2 6 2 7 Procedures 28 Information about 3 4 Direction 4 0 CHAPTER TWO HOME, SCHOOL, AND LANGUAGE ATTITUDES 4 2 . 4 4 4 5 4 7 ... 49 Ani . 5 0 5 4 Stories from Sabah ... 6 0 Discussion . . 6 4 Identity Creations . 6 4 S ocial Mobility 6 7 Conclusion 7 1 ix CHAPTER THREE CLASSROOMS AND I DENTITY FORMATION . 7 2 Classroom Narratives 7 4 Azura .. 7 4 Ani . 8 0 S . 8 4 . ......... 8 6 Classroom and Identity 9 0 9 0 Glo bal A ........... 9 5 ... .. 98 CHAPTER FOUR AS THE GROUND SHIFTS 99 Out - of - School Narr ........ 99 99 10 5 1 09 1 14 Flexible Iden 12 2 Social Mobility 12 2 1 2 6 1 2 8 Discussion 13 0 Conclusion 13 4 CHAPTER FIVE OF IMAGININGS FAR AND NEAR . ... ... 13 5 13 5 1 37 Pedagogic al Impli 14 1 Personal Refle 14 4 APPENDI X . . 1 48 REFERENCES 15 2 x LIST OF TABLES Table 1 . 3 Table 2 Total Number of Assisted Schools on 15 th . 19 Table 3 Primary Enrolment Trends by Language Stream, Peninsular Malaysia . 2 1 Table 4 Brief Information about Student Participants . ............ 39 ............. 1 29 xi LIST OF FIGURES Figure 1 Malaysia in the Southeast Asian region 7 Figure 2 Map of Malaysia .. 3 5 Figure 3 The Malaysian Nasi L emak 1 49 Figure 4 Kampung Setting 15 0 F igure 5 An Oil - palm Estate . 15 1 1 CHAPTER ONE Identity and the Sambalizing Journey Nasi Lemak 2.0 was a movie released in Malaysia in 2006 that rekindled the thoughts among its multiethnic population on what it means to be a Malaysian and to have a Malaysian identity . With a humorous touch on social issues, this movie portrays the story of Huang, a young Malaysian chef trained in China in authentic Chinese cooking. He saw many people choosing to eat nasi lemak in the stall next door sold by a Malaysian woman of Malay ethnicity instead of his authentic Chinese food in his restaurant. This infuriated Huang tremendously. Nasi lemak is a Malaysian rice dish cooked in coconut milk and served with sambal , a sizzling spicy sauce th at is a great favorite among the local population (an image is provided in the Appendix). Incidentally, sambal is also a versatile side dish that mixes and blends well with many other Malaysian dishes without losing its authenticity. Chef Huang realized th at his authentic - only stance had failed to attract his Malaysian customers, and soon, at the advice of the next door nasi lemak vendor, he embarked on a culinary journey that took him across the different states in Malaysia. He met people from diverse back grounds, and while speaking their languages and adapting to their ways of life, he learned the perfect blend to gain the much - desired Malaysian identity. Roy and Subaramaniam (2012), in their analysis of the movie Nasi Lemak 2.0 , raised the question of w multiethnic context. Is it foremost about professing an ethnic identity or a national identity? At first, Chef Huang only had the essence of a Chinese, whereby he would not even serve the delicious spicy sambal alongside his authentic Qiao Long fried rice. Later, his reflective journey 2 made him revisit his core identities within the multilayered Malaysian identity. Eventually, he sambalized . This transformation enabled him to take on a new Malaysian flavor that, apart from food, also flowed into other aspects of his life including languages, cultures, and traditions. This study is about a similar sambalizing journey taken by four ethnically diver se Malaysian students who, similar to Chef Huang, navigated their core self - identities and endured transformations along the way. It explores how these students, who were all educated under a standardized Malaysian curriculum that taught English as a singl e subject, navigated their ethnic, national, and global identities differently. For some of these students who came from diverse backgrounds, it led to embracing a new global identity, with English at its center. For other students, this center kept shifti ng as they indulged in newer cultural journeys rarely envisioned in the past. And yet for some others, it involved continuous contestations and negotiations as they struggled with the overlapping issues of ethnic, national, and religious identities, while at the same time striving to be successful partakers in the globalized are na. This study , while narrating these experiences, attempts to understand how the processes of resistance and negotiations had impacted the construction of their identity. It is also a n exploration of th e pedagogical Malaysian context as English language learners and users. The following is a list of key terms used throughout the study. Rather than define these terms in strictly academic ways (with citations of the literature, and such), I have instead used my knowledge of both the academic literature and the Malaysian social context to provide definitions that help the reader understand how th ese ideas can illuminate certain aspects of the study. 3 Table 1 Definition of Terms Key Terms Definitions as Conceptualized in this Study Nation An imaginary construct that is constructed collectively by a community of people who share a common hi storical memory, common values, common shared destiny and so forth. This is to be differentiated from the term Nationalism These are f eelings of patriotism and unconditional att achment to particular attributes such as ethnicity, religion, nationality, language, and other identity markers. All these elements may or may not be collective embodiments Not only is nationalism related to feelings, but it is also planned attempts by various elites to create these feelings through various social institutions such as schools, media, military service, etc. By Malay nationalism, I refer to the national sentiments professed by a particular ethnic group in - identified themselves as Bumiputera (son of the soil) who habitually speaks Malay language, conforms to Malay customs, and professes Islam as the religion (Article 160 of the Malaysian Federal Constitution). 1 Nationalist A person who identifies himself markers such as the national language, national anthem, national educational philosophy, etc. This definition is highly debatable because the ideals upheld by th e nation for its citizens may not necessary coincide with the feelings at the grassroot level. It can also vary between and within various ethnic groups, in relation to the nation and its global identity. 1 Federal Constitution of Malaysia. http://www.jac.gov.my/images/stories/akta/federalconstitution.pdf Accessed 15 February 2014 4 Nation - building A forced mechanism created by a nation state to instil integration and unity amongst its culturally and ethnically diverse population. It involves instilling deep nationalistic sentiments using elements such as a national language, religion, culture, and shared his tory. Such sentiments can also be equated with nationalistic feelings. Identity A socially - constructed categorization of a person, an ethnic group, a nation, a region, etc., based on common characteristics such as culture, ethnicity, religion, and h istorical memory . Sometimes certain national symbols or identity markers such as national flag and national anthem might also be attached to this to evoke stronger sentiments. Identity is generally characterized as hybrid, multiple, dynamic, and a notion t hat can be negotiated, constructed, and transformed. This process can take place at individual and social levels. Elitism Denotes social stratification that marks a person or a group as distinctively different and higher in status from the others in t erms of ancestry, wealth, intelligence, social capital, political power, etc. It can be acquired through family inheritance, self - accomplishments, marriage, and educational attainments. Elitism can also be associated with particular institutions that produ ce people of higher status . Those considered elitist in Malaysia are normally from the aristocratic families, and people of certain caliber such as educationists, politicians, philantrophists, and so forth. The rich and the powerful with high English lan guage proficiency and western manners could also be bracketed within this elitism. In the Malaysian context, elitism could also be a self - professed attribute or something that is bestowed upon someone in the form of prestigious titles from the state and th e King. Vernacular education Formal education conducted in the native languages. In Malaysia, this denotes schooling conducted in Malay, Chinese, and Tamil languages. These were the three most important languages during the British colonization. La tely two more languages had been added to this: Iban and Kadazan languages from the states of Sabah and Sarawak in East Malaysia. 5 Manglish An informal English speech variety that is widespread throughout Malaysia and spoken in partic ular social situations by almost everyone, irrespective of their social status, ethnicity, and age. The nature of this speech variety depends on the formality of a context, and the type of people involved. The following section gives the background to t his study and identifies the gap that has necessitated a study of this nature. B ackground of the Study Malaysia is a complex and diverse country that according to Census 2000 has a population of 28.8 million people, consisting of 65.1 % Malays, 26 % Chi nese, and 7.7 % during the pre - independence period and covered the region in Southeast Asia bordering Thailand on the north and Singapore on the south. According to Nagata (2011), Southeast Asia was connected by sea and land, and has been open to migration, trade, and early forms of Hindu - Buddhist religion with China, South Asia, the Near East, and Europe for more than two millennia. At this time the aborigines, now known as Orang Asal already living in the inland regions of Malaya. During this time t he Malay population arrived into the region from the southern part of China and Taiwan, en - route to Philippines and Indonesia as well as Malay sia . According to Aida Idris (2008), although their origins were rooted in Southern China, the earliest boatmen who came to Malaya through these routes slowly developed their own identity and culture as Malays. 6 S ince the 13 th century, t rade and migration flourished in Malaya, transforming the region into a dynamic blend of cultures, traditions, and languages. At this time, the local Malay language became the preferred mode of communication among the diverse group of people. The fluidity of this landscape u nderwent further transformation when Europeans arrived in the 17th century, first the Portuguese in 1511 to one of the major coastal trading posts in Malaya known as Malacca, then the Dutch, who conquered Malacca in 1641. However, it is the arrival of the British colonizers in the nineteenth century that caused the greatest impact on the identity of this already vibrant region when their colonization extended from Malacca to the whole of Malaya. This impact was caused by various issues of state governance a nd lasted until Malaya was given independence o n 31 August 1957. On 16 September 1963, the independent Malaya formed a federation with the states of Singapore, Sabah (formerly British North Borneo), and Sarawak, hus, from this time onward, Malaysia consisted of two geographical regions divided by the South China Sea: the peninsula region previously known as Malaya (or West Malaysia), and Malaysian Borneo (or East Malaysia). Singapore left the federation in 1965 bu t Sabah and Sarawak remained to this day. In Figure 1 below, I have given a map that shows these two regions in the Southeast Asian region that now has nine states in the West and two states in the East ern region . 2 2 http://jodisjungleadventures.com/borneo - detail - map.html . Accessed 15 January 2014. 7 Figure 1 Malaysia in the Southe ast Asian region Apart from the great impact caused in matters of state governance, the British colonizers also effected var ious changes in the local scene through the introduction of English language education. In 1816 they established Penang Free School, the first mission school in the country and in the Southeast Asian region. Since then, English education grew and was uphel d as the main language of administration in Malaysia, until the pre - independence period when Malay nationalist s sought to replace English with the ir native language, Malay. 8 Today, Malaysia is battling between two opposing forces; the internal Malay nation alist ideology, and the impending forces of globalization and the internationalization of education. It is promoting national consciousness by using the Malay language and , at the same time, responding to the urgent need for global preparedness by using th e English language (David & - itudes along the way. Gill (2005) has noted that group, without consulting the end - (p. 243). Such policies could be detrimental to the b enefits of the end users, the students. Such language debates in Malaysia , with its conflicting purpose and the ensuing policies , have had ives regarding such issues are often over - shadowed by that of policymakers, curriculum writers, teachers, and parents. There should be more efforts to elicit a in such matters. Currently, there i s little effort to go beyond an exploration of the prescribed language curriculum and the identification of teaching methodologies. While these are important aspects of teaching and s and attitudes towards the learning and usage of English language. Students are also the co - producers of knowledge in school settings, and therefore our not hearing their stories, and not making sense of them, particularly in the issues of identity, has l ed to a gap in gaining a better understanding of their is a waste of learning opportunity, and hence a study of this nature is necessary. 9 This study is , thus space and time, according to the two important components of narrative studies. It looks at cont extual factors such as their home and school environments. The location s taken into account in this study also cover the U.S. context where these students studied for their undergraduate degree for many years and have reported how their identities had also been transformed . I t is vital to understand their lived experiences in both locations, in Malaysia and the U.S., since the experiences gathered in the former has the potential to impact the happenings in the latter and vice versa . I used three research q uestions to guide this narrative study. Firstly, I sought to find out h attitudes towards the English language are shaped by their home backgrounds and schools . My next question is what is the impact of classroom learn ing on Malaysian students' identity as English language learners and users? Finally, how do Malaysian students' perceptions and attitudes towards English language impact their ethnic, national, and global identities? T he above research questions were inter related in that an understanding of one aspect led to the understanding of the other. Gaining insights into my were sent to particular schools in specific location s , and why their English language education s and usage were structured in particular manner s . This understanding on the type of schools and the kind s of people they interacted with, further explained why their learning in the classrooms were shaped in part icular manner s . Eventually, an understanding of the contextual factors related realm , in their interactions outside school and in interactions with people fro m different ethnic 10 groups. The interrelatedness of my three research questions has led me to structure them accordingly into the next three chapters. As I capture such stories of homes, schools, and the ies , I have also brought myself to bear on their stories. I have done this from my position as an insider in Malaysia, a second generation Malaysian of Indian descent who attended the public school system in the country and acquired English as a second languag e. In the upcoming sections, I first describe key historical events in Malaysia pertaining to English language education that have evolved into the current system undergone by my student participants. Next, I provide some details about the narrative metho dology that I have employed to conduct this study. This is followed by a brief description of the four students who participated in this study. The Historical Context Three key historical forces have shaped the linguistic landscape that currently prevails in Malaysia: (i) the introduction of English language education in the 19 th century by the colonial British government; (ii) the gradual rise of Malay nationalism among educated Malays , beginning from the 1920s , and (iii) the impending forces of globaliza tion and internationalization of education beginning from the 1980s. All three forces are of great significance in the ways they have shaped and transformed the thinking of Malaysians regarding the teaching and learning of English language and impacted the formulation of various language policies. All these factors have have an understanding of such issues. 11 Introduction of English Language Education The British colonizers introduced English language education in Malaysia beginning from the 19 th century for two purposes: i) to spread the language to the local population; and ii) to spread Christianity. According to Gaudart (1987), t his influence can be tra ced from 1816 , when Penang Free School was established as the first English school in the then Malaya, and in the Southeast Asian region. This mission school and later subsequent ones mostly served aristocratic Malays, urban Chinese, and Indians, and prepa red them for civil service ( Noor & Azahan, 2000) . The Malay aristocracy in particular received special care from the British in the form of knowledge of the ir language and upper - class English culture, to prepare them for administrative positions in the bur eaucracy (Roff, 1994). The British considered it their special responsibility to ensure the well - being of the Malays due to their self - identified position as the indigenous people of the land whose sheer number had outnumbered the original indigenous of th e land. It was the status of this group as the aristocratic s that helped their entry into the Malayan region. The establishment of the Malay College Kuala Kangsar in 1905, the first residential English school for the Malays in the country, wa s considered a s one of these special favors. The progress of English language education in Malaysia is tied closely to the development of the local vernacular education which had started even before the arrival of the colonizers. At the time of the British rule in 1874, the rural Malay population was already obtaining informal education focused mainly on Al Quran and religious matters in the pondok and madrasah schools . The British considered these schools as backward and not beneficial for my of the country (Seoyeon Choi, 2010). They soon set up f ormal 12 Malay vernacular schools for the Malays, and Chinese and Tamil vernacular schools in the rural areas for the immigrant population they had imported into the country . All these vernacular schoo ls were only at primary level and ended at Standard 6 (age 12). The urbanized English schools, on the other hand, were established at both primary and secondary levels. Students, who completed their primary education in vernacular schools in the rural area s could only continue their secondary education in these English schools. Only a few of the rural Malays and the immigrant population made it this far due to factors related to finance and physical distance. At the same time, some of the Malays were also w ary of English language education because of what they perceived as Christian propaganda. They felt that English might pose a threat to their own religion, culture, and language (Zamani, 2002; Mariasoosay, 2006). For the major part, the British left the Ch inese and Tamil education of the immigrant population to themselves but not the Malay vernacular education. The British introduced the ir own texts and modern teaching methods i n these schools and anglicized the Malay language from Arabic to Romanized lette rs (Seoyeon Choi, 2010). In stark contrast to the Malay schools, the Chinese and Tamil schools developed their own distinct identities using educational philosophies and teachers imported from China and India. In the early stages of the arrival of these im migrant population s , there was a great desire among them to return to their homelands at some point ; thus there was an urge to retain their language and other cultural aspects. However, eventually there were inter - marriages with the local population, and s ome of them eventually decided to make Malaysia their new home. This increasing new national allegiance , beginning from the 19 th century, led the teaching content in the se schools to eventually acquire a localized flavor . 13 Th ese two sets of education, vernacular Malay Chinese , and Tamil in the rural areas , and English language in the urban areas , impact ed Malaysians in many ways. They caused s egregat ions based on rac e , economic standing , and language of instruction ( Shome, 2002) , and between Vernacular education was considered to be of lesser quality compared to the elitist English education available in the town areas (Pillai, 1994). From its onset, the purpose accorded on these vernacular schools by the could continue their occupations as peasants (Ghee, 1995). According to Hasan (2005), this was , tion. Following this impact caused by English language education , Malay nationalism emerged as another major force that would change the Malaysian landscape and also impact the nature of English language education in the country . In the next section I ela borate on how these sentiments grew to be such a big force . Rise of Malay Nationalism According to historian William R. Roff (1994), an expert in the study of Malay history, Malay nationalism started in the 1920s when the Mala y elites began to regard th e British colonizers and the immigrant Chinese and Indian population as threats to what they perceived as their indigenous status in the nation. The Malays noticed a widening social status among the ethnic groups that came with the acquisition of the Engli sh language. The se Mala y elites felt that number and also unhappy about the 14 co ncern about the growing number of Chinese shopkeepers and Indian moneylenders who were growing more affluent. The urban Malays, who were mostly middle or lower - rung government employees, also looked at these immigrants with contempt, since they were percei ved to control populations, there was also a rising dissatisfaction among those Malays who became aware of the three hierarchical groups in their own community: the ur ban Malay bourgeoisie who founded modern Malay journalism and intelligentsia; the radicals and the English - schooled from the aristocratic Malays; and the peasants (Roff, 2009). e to retain their self - - name to define themselves. The British - bangsa Melayu order to differentiate them from the immigrants, the Pendatang , or This eventually allowed the Malays the self - ascribed term, the Bumiputera , them certain sp ecial privileges denied to the others. The original inhabitants of Peninsular Malaysia from the various aboriginal groups, were, however, left out of this debate. That said, they were eventually brought into the fold as Bumiputera much later. Indeed, the native population in the states of Sabah and Sarawak in East Malaysia, the Kadazan , Iban , Bajau etc were also later categorized as Bumiputera (O ne of my student participant s living in this region would later confide to me during one of my interviews 15 with h er that this was merely a - class Bumiputera status ) . While such sentiments were going on, Malay nationalistic sentiments were further heightened by the British proposal in 1946 to form a Malayan Union that would recognize the sovereignty of the Mal ay rulers but that would also transfer further powers to the British while giving citizenship to the large number of non - Malays living in the Peninsula. 3 This plan was eventually discarded by the British after seeing the strong Malay resistance. According to Roff (1987), such Malay sentiments were strong particularly among the large number of Malays from Malaysia (and Indonesia) who were studying in the University of Al - Azhar in Cairo. The group awareness among them led to the formation of student associat ions abroad that increased their participation in the larger social and economic life in Malaysia, and To hold steadfast to their identity, certain symbols became necess ary for these nationalists -- symbols that could potentially reinstate their identity and strength among the immigrant population and restrict the role played by the English language. The establishment of certain n ationalistic institutions such as the Sultan - medium newspapers were seen as part of this effort. Apart from establishing such symbolic identities, not surprisingly, the Malays also demanded that a national language should replace English in order to have a Ma laysian identity for the multiethnic nation. This idea was verbalized by the then - the National Language is not introduced, our country will be devoid of a unified character and 3 Lian, K. F. (2001). Construction of Malay identity across nations: Malaysia, Singapore, and Indonesia. Bijdrag en tot de Taal - , Land - en Volkenkunde . 157(4). pp . 861 - 879 16 Soon, a nationalistic agenda was to become the next historical force that would shape the language policies in Malaysia. It sought to restrict the status of English l anguage education that was introduced by the British in 1861, both as a medium of instruction in schools and as the language of administration. National Language Policies The looming Malay nationalistic sentiments described above soon led the government t o formulate national educational policies that, beginning from the 1950s, would reflect ethnic - identity from the colonizers and the local immigrant population. Malay language was officially chosen to begin this asp ired nationalistic agenda. It was a language with a plausible claim to indigenous status and was widely spoken in the region. - building, national identity, and unity among the multiethnic and multilingual groups ( Gaudart, 1987; Gill, 2005; Ibrahim, 1980, Tollefson & Tsui, 2004 ). According to Pandian (2004), unify the different ethnic groups as well as the - - English speaking people ( p. 273). Apart from these reasons, the Malays also believed that elevating Malay language to the position of a national language would give it the educational and administrative backing neede d to achieve a higher status (Puteh, 2010) while providing the population with the linguistic capital and economic opportunity that would lead to social and professional mobility (Gill (2005). The Chinese and Indians did not offer much resistance to the choice of Malay as the national language because the Malays used the issue of citizenship as a bargaining tool. According to Asmah (1987), in the past, citizenship was offered to non - Malays only by right of 17 birth in the nation, but after independence, it - 247). Once the Malay language was widely accepted, mostly for its unifying role, the government drafted various educational po licies and implemented them even before independence. A series of policies were put in place: namely, the Barnes Report (1950), the Fenn - Wu Report (1952) that culminated as the Education Ordinance in 1953, and the Razak Report (1956) that culminated as the Education Ordinance in 1957. The Barnes Report (1950) contended that the medium of instruction in all schools should be English and Malay, with Malay as the main language of instruction followed by English language as the second medium. It also called for the conversion of all the Chinese and Tamil vernacular schools into Malay schools, citing vernacular education as unreasonable public expenditure. This policy raised concerns among the immigrant population who perceived this an attempt to undermine their language and cultural heritage. These sentiments were particularly strong among the Chinese population. Following this dissatisfaction, two experts in Chinese education, Dr. W. P. Fenn and Dr. Wu The Yau were selected to provide further recommendations. U nder the Fenn - Wu Report (1951), they recommended the continuation of English and Malay - medium schools as well as vernacular Chinese and Tamil schools that would adopt, however, a Malayan - oriented syllabus. This committee called for a national curriculum, u nlike the previous recommendation made by the Barnes Report. These recommendations, however, were not implemented due to economic recession. The Razak Report (1956) that came after this rejected the previous bilingual school idea recommended by the Barnes Committee, proposing instead two categories of primary schools: 18 Standard Primary Schools using Malay as the medium ( Sekolah Kebangsaan ), and Standard - Type Primary Schools ( Sekolah Jenis Kebangsaan ) using Chinese, Tamil, and English as the medium of instru ed Chinese or Tamil classes as single subjects if fifteen parents requested them. The Razak Report also proposed a common co The following year after the Razak Report was announced, Malaysia was given concern after this was nation - building and national identity. This aim was reflected in the Rahman Talib Report (1960) t hat recommended that instruction in Malay as the best means of developing a truly Malayan consciousness. At the same time, it also propagated the continuous teaching and learning of English but only as a compulsory secondary subject. It reported that - books and literatures of the world. A command of it is one of our national assets 4 After this, the Parliament passed the 1961 Education Act based on the Razak and Rahman Talib Reports. In - building efforts culminated in the National Language Act . All the aggressive nationalistic policies outlined above culminated in a gradual increase in demand for Malay and vernacular schools compared to English - medium schools, and therefore indicate, to some degree, the success of nation - building policies. The Educational Review Committee Report (1960) indicates this shift : 4 Repor t of the Educational Review Committee 1960. Federation of Malaya. http://satusekolahuntuksemua.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/020_report - of - the - education - review - committee - 1960.pdf Accessed: 20 February 2014. 19 Table 2 Total Number of Assisted Schools on 15 th May, 1960 (Adapted) 5 Types of Schools Total No. of Schools Total No. of Schools Pending Approval Malay medium 2,338 482 Chinese medium 1,066 257 Tamil medium 811 236 English medium 469 166 To tal 4,684 1,131 o n the 13 th of May in 1969, a racial riot occurred between the Malays and non - Malays in Kuala Lumpur, the capital city. This was after the national election res ults were announced whereby the opposition party consisting of more non - Malays, particularly the Chinese, had won by higher margin in the Parliament. Official reports stated that a feud occurred between the Malays and non - Malays, with hundreds of people ki lled and mutilated, and many more displaced. Informal conversations with older Malaysian citizens, on the other hand, will say that this number should be in the thousands, and that the river in Kuala Lumpur, that day, literally ran in blood. Two months af ter this riot , while the country was still reeling in a state of shock, the then Minister of Education, Haji Abdul Rahman Ya'akub, obviously reacting with further nationalist fervor, announced over national 5 Ibid. p. 7 20 television that from January 1970, all English me dium schools would be converted into Malay - medium, starting from Standard 1 and moving up the education system with that group until 1983 or 1984 when conversion would be complete ( Gaudart, 1987) . The Minister made this declaration without the knowledge an d consent of the Prime Minister or the Cabinet. T he English - about the conversion with dissatisfaction. In their understanding, Malay language was to be made the main medium of instruc tion, followed by English as a secondary medium. To their disbelief, only Tamil and Chinese primary schools continued to exist, while English medium schools were to be phased out ( Gaudart, 1987) . In this conversion process, Gaudart noted the plight of the t eachers in the English - medium schools who now had to teach in Malay. (Interestingly, this situation made a complete turn - around exactly three decades later, when a sudden revival of English under a new educational policy, caused the teachers to struggle t hen to teach in English language.) The announcement by the Minister indicated, how after the riot, the Malaysian government took it as a legitimate reason to intensify its nation - building policies in order to prevent similar occurrences in the future. Th is dark moment in Malaysian history has since the name of national stability, politicians on both sides of the benches continuously allude to this past ethnic violence and engage in fear - mongering speeches to the public. After the riot in 1969, English - medium schools still remained for a few more years but their enrolment dropped slightly . T he enrolment in the Malay and Chinese schools , on the other hand, saw a n increase . During the first half of 1970s, when the nationalistic agenda was at its 21 peak, enrolment in the Malay medium schools increased nearly three times, as shown in the table below: 6 Table 3 Primary Enrolment Trends by Language Stream, Peninsula r Malaysia Year Malay Stream English Stream Chinese Stream Tamil Stream All Streams No. Index No. Index No. Index No. Index No. Index 1947 170, 693 100 57, 013 100 190, 349 100 35, 386 100 453, 441 100 1956 392, 012 229 135, 875 238 291, 224 153 48, 212 136 867, 323 191 1961 503, 041 295 218, 100 382 378, 031 198 64, 355 182 1,163, 527 2 56 1966 575, 991 337 275, 848 484 352, 517 185 76, 691 217 1, 281, 047 282 1974 942, 479 552 61, 846 108 470, 472 247 79, 814 225 1, 554, 611 343 Source: Educational Statistics of Malaysia 1938 - 1967; Education in Malaysia, 1974 6 Rudner, M. (1977). Education, Development and Change in Malaysia. South East Asian Studies . V 15 (1). p. 44 22 The data above goes to show how the educational policies that were born after the rise of Malay nationalism were able to gradually transfo rm the linguistic landscape put in place by the British in the 19 th century. From 1970 to 1983, this a ggressive transformation process converted all the schools, except Chinese - and Tamil - medium schools , in to Malay - medium schools (Pennycook, 1994). This c onversion was completed in 1975 at the primary level, at the secondary level in 1981, and at the university level in 1985. Proficiency level in the Malay language rose after this, paving the way for easier inter - ethnic communication and integration. On o ne hand, Malaysia was able to put in place a national identity following the Malay nationalistic sentiments that rose from the 1920s; however, an unforeseen force in the form of globalization and the internationalization of education soon caused another hi storical shift. The overly nationalistic educational policies that had sidelined English language soon revealed language, Malaysia was now forced to reconsider bringi ng it back to the forefront. Impending Global Force In Malaysia, globalization and internationalization of education became a force to be reckoned with during the periods of 1980s and 1990s. During this time, like many other nations, Malaysia was also f orced to be a member of an increasingly interconnected knowledge - based world with rampant trade expansion and foreign investment. As it became more integrated with as necessary for Malaysia to produce a more skilled labor force to meet its industrial demands. The challenge for developing nations such as Malaysia was to produce human capital that wa s knowledgeable, competent , and globally competitive. 23 However, the be ginnings of 1990s was also the period when the Malaysian government realized that its nationalistic policies had resulted in the loss of English language fluency among the people (Nunan, 2003). Teachers, parents, employers, and policy makers noticed the de terioration of English proficiency among students. There were reports of higher graduate unemployment, particularly among the Malays (David & Govindasamy, 2007; Mustafa, 2002). Just in 2002 alone, 40,000 graduates from Malaysian public universities were un employed due to their lack of English language skills (Mustapha, 2002). Researchers noted a widening gap in English language proficiency among the mostly Malay rural students and urban Chinese and Indians. Th had in fact created an English - speaking elite class, a continuation of the hierarchy that existed in the past. The Malaysian government soon began to re - think some of its previous language policies (Mustafa, 2002). Even though Malay language was preferred in the fostering of multiethnic unity and integration within Malaysia, especially after the infamous 1969 riot, the need for English was felt for global participation. Furthermore, in 1991, the former Prime Minister of Malaysia, Mahathir Mohamad,launched Wawasan 2020 (Vision 2020) that also needed English proficiency for its successful implementation. This, too, was a national ideology, but with a different goal: to aspire Malaysians towards achieving the status of a developed nation by the year 2020. To s tep up its global presence, Malaysia needed to undertake various steps that went against its own previous emphasis on national language. On one side, it continued its Malay language policy in the public schools, and on another side, the government encourag ed and permitted the use of extensive English in the private sector . As part of its liberalization program, it approved new public and private universities, and private colleges. It also encouraged twinning programs with local and foreign universities. But soon after this, the government, realizing the continuing 24 deterioration of English language standards in the public schools, considered re - introducing the language in the teaching of math and science. These conversations all followed the call made by the then Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad for a re - definition of nationalism. He said, We need to move from the extreme form of nationalism which concentrates on being a We want our people to succeed, to be able to stand tall, to be respected by the rest of the (Interviewed by Gill & Hazita, 16 June 2005) 002, English was re - introduced as the medium of Standard and Standard - type schools at three grade levels: Standard 1 (age 7), Form 1 (age 13), and Lower 6 (age approximately 19), with the idea that by 2008 all the three government examinations at the primary and secondary levels would be in English. There were many enthusiastic supporters for this policy. Some welcomed English and national education in Malay, and vernacular education in Chinese and Tamil. Others welcomed it due to its rising importance as the global language of commerce. However, this announcement also evoked fear in others who were concerned that the language that was once systematically reduced by a nationalist policy, might now rise to replace the Malay language. At least 5,000 25 ethni c Malays took to the streets in Kuala Lumpur in this year in 1969 to voice their opposition was seen by ex - minister Zainuddin Maidin as an action by fanatic xenophobia 7 The resistors of this new policy argued that this was a move towards colonial subjugation. They pointed to a few countries, such as Japan and China, that have risen in the world arena despite not emphasizing English. A few feared that students would be unable to cope with English as the medium of instruction (Hashim, 2003). Doubts were also expressed about the mostly - Malay - medium ed ucation themselves. Chinese education organizations such as Dong Zong also expressed concern over the replacement of Chinese by English in teaching these vital subjects. Some Tamil educationists, on the other hand, gave the impression of sitting on both si des of the fence. Despite these criticisms, the government still implemented PPSMI in 2002. However, it was abolished in 2008 due to intense opposition from the nationalists, 8 and review reports that pointed to incompetent teaching of the subjects (more on this in Chapter 3). In the beginning of this section on the historical context in Malaysia, I mentioned three key historical forces that have shaped the current linguistic landscape: (i) the introduction of English language education in the 19 th centu ry by the colonial British government; (ii) the gradual rise of Malay nationalism among educated Malays beginning from the 1920s , and (iii) 7 Daily Express. Ex - Minister slams Malay fanatics opposed to PPSMI . 16 November 2013. http://www.dailyexpress.com.my/news.cfm?NewsID=87196 8 Lotbiniere , M. D. Malaysia drops English lan guage teaching . 10 July 2009. http://www.theguardian.com/world/2009/jul/10/malaysia - tefl 26 the impending forces of globalization and internationalization of education beginning from the 1980s. Throughout thi s section, I described each one of these forces to provide the contextual factors that have led to the current English language policies. Understanding these factors are of age policies that impacted the student participants in this study, and had played an immense role in the construction of their identities. In the next section, stories in order to find out h ow their identities as learners and users of English language have been shaped and reconstructed. The Narrative Journey I have used the narrative inquiry framework propagated by Clandinin and Connelly ived experiences and making meaning out of them. This approach enables researchers to draw out the stories necessary for an in - depth study and understanding, through a series of interviews, that otherwise might be hidden. Narrative inquiry has the capabili t y to draw out underlying beliefs, assumptions, and hidden experiences, and further shape new understandings in a systematic manner. According to Connelly and Clandinin (1990), narrative is the study of the ways human experience the world. It is the constr chosen for this study because of the meaning and understanding it can giv e to our lives through stories (Trahar, 2009). 27 Methodology I have employed the two important features outlined by Clandinin and Connelly (2006), - conduct my stud y. temporality sociality place e positioning of an experience at a particular time and place and is thus looked at in relation to the past, present, and future of the people, places, things, and events under study. In doing this, narrative inquirers are required to juxtapose their own n otions of temporality with the lives, places, things, and events in look into the feelings, hopes, desires, aesthetic reactions, and moral dispositions of bot h the researcher and the participants. These dispositions are juxtaposed with the social conditions where the experiences and events have unfolded. The third commonplace in narrative inquiry, experiences under study have taken place. - the middle of the narrative account, located somewhere along the physical dimensions of time, place, the personal, and the social. At the same time, he/she is also required to position in a position to examine thoroughly the complexities involved in analyzing a particular experience. 28 According to Clandinin and Connelly (2000), this framework enables inquiries to travel in inward, outward, backward, and forward, and at the same time they are also situated within place connected and interact with one another, leading on to more experiences. This is done by moving inward such as feelings, hopes, aesthetic reactions, and moral outward and by moving backward and forward - Narratives gathered in this manner have both social and personal meanings because they exist as a continuum spreading across many other inter - connected experiences (both our own and others), and they are firmly embedded within a social context. In studies involving narrative inquiry, the narrative form takes a dual role: it functions as a method of study, and at the same time it is also the phenomenon that is under study. Thus, in this study regarding stories are the p henomena under study, and at the same time, those stories are also the method used to Thus, narratives, in these instances, play a dual - role in enabling data to be gathered, and at the same time they are also the product or the form of the data gathered. Thus, narratives are both the methods used to collect data and the form in which they are presented to the world. The findings that are presented at the e nd also take a narrative form in its telling. Procedures In this section, I will next detail the specific methods or procedures used in this narrative study. I chose four Malaysian participants from diverse backgrounds to participate in this study: 29 t wo Malays, an Indian, and a Chinese of mixed parentage . The criteria used in their selection were that they should be of Malaysian nationality, and had obtained their schooling there. I decided to use students who are currently studying in the U.S. in orde r to get easy access to them, but just as significantly, to situate their English learning in a world where travel and cross - border interactions are increasingly common. The participants were first informed of the objectives of this study and the timeframe involved. After recruiting them, I met with each one of them individually,explained the requirements of this study, and I obtained their consent to participate in this study using the form approved by the University Institutional Review Board (IRB). I co llected the data for this study over a period of two years with four students. Sometimes I had to schedule my meetings with them far apart due to the their personal and educational commitments. I interviewed my first participant, who was also an acquaintan ce, in early 2012. My work with her was part of an earlier study on this topic, but because the themes we explored developed into the topic for my dissertation, I decided to include her stories in this study. I told this participant about my study, and sh e agreed to volunteer. We only met twice formally for the interviews because soon after that she graduated and returned back to Malaysia. My first interview with her covered general topics such as her family background and school life. In my second intervi ew with her, I went further in depth into her school background, and particularly on her English language learning experiences and usage, both in Malaysia and in the U.S. 30 My interviews with the other three students were held more recently, in late 2012 and early 2013. They had all volunteered for my study after seeing an email that I had sent to all the Malaysian students through the university. In this email, I briefly described my study and mentioned that I am preferably looking for participants from the various ethnic groups in Malaysia. Only three female students responded to my email, and I decided on all of them, especially since they were all from diverse backgrounds as I had wanted. I conducted four individual interview sessions with these studen ts. Before beginning my formal sessions with them, I called two of them for a short chat in the campus. I had not met them before, so I wanted to talk with them personally before calling them for formal interview sessions. I already knew the third particip ant, so I decided to call her directly for the first interview. Similar to the first participant, who by then had returned to Malaysia, I also met these three students at various venues on the university campus. After my four interview sessions with them, I called all of them together for a focus group meeting in my apartment. Most of my interview sessions with the student participants began in an informal manner, with greetings and questions about how they were doing in their academic work in the universit y. I only started audio taping the sessions during the formal question and answer session that usually began after about five or ten minutes. Once, the formal recording only took place about thirty minutes after the initial conversation, but this was a pa rticularly rich session where I learned a lot about the student and her future aspirations. On a few occasions, the direction of my conversations with participants drifted to other sensitive and personal issues, especially those related to ethnicity and re ligion, but I still allowed them because they were related to the topics of identity and experience that are so central to this study. I also considered them as important details to understand the students better. Even though I encouraged such talks, I mad e sure that 31 they were not recorded, or in the case when they were, I made sure that they were not transcribed or reported in ways that would violate the trust we had established. All my formal interview sessions with the students were methodologically dri ven. I went for all these sessions with a set of open - ended questions carefully prepared under the guidance of my dissertation directors. The questions asked were all open - ended and non - directive. They were intended to help build rapport with the student p articipants, and also to make the conversation flow with ease . The students were always given ample time to reflect before answering each question . The questions asked were structured according to the needs of the research questions, ones designed to find language learning experiences and usage of the language in Malaysia and the U.S. I had four rounds of questioning sessions with the students. My first interview focused on general questi ons pertaining to their home and educational background. In the next interview, I asked students to reflect and describe a particular event that stood out for them during their schooling life. Some participants used this occasion to speak about several eve nts which I incorporated into my data. In the next interview, I asked them to think of an experience of using English in the school and their classrooms. In my last interview, I asked my student participants to talk about their experiences in using English outside the school with other members in the community. During this interview, I also asked them about their usage of English in the U.S. context where they are currently studying, and their personal opinions on the issues of identity, ethnicity, and lang uage use in Malaysia. I also tried to glean information on their future plans and the reasons behind those decisions. In all these interview sessions, but particularly in the last three, the goal was to have the participants share their life experiences wi th as many concrete 32 detail s as possible. I sought b oth school and community narratives because I assumed that both settings were important in the understanding of their overall experiences as English language learners and speakers. After each round of ques tions, I immediately transcribed the interview to enable me to analyze and pick out particular stories that stood out from the , that I deemed were interesting and would be of value to my study. Picking out certain stories or themes in this manner also helped me to plan the direction of my next round of questions. Thus, some of the questions asked in the subsequent rounds were follow - ups of the previous ones. After four such individual interviews, I decided to have a final focus group meeting with the three students to enable them to share with one another the ir experiences of learning English in Malaysia that they had shared with me thus far. They were given time to comment and ask questions on one initial conver sation , I asked them their personal opinions pertaining to the issues of language, ethnicity, national , and global identity. This setting was not only a fitting way for me to signal to my participants that the research side of our relationship will be comi ng to a n end , but also afforded me the opportunity to test out my findings about the implicit meanin gs embedded in their narratives in a more dialogic and explicit manner. Once I obtained the data from the fifteen interviews, I transcribed them personally, verbatim, and copies of these field texts were given to the participants for them to do member checks. The first few times, I gave them the transcripts in the form of hardcopies, but later switched to sending them emails of these copies. As mentioned by C landinin and Connelly (2000), after I had constructed these field texts (i.e. transcripts), I created charts out of them, one for each of the four participants, and across the four interviews. In these charts, or what Connelly 33 and Clandinin (2000) refer to thematically for easy reference and analysis. During the final focus group meeting, I gave the three student participants a hard copy of all the field texts or transcripts that I had obtaine d from them in the past to remind them of the stories that they had narrated to me previously . This was because s ome of the meetings that I had with them were quite far apart , and so I wanted to give them the space to recall and reflect on what had transpi red during the previous meetings. These research texts then became the basis of my analysis and interpretation of the student forth with the research texts to fo rm an understanding of how the experiences interlinked and shaped one another in the construction of their personal, ethnic, national, and global identities. I e xperiences. Finally, I cross - linked all the events for similarities or differences. Since my student participants represented the three major ethnic groups in Malaysia (Malay, Chinese, and Indian), I also looked at the similarities and differences that mig ht occur as a result of these ethnic differences. Finally, as is expected of all narrative inquirers, I then looked at each one of these individual events in relation to the larger social conditions found in the Malaysian context, during their time of scho oling , and also at the previous events that had led to the present. In order to unwrap, understand, and interpret the meanings within such complexities, it was essential for me to position myself in the middle of all these experiences. I have done this, w here deemed necessary, with an insider knowledge as a Malaysian and a s a student with English language learning experiences in the country. 34 Information about Participants As mentioned earlier, this study was concerned about English language learning exp eriences of four students who had their primary and secondary education in Malaysia and later continued their tertiary education in the U.S. This section now provides some information about the participants before embarking further into their personal and collective stories in the upcoming chapters. The first student, Azura (pseudonym) , was a forty - year - old Malay female who came from a family of eight siblings. At the time of my interviews with her, Azura was a doctoral student in a university in the Midwes t. This soft - spoken mother of five was always neatly attired in a hijab and is looked up to by the younger Malaysian students in the community as an elder they can turn up to at all times . Azura was born and brought up in a kampung, a village in Kedah, the northern state in Peninsula Malaysia , close to the Thailand border (shown in Figure 2 below ) 9 . 9 http://trave lmalaysiaguide.com/malaysia - maps/ Accessed 15 January 2014. 35 Figure 2 Map of Malaysia mother was illiterate while her father , who attended a Malay school in the rural area , was only proficient i n the Arab ic language. All communication at home was conducted in Malay even though her el der sister , who was born in the 1950s , had attended an En glish - medium school. After her primary education in her kampung school, Azura was sponsored by the Malaysian government residential school in Alor S e tar, the capital city of Kedah , which was quite close to her village . After three year s of study in this school, she moved to a technical school in Penang where she completed her upper secondary education. Yet another 36 scholarship after this enabled her to study in a college in Kuala Lumpur, the capital city of Malaysia . She was here for sli ghtly more than two years before embark ing to the U.S. for her undergraduate studies. After obtaining her degree, Azura returned to Malaysia and took up a position in a private firm, got married, and eventually became an English teacher in a secondary scho ol. After this, she studied for a master degree in a local university in Malaysia, and a few years later, she obtained another scholarship to pursue her doctoral program in the U.S. As I write this, she has already graduated and is now in Malaysia holdin g a n administrative position at the federal level . Ani (pseudonym) , the second student I interviewed, was a twenty - three year old Malay girl. She was the youngest among the four students I interviewed for this study. She was born and brought up in metropol itan Kuala Lumpur , the capital of Malaysia, and yet n othing in her appearance gave away the fact that she was a city girl. Beneath her soft - demeanor , in her hijab that she had always worn since her primary school days, there appeared to be a highly opinion ated and confident person. Ani studied in public schools in her neighborhood, speaking only Malay at home. U pon graduation from secondary school , she wanted to attend a local public university , just like her older sister . Her sister was the first person in her family to obtain a university degree, and watching her achievements, Ani wanted to follow in her footsteps. Upon the insistence of her sister, Ani appl ied for a government scholarship to study abroad and was awarded with one . A s part of this program , Ani attended a government - funded two - year foundation program in a private college in a state known as Negeri Sembilan . Upon finishing this , she flew to the U.S. for her undergraduate program in the sciences. As I write this, Ani has already graduated and is currently in Malaysia hoping to find a job suitable to her area of study with the fervent hope that somedays she will be able to continue her studies. 37 Sarah (pseudonym) , the third student interviewed for this study, was a confident twenty - five years old and was a third generation Indian in Malaysia. She was of multiple Indian lineages, since her grandparents came from Sri Lanka and a few different states in South India . In her family that had multiple Indian languages , English was accepted and spoken as the main language . Just like Ani, Sarah was also born in Kuala Lumpur ; however, family moves made her begin her early education in Penang, a state in Peninsula Malaysia. For a year, she studied in a Chinese kindergarten before moving to another Chinese school in the same area for Standard 1. A few months later , her family moved back to Kuala Lumpur where she completed her primary and secondary school education . After this, Sarah undertook a twinning program in a local private college. This twinning pro gram is an academic program in Malaysia whereby part of the foreign degree program wa s done in Malaysia while the last few years were continued between a year to a few years in the parent university in western countries such as the U.S., U.K, or Australia. ( I ncidentally, a few years later, Ani also attended this college . ) After her foundation program, Sarah came to the U.S. to study for two more years, to complete her undergraduate twinning program in the sciences. After obtaining her degree, Sarah returned to Malaysia to work in a medical center to gain work experience before com ing to the U.S. once again to continue has already graduated and returned to Malaysia. She hopes to gain some practical work experience before deciding on a specialization area for her future studies. Jay (pseudonym) , the last Malaysian student I spoke to for this study, was a thoughtful twenty - three year old girl who was the same age as Ani. Unlike the three student par ticipants mentioned earlier , Jay was from Sabah, the northern state in East Malaysia, on Borneo Island (see Figure 2). She was of Sino - Kadazan heritage, her father was a second generation Chinese 38 born in Sabah, while her mother was a native Kadazan, the la rgest indigenous group in Sabah, Like most of the others in her mixed ethnic group, Jay had an Anglicized name. She studied in a Chinese primary school in Sabah that was mostly attended by Kadazan - speaking students. After six years of vernacular education , she completed her secondary education in a Malay - medium school. Then she obtained a government scholarship, similar to the one obtained by Ani, to pursue her studies in the U.S. But before that, she had to complete a two - year foundation program at a local institution. Unlike Ani , who was sent to a private college to do this , Jay was sent to a government institution in the southern state in Peninsula Malaysia, Negeri Sembilan (see Figure 2). This was her first trip to West Malaysia and here she live d among the Malay students in a dorm . After completing this program, Jay came to the U.S. to study for her undergraduate degree , also in the sciences, like Ani and Sarah. She graduated last year and , at the time of my writin g, is currently pursuing a doctoral program at the same university. Table 4 below, give s some brief information about the participants for quick reference in the future chapters. 39 Table 4 Brief Information about Student Participants Name ( Pseudonym) Age Ethnicity / Category Location Education Azura 40 Malay ( Bumiputera) Kedah, West Malaysia Entire education in Malay - medium schools. Primary education in a kampung school. Attended two government - funded residential schools at sec ondary level in the city , t wo - year government - funded foundation program in Kuala Lumpur , followed by undergraduate studies in the U.S. Complet ed d octoral program in the U.S. a nd has returned to Malaysia . Ani 23 Malay ( Bumiputera) Kuala Lumpur, the capit al of Malaysia Entire education in Malay - medium schools in Kuala Lumpur. Two - year government - funded foundation program in a private college in Negeri Sembilan, followed by undergraduate studies in the U.S. Complet ed her program and has returned to Malaysia . Sarah 25 Indian (non - Bumiputera) Kuala Lumpur Attended Chinese kindergarten for a year, and three months of Standard 1 in Chinese vernacular school. Completed primary and secondary education in Malay - medium schools. Did t winning pr ogram in private college and completed undergraduate studies in the . Completed Master program in the U.S. and has returned to Malaysia. Jay 23 Sino - Kadazan ( Bumiputera) Sabah, East Malaysia Attended Chinese primary school . Completed secondary education in Malay - medium school. Two - year government - funded foundation program in West Malaysia followed by undergraduate studies in the U.S. Currently, doctoral student in the same university. 40 Direction of Study I have framed t his study using the themes on how homes and schools have shaped the individual, ethnic, national, and global identities of Malaysian students. I have used five c hapters to explore these issues , as outlined below: Chapter 1: Identity and the Sambalizing Jo urney In this introductory chapter that you have just read , I provided the historical context for this study, the reasons for carrying out this study, information about how the study was carried out, and background information about the students. I also p rovided the definition of some of the terms that I have used in the way I have conceptualized them in this study. Chapter 2: Home, School, and Language Attitudes I n this chapter, I describe the surrounding their home s and school s , wit h an emphasis on the learning of English language and its position in their lives . I describe the type of schools they attended and show how perceptions and attitudes differently . C hapter 3 : Classroom s and Identity Formation While Chapter 2 looks at the larger home - school milieu, t his chapter zeroes in and looks at classroom experiences and how they we re shaped within the Malaysian schools. It relates these experiences with their prior perceptions and attitudes towards English language. This ch apter also talks about the language debates that are currently taking place in Malaysia, particularly in relation to the teaching and learning of English language. 41 Chapter 4 : As the Ground Shifts ir homes, schools, and classrooms to the larger social realm. In narrating their out - of - school experiences, I also elaborate on their views and opinions pertaining to issues of language, ethnicity, culture, ethnicity, national, and global identities . It al so talks on the notion of what it means to be a Malaysian and to have a Malaysian identity . Chapter 5 : Of Imaginings Far and Near T he major themes derived from the previous chapters on th is on their experiences at home , school, classroom, and the social realm are, in this concluding chapter, summarized . I also reflect on the pedagogical implications of the study , and how my thinking as a narrative inquirer ha d been shaped in the process of conducting this study. 42 CHAPTER TWO Home, School, and Language Attitudes - dependent . T hus , upon entering important social sites such as schools, their prior notions of themselves are manifested in multiple ways; older identities result ing from family backgrounds are emphasized or transformed, and newer ones are created or acquired. Sometimes certain attributes can also be bestowed upon them in the form of labeling and categorization. These are often based on factors that range from physical attr ibutes, places of origin, socio - economic background, language (s) spoken, and how they are spoken. Sometimes such social labeling and categorization have long - lasting negative impact s because of the distinct identities and compartmentalization that are acc orded to them. My own story of schooling and classification is an exemplification of this. I n the late sixties in Malaysia , I first entered a primary school in the sleepy town of Slim River, in the state of Perak (see Figure 2) . At that time, my friends and I must have looked quite a sight as we alighted from our creaking school bus to enter this school compound. Every day, we arrived at our school after seven miles of a bumpy and dusty ride on the dirt road from the estate . This was where our homes were situated , in the oil - palm plantation where our parents worked ; at an earlier time they were indentured workers shipped by the British colonial government from South India . They are now naturalized citizens of independent Malaysia. At th e time of my school ing, a few of our illiterate parents sidelined the vernacular Tamil school established by the British right at our doorsteps and embraced instead the English - language education in town. Undeterred by the additional burden this imposed on their limited earn ings, our parents continued putting us on that bus, day after day, for years , making us learn various subjects in 43 English and Malay during the weekdays, and our native Tamil language for two hours every Saturday. Looking back now, we must have looked ver y different then from the other students in town, since we always arrived at school speaking loudly and incessantly in Tamil. We also arrived smelling of the coconut oil that our mothers rubbed faithfully in enormous amounts on our unruly hair, to keep it in place. Sometimes a drop or two of the oil might glisten down our foreheads, drawing amuse d stares from the town - dwellers, teachers and students alike. We always knew those looks , but those stories were never brought home to our tired parents. In such an educational setting, it was the norm that most of us, the estate people , embraced failure. A few of us nevertheless , somehow always managed to crawl out of that crack, and years later ponder ed about those days in the distant past when our rustic simplicit y brushed against the Englishness and modernity of the town. Our reminiscing often brought b ack images of the dusty dirt road and our meek entrance into the town setting that provided glimpses of a world so distant from our own. These s nippets of life , fo r me at least , always brought back thoughts about the subtle and sometimes not so subtle Othering that often is crystallized in our traditional ways of being , as opposed to the English - speaking others. Did Azura, born and brought up in a kampung speaking only Malay language, feel the Othering too when her journey took her to the city at the age of thirteen? How about Ani, the city girl whose schooling exposed her to another possibility? How different was it for Sarah and Jay , who came from different home b ackgrounds and school systems that bestowed upon them a certain elitism not found in the first two students? In th e ir case , did they become the condescending Others who accorded upon others certain compartmentalizing social labels? 44 In this chapter, I expl ore particular instances, similar to my estate story, that might possibly shed light on the English language were shaped and reconstructed within their various home and school settings. I have done this by narrating their individual stories and by comparing and contrasting them with one another, and finally by juxtaposing them with the larger social context, both at the national and global level. H ome and School Stories In this section, I f irst n arrate the schooling life of Azura, the Malay participant from Kedah , who attended a kampung school from the age of seven before moving to an elite residential school for the next five years. Next, I describe the lived experiences of Ani, also of Malay eth nicity, who attended regular Malay - medium schools at both the primary and the secondary levels in an urban setting. Sarah, the next participant , was of Indian origin ; she attended a Chinese kindergarten and a vernacular Chinese school for slightly over a y ear before moving to an elite public school to complete her primary education, and later to a regular secondary school. After exploring the above stories of Azura, Ani, and Sarah , who were from two different states i n P eninsula Malaysia, I will next contin ue my narration with Jay , who is of Sino - Kadazan origin , from Sabah in West Malaysia. She attended a Chinese vernacular school that had a strong Kadazan identity before moving to an elite secondary school, also in Sabah, her home state. In the narration of these stories, I hope to find out h perceptions and attitudes towards the English language, as learners and users of the language, were shaped by their home backgrounds and schools. 45 If a foreign visitor t o Malaysia w as to shift her gaze from the oil palm and rubber estate plantations to another direction in the vast rural area, she would notice a unique landscape locally known as a kampung . This is a rural traditional village settlement that was a part of the Malaysian scenery for centuries and evolved over the years without losing its core structural and aesthetic identity. This living space is usually associated with the Malays , even though people of other ethnicit ies also live here in smaller numbers. Th e wooden houses built in this landscape are kampung . ) These wooden houses, built with thatched walls and roofs, stand on stilts to keep the floods away, and are fitted with large windows to enhance ventilation. They are often built without fences around them , in line with the concept of openness , both to be a part of the lush tropical greenery surrounding them and to enhance the concept of neighborly kinship. This latter quality is evident in the large interior spaces particularly kept for family activities and social events. Such is the simplicity of these houses and the inhabitants living within them. Many western researchers have lived in such kampung houses while conducting their resear ch in Malaysia. One of them is William R. Roff , who studied the origins of Malay nationalism and Islam for more than fifty years. Azura , the sixth child in a family of eight , was born and raised in such a setting in the state of Kedah. As is the norm for everyone living here, she too grew up conversing only in her native Malay language. T wo of her older siblings had attended English - medium schools that still existed during their time of schooling; her sister had all her subjects taught in English , with Ma lay as a single subject ; her brother, on the other hand, had learned three subjects in English, 46 similar to my own background. And yet . The irony in this situation was that just a few miles away from her home, in Alor Star which is the capital city of Kedah , the Unlike in the kampung and estate settings, English existed in this urban setting as an equally important language , along with the Mal ay, Chinese, and Tamil languages. Even though two decades had passed since Malaysia obtained its independence from the British, it seemed as though not much had changed in the status of the English language, at least among some people in this city. Its imp ortance could not be contained, even within its limited status as the second language. Thus, Azura grew up in a kampung setting, studying in a Malay - medium primary school for six years, oblivious of the looming importance of the English language just a few miles away from her home. the English language was limited to the daily forty minute - lessons that she obtained in her rural school. This was an old, wooden building from the 1920s that was situated just across the paddy field from her house. In this school, she remembered that she had a Malay teacher, an elderly person close to her retirement age, who taught her English. Accor ding to her, some of these English lessons were even conducted in the Malay language. The same teachers taught a few subjects , and sometimes one subject seamlessly blend ed into the . What d id she from them until Standard 5 when we had the Penilaian exam ( zura. At th e 47 grade level when all the public schools throughout the nation bustled as they prepared their students for the national ex amination. In preparation for this English test, students were drilled and told to memorize various language structures that had a high probability of being tested in the examination. Thus, for the entire duration of her primary school, English was almost like a foreign language for Azura, with the only exposure in school limited to studying for examination purposes. The linguistic scenery that existed in the nearby town did not dawn upon Azura. This realization only came to her as a thirteen - year old , whe n for the first time she set foot in a residential school in this town with a government scholarship. s tudent. , which was also one of the top schools in the nation. For the first time there, she met rich - looking Malay girls who came from throughout the state and had certain mannerisms that marked them differently. S he noted how they were not just good in English but good in everything. They also often switched to Malay whenever they were with students from the rural area. kampung thinking of her sc hool days . For her, they were show - offs who looked down at the kampung Azura The existence of these new students could not be missed because they walk ed along the school corridor in their glaringly different dressing. In the Malaysian secondary schools, Malay girls usually wore baju kurung , which consisted of a long - sleeved , loose white top that reached 48 the knees, and a turquoise skirt that reached the ankles. The non - Malay students, on the other hand, wore a white blouse that was usually short - sleeved, and over that they pulled over a turquoise, knee - length pinafore dress. It surprised Azura that these modern Malay girls wore the dress instead of the ba ju kurung . For the next five years, Azura studied in such an environment , the first three years with Malay students only, and the last two years in another elite school in the nearby state of Penang. This second school exposed Azura for the first time to E nglish - speaking - Apart from all these differences, Azura also noticed how they were grouped in different classrooms. The students from the rural area like her , who had entered the school with a scholarship , , the Rancangan Khas (RK) group. Thus, throughout her secondary school education, Azura saw herself branded as an RK student , unlike the others who came from a being Malays. This became a label that the school assigned to her and it stuck with her throughout her secondary school. Apart from that, the other names that stuck were that she was from a rural a rea and was a non - speaker of the English language. Not surprisingly, during the years spent in both her residential schools, Azura was never able to gain in - group membership in this group of modern English - speaking students. She remained an outsider for a long time, according to her, almost like a stranger within her own community. that the grouping system practiced by the school was not necessarily an indication of her intelligence , I was hard working. I always got SPM 49 Furthermore, i n her own RK group, she was among the top students, and she was always put in class for English lessons. Thus, on one side, she had high regards about her academic standing as a student , but in terms of her proficiency in the English language, she felt inadequate. In the primary school in her k ampung, it did not matter , but now it did , be cause she was surrounded by English - speaking students who exuberate d a lot of confidence. Both Ani and Sarah, the 23 year - old Malay and the 25 - year - old Indian students , respectively, we re born and brought up in metropolitan Kuala Lumpur, the capital city of Malaysia, often abbreviated as K.L. by the local population. Kuala Lumpur, the largest city in Malaysia , is located in the center of Selangor state i n Peninsula Malaysia. This Federal Territory has a population of about 1.6 million people. With its humble beginnings that started in the 1850s, it only obtained the status as a city in 1972. In the loc ation at the confluence of the Klang and Gombak rivers. This city is an attractive fusion of the old and new , the colonial architecture constantly reminding one of its historical heritage as the skyscrapers continue rising above the city. Kuala Lumpur is n ow the center of a fast - growing economy that also caters to various multicultural activities, in line with its Malaysia Truly Asia slogan. In recent years , since the onset of globalization more than anything, it is also showing rapid progress as an educati onal hub for public and private education in the Southeast Asian region. 50 Such is the nature of the city where both Ani and Sarah obtained most of their primary and secondary school education. This section explore s their narratives surrounding their homes and schools , in order to understand how their attitudes were formed as English language learners and users of the language. Ani. In the previous section, I narrated the story of Azura, schooled in the 1980s, for whom English was foreign in her home and neighborhood. In the case of Ani, schooled about a decade later, things were slightly different , since she was born and brought up in Kuala Lumpur. However, things did not happen as differently as one might expect for someone coming from such a metropolit an city. For her , too, English did not become a mode of communication at home , even though she had two older siblings who had obtained very high grades in English in their secondary school exam and in the Malaysian University Entrance Examination (MUET). Her father worked for a pharmaceutical company and often communicated in English with his counterparts in Europe, and yet English never became a part of th eir communication at home ; it was always Malay, their native language. From a young age, Ani watched Power Rangers , especially when it came with Malay subtitles. She watched English shows and listened to English songs , even though she was not always able to discern the lyrics Y experiences, English was still almost like a foreign lan guage in her everyday life. Ani explained why it turned out this way : find it weird, speaking with each other using a language which is not our mother tongue is th my family. We watch English stuff. But when we speak to 51 In the midst of such a home environment, the type of school that Ani attended also played a role in how English was positioned in her life. She attended Malay - medium schools for both her primary and secondary school education , for eleven years , and during this period she only had Malay students as classmates. According to her, most of the non - Malay students in her neigh borhood went to the Chinese - and Tamil - vernacular schools , and as a result Malayanized it lately . She only had her first non - Malay classmate at the age of fifteen, a Chinese boy who had his primary education in a vernacular Chinese school. He was unable to speak fluently in both Malay and English ; despite this, Ani and her friends insisted o Today, she wonders, instead and improve in my English ? mono - ethnic and mono - lingual in nature, both in its student and teacher make - up. Thus for Ani, both her schools became extended locations for further usage of the Malay language. they also had certain elements, at least in her primary school, that were similar to that of Azura. She, too, had students who turned out to b e embodiments of English - elitism. Ani had five English - speaking students in her classroom; two of them were the sons of her English teachers. Another student was of Malaysian and American parentage and s poke with an American accent . All these elite student s were rich, had good communication skills , particularly in English, and stood out in their leadership qualities. They always had more rapport with their teachers and were more preferred for participation in English - related activities. These high - class stu dents always drew envy from 52 students w ould remark among themselves with envy when they saw one of them walk confidently along the school corridors. Fortunately for An i, she was also elected as a school prefect alongside the elite students. This played a role in boosting her self - esteem when placed with them . This, on the other hand, had never taken place in the case of Azura, who felt most of the time that she was loo ked down on by the others in her RK Special Program classroom context. School prefects, in the Malaysian context, are outstanding students chosen by the school and the class room teachers to assist them in maintaining order and in carrying out special task s in the school on their behalf. Sometimes they were overworked with extra responsibilities ; however it was a sign of status. They stood out from all the other students in their closer proximity with the teachers , and in the way they dressed differently fr om the others ; some schools even provided them neckties and blazers. Currently, these prefects have become more noticeable than in the past , due to the leadership positions they often hold in student organizations and school level activities. This allowed Ani, too, to have a notion of elitism , just like the other elite English - speaking Malay students. After entering secondary school, Ani did not want to be a school prefect anymore. However, in spite of her reluctance, she was still chosen by her teacher to be one. There was a major change in scenario in this secondary school ; there were no more elite students , since most of them by now had left for the prestigious schools usually attended by English - speaking students like them. With the five elite students gone, Ani was now with students similar to her Malay - speaking background that only used English sparingly as required ; however, since she was in the top from her group, she was often put in the limelight (more on this in Chapter 3). 53 This was also a time w hen a major shift occurred in the positioning of the English language in her schooling life. When Ani entered secondary school as a Form 1 student (age 13) in 2003, the government re - introduced the English language to teach math and science, after nearly t hree decades of its reduction. Under this new policy , known as PPSMI, for the first time Ani now had three subjects taught in English. This new policy was upheld for the next five years, throughout her entire secondary school education, before its abolishm sentiments. In spite of this newly created environment, by the end of her secondary school, English still did not become a means of communication for her ; however, it did le a d to a gradual change in how she perceive d the English language. Ani began to acquire a positive attitude towards English , especially after the prominence she was receiving in the school. She continued being a school prefect and teachers call ed her to take part in English - related school activities, particular ly during the she even gave short speeches in English during the school assembly. In the past, in her primary school, only the five elite Malay students were considered for such things. This renewed attitude towards the E nglish language and her gradually growing confidence, however, did not go beyond her participation in such activities. With her friends and English teachers in the classroom, she continued speaking in Malay. Hearing Azu perceptions and attitudes towards them and the learning of English, I wondered what it would feel like to be someone in the elite category. In the last year of my primary school, in the seventies, I remember a time when Umi (pseudonym), a new student of Malay nationality, walked into my classroom. This tall and slim girl looked Malay , but looking back now, she might have been of mixed parentage. She came from a prestigious school a nd was only in my class for 54 a short period. During this time, I quickly realized how different she was from the rest of us. Everyone look ed at her with awe. Like all of us, she was also twelve years old , and yet we saw her exuberating so much confidence an d poise as she walked around speaking fluently in perfect English, as though it was the only language she used at home. By then, most of us, especially those from the rural area, had already acquired a fair bit of proficiency in the language and could shin e in our written work, but we still did not speak with such fluency . Today, as I think back of my school narratives in the 1970s , in relation to Azura and Ani schooling in the 1980s and 1990s , I could not help marveling at some of the similarities found in our stories. In the next section, I shift this exploration of English language experiences to that of Sarah, also from Kuala Lumpur like Ani, someone who would be considered as an elite student in the Malaysian context. What wa s the nature of her exper iences , from the other side of the fence? Sarah. Even though Malaysia saw the last of the British almost half a century ago, some fragments of colonial rule remained through what I like to call as the elite schools in Malaysia. These were the schools tha t were once the iconic symbol of British imperialism. Today, these former English - medium schools ha ve all been transformed into Malay - medium schools , but their old names ha ve been retained. Currently there are 462 missionary schools , 227 in Peninsular Mala ysia and 235 in East - Malaysia (Oon & Hock, 2008). In this study, I have attributed t o these mission schools a notion of elitism that I see is absent in the other regular public schools. M ost of them are still run in grandeur colonial buildings with their former names still intact. An onlooker in Malaysia , today , will be baffled 55 with the Engli sh - speaking environment that has prevailed in these institutions in spite of the aggressive national educational policies that have sought to diminish its importance , beginning from the 1970s. M ost of the students here came from royal families and affluent homes , and with parents who were professionals. Many of these students later became key players in the nation, contributing further to the elite nature of these scho ols. The first Prime Minister of Malaysia, Tunku Abdul Rahman , was a famous alumni of Penang Free School, the first English school in the then Malaya. Najib Razak, t he current Prime Minister of Malaysia, Nazrin Shah, the King of the Malaysian state known a s Perak (see Figure 2.1), King Hassanal Bolkiah of Brunei, and S. Rajaratnam , the former Deputy Prime Minister of Singapore, were all former students of St Franci s , were from Victoria Institution in Kuala Lumpur. 10 These are but a few examples to indicate how the distinguished nature of these former English - medium schools did not dim inish over the years, even five decades after independence. Sarah was a student in such an elite primary school , which was in fact a continuation of the English - speaking environment that she had at home since birth. From the very beginning, English was a the two Malay participants presented thus far, Azura and Ani. Her extended family had various linguistic repertoires that extended from a few different languages : Indian languages th a t included Singhalese, Malay alam, Tamil, and Telugu ; English ; Malay ; and Cantonese, a Chinese dialect. Even her parents , who were professionals , came from two different Indian - language 10 Lee Wei Lian, The tragic tale of Malaysian education . The Malaysian Insider . January 27, 2010. http://www.ytlcommunity.com/beta/juli/commnews/shownews.asp?newsid=51278&category= top Accessed 13 March 2014. 56 backgrounds. In such an environment, eventually English became a common language, especially since her grandparents on both sides could speak English , and one of them was even an English teacher. Sarah remarked during one of my conversations with her in the university campus le in Thus, Sarah became the second generation in her family circle to grow up speaking only English and to accept it as her main language. I show later how in her life, En glish play ed an even greater role than Malay, the national language. kindergarten. She was here for a year , before studying for a few months in a Chinese vernacular s chool in Penang , where she lived with her grandparents for a while. Her introduction to the elite school began after this slightly more than a year of exposure to the Chinese language. Today, she sa ys that she does not remember anything at all from those s chools , except perhaps the Dragonfly dance that she once did at that time. When I asked Sarah if she knew the reasons they thought that I should learn a differ general percepti on of the Indian community of the low educational quality in the Tamil schools, e they 57 Thus, for Sarah, her home background provided her a setting different from the earlier - language learning experiences in schools. For her, learning had already started at home , since she was already reading fluently even before starting school. She was always surrounded by books, including a set of Encyclopedia Britannica . Weekends w ere fun - - day s including her grandparents, gathered in her parents' house for board games and language game sessions, everything to be conducted in English, the common language for all of them who came from various Indian language - speaking backgrounds. Coming from such a home background, surrounded only by English, not surprisingly Sarah spoke predominantly in English in her prestigious mission school. Just like in all the other Malay - medium schools throughout Malaysia, Malay was equally important in this school , due to its status as the national language ; however, it was only used as necessary. Her mostly Chinese friends also came from similar backgrounds like her , and all t he teachers in the school the Malay langua ge only played a major role in the classrooms during content area studies, while the English language dominated all other areas of school communication and activities. attempted to send her to a secondary school of similar prestige : however, due to issues relat ed to - Malay - medium school. She was here for the next five years , stud ying with students who had their early education in vernacular Chinese - and Tamil schools. This transition to a regular school was not easy for Sarah. other students. When I went to this ne w school, I kind of noticed that I was one of the better 58 academic standing, while the lower classes had students from lower socio - economic conditions, not as good academically, and mostly spoke in the Malay, Chinese, and Tamil languages. Such a division enabled Sarah to continue her socializing with the high achievers in the top classes , who, according to her, were mostly Chinese students. Occasionally, certain situations might necessitate her to hav e some interactions with the lower classes , but this w ould usually be for short periods of time. Eventually, she always got back to her own group of friends in the top classes, speaking the English language. Thus, in spite of the environmental changes that happened in her secondary school, Sarah continued to have a suitable environment for her continual usage of English. Her earlier active participation in school activities continued. In this regular school, she conti nued as a school prefect. She also participated actively in inter - school debates, and in scrabble and choral - speaking competitions. She was also elected as the sub - editor for the school magazine. I wondered if Sarah chose to volunteer for all these school activities that often kept her in the school long after her formal classes were over. On the contrary , were her E nglish language learning experiences in this secondary school that did not have the English - speaking environment as in her previous prestigious primary She said this school was just a place for her to b e, a place because they were too simple. This school, unlike her previous one, did not even provide her with the type of English books she liked to read. She often glanced at the book shelves in the s chool library, and having read everything or not finding what she liked, eventually she resort ed to renting books from a mall 59 eraction s with the other Indian students in her secondary school , who were mostly educated in vernacular Tamil schools. She said that sometimes some of the girls tried talking to her, particularly after finding out that she had relatives who were top Tamil deejays in the country, who were top hits among the younger generation. Those girls often talk ed to her in Tamil , ed in Ma Tapi you India kan Taklah! Campur campur and a little bit Tamil, I think it is best to say tak faham a dominant role in all aspects of her li f e, more than any of her m ultiple native languages, or even Malay, the national language. To a Malaysian bystander, her family background, association with the elite school that she attended, and the way she carried herself with an American accent now after years of exposure in the U.S., she exuberate s a type of elitism. This is similar in nature to what Azura , the Malay participant, saw in her classmates in her prestigious residential schools, and what Ani also saw in her five modern, English - speaking Malay classmates. In Malaysian society , such attributes among students stand out immediately , because this group of people are outnumbered by the thousands more who attend regular schools. In the next section, I explore the stories narrated by Jay , whose schooling experiences took her first to a vernacular Chinese school , and later to an elite mission school in Sabah, East Malaysia. 60 Stories from Sabah When Jay was growing up in Sabah, the main language spoken at home was Malay, even though her native languages through both her paren ts were Chinese and Kadazan. This North Borneo state of Sabah had joined the Federation of Malaysia in 1963, along with Sarawak and Singapore, three years after the then Malaya had achieved independence from the British. Since then, the Malay language bec a me part of the linguistic repertoire in the state. It was thus of them also attended Chinese vernacular school s to maintain a part of their identity. s background too. She attended a Chinese vernacular school that was mostly attended by Kadazan and Sino - Kadazan students , but was surrounded only by Malay, the national language. The focus of her school, like most other Chinese schools w ere su , thus English language always took a backseat . U pholding discipline and acquiring as much academic knowledge as possible were the primary goals of these schools. According to Jay, play time was at a minim field. It was basically like a military compou nd where daily school chores must be completed she said. Jay was also quick to add, take things for granted . Jay remembered how her school was also one that invoked a lot of fear in her. When I was younger, going to that Chinese school every day I woke up with fear in my heart. Every 61 She recalled having the constant nagging fear within her that somebody would hit her that day in school with a rotan (cane) , for forgetting to complete her homework. W hat happens is, if you punished. There is always t he rotan . I think it was very, very hard time for me. It was very hard was , but she often left her house in the school bus at 6 : 30 , and did not get back home until probably 4:00 or 4:30 in the evening because of extra classes that followed immediately after the regular school session. Thus , subservient one shaped for academic excellence in critical subjects such as math and science . This notion took a different shape at the secondar y school level, particularly when it came to English language education. In both her primary and secondary schools, English was taught as a single subject . In the former , however, a lot of fear was incited in her for that taught the l essons. One particular experience that she had with one of these teachers had a very lasting negative impact on her learning of English (more on this will be explored in Chapter teachers also became directed towards the subject as a whole. English was not a language used for communication at home , nor was it used frequently in her community. Thus, English lessons were hard for her , and she constantly had problems in understanding certain grammatical rules that in her mind were simpler in the Malay language. This situation changed at the end of primary school at the age of thirteen , when she entered a secondary school. This school, like the 62 one attended by Sarah , the Indian student , for the first six years of her schooling, was of an elite nature. This was where , and it had produced a great many movers and shakers at the national level. Just like the other mission schools in Malaysia, it had continued with its rich English - language tradition even though the medium of instruction was in Malay . When Jay stepped into this school, it surpri sed her to hear more English used here than what she had experienced in her previous vernacular Chinese school that mostly had a Kadazan identity. t here. Every time after school assembly, we had prayers in English. I think our a learning English posed a lot of problems for her. She always had to write Chinese characters above all the difficult English words in her texts for almost a year before eventually becoming proficient in the l anguage . Since this mission school was a transition for her from a Chinese to Malay - medium school, she had to do the same for the Malay language as well. Eventually, she picked up more English and Malay than in her primary school. Later , she found that in the process of acquiring more proficiency in these two subjects, some of her knowledge in the Chinese language was lost. Jay had more to say in this area , but this will be dealt with later in Chapter 4. In recalling her English - language learning experie nces, Jay also noted the different culture that existed in this mission school. She saw the school forcing students to engage in more reading through a systemic change. This school ran as two sessions ; due to the lack of classrooms, students in the upper g rades studied in the morning from 7:30 until 12:40 , after which the younger students began theirs in the afternoon session. During this interim period 63 between the two sessions, the school gathered all the younger students from the afternoon session in the large school hall. They were made to line up according to their classes , and then all of them sat cross - legged on the floor and simply read anything they like d , school textbooks if they have exams , or storybooks. This forced context became important in Jay schooling life because eventually it shaped her to be an avid reader. For the first time, s he particularly began to enjoy English language story books beginning with the Goosebumps series . Even though English was a subject that she had hated in the past , now it slowly took shape as an important component in her li f e especially with being located in a former English - medium school that had retained many of its former identit ies . Over the years , Jay acquired more proficiency and was able to communicat e in E nglish with her teachers and the other students. At this time in her secondary school, Jay recalled some the inter - school English competitions where she had to represent her school. During such events, she often c a me face - to - face with the other competitor s who had lived in the cities for the most part of their lives and were fluent English speakers. At times like that, even though she was already a student in an elite school herself, Jay often reflected on her previous experiences in primary school when sh e was a struggling English learner. She often reminisced on what it felt like to be intimidated because of of her low English language proficiency. Such w as the nature of the experiences that Jay underwent , from being a vernacular student with limited Engl ish language who had also hated the subject, to becoming a person with a more positive attitude towards the language but who also always remembered what it was like before attaining the present state . 64 Discussion above , based on their home and school backgrounds , indicate how their attitudes and perceptions towards the English language, as learners and users of the language , had taken shape differently . As mentioned in the beginning of this chapter , schools are imp ortant sites where new identities are acquired or resisted, and where prior identities are re - affirmed or undergo transformation . The identity of the schools play a huge role in this aspect . In this section, I now look across all the narrated ex periences to see how these processes had occurred , placing them alongside the national narrative s , in order to find out the social significance of these processes . In doing this, I seek to gain deeper understanding about how these processes took shape and impacted learning of English and their identities differently . Identity Creations The nationalizing process that began in Malaysia from the 1950s, the decade leading to its independence, played a major role in the deconstruction of the ident ities of the various schools through various educational policies ; thus some became more focused on adapting a Malay identity , while a few like the mission schools retained their English language identity . How students positioned or reacted to the presence of the English language in their school lives wa s greatly dependent on the inclination of the schools as well. The regular Malay - medium primary and s layanized d a highly reduced English language environment com pared to the mission schools above . According to 65 Samuel Yesuiah (2014), these schools are currently attended by 95% Malays, with a 11 The governm 1970s also created a generation of teachers in the national schools with low English language proficiency. Some of them eventually bec a me English teacher s , to the dismay of some parents and academicians. Thus , this is one factor that could impact the kind of attitude that is brought into the schools in the teaching of the English language , and with the possibility of it being passed on to the students . This is the type of school that was attended by both the Malay s tudents; Ani, for eleven years, and Azura , for the first six years of her primary school ing before she obtained a scholarship to enter an elite residential school. In the se schools, depending on the particular e language, the language could be for communicati ve purposes or to sail through yet another academic subject. journeys in their regular public schools were only tampered with the entrance of elite English - s peaking students , who portray ed a n entirely different world that they soon began to ad or e . Th is was the time when th eir initial resistance and indifference towards English underwent transformation to enable them to be part of a system that for them embodie d recognition and social class . Compared to these national schools that portray ed students as having a particular kind of identity with low English proficien cy , the mission schools gave its students a more positive identi fication towards the language. Thus , Sarah and Jay were able to acquire a more positive attitude in the use of English through their association with the elite 11 Samuel Yesuiah. Schools must reflect racial mix. The Star. StarEducate. Sunday 30 March 2014. 66 schools, even though they attended them only for five years of their school ing life. On the other hand, it was a harder task for Az ura and Ani. Apart from home backgrounds and schools , teachers and certain school policies also play a major role in a ffecting identities as learners and users of the language . Some schools and teachers, within the strict curricular dem ands of the state, often plan and execute aggressive English - based language activities , compared to o ther schools. Special days and weeks are allocated where opportunities are created for students to communicate in the language. Some schools carry out such policies more than what is expected of them, with the objective s to improve students , and to create a positive and non - threathening environment for them to use the language. Ani had more of these activities in her school that created a lot of opportunities for her to speak in English, despite not using the language much anywhere else . Such school - based polic ies , and PPSMI that was created at the national level for teaching math and science in English, are some of the factors that play ed a r ole in impacting these Some of these policies that play ed a gradual role in transform , did not always bring about the desired effects, as it happened in my primary school in the early 19 7 0s . At that time, for a short period, my school forced its students to speak only in Malay language every Friday. This was during the years when all the English - medium sc hools in Malaysia had been nationalized but three subjects still remained in Engl ish. Thus, we, the students, had continued using our home languages and English. We only spoke Malay language as necessary, usually this will be during our Malay lesson. With the new policy in place, f ailure to speak in Malay on Fridays led us to pay a sma ll fine. S chool prefects walked along the school 67 in their vernacular languages. Did the imposition of this policy make everyone speak in Malay as desired by the school ( a nd now I think, the nation as a whole ) ? Far from it , I do not remember a single day when th e polic y created moments where we conversed in Malay voluntarily. Our strict school system, thus, was un able to force us to change our attitudes and speak in a tong ue that it so desired. Probably this was also the factor involved in the case of Azura and Ani , when at a particular point in their lives they were encouraged to speak in English , a language that was nothing more than a foreign language in their lives , an d a single subject learned in school . T he impact of these policies , however, cannot be ignor ed , for as was seen in the case of Azura and Ani, they did bring about a transformation in the ir lives , even though it only happened gradual ly after lots of resista nce . Some of these changes w ere not apparent immediately in the ir actions when they were in school , but they only became apparent at th e tertiary level. Thus, the importance of school policies formation of i dentities, cannot be undermined. Most of the parents in Malaysia now, more educated than in the past, have gradually understood the different role s that certain type s of schools play in constructi ng certain type s of attitudes and identities in their child ren. This effect is currently showing in the enrollment patterns in the Malaysian schools. Social Mobility An understanding of school structures, policies, and the type s of teachers who teach ha s caused a transformation in the way education is perceived at the larger societal level. There was a 68 time in Malaysia when working class parents restricted by contrast , are more edu cated than in the past and h ave begun to undertake newer and more expensive quests to prepare their children for a globalized world , that they assume will mostly communicate in English. These differing stances and preferences are currently taking place bec ause of the international value that they assign to the English language. Thus, children are put in particular schools that will give them certain identities in preparation for the future, to enable them to participat e successfully at the local and interna tional levels. This trend is currently seen in the choice of schools that will expose children to more English language. desire for particular schools for their children is clearly a means to provide them with the type of identity they wish the m to have. Choosing schools in this manner is synonymous to choosing the kind of environment that they like to impose upon their children. All the public schools in Malaysia, both national and vernacular schools, teach Malay as a compulsory subject. As a com ponent of the nation public schools, the residential - and elite - schools also teach the Malay language , h owever, the difference is in the kind of culture that exists in the school in terms of the language (s) predominantly used for general communication, a nd particularly in the language (s) used by the teachers , in and outside the classrooms . Th ere is now a trend among some Malaysians who are now rejecting the regular public schools that they feel have become more Malayanized. These schools have acquired a particular image ; they are mostly attended by Malay students , taught by a majority of Malay teachers, and have little or hardly any English usage. In these schools, English language is confined to classroom teaching and the minimal English - related school activities. The mission schools and 69 residential schools, on the other hand, even though they are government - funded public schools, conduct themselves differently by maintaining an English - speaking environment, as was evident in the accounts provided by Sar ah and Jay. S ome reports show how t his rejection is increasingly becoming evident in the way school enrollment is structured. By 2002, there were reports of some 7000 Chinese Malaysians attending English - medium schools in Singapore (Tan, 2005, p. 58). Ap art from this, there is also an increase in interest in Chinese language education. Ridge (2004 , p. 409) reported that i n April 1995, there were 35,000 Malay and Indian students in the Chinese - medium schools. This is an increase of 2 , 000 students in just o ne year. Of this number, 25,000 were Malays, and the rest were Indian students. A decade earlier, there were fewer than 8 , 000 non - Chinese in these schools. By 1999, this population had jumped to 40,000. 12 Such instances show how some of the centralized pol icies that are put in place might have different repercussions at the ground level. At this level , s ome languages are downplayed or given lesser importance than others for the sake of economic gains , and s chools are important sites where such preferences a re shown. Another way in which major transformation of identities among student s occur is in the increasing realization among them that English language proficiency is a sign of elitism , and that it enhance s social visibility in particular contexts . interactions with the English - speaking elite students might be limited , bu t they noted with awe how th English language proficiency and good communication skills went hand - in - hand with their poise, confidence, and leadership q ualities. They also noted how such attributes made them stand out 12 Ridge, B. (2004). Bahasa Malaysia and rec ent Malaysian English Language policies. Current Issues in Language Planning . 5(4). p. 407 - 423. 70 from the rest in the school. Seoyeon Choi (2010) has noted how such mannerisms are symboli c of p high social status and sophisticated mannerisms . When students aspire to acquire such new qualities that were not inherent in the m in the past , it requires a major transformation in their identities . Sometimes, th is process of constructing and reconstructing identitites might take years to occur . Thus, kampung was no t conducive for her to acquire English , even though she studied the subject for six years in her primary school. I n the case of Ani , locat ed in Kuala Lumpur , the evolving metropolis city, it could have been easier however, in her case it was not . Unlike Az ura , in whose life English did not exist at all at home, in the case of Ani, it did exist to a certain extent in the form of social media. The lack of acceptance of the language, in case , wa s related to her home background , how English language was p erce ived , and what type of attitudes she grew up with . In the presence of elite students , in the like s of those such as Sarah and Jay, e ventually Azura and Ani were made to realize that proficiency in the English language is synonymous with social status. Th is gradual attitude change in Azura and Ani was interestingly also enhanced by the condescending looks and glances thrown upon them by the elite others , and by the manner in which , when among them, the spoken language w as immediately s witched to Malay. Such instances of Othering is often the root cause of the divide between the urban and rural students, English language s peaker s - and non - speaker s , and socio - economic status . While schools and the players within them play a role in acquiring and refining c ertain language identities, in these cases of Othering , sometimes certain identities can also be forcefully accorded by merely denying them in - group m embership s . 71 Conclusion Sarah and J ay , the Indian and Sino - Kadazan students, will be considered to have a higher social status in Malaysia for various reasons. The manner in which they conduct themselves, their English language speaking backgrounds , their overseas education , and their eventual speaking with a non - Malaysian accent are some of the factors that will eventually lead to this . The se students , may or may not consider themselves to possess such attributes related to social class , however, such are the identities that will be accorded to them on a day - to - day basis. In this chapter, after looking at h attitudes towards the English language were shaped by their diverse home backgrounds and the type of schools they attended, the next question that arises is how these attitude changes were further shaped and transform ed at the micro level in the ir classroom environments , and how the se changes went on to impact their identities further as English language learners . The next chapter is an exploration of th is issue. 72 CHAPTER THREE Classrooms and Identity Formati on Classroom narratives are important aspects of learning that need to be studied and stories are ignored and brushed aside as issues of lesser importance. H owever, every now and then a closer introspection might reveal the ir significance in showi ng i nsightful understandings. Since I got involved in narrative research, I started to reflect on some of the classroom narratives that I had encountered in the past in Malaysia , in order to gain more understanding at a deeper level. By doing this, I also started to bring those understandings to bear upon my current thinking. This renewed interest is because of my recent discovery of my naivety in brushing aside certai n happenings in the past that now have risen to show their significance . One such event happened in the 1980s, in a small and quiet rural area in the state of Negeri Sembilan. This was in a secondary school that was attended by students who had their prim ary education in Chinese - and Tamil - vernacular schools. The students enter ed this school at the age of thirteen , after six years of exposure to vernacular languages in schools where Malay and English were taught as single subjects. Some of them also came from Malay - medium primary schools , where all the subjects w ere taught in Malay , with English as a single subject. Most of these students came from low socio - economic groups, from the kampung and the estates in the area, and they hardly spoke English at hom e. In such a situation, I was not surprised to see the students prefer ence to speak in their own languages since I did the same thing as a student in my primary and secondary school s . But of course, now , as a teacher , I was un happy with the situation . 73 One day, I decided to do something about this , so I restricted my Form Four students (aged sixteen) from using any other languages apart from English during my lessons. My year - long teaching experience at that time did not prepare me for what followed next. A fter my brief announcement, my usually talkative class immediately turned dead silent. I took it as a good sign , thinking that now more learning could take place. At that time, Norhayati, one of the Malay students in my class, who could not be silenced for too long, said something in English to her friend sitting nearby. A Malay boy , who was also sitting close to her, immediately gave her a Amboi! Action nya! did not voluntarily sp eak in English again, unless asked to do so. At that time, I did not do Ministry of Education. These topics must be covered in a timely fashion so that the English teacher who will take over from me the following year , will be able to guide the students for their important national examination. At that time, I ignored this seemingly simple event in my class , but today I wonder if I should have asked and dug for mo re stories from them to understand what actually took place in understanding some of my students from the rural area. These are the kind s of classroom narrations t hat I now believe have pedagogical possibilities e specially when p erspectives are juxtaposed with that of the predominant narratives that are taking place at the societal level. The ridicul ing and the eventual silencing could possibly have be en t he result of a larger phenomenon taking place in the community . Norhayati was probably responding in a manner that was beyond her grasp. This is , thus , an important phenomenon that I now think need s to be understood in order to help those students. Pushin g it under the rug only enhance s 74 and reaffirms certain negative perceptions and attitudes towards a group of students that might possibly affect the overall teaching and learning of English. In this chapter, I have tried to unravel more stories from my student participants, particularly those relating to their learning of English in their classrooms. I have begun by first present ing the classroom experiences narrated by Azura and Ani, followed by Sarah and Jay. Classroom Narratives Azura ssroom setting in both her primary and secondary schools did not give her sufficient English language competency that would help her later in her out - of - school encounters . It was not even sufficient for her to use it confident ly during her tertiary years i n a government - sponsored institution in Kuala Lumpur. - based , with the main objective being to pass examinations, as determined by the school culture. As mentioned in the previous chapter, in her kampung school she got very little exposure to English, and in fact some of her lessons were conducted in Malay. Things changed in secondary school , when as a Form 4 student (aged sixteen) insisted that only English shoul d be spoken in the classroom. She had very high expectations of her students , and thus their incomplete work w as person to answer individually. So I counted the question number tha t will be mine to answer, to , but usually I have to finish the homework, I just borrow 75 classroom English learning at this time was infused with fear, and her grammar - based lessons were predominantly exam - his. Students errors would be marked as wrong in red ink but the teacher never really explained why it must be change d ! Most of her thinking will be in Malay before it is translat ed i nto t to say something but just so scared of what if we make mistakes ? What if we say something wrong? Then what people will think? We know nobody will laugh but we were so conscious if we say something wrongly, if we were not supposed to say in a particular w A t this time , even though Azura achieved high grades in English, mostly by employing memorization techniques, it did not necessarily lead her to high proficiency , particularly in the area of oral communication. However, among the rural students who a ttended the residential school that she benchmark. If I was the outstanding student at that time, imagine the other students ! time , when Azura was compl etin g her secondary school, she was having a positive image of herself as a student because of her excellence among her group of friends from the rural area. However, she was not satisfied with this because she had begun to compare herself to the English - s peaking elite Malay students. Did she even like to learn English language , I wondered ? came up with the idea of hiding in the gir with incomplete English homework and undergo ing punishment. She said she did this only for English lessons even though she d really care about her results in the subject . It was her fear of her English teacher that prompted her to take such measures. as 76 very narrow , and yet she chose to hide there on a few occasions. A few times, some of her friends also stood with her in the cramped place. According to Azura, her teacher never came looking for her, she thinks probably it was because of l ack of time. Thus, this is what she did to skip her English lessons in secondary school, but if it wa s for an entire day of schooling, she simply hid in her dorm locker. Her dorm w as located just adjacent to her school. Unlike her classroom teacher , who did not come searching for her, here it was different ; the dorm warden was always able to find her and pull her out. In her final year of secondary school, after Azura was awarded a tentative scholarship to study for her undergraduate degree in the U.S., she was forced to look for ways to increase her English language competency. This overseas program w ould only begin after she had completed her two - year matriculation program in a col lege in Malaysia. One of the government requirements for this was that students should have obtained good grades in SPM English, the final secondary school exit examination. Azura had heard stories of four or five of her seniors who did their matriculatio n program using their trial exam in school but w ere denied a place sing a great opportunity to study in the U.S. acquiring English language proficiency through her class work. Luckily, she obtained a credit that was just sufficient to be selected for the program , and thu s she was able to begin her next two - year journey in the college in Kuala Lumpur. Thus at this stage, Azura had reconstructed her identity , but it was only to enable her to obtain enough grades in English for her U.S. education. This positive attitude enab led her to 77 achieve success however, with her still being in doubt about her language skills. When I suggested that I d id not see a problem in her spoken English, she quickly added , broken English, you know, in grammar. I used to do my thin king in Malay then translate to English. Sometimes, I feel, even until now, that I still make mistakes. And I feel that sometimes I ated that such thoughts never left her, even while attending classes at the tertiary level. Here, for the first time, she yearned to acquire communication skills and not merely to pick up study techniques to get good grades in her English. Just as it was i n her residential schools, here too , she encountered secondary school students who came from throughout the country , some of them with good English language proficiency, and thus, her earlier concerns about her proficiency level continued . H owever, her lec turers in this college were mostly Americans ; thus, she had to transform herself quickly to adapt to this new environment as soon as possible in order to be a successful student. According to Azura, adapting was not easy. This college gave all the students a placement test, after which students were categorized into thirty groups , with about fifteen students in each. Azura was put in the last group that had many students who lacked sufficient English language skills . She always moved with these students . Sh tend to make friends with people who came from kampung . Also , so we were kampung girls, not Thus, on one si de, Azura was hearing more English now, especially with American lecturers ; however, due to her perceptions on what others would think about her usage, and her inability to use the language comfortably, gaining English proficiency was still problematic fo r Azura. I was curious to know what her classroom experiences were in this institution , especially 78 since she was the talking. We ( the rural students ) kept quiet and gradually the lecturers knew. Only sometimes we talked. Sometimes, some lecturers wanted every person to talk so they called our names so According to Azura, i n her case, she only responded when she was lecturers preferred students who participate d ; thus, the elite students we re the ones who always stood out , since they talked and gave ideas all the time in the classrooms , while the others like her often kept quiet unless asked to say something. Azura was able to perceive this very quickly because she had seen the lecturers easily remembering their names and sa talking to them all the time in the hallways. Azura tried to explain her lack of usage of the language: pe . , and at the same time she was also worried about what her better classmates w ould think of her usage. I just took some classes to fulfill the course requirements, Azura mentioned. However, at the same time, she also said how she became more aware of the importance of participating in the class , since five percent of the grades were awarded for participation. This realization made her yearn to increase her English language proficiency. This newly acquir ed sense of confidence also led her to look at th e other group of o y still have a long way to go. We are not going to U.S. to do English. We are going to do different 79 majors. There are e ven some people who ir preparation program (in Malaysia) and were expelled , and they went to local university instead. Sti ll , they did get a good job at the local at great length. She was quick to add how in her preparation program, the elite students acted as though the y owned the in stitution. J ust because they know English better than us .. . They might be more confident but gradually after coming here they knew the difference after getting into their own major. Even people who are bad in their English, later they can be much better t han Today , in the U.S. setting, Azura has become a confident speaker , as I saw during my interviews with her . She still struggles with some of her language structures , but nonetheless she is able to deliver her thoughts without hesitating. She had also completed many of her doctoral level classes successfully. Thus, even though she had shown initial struggles in the Malaysian context, after many years of bei ng in the U.S., first as an undergraduate student and now as a doctoral student, she had acquired more fluency and now has a positive attitude about the language. Looking at the above stories narrated by Azura, we can be seen how her attitudes , and in the process her identity as an English - language learner , were transformed by all her classroom experiences. The experiences of Ani, the second Malay participant , began in a similar manner , but she took a different course to achieve her objectives. 80 Ani What w narratives regarding her English teachers and classmates provide some clues to understanding this. Ani recounted a day as an eleven - year old in her primary school when h er strict English teacher, Mrs. Lina, walked into her classroom in her red traditional baju kurung , a handbag dangling on one shoulder, and her books held against her chest. This particular day stood out for Ani , even to the extent of being able to describ e her teacher, because of a su rprising announcement that she made. That day, without providing any explanation, her teacher announced her new rule that everyone in the class should only converse in English. Hearing , I was immediately transported to another day in the past when as a teacher I had imposed a similar rule and ended up silencing my whole class. According to Mrs. Lina anyone caught using Malay, their native language, wo uld be fined fifty sen . Ani, sitting behind a group of boys in the third row from the front , - place at the school level, so why zed during one ninety minutes of English lessons w ere not sufficient to promote English among the students . Soon after this announcement , everyone in the class got stressed , but obviously not the five English - speaking elite students. In the past, Ani and her friends would ask for permission to go to the bathroom in Malay, but this new rule now made it harder. The school prefec ts sometimes needed to leave the class five minutes before recess in preparation for their assigned duties. This too became harder , 81 because it was a constant struggle for them to decide on the correct English words and sentence structures to use with Mrs. May I to tr Ani often remained silent rather than pay a fine for accidentally uttering a word in Malay. The duit belanja only fifty sen during the whole time of the implementation of this rule, Ani only spoke after Mrs. Lina had left the classroom, but as expected , it was in her native Malay language. Ani never had to pay a fine , but her talkative classmate Rozita was unlucky when one Boleh tak pinjam pensel? pencil?). In an accusatory manner, t money and for being teased by everyone. A few days later, she became angrier still when once again she was caught using Malay and was teased by the whole class. This time she did not have enough money and was only able to pay the next day. Two weeks later, this rule died a natural cause their gradual usage of Malay went unnoticed. Ani , once again , was able to talk freely in Malay. How did Ani feel at the prospect s of learning math and science in English ( PPSMI) when it was introduced for the first time at national level, also the y ear when she began her secondary education ? This would have entailed many changes in her classroom learning. According to her, 82 she was overjoyed at the prospects of learning math and science in English because they were her two favorite subjects , and she c ould also improve her language skills . She had felt that this her Malay math and science teachers struggled to teach the content area in a language that had been reduced in their generation. According to her, they lacked the confidence and the proficiency level to teach her classes, in spite of the compulsory training the government was making them attend. Ani found it amusing at that time to see how her teachers a lso had to learn how to teach math and science in English . This system, unfortunately for Ani, was abolished at the end of her secondary education, just five years after its inception. sure to the English language ; however , her communication in the language was still very limited. At one level, she began to take part in more school - related English language activities , , chool prefect she spoke during the school assemblies for a few minutes. She was always called on to participate, also because the few elite students in her previous classes were all gone. In spite of all th is her classmates and te achers were still confined to Malay, exactly how it was at the primary school level. She even spoke in Malay to her favorite English teacher , who insisted that she the English language had evolved in the secondary school , but it did not fully take shape until she began her next phase of life at the tertiary level. After secondary school, Ani came to a private college in the south of Kuala Lumpur to attend a two - year go vernment - funded preparation program, before continuing with her 83 undergraduate studies in the U.S. This was a program similar to the one attended by Azura in the capital city ; however by now, almost a decade later, the government was already working in part had attended it, by now it had acquired a more international flavor , and thus more English was transformative leap ; in her new classrooms now , not only did she begin to talk in English but she also began to do it widely , even with the elite students from multiethnic groups. This institution had more students from various ethnic groups, within and outside Malaysia. This forced more exposure to the English language, almost like how it was in the mission schools or residential schools in Malaysia. In such a setting, most of the students spoke predominantly in English , and Ani was forced to partake in it, gradually improvin g in her communication skills. She narrated how once she saw a few students, particularly the Chinese, reading a novel by Khaled Hosseini. When Ani saw this, she remembered thinking , a manner, later she would rise to be a student in a public - speaking class in college, a skill that eventually she also used in her university in the U.S. Having looked at the classroom stories that indica ted the eventual rise of Azura and Ani , the Malay student participants, as more successful learners and users of English language, which had taken place amidst various tensions in their surroundings, next I explore the classroom stories shared by Sarah and Jay. 84 Sarah I n Chapter 2 , it was mentioned how Sarah came from an affluent home where English was the only language spoken . This situation was extended further throughout her schooling life, for the first six years in an elite mission school, and for the next five years in a regular school . In this regular school , her associations with other English - speaking students continued . Earlier, i t was also mentioned how Sarah because they were never challenging enou gh. In this section, I continue this narration , to see how her identities were further shaped as a result of her learning in her classrooms and how they differ ed from th ose of Azura and Ani. When asked about her classes, Sarah said , attention in English class. I was kind of in my own world usually. I can put together beautiful on that structure. So whenever they do that books, did she tune in more during her literature classes? Surprisingly, only a few texts the one called Th e Pearl. It was just a small one. I enjoyed this class better than the grammar class. I was paying more attention to see the underlying messages. That was interesting. Perhaps the thing that I remember the most is the discussion on the literature stuff. I discussion but they (teachers) telling us what it is. They try to ask us but nobody will put up their F or Sarah , coming from such a background, her issues were not with English but with the other Malaysian langua ges that existed in her life. She had grown up with English as her first language ; thus, when I asked her to recall some of her English learning experiences, her stories 85 were tied to the difficulties she had with Malay, the national language. Once , when Sa rah was a primary school student, there was a reading competition at the school level, in both Malay and English. At that time, all the students were encouraged by the teachers to take part in this competition by reading as many storybooks as possible in M alay and in English. After reading, they were required to record in an exercise book the particular details from those books , such as the title of the book, the for each category throughout the year would receive prizes. Sarah was an avid reader , since she was young and was already reading when she entered kindergarten. She decided to take part in this competition and began to read English books profusely with lots of enjoyment. Her recordin gs in the exercise book for English books w ere many English books and got so absorbed in them that she even forg o t to record them. During the interview, Sarah narrated how it was a completely different story when it came to reading for the Malay category. For this, she would go to the Malay section in the name s from the front covers. After that, she would flip to the last p age of each book and quickly come up with the summaries to write down in her exercise book. In this way, Sarah would get all the information needed for the competition without reading any of those Malay books. Sarah once or twice Sarah had won in the English category ; not a sing le Malay book that I remember reading in secondary school. There is one that I 86 much. For English, I like to see how the words are put together. They had good books l ike Nancy Thus, compared to the English language learning experiences of Azura and Ani, in whose formation , particularly since family circumstances had accorded it a first language identity. In the vernacular school and later extended to an elite mission school in Sabah . Jay One hot afternoon in her Form 2 English class (aged fourteen) , Jay and her friends sat down and made plans for a wedding. Jamal, the protagonist in the short story they had just read , was going to get married , and their teacher had given them an int eractive activity to do. 13 According to Jay, Jamal, a Malay man in the eastern state of Kelantan in Peninsula Malaysia (See Figure 1.2 ) , had said , all the cost - cutting measures he could thi nk of, absentmindedly even selling his own Bally shoes that he wanted to wear on his wedding day . That day, innovative English teacher had asked , since it was not mentioned in the story, to design the weddin g card, and even to draw a pair of the shoes. This was not a typical lesson that Jay was used to hav ing in her elite mission school , but on this particularly humid day, which she said will easily put the class to sleep, she appreciated the lesson very much . 13 Che Husna Azhari (1992). Of bunga telur & Bally shoes. Kelantan Tales: An anthology of short stories . Furada Publishing House. 87 her. She narrated a particular classroom event that happened when she was in Standard 3 (age d nine ). This was a time when for two years in a row, Jay had a tall and thin, very fierce looking Chinese lady as her teacher , and the lesson that day was on tenses. Her primary school had seven classes for each grade level , and in this class , where Jay sat somewhere in the middle, there were about fifty students. On that day alphabetic order, and ask ed was six and t - A - K - E. At that time, Jay wa s still not proficient in her English language , since she only spoke Malay at home , and i n school, it was predominantly Chinese. Trying to think of the right answer, Jay noted that the - of their words to transform them - A - K - E - is not M - A - K - E - D. It is M - A - D - E ! learning it at that time. And the teacher was horrible because she was so mean. I mean at that t necessarily learn English at home. She just made people feel terrible and she , since no explanation was given for her yel ling. That was the day when Jay remembered she began to lose her interest in learn ing English. Feelings of dislike for the subject also began to build up in her. aid. , 88 The Malay language, according to her, was not as hard because the words do not need to be changed to make them past tense. Only the time reference ha s to be used. It was the same way in order to indicate that it was in the past... I hated the subject because it did not make sense. It just , , even what she sounded like , and how embarrassed she had felt that day. Learning English in this Chinese school was different because there was a lot of memorization in preparation for the exam. Thus, if Jay was asked to compose a story in English, she wa s always given a set of pictures. She was taught to look at each picture, and then write one the English la nguage and her teachers, and started acquiring the language? She said that it was not until she started learning it by herself in Form 2, at the age of fourteen, her second year in the elite mission school, the year when one day she and her friends were as started reading more books, particularly the Goosebumps series that was introduced by a friend. Each page in those series led to certain options , and once an option was chosen, it led to fur ther exciting and different adventures. T his opened up a wide world of excitement and soon Jay became hooked to reading English books . At this time, Jay also had to master English in order to fit into the mission school environment where English was wide ly spoken by teachers and students. From her second year 89 in this school , she became more proficient in English , but the entire remember at one point, I actually wrote down Chinese words to understand Malay. I remember we were learning the words T - H - I - S and T - H - E - S - E. I would put down the Chinese characters underneath it to make sure that I was doing it right so that I know about it. I know how to read it. ranslating the Malay as well as in English. The PPSMI system , introduced by the government to teach math and science in English in 2003, did not impact Jay di rectly. This policy was started in phases , beginning at the Form 1 level , and Jay missed this because she had passed this grade level by then. Her math and science teachers , thus , continued teaching her class as usual in Malay. However, a few of them were also involved in the PPSMI policy and taught the lower grades. One of her teachers, realizing the value of this system, tried incorporating some English in her teaching , in an informal manner. According to Jay, this teacher introduced to them certain techn ical words in English that they were actually learning in Malay in the content area classes. The above student stories show the interplay of their multiple identities within their diverse classroom contexts. For some students who already possess ed some Eng lish proficiency, negotiations of their identities were not necessary as required. However, for others, the classroom settings might be places where tensions might erupt that call for certain negotiations and reconstruction of their prior identities. Thus, some students might be compelled to make major adjustments in the face of new systems with certain social expectations. For the upcoming 90 and the identity tr ansformations that took place. In this discussion, issues pertaining to nationalistic ideas, ethnicity, culture , and so forth have been brought to the forefront. Classroom and Identity Formation C lassroom structures and play an importa nt role in the study of T his is because of the important role s played by teachers in the Malaysian top - down education al system , in implement ing the national curriculum . In such a system, the society as a whole looks at them as the bearers of the particular type of knowledge needed for examination s uccess . In this respect, teachers and the classroom structures provided by them for the learning of English language, have the capabilities to influence the shap ing of ident ities . negative connotation. The narrations obtained above from the students have revealed the multiple ways in which the ir identities have take n shape. In all these cases, instances of resistance have taken shape but they have all taken different intensities , depending on the differen ces found at the school level, and the type of classroom structure s provided by the teachers in those environments . Two phenomena have emerged in this respect : cultural resistance and global accomodation . Cultural Resistance All the four students in this study revealed different aspects of themselves when they showed resistance in their classrooms. esistance in their English class es wa s 91 reflected in the indifferen ce they show ed in learning and using the language since it wa s not within their linguistic repertoire . On the other hand, in the case of Sarah, the indifference shown wa s because of the simp licity of the English lessons that often caused her to feel restless initial resistance towards the . In her case, such feelings were caused by a hatred towards the subject that stemmed fro m her hatred of her teacher. A teacher looking at all th e various instances of resistance mentioned above, might connect th o outright defiance or lack of interest in the subject . While these might be part of the reasons, there c ould also be deeper meanings that could only be revealed through deeper interrogations of their experiences. An introspection of Azura and Ani , in relation to their home and school backgrounds, indicate that o ne plausible reason for such resista nce could be cultural factors. As mentioned in the previous chapter, both these students ha d seen and admired the ways of English - speaking elites who were incidentally also members from their own community . They saw th positive attributes that went parallel with their English language proficiency . Knowing th e positive attributes that are brought about by possessing English language proficiency, how is it possible for such resistance to occur in the first place? Some of t heir initial refusal to use English language should not be seen as a refusal at a personal level , but as something motivated by factors that are often invisible to the onlookers . In the beginning of this chapter, I mentioned one of my own classroom narratives , about a Malay stud ent, Norhayati, who chose silence over speaking in English when she was instructed to do so in her classroom . After a while, when she broke the silence with a little English, she was immediately mocked by a Malay student as being a show - off. I mentioned ho w at the time when 92 this happened , in the 1980s, I did not do anything about this event , but how today I wish I had. This is because of the knowledge that I have now of the importance of narratives and the necessity to seek deeper truths. Today , I think tha t cultural. Looking at Azura and Ani and their multiple experiences related to learning and speaking English , I think that cultural factors could also be the reasons for some of their actions and initial resis tance towards the language . The Malay community is considered to be closely associated with factors involving culture. Cultural factors are imbibed in every aspect of their lives , such as in the areas of language, customs, attire, food, hospitality and so forth. These cultural aspects play a big role in most of the events in their lives such as birth s , weddings, prayer ceremonies, deaths , etc. Customs and the Islamic way of life , which they have professed unconditionally, play a major role in influencing and impacting how all these events are conducted in their lives. In Chapter 2, it was shown how the immaterial of their locations in a kampung or in an urban setting. Language nationalism is part of the identity of Malays , as was evident in the way in which they str o ve to uphold it as the national language in the decade before Malaysia attained its independence. Since the rise of Malay nationalism in the 1920s , such sentiments had increased and eventually led to the replacing of English language with Malay in all aspects of administration . Th us, th e Malay language is an important identity marker for the Malays ( Rajadurai, 2011). This self - labelling of the Malays as people of ethnic Malay bac kground , who also speak the Malay language , is something that is embedded in the ir culture . H ence , it has also become an identity professed by the Malay students upon entrance into schools . Such strong 93 sentiments indicate an admirable communal unity ; howev er, sometimes they also become problematic at the school level when resistance is shown towards learning and speaking the English language. According to a study conducted by Rajadurai (2011), many Malays do attempt to speak in English , but they are - O ne of the research participant , Farah, sa id that the widely held notion in the community is that Malays should only speak the Malay language. According to Lee S . K. (2001), for the Malays , acquiring the English language is sometimes equated as a threat to their native identity. This notion is not shared by everyone in the community , but a deep - rooted resentment is shown towards those who use more English . Th ey ar e often described , the English language as being too Westernized and elitist, and as betrayers of Malay cultural and lan guage identity. According to Lee S. K. (2001), this is a sign of the marginalization and alienation of English - language speakers from the others. Thus , the rise of Malay nationalism to mark their special standing has come to be seen as a permanent fixture, and not accepting or abiding by it is considered as in the public arenas in Malaysia, such as in the school s and classroom settings, the Malays pose the strongest resistance (Ratnawati, 2005, M ardziah & Wong, 2006). Keeping these cultural factors in mind, it is not surprising that Azura and Ani encountered great difficulties in engag ing with English language speak among themselves in English , especially when the other speaker knows Malay . Thus , years of maintaining a dominant Malay identity that is reinforced by their home environment , does not 94 make things easier when they enter schools. Instead, it leads to ins tances of resistance and indifference that necess itate negotiat ions or reconstruct ions of their identit ies . T he English speaking Malay s , on the other hand, stand out differently because of the social capital acquired from the English - medium school experience s that some of the family members might have en joyed in the past, or from other current exposures. When in the midst of this group, the non - speakers are sometimes participation and thus, the exposure to English continues being minimum . R ajadurai (2011) finds this problematic, just as I communication, how, where, when and with whom is he or she to use English and what that is This situation poses problems to the teachers. According to Thiyagarajah (2003), in the rural schools teachers need proficiency against a backdrop where the language is almost non - existent in their lives. Outside the school setting, at the soc ietal level, this issue takes a gigantic form , because resistance embedded within cultural considerations negative ly impact s their employability , particularly in the private sector . Thus, the national ist education al policy ha s created Chinese and Indians w ho have become bilinguals and trilinguals , whereas Malays who received education in the Malay language ha ve p. 7) , and ha ve remained monolinguals. As a result of this, according to him , the policy ha s in , a re discriminated against in employment , and they also have problems in further education. These are also the issues that loomed ahead of me as I listened to Azura and Ani stories of resistance caused by cultural considerations . This phenomena , however, did not show in the 95 stor ies shared by Sarah and Jay, the Indian and Sino - Kadazan participants , respectively. Their classroom and school s tories did not speak of resistance i n the way the Malay participants had spoken . They portrayed a global outlook , which also had some elements of resistance , but they were not shown towards the English language as much . Global Acc omodation Beginning with the colonization period, English w as associated with social status and elitism. T his took a backseat with the implementation of the nationalistic educational policy that favored the Malay language. For a while , it looked as though the government was succeeding in this effort , especially by 1983 , when Malay had already replaced the English language until the attitudes regarding certain policies began to bring English gradually in to the limelight. It almost seem ed as though e conomic s ha d outweighed national interests . Thus, w hile English language proficiency was seen to be dropping in the school system , particularly among the Malay population, it was thriving in the private sector due to its status as N on - Malays had, for a long time , considered themselves sidelined by the N ew Economic Policy (NEP) that was put in place in the 1970s, alongside the national educat ional policies with the aim to bring the Malays to be o n par with the m . This policy put in place various affirmative structures that favored Malays in many areas of life, particularly in the economy and in education. A racialistic quota system was upheld t hat particularly specified the demographic intake into local institutions of higher learning ; it is currently standing at about 68% for the Malays, 25% of the seats had been allocated for the Chinese , and 10% for the 96 Indians. This s ituation eventually led the non - Malays to private colleges , despite the high cost , because they did not impose Malay language requirement s as w as done by the national istic government , or racialistic quota system in the intake of students. Thus, many of the se non - Malay students were able to achieve educational excellence in a mostly English - speaking environment , with a far more global outlook. In the midst of their home languages, there was also more use of English language, at varying levels. At times like this, Malay, the national language , was only This situation created a dichotomy in the society in the way language issues were spoken about in Malaysia. A majority of the Malays, with the ir cultural and language sentiments, continued using their native language at home, sometimes intersper s ed with some English, and the ir children continued their education in the national schools that are lately branded as being increasingly Malayanized. Th is shows the vast divergence in the identit ies taken upon by Malay and non - Malay students in Malaysia. Such a situation is seen as a continuation of the elite system that existed during the British colonial period. At that time, the division that existed w as between the masses and those who came from aristocratic and rich Malay families , urban Chinese, and Indians. English language monopoly might have been taken off the school system but the impact played in different ways among the students , particularly among the Malays . In the long run, e ventually , the Malaysian government did turn back on its own previous language policies that it now saw as an imped iment to Some of the rural non - Malay students, those from the estate and the kampung , were also under a similar predicament. The government now s aw the need for global economic participation and to prepare its citizens with global skills . In 2002, it re - introduced English for the teaching of math and scien ce 97 subjects at the primary and secondary school level s . This was a policy that brought more English usage in the classroom , language in a powerful manner, especially with the numerous de bates that were going on arguing for and against this new language policy. This policy could possibly have helped build the confidence level among the Malays, in terms of improving their command of English and increasing the amount of its usage time in the classroom. It could have possibly narrowed the widening gap that was emerging in society in terms of English language speakers and non - English speakers. Unfortun a tely, things did not quite happen the way it was planned , to the disadvantage of this group o f non - English students . It was found that the expert teachers who in the past taught math and science in the Malay language, were now struggling to do so in English. This was a generation produced by the nationalistic policy of the government that favored Malay, beginning in the 1970s. These teachers , most of them Malays, were sent for numerous training during the school year, and yet the task of teaching two important content area subjects in English was too daunting for them. According to Seoyeon Choi (2010), some of the lessons came with CD - ROMS that showed virtual teachers who spoke fluent English. These virtual teachers taught lesson s using perfect English , and with very little Malaysian accent or grammatical errors , unlike the Malaysian teachers wh o struggled with grammar . Choi transition less burdensome, new textbooks left out some topics that had been included in old ones in Bahasa Malaysia (Malay language) . As a result, the new curricula provided less informati on - city school did not automatically connect the students and teachers to the sea of scientific Apart from that, base d on her observations of nine 98 lessons and teacher interviews under the PPSMI policy, Asiah Mohd Sharif (2013) reported that 40% of the teachers were still using Malay in the classroom . Most of t he teachers use d very simple E nglish , and with errors . As a re sult of this, it was found that there was a distortion in the content knowledge that was imparted to the students. This m ade them poor models for students. The struggles faced by the classroom teachers , the ineffectiveness in the way the PPSMI policy was i mplemented , and the continuous nationalistic debates in the wider society eventually led to abolishing the system , just five years after its inception . Thus overall, the students in this study have had their identities shaped differently as a result of t hese various classroom experiences. Some of the differences ha d to do with the classroom make up, and some of them ha d to do with the kind of English language policies put in place by the government , and some of them were due to the type s of teachers who w ere assigned to teach them. Conclusion In this chapter, thus far I have perceptions , obtained via their homes and schools , have been further impacted by their classroom experiences, leading to further co nstruction and reconstruction of their identities . In the exploration of how these language issues have impacted their personal identities , certain notions about their ethnic, national, and global identities have emerged . In the next chapter, I looked at t , to explore how their prior experiences carried on from their homes and schools have further shaped and re constructed their identities. 99 CHAPTER FOUR As the G round S hifts According to Clandinin and Connelly (2000), it is necessary to move back and forth between experiences in a continuum, from the personal stories to the social, while at the same time looking at them in terms of their past, present, and future. With this in mind, I began my last interview s , and focus group session with the four Malaysian students with two objectives : I wanted them to narrate further memorable stories about their interactions in the English language outside their home, school and clas sroom contexts, and I wanted to know their personal opinions about certain social happenings in the larger Malaysian context. By gathering these personal and social stories, and by going back and forth between them, I hoped to determine how the se experienc es had impacted and shaped one another. I also hoped to glean insights to understand how their self - identities, in relation to the national narratives, impacted and shaped the ir overall ethnic, national, and global identities. In the upcoming section, I h ave retold the stories shared by the student participants , beginning with Azura and Ani, the Malay participants , and moving on to Sarah and Jay, the Indian and Sino - Kadazan student respectively , about their use of English in the social realm. Out - of - Schoo l Narratives Azura One day, Azura, the student from the kampung in Kedah, the northern state in Peninsula Malaysia, went back home for one of her college breaks. This was the time when she was undertaking her two - year program before going abroad for he r undergraduate program in the 100 U.S. Once back home, she engaged in conversations with her family members as usual , using her native Malay language. At that time, unconsciously, she uttered a single word in English to her brother. This had never occurred in her household before, since no one spoke English at home, not even at this time in the 1980s when the impending forces of globalization were already affecting Malaysia. Hearing Azura utter a single word in English, her brother immediately looked at her an d burst into laughter. She was taken aback. said . He did not even give an explanation for hi s laughter. Today, Azura could not recall the word that she said on that day , but she could not help wondering about the thinking that went on she said. Azura narrated another incident that happened back in her dorm in the college , where she was living with a few close friends. They were all from different parts of Malaysia , but of similar language and socio - economic backgrounds. One day, she suggested to this group of friends that they should practice speaking in English among themselves , at least in the dorm. They refused. She did not ask them again , and everyone continued speaking in Malay , as they had always done . Azura had in fact put across this suggestion because of the insistence of one of her English lecturers in the college that students should engage in more conversations in English. Azura was naturally interested to do this because of her trip to the U.S. that was going to follo w shortly after her college program. Furthermore, the program also evaluated them on their participation level in the classroom. This was in fact a period in her life when her attitudes towards English had undergone positive transformations , but the chance had not come yet where she could use it fully for lack of a non - challenging environment where she d id not have to face embarrassment in front 101 of the modern English - speaking Malay students. The dorm seemed like a good unthreatening option , but her spirits were nipped in the bud. In an earlier chapter, I mentioned about a phenomen on propounded by Roff (1994) , s in which the members from the Malay community conduct themselves according to cultural norms and expectati ons. Not doing so will often lead to questions, head - shakes, disapproval, and sometimes even labeling of all sorts , within the community . I wanted to know if this was still the case in Malaysia, at a time when it had become increasingly globalized. Accordi ng to Azura, things are changing , but very slowly. According to her, it is true that the Malays d id not want other s to think bad ly of them , and so they would constrain from indulging in eye - brow raising acts such as using too much English , especially when used to be ! they know more but she continued. How will she speak when she goes b ack to Malaysia very soon , now that she ha s acquired more English in the U.S. as a doctoral student? Will she use more English? She said, at work place, you kn ow the Malay culture how people look at you if you are different from do thus of the 102 opinion that she will only use English when the other person uses it first. Even then, she said it rojak ad, speaking English using a very distinctive Malay slang. She described what this entails , even though I knew very well what English words in one sentence but it of speaking in this manner is that when she is unsure or uncomfortable with certain English structures in the midst of her talk, this will be a good way to cover it up. references in using English in her community in Malaysia, I thought her inability or lack of interest to change her manner of speech is because of the age group she belongs to. At the time of my interviews with Azura, she was forty and a mother of five. If she had been about a decade younger , like the other three participants, probably it would have been easier for her to do things differently , about her actions. Looking at this from a Malaysian perspective, I tho ught that it might have been easier for her if she had been younger. Now, in her role as a mother of five, and someone who will be looked up to in the community as an elder, her actions and mannerisms will be expected to follow a particular norm. Going aga inst it will mean being disrespectful to their identity and cultural expectations . As a student who had undergone almost her entire schooling in Malaysia as a struggling English language learner and user, I wondered how views about her students we re transformed upon her return from the U.S. with her first degree, when she became a secondary school teacher for ten years. According to Azura, she became more sympathetic and understanding towards her students because during this ten - year period, she ta ught English as well, even though she was trained in math and account ing 103 study Accounting. My English is still always requested by the school to fill up the English - teaching slots , and she was forced to do it without an option of refusing i t. Her only consolation was that she could request to teach non - examination classes. In the Malaysian context, it is the norm that certain grade levels that have to face national examination s, will have the English lessons taught by teachers who had done E nglish majors. Azura was always able to get the lower grade classes that were not as challenging because the students came from a small town and most of them spoke in broken English. According to Azura, teaching those classes was also a learning experience for her. With her background as someone who came from a non - English speaking environment and who had struggled with the language during her school days , she showed lots of empathy towards her students . Bahasa (Malay language). Jus t like how people taught Bahasa in English for Americans. I taught English in Bahasa most of the time but g this. Her primary goal in teaching English to her students , who were mostly not proficient in the language , was to help them to understand. Thus, she used a lot of Malay in her teaching, interspersed with some English, and she always asked them questions understand. When I used Malay to explain, they understood. I know it was wrong but then I During her teaching of English for ten years, Azura noticed how her Chinese and Indian students in this suburban school were always slightly better in their English than the Malays. 104 were worse, Malays were even worse. They don broken said, express ing her concerns. Her advice to her students at that time was simple : if it is not , and they did not attempt to speak. After many years of teaching English, Azura found it g etting ining wh y . Azura also narrated her present time in the U.S.with her children. She hopes things will be different for them in terms of English language acquisition for their own success. Even before coming to the U.S., in spite of her own problems in communicating in English, she had tried to because of the environment there where they only learn English in school. Even though we know how to speak English, we never spoke at worried about their English because I know that nowadays it is hard to get a job without before coming to the U.S., she often asked her children to watch car toons in English so that they w ould pick up some English along the way but they always refused and opted for Malay versions. About bringing her children now to the U.S., tunity to said. She also mentioned how her children now have acquired more proficiency in English language , and that sometimes they are even able to correct her grammatical errors. Another thing she noted was how they had picked up an American accent , and she is happy about it. 105 All the accounts narrated above , identities towards learning and using English had been gradual but consistent. Even during my interviews with her, she expressed dejection at still having low English proficiency. In spite of this inadequacy that she perceives within herself, she ha s come a long way to be able to feel that she is fina lly using the language without hesitating , unlike the time long ago when she was laughed at for using a single English word. Or , when once she had to gather her dorm friends to have conversations in English . N ow she is comfortable in doing it with ease , in spite of the reservations that she continues to have about her grammatical correctness . usage outside her school context to see how they had shaped and reconstructe d her identities in the social realm . Ani Ani, also of Malay ethnicity, narrated about a time when she and her three friends were returning to Malaysia for summer vacation from the U.S. , at the end of their first year of undergraduate studies. After a nea rly twenty - four hour flight, she arrived at the KL International Airport and was about to come out with her luggage when suddenly she overheard a loud phone and who was probably in his thirties , was requesting the other person on the phone to pick him up at the airport. He was friends and I simply looked at each other. It has been a while sinc e we heard that kind of English. Here in the U.S., we hardly hear people speak broken English. So interesting to hear that now! We simply looked at each other. After one year of not listening to broken English, it was 106 while, Ani said, she and her two friends did not say anything to one another but just shared e. Ani also narrated about another event that she found to be memorable because on that day , a few people made her realize a few things about herself that she had not realize d before . This happened one day when she was in the private college in Negeri Semb ilan. At this time, Ani had already become more inclined to use English, more than before because of the environment she was in where most of the students spoke in English. That day, she decided to meet a few of her ex - Malay schoolmates somewhere in Kuala Lumpur. At that time, they too were studying in local institutions , but they had gone to the ones that were mostly attended by Malay students. They had not met for a while since the time when all of them had left secondary school , so they had a lot of thin gs to talk about on that day when they met . During this meeting, which lasted for more than an hour, unbeknownst to her , Ani was using more English, a fact observed by her friends. For Ani, at this time , she had gradually started using slightly more Englis h than before. Her friends, on the other hand, as usual spoke mostly in Malay , especially since they were studying in institutions with a majority of Malay students who spoke in a similar way. Thus, in this case it can be seen how contextual factors play a major role in how identities take shape. In this case, due to the different locations that Ani and her friends were in, their English language competencies and the accompanying attitudes and identities had evolved in different ways. Thus, by this time it undergone transformation upon her entry into the social realm, first as a college student in 107 Malaysia , and later, now, as an undergraduate student in the U.S. In both these new settings, the English language slowly became a part of her linguistic repertoire. After a few years of being in the U.S. and engaging in conversations with the international community, she slowly gained more confidence , so much so that some of her Malay friends in t perceptions , especially in matters of lan guage , can be different and are again based on contextual factors. At this time, a major transformation was also beginning to take shape in Ani. She became greatly drawn to anyone, Malaysians or otherwise, who could speak English with a foreign accent . She admir ed accents especially Of these people , she used to wonder which schools could have provided them with accent . By this time, s he had come to believe that foreign accents ar e and g radually, she , too , wanted to be part of that elite group. Now that she had acquired English and had made it a great part of her life, particularly as a student in a foreign country, I wondered how she defined herself now. Ani was quick to say that mentioned by Azura when I asked her in the first interview to describe her background. Ethnicity, nationality, and religion were aspects of Malay identity that were strong in these two students. Not surprisingly, these Malay students had a strong sense of home, with home being Malaysia. The Constitution of Malaysia has defined the Malays as those who habitually speak M alay, profess Islam as their religion, and follow Malay cultural practices (Milner, 2010; Mohamad & Aljunied, 2011). This strong identification is imbued in the Malay community from 108 a young age , as can be seen in the way their home contexts in the kampung and the urban setting had been structured , connected in terms of ethnicity, religion, cultural practices , and language. My conversation s also particularly strong. She seemed like a nationalis t when she started speaking about her native language , Malay . She mentioned about a time in her secondary school when for the first time she had a Chinese classmate who had his primary education in a Chinese vernacular school. At that time, she had insiste d in speaking to him only in Malay , despite knowing his problems in the language. English was as problematic for him as much as it was for her . She could have chosen to speak to him in English but she insisted on Malay. In her private college, Ani saw more non - Malay students like him who , despite years of studying the Malay language, and various content area subjects in it , had not mastered it sufficiently for everyday use. Ani often watched as some of these students , who were highly proficient in English b ut not as much in Malay, struggled to prepare themselves when they had to attend interviews in Malay. Those students often needed a lot of practice in Malay before going for their interviews , and so they often had to obtain assistance from the Malay studen ts like Ani. Thus , Ani implied her strong nationalistic feelings here, the idea that students should possess a high proficiency level in Malay due to its position as the national language. However, in a contradictory manner, she also said that Malaysians who were raised abroad need not necessar ily have to know Malay. Furthermore, s he also did not think that language is the only feature that identifies an ethnic group. She rationalized that some of the Malays born in English - speaking countries might end up using more English and very little Malay , and that they might speak with a foreign accent; however, this does not take away their labels as Malaysians and ethnic Malays. Knowing less Malay language does not make them any less Malay , since 109 culturally and et hnically they still belong to the same group. According to Ani, a Malaysian should still be considered Malaysian even though he /she ha s lost his language identity. Thus, t hroughout my interview s with Ani, she came across with a strong sense of national, et hnic, linguistic, and religious identity; however, she was also of the belief that language should not be looked at as the only basis for identity construction. For her, what is more important is the place to which a person feels he /she belongs. Sarah S - of - school experience where she used the English language took place during an interview that she attended for a government scholarship to study abroad. Knowing that the interview would be conducted in Malay, she had prepared for i t long before that, anticipating all the possible questions and the responses she would give. On that day, t wo Malay men and an Indian woman questioned her in Malay. Sarah answered their questions in Malay very confidently , but after about a minute or two, she discovered that she was unable to continue anymore despite her days of preparation. That wa s when she decided to speak by switching between Malay and English. After a while, even that became harder , and slowly she switched completely to English. Towar ds the end of the interview, she was answering all their questions in English. She answered all their questions , but unfortunately she did not obtain the scholarship. She suspected that this could probably be for not submitting the research proposal that t hey had expected. This story indicate s the Malay language in spite of it s being her medium of instruction throughout her schooling. The truth was, according to her, she 110 never had an interest to do any extra reading in Malay. She mentioned some of the instances during her schooling days when she searched for English story books to read , since she always ran out of them fast. On the other hand, when it came to Malay, she did not have such feelings. Outside school, s he had never she said , to emphasize her point. the Malay langu age and the ease that she naturally felt towards English, I wondered what Sarah thought of the status of the Malay language in Malaysia , and where she placed it in her life. Sarah does not think that the nationalistic policy in Malaysia is working or that proficiency in the Malay language is essential to possess a Malaysian identity , or even to create unity. Is this not being anti - If that was the think if they wanted to do that, they should have picked something neutral. English was neutral. Malay was one sided. They should have high proficiency in t he national language , but not as much when things are being done at an - So I think you should know Bahasa Malaysia (Malay language) if you are a Malaysian. At lea st English is really the best medium for that. nation, you are really going back if you are using a differe nt language on the other part of the Nobody is going to benefit from that. Why not just use one language that everybody 111 , everybody should have some English , but not for reasons of acquiring While having such a strong opinion on this, on the other hand, Sarah is also aware of what some about her would be , with the associations that she has with English language. In the Malaysian context, someone l ike Sarah will be looked up to due to her educational background in a prestigious school, overseas exposure, an American English accent, parents who are professionals, a high standard of living , and so forth. Therefore, she said that sometimes she tries to , Manglish , so as not to have people get intimidated by the way she sp eaks . For her, Manglish is part of the Malaysian identity and our tional language. There are all sorts of words in it. There are Chinese words in it, there are Indian words better than saying Bahasa Malaysia is our nation al language. I think this language that we have created ( Manglish ) has think if you speak in perfect English, people might not understand you but if you speak in that Manglish kind of thi ng they will understand you better , Sarah then mentioned about her two - year working experience in a Chinese private health center that she obtained after her undergraduate studies. In this place, according to Sarah, elitism did exist to a certa in extent , even though at the personal level she wanted to belie ve that the English language should not be associated with elitism. Sarah worked in this environment with English , 112 this place required a lot of English because some of the patie nts were from the higher income group and from multiple nations. According to Sarah, some of these patients were elites who even had separate entrances to enter the medical center. Some of them even came in with their You HAVE to switch your language style to fit the different people. So when faced with different people, you tend to switch your language to match them. Maybe there is inbuilt class in this, but there , added Sarah. O not even the national language or Tamil, one of her native languages. Similar to the Malay language, Tamil too was not of much interest to her, with her background as the second generation to grow up speaking only in English. She mentioned the manner in which her mom used to nudge her over the slightly low grades that she sometimes might obtain in English. Even if Sarah had obtained 97% for her English, he r mom sometimes circle. My further co nversations with Sarah indicated to me that these loose ties with her Indian language could possibly be because of the stronger sentiments that she felt about being a global citizen than about possessing a strong ethnic and national identity. While claimi ng global identity as her main attribute, Sarah also mentioned that if asked to choose between being an Indian and a Malaysian, she w ould opt for a Malaysian identity. This ethnic identity had been fluid in her family even as a child. e world. I am just 113 Malaysia be home if there is this concept of non - Bumiput era Thus, physical national boundaries to (Malaysia) is just a place I home is where the family is. If my family was in Australia , I wondered if the transient nature that showed in Sarah could be a result of all her moves as a little girl in Malaysia. Sarah reaffirmed this , and she also related this to the Malaysian concept of balik kampung attachment. This term could living, the place of birth, or the one place where all loved ones gather for celebrations and ration, there is this ho me town and balik kampung concept. But I was born in the city. I lived in the city. I moved around but I always came back to KL. I wi th this word since many of them actually have their settlements still in the kampung area. Many of them might have migrated to the town areas for studies and employment , but the multiple trips back to their kampung is an event always looked forward to. In the case of Sarah, kampung she said. As a member of the Sino - Kadazan community who feels that her official category as a Bumiputera is only at a surface level, I was interested to find out how experien ces had been 114 shaped. In the next section, I explore her multiple experiences that shaped her perspectives and identities in terms of her ethnicity and her national and global aspirations. Jay One day, a few days before I was to meet Jay for another rou nd of interview s , she emailed me an article 14 that talked about her people in Sabah , the Kadazans, and the introduction of the ir language , Kadazandusun. When I met her a few days later, I had already read this article, and I asked her more about it in orde r to find out more about her interest in reading such articles . She said, was in fact reading about a legend called Nunuk Ragang when she discovered this particular article that talked about the language issues among the indigenous people in Sabah. That was when she decided to share it with me. Nunuk Ragang is a legend held dea rly in the minds of the indigenous Kadazan people in Sabah (or the Dusun people , as they were categorized once by the British, a fact that I gathered from the article that Jay shared with me) . Nunuk Ragang is in fact a famous legend that is about how the K adazan people came to be in this part of Borneo. According to this often told narrative, their ancestors originated from a village named Nunuk Ragang. This was at a place named Tampias , where three rivers, Liwagu, Takashaw, and Gelibang , met. Nunuk Ragang literally the steadfast belief that this is the tree from which they believe all of them originated. To commemorate this rich history, a monument shaped like a 14 Reid, A. (1997). Endange red identity: Kadazan or Dusun in Sabah (East Malaysia). Journal of Southeast Asian Studies . 28(1). pp. 120 - 136. 115 banyan tree was established here , which today has bec ome an auspicious location that is attracting many pilgrimages and tourists. As a little girl growing up in Sabah, Jay was never told about this legend. She said, grandparents and even my mother never told us our stories, any of the legends that surro und our people such as Nunuk Ragang does not think that her grandmother, who had her education until Standard 3, knew any of those Penga it never about Nunuk Ragang or Hominodun story sequence from her. T his festival is k nown as Kaamatan , to comm emorate Huminodun, the only daughter of Kinoingan who was long ago sacrificed to spare the people from severe drought and famine. According to the legend, h er body parts were then planted as seeds , which later became rice, a great food resource around the world. Since then, this harvest festival is celebrated in dedication to the Bambaazon or rice spirit . The Nunuk Ragang festival is celebrated annually in the month of May but the climax of this event is on the last two days of the month, which are declare d public holidays by the state of Sabah. According to Jay, the Kaamatan celebrations entail a variety of entertainment and activities in the form of dances, parades, tribal food, traditional sports, singing contests, and arts and crafts sales. People from different tribal groups all over Sabah travel far to attend these events, dressed in their colorful and traditional clothes. The Unduk Ngadau beauty pageants are always the highlight of this event , and they are held at the village, district, and state leve l s . 116 Speaking passionately about the Nunuk Ragang and the Kaamatan celebrations, Jay confided about the long trip that she was quietly planning to go to Sabah that year that would coincide with the dates of the festival. The last time she attended the festi val was four years ago with her grandmother , and this year, she wanted to surprise her family members at this special went with her a couple of times. She will usua lly go with her younger sister. So there would be like two older women, my grandmother and her sister, with two young kids because I used to go took the bus to the great hall where the vibrant and co lorful celebrations were Kadazan language. Ironically, this only came out in the midst of hearing about her English l anguage speaking experiences outside her school environment. Jay started by reminiscing about two incidents that were memorable to her. The first incident happened when she was with a car instructor in Sabah. This was a time when she had just returned to Malaysia from the U.S. during one of her university breaks. That day, she remembered how the cab instructor kept on talking to her in English , and Jay was worried that her American accent might come out if she started to talk. She had just returned from ab road and did not want to appear snobbish or a show off with a foreign accent. Luckily, according to Jay, when she started to speak after a while, she was able to do it using her Malaysian accent. Only then did she feel relieved. Jay also mentioned another episode that happened at the airport when she was returning home from the U.S. That day, she had just reached Kota Kinabalu, the capital city of Sabah , when her attention was immediately drawn to a person who was speaking the Malay language with a distinct Sabahan 117 switched to some of her opinions about her native language, Kadazan, and Malay, that was adopted as the spoken language at home. It was mentioned , but one that was collectively decided by her community to master due to its status as the national language of S too. I knew words but never full sentences. They wanted to make sure that the future generation ned that by the time it was her generation, the people who were earlier using more Kadazan had dwindled to become generation, less people spoke Kadazan. Now, it is b ecoming less. Now, not many spoke from Kadazan. She now looks back at how even her grandmother , who was of pure Kadazan background, had not used it with her at home. I asked Jay if she wished that she had learned her never understand what I am saying if I speak in Kadazan anyways. Interestingly, according to Jay, her grandmother had in recent days started to use it more with her grandchildren w hen they hardly know the language. A few times, when her grandmother started to speak more in Kadazan, the grandchildren had to decipher w ha Apa mak ? Apa mak? Tak faham 118 used to say. Sometimes, Jay and her siblings would try to make up meanings about what their grandmother had said , and they would feels the loss of Kadazan language more than in the past. Recently, she tried learning it on her own , but she is often left feeling frustrated. According to Jay, Kadazan is considered a difficult language because , unlike Malay , which is phonetic - based, Ka dazan words are found as long chunks , Lately, such frustrations also started appearing for her native Chinese languag e as well. Just that morning, Jay said, she had tried reading again the paper on the Chinese New Year zodiac signs that her father had recently sent to her, along with a letter. Jay considered this paper as a very special thing , especially coming from her dad , whose usual phone conversations from Sabah were never more than a minute at a time. They were usually just a series of questions , iac sign that morning, the only meaning that Jay was able to f , especially since she had attended a Chinese vernacular school for six years in Sabah before entering an elite mission school for her secondary education where soon, put in an English - types of writing. One is the older way of writing. There are more strokes to it. Usually newspapers are printed in that kind of form. So he (my dad) sent me that form. What I learnt in 119 school was the simplified Chinese character. So I can read certain words on the piece of paper a predicament. According to her, these days it i s common to see students in her community with complete Chinese names but who do not have proficiency in the Chinese language. Recently, Jay had noticed an interesting trend among some of her family members. Apart from her grandmother , who had started usin g more Kadazan with her grandchildren, and her father , who for the first time had sent her texts in Chinese, she could see more family members trying to revive the home languages. Jay and her older brother were put in Chinese vernacular schools ; on the oth er hand, her younger brother and sister were sent to public schools that taught the Kadazan language. Her grandfather, who only spoke to her in Malay , and occasionally in English, is now conversing in the Kadazan language with her younger siblings. An uncl e, her children are picking up the Kadazan language. They are now conversant in Kadazan, English, so much younger! With such thoughts about her cultural heritage and native languages, I wondered where she placed herself in terms of her rich indigenous heritage and the modernity of English language that life had there, your story, y mixed background too. I have questions such as do I read more about this or do I read more about 120 Probably it is due to such questions about how to balance things that Jay had started to take particular positions in the use of language. Th ese days, she often wonders why some Malaysians are not their normal selves after acquiring English language proficiency, whether they are eloquent in it or not. She mentioned about the times when she called home to Sabah when a few of her relatives happen ed to be there. At times like that, usually the phone was passed from one member to another , and she often noticed the great effort some of them took to converse in English. She used to think at those times: Why the need to speak to me in English, just bec ause I am studying abroad? Why not use Malay as usual? When asked if this is because the English language is creating a class system in Malaysia, she said she hoped not. She said that some people might feel they stand out by doing that. It is entirely up t When asked how she sees herself in terms of her national identity, Jay was quick to say that she feels closer to her regional Sabahan I like the concept of Malaysia. I really love the Malaysia Truly Asia concept promoted by Tourism Malaysia that Truly Asia just on the surface. We have so many rac es, so many religions. Everybody supposed to live with each other happily ever after, - based politics, back stabbing, racial insensitivity, and intolerance in Peninsul a Malaysia. She recalled her two - year stay in Peninsula Malaysia as a student in an all - Malay institution where she did her matriculation program before leaving for there in Peninsula, people are conc erned about who you are, what race you are, what religion you 121 even the Chinese man at the market once asked for her race because she did not look Chinese had come to profess. She a When I d Bumiputera always got classified as lain - lain The above accounts have indicate d thus far how the identities of the four stu dents in this study were shaped differently , depending on the their diverse home s , school and classroom experiences , and how all these were brought together to bear on the larger social context. They show how they responded to certain circumstances, and ne gotiated and transformed their identities accordingly. They also indicate how their attitudes and perceptions on issues related to ethnic, national, and global identities have shaped and have been reshaped by their social environment All these instances p oint to one thing : the existence of flexible identities among them that had taken place irrespective of their ethnicity, socio - economic backgrounds, and schooling experiences. In the upcoming section, I have explored the nature of these flexibilities in o rder to the English language. 122 Flexible Identities The flexibilit ies in the identities of the four students in this study are the result of two very different aspirations : the and regain a n identity lost or partially lost . The first phenomenon is found in Azura and Ani, the two Malay student participants , who show ed great interest in learn ing to speak English , with a penchant to achieve an elite status. This is a flexibility that is rooted more in social mobility and liberal cosmopolitanism. The second form is seen in Jay and Sarah who ha d high English language proficiency but who now show an interest in certain aspect s of their identity. Social M obility Before I explore the notion of t he flexible identity that is evident in Azura and Ani, it is necessary to look back at how the Malaysian Federal Constitution define s someone from that community, the Malays . T he Cons titution defines a Malay as someone who speaks Malay, follows the cultural practices, and professes Islam as the religion . This definition of what Malays are and what they should do stipulat es the fact that their identities are fixed and not something tha t can be transformed. Identities are always said to be permeable and something that is bound contextually. However, in this case the Malay identity is seen as something permanent. Certain h istorical reasons can be given to explain this. During the colonial period, and even long before that, the then Malaya was a conglomerate of various nationalities who came from all over the world for trade , and they spoke at least a hundred languages but soon accepted Malay that was predominantly spoken in the region. Dur ing this time, the indigenous Malay population saw a need to distinguish themselves 123 from the others ; later under British rule, they saw a greater need to do this with the growing Chinese and Indian immigrant population. During the years leading to independ ence, the Malay s saw a further need to install certain symbols as identity markers to reinstate their position in the country. Two of these symbols were the Malay language and Islam ic religion . Up to today, th is group of people, th e Malays , ha ve identified themselves in terms of their language and religion. that on occasions, they had stepped out of the national definition that ha d been ascribed to them. A further exploration of their identities, however, show s th is happening only in the issue of language. Their ethnicity as Malays and their religion being Islam are still non - negotiable aspects of their identity . In the beginning chapters, I mentioned how both Azura and Ani sh ow ed instances of resistance and indifference; they looked at English as another school academic subject, it was a subject that need ed high grades to pursue their studies abroad, and thought that those who and - offs , at the non - speakers in a condescending manner. Th ey saw these elite s tudents, who came from affluent homes, standing out in all aspects of schooling, and often liked by the teachers, even though not always by the other studen t s. Azura and Ani looked at the m with awe and admiration but these feelings stopped there , at least at the primary and secondary level s . At the tertiary level, having constructed some of their prior identities of themselves as Malay students who only speak Malay, they wanted to acquire some of the elitism too. Thus, a gradual change occurred in both of them. From an initiial position of resisting English , later they began to take steps to acquire as much proficiency as possible. This happened more in Ani than in Azura. In the case of An i, the younger of the two, she also wanted to acquire a Western accent 124 in her speech. This , for her , was a sign of social class and show ed the others that they have come from good schools. This - is an in teresting feature in her identity that she only acquired during her years of study in the U.S. Azura, o n the other hand, a mother of five children who also lived with her in the U.S. at the time of her pursuing her doctorate degree, is currently show ing mo re interest in the kind of identity that she c an give her children in the future as English language speakers . If during her childhood , Malay was the only language used at home, today for her children she hopes to see English playing a bigger role. She wan ted them to be better than her in this aspect because she still feels that she ha d not acquired as much English competency as she would like to. Ani, on the other hand , exuberates a lot of confidence in herself in speaking in English , especially in the U.S . context, where a few of her American friends ha ve complimented on her language. At times , in the process of acquiring social mobility and economic prosperity, some people might willingly or unwillingly forsake certain aspects of their identity. Ani , on t he other hand, had maintained her strong ethnic, cultural, religious, and national identity ; however, her flexible identity now has made her come to accept tied to the land or to partic ular identity markers such as language. T here is an understanding and acceptance in her that families might vary in their conceptions of cultural, ethnic , and national identities. This shows further flexibility in her identity. Thus, for both Azura and Ani , acquiring the English language was a pathway to obtain the kind of social status that they saw years ago among their elite Malay friends in school. In the case of Azura , she feels that her children are , ensity in which importance is being given to acquiring English language. Such are the big shifts in identity that had gradually taken place among these two students. 125 T ensions and complications sometimes arise in the process of identity transformation . Thi s might be the case if the transformation involved are major shifts that are easily identifiable culturally - bound , and any actions taken must be done with the comm unity in mind. Thus, if a particular transformation in a Malay is immediately visible to the others , such as in choosing to speak a different language other than Malay, and in performing certain religious practices differently, it could be a reason for ten sions and conflicts. How will the community look at someone who use s more English while keeping intact all the other aspects of identities? How will this be perceived by the other community members? According to Azura, a contradictory shift i s now taking p lace in her community. On one side, people still look down when another member speaks a lot in English instead of using Malay. But these days, she said, people also like it when they see another person possess English language proficiency. When I heard Azu ra say this, it gave me the impression that what is expected by the community is for a person to be savvy of the global needs but at the same time to not appear aloof and distant because of English language proficiency . This shift in thinking was also evid ent when Ani said that lately she was requested by one of her family members living close to her house to help expose her young children to the English language. Such thinking among the community members were unheard of in the past. Such identity transform ation that had gradually occurred in Azura and Ani is not only found at their level , but is also something that is gradually taking hold on the community as a whole. In the se case, this change was very gradual and took years ; thus, one has to won der how l o ng it will take at the community level, especially with the presence of the still strong Malay nationalists who continue resist ing the dominance of English language over Malay . 126 Jay, in her current position in the U.S., is showing a keen interest to "rediscover" her native ethnic language and to find out more about the legends surrounding her tribe as her ancestors moved to what would later be their permanent home in Northern Borneo. While she takes pride in wha t modernity has given her, there is a sense of cultural loss in her that only became evident in the latter part of my interviews with her. She wonders why her elders did not expose her to the Kadazan language or tell her all the rich legends that were usua lly told by the elders. Her keen interest to know all this shows in the way she started to read more and think more about such issues. This interest became evident to me in the way she began to tell me so passionately about attending the next Nunuk Ragang festival. Jay also showed exasperation at the gradual loss of Chinese language in her life, from the time that English began to be a dominant discourse. sense of identification with her culture and language , at a late r part in her life , has led her t o struggle in balancing different facets of her identity ; as a person with a western outlook who has accepted English , as a Malaysian bound by a national language, and as a person with an intense desire to know her roots . The strong interest that Jay expr essed to find out more about her cultural background was also expressed by Sarah, the Indian student participant. She showed a keen interest in the history and roots of the Malaysian Indians , and the Indian legends and mythologies, such as Ramayana. The si milarities between Jay and Sarah stop s here. Unlike Jay who is consciously seeking to find out more about herself, Sarah aspires to do her searches only in the future. She has a lot of questions about her multiple Indian lineages that even include d some Ch inese blood in the distan t past . Not knowing much about all these, she is certainly interested to seek information 127 about all these in the future. I wondered secretly if her current position in the U.S. could have been instrumental in creating an interest i n her to find out more about her family history. If Jay only sees herself more as a Sabahan, in the case of Sarah she prefers to call herself a Malaysian first , th e n as an Indian. This became evident through some of her school encounters. One such incident she was approached by a group of Tamil - speaking Indian students. S he immediately respond ed to their Tamil saying truthfully that she could not speak the language. Later, to prevent further questions, she said that During one of my interviews with Sarah, she mentioned her wish that she knew Tamil well enough to have talked to those students on that day , but she also quickly added that she never took the time to learn it and that she never di d have much feelings for it. In this instance, her interest was more to discover about her ethnic roots rather than to learn her native language. Probably this could be because she had multiple Indian languages in her circle and she did not have a particul ar inclination for any of them. Interestingly, Sarah prefer red to have a wider global identity rather than be bound by ethnic or national istic concerns . She h a s no sense of home in the same way that Jay , Azura or Ani have . According to her, her home could be anywhere as long as her loved ones are there . She will not be define d by physical boundaries or by birth sentiments . In looking at the flexible manner in which the four participants in this study constructed and reconstructed their identities, I noted a common feature among them. All of them, in some ways, no matter how globalized they have strive d to be by acquiring English language proficiency, seem to be firmly tied to their roots, wherever they think their roots are. For Azura and Ani, without quest ion, it is firmly tied to Malaysia. Sarah mentioned that her home is 128 wherever her parents are , which puts her roots, at least for the time being, in Malaysia where they are currently residing . As for Jay, of Sino - Kadazan heritage, her roots are firmly set as a Sabah an rather than as a Malaysia n . A ll the se students, with their roots firmly rooted in Malaysia in various degrees of intensity , have expressed their preference to retain this distinct identity particularly in the way they speak . They want to do t his using Manglish or the Malaysian way of speaking English . Manglish and Malaysian Identity According to Baskaran (1994), Malaysian English, or the colloquial way in which the language is spoken, is firmly established as one of the New Englishes in Malaysia. These variances have gradually occurred due to influences from the local languages and modifications that had occurred through over - generalization, simplification, omission, and addition of lexis, phonological features, and syntactic features. Si milar to other parts of the world where English has evolved , Malaysian English has also evolved from the standard form to meet the needs of the local population . To a native English speaker, this form will seem a non - standard way that does not have any fix ed structures , but a careful analysis of the speech patterns show s some governing rules. In T able 5 b elow, I show the three levels of Manglish , the Acrolect, Mesolect, and Basilect forms, with an explanation of the situations where they are used , and how t hey are perceived in terms of their legibility. 129 Table 5 The Malaysian English Social Dialects (Adapted from Baskaran, 1994, p. 29) English varieties Usage Legibility Acrolect Official Malaysian English used in formal and educational settings Intern ationally intelligible Mesolect Unofficial Malaysian English used in semiformal and casual situations Largely intelligible to non - Malaysians Basilect - past informal situations Internationally un intelligible T status and educational level. While using it to maintain a Malaysian identity in order not to appear snobbish, too much of it could also make one a lau ghing stock. In English - speaking homes such as Sarah's, Manglish is occasionally used but this is something that is done very natural ly , and Manglish could be a reason to downplay Some people think that Manglish is low standard English, but at the grass root s level, and even among the educated people such as the students in this study, it continue s to be used. According to Rajadurai (2004), speaki 130 affinity , particularly made stronger by the fact that Manglish is a truly Malaysianized form, not bound to any one particular ethnic group or speech community in Malaysia (Thirusanku and Yunus, 2012). In using Manglish , there is also no necessity to speak like a nat ive English speaker, and hence the issue of social class can be completely eliminated. The student participant Manglish at home, even though it is not the standard form, is due to various reasons. F or Jay and Sarah, it is to downplay their foreign accent and high English proficiency , especially when speaking with someone of a lower proficiency level. In the c ase of Azura and Ani, their purpose is so that they will not stand out in their community . Not speaking in this way might be perceived by the others as a sign of arrogance and show off. Sometimes it also eases the tension i n ten se situations. S peaking Manglish enable s a person to blend in with the rest, showing a Malaysian identity while still showing that they do have some English language knowledge. Showing this knowledge is also important because it is an indication of their s ocial status. For Sarah, her foreign language would come in handy when she wants to get something done, and Manglish is useful if she does not want the other person to feel that she is downplaying them. Azura prefer s mever she is talking to . T hus, t o avoid from appearing that she is showing off, she prefers to talk in a rojak Discussion The phenomen on of flexible identities found among the students , based on their English language acquisition and thei r self - identities, ha s raised a few important issues . Is the greater 131 acquisition and acceptance of the English language in Malaysia , among some of the population, synonymous to a loss or shif t in the importance placed on the national and native languages ? With such a shift in the importance placed on the languages in the country, should one of it continue being upheld over the others as the national language ? T he question raised by one of the students in this study , and lately by a few people in Malaysia a s well, is why th e role of the national language cannot be played by the English language . The rationale for this is that it is a more neutral language than the Malay language since it belongs to only one ethnic group . Can English language, then , play a mo re unifying role than Malay? The current situation can be seen in Malaysia whereby the imposition of the Malay language in the education system has created certain schools with more Malay identity , while others struggl e to retain their vernacular identiti es . Some , in favor of this system, call this a national agenda to create a Malaysian society in which all students attend the same school, learning mainly Malay and other languages , if so desired under special conditions. O thers , particularly the non - Malay s criticize this increasing ethnic polarization , cit ing the importance of cultural preservation . Thus, many today , have refus ed the national schools that have monolingual and monoethnic identit y, particularly since these schools, lately, are also increasi ngly leaning towards a particular religious identity . This, too, has become a factor for questions to arise about the languages imposed by the government under its nationalistic agenda . According to Malaysian academician and poet sent state of affairs, English is perhaps a better medium of integration, certainly among middle and lower middle class Malaysians, than even the National language. Why? Because it is not identified with ed why we should regret having more than one 132 lingua franca. He also mentioned that English is part of our colonial inheritance , and that we should strive it by fanatical nation Interestingly some of the coffee shop talks around the country often revolve around some of the national language the language , particularly in the Peninsula Malaysia, but how their own children are of ten sent overseas to acquire as much English as possible . Such criticism s are usually hurled at the nationalists elites and politicians. Is the increase d preference for English language education leading to a loss in native language? In this aspect, t wo t rends are noticeable in Malaysia. One , shows how the language is becoming a reality. Jay, the Sino - Kadazan student from Sabah , has been losing a major part of her Chinese language heritage gradually since English began to take a major role in her life. This happened unconsciously at a time when she left the Chinese vernacular school to e nter an elite secondary school. Another trend shows this language replacement taking place consciously at the commun ity level . Mukherjee and David (2011), rep ort ed a particular shift among a few of the speech communities among the Indian immigrant population in Malaysia. They note d a significant rise in the use of English as a language of communication at home , as compared to Indian languages such as Tamil . In such settings, both languages are used with ease. On the other hand, i the Indian language has been complete ly replace d by English . In some of the cases reported by Mukherjee and David (2011), it is merely a shift ; thus it is a condition where home language s are alternate d between English and those languages in the homes and in public arenas. The reasons given for such decisions, conscious or otherwise, are 133 economic gain and status . In these diverse Indian communities in Mal aysia, on the other hand, there wa s such strong grip on the home language. Thus, native languages were not seen as the , but also other aspects such as customs and traditions. Among this diverse group of Indian people, just as i Some of them profess a global identity more than that of an Indian. The multiple case studies reported by Mukherjee and David (2011) s how how among the non - Malays , there is a strong tendency to shift their linguistic practices to suit the ir local needs. But this is not the case with the Malays , as seen from the narratives obtained in this study . Only Ani mentioned that language did not n ecessarily need to to her, a Malay can be born and brought up outside Malaysia and still say that she/ he is from that country. However, when it comes to her, Ani has strong sentiments for the Malay language in her o wn life. This marks how national and ethnic identities are negotiated and transformed differently, while still professing to be Malaysian. Thus, we see young Malaysians who profess global citizen ship without having the notion of belonging to any one place . This change is evident at the ground level. In spite of how the top - down policies take shape in the Malaysian context, students at the ground level have already started feeling the urgent need and pressure to master English because it is the language of knowledge. They want to be able to do this without threats and labeling that mark them as being unpatriotic to the nation and to the national language, Malay. They show a desire to partake in the richness accorded by both the local and the global , without, however, losing their identity. 134 Conclusion Malaysia n students are obtaining different types of experiences from the various schools around the country. These differences are caused by various factors , such as the location of the school and the overall s chool culture. A common centralized English language curriculum is used throughout the nation for the entire schooling system . While this can create uniformity in the type of education that is provided to all the students, it is widening the educational ga p. Some students get the opportunity to use English in the ir schools, home s , and neighborhoods. On the other hand, some schools do not provide as much exposure to the language, and students , too , may not get as much exposure from their homes and the surrou nding environment . This situation increasingly widens the language proficiency among the different students around the country. In the Malaysian co ntext, language issues a r e highly sensitive and are always related to issues of national identity and patrio tism since such issue s always gets politicized . This often creates tension s and conflicts in the minds of students as they navigate around these issues at the local level while also struggling to obtain the English pro f i ci ency needed for success at the glo bal level . Due to the importance accorded to English at the global level, l anguage issues should not be highly politicized , especially choice of language as an unpatriotic act. Instead of politicizing such issues at t he top level , it might be more beneficial to i es about their learning and their concerns in attaining a global proficiency. In the following final chapter, I have summarized the findings obtained from this study, look ed into the pe dagogical impact , and finally self - reflect ed o n some aspects of this study. 135 C HAPTER FIVE Of Imaginings Far and Near In Chapter 1, I mentioned about Chef Huang , who sambaliz ed himself and acquired the kind s of identities that gave him a Malaysian identit y. In this study, I looked at the lived experiences of four diverse Malaysian students who had to navigate their identities as well , similar to Chef Huang, as they strive d to balance their core self - identities and their ethnic, national, and global identit ies. This study show ed the kind of transformations that they underwent as they journeyed on a path that took them to becom e proficient English language speakers and users. These students who came from different ethnic groups, home backgrounds, and types of school , faced various challenges in positioning English language in their lives . This study looked at such struggles , and at how in the process of overcoming them , the y contructed their identities in ways that led them to local and global success. For som e of these students , their journey s led them to embrac e a new global identity, with English at its center. For other students, this center kept shifting as they indulged in newer cultural journeys rarely envisioned in the past. And yet for some, it involve d continuous contestations and negotiations as they struggled with the overlapping issues of ethnic, national, global, and religious identities . Summary of Study In th e second and third chapter s in th is study, after an introduction to the study, I first sought to find out how stu attitudes towards the ir English language learning and usage were shaped differently by their various home backgrounds , and school and class s ettings. I looked at how certain schools , that had retained its globalized educational 136 system in Malaysia , had continued their strong associations with English , while others have acquired a more Malay identity , in line with the nationalistic agenda. These strong associations were also reflected at the classroom level. Some of the players in these schools and classrooms have particular identit ies of their own that also play ed Using some of the stories narrated to me by the students , I have traced how the se processes took place . Ne xt, I explored more of the stories based on their classroom experiences to see how their identities were further impacted and transformed. I look ed at these classrooms as important sites where questions about identities arise , leading students ei ther to resist or to accept the demands that are made of them. Feelings such as resistance, fear, and indifference were revealed from these experiences . I showed the emergence of two trends among students in the way their identities were shaped based on the ir classroom experiences : the existence of cultural resistance among the Malays that hinder ed their English language learning , and an overall acceptance of English for global participation . In the third chapter, I explored the students experiences with the English language outside their home and school settings. with the social context. I attempted to see how their home , school , classroom environments , and out - of - school interaction s had impact ed their self - identities . Th e study revealed that th is process had taken shape in two different ways ; first, there wa s a type of flexibility among some of the students that made them embrace English as a tool to achieve social mobility ; second l y , there wa s a lso a nother type of flexibility that propelled some of them to take a journey inwards to uncover particular aspects of their cultural heritage , that in the past had remained hidden . In the 137 midst of these differing identities, I also show ed in this chapter various attempt s to hold steadfast to their Malaysian identity, through the use of Malaysian English or Manglish . They indulge in various inward reflections about their identities surrounding their ethnicity, languages, and the nati on, this is an identity that they will not forgo. Discussion in Malaysia a battle between the elites and non - elites , or between the nationalists and the globalists ? Arokiasamay (2010) rightfully does not think that t he current preoccupation is one related to elites and non - elites , but is instead related to the aspirations of the globalists . He mentioned four distinct periods that have shaped Malay sian higher education : Education for Elites (pre - 1970) , Education for Af firmative Action ( 1970 1990), Education a s and f or Business ( 1990 2000) , and Education for Global Competition ( 2000 un til now) . He mention ed how at one time there was only one university that provided tertiary education through a national ized system. B ut today, more institutions are functioning with a focus on Englis h, despite the national policies in the country that has heralded Malay as the main language. One could argue that the Malaysian government was forced to adopt this liberalized educational environment in preparation for the globalized world and to institute Malaysia as an educational hub in the region. This greatly attracted many international students into the region who we re interested in the kind of education that wa s provided in the glob al language of trade and economy, English . al system saw a drastic increase in the number of international students between 1996 and 2003. Between 1997 and 2000, this 138 w as a 36.8 % year - on - year growth. 15 This shows th e important position that Malaysia, through its various private institutions, accorded to English , despite its official position as the second language. A national - based education wa s attracting one segment of the population , while on another side, interna tionalized education, with a high focus on English language, was attracting another . This latter kind of education, while attracting many from around the world, is currently also sought by many Malaysians , and is attracting even the most nationalist Malays . Today, Malaysians from all wa kes of life have been led to believe that the English language is the gateway to attain social and economic mobility , especially with employers in the region who seek English language proficiency . Even local firms are seeking to interna tionalize their business outlook , as Malaysia is being swarmed by global trotters, some of whom are h ere on a long term basis for employment and educational purposes . Yet, of course, others continue to disagree with this model. Th e current bat tle in Malaysia between the nationalists and the globalists is one that , in my opinion, needs to be resolved soon because of the great impact that each has on shaping . The aggressive nationalistic educational policies put forward by th e government beginning in the 19 7 0s promoted a monolingual, monoethnic , monocultural, and mono - religious school system . Today, these Malayanized schools - based identity. These schools continuously seek to make their programs mor e however, the trend to wards global skills and to uphold other cultural identities have made many seek other types of schooling experiences . Student identity shift s, as shown in this study , thus, indicate s a change in aspirations to acquire soc ial mobility through English , while at the same 15 Arokiasamy, A. R. A. (2 010). The impact of globalization on higher education in Malaysia. http://www.nyu.edu/classes/keefer/waoe/aroka.pdf Accessed 2 March 2014. 139 time, for some of them at least, to discover a different and previously unexplored cultural heritage. This trend shows how the top - down approach of the government is being sidelined by many for other options , in order to attain their goals for economic success and cultural preservation . What is imperative, however, in the debates between the nationalists and the globalists, is that student learning remain front and center . S , as particularly s een in the PPSMI educational policy , in which English language wa s reintroduced and then retracte d in the teaching of math and science , can be of no great help to students . Short - term policies such as th is cause a lot of tensions and conflicts, not just f or students , but also for the teachers who lack specialized language proficiency and who are now forced to teach the subjects in English . The Malays are bound by what is sometimes , in which every one of their action s is bound by culturally - bound societal expectations . Apart from this cultural identity imposed by the community and reinforced by the state policy , t he ir identity has also been carved by the Malaysia Federal Constitution that has defined Malays as those who are eth nic Malays, speak the Malay language, and profess Islam as their religion. Within this constrained identity, a group of Malays have managed to attain a more modern outlook and to publicly declare English as one of their home languages. They have also manag ed to transform some of their ways of living, within the bounds of the cultural expectations placed by the community as a whole. On the other hand, some , like Azura and Ani , have had a harder time to adapt their identities accordingly, due to family and en vironmental pressures . It wa s harder for them , especially in the initial stages of their schooling, to use as much English , while living in a Malay neighborhood , and studying in a Malayanized school setting . English might be the second most important langu age in the country wa s pushed further back and remain ed an academic subject . 140 T his situation has set among the Malays a w idening gap between the urban and the rural, the elite and the non - elite, and the English speake rs and non - English speakers . D ebates on how much importance should be placed in the teaching of English keep s on taking place in the social realm , while at the local level, in schools and classrooms, students cringe with the linguistic disparities that th ey see around them. Social capital has allowed some to gain more of the language skills that is needed for global success, as in Sarah. On the other hand, in a few other students it remains in the background for a great part of their schooling and the even tual problems caused by a lack of. certain identity changes had to occur for them to overcome such issues. Thus, while one small segment of the Malaysian population continues to excel in their language proficiency right from the beginning, a major segment need to pick up at a later stage in their schooling lives, in spite of it being introduced in schools at Standard 1 level (age seven). This is not an advantegous situation for many students. Gill et al (2010) ha ve pose d some interesting thoughts to ponder , i n this re spect . They have put forward the idea if it is possible for the public schools to be given the freedom to choose the ir own medium of instruction , something that they feel would be advantageous to them. They rationalize these thoughts by saying that the government has already liberalized education in the private sectors , and the international schools are already using English as the - term development o f the country - - how does it balance between the needs of linguistic nationalism and that of development - oriented nationalism ? they asked ( Gill et al , 2010, p. 202 ) . Malaysia is currently propell ing itself to achieve the status of a developed nation, with its national ideology Vision 2020 as a guide. For this to happen, as mentioned by Gill and h er 141 colleagues (2010) , there is an increasing need to put English l anguage education back into the public schools. In the face of the pressures for increasing libera lization of education in Malaysia, this seems like a n appropriate way to think about the direction of its education al system. But just like these authors, I , too , think that more is needed in this area than just lip - service. Attention to the ways in which people imagine and perform their various and intersecting identities is needed by teachers and leaders , if language policy is to be anything more than a tool for increasing social inequality. Pedagogical Implications The connotation of what it means to b e a student of the English language in Malaysia involves multiple layers of complexities. Amidst such complexities, it is necessary to go beyond teaching rigid language structures that are handed down by the top - down educational system in Malaysia w ith a s trictly timeline to adhere to . Perhaps it is now necessary for language teachers and policy makers also to take note of the differences in the complexities that exist minds that necessitate them to undergo various identit y shifts and transform ations in the process of learning the language . It is necessary for teachers to be conscious of the sociocultural factors that go into teaching the English language, especially in a multilingual and multiethnic country such as Malaysia. T eacher education programs can play a big role in this. N orrizan Razali (1992) has come up with a good recommendation in this area. According to him, sociolinguistic courses should be included as part of the training curriculum in order to prepare prospective ESL teachers w ith the kind of sociolinguistic awareness that is necessary for their future teaching 142 encounters. It is insufficient to rely on teaching method ologies and teaching resources alone in their teaching. According to him, there is an urgent need for them to be versatile and resourceful as well to help students . Among the many things that ESL teachers have to do in the Malaysian context is thus, to create a desire for inte rnal motivation, narrowing down social distance and home or community differences, and putti ng aside stereotypes in order t o facilitate effective English language learning. Most of the teacher education programs in Malaysia prescri be teaching methodolog ies , techniques, strategies, or what should go on in the classroom during instruction. However, citing the case of a doctor who prescrib es medication without knowledge of the patient's medical history, Norrizan Razali (1992) argued that prescribing a method or a technique for ESL teaching in the Malaysian classrooms is ineffective. rratives in this study have indicated all the possible areas where their English language learning and usage of the language can be hindered. A knowledge of the sociolinguistic aspects of teaching English to different types of students is useful, particula rly to help students who enter school and classroom settings with certain cultural inhibitions. A necessary. This is because i n many of the English language cl asses in Malaysia, the element of social connection is often found to be missing. Certain aspects from society in the social realm such as culture, tradition, religion and so forth have the potential to provide good context s for effective language teaching . and inclination s towards making cultural connections , has the potential to s and voluntary participa tion in the classroom setting . In this way, it is also possible to understand further the cultural factors t hat impede communication and that lead to resistance to using the language, in and outside classroom settings. 143 These ideas are also supported by Kim (2003) , who recommend ed that there should be an understanding of g the English language . It should not just revolve around the difficulties in the classroom , but should also be concerned about an awareness of how sociocultural meanings are linked in complicated ways to sociocultural identities. English teachers i n Malay sia often vent their frustrations in school staff rooms and in meeting venues , about students practice in English outside the classroom. Teachers s hould strive to understand the problems encountered by students, particularly that of resistance, an d use this knowledge to develop and organize pedagogical approaches as appropriate . Thus, teachers should b e cognizant of since c ulture is not a factor that is always recognized in the school and classroom settings . Research sho ws the importance of recogniz ing the socially constructed nature of classroom interaction s . In these settings, cultural preferences should be taken into consideration. Teachers should consciously pose question s to students and assign them particu lar roles that will shape home and cultural resources should be an integral part of classroom teaching . S trategies that a ssist or scaffold discussions need to be put in place that facilitate participation from everyone, instead of just allowing the conversation to be monopolized by the few who have the language ability and the confidence to speak proficiently . All of this can only happen if teachers begin to look beyond their curri culum and inquir e in to , in order to understand certain language inhibitions that otherwise might not become apparent. In the Malaysian setting, s uch inquir ies are immensely important , because they help in reveal ing the multiple comple xities, richness, tensions, contradictions, and transformations that are involved in the 144 . A knowledge of all these is important because these are the factors that go into encouraging or impeding language learning. Based on what the student participants in this study have reported during my interviews with them , I often wonder if Manglish can be put to use in the formal teaching of English to these students. T he four student participant s mentioned their great affinity towards Manglish , and s pecifically how they still continue to us e it in many situations in Malaysia. Perhaps since students continue to hesitate when speaking in class , due to fear of having to be grammatically correct, Manglish can be a good tool to start with, at least part of the time. This can increase the comfort level of some of the students who continuously show resistance to certain classroom policies, and who are also uncomfortable in using English in front of the few who come from English - speaking backgrounds. By allow ing the different variants of Manglish to be used in initial self - doubts and hesistance can be gradually removed. Students can be told of the three distinct versions in the way Manglish is spoken , and the different associations they have in terms of status and relevance of use in everyday life. This might be a way to encourage more usage of Manglish among them, especially among students who initially show a l ot of resistance to the language. Using this as a beginning, could they then be led on to acquire the standard version and also continue learning the curriculum units ? Personal Reflections Now that I have come to the end of my study, I feel as though my n arrative journey has just begun. I find myself left with more questions than I started with. I began this study with made him sambaliz ed and attain a Malaysian 145 identity. I n the case of Chef Huang , a t least ther e was a clearcut happy ending . In my story and that of the students who participated in this study, no such endings are in sight yet , for there are constant questions, at least in some of us, about the meaning that should be a ttached to issues of nationali stic identities , and the role played by English and the local languages in this aspect . I started this study with a few questions , and I am ending it with more questions about the issues of identities, mine as well as those of my participants. All the p articipants are now back home , with the exception of Jay. How are they coping now in the Malaysian setting after many years of being abroad? I wonder about all the new ventures they might have under taken with the ir newly acquired identities. Did they have to c onstruct their identities further to fit t he ir global identity to the local setting ? If they did , why and how did the processes take place? Has Manglish acquired different meanings in their lives now? As questions such as these run in my head , I also t hink of the haze - shrouded land that I have now returned to that has become increasingly ethnicized and politicized , more than what I kn e w of in the past . Th is haze issue will eventually go off , it always does. On the other hand, it seems as though the ethn ic issues and the ensuing politics involving nationalism are here to stay . With this, the debates surrounding English language education might still continu e raising its head . The n arrative inquiry methodology that I used to conduct this study has given me the opportunity to develop my passion in what I have been interested in for a very long time : stories. When I first began this study, I did not think that l isten ing ing about them would be daunting work to do , since I love stories anyway. But then, that was years ago when I was a naïve doctoral student who was still taking classes, and still learning the ways of academic writing. Eventually, I realized that n arrative inquiry ha s more to it than what it looks 146 like on the surf ace . Clandinin and Connelly brought into perpective the various elements that go into narrative studies , which were perplexing at first but enriching as I went along. Th is task of looking , involved a combi nation of various feelings. There were moments of happiness as I listened to the stories narrated to me because it also led me along into my own life as a n English language learner in Malaysia. However, a nalyzing the data and writing about it loomed ahead as daunting task s for me. How and where should I begin the stories? Should I mix all their stories together , or should I give each one a different chapter? When should the analysis part come in , in each chapter ? How much of my voice should be heard in such retellings? These were just a few of the questions that I lived with , day after day, for what seemed like a very long time. When I got deeper into my writing, I also encountered other types of issues. S ome of the narrations were accompanied with long and elaborate descriptions while some others , that were of major significance to me , were narrated using the fewest words possible. This led me to question my own interviewing skills. Maybe my phenomenogical interviewing techniques lacked the sh arpness that it required , I often thought during my writing . When I went over my fifteen transcripts again and again, I cringe d each time when I looked at all the openings that had good possibilities of eliciting rich stories but that I had simply bypassed . This need for specific details did not arise until I began my writing process . Apart from this issue, t here was also the constant nagging feeling that my readings up un til then were still i nsufficient. Thus , I kept on searching and reading new materials, and rereading old ones, long after I was told that it was probably enough. But in my mind, it was never enough. I did not have the right vocabulary 147 or the necessary facts to back up my claims , and hence the search had to be continued for a very long time. Interestingly, t here were times during my literature search , and in - between my writing, when I got caught up with certain historical text s that showed a view of a Malaya long gone , or told narratives of explorers who had once lived in Malaya , or passed through the region . On those days , I read the texts with great passion but eventually had to put the m aside for another time, for I did not need th at particular information for my research. I still remember the days when I had sat in the university library , down in the basement, wishing that I could just continue my reading , b ut then the grim reality of dissertation writing would always set in . In this study, I have recorded and retold t he o w best , using the current kn owledge that I now possess. There is a possibility of m y stumbling upon something new in the future ; a different understanding, a ne w data, or a new insight. The telling of this story , and analyzing it in a particular social context , has been a most humbli ng experience for me because of the realization that there are always many other possibilities , and that at th is moment , this is all I am aware of . For this reason , I believe that this reflective journey has to continue , in my future writing s or at least i n my mind. 148 APPENDI X 149 Appendi x In this section, I have included some images to enhance understanding about some of the images and locations mentioned in the chapters . The first image below shows nasi lemak , the Malaysian dish described in great length in Chapter 1. Next, there are two image s to show the settings in a kampung and an oil - palm estate in Malaysia . Figure 3 The Malaysian Nasi Lemak Source : http://www.seasaltwithfood.com/2010/04/nasi - lemak - with - dried - an chovies - sambal.html Accessed 28 December 2013 150 Figure 4 A Kampung Setting Source: http://www.gettingliter.com/2012/12/the - kampong - village - ballot.html Accessed 11 March 2014 151 Figure 5 An Oil - palm Estate Source : http://mypalmoil.blogspot.com/2011_01_01_archive.html Accessed 11 March 2014 152 REFERENCES 153 REFERENCES Aida Idris (2008). An analysis of Malay - Sino r elations in Malaysia. Asian Social Science . 4( 2). www.ccsenet.org/journal.html . Accesse d 10 February 2014. Ameruddin Abd Manan & Sarimah Shamsudin. (2012). Comparing Form Four Malay and The English Teacher . XLI (1). Asiah Mohd Sharif. (2013). Limited Proficien classrooms. GEMA Online Journal of Language Studies . 13(2). - imperial English in Malaysia . I n Joshua A. Fishman, Andrew W. 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