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This is to certify that the

dissertation entitled

A STUDY OF PARENTS' SELF-PERCEPTIONS AND ATTITUDES
TOWARD THE FACILITATION OF GROWTH IN CHILDREN

presented by

WILLIAM A. MESTER III

has been accepted towards fulfillment
of the requirements for

Ph.D. degi_eeinI.Iurrlcqum and Instruction

 

 

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Date July I985

 

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A STUDY OF PARENTS' SELF-PERCEPTIONS AND ATTITUDES
TOWARD THE FACILITATION OF GROWTH IN CHILDREN

By

William A. Mester III

A DISSERTATION

Submitted to
Michigan State University
in partial fulfillment of the requirements
for the degree of

DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY

College of Education

1985

.d

I

if) (I

A}

ABSTRACT
A STUDY OF PARENTS' SELF-PERCEPTIONS AND ATTITUDES
TOWARD THE FACILITATION or GRDNTH IN CHILDREN
By

William A. Master III

The purpose of this study was to examine what relationship
exists between parental participation in problem-solving discussion
groups and parents'iattitudes of acceptance toward their children and
what relationship exists between such participation and the parents'
perception of their role as a supporter of the growth endeavors of
their children.

The parent group consisted of nine parents who were students
at Saginaw Valley State College and whose children attended the day
care center. They participated in a series of problem-solving
discussion sessions on parenting. using a conceptual framework of
dynamic holistic growth.

Two hypotheses were formulated which dealt with the attitudinal
change of the parents toward greater acceptance of their children and
greater self-perception change toward their role as a facilitator of
their children's growth.

Two attitude survey instruments and an open-ended questionnaire

were administered on a pre- and posttest basis. Five constructs were

William A. Mester III

developed. in part from the study purposes and in part as an outcome of
the discussion group. which were used to analyze the dialogue of the
discussion groups. The constructs dealt with parents' perception of
the parenting process and the social-emotional growth of their children
as well as their perceptions of parenting as an opportunity for self-
renewal. The writer found no significant differences to support the
hypotheses. One subtest. Uniqueness. from the Parent Acceptance Scale.
was determine to be significant.

Through the analysis of the dialogue. sufficient supporting
data were identified to warrant the reaffirmation of five constructs.
The constructs are:

1. Parents experienced external factors that influenced the
way in which they parented. even though it was in conflict with their
personal belief system.

2. Parents expressed insecurities concerning the social and
emotional growth of their Children in a complex world.

3. Through the group discussion related to the day care
experience. parents examined and grew in their competency in parenting.

4. Parents perceived a relationship between the growth process
of the parent and that of the child.

S.‘ Parenting provided within its own context suitable opportu-

nities for the renewal and growth of the parent.

This work is dedicated to my parents. Marge and Will. whose
support and unconditional love have always served as a wonderful

example of parenting for me.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Many people have provided support and guidance for this study.
I would like to both acknowledge and thank them.

First. I would like to acknowledge the support of the members
of my doctoral committee. Drs. Charles Blackman. Louise Sause. Richard
Gardner. Glen Cooper. and Kenneth Wahl. In particular. Dr. Blackman.
as Chairman. encouraged and stimulated my growth as a unique individ-
ual. Also. Dr. Louise Sause's strength and courage as a child advocate
instilled in me a deep belief in the rights of children.

I also wish to acknowledge Dr. Kenneth Wahl. who provided the
opportunity to conduct this study at the Saginaw Valley Day Care
Center. In particular. Bonnie and Elsie. as teacher participants in
the parent discussion groups. made this effort possible through their
dedication and contribution of many hours of work.

I would also like to acknowledge Mary Wahl. who through Coop-
erative Extension provided many oportunities to conduct workshops with
variety of parents. ‘These experiences helped stimulate my interest in
the power of parent education.

Finally. and most important. I would like to acknowledge the
tremendous support from my family. John. Gretchen. and Fran. Their
love. patience and support over the years have made this a successful

undertaking.

LIST OF

Chapter
I.

II.

III.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

TELES O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O 0

INTRODUCTION 0 O O O O O O O O O O O O 0

Need for the Study . . . . .
Problem Statement . . . .
Purpose . . . . . . . . .
Significance of the Study
Hypotheses . . . . . . . .
Limitations . . . . . . .
Definition of Terms . . .
Overview of Thesis . . . .

THEORY AND SUPPORTIVE RESEARCH . . . . .

Introduction . . . . .
Schools and Community
Parent Education . . .
Parent Attitudes . . . .
Parent Education Groups and Changes in

Education . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Parent

Parent Attitude Change: Length of Experiment

Human Growth and Development . . . . .
Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

THE DESIGN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Introduction . . . .
Problem Statement .
Hypotheses . . . . .
Population . . . . .
The Day Care Program
Setting for the Study
Content of Discussion Group
Data Instruments . . . . . . .
Open-Ended Questionnaire . .
Constructs . . . . . . . . .

Page

iv

‘OCDQNNO‘O‘U‘I —l

—J
—-I

11
II
18
23

28
33
35
46

47

47
47
47
48
48
49
SO
51
SI
52

Parent As A Teacher Inventory
Parental Acceptance Scale
Analysis

Procedure for Data
Constructs . . .
Attitude Scales

Summary

IV. ANALYSIS OF DATA . .

Hypotheses O O O O O O I
Open-Ended Questionnaire .

Pretest Responses

Posttest Responses

Constructs . . . .
Question 1 . . .
Question 2 . . .
Question 3 . . .
Question 4 . . .
Question 5 . . .

Data From Pre— Posttest Instruments
Parent Acceptance Scale
Parent As A Teacher Inventory

Summary

V. SUMMARY AND REFLECTIONS

Introduction . . . . . . . . .

Summary

Reflections on Parenting . . .

Reflections on Public Education

Conclusions

Implications for Further Research

APPmDICES O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O

A. PARENT ACCEPTANCE SCALE
B. PARENT AS A TEACHER INVENTORY

C. OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONNAIRE . . . . . . . . . . . . .

D. EXCERPTS FROM PARENT DISCUSSION GROUP TRANSCRIPTS

BIBLImRAmY O O I O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O

Page

53
55
57
57

58
6O

6O
61
61
64
67
68
73
79

91

94

94
103
108
108
108
111
118
120
121
123
124
137
144
146

183

11.
12.

13.

LIST OF TABLES

Parent Acceptance Scale:
Parent Acceptance Scale:
Parent Acceptance Scale:
Parent Acceptance Scale:

Parent Acceptance Scale:

Feelings and Respect Subtest .

Uniqueness Subtest . . . . . .

Autonomous Individual Subtest

Unconditional Regard Subtest

Total

Parent As A Teacher Inventory:

Parent As A Teacher Inventory:

Parent As A Teacher Inventory:

Parent As A Teacher Inventory:

Parent As A Teacher Inventory:

Parent As A Teacher Inventory:

Frustration Subtest

Creativity Subtest .

Control Subtest

Play Subtest . .

Teacher Subtest

Total

Summary. Parent Acceptance Scale . . . . . . . .

Summary. Parent As A Teacher Inventory . . . . .

vi

Page
95

95

8

97
98
98
99
99
100
101

101
102

CHAPTER I

INTRODUCTION

Recent research in child development has demonstrated that the
early years in a child's life play a significant role in a child's
later development. Children. early in life. are learning all of the
time. from every experience. From birth they generally show a greater
tendency to exhibit feelings of happiness or positive behaviors than
negative feelings or behaviors. In Jersild's (1968) words. they do
indeed begin their lives as friends. It can be noted. however. that
these same children who at birth are so friendly and who in their
earliest years are so spontaneous. active. and curious often become
bored. passive. and hostile by age eight (Jersild. 1968). There are
many education programs which are corrective or remedial or curative in
nature. Frequently they deal with the troubled adolescent. There are
relatively few programs designed that are preventive in nature. There
are few that can be cited for their efforts to support or encourage the
actual ization of the positive potential in a child's early life
(Elkind. 198l). Efforts have been made to identify those factors
significant to a child's early development. among them the educative

role of the parent.

Most research on the early years of a child's growth and
development has acknowledged explicitly or implicitly the vital role of
the parent in a child's growth (Hereford. 1963). Parents do indeed
exert a powerful and to some extent lasting influence on their children
(Wolfe. 1964). From the moment of conception. the mother's health
determines the biological environment in which the fetus will either
thrive or struggle for survival. It is now known that even the quality
of the relationship between the husband and wife during pregnancy can
have an effect on the child's development before birth (Stone 8. Church.
1975). After birth. it is the parent who will play the primary role in
helping the child bond and develop a trusting relationship. It is from
the parents that children first experience love and acquire the idea
that they are able and worthy of love (Coopersmith. 1967). It is
largely because of their communication with parents that children
during their preschool years develop linguistic skills. The nature and
style of communication and interaction between parents and children do
have an effect on the development of intelligence in children (Hunt.
1969). Parents also play the primary role in the development of
socialization skills in their children by serving as role models (Hunt.
1969; Kagan. l970). It is true that children frequently learn to do
what their parents do and not necessarily what their parents tell them
to do. The nature of a child's growth. then. is closely related to the
nature of the relationship he has with his parents or primary care-

givers. The parent is truly a significant other in a child's life.

A parent brings to the parenting process a lengthy and complex
background of experience from the past. These past experiences will
have a significant effect on the way in which the parent will recon-
struct his or her present experiences (Dewey. l938); further. the past
as experience plays a significant role in a personhs perception of the
present (Combs. 1967). There is evidence that people tend to parent in
the same way in which they were parented (Block. 1955). ‘The relation-
ship between parent and child will also then have an effect on the
child's constellation of perceptions regarding himself or herself. the
childhs life in general. and particularly his or her relationship with
others. A parent then functions in many roles. as a primary source of
warmth. as an organizer in the living environment. a provider of
resources. a social role model. and as a facilitator of learning and
growth.

In view of such inclusive and significant roles they play. it
is understandable that parents often feel insecure or anxious about
knowing what to do to help their children grow (Briggs. 1970). Parents
may know and want what is best for their children. but they frequently
become confused recognizing how to achieve their desired ends. For
example. parents are often unaware of their own biases and prejudices.
Parents and children respond to their experiences with strong feelings:
Joy-anger. delight-sadness. Parents. however. sometimes avoid and
resist their feelings. They do not feel they are appropriate. and they
sometimes attempt to restrain such feelings in their children. Denied

feelings tend to show up later in some disguised form. such as anxiety

or guilt. and they thus can have an undesirable effect on the parent-

child relationship (Briggs. 1970). Parents. then. might become better
parents if they gained increased insight into their own experiences and
if they experienced an increased openness toward themselves and others.

Parents might also become better parents if they gained greater
knowledge of the process of growth and development in children and the
effect that parents can have on that growth (Briggs. 1970L. Parents'
knowledge of human development is important. If parents recognize that
a child is constantly striving to actualize his potential. perhaps they
might perceive their own role as a guide or facilitator. If parents
perceive a child as intrinsically motivated as opposed to being moti-
vated by external rewards. they perhaps will see more clearly their
role as providers of enriching experiences in which the child can take
joy and wonder. rather than their role as dispenser of praise and
criticism.

The knowledge or understanding that growth is a process that
follows a sequence and that development depends on the nature of the
experiences a child has had may lead parents to perceive their role as
providing new experiences that build from previous ones and that are.
according to Hunt (1964). an optimal match between the child's present
level of functioning and his or her comfort for risking new acquisi-
tions. Here. then. parents would see the importance of providing for
connectedness in the chilcfls experiences and of attending to their

child's unique level of development.

If parents come to understand that although there is a sequence
to development. still each person is unique. perhaps they can see it is
important to discover and be open to that unique pattern of growth that
constitutes their child. They perhaps can then accept and cherish
their child because of and for his or her uniqueness.

Parents. as well as children. grow from healthy interpersonal
relationships. It would seem. then. that if parents can be helped to
become better observers of child development. they can participate more
fully in their child's growth. They will become better able not only
to meet their chilcfls needs but.lnore important. to help the child meet
his or her own needs.

When parents become more aware of how children grow and when
they are given help looking at the total child. they should feel more
secure in supporting their chilcfls growth. Because of this security
they feel. parents might then be better able to build a trusting rela-
tionship and as a consequence become more open and creative and live a

fuller life.

fleeLtQLIDLStudx

While the importance of the educative role of the parent is
being assumed. more needs to be known about how parent attitudes and
self-perceptions can be influenced so that parents can play a more
effective role in improving the quality of their child's experiences.
Research has indicated that parent attitudes can be changed through
discussion groups (Hereford. 1963). To date. little research has been

conducted that has used a child's experiences in a preschool setting as

a focus for parent discussion groups. in an attempt to analyze the
relationship between problem-solving discussion groups and parent atti-

tudes toward the parenting process.

E£9h1§m_5111§m2n1
Can a group-centered. problem-solving discussion technique using
children's experiences at a day care as a common focus for discussions
on parenting:
I. be effective in helping parents gain insight into their
attitudes and self-perceptions toward parenting. and
2. influence parents' attitudes and self-perceptions so that

parents can be more effective in supporting their child's growth?

Bungee

The purpose of this study was designed to answer the questions:
(l) What is the relationship between parental participation in problem-
solving discussion groups and parents' attitudes of acceptance toward
their children? and (2) What is the relationship between such partici-
pation in problem-solving discussion groups and the parents! perception
of their role as a supporter or facilitator of the growth endeavors of
their children? The parent discussion groups were run in conjunction
with the child's participation in a day care that was based on prin-
ciples of growth and development. '

The experiences in the day care served as the catalyst and
common ground for the growth experience in the discussion groups. The

discussion sessions were group centered and problem solving in nature

and gave recognition and emphasis to the diverse nature of the partici-
pants' experiential backgrounds. The content of the discussion groups
was facilitated in the parent groups in conjunction with the conceptual

framework of human growth and development presented in Chapter II.

WI

If it can be shown that a program that uses a child's preschool
experience as a basis for parent discussion and group problem solving
will influence the parentfls attitudes and self-perceptions with respect
to parenting. a vehicle for parent education will be identified that
promotes an enriched environment that is supportive of a chilcfls
uniqueness and total growth. Thus. if an approach can be developed
that can be shown to be a good vehicle for changing attitudes and
perceptions of parents. this approach can be advanced more strongly as
a powerful tool in parent education and as a way of enhancing a childus

growth through his relationship with his parents.

W252:

.flypgthesis_1: Parents who have participated in the parent
discussion group will show attitudinal change in their acceptance
of the child.

TH¥291h951§_2: Parents who have participated in the parent
discussion group will show self-perception changes in their

perception of their role as facilitator and supporter of their
child's growth.

LJndJaIIQns
All the participants attended the same college: however. the

participants did represent a range of economic levels.

This study was limited to one series of discussions; no
comparison was made with other parent discussion groups.

The writer was the participant observer in the discussion
groups. and information obtained such as body gestures. inflections.
and facial expressions was used to interpret the data.

This study comprised six sessions spaced over a period of 12
weeks. This was done to accommodate the schedule of the college and
the day care. The limited number of sessions and the duration stand as
limitations to the study.

The sample for this study was not a random sample. The sample
consisted of those parents who volunteered to participate.

Another limitation to the study is the fact that two of the
data instruments were paper—pencil tasks and therefore required all
participants to read and respond in writing.

The use of pre—post written tests in the study may have predis-
posed or alerted participants to preferred directions of growth. This

stands as a limitation to the study.

Definitieuilems

The following terms are defined to develop a clearer under-
standing of the conceptual framework of this study.

WW: An informal
discussion group whose focus and purpose emerge from the members of

the group rather than being externally imposed.

‘Expgniential_day_gane: A program whose curriculum is the

active involvement of students with their environment as the basis for
learning.

,flglistlg_dynam1;_gngwth: A theory of growth and development.
espoused by Allport. Maslow. and Rogers. that describes a growth
process inherent in a human being that allows the uniqueness of each

person to emerge as he or she grows.

W251:

This dissertation is organized into five chapters. In Chapter
I. the writer gave a brief introduction to the thesis topic. the need
for the study. and its significance. This was followed by a statement
of hypotheses. limitations of the study. and definition of terms.

A review of the theories and supportive research relevant to
the study is presented in Chapter II. A historical account of the
relationship between schools and community. a review of literature on
parent education. and the theory and research on attitudes are
included. This is followed by a review of literature on parent
education groups and their effect on changing parent attitudes.
Changing parent attitudes with respect to research design is then
reviewed. Finally. a theory of human growth and development is
presented which will serve as a conceptual framework for the contents
of the group discussion sessions.

The design employed in this study is presented in Chapter III.

Included are the problem statement. the hypotheses. a description of

10

the population. and the evaluation instruments. The procedures for
collection and treatment of data are then presented.

In Chapter IV the analysis of data is presented. This includes
an analysis using the five constructs and the pre—post attitude
surveys.

A summary of the study. reflections. conclusions. and implica-

tions for further study are included in Chapter V.

CHAPTER II

THEORY AND SUPPORTIVE RESEARCH

Imam

As the focus of this study is parent education and day care
programs. literature related to these topics is reviewed. The nature
and role of parent education programs is examined. The historical
development of these programs is traced and their relationship to
schools in general. A more in-depth investigation of different
techniques and approaches used in parent education is conducted. A
discussion of parent attitudes follows with a review of approaches
implemented to change those attitudes. Finally. a holistic. dynamic
theory of growth and development is presented that is intended to serve
as a conceptual framework for affecting parents' role in facilitating

the growth of their child in this study.

W

The feeling that parent-school cooperation and involvement
should be important to public school education traces its roots to the
work of Francis Wayland Parker (Meyer. 1957). An educator in Chicago
in l833. he was influenced by the work of Froebel and was attempting to
implement new teaching methods. As these new methods and techniques

upset members of the community. Parker formed the first parent-teacher

11

12

guild. the first in Chicago and one of the first in the nation. The
guild meetings were used to discuss these changes. As a result. angry
and upset parents gained a better understanding of what was happening.
resulting in acceptance and harmony between school and the community.
The guilds continued to operate. and in 1897 the National
Congress for Mothers in Washington. 041. was formed. Its aim was to
bring input from the community into the school. They acquired a formal
charter three years later. changing the name to the National Congress
of Parents and Teachers. Later it evolved into the current Parent
Teacher Association (PTA). Meyer (1957) described that the PTA grew to
such an extent that its memberships were in the millions and it
represented every geographical location in the country. Its goals
continued to stress providing comnunfiiy input and participation into
the schools.
Somewhat more recently (19605 and 19705). with the pressure of
demonstrative social change. new demands were placed on the school to
be responsive to its citizenry. Hildebrandt (1976) stated.
The accelerated migration of rural America to the cities to work.
the need for more technically trained workers. the rising school
dropout rate. and the growing unrest among minorities woke the
nation to some festering ills in its midst. (p. 452)

So the war on poverty began. and the need to educate was accentuated.

One specific program from President Lyndon Johnson's war on
poverty was the formation of Head Start. While its major goal was to
educate young children. it maintained a strong commitment to involve
parents and school dropouts. In its first summer. Hildebrandt reported

that Head Start had involved 536.108 children. 39.463 professionals.

13

44.589 paid neighborhood residents. 54.996 neighborhood volunteers. and
40.187 other volunteers throughout the nation.

The Head Start program also included the Parent and Child
Center. which represented resources from the family. the community.
and professionals. It recognized that both paid and volunteer
nonprofessionals could make contributions. It emphasized that the
family is fundamental to the child's development and that parents
should play an important role in developing policies.

The Nixon Presidency (1969-1974) did not maintain the momentum
for early childhood education that previous periods had. However. the
Head Start program survived. mostly because of strong grassroots
support. demonstrating again that community organization is essential
to schools (Hildebrandt. 1976).

A closer look at the Head Start program reveals not only parent
and community input into schools but also schools having an effect on
parents. One basic component of the Head Start program as stated by
the Office of Education and Opportunity was that parents were to be
active partners in their chilcfls education. Gordon (1977). in his
description of Head Start programs and Parent-Child Centers. listed two
specific goals for these parents:

1. to assist in planning the program of the center: its
hours. locations. programs. etc.

2. to participate in the parent education programs of the
center which should. in part. help parents deal with general and

specific problems of child rearing and homemaking.

14

As Gordon described the original intention of the Head Start
program. parents were to be involved on a more equal level in the
planning of programs for their children as the first step for them to
experience ownership in their children's education. Simultaneously
with this ownership of the problem would come recognition or awareness
of the need for information concerning parenting skills. At this
point. then. it was hoped information would be more relevant to them
and they would be more accepting of it.

Levin (1967) encouraged this relationship between school and
home. Thaindicated that the success of the Mississippi Head Start
program might be due to the involvement of the parents in so much of
the control and decision-making process. He concluded that when
parents were asked and when it was clear that their answers were used.
parents spoke up and became involved in their children's education.

Bloom. Davis. and Hess (1965) took the position that the school
system must take the initiative for compensatory education and parent
involvement. Fusco (1966) claimed.

Generally socially disadvantaged parents are interested in their
children's education and are eager for them to succeed in school;
their indifference and apathy reflect their lack of skills
concerning ways in which they can prepare their children for the
transition from home to school and reinforce and support efforts
made on behalf of their children. (p. 159)

School does need to take the initiative in reaching these

parents; however. the attitude of these disadvantaged parents can

interfere with the success of these efforts. Often the disadvantaged

15

parent views the school with mistrust and perceives school as forcing a
foreign set of values and attitudes upon them (Fusco. 1966).

Levin (1968). in a Follow Through Conference at Kansas City.
described these attitudes as he listed the various ways parents have
been involved in schol in the past. The first view of involvement is
that of an audience where the parent is listening to a lecture or is an
observer visiting school for the day. In this situation. the parent
might feel he is being dictated to and that he has nothing to offer the
school system. Second. the parent is asked to become a direct teacher
of the child by following certain activities. But again this can be
perceived as changing the family patterns to meet the school's and
professionals' concept of what those activities should be. Levin's
third level of participation could be described as a more active role
as an aide or volunteer. However. the goal would still be to change
the parent with school being the authority figure. In changing the
parent it is implied that one must change the value system of the
parents in order to improve the education of the child. A fourth
approach has been extended for parents as more opportunities for
decision making have been made available. such as serving on advisory
boards and having input into curriculum.

In examining these approaches to parents' involvement. there
appears to be a gap between the school's perception and the parent's
perception of working together as a team for the education of the
child. Woodhead (1977) explored this gap and proposed a direction to

follow. He suggested the need for horizontal continuity between the

16

child's experiences at home and in school. He stated there is a tacit
agreement that in modern society the caring and learning experiences
provided by parents can usually be supplemented by some additional
organized preschool experience. However. Woodhead warned that this
preschool education should support family life rather than further
undermine it by its not being complementary or cooperative with the
family situation. Gordon (1976) also supported this tacit agreement as
he stated that young parents often express doubts about their knowl-
edge. skill. and capabilities to rear children and look to other
sources for this support. Gordon's major concern was the delivery
system or mode used to impart this knowledge. Woodhead (1977) also
questioned the "interventionist" approach described by Davis. Bloom.
and Hess where children's home experiences are rejected and replaced by
an alien culture. He saw the disadvantaged home rich in experiences
even though of a different nature. and that the chilcPs learning should
take this experience as its starting point so that learning is relevant
and coherent.

Consistency between home and school or continuity to a child's
experiences has emerged as a major concern for schools. In his posi-
tion paper. "0n the Continuity of Development." Gordon (1976) defined
it as the "ongoing relationship between an individwavs behaviors.
attitudes. and personality at one age and at a later dateJ' In his
overview. Gordon discussed continuity through time where each develop-
mental stage is linked but not locked into the next step. What devel-

ops. while strongly influenced by the past. is at the same time

17

influenced by the present. What remains continuous is the self. while
specific responses or behaviors may change. This would apply to the
preschool child. making it even more important for there to be a con-
sistent relationship between his past experiences at home and the
present ones he might have in school.

Woodhead (1977) stressed the importance of continuity even
further as he explored the "horizontal continuity" of the relationship
between the preschool and the home; Woodhead argued that discontinui-
ties between home and school are.just as likely to cause problems as
discontinuities between different stages of learning can cause problems
with children's learning. This discontinuity has been fostered in the
past as education has become preoccupied with the search for ways of
reducing inequalities by offering equal opportunities for all children.
Consequently. this has forced a uniformity for all children throughout
the nation in curriculum objectives. teaching methods. and assessment
techniques. Woodhead believed that a comnunnty-based education or an
education consistent with past experiences would not seek to eradicate
these cultural differences by introducing a uniform curriculum.
Instead. the diversity of children's experiences would be recognized as
the starting point for learning.

In summary. these authors concluded that with such importance
placed on the home or the community. the school's concern clearly
becomes the question of how to help educate parents so that they may
participate with knowledge and wisdom in the decision-making process of

the child's education. Equally important is the question of how to

18

educate parents to develop better parenting skills so the child has a
wealth of experiences to operate from and can reach maximum levels of
development. The responsibility on the school's part is to listen to
the perceptions and feelings of the parents. to come to understand
their experiential background so that parental growth might be

facilitated.

EaLeDLEducatieD

Croake (1977) defined parent education as the purposive learn-
ing activity of parents who are attempting to change their methods of
interaction with their children for the purpose of encouraging positive
behavior in their children.

References to parent education in the literature date back
almost to the founding of this nation. As early as 1820. maternal
associations were referred to. whose concern was largely the moral
development of children (Sunley. 1955). Schlossman (1976) traced the
origins of parent education to G. Stanley Hall's Child Study Movement
in the 18805. Hall's original attempt was to create a body of
knowledge about the behaviors and characteristics of infants and
children through adolescence. Most information was obtained through
the use of a questionnaire filled out by the parent. Schlossman
stated.

Participation in Hall's research forced parents to observe the
behavior and speech of their children more systematically than
before. Parents thus gained a dual satisfaction of learning more

about their children and providing raw data for the scientific
study of children. (p. 441)

19

Hall's theories and concern for child development became so
widespread that in 1897 the National Congress of Mothers was formed.
later to become known as the PTA. Schlossman credited the PTA with a
paid membership of 60.000 at that time. a monthly journal of high
reputation devoted to parent education. and an eight-volume collection
of child care information entitled WW. He
stressed that the philosophical trend the PTA advocated was the new
education of the progressive period. The emphasis was placed on culti-
vating children's interests along lines that were both individually
liberating and socially acceptable. and on the doctrine of "learning by
doing." Leff (1973) revealed the strength of the PTA as a parent
education vehicle in the early 19205 when he stated that all welfare
mothers attended parent education classes.

The major strategies for the PTA to implement their philosophy
(Schlossman. 1976) were group discussions. home instruction for the
poor. and local social political action. The first method involved
small study groups to discuss recent literature they had read. real and
hypothetical problems of child care and management. and social issues.

Federal support for parent education was initiated in 1909 with
the White House Conference on Child Welfare (Brim. 1965). In 1914.
through the Smith Lever Act. provisions were made for 2.000 county home
demonstrations agents under the auspices of the Department of Agricul-
ture. These agents went directly into the home to help parents deal

with the everyday problems of raising children.

20

In the mid-19205. the Child Study Association of America (CSAA)
was started by a group of Jewish-German women (Schlossman. 1976). In
1925 the National Council of Parent Education was initiated by the CSAA
to coordinate the many lay and professional groups in the field
(Schlossman. 1976). It made major contributions to the development of
instructional materials and sponsored the first university course in
parent education at Teachers College. Columbia. in 1925 (Crooke. 1977).
The CSAA also organized the premier conference on parent education.
which culminated in the influential publication. Congennlng_flanents.
as well as publishing a monthly periodical. Child_§tudy. which was the
most sophisticated of the popular parent magazines of the day.

During that time period. parent education demonstrated three
major theoretical trends (Schlossman. 1976). The first trend was that
parent education was the instruction of the middle-class women only in
ways that they could raise their children. Second. the emphasis
shifted from the adolescent to the preschool child as educators began
to realize the importance of the early years of a child. Last. the
nursery school emerged as the vehicle to provide middle-class parents
with specific settings to learn techniques andlnethods of child
development; The White House Conference of 1932 reported five methods
and techniques used in parent education: (a) teaching parents in
groups. (b) teaching parents singly. (c) teaching parents through their
participation in nursery school (d) teaching parents through directed
cabservation of the children. and (e) use of special devices such as

reading assignments and reports.

21

During the Great Depression of the 19305. the federal Emergency
Relief Administration organized schools for young children (Hilde-
brandt. 1976). Although the intention of the program was not to put
teachers back to work. by 1942 there were 944 nursery schools operating
for 38.735 children. The Lanham Act of 1942 provided funds for day
care centers so that women could enter the work force as World War II
progressed. During this time. Sigmund Freud's theories began to
influence parents. The importance of the parent-child relationship.
the significance of the early years of a child. and the contribution of
play therapy and dramatic play to the understanding of a chilcfls inner
feelings began to influence parent education programs (Hildebrandt.
1976).

During the 19605. the emergence of the Head Start program
brought parent education from the middle class to minorities and the
disadvantaged. A review of the program has already been reported. Brim
(1965) described three methods of educating parents: (a) mass media.
(b) group discussions. and (c) individual counseling. Creek and Glover
(1977) reported that parent education and group methods in parent
education have become synonymous. The term "parent education" is now
less frequently being applied to mass-media events. Research has been
conducted to determine the effectiveness of parent education. As early
as the 19305. an investigation was undertaken as to the improvement in
parent knowledge (Owing. 1931).

A review of the recent research reveals some changing patterns.

"Changing roles and characteristics of the American family have led

22

parents and educators to question what families need in order to be
able to support the development of their children" (Hough 8. Stevens.
1981. p. 50). Keniston (1977) saw parents assuming a demanding role:
choosing. meeting. talking with. and coordinating the experts. tech-
nology. and the institutions that bring up their children. From a
positive perspective. this coordinating role allows parents to use
their awareness of the chilcfls unique needs to obtain appropriate
specialized services. However. this can be a frightening role for
parents unless they have accurate information about the past and
present characteristics of themselves and their children and a support
system (Hough & Stevens. 1981).

In the past. support systems were usually defined as institu-
tions. agencies. or programs. Bronfenbrenner (1979). in his ecological
view of the child. investigated informal support systems available to
families. He suggested that the family system is also influenced by
varied neighborhood groups. voluntary associations. and community agen-
cies. A look at these informal support systems might reveal clues to
educators as to effective means for increasing parenting skills. Hough
and Stevens (1981) drew several implications concerning these systems.
They stated that parents do not rear children in a social vacuum.
Instead they call upon. and give substantial emotional. material. and
informational help to family and friends. Parents look toward this
social network as a primary source of child-rearing information.

Stolz (1967) supported this in his interviews with parents. which

indicated parents felt that observations of other adults and children

23

and their recollections of experiences in their own homes were the most

important previous experiences influencing their parenting strategies.

We:

Hereford (1963) saw the main educational problem in parent-
child relations as not one of giving or imparting information but
rather one of changing attitudes. He stated.

The parent who can talk the jargon. who knows all about parent-

child relations and yet is unhappy and ineffective with his own

children. is an all too familiar sight. It is also quite common to

see a parent who has had little instruction about child rearing

practices. do a superior job of bringing up their children. (p. 4)
Tower's research (1980) also suggested that rather than attempting to
mold our children and modify their behavior. an examination of parents'
values would be more effective. Helping parents' attitudes become more
consistent with their goals for their children is the most effective
way to develop each child.

In exploring the concept of attitudes in general. most social
psychologists (Triandis. Insko. Zimbardo) have agreed that Allport's
(1935) definition of attitudes is the most influential one available.
Allport stated: "An attitude is a mental and neutral state of
readiness. organized through experience. exerting a directive or
dynamic influence upon the individual's response to all objects and
situations with which it is related." Triandis (1971) restated this
definition as follows: "An attitude is an idea charged with emotion
which predisposes a class of actions to a particular class of social

interactions” (p. 2). With either definition. several components of an

attitude emerge.

24

The first component (Triandis. 1971) would be the cognitive
one. the idea that is generally a result of a person categorizing
objects or experiences. An example would be a parent seeing different
ways a toddler would handle his food. thereby developing an attitude or
idea about toddlers eating. Language would have a key function in that
categorization. Triandis referred to Klineberg's statement that "when
language provides a term for a particular category. it facilitates the
use of that category by those who speak it" (p. 9). Zimbardo (1977)
conceptualized the cognitive component as "a person's beliefs about
factual knowledge of the object or person" (p. 20).

The second component is the affective one. where "emotion
charges the idea" (Triandis. 1971. p. 3). It is the person's evalua-
tion of or an emotional response to someeobject. idea. or person. This
response can be in either a positive or negative direction toward the
concept (Zimbardo. 1977). This emotional response would be based on a
person's past experiences regarding that concept.

The third component is behavioral. .Zimbardo stated it is the
person's overt response or behavior directed toward the object or
person. This is not to imply that there is a one-to-one relationship
between attitude and behavior; Zimbardo stated that a particular
action may be the product of many different attitudes; a given attitude
may influence a variety of behaviors in different ways. Tfifiandis
supported this view that attitudes influence behavior. as well as
behavior influencing attitudes. by the following example. A business-

man may support a particular political program because he feels that

25

this support will increase the number of his clients. Having done
this. he convinces himself and others that the political program has
great merit. In the process. his attitude gradually becomes positive
toward this program. Zimbardo saw that attitudes may be in conflict
with one another. as often occurs when people choose short-term pleas-
ures. knowing the long-term consequences. He further stated that
attitude and behavior might not be consistent because of a difference
in meaning between the two experiences. For these reasons. the dis-
tinction is made between the behavioral component of an attitude and
behavior in general.

In addition to the basic components of attitudes. a knowledge
of the function they serve is important to its understanding. Triandis
described four functions of attitudes:

1. They help people understand the world around them by
organizing and simplifying a very complex input from the environment.

I 2. They protect self-esteem by making it possible for them to
avoid unpleasant truths about themselves.

3. They help people adjust in a complex world by making it
more likely that they will react so as to maximize their rewards from
the environment.

4. They allow people to express their values.

The first function. according to Triandis. helps us to adjust
to our environment because it provides predictability. If we have
classified the object correctly and the object behaves the way similar

objects have behaved in the past. a person employing that previous

26

experience as a guide will usually be correct about the outcome. The
second function of attitudes is most relevant to this study. Triandis
stated that people who really count in our social environment tend to
have attitudes that are similar to ours. In addition. people often
bring those attitudes in line with the ones held by these important
people in their lives.

Parents' attitudes toward their children would be a specific
attitude to examine in light of this general information. Parents
would formulate the cognitive component by their knowledge of child
development and their past experiences of how they were parented. The
affective component would determine their basic acceptance or rejection
of the chihrs behavior. as well as how nurturing the parent might be.
The last component would be the specific set of behaviors or techniques
that the parent uses when interacting with the child.

Various research studies have investigated the influence of
parents' attitudes on children's behavior. Hereford (1963) and Croak
and Glover (1977) have suggested that a change in parental attitudes in
the parent-child relationship leads to changes in both attitudes and
behaviors on the part of the child. Anderson (1946) reported on a
study by Miles indicating that there was found to be a relationship
between parental attitudes and the child's status in social groups.
Baldwin. Kalhorn. and Breese (1945) studied seven basic attitude
clusters of parent attitudes: (a) acceptant—democratic. (b) acceptant-
democratic-indulgent. (c) indulgent. (d) casual indulgent. (e) casual

autocratic. (f) nonchalant rejectant. and (g) actively rejectant. The

27

result of this study indicated that children of acceptant-democratic
parents displayed greater intellectual development. more spontaneity.
emotional security. and control than did children of parents who were
actively reflecting or indulgent. Block (1955) investigated restrictive
versus permissive attitudes of fathers toward child rearing. The
result of Block's study indicated that restrictive fathers had little
self-assurance and constricted submissive individuals; furthermore.
restrictive fathers frequently raise children who tend to become
restrictive with their children. Nuttal and Nuttal (1976) found that
parents who were perceived as more acceptant and as using less hostile
control had children with higher academic motivation. Strom and
Johnson (1978) discovered that parents with a positive attitude toward
shared play time with their children had longer sustained interaction
time between parent and child. which improved the quality of the
relationship.

In summary. Hereford pointed out that parent education needs to
focus on changing parents' attitudes and not just dispensing informa-
tion. A review of the theoretical framework for attitudes reveals that
it has three components: cognitive. affective. and behavioral. One
function of attitudes is to help us relate to others. Identifying
other people with similar attitudes is a central factor in creating a

healthy atmosphere for the emotional growth of children.

28

ammmummmmgsummumm

A review of the major theories concerning attitude changes
indicates a variety of techniques and approaches. However. two
approaches are most comnmufly'used in the field of parent education.
The Yale Attitude Change Approach (Zimbardo. 1971) focuses on social
learning and the value of persuasive communication. Carl Hovland. a
professor of psychology. designed the technique when investigating the
morale of soldiers during World War II and attempting to change civil-
ian attitudes toward various aspects of the war effort

Zimbardo (1977) described the approach as persuasive communica-
tion. It is attempting to influence another person by arguing. pre-
senting facts. drawing conclusions. and predicting future consequences.
The approach is based on the theory that

attitudes (affective component) are influenced or changed by

altering the opinions or beliefs (cognitive or knowledge component)

that people have. Thus we should be able to change people's

attitude toward a concept by changing their belief about it.

(p. 21)
To determine the extent to which a person will be persuaded by the
communication. four specific processes need to be evaluated. The first
is attention. If people are not aware of the communication. it cannot
be effective. Comprehension is the second process as there has to be a
basic understanding of the material presented. Acceptance. the next
process. implies general agreement with the information that has been

presented. Retention. the last process. is necessary for remembering

the ideas or information and then generalizing it to new situations.

29

Zimbardo also described the Group Dynamics Approach developed
by Kurt Lewin at the University of Michigan. It assumes that the
person is more than a passive processor of information who computes
his response from the logic of argument. Instead. the person is viewed
as a social being. with an intimate dependence on others for knowledge
about the world and even about himself or herself. In this approach
the major factors that cause people to change their attitude is the
discrepancy that exists between an individual's attitude and the group
norm. Other people do not need to persuade you. Since the person is
aware of the discrepancy. he or she will change the attitude in order
to obtain acceptance. approval. and recognition. Olmsted. Ware. and
Newell (1976) restated this approach in involving parents in their
home-school program. ‘They believed that as parents see that others
view them as important and influential in their child's life and as
human beings with ideas to contribute. their feelings about themselves
may change.

A number of research studies have investigated changes in
parent attitudes as a result of participation in a parent group. In
1963. Hereford completed a four-year study of parents who met in
discussion groups for six two—hour weekly meetings. No specified
approach was used. Groups were led by trained lay volunteers. Some
groups used film as a stimulus for discussion; other groups used
nothing. The experimental groups displayed a greater change in
attitude than the control group. In a study conducted by Endres and

Evans (1969). parents met for eight study groups held at two-week

30

intervals. Discussion topics included selfeadequacy and understanding
self and others. Results indicated a change in attitude and greater
knowledge on the part of parents. but no significant differences were
found in overt behavior. However. the children of the parents in the
experimental group were found to be significantly happier andlnore
satisfied with themselves than the children of the control group.
Attitude changes in parents who have participated in parent-
effectiveness training (P.E.T.) groups have been investigated by
various researchers. Watson (1980) found that P.E.T. appeared to
influence the attitude of parents in a positive direction toward child-
rearing practices. Goldstein (1980) compared the effects of P.E.T..
assertiveness training. and a comparison treatment on self-assessed
parental attitudes and behaviors of women. Her results did not support
the concept that PJLT. significantly changed parental attitudes and
behaviors. Lewis (1978) also found that there was no significant
change of measured parent attitudes using the P.E.T. model; however.
teachers perceived children of parents who had taken a P.E.T. course
to be less blaming and dependent. In addition. those children had
feelings of being accepted by their parents to a greater degree than
the children whose parents did not receive the training. Pinkser and
Geoffrey (1978) compared P.E.T. and behavior modification parent
training. They found that the P.E.T. group demonstrated significantly
more family cohesion and. concurrently. less family conflict than the
behavior modification group. However. there was no significant differ-

ence noted within the sel f-concept variable.

31

The Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (SILEJE)
program has been widely used as a technique to affect parents'
attitudes. Kozlowski (1978) evaluated the effectiveness of SSLEJK in
changing such parent attitudes as confidence. causation. acceptance.
and understanding. His results indicated that S.T.E.P. participants
were significantly higher than the control group on those variables
when measured hnmediately; however. it did not last after a period of
time had passed. Losconcy (1979) studied the effects of microparent-
ing. adopted by Ivy. and the S.T.E.P. program to increase mothers'
empathy for their children and their own self-concept; He found that
the mothers' level of selfeconcept could be enhanced by either program.

Larson (1972) compared the P.E.T. format with achievement
motivation groups and with discussion encounter groups. It was found
that the greatest changes occurred in the achievement motivation
groups. Freeman (1975) compared Adlerian mother study groups (AMS)
with traditional mother study groups in which no particular approach
was introduced. It was found that in the AMS group mothers held
significantly less controlling and authoritarian attitudes and used
negative discipline approaches significantly less than the traditional
mother study groups.

Hamilton (1979) discovered more cooperative attitudes toward
child rearing by mothers who had participated in an Adlerian parent
education class. Morse (1980) employed a Dreikursian parent study/
discussion group to affect parents' attitudes. The experimental group

was significantly more knowledgeable and encouraging of their children

32

than the control group. Hoffman (1979) conducted a development parent
group approach to help parents develop positive child-rearing atti-
tudes. This approach did show significance for understanding and
causation as specific parent attitudes.

Sutton (1980) expanded the group discussion approach to be
effective with hard-to—reach parents by extending the format to include
a discussion of total life concerns as well as parenting issues. The
group leader must be able to integrate the parenting material for the
members of the group. Harris's study (1979) also supported the premise
that parent education classes could change parents' attitudes toward
child rearing. Judah (1979) found that a general parent education
group increased the consistency of parents' attitudes.

In summary. the Yale Attitude Change Approach advocated that.
by dispensing information. attitudes could be changed. The group
dynamics approach recognized the social nature of human beings and
their need to belong to a group as being sufficient impetus for people
to change their attitudes. This group approach has taken many
different formats and titles; however. studies have indicated that
parent education courses can change parental attitUdes (Hereford. 1963;
Larson. 1972; Lillibridge. 1971; Lobitz & Johnson. 1975; Sumerlin &
Belanger. 1978). However. Croake and Glover (1977) criticized most
parent education groups for their lack of a specific content in the
programs. 'The theoretical orientation and objectives of the program
vary greatly and largely remain unspecified. Many of the studies

involved a rather rigidly controlled format led by professionals using

33

a particular approach or framework for understanding parent and child
relationships. such as the S.T.E.P. program. or a relatively structural
approach using a text as a guideline. such as the Adlerian mother study
groups. Others were relatively unstructured and led by lay people
(Hereford. 1963). Most involved no connection with a school program

for children.

WWW
Insko (1967) stated that the most popular experimental design
for attitude change is the before-and-after design involving an
experimental and control group. both receiving a pre- and posttest
measurenent. He warned. though. that
in an attitude change study. the pretest may commit the subjects to
their initial positions and make the experimental communication
less persuasive. or the pretest may sensitize subjects to the
igsugs)‘. and make the experimental communication more persuasive.
Simonson (1979) discussed attitude measurement. He listed four
basic approaches for collecting attitude information: self-reports.
reports of others. sociometric procedures where members of a group
report about their attitudes toward one another. and records that are
systematic accounts of regular occurrences. Within each of these
categories. there are strategies for measuring attitude—related
behaviors. such as questionnaires. rating scales. interviews. written
reports. or observations.
Experiments conducted regarding changing parent attitudes have

varied in experimental design. Hereford's study (1964) used six two-

hour sessions held at two-seek intervals. Hereford also developed the

34

Parent Attitude Survey. which has been used in many studies.

Hereford's study did find significant changes in parent attitudes as
measured by the Parent Attitude Survey upon immediate posttesting.
Studies by Garcia (1971). Lillibridge (1971). and Larson (1972) used
the Parent Attitude Survey developed by Hereford. All of these studies
reported gains on the Confidence Trust Scale but reported different
findings on the other three scales of the Parent Attitude Survey.

A review of the literature indicates great variety in the
experimental designs used. Hamilton%s(l979) subjects met once a week
for eight weeks with pre- and posttesting being administered. Harris
(1979) used the Maryland Parental Attitude Survey to measure the group
that had enrolled in a parent education class. Judah (1979) used the
Porter Parental Acceptance Scale in his experiment. which met weekly
for six weeks. Morse (1980) conducted a two-hour session for eight
weeks. also using a pre- and posttest design.

Pinkser and Geoffrey (1979) held a two-hour discussion group
that met for eight consecutive weeks. Losconcy (1979) employed the
S.T.E.P. program as a treatment for his experiment. which was conducted
over a nine-week period. two hours per week. Kozlowski (1978) used the
Parent Attitude Survey to measure the effects of the S.T.E.P. His
research indicated that certain attitudes. such as trust. understand-
ing. and confidence in the parent role. did increase. Watson (1980)
also used Hereford's Parent Attitude Survey to assess the effects of
P.E.T. His experimental design included a follow-up testing to deter-

mine the long-range effects of the progranu Results indicated that

35

better scores were obtained at posttesting rather than at follow-up
testing. Lewis (1978) also assessed the effect of P.E.T. over a six-
week period using the Parent Attitude Survey Scale; however. her
results were not significant.

In summary. there also can be found to exist a considerable
range in experimental design. Testing in some studies has been
conducted before the educational setting and immediately following. In
other studies. posttesting has been conducted from 2 to 18 months after
the conclusion of the experimental sessions in an attempt to assess the
long-term or more lasting effects of the sessions. In general. most
experiments did conduct at least a two-hour session held consecutively
for either six or eight weeks. All experiments employed a parent

attitude survey. with Hereford's being widely used.

W
This study relied on the holistic dynamic theory of growth and

development as a conceptual framework. The following will give empha-
sis to some of thertenets of this framework. referring to Maslow.
Rogers. and Allport.

From this framework. human nature is viewed as essentially
good. Previous psychological theory and many philosophical and reli-
gious beliefs held that human nature is essentially evil or irrational.
In contrast. the holistic dynamic orientation holds that human nature

can be trusted as it is essentially good or at least neutral.

36

As he commented on the nature of growth in a healthy person.
Rogers (1962) underscored the basic goodness or trustworthiness of
human nature:

It will have been evident that one implication of the view
presented here is that the basic nature of the human being. when
functioning freely. is constructive and trustworthy. For me this
is an inescapable conclusion from a quarter century of experience in
psychotherapy. When we are able to free the individual from
defensiveness. so that he is open to the wide range of his own
needs. as well as to the wide range of environmental and social
demands. his reactions may be trusted to be positive. forward-
moving. constructive. We do not need to ask who will socialize
him. for one of his own deepest needs is for affiliation and commu-
nication with others. When he is fully himself. he cannot help
but be realistically socialized. We do not need to ask who will
control his aggressive impulses. for when he is open to all of his
impulses. his need to be liked by others and his tendency to give
affection are as strong as his impulses to strike out or to seize
for himself. He will be aggressive in situations in which
aggression is realistically appropriate. but there will be no
runaway need for aggression. His total behavior. in these and
other areas. when he is open to all his experience. is balanced and
realistic--behavior which is appropriate to the survival and
enhancement of a highly socialized animal.

I have little sympathy with the rather prevalent concept that
man is basically irrational. and that his impulses. if not con-
trolled. would lead to destruction of others and self. Man's
behavior is exquisitely rational. moving with subtle and ordered
complexity toward the goals his organism is endeavoring to achieve.
The tragedy for most of us is that our defenses keep us from being
aware of this rationality. so that consciously we are moving in one
direction. while organismically we are moving in another. (pp. 30—
31)

Maslow (1968) spoke similarly of the inner nature of man when

he outlined his basic propositions in WW9:

This inner nature. as much as we know of it so far. is
definitely not primarily "evil." but is rather what we adults in
our culture call "good." or else is neutral. The most accurate way
to express this is to say that it is "prior to good and evilJ'
There is little question about this if we speak of the inner nature
of the infant and child. The statement is much more complex if we
speak of the "infant" as he still exists in the adult. And it gets
still more complex if the individual is seen from the point of view
of B-psychology rather than D-psychology.

37

This conclusion is supported by all the truth revealing and
uncovering techniques that have anything to do with human nature:
psychotherapy. objective science. education and art. For instance.
in the long run. uncovering therapy lessens malice. fear. greed.
etc“. and increases love. courage. creativeness. kindness. altru-
ism. etc.. leading us to the conclusion that the latter are
"deeper."lnore natural. and more intrinsically human than the
former. 1.9.. that what we call "bad" behavior is lessened or
removed by uncovering. while what we call "good" behavior is
strengthened and fostered by uncovering. (p. 194)

An emphasis is also placed on the importance of the uniqueness
of each individual. Although people share many of the same attributes.
their uniqueness lies in the dynamic organization and development that
an individual gives to those attributes. Growth is the process through
which the individual develops or actualizes that unique organization of
inner potential.

Allport (1955) emphasized dimensions of uniqueness of each
individual as he contemplated some of the dilemmas this poses for the
sciences in studying personality.

Personality is less a finished product than a transitive
process. While it has some stable features. it is at the same time
continually undergoing change. It is this course of change. of
becoming. of individuation that is now our special concern.

The first fact that strikes us is the uniqueness of both the
process and the product. Each person is an idiom unto himself. an
apparent violation of the syntax of the species. An idiom develops
in its own peculiar context. and this context must be understood in
order to comprehend the idiom. Yet at the same time. idioms are
not entirely lawless and arbitrary; indeed they can be known for
what they are only by comparing them with the syntax of the
species.

Hence the individuality of man extends infinitely beyond the
puny individuality of plants and animals. who are primarily or
exclusively creatures of tropism or instinct. Immense horizons for
individuality open when billions of cortical cells are added to the
meager neural equipment of lower species. Man talks. laughs. feels
bored. develops a culture. prays. has a foreknowledge of death.
studies theology. and strives for the improvement of his own
personality. The infinitude of resulting patterns is plainly not
found in creatures of instinct. For this reason we should exercise

38

great caution when we extrapolate the assumptions. methods. and
concepts of natural and biological science to our subject matter.
In particular we should refuse to carry over the indifference of
other sciences to the problem of individuality. (pp. 19-22)

To understand the growth of the individual. one must come'to
understand the individual in a holistic manner. operating within the
living context of his life environment. The emotional. behavioral. or
cognitive attributes of an individual can only be fully understood if
they are regarded as parts of the total organism in the context of its
experiences. The individual as a unit can be reduced no further. The
basic datum is the individual. who stands as much more than the sum of
the parts.

Allport (1955) made this point in his exhortation for a
holistic approach to the study of personality:

Thus every person deviates in thousands of ways from the
hypothetical average man. But his individuality is not the sum of
all these separate deviations. This is a point of extreme
importance--and unless this is understood the reader will fail to
grasp the burden of this book.

Take lungs for a moment--yours and mine. There is no living
relation between your lungs and my lungs. nor between your cortical
metabolism and mine. But my lungs do influence my cortical metabo-
lism and so do yours. My potassium need interacts with my sodium
need. These chemical needs may be compared with yours. but they
have no organic functioning relation to yours. It is my heredity.
my early experience. my temperament. brain capacity. emotions.
motives. pulse rate.lnemory. cultural history. and imagination that
are bound together in one individual functioning: they comprise
one system. made up of various subsystems.

Unfortunately science studies chiefly my pulse rate in
comparison with yours. my emotions as different from yours. my
height as deviant from the norm; it seldom studies my height.
pulse. emotions as an interacting pattern.

I object strongly. therefore. to a point of view that is
currently in psychology. Eysenck states it as follows: To the
scientist. the unique individual is simply the point of intersec-
tion of a number of quantitative variables.

What does this statement mean? It means that the scientist is
not interested in the mutual interdependence of partvsystems within

39

the whole system of personality. He is interested only in separate
dimensions whereby he can compare many persons. He is interested
in hearts (yours and mine) or lungs (yours and mine) but not in the
mutual interaction of my heart with your lungs. He is interested
in some trait (e.g.. introversion)--yours and mine; but is not
interested in the manner in which your introversion interacts with
your other traits. with your values. and with your life plans. The
scientist. according to this view. then. isn”t interested in the
personality system at all. but only in common dimensions. The
person is left as a mere "point of intersection" with no internal
structure. coherence. or animation. I cannot agree with this.

(pp. 7-8)

Maslow (1970) also postulated the importance of regarding the
individual as an integrated whole:

Our first proposition states that the individual is an integrated.
organized whole. This theoretical statement is usually accepted
piously enough by psychologists. who then often proceed calmly to
ignore it in their actual experiments. That it is an experimental
reality as well as a theoretical one must be realized before sound
experimentation and sound motivation theory are possible. In
motivation theory this proposition means many specific things. For
instance. it means the whole individual is motivated rather than
just a part of him. In good theory there is no such entity as a
need of the stomach or mouth. or a genital need. There is only a
need of the individual. It is John Smith who wants food. not John
Smith's stomach. Furthermore. satisfaction comes to the whole
individual and not just to a part of him. Food satisfies John
Smith's hunger and not his stomach's hunger. (p. 19)

The need to regard the total organism. Maslow went on to point
out. may be all the more appropriate when one views needs or derives of
higher order. Further. he cautioned avoiding the complex in favor of
the more simplistic.

It would be far better to take as a model for research such a
drive. let us say. as the desire for money rather than the sheer
hunger drive. or even better. rather than any partial goal. a more
fundamental one. like the desire for love. Considering all the
evidence now in hand. it is probably true that we could never
understand fully the need for love no matter how much we might know
about the hunger drive. Indeed a stronger statement is possible.
namely. that from a full knowledge of the need for love we can
learn more about general human motivation (including the hunger
drive) than we could from a thorough study of the hunger drive.

40

It is well in this connection to recall the'critical analysis
of the concept of simplicity that has been made so often by the
Gestalt psychologists. The hunger drive. which seems simple when
compared with the drive of love. is actually not so simple in the
long run. The appearance of simplicity can be obtained by select-
ing isolated cases. activities that are relatively independent of
the wholeness of the organism. An important activity can easily be
shown to have dynamic relationships with almost everything else of
importance in the person. Why then take an activity that is not at
all average in this sense. an activity that is selected out for
special attention only because it is easier to deal with by our
customary (but not necessarily correct) experimental technique of
isolation. reduction. or of independence from other activities? If
we are faced with the choice of dealing with either (1) experimen-
tally simple problems that are however trivial or invalid. or (2)
experimental problems that are fearfully difficult but important.
we should certainly not hesitate to choose the latter. (pp. 20-21)

Further. it is held that the individual is inherently motivated
to grow and that growth can be viewed as a more dynamic and holistic
process. Both a behavioral and psychoanalytic framework would pose the
individual as a more reactive organism. The organism reacts to inter-
nal or external pressures that cause tension and then attempts to
restore balance by reducing that tension. In contrast. the holistic
dynamic theory holds that the individual is inherently motivated to
grow. that in this dynamic process the organism often seeks out states
of imbalance or tension in an effort to grow. Growth. then. is viewed
as a more continuous and ongoing process.

Allport made this point in his dialogue with Richard Evans
(1981):

Allport: Individuals are in a constant process of becoming.
Many factors enter into the process. including some mechanical
learning out of habits from the past. but all these factors must be
accounted for when we attempt to determine how personality becomes
what it is. We may learn to keep to the right in traffic or how to

run a machine or some skill which might be explained by traditional
theory. but the concept of becoming includes also the self-image.

41

maturation. identification. and all forms of cognitive learning.
They must be accounted for in an adequate theory of personality.

Evans: You made the point in your book. Ming. that per-
sonality grows in a continuing way and we cannot break up develop-
ment into segments such as the first five years. the next five
years. and so on. Emergent personality must be taken as a total
process of development.

Allport: Goldstein and Maslow have been trying to say the
same thing using the concept of self-actualization. They feel that
as long as a person lives. he has to actualize his being. and it
doesnFt stop at any period. nor is it fixed or set at any given
episode of life. (pp. 3-4)

In the same dialogue. Allport explained his view of the
organisn1(0).a5 being more proactive and not mainly a reactive tension-
reduction system.

Evans: You're using homeostasis as the biologist does. in the
sense that he postulates that the organism seeks a physiological
balance regardless of how much imbalance there is. are you not?

Allport: Yes. that's exactly what I mean. If you consider
the O as having tension-reducing propensities. or as establishing
homeostasis or equilibrium. that is one view of 0. Actually.
however. I take a more proactive view of the nature of 0. As I see
it. it not only tries to establish equilibrium under some circum-
stances. but also attempts to maintain disequilibrium. It even
goes out to seek disequilibrium in order to maintain tension. So
your conception of the nature of the 0 forms the basis for your
notion of what personality really is.(p. 14)

Maslow gave a final summary of this view as he looked at growth
motivation:

Almost always associated with negative attitudes toward the
need is the conception that the primary aim of the organism is to
get rid of the annoying need and thereby to achieve a cessation of
tension. an equilibrium. a homeostasis. a quiescence. a state of
rest. a lack of pain.

The drive or need presses toward its own elimination. Its
only striving is toward cessation. toward getting rid of itself.
toward a state of not wanting. Pushed to its logical extreme. we
wind up with Freud's death-instinct.

Angyal. Goldstein. G. Allport. C. Buhler. Schachtel and others
have effectively criticized this essentially circular position. If
the motivational life consists essentially of a defensive removal

42

of irritating tensions. and if the only end product of tension-
reduction is a state of passive waiting for more unwelcome irrita-
tions to arise and in their turn. to be dispelled. then how does
change.lor development or movement or direction come about? Why do
people improve? Get wiser? What does zest in living mean? u. 29)

Further. he stated regarding a theory of homeostasis:

This theory must be put down as an inadequate description even
of deficiency motivation. What is lacking here is awareness of the
dynamic principle which ties together and interrelates all these
separate motivational episodes. The different basic needs are
related to each other in a hierarchical order such that gratifica-
tion of one need and its consequent removal from the center of the
stage brings about not a state of rest or Stoic apathy. but rather
the emergence into consciousness of another "higher" need: wanting
and desiring continues but at a "higher" level. Thus the coming-
to—rest theory isn’t adequate even for deficiency motivation.

However. when we examine people who are predominantly growth-
motivated. the coming-to—rest conception of motivation becomes
completely useless. In such people gratification breeds increased
rather than decreased motivation. heightened rather than lessened
excitement. The appetites become intensified and heightened. They
grow upon themselves and instead of wanting less and less. such a
person wants more and more of. for instance. education. ‘The person
rather than coming-to-rest becomes more active. The appetite for
growth is whetted rather than allayed by gratification. Growth is.
in itself. a rewarding and exciting process. e.g.. the fulfilling
of yearnings and ambitions. like that of being a good doctor: the
acquisition of admired skills. like playing the violin or being a
good carpenter; the steady increase of understanding about people
or about the universe. or about oneself; the development of
creativeness in whatever field or. most important. simply the
ambition to be a good human being. (pp. 30-31)

Another condition basic to this growth is the process of need
satisfaction. Because inner nature is to be trusted. needs should be
satisfied as they arise as this will allow for the development of
further potential..

Similarly. it can be said that to help an individual grow. one
must understand that individual's realm of personal meaning. the
constellations of personal perceptions and constructs he has created

based on the experiences he has had. As feelings of safety develop.

43

individuals develop the ability to trust; through trust they develop
the ability to become open to themselves. to others. and to new

experiences. It is in this context that true growth can occur:

SAFETY > TRUST > OPENNESS > GROWTH

An environment. then. that allows for safety and trust enhances
openness and promotes growth.
Maslow outlined the processes this growth involves:

Our final formula then has the following elements:

1. The healthy spontaneous child. in his spontaneity. from
within out. in response to his own inner Being. reaches out to the
environment in wonder and interest. and expresses whatever skill
he has.

2. To the extent that he is not crippled by fear. to the
extent that he feels safe enough to dare.

3. In this process. that which gives him the delight-
experience is fortuitously encountered. or is offered to him by
helpers.

4. He must be safe and self-accepting enough to be able to
choose and prefer these delights. instead of being frightened by
them.

5. If he can choose these experiences which are validated by
the experience of delight. then he can return to the experience.
repeat it. savor it to the point of repletion. satiation or
boredom.

6. At this point. he shows the tendency to go on to more
complex. richer experiences and accomplishments in the same sector
(again. if he feels enough to dare).

7. Such experiences not only mean moving on. but have a
feedback effect on the Self. in the feeling of certainty (This I
like; that I don‘t for sure); of capability. mastery. self-trust.
self-esteem.

8. In this never ending series of choices of which life
consists. the choice may generally be schematized as between safety
(or. more broadly defensiveness) and growth. and since only that
child doesn't need safety who already has it. we may expect the
growth choice to be made by the safety-need gratified child. Only
he can afford to be bold.

9. In order to be able to choose in accord with his own nature
and to develop it. the child must be permitted to retain the
subjective experiences of delight and boredom. as the criteria of

44

the correct choice for him. ‘The alternative criterion is making
the choice in terms of the wish of another person. The Self is
lost when this happens. Also this constitutes restricting the
choice to safety alone. since the child will give up trust in his
own delightvcriterion out of fear (of losing protection. love.
etc.).

10. If the choice is really a free one. and if the child is
not crippled. then we may expect him ordinarily to choose
progression forward.

11. The evidence indicates that what delights the healthy
child. what tastes good for him. is also. more frequently than not.
"best" for him in terms of far goals as perceivable by the
spectator.

12. In this process the environment (parents. therapists.
teachers) is important in various ways. even though the ultimate
choice must be made by the child:

a. it can gratify his basic needs for safety. belongingness.
love and respect. so that he can feel unthreatened. autonomous.
interested and spontaneous and thus dare to choose the unknown;

b. it can help by making the growth choice positively
attractive and less dangerous. and by making the regressive choice
less attractive and more costly.

13. In this way the psychology of Being and the psychology of
Becoming can be reconciled. and the child. simply being himself.
can yet move forward and grow. (pp. 57-59)

Growth is something that cannot be forced or directed but must
instead be nurtured. enabled. or helped. The direction in which the
growth takes place is a decision that rests ultimately in the hands of
the individual. Individuals choose how they will grow. This outlook
places much responsibility in the hands of the individual as he chooses
and charts the course of that growth.

Maslow discussed this as great length:

If this is all so. if thelchild himself must finally make the
choice by which he grows forward. since only he can know his
subjective delight experience. then how can we reconcile this
ultimate necessity for trust in the inner individual with the
necessity for help from the environment? For he does need help.
Without help he will be too frightened to dare. How can we help
him to grow? Equally important. how can we endanger his growth?

The opposite of the subjective experience of delight (trusting
himself). so far as the child is concerned. is the opinion of other
people (love. respect. approval. admiration. reward from others.

 

45

trusting others rather than himself). Since others are so impor-
tant and vital for the helpless baby and child. fear of losing them
(as providers of safety. food. love. respect. etc) is a primal.
terrifying danger. Therefore. the child. faced with a difficult
choice between his own delight experience and the experience of
approval from others. must generally choose approval from others.
and then handle his delight by repression or letting it die. or not
noticing it or controlling it by willpower. In general. along with
this will develop a disapproval of the delight experience. or shame
and embarrassment and secretiveness about it. with finally. the
inability even to experience it.

The primal choice. the fork in the road. then. is between
others' and one's own self. If the only way to maintain the self
is to lose to others. then the ordinary child will give up the
self. This is true for the reason already mentioned. that safety
is a most basic and prepotent need for children. more primarily
necessary by far than independence and self-actualization. If
adults force this choice upon him. of choosing between the loss of
one (lower and stronger) vital necessity or another (higher and
weaker) vital necessity. the child must choose safety even at the
cost of giving up self and growth.

(In principle there is no need for forcing the child to make
such a choice. People just do it often. out of their own
sicknesses and out of ignorance. We know that it is necessary
because we have examples enough of children who are offered all
these goods simultaneously. at no vital cost. who can have safety
and love and respect too.) (pp. 51-52)

The individual charts his own growth. hopefully within an
environment of support.

From this point of view. then. of fostering self actualization
or health. a good environment (in theory) is one that offers all
necessary raw materials and then gets out of the way and stands
aside to let the (average) organism itself utter its wishes and
demands and make its choices (always remembering that it often
chooses delay. renunciation in favor of others. etc.. and that other
people also have demands and wishes). (Maslow. 1970. p. 277)

In summary. this study used as a conceptual framework a
holistic dynamic theory of growth and development. citing the works of
Allport. Maslow. and Rogers. Growth has been described as an ongoing.
continuous process inherent in a human being; emphasis is given to the

unique patterned individuality of each person's growth. Growth was

46

described as a process of need satisfaction and inherent motivation
toward further integration and growth. Growth was characterized as a
holistic and dynamic process. An atmosphere supportive of growth was
then described as one providing for safety. love. support. and

openness.

Sumarx

The development of attempts to influence parenting skills was
traced in this chapter. Schools and communities and their programs
were examined for the relationship between home'and school. Under-
scored was the evidence that. historically. schools had been concerned
about the education of the parent as well as the child. A closer
investigation into parent education programs was conducted to determine
the format or content of such programs. This investigation broadened
to include the role of parents and their support systems. It was
discovered that mass-media attempts to inform parents evolved into the
use of small group methods. Parent attitudes were then discussed to
examine their relationship to parenting behaviors. Since group methods
were a prevalent technique used in parent education. several programs
such as S.T.E.P. and P.E.T. were examined for their effectiveness.
Length of experiment and content were also examined. Finally. a theory
of growth and development was presented that would serve the conceptual

framework for the study.

CHAPTER III

THE DESIGN

IDILQQMQIIQD
The design employed in this study is described in this chapter.
It includes the problem statement. a statement of the hypotheses. and a
description of the population and sample. A description of the data-
collection instruments and the procedures for data analysis is also

included.

Went
Can a group-centered. problem-solving discussion technique using
children's experiences at a day care as a common focus for discussions
on parenting:
1. be effective in helping parents gain insight into their
attitudes and self-perceptions toward parenting. and
2. influence parents' attitudes and self-perceptions so that

parents can be more effective in supporting their child's growth?

wetness:

.flypothesis_1: Parents who have participated in the parent
discussion group will show attitudinal changes in their acceptance
of the child.

flypgthe51§_2: Parents who have participated in the parent

discussion group will show self-perception changes in their
perception of their role as facilitator of their child's growth.

47

48

Emulation

All parents whose children attended the day care center for
Saginaw Valley State College on either a full- or part-time basis were
contacted. They received a letter inviting them to participate in a
problem-solving discussion group whose major focus would be parenting.
Specific details of the study design such as completing surveys were
presented. Parents agreed to participate by completing the tear-off
sheet at the bottom of the letter and returning it to the teachers at
the day care center.

Nine parents responded to the request. All respondents were
accepted for the study. The group included one father with a handi-
capped child. four single mothers. and four married mothers. All
parents were also students at Saginaw Valley State College majoring in

various fields.

Wm

The Saginaw Valley Day Care Center consists of a modern three-
bedroom ranch—style house located on 20 acres in a rural area. There
is a barn and a corral for ponies. Lambs. rabbits. and ponies are
available as experiences for students.

The curriculum of the day care places a primary emphasis on
real experiences and free play. Much time is allowed outside for the
children to study and explore. In addition to the animals. children

also have had opportunities to plan gardens during the summer; in

119

winter they have had the opportunity to collect sap from maple trees
and reduce it to syrup.

Free play and exploration continue as the major orientation for
inside activities as well. The three-car garage has been converted for
use for large-movement activities. Students regularly plan and help
prepare meals.

The two teachers at the day care center receive support from
Introductory Education students who are guided in working with students
individually or in small groups. The head of the Early Childhood
Education Department serves as the coordinator of the day care program
and meets with the staff on a regular basis.

The student membership in the day care varies from one school
term to the next. Students' scheduled attendance varies from one to
five days a week. Students are allowed to attend for half days. The
typical student attends the day care for three days a week. The day
care is open year-round. Tuition is charged. although tuition for some

families is paid by the Department of Social Services.

mum:

The format of the discussion group was carefully designed to be
consistent with the theoretical or philosophical approach to parenting
that was chosen. The facilitator of the group was the writer. The
two day care teachers attended the six sessions held and participated
in all discussion. Meetings were held between the teachers and the
facilitator before the sessions to discuss and reach conceptual

agreement as to the process of facilitation.

50

Each sessions began with a specific focus. either an open-ended
question or a stimulus such as a series of statements. 'The parents
then responded to the topic by relating particular examples. The
examples usually reflected many different perspectives. including
opposing reactions to similar situations. The parents often related
situations describing the way they had been parented. as well as how
they were parenting. The facilitator then interjected appropriate
theoretical statements or knowledge that reflected the shared
experiences. New dimensions to the concept were introduced by the
facilitator in the form of questions. Paraphrasing or active-listening
techniques were used to clarify statements and to insure accurate
understanding for the facilitator and the groupinembers. Modeling was
provided for parents as they specifically asked for guidance in
handling particular problems. At the conclusion of each session. the
facilitator summarized the content of the session. and the group set
the goals for the next meeting.

Sessions were taped so the dialogue of the members could be
analyzed for additional information. This information would be consid-

ered with the other evaluation instruments used.

Wm

Although there was a focus to each group. the specific content
of each session remained flexible to allow for the individuality of
each member. In general. the content of the program was grounded in

the theories of Allport. Maslow. and Rogers regarding the nature of

51

growth and development. .Although topics became interrelated. the major
focus of each session was as follows:

.1st_session: This consisted of an introduction to the project.
a group dynamics activity to help members get to know each other. and
small group discussions on what goals were most important for their
children.

an_sessign: A statement sheet about growth and development
was provided for members to react to. The major theme became helping
children become responsible.

3Ld_sessign: The focus was developing good self-esteem.

AID_§QEEIQD: How to set appropriate expectations was the major

theme.
51m_§§§sign: Discussion centered on how people develop and
grow.
61h_sessign: Sex-role stereotyping was the major topic.
DataJnstLumsnts
.Qnsnzfinded_0uestiennains

The open-ended questionnaire was administered with the
intention of providing a balance in test format and with the hope of
obtaining richer data. Several open-ended statements were proposed to
obtain parents'lattitudes concerning parenting in general. Because of
the need to keep the testing time for each parent manageable. only

three questions or statements were presented:

52

a. Tell me about your child.

b. As a parent. what concerns you the most about raising your
child?

c. Describe when you felt happiest as a parent.

The first statement was designed to sample in an unstructured
way those perceptions and feelings foremost in the minds of the parents
about their Child. The second question attempted to have the parents
share the areas of parenting they were most concerned about handling.
The last statement was presented to identify those times that provided

satisfaction in the job of parenting.

.Qensnucts

Five constructs in the form of questions were used to assist in
the analysis of the data gained from the open-ended questionnaire and
the dialogue from the discussion group sessions. As stated earlier in
Chapter I. it was intended that the use of the constructs would allow
analysis of the data at yet another level and would identify additional
parameters that might lead to a deeper understanding of the parenting
process.

The particular constructs employed in this study were carefully
selected to develop the purpose of the study. The first two constructs
emerged as a result of a thorough analysis of the transcripts and open-
ended questionnaires with key words or phrases reappearing. from which
the constructs were formed. 'The last three constructs are a further

elaboration of the stated purpose of this study.

53

Each construct was developed more fully through quotations from
the open-ended surveys or from the transcripts of the discussion
groups. The major dimensions of each construct were then summarized.
On this basis. a determination was made as to whether each question
warranted assertion as a supported construct.

The following five constructs in the form of questions were
developed:

1. What evidence was expressed by the participants that at times
external factors influenced the way in which they parented even
though it was in conflict with their personal belief system?

2. What evidence was expressed by the participants that they felt
insecurities concerning the social and emotional growth of
their children in a complex world?

3. What evidence was expressed by the participants that the group
discussion related to the day care center contributed to
parents examining and growing in their competency in parenting?

4. What evidence was expressed by the participants that there is a
relationship between the growth process of the parent and that
of the child?

5. What evidence was expressed by the participants that the pro-
cess of parenting provides within its own context suitable
opportunity for the renewal and growth of the parent as a human
being?

These constructs are dealt with in Chapter IV.

Water:
The Parent As A Teacher Inventory (PAAT) and the Parental

Acceptance Scale (PAS) were chosen as two additional data-collection
instruments. Both instruments measured parents' attitudes on parenting

issues that reflect a knowledge of human growth and development.

5h

Stasser based the Parent As A Teacher Inventory (PAAT) on the
belief that parent education is most successful when the participants
are considered as individuals. More specifically. it is important to
determine what individual mothers and fathers expect of their children
and how they perceive themselves as teachers. For this reason. he
devised the PAAI. It is a composite attitude scale in which the
individual parents describe feelings about various aspects of the
parent-child interactive system. their standards for assessing the
importance of various aspects of child behavior. and their value
preferences concerning child behavior (Strom & Johnson. 1978). His
rationale for such an instrument was that an individual's emotional and
behavioral responses to their own parent-child relationship are a
combination of present parenting experience. value-laden expectations.
and beliefs regarding child behavior. Specific emphasis was given to
the nurturance of creativity as conceptualized by E. Paul Terrance and
the influence of play on human development as conceptualized by Robert
Strom.

The perspective from which the items were written encourages
mothers and fathers to analyze their role as a dynamic force in the
parent-child interactive system established with their child. It is
the focus on improving the parent-child system rather than on either
parent or children as separate agents that seems to account for the
long-term success of some early intervention programs over others that
do not have a long-term effect. ‘The PAAT items are grouped into five

areas:

55

a. Creativity subset-~Parenta1 acceptance of creative functioning
in their child and desire to encourage or suppress its
development.

b. Frustration subset--Parent child-rearing frustration and locus
of the frustration.

c. Control subset--Parent feelings about control and the extent to
which parental control of child behavior is deemed necessary.

d. Play subset--Parental understanding of play and its influences
on development.

e. Teaching-learning subset--Parent perception of their ability to
facilitate the teaching—learning process of their child.

Ten items designed to measure each of the five subsets make a
composite PAAT of 50 items. Items are patterned so that each variable
occurs only once in every five items. Scoring the inventory calls for
assigning a numerical value of 4. 3. 2. or 1 to each of the 50
responses. The most desired responses based on child-development
research are valued 4. with diminishing values assigned to other
responses on the basis of their distance from the most desirable.
Scoring may begin from the left to the right so that a Strong Yes might
be a 4 for some questions. while a Strong No might be a 4 for some

other'questions.

We

Porter (1954) identified parental acceptance of children as one
of the essential elements underlying the whole structure of the parent-
child relationship. He discovered that previous research had concen-
trated on nonacceptance. such as overprotection. rejection. or indul-
gence. The scale was devised as a means to measure parental accept-

ance. Porter's operational definition was:

56

An acceptant parent is one who:

Regards his child as a person with feelings and respects the
child's right and need to express these feelings.

Values the unique make-up of his child and does what he can to
foster that uniqueness within the limits of healthy personal and
social adjustment.

Recognizes the child's need to differentiate and separate
himself from his parents. to become an autonomous individual.

Loves his child unconditionally.

From this operational definition. Porter defined parental
acceptance as feelings and behavior on the part of the parents that are
characterized by unconditional love for the child. a recognition of the
child as a person with feelings. who has a right and a need to express
those feelings. a value for the unique make-up of the child. and a
recognition of the childhs need to differentiate and separate himself
from his parents in order that he may become an autonomous individual.

Two criteria were considered especially important when devising
test items: (1) that the items should attempt to determine the true
feelings and behavior patterns of a parent in regard to his acceptance
of his child and (2) that the parent will refer to his own child when
responding to the items rather than to children in general or to
someone else's children.

All subtest items were intermixed in the schedule. Responses
were also arranged in different combinations so that the same order
occurred only twice. Responses were arbitrarily weighted from 1 to 5.
with 1 representing low acceptance and 5 representing high acceptance.
A split-half reliability correlation of 0:766 raised by the Spearman

Brown Prophecy formula to 0.865 was obtained on the Acceptance scale by

Porter (1954).

S7

Wanker:

Censtrusts

The constructs were used to analyze the responses to the open-
ended questionnaire and the recorded dialogue from the discussion
sessions. Each construct was developed more fully through quotations
from the open-ended questionnaires and the transcripts of the discus-
sion groups. The major dimensions of each construct were summarized.
On this basis. a determination was made as to whether each construct

warranted assertion as a supported construct.

.AIIIIud§_§QalQ§

Parents in the study were tested before participation in the
discussion group and upon completion of the sessions. The testing was
conducted in a group setting for the two attitude scales administered.
Directions were explained to the group. and then the participants
completed the forms independently. The open-ended questionnaire was
administered in an individual interview with each participant. It was
felt that more information would be obtained if the participants were
encouraged to expand their responses by comments such as "Tell me
more." or "What do you mean?" The PAAT and the PAS were scored for
each participant according to the standardized procedure prescribed.
Individual scores were tabulated on paper to enable a statistical
analysis of the pre- and posttest scores.

An "A" test was applied to the data from the PAS to test

Hypothesis 1. The test for significance was conducted at the .05

58

level. An "A" test was also applied to the data gained from the Parent
as Teacher Profile to test Hypothesis 2. The test for significance was
conducted at the .05 level. The results of this treatment are pre-

sented in Chapter IV.

Sum

As previously stated. the purpose of this study was to answer
the following questions: (1) To what extent can parental participation
in problem-solving discussion groups change parental attitudes toward
directions of greater acceptance of the child? and (2) To what extent
can such participation change parental self-perception toward a greater
perception of the parents' role as being more supportive or facilita-
tive of the growth endeavors of their children? The writer believes
that the philosophy of the Saginaw Valley State College Children's
Center. which is based on principles of total growth. will serve as
a model for parents to achieve deeper insights into their parental
role. The writer believes that the group process implemented and the
model of the day care will help to prove the hypotheses stated.

Analysis of data included the use of pre—post attitude
measurements. It was noted that the process of interaction that
occurred among the members of the group might not be measured suffi-
ciently by standardized tests alone. Because of the complexity of the
parenting process as revealed in group-centered discussions. a differ-
ent type of analysis would be of further value in examining the rela-

tionship between factors. Five constructs were developed. which were

59

used to analyze the data from the open-ended questionnaires and the
transcripts of the dialogue from the discussion sessions.

The design of the study was discussed in this chapter. which
included the following: problem statement. hypotheses. population and
setting. group process. data instruments. and procedures for data

analysis.

CHAPTER IV

ANALYSIS OF DATA

In this chapter data are presented relevant to these two
questions: (1) What is the relationship between parental participation
in problem-solving discussion groups and parents' attitudes of accept-
ance toward their children? and (2) What is the relationship between
such participation in problem-solving discussion groups and the par-
entsfl perceptions of their role as a supporter or facilitator of the
growth endeavors of their children?

Data are first presented from the open-ended questionnaires
administered before and after the series of discussion sessions. Next
the findings are also presented relevant to the five key construct
questions that were used to analyze the dialogue of the discussion
groups and the open-ended questionnaires. Finally. the data are

presented on the pre- and posttest data instruments.

business:
The following hypotheses were tested:

Hypothesis_1: Parents who have participated in the parent

discussion group will show attitudinal changes in their acceptance
of the child.

hypothesjs_2: Parents who have participated in the parent
discussion group will show self-perception changes in their
perception of their role as facilitator of their child's growth.

60

61

Woman
The following questions were asked of each participant at the
beginning and the conclusion of the six discussion group sessions:
1. Please describe your child.
2. As a parent. what concerns you most about your child?
3. Describe when you felt happiest as a parent.

Responses are recorded below.

Wampum

Question 1: Please describe your child.

a. Creative. functioning well.

b. A lovable little mischief boy who is strong willed and
outgoing. Sometimes. he is stubborn about getting things his way.
Usually. he will share with his brothers and friends. He is short for
his age but fast on his feet. He loves to look and read books.

c. I see her as very active. loving. affectionate. talkative.
creative. and intelligentr-physically tall for her age. healthy. and I
think very pretty.

d. Very up and down type of personality. A bit manic depres-
sive? Sweet when up and horrible when down. Very. very sensitive.
Takes a long time to warm up to new people and things. But very
affectionate and not too sure of himself.

e. Quiet. very sensitive to displeasure. works well with
games. Lets me know quickly what we are doing regarding him. Works

and plays well by self. Seems to be developing good social awareness.

62

f. Merry. curious. stubborn. has her own mind. sociable.
funny. energetic.

g. Enjoys being around people. doesn't like to play by
himself. Very bright and curious. Reaches out to people to make them
feel good.

h. Very determined once her mind is made up. Fairly quiet.
Plays well by herself. Doesn't always show true feelings.

1. Not too responsible--doesn't pick up things. Chatters a

lot. Likes to have your attention all the time.

Question 2: As a parent. what concerns you most about your child?

a. That I can help her to become a happy person (happy with
herself) who has a sense of responsibility to herself and to society.

D. My concerns change as he moves through different stages.

He seems to work out those things that I am concerned about with little
or no interference from me.

c. One parent responded with a question mark. When questioned
further. she stated that the task of child rearing was overwhelming.

d. That he has a healthy respect for school and adults. The
first years of school are important because they will have impressions
on you for the rest of your life.

e. That he is emotionally happy. physically healthy and will
be flexible enough to make all the adjustments necessary as he grows
up. Also that he may have many opportunities to learn and see much
while he grows and that he will not be subjected to boring days with

nothing to do.

63

f. The schools I have to put her in.

g. The state that the world is in. Hard to raise a child with
so much garbage thrown at them. He can’t discern what is right or
wrong. To help him be able to decide the right to ask why.

h. The pressures my child will have to deal with. There are
so many more pressures to deal with than before.

i. That he will be a well-adjusted person when he grows up.

Question 3: Describe when you felt happiest as a parent.

a. When we share a good joke.

b. Of course with each kiss. also as I watch things click
(problem being solved) and when I watch him play with friends.

c. So many times. probably the happiest day of my life was the
day she was born. I can remember at around nine months or so when she
could really begin to cuddle on her own. feeling a real sense of
overwhelming joy. And just little things everyday.

d. When I am playing with my children. Thking trips to the
zoo. park. or farms where animals are. Enjoying these adventures with
them.

e. When he was born. When he is proud to show me something he
has learned or discovered and involves me in his conversations.

f. When my little handicapped daughter spoke to me in a whole
sentence.

9. When Alison was born because nothing had affected her yet

and I felt I could shape this person.

64

IL Holidays are really happy times now that the children are
getting older. They get so excited and enjoy getting ready that it
really gets you in the mood.

i. Bedtime is the happiest time since it seems she shares so

many secrets and we feel close.

W

Question 1: Please describe your child.

a. Sweet. loving. innocent. willing to learn. Needs a lot of
love. People are wonderful and ready to reach out until society makes
negative things happen.

b. She is sensitive. takes life much more seriously than I
would like. She spends a lot of time thinking-~in deep thought which
concerns me. She plays well with other children. She has a problem
with self-confidence and is very hard to comfort when she is upset.

c. Enthusiastic. happy by new things. stubborn. determined.
bright. loving. affectionate. Confident--will keep trying until she
succeeds.

d. Independent child. happy. determined. She has a lot of
ideas in her head she wants to carry out. If there is a problem. she
has a thousand reasons why it happened.

a. Outgoing. asks a lot of questions. very intelligent.
creative. likes to explain. He always has different things to do. He
makes up his own schedule. Gets along with others.

f. Bright. fun. sensitive. I don’t want to say bossy but he

has a tendency to want things his own way. Likes things organized.

65

Loving. affectionate. and has a good sense of humor. Not shy. likes
grown-ups to talk to him.

9. Smart. comes up with ideas. Strong willed or stubborn.

She does share with people. She can be neat once in a while. She does
talk back and fights but is starting to get along.

h. He is not all together. He gets too angry. When he is
good he is happy. He is more introspective. He can enjoy things for
himself--doesn't need for everyone else to know.

i. He likes to be with adults. He is curious about a lot of
things. He stays at a task longer and remembers quite a bit about what
happened a long ti me ago. He doesn't understand why if someone is your

friend why they might do something to hurt him.

Question 2: As a parent what concerns you most about your child?

a. The state the world is in. Hard to raise a child with so
much garbage thrown at them. They cankt'tell what is right or wrong.
To help her be able to decide right to ask why.

b. I am concerned about school. She is very intelligent but
she doesn’t display it always. I had a terrible school experience and
I don‘t want her to have a difficult time. If I have to force her to
come to school. she can get very stubborn.

c. I am worried about the separation from my husband and how
she is handling it. Concerned that she doesn't have her father and

that her father is black. Keeping up with her as she has boundless

66

energy and I don't. I want her to be happy and to be a good person so
that she doesnFt steal or cheat.

d. I want her to have good self-esteem. I want her to be able
to assert herself and that she will feel so good about herself that she
will give to others.

e. That I understand his questions. That he is open about his
feelings and not afraid to tell me what he likes. That he be able to
choose what he wants. That he is able to express himself.

f. I don't spent a lot of time worrying about raising my
child. I want her to be a happy person who can set her own goals and
be independent. This will be hard for me because she is my only child
and it will be hard to let her go.

9. I am concerned about explaining things to him and answering
his questions. When he gets stubborn and wants his own way. I do want
him to be flexible and curious.

IL I just want him to be happy and feel that his parents
didn't mess him up.

i. I am concerned that she will just give in to society and

become what society wants rather than what she wants.

Question 3: Describe when you felt happiest as a parent.
a. When Allison was born because nothing had affected her yet
and I felt that I could shape this person. There arenttia lot of
decisions to be made at that point so it is easier. You don't have to

wrack your brains.

67

b. Being alone with him--no outside intrusions. no time
limits. I like to hear his views on the world.

c. When she was born. I couldn't believe that little girl was
mine. I breast fed her for ten months and really enjoyed the warmth.

d. When I watch my kids run. during family activities. and
when I am reading to them.

e. When I know that I can respond to him and not get tired
when I am meeting his needs. When he learns to do new things.

f. Her accomplishments are nice but that is not when I feel an
overwhelming sense of love. It is the silly times when she is laughing
and giggling. That is when you feel true joy about your children.

9. When he hugs and kisses me. when he is asleep. when I am
not feeling well and he comes to comfort me. when he says that he loves
me.

n. When he is happy.

1. When I see them do things that mean they are growing up to
be nice people.

These data were analyzed. using the five constructs that

follow.

Constnuots
Five constructs in the form of questions were used to analyze
the dialogue during the discussion group sessions and the responses
from the open-ended questionnaires. in an effort to arrive at a deeper

understanding of the parenting process. Excerpts illustrating the

68

discussion group sessions are provided in the Appendix. The following

five construct questions were used to analyze the data:

1.

What evidence was expressed by the participants that at times
external factors influenced the way in which they parented even
though it was in conflict with their personal belief system?

What evidence was expressed by the participants that they felt
insecurities concerning the social and emotional growth of
their children in a complex world?

What evidence was expressed by the participants that the group
discussion related to the day care center contributed to
parents examining and growing in their competency in parenting?

What evidence was expressed by the participants that there is a
relationship between the growth process of the parent and that
of the child?

What evidence was expressed by the participants that the pro-
cess of parenting provides within its own context suitable
opportunity for the renewal and growth of the parent as a human
being?

0112511204

What evidence was expressed by the participants that at times
external factors influenced the way in which they parented even
though it was in conflict with their personal belief system?

A major theme expressed was that parents often felt a lack of

control over their ability to respond to their child in a manner they

would like to or know they should respond. As they reflected over past

incidences of interactions with their children. they could identify

what response might have been more appropriate.

During the reflections. lack of time recurred as a factor that

influenced their behavior when parenting. For instance. this parent's

statement: "I find myself telling Jennifer 'No' because it is 5:00 and

I have spent a whole day at school and I have this much patience. I

69

simply can't tolerate it which is a shame." Another parent responded.
"Time and pressures are too great and sometimes you simply can't do
what you want to do." Another parent recognized the ideal condition
yet acknowledged what reality did involve as she said. "Nobody wants
any demands placed on them. Everybody wants their own time and space.
However. all of us feel pressure we have to deal with." Another parent
described the effect that being late has on her behavior as she inter-
acts with her children: "I have a headache from being late. You are
rushed and you try to get your kids to move and they move even slower.
Then you end up yelling at them which upsets them."

Pressure from others or expectations set external to the
individual were apparent as a factor influencing parenting behavior.
As this parent tried to meet the unspoken expectations her sister-in-
law had set. she discovered she was changing the expectations she had
set for her own children. "There is always a normal amount of clutter
in our house that never bothers me. But when I go to my sister-in-
law's house. everything is so neat and perfect. Although she never
says anything. I find myself constantly nagging the kids to sit still
so they won't break anything or to put the toys right away so every-
thing stays so neat."

Sometimes the pressure is much more direct. as this parent
experienced. "What if you walk into a house and somebody you've never
seen before starts threatening your child and making demands of him? I
went to a party one time and met someone who said. 'I'm so-and-so's

mean aunt. Hi. Bernie. how are you? Come over here so I can spank

70

you.' She then criticized me for letting my son stay up so late."
Although this parent's behavior was not affected. she did begin to
question her judgment in bringing the child to the party.

Sometimes the source of pressure comes from the family itself
as members of the family place expectations on the one parenting. One
mother felt the entire responsibility for parenting as her husband
didn't see that as his role. She stated. "My husband told me one time.
'I'm not the babysitter. you are' No arguments. discussion. that was
it—-he didn't want to bother with the kids." As a result. this mother
felt alone and more insecure in her capability to parent since she had
no one to share the responsibility. Another mother stated. "My
children's expectation of me is unreal. I feel. No matter how many
things I did. they would still come up with 'Let's do this.' No
thanks for doing the things that went before" It would seem that
this parent felt the pressure to meet the expectations set by her
children; however. at the same time. she seemed to question the
desirability of doing that.

Another parent experienced conflict between her parenting style
and that of her husband. "Father wants to overprotect. I allow them
to make mistakes and get over them. He'd like to isolate them."
Another parent contributed this response to the problem: "You have to
find the pl ace where you can work together and start from there. It is
a slow process."

A third source of expectations came from the job the parents

held. One mother expressed it this way: "The next few weeks in my job

71

will be extremely busy. lots of deadlines to meet. So often we take it
out on our children and they think the way you feel is their faultJ'
This mother did perceive that meeting one set of expectations (job)
affected her behavior in interacting with her children in a negative
way. Expectations to return to the job after a baby has been born also
directly affect the mother. One mother stated. "How many women have
you known that have gone back to work just crying because they were at
the point where they were going to lose their job or they had to make
this choice when they werentt ready to leave that child? I have two or
three friends who have gone through that." Most mothers are aware of
the importance of the first year of life; however. they are forced to
leave or be apart from the child because of job restrictions.

Since society provides the larger context that families live
in. parenting could be affected by forces that exist in society.
Several parents identified television as a factor that was influencing
their children. One mother expressed: "At the end of about four hours
(T.V.). she is so hyped. so wired because it's too much. I wonder what
it's doing to her." Another parent perceived the import or relation-
ship more clearly as she stated. "I find myself getting real frustrated
with her sometimes wanting to be terribly feminine and girlish and
thinking that she is picking this all up from television. cartoons. and
too many really funny women's roles." School serves as another factor
for both the parent and the child to cope with. As school's expecta-
tions for the child might differ from those of the parent. conflict

arises. needing to be resolved. One parent shared a teacher comment

72

about her son. which stated that the child should be more compliant and
normally active. The mother's reaction was. "It bothers me--why does
my son have to be more compliant? How has that teacher arrived at her
concept of normal? Instead of looking at the person. that teacher is
looking at the behavior." Clearly this mother felt the pressure to
meet some concept of "normal"; however. she preferred to recognize her
child as an individual.

Another source of pressure or expectation that is even more
insidious is the influence that "society" exerts on the shaping of
attitudes. Despite the atmosphere and conditions that the parents
create in their own homes. their children continue to be affected by
outside forces. One mother provided this example: "It is still
obvious in our society. you know. the difference in roles for girls and
boys. As far as I'm concerned. there's no defined roles in our home as
my husband and I do a lot of the same things. Yet Erin will come home
from school and say. 'Boys can do more things than girls and have more
fun than girls." One father felt the pressure directly as he stated.
"I have the opposite problem. the opposite extreme. It's difficult to
deal with. the stereotype for men and women. I have to deal with the
relatives and peers who ask why aren"t I supporting the family instead
of the woman. Why am I spending the time with the children?" This
father felt strongly that his role should include nurturing his
children and investing of himself rather than just materialistically

providing for them.

73

This influence on males begins very early as this situation at
the day care indicates. One teacher related that "word had gotten
around that little boys don't cry. Anyway it happened today. remember
I told you he just cried and he was all upset. All of a sudden I saw
him under the table and the lip was here and a tear was in the eye and
nothing would come out and he said. 'Big boys donFt cryJ" Although
the teacher and the child had discussed the importance of expressing
your feelings. clearly other factors were at work.

In summary. parents related that certain factors. at times.
shaped their behavior in relation to parenting. Lack of time.
expectations from others including children or spouse. and job
expectations were immediate and specific sources of conflict. The
influence of television. school as an environment for the child. and
values inherent in society. for example. sex-role stereotyping.
provided a more subtle influence but had an equally profound effect on

parenting styles.

W
What evidence was expressed by the participants that they felt
insecurities concerning the social and emotional growth of
their children in a complex world?
It is important to report that it is the soci al-emotional
aspect of the child's growth that concerned this group of parents the
most. A thorough examination of the transcripts indicated no conversa-

tion or remarks that discussed the physical dimension of caring for

their children. Then they responded with statements such as "tall for

74

her age. healthy. and I think very pretty" or "he is short for his age
but fast on his feet."

That parents felt most concerned about this area of growth was
also evident in the responses to the second question of the open-ended
survey conducted as a pretest. The question asked. "As a parent. what
concerns you most about raising your child?" One parent clearly
recognized the challenge for the task as she stated. "That I can help
her to become a happy person (happy with herself). who has a sense of
responsibility to herself and her society." Another parent expressed a
similar concern. "That he is emotionally happy. physically healthy and
will be flexible enough to make all the adjustment necessary as he
grows up. Also that he may have many opportunities to learn and see
much while he grows and that he will not be subjected to boring days
with nothing to do." Another parent acknowledged the complexity of the
task for the child to become a member of society due to the present
condition of society. She responded. "The state that the world is in.
Hard to raise a child with so much garbage thrown at them. He can't
discern what is right or wrong. To help him be able to decide the
right to ask why." Another parent expressed insight into her child's
social and emotional development; however. she still requested more
information. Her response to the question was. "My concerns change as
he moves through different stages. He seems to work out those things
that I am concerned about with little or no interference from me. How
can I help him? What am I missing?" Another parent acknowledged the

importance of her parenting on the child's growth as she wrote. "That

75

he has a healthy respect for schools and adults. The first years of
life and school are so important because they will have impressions on
you for the rest of your life." One parent with a Down's Syndrome
child was most concerned about "the school I have to put her in."
Another parent answered the question just with a big question mark.
Again the absence of comments such as "to be successful." "to do well
in school." "to make specific career decisions" might also suggest that
the parents were more concerned about raising an emotionally healthy or
fully actualized person.

In a previously discussed question. parents' attitude toward
parenting in general was that they knew what to do; however. many
external factors or pressures had come to bear on them so they couldn't
act on their beliefs. From the responses to the open-ended surveys and
actual quotations from the transcripts. it seems that the concept of
helping children grow to be emotionally healthy adults was a specific
area where these parents felt they did need more information or knowl-
edge. This appeared to be an area where the cognitive component of a
parent's attitude might be inadequate.

In reviewing the transcripts. three of the six sessions focused
on the topic of expectations. Setting appropriate expectations was a
major concern. One mother openly stated. "I have a hard time placing
expectation because I'm so worried about doing what's best for them. I
can't say I know what's best." Another mother agreed with the first
one. while identifying the concern more specifically. She replied. "If

I don't put expectations on my child. then could it cause my child to

76

say that he just wants to satisfy himself for the moment. It won't
have given the child an inner driveJ' This parent believed that lack
of expectation would harm the child's future development. Another
parent questioned the placing of expectations that were too high. She
contributed that "we talk about real expectation for ourselves and then
face our children. We shouldn't set too high goals that you cannot
meet and then become frustrated and give up)‘ Another mother realized
the results of placing expectations that couldn't be met; however. she
responded by being over-protective. She stated. "I found myself
holding back because I wanted her to take those things I felt she could
handle. I expected her to fail but I didn't want her to risk failing.
I realize now that I want so badly to have her succeed that I'm afraid
to have her risk anythingJ' Is there a range to setting expectations
that encourage growth yet promote a feeling of competency on the
individual's part?

One mother related expectations to physical age as she asked.
'flfid like to talk about what you can expect from a child. at what age.
as far as taking care of their own belongings?" As discussion fol-
lowed. the participants had difficulty determining age levels because
of the unique growing process of each child. What seemed to be approp-
riate for one parent's child was not for another. Some parents even
related differences between siblings. where one child appeared capable
of handling certain expectations but the other sibling was not.

A specific expectation that concerned two of the parents was

the acceptance of responsibility by their children. One mother stated.

77

"I want him to know this did not just happen to him [he broke his lunch
box while waiting for the bus]. I want him to know that he caused the
action." This incident employed the same point. Another mother
reported. "As far as my two girls getting along. I will hear a big
smack and I ask. 'What happened. Amy?' Amy says that 'Susie ran into my
fist.'" Both parents were looking for more direction so they could
facilitate their children developing a sense of responsibility.

Another specific expectation involved limiting a child. One mother
remarked. "My kids are conscious of developing how they feel or what's
going on inside them. Both are sel f-driving and there's a need to
temper that sel f-drive. Should we put limits on the child's drive? So
they mind but I don't know what minding means." Is there a difference
between individual 5' expectations for themselves and the expectations
for themselves and the expectation that society places? The entire
last session dealt with this question as the participants focused on
sex-role stereotyping as expectations forced on the individual from
society. In the previous question in this chapter. examples of that
were listed.

True growth of the individual and the setting of self-
expectations became a focus for discussion. One mother revealed that
"As I grew up. I ful filled the expectations but there came a problem
when no one was setting them for me and I didn't know how to deal with
that--being a mother. I didn't know how to come from within and I had

to develop that." This mother recognized that the true source of

78

expectations should be internal; however. she wasn't sure how to
develop that in her child.

Good self-esteem was identified as a goal for children by the
parent group. However. there was some doubt concerning its definition.
When asked. "What do you mean by self-esteem?" the responses varied.
One parent stated. "Self-esteem means you have to be able to trust.
live in a safe environment." Another remarked. "Self esteem involves
an ability or feeling of being able to give to your environment as well
as take from it. You have to feel it's all right to give." A third
person responded. "va a need--that somebody needs what you have to
offer." The facilitator then asked. "How do we make children aware
it is OK to give or they have something to give?" The group responded
by stating. "Show approval. Tell them. Show appreciation. Give a
hug or kiss-~praise."

Factors affecting or influencing self-esteem were discussed.
One parent shared a comment from her older child's report card. The
teacher had remarked that the child should be more compliant and nor-
mally active. The mother was concerned as her son was usually quiet
and reserved. She asked how that comment would affect her son's sel f-
esteem. .As the group discussed it. someone suggested. "It gives him
something to live up to now." Another parent wanted "normal" defined.
How did teachers or parents arrive at normal?

In summary. parents might feel rel atively comfortable regarding
their parenting skills in most areas of their child's growth: however.

all the participants expressed some concern or insecurity in facilitating

79

the social and emotional growth of their children. The specific
concerns of this group with regard to emotional development centered on
the setting of expectations. acceptance of responsibility. and being
flexible and well-adjusted as an adult. As information about the
growth process was presented. the participants began to perceive a
process that integrated the specific concerns mentioned. It provided
an approach for viewing a problem rather than a set of techniques to be

applied.

Question;
What evidence was expressed by the participants that the group

discussion related to the day care center contributed to

parents examining and growing in their competency in parenting?

One dimension of the discussion group approach was that it
involved all the components of the parent's attitude. Parents were
able to absorb new information about growth and development in a manner
that was available to them through written material. However. the
style might have been too difficult to understand. the information
might have been conflicting, or the parents were unable to apply gen-
eral principles to their particular situation. One parent expressed it
in this manner: "I think the word 'parent' has a connotation that we
put on it. 'Parent' means something. When I was going to be a mother
for the first time. I read books and books and became frustrated
because of all the different things they were telling me. Finally I
threw everything out." Another parent in the last session stated.

"This group has really helped me because it dealt with my concerns. my

problems. not just children in generalJ' A.third parent stated.

80

"Expectations make more sense now. I didn't realize how the different
pieces came together." A discussion group format might be beneficial
since the facilitator can provide the specific information needed. in
clear terms. and help the parents apply the general principles.

Another dimension was the emotional support the group provided
for each member. Specific problems or concerns were discussed. Some
were previously mentioned. such as comments on a report card. getting
children to accept responsibility for picking up belongings. other
adults being critical of their parenting style. and the role of
grandparents. The reaction of the group to the problem was always one
of support. both emotional and informational. The following passages
from the transcripts provide a clear picture of this. The conversation
was about children taking care of their own belongings.

"My brother--they have just boxes full of toys. on the main
level. upstairs and downstairs and they can't play without dumping
everything out. I can see right to the bottom. And the whole floor is
covered and there's very little constructive play going on. Then they
have nothing to do. Once they've tired of the toys. they can't think
of anything else to do. Then they play with about two things. There's
too many to chose from."

"First thing. all the broken toys are thrown away. no matter
how much the kids like to play with them. they are not kept. Then they

have just a small box all over again. Every three months I do that."

81

"There's another thing you can do and that is to put a bunch of
them away where they can't play with them and then switch them. It's
like having new ones--they're special."

"I did that one time. I decided what was good for them to play
with."

"You have to let them make the decision. I made the decision
and broke his heart because some of the neatest things he had were
thrown out and that wasn't fair."

"Jennifer has one piece of a puzzle that's been missing for
three years and one half of a baseball card; the other half is
somewhere in the house. I know the feeling because I hang on to all
these little bits and pieces of things thinking they're all going to
come together and they never do."

"I think I hear you say a couple things. Tell me if you think
they're important. Sometimes if kids have too many toys. it gets in
the way of how they play and what they play. Do we want to look at
play and how toys fit into play and maybe how we facilitate play in
children? From my standpoint. having too many toys becomes a problem
because those toys are so realistic. so specific. they lose a sense of
how to play. the lose their imagination. They are too exact in their
construction. This toy is a tank and it does just this thing. They
are not flexible in terms of demanding you to put into them. They're
here and all set and all you do is work it. As a consequence. then. we
get ti red of that specific thing. It does not have the flexibility to

become what you want it to. I just bought my son a toy truck and he's

82

spending all his time playing with the box. Why is he playing with the
box? Because he can do more with it than he can do with the truck.

You can look at something like bathtub toys. The kids can take a
couple of toys and you can do all kinds of things with them."

From this passage. there is evidence that parents were support-
ive of each other in sharing information to solve a problem. In addi-
tion. there is evidence that the group facilitator took advantage of
the problem to provide additional information about the concept of
play. ‘This information provided some~general principles that the
parent could apply in future situations in terms that were meaningful
to the group.

The preschool teachers as members of the group contributed in
several ways. First. they were also able to model responses or to make
specific suggestions for handling situations. One parent said. "How
much I can demand. as far as picking up after himself. I guess that is
the main thing that I have a hard time with right now."

The teacher responded. "We also have difficulty with children
here. in getting children to pick things up. If you can make a game
out of it. they're right there and they'll fight to get in on it. just
like Tom Sawyer wanted the other kids to paint the fence with himJ'

The other teacher contributed. "Sometimes if you work with them just to
get them started. they can finish by themselves. Sometimes children see
the task as so overwhelming that they.just need to know they have some
supportfl Another particular situation involved a parent concerned

about a remark from their other child's teacher. The preschool teacher

83

was able to offer some insight into how a teacher might define "nor-
mal." At the same time. her remarks reflected a growth orientation.
She responded. "Most people just think 'normal' is what the majority of
kids can do at one time. However. 'normal' for one child might not be
the same for another. If Brad is normally quiet. you wouldn't expect
him to be very talkative."

Second. the teachers were able to provide a sense of continuity
as experiences from the day care. situations at home. and comments from
the group discussion were related and set the stage for future growth.
Third. the teachers were better able to illustrate certain points being
made by describing specific examples from the day care. One example
mentioned in a previous question described a little boy afraid to cry
because big boys don't cry. as the parents were discussing sex-role
stereotyping. When discussing a sense of humor and good sel f-esteem.
one teacher shared this: "A child will labor to build a pile of
blocks and they will come tumbling down and he will sort of laugh at
it. Look at what happened to me. But other children will be in tears
over the same thing. There are times when children do not know how to
feel about a situation and we let them know it is OK and we enjoy it
and then they can laugh. It helps to choose what emotion to feel at
that time." When discussing expectations. the teacher remarked. "The
expectations I have at the center--do not hurt each other. yourselves.
animals. I'm concerned if I'm challenging them enough." Clearly the
teacher was also growing in her knowledge. The other teacher

contributed this example when discussing expectations: "A child was

84

determined to get the blocks to the ceiling. He tried and tried. but
they kept falling down. Finally he called another kid over to help.
The child was driven inside to succeed. Sometimes kids place expecta-
tions on themselves)‘

An additional contribution was that the preschool teachers had
more time to share their perceptions of the children in the day care
center with the parents. Parents then began to develop different per-
spectives of their children as they saw how others perceived them. A
realization then developed that a child can shift or change behavior
depending on the appropriateness of the situation. The teacher
commented. "You know. Ben has a very mature way of relating to other
children. He is always willing to help another child. especially the
younger ones. Sometimes it appears as if he is the big brother)‘ The
parent responded. "I'm surprised to hear that. At home he is the
youngest and sometimes seems so babyishJ' From this interchange the
parent broadened her concept or perception of her son as well as
realizing that her son was capable to changing behaviors to fit the
situation.

A final contribution was that as a result of participating in
the group discussions. parents spent more time visiting or observing in
the day care center. They asked more questions concerning their
child's development and invested more time in their child's education.
Upon interviewing the two teachers after the six sessions had been
completed. the teachers reported that seven of the nine parents stayed

to talk to the teacher about their child when picking up their children

85

on a regular basis. In addition. two of the nine parents volunteered
their time to work in the day care. which they had not done previously.
Possibly the parents felt more comfortable with the teachers by meeting
them in a situation outside school. In addition. the time was provided
to establish a relationship so that they felt freer to risk or ask
questions. The teachers' relationship with the preschoolers was also
enhanced as they gained additional insights into the parents. In the
posttest interview. one teacher commented. "I see some children so much
clearer after talking to the parents. I've been able to set better
expectations for them)‘

In summary. a group discussion model seemed to be appropriate
for influencing parents' attitudes. It involved the total person. all
three components of attitudes. It allowed flexibility for meeting the
needs of the group. It provided for individual differences or differ-
ences in specific areas of growth. The setting also allowed the
facilitator to model the growth process so that parents could "experi-
ence" it. The added dimension of the day care encouraged continuity to
the experience. The teachers were able to provide specific examples to
illustrate general principles of growth. model responses for parents.
and expand the parents' perception of their children. The atmosphere
of the day care reinforced the principles of growth and development
presented in the group. In effect. it served as a lab for the parents

who volunteered their time.

86

.Quostlon_s

What evidence was expressed by the participants that there is a

relationship between the growth process of the parent and that

of the child?

As the group discussed parenting. a recognition developed that
parents and children shared some needs in comnmnu One parent remarked.
"I think it depends on how you ask somebody to do something. We don't
like to have somebody saying go do that. I get resentful when somebody
says that and kids have the same feelings we haveJ' Another parent
stressed certain conditions of the growth process as she commented. "I
hope my child is better able to deal with defeat than I can. If you
are ever going to succeed. you have to risk."

Recognition of growth as a continuous process rather than a
finished product was revealed in this statement: "It is important that
children recognize we are less than perfect. I grew up as an adult
thinking I had to be perfect all the time." Another parent reflected
that her needs or moods affect her child with this quotation: 'fi
noticed my kids treat me the way I treat them. If I lose my temper
during the morning hours. it haunts me all day long in the way she
treats me. My child seems to need me more. If I am in a good mood.
she is in a good mood all day long. I see this in my children all the
time."

The parents in the group seemed to be identifying common aspects
of growth for themselves and their children. Another dimension to the
issue of growth that concerned parents or affected than was their dual

role of parents to their own children and as a child to their parents.

87

The change in perceptions as the parent expands his role was mentioned
in this quotation: "Now I know what my mother went through. now I can
see how she felt and I remember how I felt as a child." By reflecting
on past experiences. this parent gained more insight into her child;
however. that was not true of all members of the group. One parent
responded. "That might overwhelm you. though. If I think of how she
feels. I was an unhappy child and if I think she feels that same pain.
I don't know who to go for. the parent or the child." Another member
of the group also expressed doubt concerning past parenting experiences
when she was a child. She stated. "My mother was very critical of me.
It seemed that I could never meet her expectations."

A third parent also responded. "I was afraid of her disap-
proval--a fear of her not liking me. But maybe I was also disappointed
in my mother. Maybe I disapproved of what she did." Perhaps the type
or quality of past parenting influences the person's willingness to
examine his own growth. Past parenting also seems to influence the
expectations that parents pl ace on their own children. One parent
stated. "My dad never made it to college. but. by gosh. his kids were
going to make it." Another parent also remarked. "You know. my best
friend almost made Homecoming Queen in high school and now she seems
so determined that her daughter will be next year's queen.

Another factor that appeared to be affecting the relationship
between the growth process of the parent and that of the child was the
recognition of different stages or places in the process. Sometimes it

might be the particular stage of development that the child is in that

88

will determine if there will be a conflict or not. A mother illus-
trated that point with this example: Alennifer is happy about going to
college with me. The older one. though. sees me as a rival. I am doing
the same type of thing that she is doing and she thinks I should be
focusing on her activities instead of my ownJ' The stage of develop-
ment of the child determined the reaction to the mother's growth
activities. In addition to the recognition of different stages of
development. there was some>concern expressed if the parent could
change fast enough to keep pace with the chilcfls changing stages. One
mother shared that in this example: "My husband insists that Brad is
too young to take the training wheels off his bike. even though Brad
really wants to. Sometimes it seems as if he thinks Brad is still
three rather than almost fiveJ' Perceptions of the child sometimes do
not change as readily as the child's actual growth. Although the
parent might recognize different stages of development. he might not
recognize how the uniqueness of each child will affect this process.

An example of this was provided by a mother discussing how her second
child responded to her. The first child was very open. warm. and
loving while the second child had tantrums. attacked things at home.
and was generally hard to handle. She commented. "When he was first
born. I expected him to be just like his older brother. Right from the
start. though. he was different and it hasn't stopped." This provoked
additional discussion concerning the individual differences in chil-
dren. One comment was. "Comparisons could be good but they can be bad.

The kids start to compare each other then and someone always ends up

89

feeling bad." Another parent remarked. "You know I find aggressive
children harder to deal with than passive children." This parent
seemed to be saying that some differences are better than others.

Some parents expressed a concern or recognized that conditions
or situations conducive to their child's growth might be in conflict
with their own needs. One parent stated. "I have a seven-year-old who
likes to sleep with me. Is it O.K. for me to have one night where she
isn't in bed with me?" This parent sensed a need to balance her needs
and those of her child as she perceived that they might be in conflict.
Another mother also recognized the conflict when she stated. "I know
it's good for kids to play with pets and pans. It's good for growth
and development for them to explore. but it drives me crazy." A third
mother agreed. adding. "It's great to have them help you cook but the
times they most want to help are the times you least have the patience
and you really need a lot." Conflict also occurs in placing expecta-
tions. as this mother explained: "I expect my kids to fit into my
schedule and that's hard because at the same time. I expect them to fit
into my schedule. I put demands on them and sometimes they are
unreasonable demands. I have to go to school. This is something I
paid for--this is something I set for so that it means my kids have to
fit the schedule. And sometimes they would rather just sit around the
house and relax in the morning." As this mother pursued her own
growth. she experienced conflict as she recognized the effect it had on
her child's growth. Another mother shared that her need to have time

to herself wasn't always understood by her younger daughter. She

9O

commented. "Sometimes I just need five minutes to myself. I try then
to give the kids options where they can play together or alone." Iden-
tifying the source of conflict might be the first step in resolving it.

An additional relationship between the growth process of the
parent and that of the child involved a confusion over roles. At
times. some parents saw their child as an extension of themselves.
becoming confused over whose growth had occurred. One parent stated.
"We put a big investment in our children. We invest a lot of time and
our goals. our expectations of ourselves are placed on them because
they are our extensionsJ' Since this parent viewed her child as an
outgrowth of herself. she would have difficulty differentiating her
growth from that of the child. Sometimes it is the child who supports
the growth process of the parent. rather than just the parent always
supporting the child. When discussing how to develop responsibility in
children. one parent had these insights: "A lot of what we're doing
now is we're asking them to do something for us. what we're focused
on." Another parent responded by saying. "I think that's what we are
asking our kids to do. organize some of our stuff and theirs. too." A
previous quotation discussing how the child has to fit into the par-
ent's schedule when that parent returns to school also supports this
point. It would seem that through supporting the growth process of the
parent the child grows also.

In summary. several dimensions appeared when discussing the
relationship between the growth process of the parent and that of the

child. First. there was a recognition of the similarity of needs or

91

aspects for growth for both populations. Second. at times how the
parent had been parented seemed to influence current parenting. 0r
possibly it even influenced the parents'*willingness to examine their
own parenting style. Third. the stage of development of the child and
of the parent was a possible factor in determining if there would be
conflict between the two. In addition. the uniqueness of each indi-
vidual influences the relationship and the process of development so
that one must be careful when placing expectations. Fourth. sometimes
the growth process of the parent does create conflict in the relation-
ship. Fifth. there is a mutual aspect in this relationship that occurs
when the child becomes an active supporter of the parent's growth

process.

Question:

What evidence was expressed by the participants that the pro-
cess of parenting provides within its own context suitable
opportunity for the renewal and growth of the parent as a human
being?

In the previous question. the growth of the parent and that of
the child was discussed to explore the dimensions of that relationship.
One dimension emerged. parenting as a source of self-renewal. which
might merit further investigation.

As the parents recognized growth in their child. they experi-
enced a joy or happiness that served to renew them. On the open-ended
surveys. parents were asked to describe when they felt the happiest as

a parent. Responses included such comments as: "A5 I watch things

click [problems being 501 vedl" or "I can remember at around nine months

92

or so when she could really begin to cuddle on her own. feeling a real
sense of overwhelming joyJ' "When my little handicapped daughter spoke
to me in a whole sentenceJ‘ "When he is proud to show me'something he
has learned or discovered something and involves me in his conversa-
tions." Parents could identify joyous moments as they watched their
children grow. Later in the transcripts. several quotations emerged as
parents identified that joy as a source of renewal for their own lives.
One parent stated. "When I really see my daughter growing. it makes
everything worthwhilefl' Another parent remarked. "The happiness that
you get from your kids is what keeps you going even though the things
around you are in such a messJ' The very moment of birth. five of the
nine parents identified on the surveys as one of their happiest
moments. Yet it was at this time that parents also expressed the
realization of how much the birth of the child signified change in the
pattern of their lives.

It is the issue of change that parents also perceived as a
source of growth. As the child moves from infant to toddler to
preschooler and so on. it is the child's growth and need for different
sorts of experiences that forces the parent to change his perceptions
and outlook. ‘The parent adjusts his life to meet the changing needs of
the child. One parent stated. "By the time I get used to one stage and
think I've learned about that stage. she's moved on to the next."
Another parent commented. "They grow so fast. it's hard to keep up with

them)‘ 11:15 the constant change. especially as parents have more than

93

one child at varying stages. that prohibits the development of ruts or
static lifestyles.

Another aspect of parenting that helps adults to grow is the
role of play. Sometimes as the parents shared in their child's play.
they experienced the same joy and pleasures that the child did. In
fact. the parent sometimes used the child as an excuse to do the things
that were missing in the parent's childhood. One parent related these
comments on the open-ended surveys. When asked to describe when they
felt happiest as a parent. the parent responded. "When I'm playing with
my children. 'Taking trips to the zoos. parks. or farms where animals
are. Enjoying thee adventures with them." Getting ready for holidays
was another example that the parents discussed.

One parent stated that "getting the kids excited about Easter
was probably more fun for me than for the kids. It is O.K. to cele-
brate a holiday for the children's sake." Even as adults. the magic of
holidays generates a joy that renews them and encourages growth as they
seek new ways to celebrate.

Another form of joy for parents is the unconditional love that
a baby gives his parents. A parent on the open-ended survey said. "I
can remember at around nine months or so when she could really begin to
cuddle on her own. feeling a real sense of overwhelming joyJ' It is
this unconditional response to the parents as the baby smiles. coos.
and gurgles that triggers a feeling of joy and happiness. Again.
this joy renews them in the task of parenthood. especially through

the difficult times. Some babies. for various reasons. do not

94

automatically smile and coo. They tend to cry more. to be fussier and
harder to handle. They do not automatically trigger warm and loving
responses from the parent. One parent shared these comments in the
discussion group: "My first child was really a colicky baby. It was
just terrible. I didn't think I was going to make it as a parent at
all)‘ The absence or lack of this unconditional love made the job of
parenting much more difficult. One parent also commented. "There is a
world of difference between a good baby and a colicky baby. It either
makes you feel super as a parent or a real flop." Unconditional love
by the child. then. provides a stimulus for growth and renewal for the

parent.

Wm
W

The first subtest of the Parent Acceptance Scale. Feelings and
Respect. was examined. This subtest measured the parent's acceptance
of the child's feelings and the parent's respect for the child's need
to express those feelings. The data are presented in Table 1. As can
be seen from the data. the calculation of the A-test revealed that
there was no significant difference.

The second subtest of the Parent Acceptance Scale. Uniqueness.
was then examined. This subtest measured the parent's acceptance of
the unique make-up of the child. In Table 2. the data from the pre-
and posttest measurements are compared. When examining Table 2. the

calculation of the A-test did reveal a significant difference.

95

Table l.--Parent Acceptance Scale: Feelings and Respect subtest.

 

Subject

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

 

 

Pretest 23 35 37 43 30 33 33 23 42
Posttest 25 28 40 43 40 35 37 29 40
A = 0.685 df = 8 Criterion for .05 = .278

Table 2.--Parent Acceptance Scale: Uniqueness subtest.

 

Subject
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

 

 

Pretest 21 23 33 20 24 22 30 23 33
Posttest 21 26 32 24 22 30 36 27 31
A = 0.240 df = 8 Criterion for .05 = .278

The third subtest of the Parent Acceptance Scale. Autonomous
Individual. was investigated next. This subtest measured the parent's
acceptance of the child as an autonomous individual. The data are
presented in Table 3. The calculation of the A-test from the data
revealed no significant difference.

The last subtest of the Parent Acceptance Scale. Unconditional
Regard. was then considered. This subtest measured the parent's

unconditional love for the child. The data are presented in Table 4.

96

The calculation of the A-test from these data revealed no significant

difference.

Table 3.--Parent Acceptance Scale: Autonomous Individual subtest.

 

Subject
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

 

 

Pretest 42 42 45 47 38 46 46 36 46
Posttest 47 42 41 46 39 49 48 40 44
A = 0.297 df = 8 Criterion for .05 = .278

Table 4.--Parent Acceptance Scale: Unconditional Regard subtest.

 

Subject
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

 

 

Pretest 34 17 32 32 28 27 36 36 20
Posttest 34 22 30 32 34 26 38 40 20
A = 0.439 df = 8 Criterion for .05 = .278

The Parent Acceptance Scale also yielded a total score. which
is a reflection of the composite scores of all the subtests. The data
are examined in Table 5 to determine the presence of a significant

difference in order to support Hypothesis 1. which is as follows:

97

.flypgtnesis_1: Parents who have participated in the parent
discussion group will show attitudinal changes in their acceptance
of the child.

An application of the A-test to the data indicated that no

significant difference was to be found.

Table 5.--Parent Acceptance Scale: Total.

 

Subject

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

 

 

Pretest 120 117 147 142 120 128 145 118 135
Posttest 127 118 143 145 141 140 159 136 135
A = 0.279 df = 8 Criterion for .05 = .278

EarontJLLIoasnoLInxontom
The first subtest of the Parent As A Teacher Inventory. Frus-

tration. was examined. This subtest measured the parent's frustration
related to child rearing and the locus of the frustration. The data
are displayed in Table 6. An application of the A-test to the data
presented yielded no significant difference between the pre- and post-
test results.

The second subtest of the Parent As A Teacher Inventory.
Creativity. was then examined. This subtest measured the parent's
acceptance of creative functioning in the child and the parent's desire
to encourage or suppress its development. The data are presented in

Table 7. As can be seen from the data. the calculation of the A-test

98

revealed that there was no significant difference between the pre- and

posttest measurements.

Table 6.--Parent As A Teacher Inventory: Frustration subtest.

 

Subject

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

 

 

Pretest 28 28 29 29 25 25 27 25 34
Posttest 33 26 35 29 29 25 31 22 34
A = 0.541 df = 8 Criterion for .05 = .278

Table 7.--Parent As A Teacher Inventory: Creativity subtest.

 

Subject
1 2 3 4 s 5 7 a 9

 

 

Pretest 32 30 30 27 26 29 28 27 32
Posttest 33 29 36 27 29 26 31 25 34
A = 0.901 df = 8 Criterion for .05 = .278

The next subtest of the Parent As A Teacher Inventory. Control.
was examined. This subtest measured the parent's acceptance of need

for control over the child. The data are presented in Table 8. An

99

application of the A-test to the data revealed that there was no

significant difference between pre— and posttest measurements.

Table 8.--Parent As A Teacher Inventory: Control subtest.

 

Subject
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

 

 

Pretest 27 26 30 27 27 32 27 27 34
Posttest 24 23 34 27 29 29 28 24 35
A = 3.625 df = 8 Criterion for .05 = .278

The next subtest of the Parent As A Teacher Inventory. Play.
was also investigated. This subtest measured the parent's acceptance
and understanding of the importance of play in the chilcPs develop-
ment. The data from the pre— and posttest measurements are presented
in Table 9. An application of the A-test to the data revealed no

significant difference.

Table 9.--Parent As A Teacher Inventory: Play subtest.

 

Subject
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

 

 

Pretest 31 29 28 29 31 32 30 26 33
Posttest 28 29 32 29 33 32 33 27 33
A = 0.796 df = 8 Criterion for .05 = .278

100

The last subtest of the Parent As A Teacher Inventory. Teacher.
was then examined. This subtest measured the parent's acceptance of
his role as a teacher of his child. The data from the pre— and post-
test measurements are presented in Table‘NL The calculation of the A—
test from the pre- and posttest measurements revealed that there was no

significant difference.

Table lO.--Parent As A Teacher Inventory: Teacher subtest.

 

Subject

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

 

 

Pretest 33 30 34 33 33 33 32 29 30
Posttest 28 30 39 33 35 32 35 28 37
A = 1.140 df = 8 Criterion for .05 = .278

The Parent As A Teacher Inventory also yielded a total score.
which was a composite of all the subtests. In Table 11 the data are
examined to determine the presence of a significant difference to
support Hypothesis 2. which states:

W: Parents who have participated in the parent

discussion group will show selfbperception changes in their

perception of their role as facilitator of their child's growth.
An application of the A-test to the data revealed that there was no

significant difference.

101

Table ll.--Parent As A Teacher Inventory: Total.

 

Subject

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

 

 

Pretest 151 143 151 145 142 151 144 134 163
Posttest 146 137 176 145 155 144 158 126 173
A = 0.975 df = 8 Criterion for .05 = .278

A summary of the results of the A-tests for the Parent
Acceptance Scale scores is presented in Table 12. In this summary. it
can be seen that only the Uniqueness subtest was determined to be

significant.

Table 12.--Summary. Parent Acceptance Scale.

 

 

Subtest ArValue Significance
Feelings and Respect 0.685 no
Uniqueness 0.240 yes
Autonomous Individual 0.297 no
Unconditional Regard 0.439 no
Tetal 0.279 no

 

A summary of the results of the A-tests for the Parent As A
Teacher scores is presented in Table 13. It can be seen that none of

the results was significant.

102

Table 13.--Summary. Parent As A Teacher Inventory.

 

 

Subtest A-Value Significance
Frustration 0.541 no
Creativity 0.901 no
Control 3.625 no
Play 0.796 no
Teacher 1.140 no
Total 0.975 no

 

In summary. this section gave the results of the Parent
Acceptance Scale. which measured the parents' acceptance of their
children. and the Parent As A Teacher Inventory. which measured the
parents' perceptions of their role as facilitators and supporters of
their children's growth.

The hypotheses stated that there would be a change in parents'
attitudes as a result of participation in a group-centered problem-
solving discussion group run in conjunction with an experiential day
care center. Application of an A-test yielded no significant differ-
ence in the total scores of the pre- and posttest measurements of the
Parent Acceptance Scale and the Parent As A Teacher Inventory. There-
fore. on the basis of the total test scores measurement. neither
hypothesis warranted support. However. one subtest on the Parent

Acceptance Scale yielded a significant difference in pre- and posttest

103

scores. That subtest. Uniqueness. measured the parent's acceptance of
the child's uniqueness. This significant difference would stand in

support of Hypothesis 1.

Summon!

In this chapter were reported the findings of the analysis of
the data derived from this study relating to the following two
questions:

1. What is the relationship between parental participation in
problem-solving discussion groups related to the day care experience
and parents' attitudes of acceptance of their children?

2. What is the relationship between such participation in
problem-solving discussion groups related to the day care experience
and the parents' perceptions of their role as a supporter or facili-
tator of the growth endeavors of their children?

A pretest/posttest format was used to test the following

hypotheses:

.flypgtnes1s_l: Parents who have participated in the parent

discussion group will show attitudinal changes in their acceptance

of the child.

.Hypotnesjs_2: Parents who have participated in the parent

discussion group will show self-perception changes in their

perception of their role as facilitator of their child's growth.

Data analysis using an A-test yielded no significant difference

at the .05 level between pre- and posttest results for total test
scores on the Parent Acceptance Scale. The data therefore did not

support Hypothesis 1.

104

One subtest of the Parent Acceptance Scale. Uniqueness. did
yield a significant difference at the .05 level between pre- and
posttest results. This subtest. which measures parents' attitudes of
acceptance of the uniqueness of their children. therefore stands in
partial support of Hypothesis 1.

Data analysis using an A-test yielded no significant difference
at the .05 level between pre- and posttest results for total test
scores for the Parent As A Teacher Inventory. The data therefore did
not support Hypothesis 2.

Data analysis was carried out at yet another level. Using five
constructs stated in the form of questions. the pre— and posttest open-
ended questionnaires and the dialogue from the discussion group ses-
sions were analyzed to determine if there were sufficient data to
support the constructs. The five questions stated were:

1. What evidence was expressed by the participants that at times
external factors influenced the way in which they parented even
though it was in conflict with their personal belief system?

2. What evidence was expressed by the participants that they felt
insecurities concerning the social and emotional growth of
their children in a complex world?

3. What evidence was expressed by the participants that the group
discussion related to the day care center contributed to
parents examining and growing in their competency in parenting?

4. What evidence was expressed by the participants that there is a
relationship between the growth process of the parent and that
of the child?

5. What evidence was expressed by the participants that the pro-
cess of parenting provides within its own context suitable

opportunity for the renewal and growth of the parent as a human
being?

105

The analysis of the open-ended questions and the dialogue of
the discussion groups yielded sufficient data to warrant the following
assertions:

1. Parents experienced external factors that influenced the
way in which they parented. even though it was in conflict with their
personal belief system.

Parents related that certain factors. at times. shaped their
behavior in relation to parenting. Lack of time. expectations from
others including children or spouse. and job expectations were imme—
diate and specific sources of conflicts. The influence of television.
school as an environment for the child. and values inherent in society.
for example. sex-role stereotyping. provided a more subtle influence
but had an equally profound effect on parenting styles.

2. Parents expressed insecurities concerning the social and
emotional growth of their children in a complex world.

Parents might feel relatively comfortable regarding their
parenting skills in most areas of their child's growth; however. all
the participants expressed some concern or insecurity in facilitating
the social and emotional growth of their children. The specific
concerns of this group centered on the setting of expectations.
acceptance of responsibility. and being flexible and well adjusted as
an adult. As information about the growth process was presented. the
participants began to perceive a process that integrated the specific
concerns mentioned. It provided an approach for viewing a problem

rather than a set of techniques to be applied.

106

3. Through the group discussion related to the day care
experience. parents examined and grew in their competency in parenting.

A group discussion model seemed tolbe appropriate for affecting
parents' attitudes. It allowed flexibility for meeting the needs of
the group. It provided for individual differences or differences in
specific areas of growth. The setting also allowed the facilitator to
model the growth process so that parents could "experience" it. The
added dimension of the day care encouraged continuity to the experi-
ence. ‘The teachers*were able to provide specific examples to illus-
trate general principles of growth. model responses for parents. and
expand the parents' perceptions of their children. The atmosphere of
the day care reinforced the principles of growth and development pre-
sented in the group. In effect. it served as a lab for the parents who
volunteered their time.

4. Parents perceived a relationship between the growth process
of the parent and that of the child.

Several dimensions appeared when discussing the relationship
between the growth process of the parent and that of the child. First.
there was a recognition of the similarity of needs or aspects for
growth for both populations. Second. at times how the parent had been
parented seemed to influence current parenting. 0r possibly. it even
influenced the parentsfi willingness to examine their parenting style.
Third. the stage of development of the child and of the parent was a
possible factor in determining if there would be conflict between the

two. In addition. the uniqueness of each individual influences the

107

relationship and the process of development so that one must be careful
when placing expectations. Fourth. sometimes the growth process of the
parent does create conflict in the relationship. Fifth. there is a
mutual aspect in this relationship that occurs when the child becomes
an active supporter of the parent's growth process.

5. Parenting provided within its own context suitable opportu-
nities for the renewal and growth of the parent as a human being.

Parenting might serve as a source of self-renewal for a variety
of reasons. As the parent recognized growth in his child. he experi-
enced a deep sense of joy that fulfilled the parent. Also. the dif-
ferent stages a child passes through (infant. toddler. preschooler. and
so on) stimulate the parent to change to be in tune with the child. In
addition. participating with their child in play provided the same
benefits of play for the parents as well as the child. Play then
becomes a source of self-renewal for the parent. Unconditional love by
the child for the parent also provides a source of love that fulfills
and renews the parent for the task of parenting. ‘This love stimulates
the parent to invest more deeply in the child. which in turn encourages
the parent to be renewed and become actual ized himself. Last. the
common bond of parenthood was a stimulus for discussion that promoted
or encouraged the parent to reflect on past experiences. This reflec-
tion stimulated the parent to change or explore new directions as he

gained different perspectives from the group.

CHAPTER V

SUMMARY AND REFLECTIONS

Introduction
In this chapter a summary of the study is presented. This is
followed by the writer's reflections on parenting and reflections on
public education in light of the study. Finally. the conclusions and

recommendations for further study are presented.

Symon

The purpose of the writer in this study was to examine what
relationship exists between parental participation in problem-solving
discussion groups and parents' attitudes of acceptance toward their
children and what relationship exists between such participation and
the parents' perception of their role as a supporter of the growth
endeavors of their children. The parent discussion groups were run in
conjunction with the child's participation in a day care that served
as an example of an experienti ally based program in which children's
growth was regarded in a holistic manner.

The discussion group consisted of nine parents who were
students at Saginaw Valley State College and whose children attended the

day care center. They participated in a discussion group. using a

108

109

conceptual framework of dynamic holistic growth. The group was
facilitated by the writer and the two day care teachers.

Two hypotheses were formulated which dealt with the attitudinal
change of the parents toward greater acceptance of their child and
greater self-perception changes toward their role as a facilitator of
their child's growth.

The Parent Acceptance Scale. the Parent As A Teacher Inventory.
and an open-ended questionnaire were administered on a pre- and posttest
basis.

A set of five constructs in question form was developed. which
was applied to the dialogue of the discussion groups and the responses
to the open-ended questionnaires to provide further analysis in an
effort to gain greater insight into the parenting process. The con-
structs dealt with parents' perception of the parenting process and the
social-emotional growth of their children as well as their perceptions
of parenting as an opportunity for self-renewal.

Even though the writer found no significant differences to
support the two hypotheses. one subtest. Uniqueness. from the Parent
Acceptance Scale was determined to be significant. Parents did show an
increase in their awareness of their child's uniqueness.

It is possible that several factors influenced the absence of
significant findings. First. it is possible that the attitude scales
were not sufficiently sensitive to detect changes in the parents'
attitudes. especially within the time period of the experiment.

Second. it is the writer's belief that some of the experiences and

110

insights gained from the experiment might not manifest themselves for
some time. Third. it is also feasible that. on the pretest. parents
responded to the questions in a manner they thought they should respond
rather than as a true reflection of their feelings. After participat-
ing in the group discussions. the parents might have come in closer
contact with their true feelings and responded on the posttest more
accurately. Last. the parenting process is complex and cannot be
easily reduced to simple constructs or measurements.

Through the analysis of the dialogue. sufficient supporting
data were identified to warrant the assertion of the five constructs.

1. Parents experienced external factors that influenced the
way in which they parented. even though it was in conflict with their
personal belief system.

2. Parents expressed insecurities concerning the social and
emotional growth of their children in a complex world.

3. Through the group discussion related to the day care
experience. parents examined and grew in their competency in parenting.

4. Parents perceived a relationship between the growth process
of the parent and that of the child.

5. Parenting provided within its own context suitable opportu-
nities for the renewal and growth of the parent as a human being.

Throughout the study. it was evident that parents perceived
their role as a parent as having a significant effect on their chil-

dren's development.

111

Boflmtjonuniacontino

An analysis of the previous questions and their responses
prompted several observations and comments. First. parenting is a
process whereby parents first feel it is safe and comfortable to exam-
ine their parenting attitudes and behaviors. As parents become more
aware of their parenting style. they make conscious decisions for
future parenting rather than just imitating how they were parented.

The process is a continuous one as parents are constantly reflecting
and examining their parenting style. For example. as children enter
new stages of development. parents need to adapt their behaviors to
cope with the new situations presented. Through this process. parents
also develop a perspective for their parenting as they consider exter-
nal factors such as time constraints. family and peer expectations. and
societal demands and values. As they deal with these factors. parents
learn to establish priorities. possibly rearranging items as needs
change. For instance. the parent might not explain a decision to a
child immediately because of time constraints. expecting the child just
to respond and not question. Rather than feeling guilty about a recog-
nized poor parenting behavior. the parent would accept the situation.
resolving to explain or discuss it with the child at a future time.

The parent's perspective might also be more longitudinal. realizing
that actions or behaviors consistent over a period of time will have a
greater effect on the child than isolated instances.

The parenting process also serves as a means to improve the

self-esteem of the parent. who can then improve the self-esteem of the

112

child. Coopersmith (1967) defined self-esteem as a "personal judgment
of worthiness that is expressed in the attitudes the individual holds
toward himself)‘ He also stated that persons with higher self-esteem
tend to assume an active role in social groups and to express their
views frequently and more effectively. They tend to move more directly
and realistically toward personal goals. Since they feel confident
that they can impose order on a segment of the universe. which is a
characteristic of creativity. they tend to approach life more
creatively. Coopersmith also stated that high self-esteem is not
related to wealth. education. social class. or parent's occupation.
Instead it comes from the quality of the relationships that exist
between the child and those who play a significant role in his life.
More important. Coopersmith reported that children whose parents have
low self-esteem tend to be less effective in their everyday functioning
and more apt to be submissive and withdrawn.

Briggs (1970) also reinforced the importance of developing high
self-esteem in children. Through work with many parent groups. she
identified a quality that most parents would want for their child. She
stated. "Self-esteem is the mainspring that sets every child for suc-
cess or failure as a human being)‘ She continued to state that most
parents know the general goals they want for their child: however. as
they experience the reality of life. they lose confidence as a parent
and question how to achieve it. As parents then examine their atti-
tudes about parenting and recognize the skills or strengths they do

possess. their self-esteem does improve or increase. With a more

113

positive or higher self-esteem. parents feel even more comfortable
parenting. growing in their relationship with their children.

Another dimension to the parenting process was its stimulus for
self-renewal for the parent. Gardner (1963) stated that what really
blocks self-development is the person's incapacity for sel f-renewal.
As people mature. they tend to narrow their interests and their
activities. The world tends to become ordinary. perceived in the same
manner all the time. Gardner even suggested that travel might be a
good stimulus for self-renewal since the person might be able to
"recapture in some measure the unspoiled awareness of children"

(p. 10). He continued to state that major changes such as marriage or
a move to a new city would break the pattern of life. revealing the
comfortable pattern that had been established. Becoming a parent would
then serve as a stimulus for self-renewal as the parent would have many
occasions to perceive the world through the eyes of his child.

What then prevents all people when they become parents from
becoming self-renewing persons? Possibly. the one characteristic of
the self-renewing process that Gardner described as self-knowledge is
the missing ingredient. The lack of reflection on the experiences that
parenting does provide might hinder self-renewal from occurring. The
group process described in this experiment did encourage parents to
explore their feelings and attitudes toward parenting. increasing the
self-knowledge the parent did possess. Other characteristics of a
self-renewing person would be willingness to risk failure. a capacity

to give and receive love. and the development of motivation or the

114

existence of deeply felt issues or concerns. Parenting then would
certainly provide a context or many opportunities for these character-
istics to expand or develop.

In addition. a self-renewing parent would develop the renewing
process in the child. Gardner stated.

If we indoctrinate the young person in an elaborate set of fixed

beliefs. we are insuring his early obsolescence. The alternative

is to develop skills. attitudes. habits of mind and the kinds of

knowledge and understanding that will be the instruments of contin-

uous change and growth on the part of the young person. (p. 25)
Since the parent would be aware of this process. his goals for the
child would be more consistent with the attitudes and habits that
Gardner described rather than a system of fixed beliefs.

Gardner did refer to parenting but only in a very narrow sense.
He perceived the setting of expectations or the lack of expectations as
an obstacle to developing motivation. The parenting process described
in this thesis is a broader process than just the setting of expecta-
tions.

The parents' reported experiences of joy serve as another
dimension to the question of what helps or hinders the self-renewal
process. As the transcripts were analyzed. it became clear from the
frequent comments that parents found in the joyful moments of parent-
hood a deep sense of personal self-renewal. One parent was previously
reported as saying. "When I see my daughter growing. it makes every-
thing worthwhile." Another said. "The happiness you get from your kids

is what keeps you going even though the things around you are in such a

mess." The happiness or joy in these sel f-reports was described as

115

giving parents the strength to keep going through the more dismal
periods. Parents also reported experiencing considerable pleasure and
joy from playing with their children. This was described as satisfac-
tion not only from the interaction with their children but also as a
situation that permitted them to engage in an activity that was self-
satisfying: play for the adult. Both joy and the satisfaction derived
from playfulness can. it seems. be strong factors in self-renewal.

As the individual grows. the context in which that occurs
needs to be investigated so as to promote and continue that growth.
In.EoLsonal_EowoL. Rogers (1977) described why a group-centered or
person-centered approach is most appropriate. He stated that in our
culture and in our institutions such as schools. the belief is that man
cannot be trusted--that he must be guided. instructed. rewarded. and
punished. Rogers' premise was that "the human being is basically a
trustworthy organism. capable of evaluating the outer and inner
situation. understanding himself in its context. making constructive
choices as the next steps in life and acting on those choices" (p. 15).
With this natural tendency to grow. the person will strive for growth
despite obstacles or problems that stand in the way. With this
premise. then. the approach to effecting change in parents' attitudes
also shifts. The psychological climate for growth becomes the focus.
with the power shifting to the person rather than the institutions.
Rogers also stated.

When this approach is made to an individual or a group. it is
discovered that. over time. the choices made. the directions

 

116

pursued. the actions taken are increasingly constructive personally
and tend toward a more realistic social harmony with others.
(p. 15)

The design for this study employed a group-process approach for
influencing or changing parents' attitudes. Although Rogers stated
that time is needed for this growth to occur. some of the dimensions
were observed in the group. First. this approach did allow the unique
and specific needs of the group to emerge. which then became~the agenda
for the group. Because these needs were more meaningful to the par-
ticipants rather than a formal agenda imposed on them. their responses
were meaningful and possibly more information was internalized. As the
participants felt more comfortable and shared more personal experi-
ences. they became a cohesive group that worked toward a common goal:
better understanding of parenting in order to help their children. A
support network then developed where members helped each other by
clarifying comments. identifying with a problem so that a parent didn't
feel alone. and by offering practical information or suggestions for
parenting. Since the day care teachers were also members of this
group. parents began to view them in a different perspective. Rather
than being perceived as "experts" or labeled. they became known as
individuals. which helped to develop a closer and more cooperative
relationship between the parent and the teacher. After the sessions
were completed. the day care teachers reported that several parents
spent more time visiting and participating in the day care than before

the experiment had begun. A true sense of community had developed

117

then. one where home and school worked cooperatively together for the
benefit of the child.

The writer has learned that after the conclusion of the
discussion group. the parents did meet with the day care teachers on
an informal basis. The day care teachers reported that the sessions
continued to serve as a forum for further discussion with the parents.
Parents. in their continuing discussions about their children and the
day care. would make references to topics that came up in the original
discussion group. and the teacher would further discuss and elaborate
on these topics.

If this study should be evaluated for success. its success
should most appropriately be judged in terms of whether it served as a
catalyst or vehicle for the ongoing growth of the parent. From the
preceding comments. there is.an indication that such an ongoing process
was initiated. The parents and day care teachers could use this shared
experience in the day care as a common ground or focal point to come
closer together and grow further.

Through participation in the group and the discussions involv-
ing growth and development. the development of the parent as a teacher
of the child also emerged. As parents acquired a better understanding
of growth and the complexity of the process. their perspective of their
child changed. With this more accurate or informed perception. the
parent because more effective in determining the needs of that child
and then providing for those needs. Also. as the parent would recog-

nize positive growth steps for the child. his satisfaction with the role

118

of parenting would increase. encouraging him to continue in that direc-
tion. With a broader perspective of human growth and development. the
parent would recognize all areas of development for the child and the
relationship between those areas. A view of the child as a whole or
total then would help the parent to be more effective in facilitating
the growth of that child. All needs of the child would be examined by
the parent. especially as the parent recognized the uniqueness of each
child. Greater clarity of those needs would also help the parent set
more appropriate goals for each child. With a better understanding of
human growth and more appropriate or more specific goals set. the
parent would be able to identify "teachable moments." thereby increas-
ing the child's understanding .of himself and his world. For instance.
the death of a pet might be viewed as a means to explain death to a
young child. The parent would keep in mind the development of the
child and what information would be appropriate at that point or what
the true needs would be as the parent dealt with the situation. As the
parent grows then or expands his development. he becomes more effective

in teaching or encouraging growth in his child.

W
What would happen if schools recognized the importance of
parents and the effectiveness of small groups to influence parents'
attitudes? What would happen if schools involved a majority of parents
in such groups on a continuing basis? Several things might occur.
First. school as a formafl institution would be recognizing the impor-

tance and effectiveness of a nonformal approach. There could be a

119

blend of nonformal and formal that would be beneficial for all
involved. Possibly. the role of the intermediate unit might change
from one of intervention to one of prevention. Rather than waiting for
problems to develop that then need to be corrected or remediated. the
intermediate unit would be encouraging the ongoing development of all
students. Support personnel such as school psychologists. social work-
ers. or speech therapists could be effectively trained to run groups as
part of their job descriptions. Another option might involve the
training of classroom teachers to increase their communication skills
and facility for understanding group dynamics. Classroom teachers then
could conduct groups with parents so that the parents would be more
effective teachers with their children as well. Possibly released time
could be arranged so that meetings would fit into the parents' sched-
ule.. Another option might be to have students attend class four and
one-half days while the teachers could be conducting the groups the
other half day.

School personnel could start to identify common elements or
concerns that ran through the groups perhaps for a particular building
or even the entire district. Since the groups would be based on prin-
ciples of human growth and development. it would certainly offer a very
strong foundation for a district's philosophy of education. As parents
became more knowledgeable. they would also become more sophisticated
concerning the questions they would address to the schooL. For exam-
ple. how does school become an integral part of the child's life? How

should school shape students or prepare them for the future? What is

120

knowledge. or as you are looking at the total child. how do you inte-
grate thinking about topics and how the child feels about those topics?
How would a school district respond to these questions from a group of
parents? How would a school district move from current educational
practices to create the type of environment necessary to facilitate
growth of students? Wouldn't growth of the entire staff also occur.
which would then continue the cycle of growth?

If such parent-school discussion groups did occur. school
personnel would certainly learn much more about the unique beauty and
strength of the parents and children in the community. Schools surely
would become very aware of diverse experiential backgrounds of the
families and would certainly as a result be much better able to plan
for the growth of the students.

Perhaps foremost of all is the very likely result that schools
and communities would form a much more intimate bond and partnership.
Parents would come'to see school personnel as truly concerned about the
parents' concerns. A trusting and open relationship could be developed
so that schools could become~many things for many different people.
Schools might become places to which people of all ages come as a

source of self-renewal.

Conclusions

Parent education should become an integral part of society.

The complexity of today's world necessitates that parents have an

121

understanding of human growth and development to serve as a guideline
when parenting.

1. Parent education should become a high priority in school
programs.

2. School personnel should develop the necessary skills in
order to facilitate the parents! growth and the growth of their
children.

3.‘ Society needs to develop a number of true support systems
for parents.

4. All people involved directly or indirectly in the parenting
process must practice the concept of positive support or unconditional

regard when relating to children.

ImolicotioanoLEuLtnoLJRssoaroh

The following represent questions and areas for further
research.

1. What are the effects on parenting as parents grow in their
feelings of control over their lives and their world?

2. What are the long-term effects participation in a problem-
solving discussion group can have on the parenting process of the
parent?

3. What is the relationship between the level of involvement
of the parent in planning and studying programs and the effect such
involvement can have on parenting?

4. What effect can a cross-section of parents have on the

parenting process of the group members?

122

5. To what extent and in what ways do external factors affect
the parenting process?

6. In what manner and to what extent can schools operate as a
support agency for parents?

7. What differences and similarities can be noted among
discussion groups that vary according to socioeconomic level. age. and
geographic location?

8. What differences and similarities can be noted among
matched pairs comparing mothers with fathers?

9. Can parent discussion groups be evolved among parents of
kindergarten children. using the public school program as a common
focus?

10. What effects do length of time and number of sessions have
on changes in parent attitudes and self-perceptions?

11. What is the relationship between external factors and a
parent's choice of parenting style?

12. In what ways does the growth of the child stimulate growth
in the parent?

13. In what ways does the experience of joy or happiness in the

parent-child relationship affect the renewal and growth of the parent?

APPENDICES

123

APPENDIX A

PARENT ACCEPTANCE SCALE

12h

125

PARENTAL ACCEPTANCE SCALE
by
Blaine R. Porter
Brigham Young University
INTRODUCTION
This scale was developed for the purpose of measuring parental

acceptance of children. It asks parents to rare themselves on a self-
invenrory type questionnaire according to the feelings they have and
the action they take in relationship to their child. The parents
respond by checking one of five multiple choice reaponses which follow
each of the 40 items. The object of the scale is to locate a parent on

a continuum ranging from low to high acceptance according to the degree

of acceptance which he has for his child.

AQMINISTRATION OF THE SCHEDULES

Although the form of the questionnaire is self-explanatory and
could be filled out in the home, the group procedure offers several
advantages: 1) the administrator has the opportunity to explain briefly,
the contribution which their cooperation will make, reassure them of

' so to speak, in an atmosphere which will

anonymity, and "set the stage,’
invite a minimum of sophistication. 2) It makes it possible to prevent
any collaboration between husbands and wives. 3) Individuals will feel
a certain amount of group pressure to finish in a minimum length of time,
rather than having several hours, if desired, to ponder the items and
responses at home.

If this schedule was administered in a home, by an interviewer,
most of the above points would be satisfied.

The following introductory remarks have been used by the author

before presenting groups with the schedules and are included here for

what they may be worth to subsequent administrators of this scale.

 

126

I come to you, not as an expert, but as a seeker of facts.
we are trying to learn more about parent-child relationships.

Many books and articles have been written which draw a
picture of the ideal parent as some super-human being who
probably never has or never will exist. We are not at all
sure that this is necessary or even desirable in order to rear
children who become happy, well adjusted adults; and who, at
the same time, are able to assume the responsibilities '
attached to citizenship in our comunities.

Some people today suggest that we are witnessing a
generation of moral decay, where graft and dishonesty are prev-
alent in the private and public lives of Americans; where crime
and delinquency rates greatly exceed the limits of respecta-
bility. The reason for this, these folks go on to say, is the
lack of proper discipline and guidance within the home. If
more rigid controls and discipline were enforced within the
home, we would have peOple with a higher degree of moral in-
tegrity; people who would have learned to respect the rights
of others.

On the other hand, some are suggesting that what we need
is more kindness and understanding; more freedom for children
to express themselves and to do as they would like.

In protest to this latter philosophy, one mother wrote
the following:

"I think current teaching on child-rearing tends to
alter the center of gravity of the home, making the
child the center, the king, and too often the tyrant.
Certainly, a child needs security and love, but I suspect
the definitions of these words have gone a little
astray. we should not eliminate consideration of other
members of the household. I see people who were the
recipients of love and tenderness, care and concern,
who were the center and delight of the home. And now,
grown and married, they will settle for nothing less.
They were never asked to give concern, or be considerate,
or enjoy seeing someone else succeed. So now they con-
sider the husband (or wife) cold and without under-
standing, and the children dull and unpleasant, because
they are not the center of a constantly admiring
audience. No, the loving tender care that makes the
child the center of the home is a dangerous preparation
for being an adult."

From the midst of this confusion came hundreds of requests
daily from parents to child specialists asking for suggestions
and principles that will help in the task of rearing their

 

l. O. Spurgeon English, "How Family Forces Affect the Individual."

BULLETIN OF THE HENNINGER CLINIC. 14:68. Cflarch, 1950)

127

children. Thousands of students throughout the nation, who

are eagerly anticipating marriage and parenthood, are enrolling
in courses in child development and family relationships with a
sincere desire to learn how to rear their children the best
possible way.

He must frankly admit that we don't really know the answers
to many of their questions. we have many theories and ideas
which are easily found in books and magazines. But facts are
desperately needed. You are the people who have the facts.

You are the people who are right in the middle of the experi-
ences of rearing children.

Our hope is that through your cooperation we may bring
together the facts in a meaningful and useful way. we would
like to be prepared when people ask questions, to speak with
greater confidence than we can now. we would like to be able
to say, "This study shows us . . .," rather than, "we think
this is it."

Your honesty and frankness will determine the value of
the study. Several hundred man-hours have gone into the prep-
aration of this questionnaire. It will take you only about
twenty or thirty minutes to fill it out, but you will determine
its. usefulness. ‘The major part of this questionnaire will
consist of statements which have 5 responses or answers follow—
ing each one. Some of the answers may be familiar to you as
something which you have read or heard that a parent should or
should not do. There is no right or wrong answer to these
questions. Please do not put down book answers or ideas you
have heard stated by a speaker if they do not represent your
true feelings or actions. Re have plenty of books and don't
want any more hook answers. You have the facts and we want to
find out how you really feel and what you really do.

You will note that the questionnaire does not call for

any mark of identification. Thus your answers, as well as the

many others, will be absolutely anonymous. Re are not inter-

ested in individual answers, but in how groups or large numbers
of parents respond to these statements. Your contribution to
the present and future parents of America will be very much
appreciated. regardless of how small or how great it may be.

It is suggested that the administrator read through the directions
with those about to fill out the schedule. It is important that the
subjects answer ill the questions.

It is very important that the parent understand that if he has

more than one child, he is to use only one as a point of reference for

his answers, and that he not be thinking of one child in some cases and

128

a different child in others. Therefore, care should be taken that the

parent clearly understands the instructions on page 2 of the schedule.

Some parents may remark that some of the questions are repeated.
It can be pointed out that in one case they are asked how they feel in
the situation and in the other case they are asked what they do..

SCORING OF THE SCALE

Responses to the items have been arbitrarily weighted from one to
five with one representing low acceptance and five representing high
acceptance. Attached is a scoring key with the weights listed as
numbers in front of the responses. The total acceptance score is the
sum or the numbers in front of the responses marked by the subject.
The possible range of scores is 40 to 200. The higher the total accep-
tance score, the more accepting the parent is of his child.

The acceptance scale involves four dimensions of acceptance. If
sub-scale scores are desired, the item numbers are listed below for the
respective dimensions.

A. An acceptant parent is one who regards his child as a person with
feelings and respects the child's right and need to express these
feelings.

Items: 11, 17, 19, 21, 23, 25, 29, 32, 35, 36.

B. An acceptant parent is one who values the unique make-up of his
child and does what he can to foster that uniqueness within the
limits of healthy personal and social adjustment.

Items:. 12, 13, 18, 22, 26, 27, 31, 33, 39, 40.

C. An acceptant parent is one who recognizes the child's need to
differentiate and separate himself from his parents; to become
an autonomous individual .

Items: 1‘, 15, 16, 20, 26, 28, 30, 3b, 37, 38.

D. An acceptant parent is one who loves his child unconditionally.
Items: l,_2, 3, 6, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

NOTE
It is recommended that anyone intending to use this scale first
read the article "Measurement of Parental Acceptance of Children,"

JOURNAL OF HOME ECONOMICS, Vol. 66, No. 3, March, 1954.

129

SCORING KEY FOR PARENTAL ACCEPTANCE SCALE

Responses to items 1 through 10 are scored with the following weights:

Huch more A little more The A little less Much less
than usual than usual same than usual than usual
1 - 3 5 3 1

Responses to items 11 through 60 are weighted as follows:

11. a. 3 16. a. l 21. a. l 26. a. 3 31. a. 1 36. a. l
b. 5 b. 5 b. 5 b. 5 b. 5 b. 5
c. l c. 6 c. 2 c. I c. 6 c. 2
d. 6 d. 3 d. 6 d. 6 d. 3 d. 6
e. 2 e. 2 e. 3 e. 2 e. 2 e. 3
12. a. l 17. a. 2 22. a. 3 27. e. 1 32. a. 2 37. a. 3
b. 2 b. 1 b. 1 b. 2 b. 1 b. l
c. 3 .c. 5 c. 5 c. 3 c. 5 c. 5
d. 6 d. 6 d. 2 d. 6 d. 6 d. 2
e. 5 e. 3 e. 6 e. S e. 3 e. 6
13. a. s 18. a. 3 23. a. I. 28. a.‘ s 33. a. 3 3a. a. a
b. l b. 2 b. 3 b. l b. 2 b. 3
c. 2 c. l c. l c. 2 c. l c. 1
d. 3 d. 5 d. 5 d. 3 d. S d. 5
e. 6 e. 6 e. 2 e. 6 e. 6 e. 2
16. a. 6 19. a. 6 26. a. 2 29. a. 6 36. a. 6 39. a. 2
b. 5 b. 3 b. 6 b. 5 b. 3 b. 6
c. l c. 2 c. 3 c. 1 c. 2 c. 3
d. 2 d. l d. l d. 2 d. l d. l
e. 3 e. 5 e. 5 e. 3 e. 5 e. 5
15. a. 2 20. a. 5 25. e. 3 30. a. 2 35. a. S 60. a. 3
b. 3 b. 6 b. 6 b. 3 b. 6 b. 6
c. 6 c. 3 c. 5 c. 6 c. 3 c. 5
d. 5 d. 2 d. l d. 5 d. 2 d. l
e. l e. l e. 2 e. l e. 1 e. 2

I30

PARENT ' 5 NAME

 

CHILD ' 5 NAME

 

INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR CHILD

Many parents say that their feeling of affection toward or for their child varies with

his behavior and with circumstances. Will you please read each item carefully and place a

check in the column which most nearly describes the degree of feeling d affection which

you have for your child in that situation.

 

 

Degree of Feeling of Affection

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A A
Much little The little Much
Check One Column more more same less less
For Each Item Below than than than than
usual usual usual usual
1. When he is obedient
2. When he is with me
3. When he misbehaves in front of special guests
4. When he expresses unsolicited affection. 'You're
the nicest mommy (daddy) in the whole world."
5. When he is away from me
6. When he shows off in public
7. When he behaves acmrding to my highest
expectations
8. When he expresses angry and hateful things to me
When he does things I have hoped he would not do
10. When we are doing things together

 

 

 

 

 

 

I3]

Listed below are several statements describing things which children do and say.
Following each statement are five responses which suggest ways of feeling or courses

cuon.

Read each statement carefully and then place a circle around the letter in front of
the (its response which most nearly describes the feeling you usually have or the course
of action you most generally take when your child says or does these things.

It is possible that you may find a few statements which describe a type of behavior which
you have not yet experienced with your child. In such cases. mark the response which
most nearly describes how you think you would feel or what you think you would do.

Be sure that you answer every statement and mark only one response for each state-
ment.

‘

11. When my child is shouting and dancing with excitement at a time when I want peace
and quiet. it: '

Makes me feel annoyed

Makes me want to know more about what excites him
Makes me feel like punishing him

Makes me feel that I will be glad when he is past this stage
Makes me feel like telling him to stop

00.950

12. When my child misbehaves while others in the group he is with are behaving well .

I:

3. See to it that he behaves as the others

b. Tell him it is important to behave well when he is in a group

c. Let him alone if he isn’t disturbing the Others too much

d. Ask him to tell me what he would like to do

e. Help him find some activity that he can enjoy and at the same time not disturb

the group
13. When my child is unable to do something which I think is important for him . it:

Makes me want to help him find success in the things he can do
Makes me feel disappointed in him

Makes me wish he could do it

Makes me realize that he can't do everything

Makes me want to know more about the things he can do

suave

14. When my child seems to be more fond of someone else (teacher. friend . relative)

than me. it:

a. Makes me realize that he is growing up

b. Pleases me to see his interest widening to other people

c. Makes me feel resentful

d. Makes me feel that he doesn't appreciate what I have done for him

Makes me wish he liked me more

 

I32

15. When my child is faced with two or more choices and has to choose only one. I:

16.

I7.

18.

19.

20.

 

Tell him which choice to make and why

Think it through with him '

Point out the advantages and disadvantages of each but let him decide for
himself

Tell him that I am sure he can make a wise choice and help him foresee
the consequences

Make the decision for him

When my child makes decisions without mnsulting me. I:

mantra:

When my child ki‘cks. hits or knocks his things about. it:

9&9”?

Punish him for not mnsulting me

Encourage him to make his own decisions if he can foresee the consequean
Allow him to make many of his own decisions

Suggest that we talk it over before he makes his decision

Tell him he must consult me first before making a decision

Makes me feel like telling him to stop

Makes me feel like punishing him

Pleases me that he feels free to express himself

Makes me feel that I will be glad when he is past this stage
Makes me feel annoyed

When my child is not interested in some of the usual activities of his age group. it:

sees?

Makes me realize that each child is different

Makes me wish he were interested in the same activities

Makes me feel disappointed in him

Makes me want to help him find ways to make the most of his interests
Makes me want to know more about the activities in which he is interested

When my child acts silly and giggly. I:

OQOU'D

.' Tell him I know how he feels

Pay no attention to him ‘

Tell him he shouldn't act that way

Make him quit

Tell him it is all right to feel that way. but help him find other ways of
expressing himself

When my child prefers to do things with his friends rather than with his family. I:

OQOUP

Encourage him to do things with his friends

Accept this as part of growing up

Plan special activities so that he will want to be with his family
Try to minimize his association with his friends

Make him stay with his family

 

 

21.

22.

23.

(25.

26.

133

When my child disagrees with me about something which I think is important. it:

Makes me feel like punishing him

Pleases me that he feels free to express himself
Makes me feel like persuading him that I am right
Makes me realize he has ideas of his own

Makes me feel annoyed

00-96”

When my child misbehaves while others in the group he is with are behaving well . it:

Makes me realize that he does not always behave as others in his group
Makes me feel embarrassed

Makes me want to help him find the best ways to express his feelings
Makes me wish he would behave like the others

Makes me want to know more about his feelings

"are?

When my child is shouting and dancing with excitement at a time when I want peace
and quiet. I:

Give him something quiet to do

Tell him thatl wish he would stop
Make him be quiet

Let him tell me about what excites him
Send him somewhere else

OQOU'D

When my child seems to be more fond of someone else (teacher. friend . relative)
than me. I:

Try to minimize his association with that person

Let him have such associations when I think he is ready for them
Do some special things for him to remind him of how nice I am
Point out the weaknesses and faults of that other person
Encourage him to create and maintain such associations

.9096?

When my child says angry and hateful things about me to my face. it:

Makes me feel annoyed

Makes me feel that I will be glad when he is past this stage
Pleases me that he feels free to express himself

Makes me feel like punishing him.

Makes me feel like telling him not to talk that way to me

9&9”?

When my child shows a deep interest in something I don't think is important. it:

Makes me realize he has interests of his own

Makes me want to help him find ways to make the most of this interest

Makes me feel disappointed in him

Makes me want to know more about his interests

Makes me wish he were more interested in the things I think are important for
him

00.917?

27.

28.

29.

’0.

31.

32.

 

136

When my child is unable to do some things as well as others in his group, I:

Tell him he must try to do as well as the others
Encourage him to keep trying

Tell him that no one can do everything well

Call his attention to the things he does well

Help him make the most of the activities which he can do

90.900

1

When my child wants to do something which I am sure will lead to disappointment
for him . I:

Occasionally let him carry such an activity to its mnclusion
Don't let him do it

Advise him not to do it

Help him with it in order to ease the disappointment

Point out what is likely to happen

00.96?

When my child acts silly and gigly. it:

Makes me feel that I will be glad when he is past this stage
Pleases me that he feels free to express himself

Makes me feel like punishing him

Makes me feel like telling him m stop

Makes me feel annoyed

serve

When my child is faced with two or more choices and has to choose only one. it:

Makes me feel that I should tell him which choice to make and why
Makes me feel that I should point out the advantages and disadvantages
Makes me hope that I have prepared him to choose wisely

Makes me want to encourage him to make his own choice

Makes me want to make the decision for him

savvy

When my child is unable to do something which I think is important for him . I:

Tell him he must do better

Help him make the most of the things which he can do
Ask him to tell me more about the things which he can do
Tell him that no one can do everything

Encourage him to keep trying

«again

When my child disagrees with me about something which I think is important. I:

Tell him he shouldn't disagree with me

Make him quit

Listen to his side of the problem and change my mind if I am wrong
Tell him maybe we can do it his way another time

Explain that I am doing what is best for him

.QQOD’P

 

 

33.

34.

35.

36.

37.

38.

135

When my child is unable to do some things as well as others in his group . it:

Makes me realize that he can't be best in everything

Makes me wish he could do as well

Makes me feel embarrassed

Makes me want to help him find success in the things he can do
Makes me want to know more about the things he can do well

I‘D-0U!”

When my child makes decisions without mnsulting me. it:

Makes me hope that I have prepared him adequately to make his decisions
Makes me wish he would consult me

Makes me feel disturbed

Makes me want to restrict his freedom

Pleases me to see that as he grows he needs me less

PQGUD

When my child says angry and hateful things about me to my face. I:

a. Tell him it's all right to feel that way. but help him find other ways of
expressing himself

b. Tell him I know how- he feels

c. Pay no attention to him

d. Tell him he shouldn't say such things to me
e. Make him quit

When my child kicks. hits and knocks his things about. I:

a: 'Make him quit

b. Tell him it is all right to feel that way. but help him find other ways
of expressing himself

c. Tell him he shouldn't do such things

d . Tell him I know how he feels

. e. Pay no attention to him

When my child prefers to do things with his friends rather than with his family.
it:

Makes me wish he would spend more time with us
Makes me feel resentful -

Pleases me to see his interests widening to other peOple
Makes me feel he doesn't appreciate us

Makes me realize that he is growing up

mantra

When my child wants to do something which I am sure will lead to disappointment
for him . it:

Makes me hope that I have prepared him to meet disappointment

Makes me wish he didn't have to meet unpleasant experiences

Makes me want to keep him from doing it

Makes me realize that occasionally such an experience will be good for him

0.060

 

136

Parent Acceptance Scale

 

 

 

Name: Total Score:

A. ll. ____ B. 12. ____
l7. ____ . 13. ____
l9. ____ 18. ____
21. ____ 22. ____
23.‘____ 26. ____
25. __ 27. _
29. ____ 31. ____
32- __ 33- __
35- ____ 39- ____
36. 60.
Total:____ Total:____

C. 16. ____. D. 1. _____
15. __ 2. __
16. ____ 3. ____
20. ____ h. ____
26. ____ 5. ____
28. ____, 6. ____.
30- ____ ?- ____
36. ____ 8. ____
37- ____ 9- ____.
38. 10. ____,

T0t318__ Total '

APPENDIX B

PARENT AS A TEACHER INVENTORY

137

138

PAAT

Name School

 

(write in)

Grandmother

Check one-Mother Father

Child‘s Name

 

Sex of child-Boy

Language of child-—Spanish English Bilingual Age of child

Mode of Administration?

1. Group in Spanish
2. Individual in Spanish
3. Group in English
4. Individual in English

Directions:

You will be reading some statements on feelings about your child.
He are asking that you express your feelings about your child.

circle only one answer.
you will circle either STRONG YES or STRONG N0.
Continue until you have answered all 30'statements.

1. I get tired of all the questions my child asks.
2. My child should be able to make noise during

play.

3. It is all right for my child to disagree
with me.

4. My child needs to play with me.

5. Much of my child's learning will take
place before he enters school.

6. I like my child to make up stories.

7. It gets on my nerves when my child keeps
asking me to watch him play.

8. I want my child to say more than I do when
we talk.

9. Playing with my child makes me feel restless.
10. It is hard for me to tell when my child has
learned something.

ll. When my child doesn't know an answer, I ask
him to guess.

Girl

This is not a test.
For each statement,

If there is no doubt in your mind about a statement, then
Otherwise, circle either YES or NO.
Take your time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No

trong Strong
Yes ‘ Yes No No
trong Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
trong Strong
Yes Yes No No
trong Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong StFfifig“
Yes Yes No No
trong Strong
_ Yes Yes No No
_ trong Strong
7 Yes Yes No No
trong ’Strong
Yes Yes N0 N0

 

 

 

 

 

12$
13.
14.
15.
l6.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.
27.

28.

29.

3Q

31.

I39

I et tired of all the fears that my child
ta ks about.

There are some things I just don't want my
child to talk about.

If I Spend a lot of time playing with my child
he will disobey me more often.

It is all right for my child to have a make-
believe friend.

I want my child to play with toys made for boys
and with toys made for girls.

My child bothers me with questions when I am
busy.

I like my child to-be quiet when adults are
talking.

I feel able to choose new toys for my child.
It is difficult for me to think of things to
say to my child during play.

when my child plays with toys, the pretending
seems foolish.

My child is punished for fighting during play.
while we play, my child should be the person
in control.

Playing with my child improves the child's
behavior.

when I play with my child I feel the need to
talk like a child.

I want my child to have all of his questions
answered.

It's all right for my child to get dirty
while at play.

When at play with my child, I prefer games that
have rules rather than the make-believe kind of

play.

My child learns new words when we play.
I feel able to give my child the proper
preschool experience at home.

I get upset when my child tries to solve a
simple problem in the wrong way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
’Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
7 Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong I Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
trong Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
trong Strong
Yes Yes No No
trong Strong
Yes Yes No No
trong Strong
Yes Yes No No
trong Strong
Yes Yes No No
trong Strong
Yes Yes No No
trong Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No

 

 

 

 

 

 

Q

160

32. It's okay for my child to interrupt me when we

33.

34.

35.

36.

37.

38.

39.

40.

41.

42.

43.

44.

45.

46.

47.

48.

49.

50.

play.

I feel play must be stepped when my child
becomes angry at a playmate.

I try to praise my child a lot when we

play.

More of my child's personality learning at this
age takes place by watching people and things
rather than by being told.

It is all right for my child to spend a lot of
time playing alone.

While at play my child can take out as many
toys as he wishes.

I provide chances for my child to make up his
own mind about a lot of things.

It is difficult for me to stay interested when
playing with my child.

I scold my child when he doesn't learn.

My child wants to play too long at one time.
When my child shows off I ignore it.

I feel unhappy when I don't know an answer

to my child's questions.

I imitate my child's speech when we play so
that the child understands.

It is easy for me to use toys when teaching
my child.

I seldom tell my child his work is good or bad
so that my child can make up his own mind.

I want my child to put the toys away before
going to bed.

It's all right for my child to have secrets
from me.

My child learns by playing with other
children.

If we play whenever my child wants to, not
much learning will take place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
’Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
7 trong Strong
Yes Yes No No
Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
’Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No

trong Strong
Yes Yes No No
I trong Strong
_ Yes Yes No No
trong Strong
_ Yes Yes No No
trong Strong
7 Yes Yes No No
trong Strong
Yes Yes No No
trong Strong
Yes Yes No No
*Strong Strong
Yes Yes No No
[Strong ’Strong
7 Yes Yes No No
*Strong Strong
_ Yes Yes No No

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

14]

PAAT Scoring Sheet FORM 8

Strono No

Yes

Yes

Stron

Item

 

41111141441444.114414444144141141441111444444114114

32222232332333223323333233232232332222333333223223

23333323223222332232222322323323223333222222332332

14444414114111441141111411414414114444111111441441

twee... * e at t e e a... a. see... a... e...
12345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890
1111a1111112222222222333333333344444444445

*Reversal Scoring Items

 

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APPENDIX C

OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONNAIRE

Ml;

IhS

OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONNAIRE

 

Name: Pre Post

 

 

 

1. Please describe your child. (How do you see your child?)

2. As a parent, what concerns you the most about raising your child?

3. Describe when you have felt happiest as a parent.

APPENDIX D

EXCERPTS FROM PARENT DISCUSSION

GROUP TRANSCRIPTS

M6

lh7

EXCERPTS FROM SESSION I

 

Facilitator:

Let's surmarize the goals for our children.

 

1) The parent wants the child to have tender, loving care. She has a
deep interest in her child; through happiness found here, [the child]
will find love.
2) Parent wants child to be flexible and adjustable. It is one of in
the most important things a child can have. F
3) The parent wants the child to learn to love - to love people in
general as human beings.
(Parent: Is it important to love yourself? [question asked in background]).
4) Parent wants child to be happy, creative.
5) Parent wants Child to be an independent, whole person. Child now
seeks out task and finds solutions.
6) Goal is to have child be an independent person.
7) Parent feels the day care will be good because child is very shy.
8) Child is "vehemently" independent. Goal is for child to learn to
love learning.
Parent:
What is a whole person?
Facilitator:

we enjoy, and we can feel angry. Sometimes we look at only one part of
the child instead of the whole child. We want to help them develop in
all relationships when we look at all parts of life. We want to focus

on what will become an entire.

We have many parts to us - intelligence, thinking, feeling, working;

 

 

lh8

EXCERPTS FROM SESSION II

Facilitator:

All right, here are a couple of things I've heard. Getting a child
to be self-directed versus having to be directed over again; and at what
stage in being directive over him, do we get the child to become more of
a boss over himself? I heard another very important thing from Linda;
she was sitting very quietly, and only said one thing, "we need to look
at our own behavior also." Can we focus on how we're in control of our
own lives, and what we do as patterns? I don't like to use the word
modeling, but, in part, I think that was what Linda was saying - let's
look at what children see. What else?

Parent:
I think that something really essential is self-esteem.
Parent:
I think that if the other problem was off my mind, I'd have a lot
more creative ideas.
Facilitator:
What problem is that?
Parent:

This messy business I'm living in ... you know, I found that I
took responsibility for five people messing up the house, and I was the
one who felt guilty about it, and I was the one who took the responsi-
bility, and I finally decided -- hey, I refuse to live with all this guilt
and all this responsibility when everybody's doing it. When the youngest
one in the house is almost five, I think that everyone Should start,
you know, so I got rid of the guilt, and now I have to learn to have

the other four people take responsibility, and at that point, I'll be

IHS

Excerpts from Session II Page 2
home free.
Parent:

We were talking about clutter - having the kids take care of their
belongings, and your belongings, but I can ranember the lightest point
in my life when I was standing somewhere in the middle of Florida, and
I had a backpack, a kid, and a diaper bag, and my wife had the same
thing -* a backpack, a kid, and a diaper bag, and we were light. There
was no clutter - nothing to carry around, nothing to organize in our heads
and I think that's what we are asking our kids to do - organize some of

our shit and theirs, too.

Parent:

Organize mine?
Parent:

Yah, that's your stuff - you bought it for them.
Parent:

Ybu play with toys?
Parent:

Sure!
Parent:

It's true; but I'm having a little hard time taking it.
Parent:

You're right, I bought it.
Parent:

YOu bought it, but you bought it for them.
Parent:

But I bought it for them to get out of my hair.

 

I50

Excerpts from Session II Page 3

Parent: .
I'll bet stuff she wants him to pick up.
Parent:

I agree. I think you burden your children with toys, with too
many toys. My brother - they have just boxes full, on the main level,
upstairs and downstairs, and they can't play without dumping everything
out. I can see right to the bottom. And the whole floor is covered
and there's very little constructive play going on.

Parent:

Then they have nothing to do. Once they're tired of the toys, they

can't think of anything else to do.

Parent:

Then they play with about two things.
Teacher:

There's too many to choose from.
Parent:

First thing, all the broken toys are thrown away; no matter how much
the kids like to play with them, they are not kept. Then they have just
a small box all over again. Every three months I do that.

Teacher:

There's anotherthingyoucando, andthat is toputabunchof them
away where they can't play with them, and then switch them. It's like
having new ones - they're special.

Parent:

I did that one time. I decided what was good for them to play with.

ISI

Excerpts from Session II Page 4

Parent:
They're (the children) always with me, though.
Parent:

You let them make the decision. I made the decision and broke his

heart because some of the neatest things he had, and that wasn't fair.
Parent:

Jennifer has one piece of a puzzle that's been missing for three
years, and one-half of a baseball card; the other half is somewhere in
the house. I know the feeling, because I hang on to all these little bits
and pieces of things thinking they're all going to come together, and they
never do.

Facilitator:

Richard, you're going to take notes on the topics? I think I heard
you say a couple things. Tell me if you think they're importnat. Some-
times if kids have too many toys, it gets in the way of how they play and
what they play. Do we want to look at play, and how toys fit into play,
and maybe how we facilitate play in children? From my standpoint, having
too many toys becomes a problem because those toys are so realistic, so
specific, they loose a sense of how to play, they loose their imagination.
They are too exact in their construction. This toy is a tank, and it does
just this thing. They are not flexible in terms of demanding you to put
into them. They're here and all set, and all you do is work it. As a
consequence then, we get tired of that specific thing. It does not have
the flexibility to become what you want it to. I just bought my son a
toy truck, and he's spending all his time playing with the box. Why is
he playing with the box?

152

Excerpts from Session II Page 5

Parent:
Because he can do more with it than he can do with the truck.
Parent:
You can look at something like bathtub toys. The kids can take
a couple of toys, and you can do all kinds of things with them.
Facilitator:
Do we want to take a look at play?
Parent:
Yes.
Parent:

Gorilla T.V. That little thing in the home that sends electrical
impulses out - 1,000 every half second. You know, T.V. There was a
book called "Gorilla T.V." Talking about T.V. in 'general, my daughter
goes into the T.V. room Saturday morning about 6:00 a.m. - can't wait
until it goes on; and I know this is a lot of other kids because I've
given a lot of interest inventories to kids, and they all say Saturday
morning cartoons. At the end of about four hours she is so hyped, so
wired, because it's too such, and I wonder what it's doing to her.

Parent:

My eight-year old - I have to drag him out of bed on school
mornings, but on Saturday morning - he's out of bed, and the T.V. is on
with a bowl of cereal.

Parent:

It's like a person drinking a coke - it's addictive. I've enrolled

him in the "Y" - I've done all sorts of things, and it's right back to T.V.

153

Excerpts from Session II Page 6

Teacher:
I found with nice weather, a little different structure will
take her out of that environment.
Parent:
After an hour or so they get tired and leave the room - I'm still
watching, but mine say heEk with T.V., and go play games.
Facilitator:
One of the things I think you are asking, is how do we motivate
children to be interested in other things? What motivates children
in their interests? Children's interests are the subject of much research.
That's a good topic.
Parent:
I have one who's a little older, and I don't want to think negatively,
' but he's responsible for what he does, and he should feel bad if he does
something bad, and I don't think of it as a value judgement, but I could
give an example. I hesitate and wonder.
Facilitator:
Give me an example.
Parent:
Today I picked him up from school, and his plastic lunchbox had
one side all smashed out. I asked him what happened to this lunchbox,
and he usually arranges it so that it happened to him. The story was,
it hit the sidewalk; and I said just be honest, so he admitted he threw
it. I told him he would have to use this lunchbox until the end of the
school year. I would use the strong tape on it, and we would tape it.

154

Excerpts from Session II Page 7

I have friends who would say, "Well, they aren't that strong anyway."
Facilitator:

How do I identify that as an issue?

Parent:
You would say that you have to take the responsibility.
Teacher:
How old is he?
Parent:
Six and a half.
Parent:
He knows he has to take care of his things.
Parent:
As far as my two girls getting along, I will hear a big smack
and I ask "What happened, Amy?" She ran into my fist.
Parent:

Or they come home from school all covered with mud. Somebody
threw'me into the mud, or somebody tripped me. They never start out with
"I did this."
Facilitator:
Ownership of behavior? Will we discuss that?
Parent:
You mean, "Yes, I did do this?"
Parent:

It leads later on to outright lying.

155

Excerpts from Session II Page 8

Facilitator:
You are concerned that it will get into a case where a child is

distorting the truth.

Parent:
Yes. He will probably believe it, too.
Facilitator:
It would get to the point where he was not very genuine in his
relationships?
Parent:
You want to build a conscience. You want then to be able to express
emotions.
Facilitator:
Are you wondering if you should blame him or not?
Parent:

I want him to know this did not just happen to him. I want him to

know that he caused the action.

156

EXCERPTS FROM SESSION III

Facilitator:
It's been two weeks since we have been together. Self-esteem will
be our focus for this week.
Parent:
I brought something that bothers me. [Reads a statement from
teacher regarding second grade son.] It bothers me - why does my son
have to be more compliant, normally active? He is normally quiet. What

do you think that is doing for his self-esteem?

Parent:

It gives him something to live up to now.
Facilitator:

How does your son feel about that?
Parent:

My husband read it to him, but I did not want him to think the
teacher thought he was different from others.
Facilitator:
What did the teacher mean by "normal" in that case?
Parent:
She was trying to give him a compliment. He is quiet and reserved.
He is not performing the way she wants him to perform.
Facilitator to Teacher:
What do you see as normal for the kids here?
Teacher:

They are all individual. There is a "normal" for each child.

157

Excerpts from Session III Page 2

Facilitator: .
What does it do to our self-esteem when we are told we are not good

as we are -- you have to be something other than what you are?

Parent:
Instead of looking at the person, the teacher is looking at the
behavior.
Teacher:

As a teacher, the first ones you take care of are the disruptive
ones, the next are the ones who are mad, and the last are the quiet ones.
It might show she cared enough about him that she noticed a change.

Facilitator:

How can you decide what is normal for a child? The teacher decided
what is normal by taking a cross section. If we view normal as what
is healthy for one's own growth, then normal is whatever is in the best
interest in your own growth as a person. Normal for me might not be
normal for you. What do you notice in your children? Are they different?

Parent:

My two are different people - like night and day.
Parent:

What I do with one can be destructive if I do it with the other.
Facilitator:

Do you feel his self-esteem was better last year? What builds
up self-esteem? mat hurts self-esteen? What do you mean by self-esteu?
Parent:
Self-esteem means you have to be able to trust - live in a safe

environment.

158

Excerpts from Session III Page 3

Parent:
You have to know a teacher cares.
Parent:

Self-esteem involves an ability or feeling of being able to give to
your environment as well as take from it. You have to feel it's all
right to give.

Parent:

It's a need -- that somebody needs what you have to offer.
Facilitator:

How do we do that -- make them aware it is OK to give or they

have something to give?

Parent:

Show approval. Tell them. Show appreciation.
Parent:

Give a hug or kiss - praise.
Facilitator:

What's the difference between appreciation and praise?
Parent:
I think of it more in a sense of praise being you are good because ...
Appreciation is caning from myself. Praise is judgmental.
Parent:
How about encouragement instead of praise?
Parent:
Appreciation involves acceptance of individuality - praise is

controlling. I can accept more easily those whom I don't have a lot

159

Excerpts from Session III Page 4

to do with. I can let them be. I'm not sure acceptance and letting them
be is the same thing. I have more difficulty with people dear to me.
Do you have trouble accepting your child? Is acceptance involved?
Parent:
Do you expect, or need more fr-m those close or dear to us?
Facilitator:
What about accepting me if I were your child? The quiet, imaginative
child compared to more aggressive.
Parent:
Some parents always try to separate their children.
Parent:
Comparisons could be good, but they can be bad. They compare each
other, then stick with the expected.
Facilitator:
It seems like acceptance comes into focus when we view expectations.
Parent:
I find aggressive children harder to deal with.than passive
children.
FaCilitator:
Why do you find one easier to deal with?
Parent:
I don't know. It is easier to work with a passive child.
Parent:
I wonder, also, when we were talking about our parents, do we have
some experience where we have expectations laid on us, and did we feel

accepted?

I6C)

EXCERPTS FROM SESSION IV

Facilitator:

An example I see a lot of times with moms is, "Yes, I know it's
good for kids to play with pots and pans." "It's good for growth and
development for them to explore, but it drives me crazy!" Conflict -
how do we feel about those things?

Parent:

Get plastic - they don't make noise.
Parent:

It's great to have them help you cook, but the times they most
want to help are the times you least have the patience, and you really
need a lot. I find myself telling Jennifer "N0" because it's 5:00, and
I have spent a whole day at school and I have this much patience, and I
simply can't tolerate which is a shame.

Parent:
Time and pressures are too great, and you can't ...
Parent: '

This is what I try to do. I try to put her off. I can't do this
right now; I have things to get ready, and I have to leave again for
another class, and we can do it on Saturday when we have lots of time.
I really like to enjoy it. When my temper is just below the boiling
point, I don't even want to attempt it.

Facilitator: I
Could you have them do it by themselves?

Parent:

That's what I try to do. The two older ones and Jennifer -

I6I

Excerpts from Session IV Page 2

anything she can do, she's allowed to do. Getting things out of the
refrigerator, making sandwiches, but I just feel badly because the
kids, we were always doing things, making jello, fancy salads, and it
seems like with her, I'm not spending the time and I should.

Parent:

0n the way over here, I felt I was late and Bernie insisted he
was hot, and I wanted the heater on so he cracked the window, turned
the heater on and off, turned the air conditioner on, and I said he
just had to stop.

Parent:

I have a headache from being late, too. I went to the gas station,
and didn't know that when you pay first, the thing turns off 60¢ before
the end. I thought I wasn't getting any gas, and I thought I don't have
the time for this. I wanted $5.00 worth of gas, and had to borrow from
my neighbor, and I thought I wasn't getting any gas, and I thought I
wasn't getting any gas, and I asked the guy, and he said "you're
getting gas; you just don't realize it." I just thought I ... I
didn't have any gas, or any money, or any time. Anyway, I'll never go
back there again.

Parent:

You're ruShed, and you try to get your kids to move, and they
move even slower.

Then you end up yelling at them, which upsets them.
Parent:

I think it's a big expectation. I expect my kids to fit into

I62

Excerpts from Session IV Page 3

my schedule, and that's hard because at the same time I expect them

to fit into my schedule, I put denands on them, and sometimes they

are unreasonable demands. I have to go to school. This is sanething
I paid for - this is something I set out for so that means my kids have
to fit into my schedule.

Parent:

 

And sometimes they'd rather just sit around the house and relax
in the morning. '
Parent:
They get upset, and then they have to blow off steam the same

as we have to do.

Parent:
We have to work around their schedules, too.
Parent: '
When our kids clash, most of the time it's over being somewhere
on time.
Parent:

When you feel pressures, at least you understand why you're going
and they don't. Jennifer doesn't need to come to school, she doesn't
want to, and then you say I have to go.

Parent:

I sometimes have an apposite problem where I explain exactly what
the morning activities are going to be, and they're out there saying,
"Cane on, Dad, let's go," and then I get frustrated because they're
putting a demand on me to keep up with what my planned schedule was.

 

 

I63

Excerpts from Session IV Page to

Parent:

Nobody wants any demands placed on them.

Parent:
Everybody wants their own time and a space. All of us feel
pressure.
Parent:

I think because we feel demands placed on us, Iike-going to school
or that test, we transfer those demands; or I transfer the demands
to my kids. I don't mean to. It's just that's how you...

Parent:

If I've got to be somewhere, I have to be sanewhere, and I don't
say to Mary, "Let's sit down and finish the rest of your game," or
whatever. '

Parent:
I try to schedule important things, but it doesn't always work.
Facilitator:

It seems that part of what you're describing is a growing distanc-
ing from your children versus your plan of life for you, and perhaps
your family - that you are growing apart and you need to coumunicate
where you are going. '

Parent:

I think school can be very upsetting to children. When all of a
sudden you are not placing than first, or it doesn't seem like you're
placing than first, you've got this certain thing you have to do. It's

16h

Excerpts fran Session IV Page 5

been that way with me going full time for two years. My schoolwork

has to cane first at times. I found a lot of resentments, especially with
my oldest child. She blames school for everything. It's not true, but
she focuses on that. I think the trouble with schoolwork is, you have

to take it home with you. Sane jobs do denand it, and sane jobs don't.

With school you've always got that pressure.

Parent:

My boys are a bit younger, but the problem is the opposite.

When they get days off, and I can't get saneone to watch them, they cane
with me to class. They really feel good about that.
Parent:

My younger ones do. Jennifer is happy about going to the college.
The older one sees me as a rival. I'm doing the same type thing she is,
and she thinks I should be focusing on her activities instead of my own.

Parent;
We have our schedules fixed.
Facilitator: _

You might want to talk about how we caummicate expectations, and
howwedealwith those. Wemight alsowant to talkabouthownnchour
children are conceptualizing, identifying with, feel like they are
participating in the plan of life we have for ourselves. It certainly
seems like we are expecting than to be supportive to our plan of life,
supportive by meeting your time schedule. How uuch are they identifying
with, or conceptualizing, or feeling like they are participating in?

I65

Excerpts fran Session IV Page 6

Ann, you mentioned that one of your children you think feels part of it,
really likes going to school.
Parent:

I'd say, for the most part, that Jennifer does because, as you
say, she identifies with it. She'd get the vacations I do, so she feels
very much part of that. She drives here every time during the day that I
'do, she canes here, too, so that's the ideal, I suppose, 11": that's not
always possible. She at least has a good idea of what's going on -
probably better than my other children. The eight-year old is too involved
in his own activities to give a care. As long as there is food in the
refrigerator, or meals are there, he's that kind of a child. He's not
that demanding, nor overly sensitive.

Facilitator:

It seems to me that as we participate, we tend to meet these
expectations. We might want to focus on what we do to cannunicate that
the importance of my meeting those expectations, and how well I've done
in meeting those expectations so I receive those important to the
other person, and that there's a reflection so they see this as an
on-going situation that we are growing together, in so that what they've
done is important versus a situation where the child may feel that they
are not really a participant in, or important to, the parent or fanily
in meeting that expectation, but rather that emectation has just been
laidonthem. Icangiveyouanexanple. Ihaveveryhighexpectations
formysonintakingcareofthesheepdownatthebarn. Ididfind
myself in a situation where he cane through, and he's been doing it when
I'm not there. Yesterday he gave me a call - one of the lambs was sick.

I66

Excerpts fran Session IV Page 7

This was about 5:00 p.m., and later in that evening we went through the
crisis of trying to save the lanb. later I did say, "Josh, I so nuch
appreciate what you did. Look at all you've done. Everyday after school
you've gone down and taken care of those sheep. Because you're that
responsible, you were able to find this lanb, and let me know - that is
really important because Daddy can't be there all the time. I don't
know what we'd do without you." Typically, I don't know that I spend
time doing that with him. I wonder how often we should. I have gotten
into hassles - all right, I wm't do the chores, or I will sell the
sheep. But that's a real struggle. But that struggle canes when we
start to becane distant fran one another, and it's like we are no
longer identifying with the same goal in life. Man's off to school,
and that doesn't have anything to do with me. The question, I guess, is
are there things we can do to help children feel like they are partici-
pating -- getting the fanily toward that goal?

Parent:

I just think sanetimes the goals are not clear. My thirteen-year
old sees this as sanething that's tearing the family apart. She cannot
see the purpose of my going. My husband is working out of town, and I'm
going to school, and she's focusing on going to school instead of the
other problen - that school is the scapegoat. She sees that as the
focusing point. I guess mine is a unique situation. But I think you're
right as far as telling a child we do appreciate what they do. Too often
we ... Ihavethis ideathat everyoneshouldcooperate simplybecause
that makes the fanily mit rm better.

I67

Excerpts fran Session IV Page 8

Parent:
Explain why they cannot do sanething, not just you will not do.
Let them know why.
Parent:
Let them know why it is neat that they do do it, in the case of
Julie having to babysit, which she alternately resents and enjoys; and
let her know this is necessary in order for me to go to school. The
basic problem is she still doesn't see why. I'm two months away fran a
degree, and I guess the kids just don't really realize what a degree means.
Parent:
When I started school, we sat down as a family and talked about
what itwouldmean, andMary, at that time, wasz-Zk, andshewas
bouncing off the couch; but we asked her sane questions at 2%, and she
could answer them in very concrete terms: She Imew what was going on,
at least for that manent; and we have made an effort ever since, because
our schedules are so tight that every time there is a big change, we discuss
it ahead of time. We ask the kids ahead of time, "What do you think
of this?" "What would you do if ...?" "What don't you want to do, or
what do you want to do about it?" They're both really supportive of me
going to school. It's the everyday things that go on that are a problem
because they're watching a T.V. show, or doing their painting, and it's
this moment. They understand the big concept, but the day-to-day ones
My schedule is different fran theirs right now.
Parent:
It's always everyday things we get bogged down on. You can always
look at the long-range things, but if I can just get through this day.

I68

Excerpts from Session IV Page 9

Parent continued:

What if you walk into a house, and somebody you've never seen before
starts threatening your child and making demands on him? I went to a party
one time, and met someone who said, "I'm so-and-so's mean aunt." "Hi,
Bernie, how are you. Come over here so I can spank you." I said, "You've
got to be kidding. She said, "You're probably more scared than he is.
Come over here." I was real emberrassed. Then she said, "It's past
your bedtime; get over there and lie down." He started crying.

Parent:
Situations like that catch you off guard. They come up out of the blue,
and you don't know what to say.
Parent:
Nothing has ever prepared you for Something like that.
Parent: '

I saw just the opposite thing. I was looking for an apartment, and
there must have been six little kids in this one house, all under five;
those kids were just everywhere - enough noise for a circus, and two
ladies, apparently the mothers were having the best conversation, and
it's crazy time everywhere else. I thought, "How could they just not
even be bothered by it."

Parent:

You know, no one has the right to tell me what to do, and she said,

"You ought to be spanked; it's past his bedtime." I just said, "Go

away."

I69

Ekcerpts from Session IV Page 10

Facilitator:
What kinds of problems do we encounter setting expectations?
Parent:
I went to get my prescription filled, and forgot my money; The
kids kept saying, "You've got a dollar, two dollars," and all those F
people were standing around. Ybu feel ... oooh, please shut up, and

 

tell me when we get home.
Facilitator:
When you place unrealistic expectations on a child, the child's never

going to win. Their self-esteem is going to go ... that cannot meet

 

these kinds of expectations.
Parent:
We talked about that several weeks ago with our parents. You
just quit trying because you could never meet anything; a "B" was
supposed to be an "A," and, after a while, you consider yourself a
loser and act accordingly. It's hard to overcome that.
Parent:
When my boys do something good, or something to please me, I tell
them "that's really great" and I wish you could see their faces.
I give a lot of credit for trying. My thirteen-year old has not
been doing well in eighth grade, and she's in the lowest English class.
It's a matter of maturity, not a matter of grades. I don't want her to
take hard classes in ninth grade because I'm afraid. We've fought over
her schedule. She doesn't have comnmmd.of the English language é how is
she going to take Spanish? I wanted her to take reading skills, and I

 

I70

Excerpts from Session IV Page 11

have no way to converse with the counselor, and she was coming back
and telling me.
Facilitator:
Maybe she has another feeling.
Parent:
We finally balanced it. She did take the reading skills; I allowed
her to take the Spanish.
Facilitator:
You chose one; she chose one?
Parent:

No; I gave in. If she took the reading skills because I felt she
needed it. She is in the lowest group. She's reading about a fifth
grade level. I found myself holding back because I wanted her to take
these things I felt she could handle, but she's got to risk failure.
We talked about that before, too. She's had just a hard time in eighth
grade. I hated to see her start out that way in high school, too.

Parent:
You're expecting her to fail.
Parent: '

I realize that - I want so badly to have her succeed I'm afraid

to have her risk anything.
Parent:

I have trouble deciding what expectations to put on my kids. I
expect my kids to be well-mannered, you know, basic manners. I want
my kids to respect other members of the family. When they disagree,

I7I

Excerpts fran Session IV Page 12

I expect them to do it constructively, not hit Manny or Daddy. They can
yell, but it's got to be constructive; but I have a hard time placing
expectations because I'm so worried about doing what's best for them.

I can't say I know what's best.

I72

EXCERPTS FROM SESSION V

Parent:

These things have to be done, and it took time; but we got things
done. Then we did what he wanted to do. I wanted him to respect me
as much as I wanted to respect him. He was about eleven.

Parent:

What about the child's expectations of you? My children's expecta-
tion of me are unreal, I feel. No matter how many things I did, they
would still cane up with "Let's do this." No thanks for doing the thing
the thing that went before.

Parent:

It could be part of the problé'n of single parenting. You're trying
to be two parents, and satisfy the needs of that child. If there
were a man around helping to take care of the child, he would be taking
sane of the time.

Parent:

My husband told me one time, "I'm not the babysitter, you are."

No argunent, no disucssion, that was it - he didn't want to bother with
the kids.
Parent:

I think one of the most important things in our family is planning.
I sit down before the crisis occurs, I tell them what I need or want,
then the crisis never occurs. Everybody knows my expectations, and I
know theirs.

Facilitator:
Can we balance expectations in terms of what we need or what we

can tolerate? We think of what is good for the kids and what you can

 

 

I73

Excerpts fran Session V Page 2

tolerate. Does that cause inconsistency with the child? That's a good
question.
Parent:

They need to understand that you are angry, upset, etc., that

those feelings are part of life.
Parent:

It's important that children realize if the bane is not up to par,
it is not because of them. So often we take it out on our children,
and they think the way you feel is their fault.

Parent:

I try to be careful if I'm angry or tired that my child doesn't see
itbecauseifshedoes, sheisatthesaneplace. Shethenneedsme
twice as much.

Facilitator:
, Wnat are other examples of increased denands you are experiencing
that decreases your ability to tolerate?
Parent:

Job expectancy. The next few weeks will be very busy - pressures,
etc. I try to make sure I have sane times where I don't have anything
planned. In sane of those blocks, there's time for just the two of us.

Facilitator:

What is good quality time?
Parent:

When I'm in a good mood.
P..rent:

Quality time for me is when my child is the center of my attention.

17h
Excerpts from Session V Page 3
Parent:
Loving interaction.
Parent:

Enjoyable times together - going to dinner together, going to school

carnivals, things that are important to the children.
Parent:

I felt responsible when things didn't go right in our family unit;
and I'd apologize because I felt he had the expectation everything
should go right. In a way, I worked him out of the family unit by
doing what he should have been doing.

Parent:

My expectations of the children's behavior is lower. It's easier

for me to deal with the dhildren.
Facilitator:

What do the children expect of the father? What is the role of the

father?
Parent:

The role of the father is essentially the same as the mother - 50%-
that's the ideal. You're talking about models. This is what you should
be, but how do you get there?

Parent:

Father wants to overprotect. I allow them to make mistakes and

get over them. He'd like to isolate them.
Parent:
YOU have to find the place where you can work together, and start

from there. It's a slow process.

 

I75

Excerpts from Session V Page 4

Parent:

It seems the traditional role is the father goes out, works five
days a week; he comes home and wants to sit down, read the newspaper,
and watch the news; and the woman, whether she works or not, cooks
the meals, and on Saturday, he's working on the car, and on Sunday
a little time is squeezed in.

Parent:

The difference is the women don't have the time anymore to be a

hanemaker, so men have to share.
Facilitator:

We try to look at children as first-class citizens. If we look
at ourselves as being a child-centered nation, our cannunity, or our
family in terms of how child-centered we really are, can we really have
any such child-centeredness, or first class respect, if we live in a world
with so much prejudice against women?

Parent:

Indeed we can't.
Parent:

We have to work at it.
Teacher:

"Nova" on PBS program showed how parents and teachers bring out
agression in the way they discipline boys and girls. In decision making,
boys are brought up to be assertive and make decisions, and girls are
brought up to follow and listen.

I76

Excerpts from Session V Page 5

Parent:
Nursery rhymes tell the same thing - snips and snails and puppy
dog tails.
Parent:
Traditionally, that's one thing that is harder for women to do - to
express anger, to talk about feelings, and not getting emotional about it.
It's easier for a man to look at a situation, decide he doesn't like it,
and walk away from it or deal with it, where a woman doesn't know what
to do about it.
Parent
How do we transfer that to our kids?
Parent:
Talk it out. Don't be afraid to show your feelings of anger. Let
the children express their anger.

 

I77

EXCERPTS FROM SESSION VI

Parent:

When we were talking about the schools, the girls were wearing
uniforms. Last year, where my boys were going to school, they had to wear
navy blue pants and light blue shirts. This school where they go to now -
they don't. But I try to counteract that what they learn at school by
things at home, by doing things that are mostly what a woman does - dishes,
mop up the floor, clean up what the dog did, help with whatever it is.

And it helps. I try to explain to them.

Parent:

How do you get them to do it?
Parent:

I have a good excuse - I can't bend over.
Parent:

One of the things that bothered me this last week was that I was
cooking bacon and Mary was watching me, and all of a sudden a bunch of it
(bacon grease) sputtered all over and I got burned - not severely, but
Mary inlnediately said, "I want Daddy, I want Daddy." I didn't know whether
she was saying that because Daddy would come and control the situation,
and I was incapable of controlling the situation in her mind; or she was
scared and wanted another parent, and I wondered, "am I fostering something
in her that says Momnyhisn't capable, and Dad can figure it out?"

Parent:
Or was it because you were in a stess situation that she felt someone

who was not in a stress situation could help.

 

 

I78

Excerpts from Session VI Page 2

Parent:
I don't know now - I'm wondering.
Parent:

I have a friend in one of the classes whose husband is a doctor,
and she has three kids ... She said there's the doctor sitting right there
and they say, "Mom, Mom." She has all the responsibility, all the problems.

Parent:

It is still obvious in our society, you know, the difference, or
maybe it's just the young age, but my kids, as far as I'm concerned,
there's no defined roles in our ... because I can take our kids more, but
my husband and I do a lot of the same things, yet Erin will come home from
sdhool and say, "Boys can do more things than girls and have more fun than
girls" and all that.

Facilitator:

She'll say that from school?

Parent:
My son, and I'd say, "Well, whatever they want to do."
Facilitator:
Who would say that?
Parent:
Neil, my seven-year old son.
Parent:

My Erin is starting to question me now. Last sunner, and it was
the first time she had ever played with little boys, and most of them are

about a year older, and she never questioned the idea that women could

I79

Excerpts from Session VI Page 3

not do a lot of things, and it was the sports mostly.
Parent:

That's Jennifer - she wants to play for the Lions. You know, she
doesn't want to play for a girls' football team, she wants to play for the
Lions. I think I told you before about the ... weekend that where
Jennifer is always trying to come up with something that boys can do that
girls cannot, and so forth, and the only thing I've been able to tell her
is about mother and father; that boys can never be a mother. So far, she's
not come up with anything that I could definitely tell her she couldn't do.
She has the same problem; she plays with boys, and she'll go through this
role-matching thing.

Parent:

Erin's not macho, she's just really concerned that she doesn't want
anyone to tell her that she can never do something. I don't think it's
bad that she doesn't want to play with dolls right now or ever.

Parent:

No, because who is going to force the child to play with dolls.
YOu want to play with dolls, or you don't want to play with dolls. I
like stuffed animals and real animals, and I never really cared much
about dolls . . .

Later in same session . . .
Facilitator:

I think the issue of whether wanen are more emotional than men has
to do with, has society from early on in life, taught men that they better
repress their feeling, so as a consequence, women are more emotional than

men because men have repressed their emotions. Not that they didn't have

 

 

 

180

Excerpts from Session VT Page 4

the capabilities. I think Marilyn is asking a good question there.
That's hard to deal with.
Teacher:

We have right here at the center, word has got around, that little
boys don't cry. Anyway, it happened today - renember I told you he just
cried, and he was all set, and all of a sudden I saw him under the table,
and the lip was here, and a tear was in the eyes, and nothing would come
out, and he said big boys don't cry. A big macho student was here, and
he said, "Gee, I cried the other day," and we tried, but it's happening
all the time.

Facilitator:

It'll happen when you think you're in control of the situation like
Bonnie did. It'll happen from a kid talking to a kid. You work in a
public school, you'll see that. Little kids will bring those prejudices
from home. Would each one of you be comfortable with their boys crying
as they get older?

General consensus:
Yes.
Facilitator:
Would you be comfortable with them playing with dolls?
Parent:
I had a doll when I was a little girl, and I saved it for my boys.
Facilitator:

would your husband let them? That's the more important question.

I8I

Excerpts from Session VI Page 5

Parent:

The boys were playing with it for a couple of months, and all of a
sudden it just disappeared. And I know the kids didn't loose it, and I
didn't put it away. I think he just threw it away. I never thought about
it. It just hit me now, all these years later. Why did that doll
disappear like that?

Parent: I

I have my doll with me tonight in the truck. It has brown hair and

it's called Raggedy Andy, and has green pants and a big gold button.
Parent:

We went to first grade and saw the art work. The children drew
their mothers and fathers, and I said, "let me pick out my own." The
only mother on the whole board who had pants on was me.

Parent:

I saw a mother last night at swimming classes - it was parent's
night - calling her son a sissy, and telling him to take off his goggles.
I just wanted to take my hands around this woman's neck. He would not
junp off the diving board. Jennifer didn't junp off the diving board
either. If she doesn't want to junp off the diving board, she doesn't
have to. And it makes no difference whether she's a boy or girl or
whatever.

Teacher:
Why didn't you say something?
Parent:

I don't even know her.

I82

Excerpts from Session VT Page 6

Parent:
Well, I saw a woman take her child in a grocery store and start
slapping him because he ran away, asserting his independence, and I
said something to her while she was disciplining him. I said, "That's
enough," and everyone around the store turned around and looked, and she
stopped; but she was beating the kid. I could have screamed "abuse."
Parent:
Did she say anything to you, Richard?
Parent: We talked for a minute. I said to her, "You should be proud of

your son, so independent, so trusting.

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