A S1UDY OF R A H NOS OF COMPREHENSIVE EXAMINATION
THEMES WHEN CERTAIN ELEMENTS ARE WEAKENED

By
Robert W. Starring

AN ABSTRACT
Submitted to the School of Graduate Studies of Michigan
State College of Agriculture and Applied Science
in partial fulfillment of the requirements
for the degree of
DOCTOR OF EDUCATE ON
School of Education
August, 1952

I.

Statement of the problem.

The rating of comprehens

examination themes has been one of the duties of Written and
Spoken English staff members since the beginning of the Basic
College in ± 9 b b at Michigan State College.

The purpose of

this thesis was to find out how the members of this department
used a rating form to score these themes.
I I . Methodology.

The scheme of this experiment was to

select a certain number of comprehensive examination themes
and weaken an equal number in respect to each category of
composition on the rating form, and to have these weakened
versions rated by the same staff members three years later.
The themes selected were those of the Written and
Spoken English Comprehensive Examinations of May, 19*+9•

Of

the approximately 2100 themes written at that time 150 cases
in the score range of 98 - 78 were selected, 100 being the
highest possible score.

These 150 cases were re-written to

weaken thirty themes in respect to conventions of grammar,
thirty in respect to sentence structure, thirty in respect
to diction, thirty in respect to organization, and thirty in
respect to content.

These weakened versions were then copied in hand­
writing closely resembling that of the writer of the original
version on paper identical to that used in the original
writing of May, 191+9*

Then these weakened versions were

shuffled and assigned new serial numbers, and allowed to
age to acquire the appearance of the original versions.
These weakened versions were rated in May, 1952 by
twenty-four members of the Department of Written and Spoken
English with the same directions as those in 19^9*

The scores

of the original version and the weakened version of each
theme were tabulated.

Change in total score and in the scores

assigned to each category of the rating form was expressed
in percentage of loss or gain,
III. Conclusions.
1. Weaknesses in the most carefully defined elements
of written composition seem to be the easiest for raters
to detect in these themes.

If we assume Conventions of

Grammar to be the most carefully defined category of com­
position elements, then these raters detect weaknesses in
that category more easily than they do in any of the other
four categories.
2. Versions of themes weakened in respect to Conven­
tions of Grammar produced an average total score loss of

a loss greater than, that produced in the versions
weakened in respect to any of the other four categories.
Therefore these raters score most severely that category
of elements in which they can most easily detect weaknesses
3. When these raters scored papers weakened in res­
pect to Sentence Structure they detected weakness to the
extent of lowering the average score of that category by
if1.6$, but they evidently thought these themes weakest in
Conventions of Grammar since that category suffered an
average score loss of

Therefore, these raters as

a group do not make a distinction between weakness in
Sentence Structure and weakness in Conventions of Grammar.
If. When these raters scored papers weakened in
respect to Content, they discovered weakness to the extent
of lowering the average score of that category by I f O . O $ ,
but they evidently thought these themes weakest in Organiza
tion, since that category suffered a score loss of lfl.7$.
Again, as a group, these raters do not make a distinction
between weakness in Content and weakness in Organization.
5.

The raters scored themes weakened in respect to

Diction in a manner which produced an average score loss
of i|-2.8 in that category, a loss greater by almost 7$ than

the next greatest loss In any of the other four categories.
Therefore, it would seem that these raters detect weaknesses
in Diction and use the proper category to record their judg­
ments,
6 , Although the rating form is a list of five
categories to be regarded as discrete and of equal weight,
It Is not so regarded by these twenty-five raters.

In

practice, the raters score a theme on the basis of three
categories:

l) a combination of Conventions of Grammar and

Sentence Structure, 2) Diction and 3) a combination of
Organization and Content,
7, Apparently placing first on the rating form the
category In which weaknesses are most easily detected causes
these raters to score the following categories with a
severity of the same order as the sequence of the other four
categories.

This pattern i3 illustrated in the fact that

the raters, judging themes weakened in respect to Conventions
of Grammar, so scored these themes that Conventions of
Grammar suffered an average score loss of %Q,d%; Sentence
Structure, 1^8.1%; Diction, 37*8$; Organization, 33*3^; and
Content, 31,5^«

A STUDY OF RATINGS OF COMPREHENSIVE EXAMINATION
THEMES WHEN CERTAIN ELEMENTS ARE WEAKENED

By
Robert W. Starring

A Thesis
Submitted to the School of Graduate Studies of Michigan
State College of Agriculture and Applied Science
in partial fulfillment of the requirements
for the degree of
DOCTOR OF EDUCATION

August, 1952

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The author wishes to express his sincere thanks to
the staff of Communication Skills for their cooperation
in scoring the themes of this study, and to the many
students in his classes whose help was indispensable.

VITA
Robert William Starring
candidate for the degree of
Doctor of Education
Final examination, August 2, 19!?2,
Dissertation:

A, M,, Morrill Hall

A Study of Ratings of Comprehensive
Examination Themes When Certain
Elements Are Weakened

Outline of Studies
Major Subject:
Minor Subject:

Higher Education
General Linguistics (Speech)

Biographical Items
Born, December 2, 1908, Kalamazoo, Michigan
Undergraduate Studies, Western Michigan College of
Education, 1926 - 30
Graduate Studies, University of Michigan, 1932-3
Michigan State College, 19^4-0-52
Experience:

Saline, Michigan High School, 1930-1,
Sturgis High School, 1935-1+19 Assistant
Professor and Head of Department of Speech
University of Omaha,
Instructor
In Written and Spoken English and Speech,
19I4J4--I4-6 , Assistant Professor in Written
and Spoken English, Michigan State College
191+.6 -

TABLE OP CONTENTS
CHAPTER
I.

PAGE

THE PROBLEM AND METHODS OP THE STUDY . . . .
The problem

1

. • • • • .......... • • • •

1

Statement of the problem
Importance of the study
Method of this study

II.

III.

1
. . • • • • • •

1

.......... • • • •

3

Weakening elements In the themes • • • •

3

Rating the weakened versions • • • • • •

I}.

REVIEW OP THE LITERATURE............

5

Methods of measuring composition skills. •

6

Studies related to this work

7

........

.................

13

Writing the original themes........... ...

13

Procedure in rating the themes

ll|-

SOURCE OP MATERIALS

. .

........
.

The rating f o r m ....................

IV.

18

Training of rating personnel ............

19

Selection of cases for this study. . . . .

2l\.

PREPARATION OF THE WEAKENED VERSIONS . . . .

27

Division of the 150 cases into five
equal g r o u p s

• • • •

27

Principles controlling the weakening of
the five e l e m e n t s ................. ...

30

Writing the weakened versions. • • • • • •

31

Conventions of Grammar

..........

32

V

CHAPTER

PAGE
Sentence S t r ucture

• • • •

Diction

..........

Organization
Content

if7

.................

• • • • .........

L|-0

•• • • • •

Sb-

65

Mechanics of obtaining the final form
of the weakened v e r s i o n s ..........
V.

•

RATING OF THE WEAKENED VERSIONS AND
INTERPRETATION OP R E S U L T S ..............

78

Rating the weakened versions

. . . • • •

78

• • • • • • • • • •

80

Tabulation of scores

Interpreting the r e s u l t s ............
VI.

75

99

SUMMARY, CONCLUSIONS, AND IMPLICATIONS
OF THIS S T U D Y ...............................
S u m m a r y ............

• • • • •

102
102

Conclusions • • • • . . ....................
Implications of this Study
BIBLIOGRAPHY .

• • • • • • •

...............................

103
106

10

LIST OF TABLES
TABLE

I.
II,

PAGE

Element Score A v e r a g e s ...................
Scores of Themes Weakened in Respect
to Conventions of G r a m m a r ............

III.

. . . . . . . . .

. • • • • • • • • • « •

91

Scores of Themes Weakened in Respect
to Content

VII.

88

Scores of Themes Weakened in Respect

to Organization
VI.

85

Scores of Themes Weakened in Respect
to D i c t i o n ........................

V.

82

Scores of Themes Weakened in Respect
to Sentence Structure

IV.

29

........................

9^4-

Averages of Scores of Original and
Weakened Versions, Showing Score
Loss in Percentage....................

98

CHAPTER I
THE PROBLEM AND METHOD OF THE STUDY
I.

The Problem

Statement of the problem.

In the Department of

Written and Spoken English-*-, Basic College, Michigan State
College, the comprehensive examination has consisted of
three parts, 1 ) a machine-scored examination, 2 ) a fourminute speech, 3 ) and a theme, all administered by the
Board of Examiners^ of Michigan State College.

The staff o

Written and Spoken English has served as raters of the spee
and theme parts of the examination.

It is with the ratings

of the written compositions that this study is concerned*
The purpose of this study was to find out how the staff
used its rating form in scoring these comprehensive ex­
amination themes.
Importance of the study.

The grading of great

numbers of English compositions written by students in

1 This title was officially changed July 1, 1952
to Department of Communication Skills.
2 As of July 1, 1952 the Board of Examiners became
a department of the Basic College.

required courses has made necessary the search for a de­
fensible system of scoring these products.

This has been

particularly the case in the Department of Written and
Spoken English, a three-term course required of all students
in their first two years at Michigan State College.

This

theme scoring has become a matter of considerable importance
when one considers the great numbers of readers and themes
involved.

For instance, in the spring term of 19^9 approx­

imately twenty-one hundred themes were written as part of
the comprehensive examination, themes which had to be read
and scored by the staff in a period of one week.
In an attempt to get defensible scores for these
compositions the department has used since its beginning a
rating form (not a scale) which has changed very little
since December of 19^4-, when the first comprehensive exam­
ination was administered.

This five-category rating form

was arbitrarily devised by a committee of the Department
of Written and Spoken English in November of l9Ml- and has
undergone little change since that time.

Because the theme

scores produced by this instrument have contributed approx­
imately one-third of the total raw score of the comprehensive
examination, it is reasonable that a careful study be made

3
of the instrument with which these written compositions
are scored.
II.

Method Of This Study

Weakening; elements in the themes.

The rating form

consisted of five categories of composition elements, which
allowed a paper to be rated from 1 - 10 in each category, a
system which yielded maximum and minimum total scores of
fifty and five, respectively.

The five categories were:

1) Conventions of G-rammar, 2) Sentence Structure, 3) Dic­
tion, Ij.) Organization, and 5>) Content.

It was decided to

weaken samples of comprehensive examination themes in res­
pect to the categories of the rating form, and to have
these weakened versions rated three years later by the same
staff personnel.

Accordingly, 150 comprehensive examination

themes of May, 19U9 were chosen from the whole batch of 2100
for the study.

The method consisted of weakening thirty

themes in respect to Conventions of Grammar, thirty in res­
pect to Sentence Structure, thirty in respect to Diction,
thirty in respect to Organization, and thirty in respect to
Content.

Then, over a period of approximately two years,

these weakened versions were copied by students whose

J

k
handwriting closely resembled that of the original version
in order that handwriting quality might be eliminated as a
variable when the weakened versions were rated.
Rating the weakened versions.

In May of 1952 these

15?0 weakened versions were rated by twenty-four Written
and Spoken English staff members, twenty-one of whom had
participated in rating the original papers in 19i}-9 *

The

other three had had at least two years of experience in
rating comprehensive examination themes in the department.
The rating of the weakened versions in 1952 was controlled
In that all details of scoring were identical to those of

19k9.

CHAPTER II
REVIEW OP THE LITERATURE
After examining the literature of English composi­
tion as a school subject the following characteristics
have been observed:

1 ) of the materials published in

theses, professional and learned journals, bulletins, and
textbooks, the greatest proportion of material is con­
cerned with teaching methods, establishing goals and stand­
ards, and with course content; 2 ) of those materials which
deal with the measurement of written composition the pre­
ponderance of research has been In the fields of elementary
and secondary education; and 3 ) the studies of objective
measurement of composition have been greater In number
between 1912 and 1926 than from 1926 to the present date.
The reason for this dearth of objective studies
probably can be explained in the difficulty inherent in
the task of judging objectively such a subjective phenom­
enon as symbolic formulation.

On this point Greene^

1 Harry A. Greene, Albert N. Jorgensen, and J. Ray­
mond Gerberich, Measurement and Evaluati on in the Secondary
School (New York: Longmans, Green and Company, 19^4-6), p7 310.

says that difficulty of measuring written composition
objectively comes from the great complexity of the skills
involved in writing good compositions and from the lack of
consistency with which these skills have been recognized.
The greater number of studies before 1926 might be
explained by the widening of the measurement of results of
instruction to the broader field of evaluation.

Pertinent

to this assumption Travers^ states that from about 1928 the
emphasis has shifted from the measurements of the outcomes
of instruction in English composition to the evaluation of
these outcomes, because the term evaluation involves more
than measurement and implies an assessment of the values
inherent in the system of instruction.
Methods of Measuring Composition Skills.
The methods of measuring excellence of written
composition seem to fall into three main categories:
1 ) grading the total merit of a writing by individual
judgement; 2 ) using a rating form or check list in which
scored elements yield a total value; and 3 ) the use of

2 Robert M. VV. Travers, ’'The evaluation of the
Outcomes of Teaching in English,11 (unpublished paper read
before the Michigan Conference in Higher Education at Ann
Arbor, Michigan, January, 19^4-7)*

composition scales.

The first method is represented in the

literature by relatively few contributions, and those are
of a philosophical nature not related to this study.

Rating

forms, or check lists probably are best represented in the
English composition tests of the College Entrance Examination
Board.

Noyes^ reports the elaborate method of training

readers to use the check-list-point-score system in grading
English composition for the College Entrance Examination
Board.

Stalnaker^- reports a reliability of .90 of grades

obtained for all College Entrance Board Examinations.

The

reliability of grades obtained in the English examination
was •Sl(_, but it is to be noted that this examination con­
sisted of areas besides that of composition.
Studies related to this wo rk.

It is within the

area of composition scales that materials related to this
study were found.

Remmers defines the scale as ". • • . a

set of samples or specimens of pupil behavior car* of Its

3 E. S. Noyes, "Recent Trends of the Comprehensive
Examination In English", Educational Record, Supplement
Number 13. Volume 21 (19^4-01 p p • 107-119.
I4. J. M. Stalnaker, "Essay Examinations Reliably
Read", School and Society Lj.6 : 671-672 (1937).

products, arranged in order of merit, difficulty, or rarity,
with which pupil behavior is to be compared.11^
The list of composition scales is rather comprehen­
sive, including such instruments as the following:^

RiceTs

Scale. the Hillegas Scale. BallouTs Harvard - Newton Scales,
Thorndike's Extension of the Hillegas Scale t Trabue1s Nassau
County Supplement to the Hillegas Scale, the Breed and
Frostic Scale, the Willing Scale, Van Wagenen* s Minnesota
English Composition Scales, the Hudelson Scale, and the
Lewis Scales,
Of the studies concerning the derivation, use, and
improvement of composition scales one is of particular
relevance to this study,

the famous ”91" Study by Hudelson

in the Twenty-Second Yearbook of the National Society for
the Study of Education.

In this work Hudelson waited to

discover in detail what composition factors theme raters

H.
ment and Evaluation,
p. 21^7"

H. Remmers, and N, L. Gage, Educational
(New York; Harper and Brothers, 19^4-3) •

consider, and how much importance they place on these
factors*7

In seeking answers to these questions Hudelson

used the technique of M spoiling” or mutilating certain
elements in selected student compositions*
In this "91" study seven original student themes
of known value and of varying degrees of merit were
“spoiled” in twelve different ways, one at a time*

Thus,

with the original versions, there were 91 versions in all*
The broad areas to be defined were thought, structure, and
mechanics.

These areas were analyzed into their component

parts, numbering twelve in all.

These analyzed elements

were described in the following listing:®
1*

Original versions*

2,

Original versions, with clearness obscured.

3.

Original versions, with unit3r violated,

!{..

Original versions revamped into incomplete
sentences.

7 Earl Hudelson, The Twenty-Second Yearbook of the
National Soci ety for the Study of Education* Part
(Bloomington, Illinois: Public School Publishing Company,
1922), pp. 20 - 30.
8 Ibid., pp. 21 - 22.

10
5.

Original versions, containing difficult words
mi sspelled.

6.

Original versions, expressed in "staccato"
sentences•

7.

Original versions, rendered grammatically
faulty*

8*

Original versions, "stepped up" into ornate
diction*

9*

Original versions, improved generally.

10.

Original versions, containing easy words mis­
spelled.

11.

Original versions, expressed in run-on sentences.

12.

Original versions, embodying words in their
wrong form.

13.

Original versions, faulty as to punctuation and
cap i tal i za ti on .

Scientific methods were used to make all mutilations
equally serious.9
The rating of these themes was accomplished by 150 or
more carefully trained judges, who had an average deviation
of not more than .5>, or one complete step on the Hudelson
scale.

One-half of the judges scored the ninety-one themes

in a given order, while the other half scored them in reverse

9 Ibid., p. 22.

11
order.

All the judges were instructed to rate these themes

by three methods:

1 ) on a percentage basis (0-100), assum­

ing that the themes were written by ninth-grade pupils;
2 ) on a percentage basis, assuming that the themes were
written by twelfth-grade pupils; and 3) using the Nassau
County Composition Scale,9
Among the conclusions Hudelson drew from the "91"
Study were the following:
1, Lack of clearness is considered the
most serious defect in composition. Other
structural weaknesses and punctuation and
capitalization errors are also considered
major offenses.
2, The most obvious qualities in com­
position are the most influential determiners
of theme scores,
3, Teachers agree upon the value of very
good or very poor writing more closely than they
do upon the value of mediocre composition,10
This brief review of the literature of the measurement
of merit in written composition, then, is concerned chiefly

9 Trabue1s Nassau County Supplement to the Hillegas
Scale, in which the unit of quality is the difference of
quality that was recognized by exactly 75 per cent of the
original judges and not recognized by the other 25 P©r* cent.
10 Hudelson* op, clt., p* 30

with scales in the first twenty-odd years of this century.
There has been a notable lack of research in the use of
rating-forms, or check-lists as instruments of measurement.
For these reasons it is felt that there is a need for
contemporary research involving the use of a rating form
used to score merit of written composition on the college
level.

Therefore, this study has been undertaken to help

supply information where such research has been sparse.

CHAPTER III
SOURCE OP MATERIALS
I,

Writing the original theme.

The comprehensive

examination themes used in this study have been selected
from those written in the spring term of 19I4.9 *

At this

time approximately twenty-one hundred students enrolled in
Written and Spoken English of the Basic College participated
in this comprehensive examination.

The examinees all wrote

at the same time, on the same topic, writing on official 8^- x
11 examination paper of a single fold with the following
heading:
Student Number
Date

........ ...............
NAME OF EXAMINATION

Name........... ........ .
Printed Last First Middle
Student#NoI...... Date.....
Signature

Board of Examiners

Form BE-1

The right upper half of this heading was perforated
so that this portion could be torn out after the Board of
Examiners had stamped serial numbers on each part of this
heading.

The perforated part was then torn out and filed

Illfor the personal identification of each paper, and to
preserve anonymity in the theme ratings.

Each examinee

was allowed to bring a dictionary and his own pen and ink.
Apart from the official theme paper and scratch paper pro­
vided by the Board of Examiners, the student had recourse
to no other materials or aids.
for writing this composition.

Two hours were allowed
According to customary prac­

tice the staff of the department of Written and Spoken
English served as proctors.
The topic assigned for this particular comprehensive
examination of May 23, 19^4-9 was printed on a loose sheet
and supplied to each writer.

The exact wording and form

of the assignment was:
Written & Spoken English
Comprehensive Examination - Spring, 191-4-9
TOPIC FOR ESSAY
"GOVERNMENT"
Choose some aspect of this topic and
write 300-500 words. You may write either
an expository or persuasive paper.
II.

Procedure in rating the themes.

While the

staff of Written and Spoken English scored these themes,
the Board of Examiners had the responsibility of adminis­
tering the details - organization of rating teams, packaging

15
of sets, supplying rating instructions for rating, and
recording the results,
A rating team consisted of three members, two firstreaders and a chairman.

Since there were approximately

twenty-one hundred themes to be scored in May, 1914-9* there
were twenty teams needed, with about one hundred and five
papers per team.

Packets containing these sets were dis­

tributed to the raters with the following instructions from
the Board of Examiners:
To Theme Raters
Please pass your first set of themes to the second
rater by _____

, and your second set of themes

to the chairman of your rating team b y ____________

•

If you can work ahead of this schedule, do so and give your
chairman more time for rereading and for totaling scores
for the rating sheets.

(Give the rating sheets to the

chairman as soon as a set of themes has been read.)
Each envelope contains themes and rating sheets.
There are enough rating sheets in each envelope for one
rater in judging two sets of themes; therefore, it is not
necessary for you to pass on rating sheets to the second
reader.

Just send the themes on.

However, if you have

extra rating sheets, put them in the examiner*s mail box.

Please write on the rating sheets:
1.

Your name as a rater, in the lower left-hand
corner of the sheet,
(Do not use initials.)

2.

The stamped (serial) number on the theme,
in the upper left-hand corner of the sheet.

3*

The date.

ij..

Your total score, in the lower right-hand
corner of the sheet.
To Chairmen of Theme Rating Teams

All themes and rating sheets should be returned to
the Written and Spoken English main office by ___________

Please place the rating sheets for each student
together and total the scores made in the right-hand
margin of one of the rating sheets, as follows:
1.

If the two raters of each paper agree within

five points (i.e., if there is no more than five points
difference between their scores), these two scores are added
and become the student's final score on the essay.

Papers

scored, for example, 20 and 25, or I4.O and I4.5 do not there­
fore, have to be re-read.

For instance, if a paper has been

rated I4.5 and ip., these two scores are entered on the righthand margin of one of the rating sheets and totaled, the 86

17
resulting being the student*s total score on the essay.
2.

If the two raters disagree by more than five

points, the paper has to be re-read by the chairman.
When three scores are available for these moot papers, the
scoring proceeds as follows:
(a)

If it is found that any two of the three

readers now agree within five points, the paper
is given the total of these two closer scores, as
was done above.

For example:

in the case of I4.O,

35, and 28, ignore the 28 and add lj.0 and 35 for a
total score of 75*
(b)

If none of the three scores is within five

points of another, take the average of the three
grades and double it.

For example:

if scores of

I4-O, 32, and 21 are obtained, the average is 31 •
Multiplying 31 by two yields 62 as the total
score.

In case of fractions, give the score the

benefit of any fractional value over a half.
Following these directions, then, each paper was
read independently by at least two raters, and by a third
where there was a disagreement of five points or more
between the first two readers.

This score on the compre­

hensive examination theme, added to the scores of the speech

18
and objective testa, yielded the total raw score Tor the
whole comprehensive examination.
III.

The rating form.

This form, a list of five

broad elements of composition, has been used by the depart­
ment since 19l|-6 and represents only a minor change from the
original one of

Its form and content can be represented

in the following device:
THEME RATING SCALE1
Name and/or N u m b e r ................

Date....... .

_______________________ Superior________________ Unsatisfactory
_________________________ 10

9

8

7

6

5

l

i

3

2

1

Conventions of Grammar________________________________________
Sentence Structure____________________________________________
Dicti on__________________ _____________________________________
Qrganlzation__________________________________________________
Content_______________________________________________________
R a t e r .......

7 and

1 The word "scale" here is a misnomer.
8 for definition of scale.

T o t a l ...... .

See pages

19
It is important to note here that the order of the
elements to be rated has remained the same in this form,
Ibe rating form as shown in the course syllabus^ carries
an order which has not appeared on actual rating forms
used by the department.

Since there is no zero point in

this instrument, the lowest possible single rating Is a
total score of five.
rating Is fifty.

The maximum total score of a single

Thus the minimum and maximum total scores

yielded by two raters are scores of 10 and 100, respectively.
This rating form, then, used in scoring the comprehensive examination theme has been a table of five equallyweighted composition elements, each offering a scoring
range of one to ten points.
IV.

Training of rating personnel.

The customary

practice of the Department of Written and Spoken English
has been to hold weekly staff-meetings, alternating reg­
ularly between business meetings and in-service programs.
The in-service programs have been planned by a permanent
committee, whose job it was to bring before the staff such

2 Written and Spoken English Syllabus, Fifth
Revision, Sixth Edition (Michigan State College Press,
19S0), p. 17.

20

speakers, discussion groups, reports and materials which
would help the staff to understand better the problems
involved in teaching the course*
Since the beginning of these in-service programs
in 19^+ approximately six one-and-one-half-hour periods
per year have been devoted to the study of rating written
composition.

At these meetings duplicated copies of

actual student writing have been distributed to the staff.
Generally these compositions represented (in the judgment
of the rating committee) examples of poor, fair, and good
writing.

Each member of the staff was supplied with

copies of the several specimens and of the previously dis­
cussed rating forms.

Without any special directions, and

without inordinate discussion beforehand, the members of
the entire staff rated these themes independently, just
as they would in regular practice.
After the individual ratings had been completed,
the results were studied by recording on a master form on
the board all the raters' scores of the five categories
for each paper.

After the group average for each of the

five elements had been computed, those individuals whose
scores deviated extremely from this measure of central

21

tendency were asked to explain on what basis they made their
judgments*

It was at this point that differences in stand­

ards and the ability to discriminate among the elements or
the rating form were made evident*

The chairman of the pro­

gram moderated the discussion to try to achieve greater
agreement among the raters.
After about three or four meetings of this kind
during 19l+i4.-ij-5? it was discovered that a more comprehensive
definition of the categories of the rating form was needed.
Although such definitions had previously been printed in
the syllabus of Written and Spoken English, the discussion
of dissenting raters in these in-service meetings revealed
that these definitions needed revision and that further
practice was needed in their application to the problem
of rating written composition.
Accordingly several committees in the department
worked together to produce a more comprehensive analysis
of the five elements of the rating form.

This analysis

appears in the latest revision of the syllabus as follows:
CONVENTIONS OP GRAMMAR

Conventions of grammar refers to such matters
as reasonable spelling, correct punctuation at

22

major junctures, the usual grammatical agreements
(subject-verb, pronoun-antecedent), and the correct
use or possessives*
It refers also to the avoidance
of sentence fragments, comma faults, period faults,
and dangling modifiers.
SENTENCE STRUCTURE
Effective sentence structure means the strategic
use of such things as the periodic sentence, sub­
ordination, and parallelism.
It means that by a
variety in sentence length, In sentence structure,
and In sentence order, monotony and childishness
of expression may be avoided and variety and maturity
of expression achieved.
It means sentences which
are free from awkwardness and obscurity.
It means
that successful attention has been given to the re­
quirements of sentence euphony and rhythm.
DICTION
Good diction means the use of words well chosen
to express the writer1s meaning.
It means the
avoidance of expressions which are crude or trite,
of wordiness, of pompousness.
It means the use of
accepted idioms, of expressions which are vigorous
and alive, of the specific and concrete in preference
to the general and abstract.
ORGANIZATION
The size of the topic should fit the length
of the paper.
The theme as a whole should have a
single, controlling idea or purpose, expressed or
clearly Implied, to which each part of the theme
contributes.
Each paragraph should be recognizable
as a unit (I.e. developing a single topic or subtopic) in the development of the theme.
The ideas

23
presented should be smoothly and logically linked
together.
Such linking is achieved by a recogniz­
able pattern or development and by the use or such
transitional devices as the connective, parallelism,
pronoun rererence, and repetition. By the use or
such things as position, proportion, and repetition,
that which is or most importance in the theme should
be made to seem so to its reader.
CONTENT

Content rerers to the quality and adequacy of
the substantiating material (examples, statistics,
arguments) employed in support or ideas expressed
in the paper. A theme or college caliber should
concern itseir with matter worthy or adult con­
sideration and express a reasonably mature point
or view.3
Arter the above derinitions or each element or the
rating rorm had been produced,

they were duplicated and

distributed to starr members or Written and Spoken English
in the theme-rating sessions or the in-service programs*
Up to this writing there have been no published studies or
theme rating in this department, and therefore no exact
statements can be made concerning how the starr uses its
rating rorm.

However,

several general observations drawn

from in-service theme-rating sessions or Written and
Spoken English starr since 19^4-8 might be made.

3 Ibid.* pp. 17-18

l) When

2l|theme raters had with them the definitions of the elements
of the rating form, they have seemed to spend less time
discussing which category should be used to reflect their
judgments of certain weaknesses in composition.

2) Con­

tinued practice in using the theme rating form has not
seemed to produce much agreement as to standards of excel­
lence within the elements, especially in conventions of
grammar and in content.

3)

A minority of raters have

continued to allow one discovered weakness of composition
to influence their scoring of categories in the rating
form not related to this weakness.

This has often occurred

when a rater has rated a theme low in Conventions of Grammar.
Such a tendency might indicate that some raters have not
agreed that the equal weighting of the five elements of the
rating form can yield a total score consonant with their
standards of excellence of written composition.
V.

Select!on of cases for this study.

Before the

production of weakened versions of the themes of the 19^-9
comprehensive examination could be effected, the problem
of choosing the cases had to be considered.

This problem

involved two major desiderata, finding papers on which
there was the best agreement among the raters, and finding

25
papers which would allow a downward scoring range for the
rating of weakened versions.

The range of total scores

for these twenty-one hundred themes was 98 - 11* the possible
maximum and minimum scores being 100 and 10, respectively.
In reviewing the scoring procedure in Section II
of this chapter it can be seen that when the two firstreaders disagree on a paper by more than five score points,
they pass the paper on to their chairman for a third
reading.

If the third reader disagrees with either of

the first two by more than five score points, he uses
twice the average of the three scores to compute the total
score.

It would seem desirable to select only those cases

whose total scores represent the sum of two agreeing
raters, since such scores seem to be the most defensible
ones in this system of rating.
Papers at the lower end of the range of [|-0 - 11
were rejected for this study because such low scores would
permit a very limited range downward in rating the weakened
versions.

It was decided to examine the distribution of

cases in the two total score ranges of 98 - 78 - and 77 - i}-l.
In the first range there were l6l papers, with eleven cases
of moot total scores.

In the second range there were 1789

papers.

By sampling every tenth score sheet in this latter

range, fifty-nine moot cases were found.

In the range

98 - 78, then eleven papers, or about 7$ of the cases would
have had to be rejected.

In the range 77 -

five hundred

and ninety cases, or about 30$ of the cases would have had
to be rejected.

In view of these findings It was decided

to select the papers In the range of 98 ** 78.

By rejecting

the eleven moot cases, 150 themes remained as cases for
this study.

CHAPTER IV
PREPARATION OP THE WEAKENED VERSIONS
I.
groups.

Division of the 150 cases into five equal

Chapter III has described how the 150 cases for

this study had been selected.

The next problem was to

determine what themes of this total number were to be
weakened in respect to each of the categories of the rating
form.

Two assumptions governed this choice:

l) there

should be the same number of compositions weakened in
respect to each category, and 2 ) if a paper showed from the
original ratings that one category of a case had been rated
as low as, or lower than, any other category in this writing,
that case should be further weakened in respect to that
already low-scored category.

For example, a paper might

have received the following average scores in each of the
five categories:

Conventions of Grammar = 5*S’* Sentence

Structure = 6.0, Diction s= 6.5, Organization = 8.5, and
Content = 9*0.

This case, then, should be weakened in

respect to Conventions of Grammar.
There seems to be an argument to support the as­
sumption that the weakest element of an original paper

should be further weakened to produce the second version
of that paper.

First, all scores of these papers have

been determined by a group of trained raters who have
seemed to score some elements in the papers lower than
other elements.

If weakened versions were to be returned

to them for re-rating, these versions should contain a
further weakening of those elements which they have al­
ready recognized by scoring them lower than the other
elements.

Secondly, if weak elements are further weakened

there would be less danger of accidentally mutilating
other elements.

Therefore, this technique would seem to

produce versions likely to be accepted by the raters as
real specimens of actual writing, rather than artificial
products.
Guided by this principle of further weakening
already weak elements, it was necessary to examine the
tabulated results of the original ratings to see whether
among these lj?0 selected cases there could be found 30
papers scored weakest in Conventions of Grammar; 30 in
Sentence Structure; 30, in Diction; 30, in Organization;
and 30, In Content. This search was implemented by going
through all the rating sheets and checking them in respect

29
to their lowest rated element.

Then these sheets were

sorted into five piles, each pile representing those
papers in which one element had been scored lower than,
or as low as, the other elements on which the paper had
been judged.
After several sortings of the rating sheets a
satisfactory grouping was found so that there were 30
cases in each group.

In the following table the group

numbers designate sets of 30 papers; the scores under
the elements are the average scores of the five elements
within each group.
ELEMENT SCOKE AVERAGES

Group

Conv.
of Gr.

Sent.
Struct.

Dict.

Org.

Content

1

6.8

8.1

8.2

9.0

9.2

2

CD
•
ro

TABLE I.

Z-.1

8.5

9.1

9.0

3

8.0

8.3

2*2

9.2

C\J
«
CO

k-

8.6

8.6

8.6

8.6

8.9

5

8.Li-

8 .k

8 .14-

8.L|-

1*1

Inspection of Table I shows that the specifications

3°
set up for the division of the 15>0 cases into five equal
groups have been met,

Therefore, the themes of group one

have been weakened in respect to Conventions of Grammar;
the themes in group two have been weakened in respect to
Sentence Structure, etc,, since one element in each group
has been scored lower than, or as low as, any of the other
elements in that group of cases,
II,
elements.

Principles controlling the weakening of the five
In producing the weakened versions of the selected

150 cases, these considerations have guided this author*s
re-writing of the original versions:

1) The quality of the

weakening has been determined by the definitions of each
element as found in the Written and Spoken English Syllabus ;-*•
2) care has been taken to prevent a ,!spilling-over11 of the
weakening into other elements; 3) the quality of the weak­
ness of the low-scored element in each theme has been
carefully analyzed so that qualities extraneous to the
nature of the original paper were not introduced; and 1^.) there
has been no attempt to control exactly the quantity of

1 Written and Spoken English Syllabus, Fifth Re
vision, Sixth Edition X Michigan ktate College Press,
1950), pp. 17 - 18.

31
weakening, since there is no basic point in the system of
rating which might serve as an origin of known value from
which quantity can be measured*

Even though the weakening

has not been scientifically controlled as to quantity, care
has been taken to avoid such inordinate mutilation as might
make the weakened versions seem artificial.
III.

Writing the weakened versions.

In order to

abide by the guiding principles set down in Section II
of this chapter it has been necessary to pay particular
attention to one of them - the definition of the elements
of composition found in the Written and Spoken English
Syllabus.

It will be noticed that these definitions

are written in paragraphs of continuous discourse, a
kind of writing which made analysis into their components
difficult.

To make these definitions clearer they have

appeared in outline form throughout this chapter.^

2 To test the validity of these definitions in out
line form, they have been used in theme-rating sessions
of the regular in-service meetings to complement the
definitions in the syllabus. The behavior of raters
has seemed to indicate that the content of these outlines
has faithfully represented the points in the syllabus.

A.

Conventions of Grammar

The thirty themes^ selected for weakening in respect
to Conventions of Grammar have been analyzed in this
study on the basis of the following outline of the defini­
tion of Conventions of Grammar as found in the syllabus:
1.

Reasonable spelling and capitalization.

2.

Correct punctuation at major junctures.

3.

The usual grammatical agreements (subjectverb, pronoun-antecedent)•

I4..

Correct use of possessives.

5.

Avoidance of:
a. Sentence fragments.
b. Comma faults.
c. Period faults.
d. Dangling modifiers.

The purpose of analyzing these thirty themes was
to discover in each case what elements in the category
of Conventions of Grammar had been violated.

After the

quality of these violations had been determined, these in­
dividual themes were revised so that these discovered
weaknesses would be amplified.

This further weakening

has been so contrived that the revision would not pro­
duce errors which might be construed by the raters

3 See Table II, pages 82-8I4. for their original
serial numbers.

as belonging in one of the other four major categories*
To that end no new material has been added, nor has any
original material been deleted from the themes In the cases
of Conventions of Grammar, Sentence Structure, and Diction*
If new material were added for the sake of producing more
errors in subject-verb agreement, for example, this new
writing might be judged by the re-raters in respect to
Sentence Structure, or Content, etc*

Similarly, if origi­

nal material were deleted, that material might have been
judged originally In respect to Content.

Careful atten­

tion, then, has been paid to the production of new errors
to magnify only those weaknesses already present in the
papers, by revising sentences, phrases, and words which
the writer of the original theme had set down himself*
Also, in the process of this revision to produce more
errors in the themes, the degree of seriousness of these
new errors has been restrained so that obviously artifi­
cial writing might be avoided*
In the section that follows examples of manufactured
errors or weakness are represented under the headings of
the several elements of the broad category Conventions of
Grammar.

Of course, the examples have been taken out of

their contexts, but they serve to illustrate the method

3k
of revision to produce weakened versions of the original
themes*

The number following the example is the original

serial number of the composition from which the example
was taken.

In the following examples the material from

the original version precedes
I*

its weakened counterpart.

Reasonable spelling and capitalization.

(A) Reasonable spelling:
1 * believe - beleive (1577)
2 . depression - deppression (lij-78)
3 . council - consule (136I4-)
4.. tragedy - tradgedy (821)
5 * democracy - democratcy (1770)
0 . paid - payed (150)
7* balances - ballences (1636)
8 . concept - consept (518)
9 * whether - wheather (1599)
10. eccentric - ecsentric (256)
(B) Capitalization:
1 . ...this country of ours...this
Country of ours...(217)
2 . ...communism (in the general sense)...
Communi sm (1599)
...to make politics...to make Politics (5l8)
Constitution (of U.S.A.) ...constitution
(1636)
5. Declaration of Independence ... declaration
of independence (310)
6 . Athenian athenian (5l8)
7. ...what we call countries today
...what we call Countries today (623)
8 . ...on the south side o f .......on the
South side of ... (11^79)
9. American Congressman ... American
congressman (1589)
10. Others learned ... (beginning of sentence)
...others learned ... (9^4-5 )

I

35
II*

Correct punctuation at m a .1or .junctures.

1.
The causes of Metternichs rise to power are
mainly thesej_ the absence of a solitary powerful ruling
force ....
The causes of Metternichs rise to power are
mainly these; the absence of a solitary powerful ruling
force...(8687
2*
system^

What is wrong with our present educational

What is wrong with our present educational
system^ (17^4-8 )
3.
...since I am limited to five hundred words
in this essayA it is apparent....
...since I am limited to five hundred words
in this essayj^ it is apparent...(310)
i^..

The communists^ however, are determined to...
The communistsj^ however are determined to..(1599)

5>.

How many even know the names of their congress­

men^
How many even know the names of their congressmen_i_ (1521)
6. The two political parties of paramount importance
in the .... 19th centuryA were the liberals....
The two political parties of paramount importance
in the .... 19th centuryj_ were the liberals....(1370;
7. This is definitely government "by the people"^
for they are the ones who....
This is definitely government "by the people"j_
for they are the ones who.• .. (lI|-35)
8 . One man makes the statement, "Those darn negroes,
they are all alike."
One man makes the statement, Those darn negroes,
they are all alike. (1593)

36
9*
•••such countries as England, Sweden, Brazil,
Germany and Greece^ where.•.«
•••such countries as England, Sweden, Brazil,
Germany and Greecej^ where. ...(15>00)
10, A representative was heard to say "Give them
another R. 0. T. C. and they..."
A representative was heard to say Give them
another R. 0, T. C. and they... (III4J4.)
III. The usual grammatical agreements
(sub.j ect-verb, pronoun-antecedentT~^
1 . ...none of the so-called authorities seemed
willing to assert himself on the question,
...none of the so-called authorities seemed
willing to assert themselves on the question. (llLpIp)
2. Whether these three goals can be attained through
governmental exchange scholarships remains to be seen.
Whether these three goals can be attained through
governmental scholarships remain to be seen. (15>00)
3.

In all walks of life there i_s government by the

people?
In all walks of life there are government by the
people? (llj.35)
[).. ...there were many conflicts....
...there was many conflicts.... (1370)
5. He has little time to think of such things.
him international government....
He has little time to think of such things.
them international government....(217)

To
To

6 . ...that the bureaucratic conditions of the govern­
ment has been a ....
...that the bureaucratic conditions of the govern­
ment have been a .... (821)
7. ...these three divisions of government are
necessary.
...these three divisions of government is.
necessary. (291)

37
8 . The
Ibelieve,
The
are. Ibelieve,
is,

9*
10.

way high
of vital
way high
of vital

schools or our country are governed
importance.
schools of our country are governed
importance. (136I4.)

The Greek was not interested...
The Greek were not interested. ..(5>l8)
The foundations of our government are strong.
The foundations of our government Is_ strong. (1I4.3O)
IV.

Correct use of possesslvesA

1 . ...to reduce the condition 1s seriousness.
...to reduce the conditions seriousness. (17^8 )
2 . ...and more readily appreciate its benefits.
...and more readily appreciate it’s benefits.(887)
3*

...we hear the speaker 1s solution to the problems.
...we hear the speakers solution to the problem 1s.

(1593)
V.

Avoidance of sentence fragments, comma faults,
period faults, and dangling modifiers.

1.
Under a program set up by our government In con
tion with several European governments^ students are selected
to....
Under a program set up by our government in conjunc­
tion with several European governments^ Students are selected
to ....(1500)

The three examples here are typical of all
produced errors in this section.
5 No cases of dangling modifiers were produced; to
do so would have necessitated writing additional content
which might influence Sentence Structure.

38
2. I think the spirit of* democracy can best be exem­
plified by the government of ancient Athens^ Here everyone...,
I think the spirit of democracy can best be exem­
plified by the government of ancient Athens, here everyone

....(981).

3.
spoiling^

In California oranges are lying in the fields
They are within sightof people....
In California oranges are lying in the fields
spoiling^ they are within sight of people....(I88l|_)

i|.. ...but feeling that It is enough is very wrongs
This is where Do-Democracy comes in.
...but feeling that it is enough is very wrongs
this is where Do-Democracy comes In. (15>93)
5. The merchandising business is practically all
governed "by the people"^ Buying and selling in any market
is.....
The merchandising business is practically all
governed Mby the people"^ buying and selling in any market
is.....(lip35)
6 . The result, was, that communities were represented,
which no longer were occupied^ while new communities had
no representation at all.
The result, was, that communities were represented,
which no longer were occupied^ While new communities had
no representation at all. (1370)
7. The fellows and girls in Europe have little hope
for the future^ They live....
The fellows and girls in Europe have little hope
for the future^ they live. ...(217)
8 . We can organize groups which
alleviating our frustrations and no one
for doing so^ We can own....
We can organize groups which
alleviating our frustrations and no one
for doing sOj_ we can own. •••( 1577)

will aid us in
will step on us
will aid us In
will step on us

39
9* There was no middle of the road this time^ They
had to choose*• ••
There was no middle of the road this timeA they
had to choose....(lI}-78)
10. A one man rule, such as that enjoyed by Louis
Johnson, is dangerous^, not only to the Navy but to the
entire nation as well.
A one man rule, such as that enjoyed by Louis
Johnson, Is dangerous^ Not only to the Navy but to the
entire nation as well. (892).

k-0
B.

Sentence Structure

The thirty themes^ chosen Tor weakening in res­
pect to Sentence Structure have been analyzed on the basis
of the following outline of the definitions of Sentence
Structure as found in the syllabus:
1.

Strategic use of:
(a) Periodic sentences.
(b) Subordination.
(c) Parallelism.

2.

Maturity of expression through:
(a)
Variety in sentence length.
(b)
Variety in sentence structure.
(c)
Variety in sentence order.
(d)
Freedom from:
1. Awkwardness.
2. Obscurity.

3.

Careful attention paid to:
(a) Sentence euphony.
(b) Rhythm.

Inspection of the elements of this definition shows
that there Is overlapping among the items.

For example,

maturity of expression may be achieved through attention
paid to all the elements In the definition.

This is

probably true because the word "maturity" denotes a qual­
ity difficult to define.

Freedom from awkwardness and

obscurity can be achieved by attention to proper subordi­
nation, parallelism (lexical and structural), etc.

This

6 See Table III, pages 85-8? for their original
serial numbers.

*4-1
overlapping of -the elements of the definition might be
explained by the fact that sentence structure and style
seem to be closely related and are difficult to analyze
into mutually exclusive components.

The definition of

Sentence Structure here seems to have been written in
terms of general symptoms of good writing,

rather than

in terras of the specific elements which are discovered in
effective composition.
Because of the vagueness with which the definition
treats Sentence Structure,

it was necessary in this study

to narrow this broad definition to fewer,
more easily recognized elements.

and perhaps

An examination of the

quality of weakness of sentence structure in the thirty
papers selected for revision showed that the major faults
could be classified under obscurity and improper (or lack
of) use of periodic sentences. The failure to use
periodic sentences was reflected in the tendency to write
long sentences,

the clauses of which were joined by

coordinating conjunctions,

or to write many short senten­

ces which could have been cast in periodic form, using
proper coordinating conjunctions and relative pronouns.
Since these two major weaknesses (obscurity and
failure to use periodic sentences) had been found

consistently throughout the thirty themes, these two
kinds of weakness have been the basis on which the
weakened versions were written*

It must be admitted

here that these two symptoms of weakness are still
overlapping.
The weakening of the papers in respect to sentence
structure is illustrated in the examples which follow.
The first entry in each item Is the original version; the
second entry, the weakened version.

The number in paren­

theses following the item is the serial number of the
paper from which the example was taken.
I.

Obscurity

1. Socialized medicine as it has been adapted in
England and how It is advocated here is always character­
ized by governmental red tape and bureaucratic inefficiency.
Socialized medicine as It has been adapted in
England and how it is advocated is always characterized
by governmental red tape and bureaucratic inefficiency
here. (913)
2. But doesn’t the fact that we can only have a
choice between a few men put up by political parties
make the first statement sound rediculousl
But doesn’t the fact that we can only have a choice
put up by political parties between a few men make the
first statement sound rediculousl (691)
3. Finally, after realizing the weaknesses of the
Articles of Confederation, a convention was called In
1787. The purpose of this convention was to amend the
Arti cles.

U-3
Finally, after realizing the weaknesses of the
Articles of Confederation, a convention was called in
1787, which the purpose of this convention was to amend
the Articles, (236)
1+. Then, too, there is the Klu Klux Klan, an
organization which frightens negroes away from the
polls during elections.
Then, too, there is the Klu Klux Klan, an
organization during elections which frightens negroes
away from the polls, (I4.O3 )
5>. With this principle
approach the problems that
With this principle
problems that confront our

in mind we can intelligently
confront our own people.
in mind we can approach the
own people intelligently, (ll|J.|.J.|.)

6 , The student council of this school is similar
to councils in the other schools in that it is composed
of two representatives from each class, which are elected
by the students.
The boys and girls serve on the council
for one year.
The student council of this school is similar to
councils in the other schools in that it is composed
of two representatives from each class, which are elected
by the students, which the boys and girls serve on for
one year, (1+14-3 )
7, However, there is no luxury tax on the pockets in
a pair of men’strousers. Performance of the same func­
tion becomes luxurious for the female and necessary for
the male•
However, there is no luxury tax on the pockets in
a pair of men's trousers. Performance of the same func­
tion becomes luxurious for the female and necessary for
the male as to pockets. (203)
8 , The points brought forth in this code are such
suggestions as contour plowing, terracing the land, the
use of marginal bands and wind-breakers, and many other
tips for the proper conservation of the soil.
The points brought forth in this code are such
suggestions as contour plowing, terrace the land, use
marginal lands and windbreakers and many other tips for
the proper conservation of the soil. (822)

IA

9* This process Is often time-consuming
general ignorance on the part of the people
parlimentary law.
This process is often time-consuming
parlimentary law's ignorance on the part of
(295)

due to the
concerning
concerning
the people.

10.
And the question formed from this statement
reads, "is this the beginning or the end"? Which will
it be?
And the question formed from this statement
reads, "is this the beginning or the end"? Which it
will be. (928)
II.

Failure to use periodic sentences
and/or proper subordination.

1. The next highest rating Is that of the engineering
officer, who hold the rate of chief engineman. He Is
responsible for all of the ships machinery, and he directs
the operation of the engine room at all times. (1^76).
The next highest rating is that of the engineering
officer. He holds the rate of chief engineman. He is
responsible for all of the ships machinery. He directs
the operation of the engine room at all times. (i|-76)
2. If a girl has gotten late minutes because of
some unavoidable situation, she may petition to AWS and
her case will be considered.
A girl may have gotten late minutes because of
some unavoidable situation, and she may petition to AWS
and her case will be considered. (llf03)
3. I went to my government teacher with a plan for
revision of the government class. My teacher discussed
the plan with me and made suggestions. He suggested that
I lay my plan on paper and....
I went to my government teacher with a plan for
revision of the government class and my teacher discussed
the plan with me and made suggestions and he suggested
that I lay my plan on paper and .... (IOI4.6 )

b-5
i|_. The executive branch of the national goverment is
headed by the president.
He has under him a cabinet
composed of ten men. Each cabinet member is responsible
to the president-The executive branch of the national government
is headed by the president and he has under him a cabinet
composed of ten men and each cabinet member is responsible
to the president
• (1517)
5. The conditions under which these serfs worked was
appalling. They lived in disreputable one-room huts,
with dirt floors, resembling a pig pen of today.
They
had no modern conveniences whatsoever.
The conditions under which these serfs worked was
appalling, and they lived in disreputable one-room huts,
with dirt floors, resembling a pig pen of today, and
they had no modern conveniences whatsoever.
(8?^-)
6 . Because of the great responsibility the strongmayor-type of city government puts on the individual,
the occupant of this office must be aggressive, far­
sighted, and intelligent.
This type of government puts great responsibility
on the individual, and the occupant of the office must
be aggressive, farsighted, and intelligent.
(1025)
7. Although there are many reasons which are in
support of my foregoing statement, I will present only
the three most important reasons. These reasons concern
first
.
There are many reasons which are in support of
my foregoing statement, and I will present only the
three most important reasons, and these reasons concern
first
. (l7i+7 )
8. We who today are witnessing one of the greatest
political upheavals in the history of the world have
come to think of government only as a gigantic organiza­
tion set up to run a huge nation or state.
We are today witnessing one of the greatest
political upheavals in the history of the world and
have come to think of government only as a gigantic
organization set up to run a huge nation or state. (830)

9* Since money is needed for this project, a bill
is drawn up to be presented in Congress*
Money is needed for this project and a bill is
drawn up to be presented in Congress. ( )
10. This substance contains a drug which has been
known to cause the death of several people---.
This substance contains a drug and it has been
known to cause the death of several people
. (1I4.92 )

k-7

C.

Diction

The thirty themes selected for weakening in
respect to Diction have been analyzed on the basis of the
following definition of Diction in the Written and Spoken
English Syllabus:
Good diction means the use of words well
chosen to express the writer’s meaning.
It
means the avoidance of expressions which are
crude or trite, of wordiness, of ponpousness.
It means the use of accepted idioms, of ex­
pressions which are vigorous and alive, of
the specific and concrete in preference to the
general and abstract .7
To facilitate the analysis of themes in this sec­
tion the above definition of Diction has been re-cast
into outline form which shows the qualities of diction
to be avoided.

These four qualities to be avoided are:

1. Poor choice of words to express the
wri ter’s meaning•
2. Use of expressions which are trite, wordy,
or pompous.
3.

Use of unidiomatic expressions.

[}.. Use of general and abstract instead of
specific and concrete words.
In weakening the thirty themes in respect to

7 Written and Spoken English Syllabus. Fifth
Revision, Sixth Edition (Michigan Sta"te College
Press), p. 17.

U-8
Diction, the principle of further weakening already
weak elements has been followed*

For example, if a

paper showed a tendency to use general instead of specific
words, that paper has been revised, changing specific
words to general ones; a paper which used unidiomatic
expressions has been further weakened by producing other
unidiomatic expressions; etc.

Again, as in the cases of

Conventions of Grammar and Sentence Structure, restraint
has been exercised in the weakening of diction to avoid
the production of obviously artificial writing.
The following samples of weakened diction have
been selected to show how the principle of weakening
has operated.

The first item of each pair is the sample

of the original version; the second item, the weakened
version.

The number in parentheses at the end of the pair

is the original serial number of the theme.®
I.

Poor choice of words to express
the wri ter* s meaning.

1.
There are three main types of governments in
the world today.
There are three main ways of governments in the
world today. (1027)

8 See Table IV pages 88- 90for their original serial
numbers.

2.
Bayer aspirin is another example of fraudulent
advertising by inference.
Bayer aspirin is another example of fraudulent
advertising by reference. (2009)
3* Only then can we maintain the
our predecessors strove so earnestly
Only then can we maintain the
our descendants strove so earnestly

harmony and ideals
to obtain.
harmony and ideals
to obtain.
(lllj.2 )

I}.. Therefore, private interests have wastefully
exploited our rescources to an extreme.
Therefore, private interests have wastefully
employed our rescourses to an extreme. (lL|_77)
5. In November
population of this
their government.
In November
population of this
their government.

of 19^4-8 nearly half of the eligible
country turned out to vote for
of 19^1-9 nearly half of the possible
country turned out to vote for
(lI|-56)

6 . In order that we may comprehend fully the effect
of "parental government11 on the adolescent, we must
understand that there is
no one "right" method of
governing a child’s life.
In order that we may apprehend fully the effect
of "parental government"
on the adolescent---• (1629)
7. Town meetings within the community are part of
our American heritage.
Town meetings within the community are part of
our American heirloom. (26I4-)
8 . Everything in the Communist State is responsible
to this party.
Everything in the Communist State is responsive
to this party. (1178)
9. These men were given responsibilities which they
assumed as well as the older men.
These men were given responsibilities which they
did as well as the older men. (167I+)

50
10.
Socialism is found in many parts of the world,
but the country that exemplifies this form of govern­
ment most eminently is England.
Socialism is found in many aspects of the world,
but the country that has this form of government most
eminently is England. (T626)
II.

Use of expressions which are trite,
wordy, or pompous.

1. You who read this essay are concerned too.
You who read this tome are concerned too. (10)4.3 )
2. Since we are living in a competetive world, it
is easy to see why there would be distrust among the
nations•
Since we are living In a competetive world, it
is easy to see why there would be distrust among the
nations at all times/ (1020)
3. For example, John Doe dislikes concerts, but his
wife loves them.
For example, John Doe despises concerts, but his
wife simply adores them.
(1562)
The
program of
The
program of
Lj_.

more efficient the group the better the
action will be.
more efficient the group the better the
action will be at all times. (1623)

5>. In order to be a good citizen of tomorrow, each
one should understand the problems that the state faces
today, for similar problems are likely to be faced in
the future.
In order to be a good citizen of tomorrow, each
one should understand the problems that the state faces
today, for similar problems are likely to be faced in the
future of tomorrow. (li|-83)
£>#
there is a feeling of hostility and resentment
in the child toward his parents.
there Is a feeling of hostility and resentment
in the child in regard to his parents. (1629)

51
7. I am going to take myself from this group and see
just what democracy means to me as an individual.
I am going to absent myself from this group and
see just what democracy means to me as regards an indi­
vidual. (1I4I1.3 )
8. The writers do not take into consideration that
this is a different age than their fathers lived in.
The writers do not take into consideration in
their minds that this is a different age than their
fathers dwelt in. (li|.06)
9. Every student must jump at her beck and call.
Every student must jump at her beck and call
at all times. (126)
10.
These laws would help to prevent filibuster
which is the biggest barricade to speedy law making.
These laws would help to prevent filibuster
which is the biggest barricade to speedy law making in
regard to legislation (I.50I4-)
III.

Use of unidiomatic expressions.

1. Another disadvantage to the american system is
that when a man is elected for a term of office weather
it is two, four or six years he will serve out his term
unless he dies or
•
Another disadvantage to the american system Is
that when a man is elected for a term of office weather
it is two, four or six years he will continue his term
unless he dies or------•(5oI|.)
-

2. These are a
few of the
methods
a citizen might
use during his campaign for a government office.
These are a few of the methods
a citizen might
use during his search for
a government office, (llf^lj.)
3.
States
90% of

The top 10?o of the
people living
Inthe
United
had a total income
equal to that
ofthe
other
the population.
The h-Tgh 1 0 % of the people living in the United
States had a total income equal to that of the other
90^ of the population. (1559)

£2
Ij.. Laws, governing the length or time
speak on the floor of Congress, should be
enforced.
Laws, governing the extent of time
speak on the floor of Congress, should be
enforced. (l^Ol^.)

a man can
made and
a man can
made and

5>. The Legislative body is made up of the Senate
and the House of Representatives.
The Legislative body is made up in the Senate
and the House of Representatives^ Cl029"T”
IV.

Use of general and abstract instead of
specific and concrete words.

1. I'd like to let you in on some good points
which have been experienced by myself and my family.
Id like to let you in on some good aspects
which have been experienced by myself and my family.
(931)-)
2. I
known to
I
known to

will speak of It as the type of communism
be practiced in Soviet Russia today.
will speak of It as the type of communism
be worked in Soviet Russia today. (1178)

3. The position of city manager is a professional
position and requires a thorough training in govern­
ment and the problems of government.
The position of city manager is a professional
position said requires a thorough training in govern­
ment and the aspects of government. (if9 9 )
I4-. To obtain a better understanding of how the
Conunission-Manager Plan accomplishes these aims, let
us consider the structure of this type of city govern­
ment.
To obtain a better understanding of how the
Corrnnission-Manager Plan accomplishes these things. let
us consider the structure of this type of city govern­
ment. (1731)
selecting members who are good leaders and
good thinkers, and who will also voice the point of
t> ^

53
view of the majority.
---selecting members who are good leaders and
good thinkers, and who will also tell the point of
view of the majority. (126)
6 . Today, America stands as a great democracy
leading and encouraging nations throughout the world
to adopt what we proclaim to be the best form of
government, democracy.
Today, Ameri ca exi sts as a great democracy
leading and encouraging nations throughout the world
to adopt what we say is_ the best form of government,
democracy. (1522)
7* We have failed in this step before but we must
not fail again.
We have failed in this factor before but we must
not fail again. (lli-lpE)
8 . With the introduction of such a system of city
government a new age of progressive government has been
ushered into our lives.
With the introduction of such a system of city
government a new age of progressive government has been
made into our lives. (I|_99)
9. We have witnessed one deadly depression, and
perhaps we will be hosts to another in the future.
We have been in one deadly depression, and perhaps
we will be hosts to another in the future. (1559)
10.
During a filibuster some of the Congressmen may
learn how to bake a cake by a secret recipe or they may
hear passages from the Bible.
During a filibuster some of the Congressmen may
learn how to bake a cake by a secret recipe or they may
hear things from the Bible. (150I4-)

51+
D. Organization
The definition of Organization*^ has been analyzed
into these components:
1. Size of the topic should fit the length of
the paper.
2. Theme as a whole should have a single, controlling
idea or purpose, expressed or clearly Inqplied, to which
each part of the theme contributes.
Each paragraph should be recognizable as a unit
(i.e., developing a single topic or sub-topic) in the
development of the theme.
1+. Ideas should be smoothly and logically linked
together:
(a) Through a recognizable pattern of develop­
ment.
(b) By use of transitional devices:
1. the connective.
2. parallelism.
3. pronoun reference.
1+. repetition.
5>. Importance of Ideas should be pointed up by:
(a) position
(b) proportion
(c) repetition
The problems Involved in producing versions weak
in respect to Organization differ from those encountered
in Conventions of Grammar, Sentence Structure, and Diction
In that Organization seems to be concerned with composition
In Its entirety rather than with the lexicality and struc­
ture of parts of composition.

9 See Chapter III, p . 22 for statement in the syllabus

Because of* this difference, entire themes have
been reproduced in this section to illustrate how the
weakening in respect to Organization has been accomplish­
ed,

Two themes have been selected as examples which

typify the weakening of the thirty cases in respect to
Organization,

The first sample of each pair is the

original version; the second, the weakened version.

An

analysis follows the weakened version, describing the
nature of the weakening.

The number in parentheses is the

original serial number of the th e m e , ^

The paragraphs of

the two versions have been numbered for purpose of refer­
ence.

10 See Table V, pages 91 ”93 ^0:p
serial numbers of these themes.

original

56
(14-57)
Democracy in the Home
(Original version)
(1) At last it was here2 It was June sixth
and the annual state fair would open today in
Monroeville.
Sam Thomas and his wife had been
preparing for weeks, in fact all year, for this
event and so had their two children, Jim and
Mary.
They had very impatiently awaited this
all Important day.
(2) Let's go back to last fall when the Thomas
family first moved to their farm in Monroeville
and began making plans for the state fair. Dad
was definitely the boss of the family but never
passed sentence until Sarah, Jimmy and Mary had
been consulted and had their say in the situation.
Whenever a problem for debate or argument would
arise, the four of them would take stand around
the kitchen table and have a typical family battleroyal until some compromise or conclusion was
reached. You see this was a democratic family,
each Interested in what the other had to say and
willing to give in a little and compromise.
(3) It was at these democratic meetings plans
were made for this important day. Mary had de­
cided to forget all about the new dress she
wanted and put the money Into the fund for the
livestock entering fee. Mom and Dad compromised
many times along the way, and they all unanimously
decided to cut down on the budget and do many
other things to save and prepare for the fair.
Together they worked planned, compromised and co­
operated for their common goal.
([}_) Mary had canned and made a dress she was
entering.
This she had done all by herself.
There had been no one dictating to her or telling
her what she could do or couldn't do.
(5)
Jim was entering a pig, his own pig* Just
like Mary he had been entirely responsible for
taking care of his entry. He felt proud inside,
because he knew this was his very own product.

57
(6) This is the way Sam and Sarah were teach­
ing Jim and Mary about democracy within the family,
through practical experience*
They made decisions
as a group, they had their own responsibilities
and they worked together; because of this they
felt pride in the product.
They knew they had
shared and planned in its production.
(7) Democracy in the home is not a take but
don*t give game.
It is an honest, straight from
the heart co-operation; a feeling of participating,
planning, and working together; a tie of equality
between the members. Democracy starts in the home.
This is where It must be practiced, and this is
where It must continue to be practiced If It Is
to surviveI
(8) Sarah just put the last things In the car.
They*re ready to leave. Yes, there they go, the
four of them together.

(k57)
Democracy In the Home
(Weakened version)
(1) At last it was herel It was June sixth
and the annual state fair would open today In
Monroeville. Sam Thomas and his wife had been
preparing for weeks, in fact all year, for this
event and so had their two children, Jim and
Mary. They had very Impatiently awaited this
all Important day.
(2) Let's go back to last fall when the Thomas
family first moved to their farm in Monroeville
and began making plans for the state fair. Dad
was definitely the boss of the family but never
passed sentence until Sarah, Jimmy and Mary had
been consulted and had their say in the situation
Whenever a problem for debate or argument would
arise, the four of them would take stand around
the kitchen table and have a typical family battl
royal until some compromise or conclusion was
reached.
(3) Mary had decided to forget about the new
dress she wanted and put the money into the fund
for the livestock entering fee. Mom and Dad
compromised many times along the way, and they
all unanimously decided to cut down the budget
and do many other things to save and prepare for
the fair. Together they worked, planned, com­
promised and co-operated for their common good.
(I4.) Mary had canned and made a dress she was
entering. This she had done all by herself.
There had been no one dictating to her or telling
her what she could or couldn’t do.
(5) Jim was entering a pig, his own pig.
Just like Mary he had been entirely responsible
for taking care of his own entry. He felt proud
inside, because he knew this was his very own
product.
(6) They made decisions as a group, they had
their own responsibilities and they worked to­
gether; because of this they felt pride in the
product.
They knew they had shared and planned
in Its production.

£9
(8) Sarah, just put the last things in the
car.
They're ready to leave. Yes, there they
go, the four of* them together.
Analysis of* Theme I|-5>7
The weakening of theme number l]-57 has been accomplish­
ed by 1) deleting parts which state the controlling Idea of
the composition, 2) deleting topic sentences of paragraphs,
3) and by destroying transitional devices.
The last sentence of the second paragraph states
the controlling idea of the paragraph and leads into the
first sentence of the third paragraph.

The deletion of

the two sentences weakens the points of the second and
third paragraphs and destroys the logical transition be­
tween these two paragraphs.
Paragraph number seven states the controlling idea
of the whole composition and serves to emphasize by summary
and repetition the point of the illustrations.

Omitting

this entire paragraph weakens the whole composition by
producing a version which seems to have no clearly expressed
main point.

6o
(1I4-70)

The U.S. Government must take Control
of Stream Pollution
(Original version)
(1) When the late mr. Roosevelt became presi­
dent he, among other things, advocated a strong
conservation program. In this program many phases
of conservation were taken up but one of great
importance was all but left out. That phase was
stream pollution, one of natures greatest enemies.
(2) Do you realize what is happening to the
rivers and streams of our country? Are you aware
that they are being converted into stinking slug­
gish ditches? All of the fish and other wildlife
of the rivers are slowly dying off and leaving
barren banks and empty rivers. Riverside parks
which once resounded with the sound of children
splashing in the water are now quiet for all that
remains is a sign telling the people that the
water Is poisonous and condemed. In some cases
the states have taken control and are doing a
good job of fighting stream pollution but in
most cases the state government cannot or will
not try to fight stream pollution.
(3) Why is all this happening? Who has
brought this shameful situation upon us? Most
people think that it is the large manufacturing
plant or chemical plant pouring their waste pro­
ducts Into the rivers that are all to blame.
While It is true that they are partly to blame
much fault lies in the Irresponsible citizens
living along the banks of the rivers. Instead
of having some type of filtration system for
their waste water products they simply run a pipe
into the river. One example of this is seen in
the Red Cedar River in East Lansing, Michigan
where almost every house along the river has a
pipe emptying a thick grey sludge into what was
once a beautiful river.
(I4.) Another situation which could cause a
pollution problem would be a city which does not
have an adequate sewerage disposal unit.

I

(5>) It is the duty of the U. S. Government
to do something about stream pollution. Not
only are our rivers one of our most important
natural resources of water power but they also
provide transportation routes and serve many
millions of people as holiday playgrounds.
If
some control is not administered our rivers could
be the breeding places of countless diseases
and plagues.
(6) When the government takes control of this
phase of conservation they should put enough
weight behind the legislation to make the people
aware of what will happen if they are caught.
What little state legislation was passed was too
weak to do any good* Any legislation should
be backed up by heavy fines or jail sentences.
A board of investigators should be set up in
each state to watch for violations and these
investigators should have enough authority to
take action against any violators.
This may
(seem) like quite drastic action but when a
situation has gone this far drastic action is
needed.
(7) For some years now conservation-minded
men have been trying to get more government
control of stream pollution.
If every one would
get behind this drive our government would have
to take action on this issue.

62
(114-70)
The U.S. Government must take Control
of Stream Pollution
(Weakened version)
(1, 2) When the late Mr. Roosevelt became
president he, among other things, advocated a
strong conservation program. Do you realize
what is happening to the rivers and streams
of our country? Are you aware that they are
being converted into stinking sluggish ditches?
All of the fish and other wildlife of the rivers
are slowly dying off and leaving barren banks
and empty rivers. Riverside parks which once
resounded with the sound of children splashing
in the water are now quiet for all that remains
is a sign telling the people that the water is
poisonous and condemed.
In some cases the States
have taken control and are doing a good job of
fighting stream pollution but In most cases the
state goverments cannot or will not try to fight
stream pollution.
(3)
While it Is true that plants are partly
to blame much fault lies In the irresponsible
citizens living along the banks of these rivers.
Instead of having some type of filtration system
for their waste water products they simply run
a pipe Into the river. An example of this Is
seen in the Red Cedar River in East Lansing,
Michigan where almost every house along the river
has a pipe emptying a thick grey sludge into what
was once a beautiful river.
(.£) It is the duty of the U.S. Government to
do something about stream pollution. Not only
are our rivers one of our most important natural
resources of water power but they also provide
transportation routes and serve many millions
of people as holiday play grounds.
If some
control is not administered our rivers could
be the breeding places of countless diseases and
plagues.
(7)
For some years conservation-minded men
have been trying to get more government control
of stream pollution.
If everyone would get

63
behind this drive our government would have to
take action on this issue.
(6)
What little state legislation was passed
was too weak to do any good. Any legislation
should be backed up by heavy fines or jail sen­
tences, A board of investigators should be set
up in each state to watch for violations and
the investigators should have enough authority
to take action against any violators. This may
(seem) like quite drastic action but when a
situation has gone this far drastic action is
needed!
Analysis of Theme li^-70
Paragraph one (of the original version) introduces
the theme and contains the controlling point of the
composition in the second sentence.

Deleting this second

sentence of the opening paragraph and combining paragraphs
one and two weakens the introduction and produces an
abrupt change of thought without transition.
The omission of the topic sentence of paragraph
three destroys the transition between paragraphs two
and three and leaves paragraph three without its topic
sentence.
Deleting all of paragraph four destroys the device
which carries the discussion from a general point to
consideration of specific responsibilities in the problem
of river pollution.

Paragraph seven is a final plea to accept the
propositions of the paper.

Taking it from its original

position and placing it in the next-to-last position
weakens the point.
The first sentence of paragraph six is the topic
sentence of its paragraph and serves as transition be­
tween paragraphs; therefore, its deletion joins ideas
which are not smoothly send logically linked together.

65
E. Content
In producing the versions of the thirty themes
selected for weakening in respect to Content the follow­
ing outline of the statement of the syllabus definitlon^-*of Content has been used to itemize the component elements
of good Content:
1. Supporting materials (examples, statistics,
arguments) should be adequate,
2. The theme should be of college caliber in
tha t it:
(a) concerns itself with matters worthy
of adult consideration,
(b) expresses a reasonably mature point
of view,
3. The theme should conform reasonably with
limitation of number of assigned words.
To illustrate how the thirty cases have been
weakened in respect to Content two typical themes have
been reproduced in their entirety in this section.

The

number in parentheses following the title of the theme
is the original serial number of the paper.

The first sample

of each pair is the original version; the second, the weaken­
ed version.

An analysis follows the weakened version to

11 See Chapter III, p*23 for exact wording of
the definition in the syllabus.

describe the quality of the weakening.

The paragraphs of

the two versions have been numbered for the purpose of
reference.

67
(l6o6)
Prevailing Forms of government
(Original version)
(1) Since the beginning of the human race, man
has recognized a need for some kind of control or
regulation of the group in which he lives.
He
has found that certain rules must be formulated
and adhered to if order is to prevail in the group.
The rules or laws, at first, were simple unwritten
agreements dealing only with a few of the aspects
of social control. As time progressed and as the
economic and social development became more complex,
however, laws also became more complex. With the
growing complexity of laws we find the uprising of
an organization necessary to formulate, codify,
and administer these laws.
This organization we
may define as government,
(2) Through the ages numerous forms of govern­
ment have sprung up to conform to the needs of the
specific peoples.
Some of the more prevailing
forms will be discussed.
These forms are classified
as: Autocracy, Anarchy, Monarchy, and Democracy,
(3) Autocracy
Autocratic government is government by one
invested with uncontrolled authority.
This type
of government is employed, very often, by rulers
who have a lust for power and economic control,
(ij_) Anarchy
An Anarchial form of government is charac­
terized by the rule of a small group.
In a society
such as this, the theory of absolute individual
liberty prevails even to the point of an absence
of any government regulation,
(5?) Monarchy
Monarchial government may be defined as a
government in which a king or emperor holds the
supreme power.
This form of government tends to
develop concentration of ruling in the hands of
generations of the same family,
(6) Democracy
Democracy, the prevailing form of government
in the United States, is rule by the people.
In a

democratic government all of the citizens take a
direct or indirect part in its actual workings*
Whether it be direct or indirect depends upon
the degree to which the ideal of democracy Is
practised.
(7)
As we can see, government is not a product
of our day but, instead, a product of the slow
evolution of the ideas and ideals of centuries of
people deeply concerned with the preservation of
order, peace, and security.

69
(i6o6)
Prevailing Forms of Government
(Weakened version)
(1) Since the beginning of the human race, man
has recognized a need for some sort of oontrol or
regulation of the groups in which he lives. He
has found that certain rules must be formulated
and adhered to if order is to prevail in the group.
These rules or laws, at first, were simple unwritten
agreements dealing only with a few of the aspects
of social control. As time progressed and as the
economic and social development became more complex,
however, laws also became more complex. With the
growing complexity of laws we find the uprising of
an organization necessary to formulate, codify,
and administer these laws.
This organization we
may define as government.
(2) Through the ages numerous forms of govern­
ment have sprung up to conform to the needs of
the specific peoples. Some of the more prevailing
forms will be discussed.
These forms are classified
as: Autocracy, Anarchy, Monarchy, and Democracy.
(3) Autocracy
Autocratic government is government by one
invested with uncontrolled authority.
(lj_) Anarchy
An Anarchial form of government is character­
ized by the rule of a small group.
(5>) Monarchy
Monarchial government may be defined as a
government in which a king or emperor holds the
supreme power.
(6) Democracy
Democracy, the prevailing form of government
in the United States, is the rule by the people.
In a democratic government all the citizens take
a direct or indirect part in its actual workings.

70
Analysis of Theme 1606
In weakening this theme, violations of two elements
of content have been produced - number of assigned words
and adequate supporting materials.
The original version used 3)4.5 words, while the
weakened version has been reduced to 225*

Deleting

supporting material in paragraphs three through seven
leaves the definitions of the four kinds of government
without any statements to characterize them with any
degree of specificity.

71
(32£)
Nationalism does Exist in our Government
(Ori gi nal versi on)
(1) Many people in the United States do not stop
to realize that our democracy is actually a form of
nationalism. We condemn the Nazi regime for having
been a nationalistic government, but we do not admit
or want to admit that ours is also. We are not as
fanatic as the Nazis were, but many comparisons can
be made between the two governments,
(2) Rituals play an important part in nationalism.
In the Nazi government we find such a ritual as
saluting the Fhurer or Swastika - an upward sweep of
the right arm, with palm turned downward, while re­
peating the phrase, "Heil Hitler", In our democracy
of the United States, we can enter any grade or high
school classroom, at the beginning of the day, and
see the boys and girls perform a ritual comparable
to the German "Hell", Our children stand with right
hands placed over their hearts, while facing the
American flag, and say the "Pledge of Allegiance"
to the United States,
In both governments these
ceremonies are usually carried out in a mechanical
manner - similar to puppets on a string,
(3) After these rituals are performed we can
listen to national songs. Yes, both governments
have theml The Nazis sang songs of praise to Hitler,
of the victorious and prosperous days he would bring
to them, and of the heroic deeds performed by his
famed "S. S. Men", We, In the United States, have
our "Star Spangled Banner1
,1 "God Bless America",
"Johnny Got a Zero", and Amidst the Ruins of Berlin",
(I4.) Religion can also be used to show that nation­
alism does exist in our government. During the Nazi
regime the religion which existed was used by the
government as a "mouthpiece" or as a salesman of the
reigning German party. During World War II, "Help
Our Government" was the topic of many sermons In our
American churches. Nationalism seems to be over­
powering religion.
Two things, government and

72
religion, which should be kept as interdependent as
water and oil, have become as one, even in our
United States.
(5) By the comparison of these three important
factors of nationalism - rituals, songs, and religion in the Nazi and American governments, we can see that,
although we are not fanatics in nationalism it does
exist in the United States. We must make stire it re­
mains only as a factor in our government for maintaining
loyalty to our country, plus respect for other
countries, and not as an excuse to become as narrow­
minded as our enemies of World War II.

73
(325)
Nationalism does Exist in our Government
(Weakened version)
(1) Many people in the United States do not
stop to realize that our democracy is actually a form
of nationalism. We condemn the iN*azi regime for having
been a nationalistic government, but we do not admit
or want to admit that ours is also. We are not as
fanatic as the Nazis were, but many comparisons can
be made between the two governments,
(2) Rituals play an important part in nationalism.
In the Nazi government we find such a ritual as
saluting the Fhurer or Swastika - an upward sweep of
the right arm, with palm turned downward, while re­
peating the phrase, "Heil Hitler”, We also have
rituals, songs, and ceremonies.
(3) Yes both governments have them! The Nazis
sang songs of praise to Hitler, of the victorious
and prosperous days he would bring to them, and of
the heroic deeds performed by his famed "S. S, Men”.
We, in the United States, have our songs, too.
(i|_) Religion can also be used to show that national­
ism does exist in our government. During the Nazi
regime the religion which existed was used by the
government as a ’’mouthpiece" or as a salesman of the
reigning German party. During World War II there was
nationalism in our Government.
Two things, govern­
ment and religion, which should be as interdependent
as water and oil, have become as one, even in the
United States.
(5) By the comparisons of three important factors
of nationalism - rituals, songs, and religion - in
the Nazi and American governments, we can see, that
although we are not fanatics In nationalism it does
exist in the United States. We must make sure it
remains only as a factor In our government for main­
taining loyalty to our country, plus respect for
other countries, and not as an excuse to become as
narrow-minded as our enemies of World War II. The
solution, of course, is in a revival of religious
fai th.

Analysis of Theme 325
The quality of content in this composition de­
pends on the Illustrations and examples used to support
the series of comparisons of nationalism In the United
States and Nazi Germany.

By giving examples of rituals,

songs, and religion as they are practiced in each country,
the writer has developed here a balance In the series of
comparisons.

Omitting the specific examples of rituals,

songs, and religious practice in the United States weakens
the content of the writing as a whole, since specific
examples remain to illustrate the points only In the case
of Nazi Germany.
The last paragraph (5) of this writing is an
adequate conclusion to the paper, In that It Is a
generalized summary which clinches the main point,
bringing in no material extraneous to the theme idea.
The addition of the last sentence "The solution, of
course, is in a renewal of religious faith" introduces
an idea not stated anywhere in the paper and weakens
the content of the conclusion.

75
IV,

Mechanics of obtaining the final form of

the weakened versions.

After the 150 selected cases had

been revised and rewritten so that 30 themes had been
weakened in respect to Conventions of Grammar, thirty
in respect to Sentence Structure, thirty in respect to
Diction, thirty in respect to Organization, and thirty
in respect to Content, it was necessary to get these
weakened versions into a physical form which would be
accepted by the re-raters as samples of bona fide com­
prehensive examination themes.

To accomplish this

objective the weakened versions have been copied by
students whose hand-writing matched that of the original
version, have been assigned new serial numbers, and have
been artificially aged,
A,

Copying In matching handwriting.

In order

that handwriting quality and appearance of

the weakened

version might not operate as a variable in

the rating of

these weakened versions, the attempt has been made to have
the papers copied by students whose handwriting closely
resembled that of the original paper.
As soon as a group of weakened versions had been
prepared they were given to students In the author*s

Written and Spoken English, sections, who were instructed,
without explanation as to the prupose of the activity, to
copy these versions in their regular handwriting.

The

matching of handwriting quality has been achieved by getting
sample papers from over five hundred students in Written and
Spoken English sections and by noting cases where their
handwriting closely resembled that of the original theme.
Whenever good matches in handwriting have been observed
the students were supplied with the weakened versions of
the original themes, the same kind of paper on which the
original versions had been written, and with the same color
of ink as on the original version.

In this copying the

students have been instructed to copy the original date of
May 23, 19I4.9 , and the student number of the original theme
on the heading of the official c o m p r e h e n s i v e examination
papers.

Care has been taken to omit the stamped original

serial number from the headings of the copied themes.

This

process of copying themes to produce the form of the final
version has run through a period from February, 1950 through
March 1952.
B.
versions.

Assigning new serial numbers to the weakened
After all of the 150 themes had been produced

77
In matching handwriting on official comprehensive
examination theme papers, they were thoroughly shuffled
and stamped serially, beginning with number 1102 and ending
with number 125>1#.

These new serial numbers were stamped

on the weakened versions on the same place on the paper,
with the same machine, and with the same color of ink as
in the case of the original versions.

The shuffling of

papers was to insure that the rating teams would get
batches of papers with a fair distribution of cases of
weakened elements.

The assignment of new serial numbers

from 1102 - 12f>l was intended to produce the appearance
of taking 1^0 original themes without any designed basis
of selection.
C.

Aging the weakened versions.

After the weakened

versions had been shuffled and assigned new serial numbers,
they were placed in an attic in fanned-out order, where
the sun and dust produced a soiling and fading like that
of the original versions. 12

12 The author feels that papers of bona fide
appearance had been produced, because in talking with
Written and Spoken English staff members after the re­
rating had been completed, he discovered that without
exception they thought that they had been re-rating
original themes taken from the Board of Examiners1
files.
Actually the last serial number was 12j?7, because
faulty stamping deleted numbers 214!}., 2^6 , 898, I0O8 , 831,
and 1901.

CHAPTER V
RATING OF THE WEAKENED VERSIONS
AND INTERPRETATION OF RESULTS
I,

Rating; the weakened versions.

Chapter IV

has described how the weakened versions of* the 150 cases
had been shuffled and assigned new serial numbers.

The

weakened versions were now ready for rating.
Twenty-four readers were chosen for rating of the
weakened versions.

Of these twenty-four raters chosen

from the Department of Written and Spoken English all but
three had participated in the rating of the original compre­
hensive examination themes of May 23, 19^4-9*

These three

raters joined the department in 19l4-9 ”50 and have had two
school years of experience in rating comprehensive examina­
tion themes and have participated in in-service training
programs in which sample themes were rated, using the rating
form described in this study.

It was not possible to have

the services of all twenty-four raters used in 19^9 because
of leaves, terms-off, or resignations of members of the staff.
Following the same rating procedure as in 19^4-9,
these twenty-four raters were divided Into eight teams of
three members each.

Six of the teams were given nineteen

papers each, and two teams were given eighteen papers each

79
to rate.
To conceal from the staff the reason for this rating
and to help prevent knowledge of this study, Professor
Paul D. Bagwell, the Chairman of the Department of Written
and Spoken English distributed the following note to each
of those chosen for rating the weakened versions:
May 19, 1952
Some of the research in our department Is
concerned with the rating of written work. To
help us in one of our studies, we ask your help
in re-rating some Comprehensive Examination
Themes written in spring term of 19^-9* We feel
this work is important and certainly thank you
for your cooperation.
(Signed)
Paul D. Bagwell
The themes were placed in envelopes identical to
those used in 19l}-9 > with the same rating directions-*- as
those of 19*1-9 pasted on each cover.
The envelopes were distributed to the raters on
May 19, 1952 and the ratings were completed on May 2l|-,
under conditions approaching as closely as possible those
of the 19*|9 rating.

The secretary of the Department of

1 See Chapter III, page l£for these directions to
the raters.

80
Written and Spoken English administered all the details of
distribution and collection.

To help conceal the nature

of this rating exercise this writer received a dummy
envelope with his name on it, since all the packets, with
raters1 names on them were laid out on the office counter.
II.

Tabulation of Scores.

Tables II - VI show the

division of the 150 themes into five groups of thirty each,
to indicate which cases have been weakened in respect to
the categories of the rating form, and to show the original
and re-rated total scores and scores of the five categories
of each theme.

These tables should be read as follows:

the titles of the tables indicate in respect to which
category the thirty cases have been weakened.

The first

row in each pair of entries shows the data of the original
version of each theme; the second row, the data of the
weakened version of the theme.
entry)

Example:

(Table II, first

Theme number 150 was weakened In respect to Con­

ventions of Grammar.

The rating of the original version

In I9I4.9 gave it a total score of 8l, and scores of 7«0
in Conventions of Grammar, 8.0 In Sentence Structure,

81

9.0 in Diction, 8.5

■Jf*

in Organization, and 8.0 in Content.

The same theme (with new serial number 12lj-5), after it had
been weakened in respect to Conventions of Grammar, earned
a total score of 58 » and scores of 2.0 in Conventions of
Grairanar,

in Sentence Structure, 7«o in Diction, 7*0

in Organization, and 7«0 in Content.

Scores of the categories in the case of the rating
of the original versions are the averages of two raters
who agreed within five points on their total scores; there­
fore, decimals of .5 only appear.
In the case of the
rating of the weakened versions the scores of the categories
may show decimals of .3 and .6, since In such cases these
are the averages of three raters.
(See Chapter III, page 25
for basis upon which the 150 cases were selected.)

TABLE II
SCORES OB' THEMES WEAKENED
IN RESPECT TO CONVENTIONS
OP GRAMMAR

No.
of
Theme

Total
Score

Conv.
of

Sent.
Str.

Diet.

Org.

Or.
7.0
2.0

8.0

5.6

9.0
7.6

8.5

6.0
3.5

8.0

8.0

5.0

5.5

7.5
3.0

6.5

7.5
l+.o

7.5
3.5

8.5

7.5
3.0

8.5

9 .°

8.0

8.0

63

7.5
3.5

5.5

5.5

8.0
8.0

598
H55

78
52

6.5
2.3

7.5
5.0

7.5
5.3

8.5
5.3

623
1256

78
56-

6.5
1.0

7.5

8.0
5.0

7.5
5.0

821
1231

78

7.0
l+.o

8.0

)±2

6.5
2.5

5.0

9.5
5.0

868
1170

83

66

7.0
5.0

8.0
1+.5

7.5
6.5

9.5

887
11J+5

87
18

7.5
1.5

8.0

9.0

2.5

1.0

9.5
3.0

150

81

121+5

58

217
1197

79

291
H53

78
55

310
ll>+3

78
39

6.0

518
1217

79

^-•5
3.0

8.0

7.0

8.5
k-5

8.0

TABL E II (Continued)

SCORES OP Ti SEES WEAKENED
IN RESPECT TO CONVEK 'ITOKS
OP GRAPPAR

No.
of
Theme
892
1171

9k5

1162

981
1226

likk

Total
Score

Conv.
of
Gr.

Sent.
Str.

Diet.

8.5
3.5

0.0

39

6.0
1.0

85
30

2. 0

7.5

8.0

3.0

h-9

8.5
k*5

80

87

Org.

Cont.

7.5
5*5

10.0
6.0

0.0
k-5

10.0

k.o

9.0
2.5

9.0

10.0

10.0

10.0

2.5

6.5

5.5

3.5

1104.

7.0
3.0

8.0
2.0

8.5
k.o

10.0

22

136k
119k

81

8.0

8.0

k7

6.5
1.0

5.5

5.0

9.0
6.0

9.0
6.5

1370
1121

79
69

6.0
6.0

7.0
5.5

7.5
7.5

9.5
8.0

9.5
7.5

ik 30

81

35

Q. 0
2. 0

8.0

1165

7.0
3.0

5.0

8.5
3.5

9.0
k.o

lk35
in k

8k
k7

6.5
2.0

8.5
3.5

8.0
k.o

9.5
7.5

9.5
6.5

lk78
1191

86
61

7.5
k-5

8.5
7.5

8.0
6.0

9.5
6.5

9.5

ill 79
12k6

sk

6.0

8.0

69

i.5

k.o

9.0
8.0

9.5
6.5

9.5
9.0

rk rk

10.0

5.5

6.0

TABLE II (Continued)
SCONES OF THE I V I E S WEAKEN ED
IN RESPECT TO CONVENTIONS
OF GRAI I,AH

No.
of
Theme
1500
110?

Total
Score

Conv.
of
Or.

Sent.
Str.

Diet.

88
6l

7.5

9.0

2.0

5.5

8.5
7.5

9.5
8.0

9.5
8.5

8.5
6.5

9.0

5.0

9.5
5.5
8.5

Org.

Cont.

1521
1181

86

7.0

9.0

k-Q

3.5

3.5

1577
1189

80
5o

6.5

9.0

1.0

7.5

8.5

6.5

6.5

![..o

1589
1159

87

7.0
2. 0

9.0
5.0

8.5

10.0

62

5.0

9.0

9.5

9.5

86

7.5

8.5
3.5

8.5
5.5

9.0

9.5
6.5

9.0

6.3

8.5
5.0
10.0
6.0

1593

7.0

1113

58

3.0

1599
1127

78
55

7.5
3.3

8.0

3.3

6.0
5.6

1636
1208

82
38

6 .0
2.0

6.5
2.5

9.0
3.0

9.5
5.5

17)98
1185

83
50

7.0
2.0

8.0

3.5

8.0
5.0

9.°
9.5
6.5 ■ 8.5

1770
lll|5

82

7.0
1.5

8.5
2.5

8.5
2.5

8.5
6.5

8.5
3.0

188 J4.

80

6.0
1.0

8.0

7.5

2.5

5.0

9.0
5.5

9.5
5.5

1253

32

39

5.5

85
TABLE III
SCORES OP THEMES WEAKENED
IN RESPECT TO
SENTENCE STRUCTURE

No.
of
Theme

Total
Score

Conv.
of
Or.

Sent.
Str.

Diet.

Org.

Cont.

10.0

9.0
1+.5

67

9.5
3.5

9.0
5.0

9.0
5.5

236
1108

83
1+7

8.5
3-5

3.0
3.0

8.5
5.0

6.5

26l
1109

85
1+0

7.0
3.0

7.5
2. 0

9.0
l+.o

9.0
5.5

10.0

2 95
1201

,8 I+
1+1+

8.0
1.0

8.0
3.5

8.5
1+. 5

9.0
5.5

8.5
7.5

1l03

86
57

8.0
5.0

8.0
5.5

9.0
6 .0

9.0
6.0

9.0
6 .0

81+

8.0
6.0

8.5
5.5

8.0

203

1202

1105

93

1203

62

8.5
1+.5

10-1-6

79
59

6.5

7.5
5.0

8.5
6.0

86
7l+

8.0

8.0

7.0

7.0

95
1+5

9.0
6.0

81

7.5
3.5

101-3

1169

1+53
1196

l|-76
1238

L+81+
1207

1+1

5.0
8.0

8.5
5.5
5.5

8.5
6.0

8.5
9.5

7.5
6.0

8.0
6.0

8.5
7.0

9.5

9.0

8.0

8.0

9.°
1+.5

9.5
1+.5

10.0

10.0

3.5

l+.o

7.5
3.0

8.5
Ll.O

8.5
5.0

8.5
5.0

86
‘
T ABLE III (Continued)
SCORES OF THEMES WEAKENED
IN RESPECT TO
SENTENCE STRUCTURE

No.
of
Theme

Total
Score

Conv.
of
Or.

Sent.
Str.

8.5
o.5

8.0
6.0

91
37

8.5

92

691
1116

60

815
1227
820
1205

Diet.

Org.

Cont.

8.0
6.0

8.5
8.0

9.0
6.5

8.0

9.0

2.0

10.0

10.0

2.5

l+.o

9.0

9.0

9.5

10.0
8.0

8.5

62

k-5

k-5

6.0

89

8.5

k-5

5.5
8.0

822
ll6 l

5k

9.0
5.0

k-5

9.0
5.0

9.5
7.0

8.5
5.5

830
I I 8 J4.

82
63

8.0
6.0

7.5

8.0

6.0

5.5

9.0
7.0

8.5
7.0

87^
1122

80

8.0

kk

5.0

7.0
t. 0

7.5
5.0

9.0
l+.O

8.5
l+.o

877
125i+

83
56

5.0

8.0

7.0

5.0

8.5
5.5

9.5
5.5

889

90
59

9.0
5.0

3.0

8.0

10.0

1190

k-5

6.5

7.0

10.0
6.5

913
1119

79

7.0
k- 5

7.5
5.0

8.5

k-9

7.0
6.0

9.5

k-5

k-5

928
1177

81
32

7.5

7.5
5.0

8.0

9.0
2. 0

2.0

8.0

2.5

7.5

k-5

8.5

87
TABLE III

(Continued)

SCORES OF THEMES WEAKENED
IN RESPECT TO
SENTENCE STRUCTURE

Total
Score

Conv.
or
Gr.

Sent.
Str.

Di c t .

SJ460

8.5
5.0

7.0
5.0

8.5
7.0

9.0
6.5

9.0
6.5

8.0

4.5

8.5
7.5

9.0

3.5

6.0
4.0

8.0

1180

79
55

1318
1130

82
56

7.5
it.5

7.0
4.5

8.5
4.0

8.0

7.0

10.0
8.0

1383

85
48

8.0
4.0

7.0
3.0

8.5
5.0

9.5
6.5

9.5

1221

llt-03

92
58

9.0
4.0

8.5
4.0

9.0
5.0

10.0
7.0

9.5
9.0

- 66
??

9.0
5.5

9.0
4.0

9.5
5.5

10.0

9.0
9.0

79
49

7.0
4.0

7.0
4.0

9.0
3.0

8.5
6.5

8.0

1128

1517

80

6.0

1138

50

8.5
4.5

4-5

7.0
4.0

9.5
5.5

9.0
6.5

l 6 ok
1176

87
72

9.0
5.0

7.5
5.5

8.5
7.0

9.5
9.0

9.0
9.5

1747

79
Is_2

6 .5

6.5

8.5

9.0

9.0

2.5

2.0

5.0

6.0

No.
of
Theme
1025
1230

IOI4.6

1218

llM
I21 I4.
lk.92

1252

5.5

Org.

9.0

Cont.

8.0

5.5

7.0

88
TABLE IV
SCORES OF THEMES WEAKENED
IN RESPECT TO DICTION

No.
of
Theme

Total
Score

Conv.
of
Gr

Sent.
Str.

Diet.

8.5

7.5
2.5

7.0
2.5

8.5
5.5

8.0
6.0

7.0

9.5
3.5

9.0
3.0

.

Org.

Con t .

126
1110

79
I4I

4-0

261 *.
12)4-9

81
26

7.5
3.0

7.5
2.5

1.0

1131

kkl

79
59

7.0
5.3

8.0
5.3

7.5
5.0

8.5
7.3

8.5
6.6

1+93
ll6)+

79
59

7.5
7.0

7.5
5.5

8.5

8.5

4 -0

6.0

6.5

499

86
57

7.5
5.5

8.5
5-5

8.0

9.5
6.5

9.5
6.5

78
59

7.0
5.0

6.0

4 5

9.5
7.0

8.0
7.0

82
50

9.0
5.5

7.0
4-0

5.0

9.0
5.5

9.0

7.0
3.5

9.0
5.5

8.5
5.0

1123

5oi4
1251

9 31+
1117

7.5

4-5
7.0
7.0

5.0

1020
1233

81

8.0

8.0

5 4

7.5

5.5

1027
1186

83
69

8.0

8.0

6.5

5.5

7.5
6.5

9.5
6.5

8.5
9.5

1029
1129

91

8.5

9.o
7.5

8.5
7.0

10.0

9.5

78

8.0

8.5

8.0

89
TABLE IV (Continued)
SCORES OF THEKES WEAKENED
IN RESPECT TO DICTION

No.
of
Theme

To tal
Score

Conv.
of
Or.

Sent,
Str.

Diet.

Org.

Cont.

1045
1236

90
81

8.0
8.3

9.0
8.3

8.5
8.0

10.0
8.0

9.5
7.6

11 )4.2
1106

83
58

7.5
5-5

8.0

3.5

8.0
4.5

9.0
7.5

9.0
8.0

1178
12 )4.3

S7
5o

9.0
7.3

8.5
6.3

7*^
4.3

4 .6

9.0
5.3

1)4.06
1200

94
63

9.0

9.°
4.5

9.0
5.0

10.0

10.0

7.0

9.0

1434
1195

81

7.0

50

6.0

7.5
6.0

7.5
4.5

9.5
4.5

9.0
4-0

1I4J4-2

82
46

7.0
6.5

8.5
6.5

7*5
4.0

9.0
3.0

8.0
3.0

1137

81
48

7.5
5.5

8.5
5.5

7.5
5.0

8.5
4.5

8.5
3.5

1)4-56
1220

81

7.5
5.0

8.0

4-5

7.5
4.5

9.0

53

6.0

9.0
6.5

14-79

9.5

10.0

4.0

9.0
5.0

9.0

1219

95
57

4.0

7.5

10.0
8.0

1)4-83
1178

91
35

9.0
4.0

9.°
4.0

0
<
->.p
2 .0

9.5
3.5

9.5
4-0

1237
1443

6.0

90
TABLE IV (Contirrued)
SCORES OF THEMES WEAKENED
IN RESPECT TO DICTION

No «
of
Theme

15 0 I4
1239

Total
Score

Conv.
of
Gr.

Sent.
Str.

Diet.

78

7*5
I4-.5

7.0
5.5

7.0
5.5

8.5
Il-.o

9.0
5.0

9.5
3.0

9.0
6.5

10.0
8.5

10.0

h-3

Org.

Cont.

1322
1228

93

7k

8.0
6.5

1559
1179

88

8.0

55

3.5

9.5
5.5

7.5
5.5

9.5
7.0

9.5
7.0

8 I4
62

7.5

5.0

9.5
7.5

8.0

6.0

9.0
5.5

8.0

1131
1623
1179

85
52

7.5
7.5

9-5

7.0
5.0

9.0
5.0

9.5
I4 . 0

1626
1 1 )4.2

79
33

8.5
2.5

7.0

5.0

7.0
1.5

8.5
5.0

8.5
5.0

1629
120) 4

9k

9.0
5.0

9.5
5.0

8.5
5.0

10.0

10.0

6.5

7.0

l 6 7) l
I I I 48

8.0

8.5
3.5

9.0

3.0

3.5

50

3.0

5.5

9.0
5.0

1731

79
59

8.0

5.0

8.5
5.0

7.0
1|..0

8.0

1206

7.5

8.0
8.0

2009

78

7.0

1187

88

3.0

7.0
9.0

7.5
8.5

8.5
8.5

10.0

1562

57
86

6.0

7.5

7.0

9.0

91

SCORES OF TfJEMES WEAKENED
IN RESPECT TO ORGANIZATION

No.
of
Theme

Total
Score

Conv.
of
Gr.

S en t .
Str.

Di ct.

100
1136

86

75

8.5
7.5

8.5
8.0

9.0
7.5

136
11^0

85
79

9.0
8.5

8.0

8.0

7.0

21)6

8.0

1123

86
I4J4.

1-1-• 5

280
1193

88
75

286

86

n57

29

Org.

Cont.

8.0

8.5

8.5
6.5

7.5

9.0
8.0

8.5
8.5

9.0
5.5

9.0
I*.. 0

8.5
3.0

8.5
5.o

8.0

9.0

9.0

8.0

8.5
8.0

9.0
7.0

9.5
5.5

8.0
2.0

9.0
3.5

8.5
2.0

8.5
3.0

9.°
4.0

7.5
9.0

8.5

6.0

8.0
6 .0

8.0

1173

68

6.5

8.5
6.5

3k9

89

8.5
7.5

9.°

9.5
7.0

9.0
8.5

8.5

8.5
5.5

9.0

9.5
5.5

9.0

9.5
7.0

8.0

9.0

5.5

5.5

8.0
lf« 0

8.5

318

1215

393

1211

kS7

229

538
12i|.0

81

7k
9,1

ok

88
51

8k

59

6.0

5.5

6.0

7.0

8.0

9.0
5.5

9.0

9.0

k-$

Ip-5

8.5
6.5

8.0

I4 . 0

9.0
9.0

TABLE V (Continued)
SCORES O'F THEMES WEAKENED
IN RESPECT TO ORGANIZATION

No.
of
Theme

Conv.
of
G-r.

Sent.
Str.

Diet.

Or^.

Cont.

81,.

8.5
8.5

8.5
9.0

9.5
8.5

9.0
8.5

9.5
7.5

1 22\

90
50

8.5
I;,. 0

10.0

7.0

8.5
7.0

9.0
3.5

9.0
3.5

875

8.5

8.5
5.0

8.5

8.5
3.5

10.0

ilb-7

88
37

1052

88

8.0

26

7.5

8.5
7.0

9.0

1183

6.0

9.5
2.5

9.0
3.0

l l | ii 5

88
51

9.0
5.3

8.5
5.3

8.5
5.6

9.0
I4.. 6

9.0

8.5

5.0

9.0
6.5

9.5
6.5

9.0
5-5

9.0

1235

90
58

1 I4-88
1213

89

8.0

8.0

65

6.5

6.5

9.5
7.0

9.5
7.0

9.5

80

8.0

53

6.5

8.5
5.5

7.0
5.5

8.5
5.5

l f. 5

539
lll|.l
819

12kk
1 I+ 7 0

1520
1111

Total
Score

90

3.5

2.5

b-.o

5.3
5.5
0.0

8.5

15^2

39

12l|.8

56

8.5
7.0

9.0
6.3

8.5
6.6

9.0
3.3

? • ?6
1|..

1556

86
73

7.5

9.5
7.0

8.5
7.0

8.0

6.0

9.5

1167

8.5

8.0

93
TABLE V (Continued)
SCORES OB’ THEMES WEAKENED
IN RESPECT TO ORGANIZATION

No,
of
Theme

Total
Score

Conv,
of
Or.

Sent.
S tr,

Di ct.

9.0
6.5

9.5
5.0

9.5
7.0

7.5

8.0
8.0

7.5
7.0

9.0
8.5

Org.

Cont.

1560
1102

91

8.0

68

8.3

9.5
7.0

1579
1163

78
80

7.0
8.3

8.0

1125

91
38

9.0
7.3

9.0
7.0

9.°

9.0

6.0

I+.O

9.5
4.5

1725

82

8.0

8.0

1250

80

9.0

9.0

8.0
8.0

8.5
6.5

8.5
7.5

1767

78

7.0

8.0

68

8.6

8.0
8.0

7.5
6.3

8.5
7.6

l 8 l4.lL
1118

79
73

8.0

7.5

7.5

7.5
7.5

8.0

8.0

4-5

8.5
8.5

1856
1 1 2 l|.

37

6.0

5.5

8.5
5.0

8.0
6 .0

8.0
6.0

i 860
1257

91
80

9.5
5.5

9.0
8.5

9.0
9.5

9.0
7.5

9.0
9.o

1939
1138

83
44

8.5
ip. 0

8.5
5.0

9.°

7.0
4.0

8.5
3.6

2039
1199

81

8.5
6.5

8.0
6.0

8.5

7.5
1.5

8.0
6.0

16^7

1 2 l |.2

80

33

7.5

7.0

8.0

6.0
8.0

9^1table

VI

SCORES OF TREMES WEAKENED
IN RESPECT TO CONTENT

No.
of
Theme

Total
Score

Conv.
of
Or.

Sent.
Str.

Djct.

Org.

Cont.

13

86
61

9.0
7.5

8.5
6.5

9.0
5.5

8.5
5.5

38

83
57

8.5
6.0

9.0
6.5

8.5
1+.5

5.0

7.5
5.5

39
1135

82

8.0

8.0

kl

8.5
5.o

5.0

5.5

8.5
3.5

1.5

12 L

8.5
7.0

8.5
5.6

8.0

1255

83
52

3.0

8.5
5.6

)+•3

325

78
I4 I

8.0

8.0

5.5

5.5

8.0
5.0

8.5
1.5

6.5
3.0

326
11^. 0

83

8.0

7.0

6.0

8.5
6.5

8.5

60

6.0

7.5
l|-.5

331
11) 46

88
73

9.0
7.0

9.0
8.0

9.0
7.5

8.5
7.0

8.5
7.0

362

87

12l|7

33

8.0
6.5

9 .°
lj-.0

10.0
3.0

9.0
1.5

7.5
1.5

389
1133

81
79

8.0
8.0

8.0

3.5
8.5

8.0

8.0

9.0

7.0

7.0

I|,09
1210

80

8.0
5.0

8.5
5.5

8.0
^-•5

7.5
5.0

1172

1216

1188

9.0

8.0

)+-5

8.0

8.0

5.5

8.0
8.0

95
TABLE VI (Continued)
SCORES OF THEMES WEAKENED

Sent.
Str.

78
55-

9.0
5-5

7.5
5.5

5* 5

8.5
5-5

8.0

8.0

1154

83
5-7

5-. 5

850
115-9

78
56

8.0

5.5

853
1225

80

No.
of
Theme
729
12 lp.

Total
Score

0

Q
OO
4 H>p
• •
<1

IN RESPECT TO CONTENT

Diet.

8.0

Org.

7.0
5.5

Cont.

7.5
6.0
8.0

5-.o

9.0
5.5

8.0
6.0

7.5
6.5

8.5
l+.o

7.0
5.5

7.0
6.5

8.0

9.5

55

8.0
6 .0

6.5

5.0

7.5
3.5

81
60

8.5
7.5

8.0
6 .0

8.0
6.0

8.5
5.5

7.5
5.0

88I4.
1132

81

8.5
6.5

8.0

8.0

8.0

8.0

5.5

5.0

5.5

5.0

890

9.0

8.0
5.o

8.0

1103

79
51

7.0
5.5

7.5
5.0

901

81

8.0

8.0

1232

51

8.5
6.5

5-5

5.0

8.5
5.5

,7.5
5-.o

950
1222

80

5-8

8.5
5-5

8.5
5.0

8.5
5.0

7.5
5.0

7.0
5--5

88
6l

9.0
7.0

9-5
7.5

9.5

8.0

8.0

0.5

5-5

5.0

8 I4.I

867

1192

969

lllll.

55

6.0

5.0

5.o

96
TABLE VI (Continued)
SCORES OF THEMES WEAKENED
IN PESFECT TO CONTENT

N o .
o f
Tli erne

T o t a l
S c o r e

C o n v .
o f
G r .

S e n t .
S t r .

977
1 1 1 2

79
51

7.0
5.0

?.°
6.0

7.5
7.0

lii .29
1120

82

9.0

Llt 2

6.0

8.5
5.0

k.o

8.0

1212

81
60

13'12

82

1 1 8 2

65

1 55 5

80

14-4-8

D i e t .

O r g .

C o n t .

4 -

8.5
5

7.5
3.0

8.0

8.5
3.5

7.0
2.5

8.0

8.0

6.5

6.5

5.0

8.5
6.5

8.5
5.5

9.5
8.5

8.5
7.5

8.0

8.5
5.5

6.5
2.5

7.5
5-5

9.0

9.0

6.0

6.0

8.5
4-.5

4-.o

8.5

6.0

1168

52

1592
1156

79
52

8.0

3.5

7.0
4-.o

4-.o

9.0
8.5

7 * 5

1606
1126

79
50

7.5
6.3

8.0
6.0

7.5
5.6

9.5
3.6

7.0
3.0

80

8.0

6.0

1198

4-8

9.0
7.5

8.5

8.0

8.5
6.5

7.0
1.5

7.0
1.0

1713

87

4-9

8.5
5.5

9.5
7.5

9.0
2.5

8.0

1234-

8.5
5.0

4-.o

184. 1
1209

81

8.0

8.0

56

5.5

5.5

8.0
6.0

8.5
5.0

3.0
6.0

1 6 9 I4-

97
In order to interpret in an orderly fashion the
scores contained in Tables II - VI it was necessary to
treat these data in such a way that certain comparisons
could be made.

Because of the nature of the scores ob­

tained from the rating form used to score the comprehensive
examination themes, no elaborate statistical treatment of
the data seemed appropriate.

It would seem, for Instance,

that a method of testing for significance of difference
between measures would assume, without proof, a zero-point
in a rating form which allows scorers merely to rate a
certain category of composition within a ten-valued range.
The most useful basis for studying effects on these
themes when certain elements of composition had been
weakened was to show change of score points in terms of
percentage.
in Table VII.

This expression of change is readily apparent
Since the effect of weakening themes in

respect to any one of the five categories of the rating
form lowered in every case the average total scores and
average elements scores of such themes, all changes are
ones of loss as shown in the following table.

TABLE VII
AVERAGES OP SCORES OP ORIGINAL AND
WEAKENED VERSIONS, SHOWING
SCORE LOSS IN PERCENTAGE

^ ^
So
© bo
41
fTtJ©
J>
g: o

Conv.
of
Grammar
0

W

Sent.
Str.
-5*

0

W

D iction

-t

0

w

Org.

0

w

Total
Score

Content

-%

0

w

-%

0

w

-%

Conv. 6.8 2,8 58.8
of
Gr.

8.1 lp.2 ip8.1

8.2 5.1 37.8

9 .0 6.0 33.3

9 .2 6 .3 31.5

82.7 1 4 .5 41.3

Sent. 8 .2 Ip.6 43.9
Str.

hi

111.6

8 .5 5.2 38.9

9 .1 6.2 31.8

9 .0

64

28.9

85.3 5 4 4 36.7

D iet. 8 .0 54- 32.5

8 .3 6.2 25.3

hi

9 .2 5.9 35.9

8.9 5 .9 33.7

8ip.5 53.9 36.2

Org.

8.6 6 .5 2 4 4

8 .6 6 .6 23.2

8.6 6 .5 2 4 4

8 4 h k 37.2

8.9 6.1 31.5

86.0 6l.O 29.1

Cont. 8 .Ip 6.1 2 7 4

8 4 5.9 29.7

8 4 5.8 30.9

8 4 k-9 U-1.7

7 .5 h i 1*0*0

82.0 5 4 .5 33.5

k4

* "O" and "W" in the box headings head columns of averages of scores of original
and weakened versions, respectively.
NOTE: This table should be read as follows: the thirty cases weakened in respect
to Conventions of Grammar (first stub heading) show that they earned an average of 9.0 in
Organization (fifth box heading) in the original versions; and that they yielded an aver­
age score of 6,0 in Organization in the weakened versions, equivalent to a score loss of
33.3#.

III.

Interpreting the results.
1.

The seriousness of the effect of weakened

elements on total scores is of the following order:
(a)
(b)
(c)
(d)
(e)
2.

Conventions of Grammar.
Sentence Structure.
Diction.
Content.
Organization.
It might be assumed that the raters in this

study did not make a clear distinction between weaknesses
in Conventions of Grammar and Sentence Structure.

This

assumption is based on the evidence that weakening of
Sentence Structure produced a greater loss In Conventions
of Grammar than it did in Sentence Structure.
3.

The raters did not seem to distinguish between

weakness in Organization and weaknesses in Content, since
weakening of Content caused a greater loss In Organization
than it did in Content.
I)..

The raters have assigned the lowest scores to

the themes weakened in respect to Conventions of Grammar.
Since this category seems to be more clearly and specifi­
cally defined than the other categories, the most clearly
defined element seems to have received the most severe
treatment by the raters.

100
5?.

The general lowering of scores produced by

the weakened versions might be explained by the operation
of a negative halo effect.

It is interesting to note in

this connection that the weakened category which produced
the greatest loss in scores appears first on the rating
form.

The versions weakened in respect to Conventions

of Grammar produced a descending loss in the other cate­
gories in the same order as their listing on the rating
form.

Versions weakened in respect to Conventions of

Grammar produced a 58.8?£ loss In Conventions of Grammar,
a Lj.8.1^ loss In Sentence Structure, a 37*8^ loss In
Diction, a 3 3 * 3 % loss in Organization, and a 31*5^ loss
in Content.

Weakening of themes in respect to categories

which appear last and next to last on the rating form,
namely, Content and Organization, produced a score loss
ranking last and next to last.
6.

Organization and Content seem to be the two

categories defined in the least concrete terms.

Versions

weakened In respect to these two categories produced losses
ranking last and next to last.
7.

The over-all, serious score losses which the

weakened versions produced might be explained by the

101
Increased emphasis put on the practice or distributing
grades over a greater range during the past three years.
8.

In this study the twenty-four raters seem to

have considered the other four elements of composition
subordinate to Conventions of Grammar, in view of the
greatest loss in total score when the category Conventions
of Grammar was weakened.

CHAPTER VI
SUMMARY, CONCLUSIONS, AND
IMPLICATIONS OP THIS STUDY
I.

Summary.

The purpose of this thesis was to st

the effects on the rating of comprehensive examination themes
when certain composition elements were weakened.

The themes

selected were those of the comprehensive examination of
Written and Spoken English, Basic College, Michigan State
College In May of 19^4-9•

Of the approximately 2100 themes

written at that time lfpO cases in the score range of 98-78
were selected.

The versions were weakened in respect to

the five categories of the rating form regularly used in
scoring comprehensive examination themes.

Thirty themes,

then, were weakened in respect to Conventions of Grammar,
thirty in respect to Sentence Structure, thirty in respect
to Diction, thirty in respect to Organization, and thirty
in respect to Content.
These weakened versions were then copied on paper
identical to that of the original versions in handwriting
closely resembling that of the original writer.

The

rating of these weakened versions was performed in May of
1952, with the same rating form, set of scoring directions,
etc. which obtained in the rating of the original versions.

103
Of the twenty-four raters used In the 1952 scoring, twentyone had participated in the 191+9 scoring.

All but three

raters used in this study have had at least three schoolyears of experience in rating comprehensive examination
themes in the Department of Written and Spoken English.
The three, however, have had two school years of theme-rating
experience in this department.
The results of these ratings were tabulated so that
the effects of weakening themes in respect to the categories
of the rating form could be interpreted.
II.

Conclusi ons.

The following conclusions are

drawn from the evidence within the dimensions of this study
and are not intended to apply generally to the measurement
of written composition.
1. Weaknesses in the most carefully defined elements
of written composition seem to be the easiest for raters
to detect in these themes.

If we assume Conventions of

Grammar to be the most carefully defined category of com­
position elements, then these raters detect weaknesses in
that category more easily than they do in any of the other
four categories.
2.

Versions of themes weakened in respect to Conven­

tions of Grammar produced an average total score loss of

loljll-l.3%, a- loss greater than that produced In the versions
weakened in respect to any of* the other four categories.
Therefore these raters score most severely that category
of elements in which they can most easily detect weaknesses.
3.

When these raters scored papers weakened in re

pect to Sentence Structure they detected weakness to the
extent of lowering the average score of that category by
[p..but

they evidently thought these themes weakest in

Conventions of Grammar since that category suffered an
average score loss of lp3•

Therefore,

these raters as

a group do not make a distinction between weakness in
Sentence Structure and weakness in Conventions of Grammar.
I}.. When these raters scored papers weakened in
respect to Content, they discovered weakness to the extent
of lowering the average score of that category by 1+0.0%,
but they evidently thought these themes weakest in Organiza­
tion, since that category suffered a score loss of 1+1.7%.
Again, as a group, these raters do not make a distinction
between weakness in Content and weakness in Organization.
5.

The raters scored themes weakened in respect to

Diction in a manner which produced an average score loss
of I4.2.8 in that category, a loss greater by almost 7%> than

105
the next greatest loss in any of the other four categories.
Therefore, It would seem that these raters detect weaknesses
in Diction and use the proper category to record their judg­
ments.
6 . Although the rating form is a list of five
categories to be regarded as

discrete and of equal weight,

it is not so regarded by these twenty-five raters.

In

practice, the raters score a theme on the basis of three
categories:

l) a combination of Conventions of Grammar and

Sentence Structure, 2) Diction and 3) a combination of
Organization and Content.
7. Apparently placing
category in which weaknesses

first on the rating form the
are most easily detected causes

these raters to score the following categories with a
severity of the same order as the sequence of the other four
categories.

This pattern Is illustrated in the fact that

the raters, judging themes weakened in respect to Conventions
of Grammar, so scored these themes that Conventions of
Grammar suffered an average score loss of 58.8$; Sentence
Structure, 14.8 .1$; Diction,

Organization, 33«3$; and

Content, 31*5$*

i

io6
III.

Implicatlons of this study.

Because the

Department of Written and Spoken English is constantly
seeking to improve its techniques of evaluating student
performance,

these findings might encourage the staff to

examine the form they use for rating written composition.
They might find the present instrument satisfactory
if all five categories of the rating form could be equally
clearly defined,

so that weaknesses of composition elements

among the categories could be equally easily detected.
Falling this, they might devise an Instrument based on
errors and weaknesses in composition elements which they
actually discover and can group, as far as possible, In
mutually exclusive categories.
In any case, the successful use of an instrument
will depend on their continuing to use it in In-service
theme-rating programs, in which thorough discussion will
reveal adequacies and inadequacies of the instrument being
used.

107
SELECTED BIBLIOGRAPHY
A. BOOKS
Brigham, C. C. The Reading of the Comprehensive Examination
in English, Princeton: Princeton University Press

i935r3'S"pp.
Pries, C. C, Amerlcan English Grammar, New York:
Century Crofts, Inc., I^lj-O, 313 PP*

Appleton,

Greene, H. A*, Jorgensen, A. N., and Gerberich, J. R.
Measurement and Evaluation in the Secondary School,
New ^ork: Longmans, Green and” Company, l^q.67 670 pp.
Hinton, E. M. An Analytical Study of the Qualities of Style
and Rhetoric Found in English Compositions. Con­
tributions to Education, No. 806. Teachers College,
Columbia University, 194-0* 135 PP*
Hudelson, E. English Composition: its aims, methods, and
measurement. The Twenty-Second Yearbook of the National
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Illinois: Public School Publishing Company, 1923, 172 pp.
Perrin, P, Wri terfs Guide and Index to English.
Scott, Foresman and Company, 19^, 800 pp.
Pooley, R. C. Teaching English Usage. New York:
Century, Crofts, Inc7, l^If.6 , 265 PP*

Chicago:
Appleton,

Remmers, H. H. and Gage, N. L. Educational Measurement and
Evaluation. New York: Harper and Brothers, l%-3*
580 pp.

B. PERIODICAL ARTECLES
Breed, F. S. and Frostic, F. W. "A Scale for Measuring the
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Elementary School Journal. 17:307-325?, 1917*

108
Diederich, P. B. ’’Measurement of Skill in Writing”.
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School

Gordon, K. ”A Class Experiment with the Hillegas Scale”.
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Hatfield, W. W. "Basis for Grading Themes.”
11:39, October, 19*4-9.

College English,

Hillegas, M. B. "Scale for the Measurement of Quality in
English Composition by Young People”. Teachers College
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Hudelson, E. "The Effect of Objective Standards upon Compo­
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Scholastic (Secondary Education), 33: *p-9-q-22, January,
TWT.

Noyes, E. S. "Recent Trends of the Comprehensive Examination
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School

Stalnaker, J. M. "Testing and Ability to Organize". English
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Stewart, M. "A Scale for Measuring the Quality of Conventional
News Stories in High-School Journalism". English
J ournal (High School Edition), 23: 209-15, March, 193*4-.
Theisen, W. W. "Improving Teachers' Estimates of Composition
Specimens with the Aid of the Trabue Nassau County
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Thorndike, E. L. "A Scale for Merit in English by Young People".
Journal of Educational Psychology, 2:361-368, 1911.

109
Trabue, M. R, "Supplementing The Hillegas Scale".
College Record. 18: f?l-8lj-, 1917*

Teachers

Van Wagenen, M. J. "The Minnesota English Composition
Scales: their derivation and validity". Educational
Administration and Supervision. 7 s I4.8l-I4.99l l^Sl.
Virtue, J. B. "Proficiency Examination in English Composition
at the University of Kansas". College English. 9: 199-203,
January, 19^8•
Willing, M. H. "The Measurement of Written Composition in
Grades IV to VII". English Journal. 7: 193-202, 1918.
C.

MISCELLANEOUS

Huddleston, E; M. "Recent Studies of the English Composition
Test". The College Board Review. Vol. 1, No. I4..
Princeton, New Jersey, 10 pp., Spring, 19l4-8»
Monroe, W. S., editor, Encyclopedia of Educational Research.
1 vol.; New York: The Macmillan Company, l950.
Travers, R. M. W. "The Evaluation of the Outcomes of Teaching
in English". Unpublished paper read before the Michigan
Conference on Higher Education, Ann Arbor, Michigan,
January, 19U-7 •
Written and Spoken English Syllabus. Fifth Revision (Sixth
ElditionT* East Lansing, Michigan: Michigan State
College Press, 1950, 122 pp.