msu THIS WE DO at M. S. U. sponsored by The Spartan Women's League of Michigan State University 1956 FOREWORD THIS WE DO is dedicated to the prospect of helping to make all of us at Michigan State Univer sity more consciou8 of our so cial graces. Now that we are a true university, we have the re sponsibility of acting like uni versity students. M.S.U. has much to offer to its students, and you, in turn, can give to it a bit of yourself. You are here not only as students but as social beings as well, and as such must act in accordance with some standards. Though this is an informal campus, there are a few common sense rules that all follow. These, plus answers to a few of our other questions, are in cluded here. INVITATIONS cr-________________ ----- M.S.U. is a busy campus -- often it's more like a three-ring circus. However, even with many de mands on your time, never permit yourself to be come careless about invitations and notes. After accepting an invitation, it is a matter of ethics and of personal integrity to fulfill this promise. All invitations should be answered as soon as pos sible. Formal acceptance or regret for an invita tion is usually written on cards or on plain white unruled sheets of good note paper. The acceptance is never written entirely across the page as in an informal style. Betty Coed accepts with pleasure Mr. and Mrs. Wilson's kind invitation for dinner on Monday, the tenth of August at eight o'clock Whether formal or informal, it is courteous to ex plain the reason for declining, and to follow the form of .the invitation. Informal invi tations are usually wri tt-en in a way similar to that of a friendly note. A reply must be made at once with an acceptance or a regret. Unexpected cancellations may arise almost any time. Notify the host or hostess as soon as possible to tell them of the change. Do it in the most conven ient and time-saving manner, perhaps by a phone call or a telegram. When you, acting for an organization or a group, are inviting someone to be a guest, be sure to add your name so they will know to whom to reply. Remember: R.S.V.P. (Repondez s'il vous plait) answer if you please --should never be ignored • . Although it i~ not essential, it is courteous to take your weekend hoste~~ a gift. Let ' this gift show thoughtfulness rather than extravagance. A letter to thank the mother of your host or host ess is an absolute must. This can ,be written in an informAl manner. to be sincere and spontaneous. It need not be long, but try A letter of condolence is too personal to follow a given form and should always be handwritten. Say what you truly feel -- and no more. Sincerity and genuiness bring the greatest comfort to those in grief. It is not kind to make glowing tributes which only add to the grief of the person. / \ Having chaperones and guests at your parties and dances gives you another chance to know your fac ulty outside of class situations. It i 's the duty of the person who knows the guest to introduce his or her companion. acquainted with the chaperones, the man should introduce himself to the other. If neither is You do not have to chat for hours with the guests, nor are you ex pected to dance with them. They may feel as uneasy as you do, so just be friendly as you would to a guest in your own home. When the dance or party is over, it shows good taste to speak to the chaperones to tell them that you enjoyed the party. I t you are going to invite someone to your party as a chaperone, be sure he or she is given this honor enough in advance to be able to make plans. For an average party, two weeks in advance is' pro per, but for a large term party, an invitation a month in advance is required. It is considered courteous and proper to pay for the baby sitter your chaperones need to employ while they are out. Check to make sure the guest has a ride to and from the party. TEAS AND RECEPTIONS At a tea, you are required to remain only long enough to finish your drink, about fifteen to thirty minutes. When leaving, say a few words of appreciation to your hostess and then depart. In a reception line, try to act happy and cor dial. Announce your name clearly and do not begin a conversation of any length with ~ny of the people in the receiving line. M.S.U. has coffee hours at all times of the day and evening. The same can be said for these as for a tea. Drees for afternoon coffee hours is usually quite informal, while evening ones tend to be dreesy. If you are extended an invitation to a coffee hour, you can follow what has been discuesed in INVITATIONS AND NOTES. ( G l l -_ - - - - Introductions show respect, consideration, and honor to the people you are introducing. By mak ing introductions gracefully, you reflect social ease and good breeding. ' to It may be your parents to an in Sooner or later on a CMlPUS as large as this is you will find yourself introducing someone someone else. structor, your date to your housemother, or just passing names around the grill; but introduc tions should be made easily and without calling attention to them. If you are introducing your parents or acquaint ances to a facul ty member: I'd like you to meet my parents, Mr. and Mrs. X." "Dr • . (Mr.) Snarf, Those who have a degree usually are addressed as "Doctorlt in academic situations, but most would like to be addressed as Mr., Mrs., or Miss in a social situation. If someone is visiting you on campus, your room mate, housemother and others will want to know "Jane Visitor, this is Mary the visitor's name. Coed, my roommate. It "Mrs. Blue, this is Jane Visitor who is staying with me tonight. Mrs. Blue is my housemother." The reply to any introduction is "How do you do?" not "Pleased to meet you." If flattery only approach you can use to begin a conversation, keep still and smile. There is nothing more dis tasteful than an uncalled-for compliment. is the Adding a sentence about the persons introduced gives them a clue as to what to say next, and makes the meeting smoother. someone up with a blind date, mentioning the last name and saying something about him or her is particularly important. Joe College. Joe's on the football team." If you have fixed "Betty Coed, this is Write the order of introductions on your cuff or somewhere. It really isn't hard to remember, es pecially after you have used it a few times. Old er women, married women, single women, older men, married men, single men; present gentlemen ladies, younger people to older ones. to This is best summarized by the rule that the older or honored person's name is mentioned first. Thus "Miss Getting-Along-In-Years, I'd like you to meet Miss still-In-Her-Teens." the If you are intro duced to someone who holds out his hand, shake hand, but not too firmly or limply. A good firm hand clasp is customary among men, but it is an uncormnon prac tice with girls. Girl'~ rudeness at their refusal to ac cept an offered hand is most uncalled-for. Girls need not stand unless being intro duced to an older woman, but all men should be on their feet immediately. In any case, try to be friendly and don't forget to smile. Men should always rise when in any convers8.tion, no matter how short, with a woman who is standing. Remain so until she leaves or gives you permission to be seated again. c. • If you have forgotten someone's name, the best thing to do is to SB_y, "I 'm sorry, I don't believe that I remember your name." It is awkward, but better than be ing caught, "Betty, this is ah ••• " ? All of us know how easy it is to forget names, especially on campus like ours, where you meet and see so many people every day. a In some cases it would be wise and helpful if you would introduce yourself. This is true in an instructor-stu dent situation; when entering the office, simply say, "Dr. Snarf, I'm Joe College." You might add the class or time, to help stimulate hi s .memory. Try to avoid talking about your self all the time, even though it is • bit hard. People enjoy hearing about you more from a more unbiased source About speaking to the "once met-but-nearly-forgotten" or the multitude of faintly fam iliar faces, reminiscent of a history class, chern lab, or a freshman mixer, remember that the girl has the privilege of speaking first. TABLE ETIQUETTE To be able to relax and thoroughly enjoy a meal anywhere at any time, one must have table manners that are acceptable. Techniques for the use of silverware In grasping the knife for cutting, the index fin ger should extend along the upper edge near the handle, elbows down, even if the meat is tough. The fork is held in the left hand when holding food to be cut. Tines are turned down and the h&ndle is underneath the palm of the hand. For eating, tr&nsfer the fork to your other h&nd. Grasp the fork in your hand so that the tines are pointing up and the handle is supported between your thumb and second finger, with your first fin ger pressing the edge of the handle. When not in use, lay the knife across the outer edge of the plate, sharp edge turned toward the center of the plate, making a 45 degree angle to the edge of the table. When not in use or when you have finished with the soup spoon, place it on the plate under the dish. If no plate is provided, place it either on your salad, bread-butter, or dinner plate. Summary: (1) Follow hostess (2) Use the silver in order of its arrangement, beginning with the out side piece. Techniques for the use of napkins Follow the example of your hostess in picking up and laying down your napkin. ess, you may pick up your napkin as soon as you are seated at the table. If there is no host When the meal is finished, leave your napkin semi folded at the left of your plate. If paper napkins are used, they are to be treated like linen and are not to be shredded. Techniques for certain foods Bread Butter a quarter of a piece of bread or a small piece of roll while holding it on the rim of the plate. Never butter a whole slice and bite from it. Meat Never cut your entire serving of meat at one time, but it is permissible to cut several bites at once. French Fried Potatoes French fries are eaten with your fork unless they are crisp and may be eaten more easily with the fingers. Finger Foods Foods are only finger foods if they do not soil the fingers. Some finger foods are: olives, nuts,celery, radishes, fresh fruits, breads, crackers, candies, cookies, crisp bacon, corn on the cob, and sandwiches. Sandwiches Always break or cut a sandwich into eat able sized pieces. Dip away from you, toward the outer ed g e of the dish. Don't blow hot souP. You may drink clear soups, if it is served in a cup with a handle or handles. Fried Chicken As to your using your fingers, fol low your hostess. If there is no hostess, play safe and use y our fork. diffiCUlt, but it does look better. It may be more Fru1.ts If they are fresh, they are eaten with the fingers. For grapes or cherries, remove the pit or seeds from your mouth between your thumb and first finger. For larger canned fruits, cut the flesh away from the pits. The pits of canned cherries may be dropped into the spoon, then to the dish. Shrimp In a cocktail, they may be cut with a fork. If served whole as a dip plate, they may be eaten with the fingers. Olives Eat the flesh away from the pit. The pit should remain in the fingers and never get into the mouth. Emergency Techniques Spilling Food If a glass of water is spilled, an apology is all that is necessary, your If a bit hostess will take it from there. of food is spilled on the table, it may be retrieved with the fingers or one of the eating utensils. side of the plate. It is then placed on the Dropping Silverware At a formal dinner, ask the walter to bring you another implement. there is no waiter, pick up the implement yourself and your hostess will provide you with another. If Hair Or Fly In Food If this experience occurs in a prIvate home, be tactful and say nothing. Eat only the part of the food you care to If in a restaurant, you may ask the eat. waiter to exchange your plate for another. ) '\ J (\j Jj~,J ~ """ ::J Accessory Techniques Elbows Elbows 8hould be kept off the table and at your sides while cutting and while eating. Toothpicks Use toothpicks only in private. Passing Food Never help yourself to a dish that someone else has asked you to pass without asking permission from them to do so. At informal party, you are responsible for putting in to circulation the dishes nearest to you. an Table Conversation Conversation should be of such a nature so that all can enjoy and take part in it. Beginning To Eat It is considered courteous to wait until others have been served, either at the beginning of the meal or at the beginning of a new course, before starting to eat. At a large · banquet, it is acceptable to begin when the people in your immediate group have been served. Position At The Table flat on in your forward humping Sit erect with both feet the floor. Leave your hands lap when not in use. Lean from the hips, rather than over with shoulders drooping. Being Excused From The Table When you leave the dining room from a public dinner at a large table, excuse yourself only to your immediate neighbors. If at a private dinner, excuse yourself to your hostess or head of the table. Entering And Leaving The Dining Room If both men and women are present, men dis play all customary deference to the women, or to older or more distin guished persons. University Dining Room Directing The Conversation Your most valuable techriique Is a good leading ques tion. Almost everyone likes to talk about his interests and him self. Social Responsibility Make sure that everyone is introduced to everyone else. Sim ple introductions usually suffice: "Mary -----Betty." Entering And Leaving ------~~----~~b~e---a~Ilowed to enter and leave the The chief hostess should dining room first. Whether or not you leave before all have finished will depend on the custom of the dining room. Personal Appearance Be neat and clean. The men wear a shirt, tie, coat, and slacks for dinner. The girls wear their class-room clothes, except on Sun days when more dressy outfits are proper. On Friday nights and on Saturdays, girls may wear their hair pinned up and a scarf tied 8 . round it, but at no other time. Housemother Be courteous and polite. Follow the customs and traditions of your living unit. PERSONAL APPEARANCE It is a true mark of an educated person to know when and where it is proper to wear certain clo thes, wear them well, and to always be well groom ed. Be casual without being careless. Casualness is the key word on campus. Notice the dirty bucks, unpolished saddles, grey-toned sneak ers, and bobby socks. A major casual for girls is the absence of any kind of purse. There are very few ever in evidence. These practices are socially acceptable here even though they may not be in other places. Some of the clothes practices here are "musts" but should be changed when entering more conventional pla.ces. Class (casual) Girls Skirts, blouses, blazers, and sweaters, or any combination thereof is standard dress. We are not Ivy League enough yet to permit Bermudas to go to class. The footwear var ies with the season, saddles, loafers, white sneakers and bobby socks being the main in gredients for the year. Boys Sun-tans, slacks, shirts, sweaters, are the usual for fellows. Levis are not worn, ex cept for a specified activity. Be careful of fads----they tend not to flatter. Teas (dressy) Girls The various teas on campus call for a wool dress or suit. Gloves are a must, even if they are checked with your .coat. No hat is worn after six, but if one is worn before that time, watch out for extremes. Boys Suits and ties are always worn. Lecture-Concert Attending the LC series is one of the other times girls get a little more dressed up. Sometimes we tend to get too casual for this, and so let's keep in mind all of the visitors who will see us, try to get back on the hose and heels track. 'and Sport coats or suits B.re worn by the fellows, us ually the same they have worn for dinner in their living unit. This same attire is worn for almost all dates, dances, and smokers. Sports Class clothes go to most spectator sport events. Bermudas, slacks, and sun-tans are the most pra , ctical for active sports. These go on picnics, canoeing, etc. Let's keep short shorts on the tennis courts. Formal And Semi-formal Girls Semi-formal here means any apparel from a cocktail dress to a formal ••••• though we give top preference to cocktail dresses or short formals. Formal means dress to the "nth." Formals need not be long, nor are long gloves re quired, but be sure to look just a little nicer than usual. Semi-formal means wear a suit, no sport coats if you can help it. Formal means that you will probably have to pawn your belongings to buy, rent, or borrow a tux. Dark tux for winter and a white dinner jacket for summer or any time after Memorial Day. Gloves Gloves should be worn any time a hat is, and the times the coeds should wear a hat, but don't. If you have your gloves on, do not remove them to shake hands, and you need never apologize for them. Voice If you tend to garble your words, you soon will lose the attention of the people to whom you are speaking. Speak slowly and enunciate well so that people can understand you. The pitch of your voice is important too. Ten sion at sports events plays havoc with your vo cal cords, but it isn't necessary to say, "Play sprightly, old chaps" at a football game--cheer, but try to pitch your voice lower. This is a tremendous voice-saver. In the dorm or on a date, let's watch the lan guage we use. "In regard to profanity, this ad vice which is given to West Point cadets could be heeded by both men and women. that profane or obscene language bespeaks str ength of character or manliness is a wholly mis taken one. In ordinary conversation, even where only men are present, foul language is ill-bred and undignified." "The idea Grooming The main factor of appearance, good grooming, is a subject that hardly need be gone into, certain ly not after a person has reached college age. The usual frequent baths, clean hair, clean nails, plus the clean-shaven look for fellows are musts for a campus success. Girls, remember--we have faces; we don't wear a mask of make-up. This suggests that our faces un derneath are far from normal. , / / Class Tea Concert Semi-formal Formal Dinner ,Record Dance WOMEN Skirt Blouse Sweater Blazer Bobby Socks Wool Dress Suit Gloves Hat Hose Heels Cocktail Dress Formal MEN Slacks Sport Coat Sweater Sun-tans Shirts Tie Suit Tux x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x X(Sun. ) x x x(Sun. ) x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x Why be cautious about asking a certain coed for a date? She won't bite. Maybe thi~ is just what she has been hop ing you'd do for a long time. Never use the "What are you doing tonight?" approach. Ask her to go with you to a specific place at some spec ific time. If possible try to give her a choice of sev eral places to go. A last minute date is fun, if it comes up unexpectedly, but it usually makes the girl feel like a last resort to be ask ed the day before. There's a big "girl ask boy" affair coming up and what do you do now? A good approach would be •••• "Would you like to go to the dance at the Aud on the 'such and such' of March?" You don't need to beat around the bush, come right out and ask him. Besides, he's probably seen publicity for the af fair, so it won't come as too big a shock. Men ap preciate reverse situations occassionally, and he will undoubtly be flattered when you ask him. After the big date has been made, and you go to pick up your date at her living unit, it shows more respect if you come to the door or buzz her room from the main desk, than if you merely sit out in front of the dorm in your "little red wagon" and blow a big blast on your powerful horn. It may make certain of one and only one date with the "one." \ "What '11 we do tonight?" 1s apt to be a problem for couples who date a lot. You're lucky to be going to M.S.U. There are always lots of things to do here, and most of them are easy on money. It's easy to get into a rut, so don't be afraid to try something new. A few ideas are: study or coke or coffee dates, a lecture or concert, even a travelogue, all these cost little or no money. There are other things that do cost more, but student rates can be had for some, such as bowling, rollerskating, and ice skating. Pizza dates, ice shows, picnic or swimming dates will cost more but yet are very inexpensive forms of entertainment. There are also many big dances during the year, which are nominal in cost. Flowers are not a necessity at M.S.U. and few are ever seen at a dance, unless it is a formal term party. Union Board sponsors a dance one night each week end, and there are often other organizations which have square dances, so you never have to say there is nothing to do. You may find so much to do your grades will be gin to show it ••• so be careful. ~ CD C(f)~~ S1: . fP lid Mo~'e....-7 ~ G> · 9; P Ie. "';'--~ If there is an usher at the movie or concert, let the girl follow him. the two girls should sit between the two boys. If there are two coup les, If you are hunting for a seat in a movie, and there is no usher, the boy should go first, and after finding a seat let the girl enter the row first. - Don't b e a public liability by displaying affect ion wh ich creates distastful impressions on our visitors. Remember this campus is a mecca for thousands of visitors each year, and your uncon trolled, ridiculous, or thoughtless actions may cause us unwanted criticisms. I-----~, tlJ ) Is the boy still ex pected to open doors for a girl? Yes, he most certainly is: we think it shows part of being a true gentle man. Really it does n't take much effort, fellows. And we still adhere to the boy walking on the outside of the sidewalk. Will you be looked at as "out of itl! if you don't drink or pet? We're all confronted with both of these problems, and if we should or should not. No student, whatever his ag:e, may bring any form of alcoholic beverage on campus at any time. If you are over 21, you may drink legally ••• off and only off campus. Excessive drinking is considered in bad taste by students and the University, and disciplinary action is likely to follow immature judgment (_ , ~ on this matter. As for petting ••• do what you feel is according to your moral standards. What is wrong to you may ~ {,J be right to others. ~~ Let yourself be the sole judge of what to do about this. ~r~~~ . " _~ \ Boys, this is your night. The date is Dutch Treat, and this you will enjoy. Usually the boy and girl know each other quite well, but ex ceptions to the rule are becoming common. In the case of the Spinster's Spin, the girl does all; drives the car (eek) pays for the gas, buys dinner, pays for the dance and whatever the coup le wants to do af terwards. It is all right f9r the girl to get up and pay the bill' or if you wish, to/give the money to tHe boy so he can pay to~~~. ____________ ~ ENERAL COURTESIES The University has arranged a varied program of events--- __ social, athle tic, academic, etc. You not only take your ticket to these, but also your very best in manners. The Information colwnn in the State News is a good place to find out what's what on campus each day. Classrooms Pity the poor instructor who gets out of bed to come to his eight o'clock class of nodding heads with half-shut eyes. Or worse, to look at a sea of chewing jaws. If the lecture is particularly boring, read a book, draw pictures, do the crossword puzzle, that is-- - do anything but SLEEP or TALK. Some of the class might want to hear what the instructor has to say. There is one sure way to make a big impression on your instructor---a1ways be late to class. Someone once said you can learn more by listen ing than by talking. Put in your two-cents worth, but don't monopolize the discussion. Don't stampede when you leave the room----you'll get home for lunch just as quiokly. Conferences ALWAYS be on time for a conferenoe. If you can't ' make it, be sure to let the other person know. Be sure to knock on the instructor's door before you go into the offioe. If he is busy, wait out side. When entering, introduoe yourself, to re fresh his memory. Concerts and Plays If you arrive late to a ooncert, wait until the intermission to be seated. Rule number one for any public performanoe, 1s to be quiet. If you are not enjoying yourself don't spoil it for others. You, as students, are not the only ones attending this concert; many visitors to the campus are al so here. What you do and how you act reflects - on M.S.U. Meetings Don't interupt a meeting by coming late. Stick to the subject and avoid arguments, you can al ways have your private battles later. Dances Try to watch where you are going and avoid step ping on other's feet, little crowded. even if the floor is a Maybe you are in love with your girl, which is fine, but the dance floor is not the place to do your spooning. It is embarassing to others. We hear much about the Halls of Ivy, but girls dontt have to be the ivy, twining around a pil lar (their partner). Miscellaneous Develop a sensitivity to other's wishes and de sires by doing nice, thoughtful things. Pu~ or try to put,yourself in their place. M.S.U. is a friendly campus----Ietts keep act ive proof of it. Smile and say "hello" to peo ple you know, even to those you don't know --- it may lead to something interesting. Girls have the privilege of speaking first. Speak to anyone who look,S like _ . " r , y an acquaintance. She may have left her glasses at , home, vanity, you know-- ~) so if you get a blank stare from her, don't take it as a bad sign until she deliberately snubs you--then either give up or get an in troduction. . ~ 1\ To the young ladies-- accept the courtesies your escort shows you wi th a s inc ere tf thank you. tt l • J I When the sign says "No Smoking" that's what it means, if you don't want to be the one to set a build ing on fire, do pay attention. Cigarette smoking is obnoxious to the non-smoker. Remember to ask if anyone minds before you light up one of your favorite brand. If anyone does mind, try to heed your manners and refrain, just this once. Don't be sore if your best friend won't lend you his tie or her earrings. Borrowing is a personal thing; some do, some don't. something, be sure to return it in as good or in better condition than you got it. Always ask per mission of the owner before borrowing. Never just take things even if a roommate says "Go ahead." If you do borrow On the subject of rising •••• Men, always rise when a woman enters the room. When it is an older wo man, the girls get up too. When you walk on a narrow sidewalk, leave room for someone to pass you going the other way. Not more than two at a time should ever try to walk together. You are interviewing not only to find out about the company or firm that is conducting the in terview, but you are there to sell yourself to them. tions as a trained person, but also as a well- groomed, well-mannered individual. This is a first impression situation with your future rest ing on the results. They are not only viewing your qualifica Hair Combed Tie Straight Suit Pressed Shoes Shined • f '~ , .... BOYS, YOUR INTERVIEW? GIRLS, ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR INTERVIEW? Hair Combed Seams Straight Clothes Pressed Gloves Clean Know the name of the interviewer Know about his organization Be yourself during the interview One point to remember--don't seat yourself until the interviewer asks you to be seated. PLUS If a lady expects a gentleman to act like a gentle man, she must give him ~he opportunity to do so. This means that she does not reach for the matches, immediately push open a door, or put on her own coat. Maybe there is a girl in one of your classes you would like to take out. Call her. Tell her how you know her, and extend an invitation for coffee, which will enable her to become better acquainted with you. Then, if the situation proves itself to be favorable, ask her out for a coming week-end night. 1 It When service in a restaurant or beauty salon has been efficient and pleasant, a 10% - 15% tip should be left. We have a beautiful campus, and it is our duty as inhabitants of this campus to maintain its beauty. This means that waste paper and cigarette butts are deposited in the proper containers, not on the grass and sidewalks. And, too, we do not walk on the grass, but use the sidewalks. An M.S.U. student crosses the street while a motor ist patiently waits. By all means, the student will acknowledge his appreciation to the motorist, if only in the.mannerism of a nod. Saying "thank you tt is the most polite way of saying you appreciated someonets kindness. But equally important is returning the consideration by saying "You're welcome". When inviting chaperones to an affair, make your plans specific, including time, dress, who will greet them, and type of party or dance. Include your housemother in your social events. If your parents are visiting you, be sure you in troduce them to your housemother. When someone comes into your room to visit you, make them feel completely welcome and at ease. If this person is lIl1ch older than you, be sure to rise. We mst frequently meet with members of the fac ulty and administration. Because of their busy schedule, we must be sure to make a.n appointment with them beforehand. Shoy your enthusiasm for your team by attending the games and pep rallies no matter how large or small the opponent my be. Lines consist of those people who have stood and waited. It is our responsibility to wait our turn, too, a.nd not to cut in a.bead of others. M.S.O, \0 ue.- t~ / we.- s\'odows- APPRECIATIONS We wish to thank the fac ulty, administration, liv ing units, and c~pus or ganizations who made pos sible this book. Also we wish to thank Miss and her Elaine Ridderman coromi ttee, who compiled the information contained in the book. The credit for cover, fore word, layout, typing, edit ing, and art work goes to Miss Diane Dahlquist. NOTES NOTES