THE  BUBBLE. 

NO.6.  Single Copies, 5 Cts. 

LANSING,  SEP'l'EMBER  19,  1868. 

Hezekia.h Z.  Solemnstyle,  Editor. 

• 

TUB BUBDLE  is  publiijhed  by  the  STOICAL 
I:'BN  YASKtllL!J'  SOCfST\".  nt  th e  AORRICUL' 
'rURAL Cor,r. ROy.. 

-

Issued  on  Snlurdny,  Juno ~>()th;  lignIn ' 

Ott  Bntlll'<1ny,  July  18th,  011(1  at 
of lln:eo  ,vook"  thCl'Mftor, until, In all, Hovon 
number",  hnvo  b een  publh:lhed.  Bul)9cdp' 
tlOtl price tor  the n~c Inst.,numberll, 2;j  centl<. 

intervals  I 

Correspondence solIcited. 
All  Conl1nUUic.ltlOtiH  must b e  ih,h,lre8s (:<.1  to 
tile  SHCRE'l'A1tY  01~  TJlE  S.  P.  Y.  S.,  ;IU.'If. 
STATB Aon':r. COI.LEOI"!. 
'====~~===----
Editorial. 

Again  we come to  give  the  world 
greeting, 01'  to  reform  it,  os  Uncle 
Hez would say, wore he  writing thi& 
editorial.  But he is not  writing it 
he hns gone 'away on  importallt bUB 
iI)ess,  of  which  we  will  s penk  in 
another place,  l\ence  it  is  thnt  you 
see great instead of reform. 
. It was witlt  much  hesita,tioll,  aud 
after  long  exhortations,  that  Uucle 
came to the conclusion to  trust to UB, 
t.ho  youugel' Pen Yankees,the edit-ing 
of  this  number  of  the  BunDLE. 
rrears were in his eyes wilen  he  left, 
and  he  said,  "Boys,  I  am  afraid , 
thaI you  will  make  1\  botch  of  the 
thing."  B\1t he has  gone,  and  now 
we can  prInt what we are a  mind to. 
Our motto--not Uncle's,  he  says.  it 
1s not refined  enough,  and  therefore 
would  not  print  it-is  "Bubble  or 
bust," and we  will do it. 

As soon  lIB the  old  gent  had  gone 
we called It special meeting of tho  so 
cioty  to  coos[der the  question, ItS  to 
whether we should net on  the  "bub .. ) 
ble or bust" part of our  mollo.  Tho 
ml\iorlty (all but me,)  were  in  favor 
of acting on the last  melltioned;  but 
when we went to the  bank  to  ura w 
the  money  necessary 
to  do  the 
thiug lip in good style-behold  there 
\Vas  not a  cent  there r  The old miser 
had,taken nll the money  with  him; 
so, as we could get no  money to  buy 
the  neces.~ary "auatcnnnl:e," we very 
carefully, and with much  hesitation, 
took up the "bubble" end of the mot 
to, and after once llJore going  to  U;e 
bank,  to  se  if there  was  not  somo 
mistake  in  regard  to  the  money, 
carne to  the conclusion to bllbble. 

And  this,  dear  readers,  have  we 
done • • Is  the paper lacks  in interest, 
or should it cOl)tain too mapy  fiights 
of a  bOY[8h  nature,  remember  that 
the boys are to blame, am)  not Unde 
He~. 

' 

.. 

SENIOR'S  SONG. 

L-ons,  long  I'vo  toiled  while  l\oubt !J  n·nd 

][nvo hlndel'cd oft th' IHU'suit of knowledge, 

foaf9, 

Atcommou sohools lor man:r yearl>, 
And laH~ at th' AgrlcuUuml  College: 
Ah, yes!  my pnth ore  now hl\8 1>eoll 

In many places rongh filH1  stormy, 

And mauy figloomy dny I'vo secll, 

Hut novr I'll HOOIl  try M .\ TltTVO:S \'  ~ 

Oil!  I've worked  hard s ince I  set  ou t  ' 

'1'0 gain It lIb' rnl educAtion; 

Bnt now the tlmo hus COUl e  I\ uoul, 

And I  am neal' to graduation; 
·A  few days  ouly ytlt 1 Sin:,>' , 
'1'0 study, or to U80 the pOlley, 
(AI\d then, oil 8ohoolH! farewellfOl' nyc, 
For 1 am f)Ollud  for M ..... 'mulosY! 

M,r  College frl e llt!8.  who hero  I'c umln 

An ol,h or y ear or so to plo(loll, 

I  hope  In tlm.o, like mc,  y on' ll goi n 

"Tho promlsod  lon<llH',)'onti the Jordal1 ; .. 

Farewell, flu'owoll, I'm off to  seck 

'I'lIn t  1alld which" flows  "i'lth  milk mid !lOn 

'l'ell nIl my fl'l e nds  you chnnce t.o Sl)cak 

cy;" 

'l'hut ram trying ?tfA'rltlUONY! 

Why  Not!" 
l\!uny strange things I  find  in  thiA 
(us  ssme  choose  to  term  it,)  "hard 
world," but  which  world  Bppears to 
me the best olle I  have  ally  knowl 
edge  of;  yet among  them  nil,  nOllo 
seems more  strllnge  and  unaeoltnta· 
b[,s  than  the  different  views  people 
take of the same  thing.  Indeed,  80 
striking  this  appears, that  I  am 111-
most constrained to  t.hink that mnn's 
happiness  lie.  wholly  in  his  own 
power,  and  that outside  influences, 
,....-hother  for good or evil,  llava  noth 
ing to do with  his  enjoyment.  How 
often we tllld  those surrounded  wUh 
wealth, ease, and nil  thnt  is  calcula· 
ted to promote pleasure,  yet they are 
peevish  01"  fretful,  and  when  good 
luck  comes,  they  worry  for  fenr  it 
will he followed  hy  bad,  and  If  bad 
comes, ihey fear  worse-nevor know .. 
ing what  a  happy  mom~nt Is.  On 
the contrary; we  find  those who  are 
compelled to  labor to-day for to·mOl·" 
row's  bread- having  nothing  but  11 
clear conscience  to  cheer  them- yet 
when misfortunes come they  Rre not 
despondent,  but happy  in  the  hope 
that there will corne a  brighter day- 
even  when  the  clouds  of  afH[ction 
seem darkest. 

Why not,  then; nct the  wisel'  purt, 
looking  on  the  bright  side  of  all 
thing', and thus live  happily  in  the 
prosent-thinking  not  that  but  the 
future  wili  he  'weU  if wo  seek  true 

enjoyment while the present  is  with 
us? 

Why not let each shining dew-drop 
seem  as costiy  pearis ?-not  think 
ing it the charming eye of  some hid· 
den reptile, ever rlllldy to  spring up 
on you unR wares ? 

Why not hope  that  to,day  is  the 
worst,  and  Ulat  to-morrow  will  b 
better ./ 

Surely, it will  1>0  as easy to do, and 
and bettor for a1l,  and then this beau 
tiful world  wili  be  a  paradiso  hero 
below 
-

TRY IQ'. 

I 

~'  Things are  Workin'  " 

DEAl'  UNCLE  HEZ:-'=Wishing  to 
gain  u.  reputation as n Pen Yank; r, I 
shall take as my  subject,  this  quoto' 
Hon  foom  the  celebrated  Locke,  and 
proceed  to  show  the  readers  of the 
DUDBLE,  that  "things 81'e  workin,' " 
though it Dlay  be in  l\ ' wrong  direc· 
tron. 
- As it~i[:\  nearly  time to  think about 
winter schools, I  shall  take  up  the 
subject  of  schoolma'ams,  etc.,  am) 
endeavor to  prJve  my  point. 

NOW,  I  always didesleem l\ school 
ma'am as  being  a  Iittie  betler  than 
other folks,  nd  do yet;" but facts re 
cently  developed  show  conclus[ ve[y 
that there  are  maoy  of  this  calling 
who had belter be  at  home  helping 
their  motherH. 
I  had  the  mis!or 
tune, a short time since, to get cnught 
out  in l\.  storm;  n  school-house  near 
by presented Its  friendly appearance, 
and  thither  I  repaired  on  double, 
quick  for shelter.  I  was met  at  the 
door by the  teacher,  who was  a  lady 
about twenty,flve  years  of age,  tall 
and strnight,  with  long,  black  hair. 
which  hung  in  curls  somewhat  re· 
sembling n rope partially  unraveled. 
She referred me to the  only chair the 
school-house  afforded;  it was  an  old 
rush-bottom  chair,  with the  bottom 
nearly  aU  ~'u8lted out. 
I  experienced 
"  feeJing of dread  as  I  accepted  the 
proffered  seat, a  dread  of something 
to follow-no less  than  a  horizontal 
pOSition  upon  the  fioor.  My  fore· 
I  had  no soon 
bodings proved true. 
er  settled  myself  into 
the  chair 
than  down  I  went,  to  the  amuse 
ment of the whole  school.  I  got up,  
made a  few long strides, and sat down 
upon  -It  back  seat.  Now  for  a  dis 
cription of the 8chool-I will  fl:ive  it 
t'twbatim : 

• 

\ 

... 

"You  may read, Joh  ~.  '£oe  this 
In31'k  and  read  loU( ." 
he  lad  be 
gnn:  "'1'-h-o-r-e  W-3-S  an  old- ape." 
HEI .Ilad  got  thus far,  :when  "  little 
" 
girl  prosented  her  book. 
" Whot 
,vora1Slbat !"  -
.tuBeeswux." 
hrruke  your  seat.  B ead,  Johny'" 
· "By-the.-1.l1ame-of-Sim-'~ 
"  ~fay I  go out  ?" ~aid n  smnJl iboy 

-
n 

' 

sitting otl the frorlt  seat.

' 

,. 

0001'." 

U  No;  come'  and  shUld  upon  the 
, 
By this time there was a  half dozen 
teacher 
to  have' 
pronounced,  present'jug  ~ 

waiting  by  the 
words 
scene en.sier to be  imagined  t·han des 
cribed.  Amidst the general hub-bub; 
ivoice'called out: 

"May r  go after a  llilil of  water?" 
"Yes-go '  qnick.  nend  aga.in, 

J ohuny- begin the piece anew." 

'I Thcl'o- was- an-old-a-p-o--" 
['Voice:l'  "foe Sykes keeps all tlle 

time a-throwing  plaSter I" 

"J'oseph'; .tcome  here.  Johnny,  go 

I 

' . 

- J 

out and cut'a  whip." 
At tHis juncture, :r cast myJeycs oue 
of !lie window.  At a  ,short  di~tance 
from  thOlf SC11001-house,  tlloro  sat  a' 
pail of water;  a pig stood quietly sip 
ping'of its  cotltents.  After  the  ani 
m&.1  fiad  s laked  rts  thirst,  it gav;e'1L' 
satisfied grunt  and walked  off,  after 
which th'e bt>y, who had been at play 
liard  by,  pic  ed  up  the  pail  and 
brou~ht it ill. '  Afte;'  alJ,a had  parta 
ken "of  thle  tieverage,llncluding  tho 
. , 
teacher, who drank two  cupfuls;-J  th e) 
( 
d ass 111 fractIous wus  caL'ted  out, 
: :'Josopli/ ''Yhat al'e  frHctions?" 
,-,l'I~don' t·-kno\V . 
I  J:' 
1911 
esson. 

\Vas~that-- the 

~ .. , It  17 + 

I,J 
r 

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, 

, 

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j 

ICNe~t:  What are fractions? 
":Timt-wasn't- in-lhy.....::.book·'l 
,',',"V'ftat  a 1 Bplen4idl~.,et!  Stah<1  up 

on the floor and  study." 

• r- • 

I 

I 

I 

, 

T 

" 

J. 

I' 
JlY  pus I1me tM who!e school, with 
the eXC0l(tiOll of olie who was  out nf-
, 
f 
te~a wh  p,  w'ere  st.anding·  lWOll.  the 
,Johnny 80'on appeared,  bring 
floor. 
ing a llugeblue-beech.  ~ saw plainly 
that t.he Ct'isis h~d come: and it occnr, ' 
l'od  to1 irie1ihat'  I  had  better  "git"  
f9r  tile squalliug of childrbn  does  not 
agree with 'my  bachelor  pl·oclivities. 
'I  accordingly  made my  exit to  the 
tune 'by' which r made my entrance 
keeping' m'y  bands, to my ears to shut 
off,  in ' part; 
'he  sh rieks  mid  yells 
,,;.h'ic~'  s90n'  begnnuill  good  eal'nest. 
III  conclusion, I  ~vould say to those 
irltetXdilig,  to  feach:  Never ) k eep 
inorl ,thai! six  01'  eight standing upon 
the floor at once.  ~ might  sugge.t a 
few  capital  ' modes  of  punishment, 
but  have! J )lot  the  time  nor J  space. 
Those  '~ho wish  private  adv,ice  will 
CARL  MONDOZO. 
please ~ddres8 
'Don't  forget to  send  stamp 

N. B. 

j' 

, 

, 

to prepay post-age. 

'  , 

This  gai m waR  interdoosed  by :.Mis 
Sary Blogit,  hen *~ it is  of femai;  91'; 
agin. 

1'. 

'1'0  pia Crokay--Invants fore  mauls, 
and fore pieccs';ofwoud  maid  round, 
and some llalekag  hups  stuck  in t.he 
g round. 

The Cl'okay  g rounds  arc  uzely  by 
the  side  of  the  rode.  The  rezon 
of  this I  never cud tel,  unles it iz be 
cauz" t.he fakes can se the gurU;  when 
tha pia. 

Gurls pIa crokay  cauze it iz a gurls 
gaim.  Bois snmtimes  du  when  tha 
kan,  but tha moast alwais  get beet. 

I  noe of sum bois who  like too  pia 
CroI{ay so weI, that tha sta awa frame 
resitashun, and then thn get  a  blak-, 
marck.  I  alIso  no e  sum" bois  who 
plade  so  lait  at  nite  at  Professor's, 
that ho  cnim oute  and  gu.iv  t:}lem  n. 
I  wood  advize  the 
lantern to se hi. 
bois not to stn awa from  clas,  becauz 
t.ha  wit  get  gode  for,  which'  jz  not 
varn  p!ezent. 

fl'his was rote by a 

SOJj"EMORE. 

---.- -

A  BALt.AD. 

"  ALL  01;'  'l'HE  Or~D EN 'l'DI1i:. 
'tlJ 

, __ ~J' 

!  J 

l 

I 

''chore wus a  sound of deviU" /J 
At th' i,lln of  Otis Full;1  II  _. 
Tilc Ol;:c,moslc chi',,"ulry 
Hud gMl] el'ed  for 1\ ball . 

I" 
'J'he  fl1ireS \  ladlcsof t ho lund, 

't 

, 

t, 

,1J 

"  (Saine five or six or mol',}), 
n 
!fAsscnbled tlimoupon thM 'nlghL 

I 

I 
, 
,J' • 

V~ :\.~ oftooti\\}y 'd  dono l)of01'O. , 

"H  t  It~'  ,J 
"$Ure somCthlll.@'strullgcnn\s  )'11"  6CCU1,J 

~ 

,J  I 

co," 
J 
\yasp ~lt>  l~qard to say" 
"I newer :Qad so s m n-'ll u.  Crowd 
':As  this thnt'S11crCt to-cln,y." 

. 

I 

LO)lg did he gnze with wlstfu1  C~'C , 
Aml  'vlslled tllil.i he m ight seo 

' 

,I' 

:  SOrn Et otJle~' j o lly  souls dl'aw~ nigh  I;  Jl',I] 
_  1.I;p) oin the compan le, 

,II 

t 

11 

' T'ras'l\l~ fOl'  naught:  his  wi s h  WI\,'$  \"11111,; 

v  Al a.';,  for Otis Fa.ll ! 
" He half dctel,htined no'o~ ngaln 

'fI)  , 

To  hnvennot,hci"bhll. 

'  I 

, 

.But Otis soon 'beCftn;e a  s Ol'bbd 
In a. deop  l'CI,'0110, 
To  ~ee If ho could only thjnk 
\ VIlat m Ight tI,e matter ~)P ', 

, 

',A  'til 
• II 

lIe thought. w1toIl  all hIs lptght. nUll main, 

"  He pondered long und w oll, 
,  But the conclus ion  th at h e matIe 

11 

I  sca rcely da ro tb 'tclI, 

') 

\,  But 'why ah oul(l  I  ha~e fCftI'  at nIl  t  r  tn'l! 
,I  ['0 let the lfiattel' ant? 

For ev'l'Y 0l.\0 lmows Otis  Ij'rul 
I 
'flint, Ih""os al~J]g this route, 
I 'IUelllt, thon, aml h ere b,egin l 

" 

11 

,  By Ox.plallni ion s m all, 
'i'was luck of prov'ous d IscIpli n e 
A nd that's  completely all. 
I} 
'11'01' welll;C k~e~v tilai t1m~s 6e r~l'c 
[1]110  management was ill,: 
ne'd  novor  plosc hl ~ bUl'-l'Q,o;m  dOOI', 
Bui nlt,or  this h e  will, 

I 
tt..l,  fI 
t  l '  ,fT 

n 

' 

ThOll Otis muden. solcmn vow 
'I"oscllnogngat nU; " 

'\' 

• 

"For  who,"  said h o, "with conllu on  son se. 
' Yonld over  da.l'o su ppose 
'1'hat ladies o'er ,would C01Hlescojft1 
'1'0 dance wItI!  dl'll11kc n  IJC(l.ll X? 

... 

And llOW  I  do dcclare w J t,h  force, 
Defol'O threo oibermcn , 
Iii timo of balls, IJIl  elu~ll ge my eOtll'Se ' 
And s oli  n o grog llgaln! " 

'Ve hopo that oth ~rs- i16,,'  will m ako 
'1'hls resolutIon s tl'ong, 
Resolve ut once to never take 
A. course t)lnt 18 so  wrong. 
AntI, all!  yo roOll  of 'YJlJlamston, 

,  or DeIhl , Mason, all, 

' 

You boitel'  cach  and ov'ry one 
Bc w h.a, ltl< c Otis Full. 

A  VJ'.N)" A NKElt. 

How they  do  It. 
- .- " 
llY  .TUDAS, 
- - , " 
".l~IHl 'tis a.  lovely  s,lgh~ , 
'1'0  ~~ e t hosa boys go  boldly IOrth 
lOn every Frl<1hYlllght!" 

.. , 

Yes,  tho season of "wet,  fruit"  has. 
arrived and  many  consultations  are ' 
held by certain nspiring youths, ,how 
best to entch  t.ho  birds.  But it  is ad 
mitted by the wise that  when "night 
throws her sable mantle o'er  the fair 
fnce of natul'0'j"  wh<::n  the  light-s  are 
darkened in t'he hall j  when' the tread 
of feet  have  censed,  except  as  now 
and  then 
some  POOl'  gormandizer, 
who forcea  to leave  his ned,  flits like 
a spectre through the 'han;  when the 
weary  sentinels' ]mve  fallen  asleep j 
when the' H:llines  do begin  to  cater 
wauI / fhen 'is the tJme -tci  go  10rth  to" 
catch thel\\!, 

' J "  

So,' 

tt . neh a  timo,  ,"vith  slow  and 
rneasnred h'ead, c~l1ipped  from  ~tead 
to foot,  and n.  mysterou's'pair of pants 
worn curiollsly~ al!ound the  neck,  in~ 
sfead df where  na.tpre  intended  that 
they should bo pille.d,  they go forth . 
Over la wlls and through Janes,  in the 
wood and ovet;'<'1itches, lacross  m ead 
ows  and  bogs,  ugliinst  stumps  and 
over  logs, 'Past  barkhlg  ilogs  and' 
sleeping cows- -in fact,  tlirough, over 
ana  undel'  whatever  may  impede 
their ,yay, to  the  haunt of  the  wet 
fl!llit they tnlke  tl1eir  course,' 
, Wt last  their  destination  is  reach 
ed j  they mount t<he  erfciosure;  they 
jump to the other side, but disturbing 
R>fiock  ofgeese; ~whicti set  up  a  most 
awful squalling, thsy silbsitle into the 
. cornet of the fence. 
'rhe 8leepy  sen' .. 
tineIs'yo.wn,  and say guess  ,it's  noth 
ing  but th'e calf got loose,  or  the  cat 
walking  witl\ her  bean,  that  makes 
the geese faet so . .  '1" 
,Soon all' becomes <juief;  the bipeds 
stretch 'up their neckS'  and  po'er  cau 
tiously around, ' oven .... as'  ibud-turtlcs' 
putJorth theil'  heads  ,vllen  recover 
, ing from  a.  fri ght, 
'1'he way is clear; 
they make  a break;  the ,iesired tree, 
whero roosts the birds, is  found  j  'one 

,..  .. 

J , 

• 

, 

f 

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"1" 

climbs it, and one  stands  s~n tinel  on 
t he ground.  One vigorol1sshnlce,fi\ul. 
down comes the  animals.  A  silence 
like ulnto dpnth  ensues j' they  listenl 
j 
all is w ell j  b)eJ,.t'tions  arc  again  1'0-
smn ccl,  aiM  now  "'those  mystel'iOllS 
pants arc brought in fo  use j  th~y, 
1'0 
quickl y' filled, lliaced st\'Oddle  of  fhe 
,.1  J. 
iteCI~ ,  and-
<Now  I  supposo ihe  reader  is  c. -
pectin g  to see '80me  ono  pOl1lleo  ou£ 
nnd cat'e:'  the hunters, 01'  mako theril 
l'mi ahd lose  rHe  fruits oftHcit'lnbo'l's j 
but belug caugh~ is not" pare dr -'the 
way they do it." 
'fhey  retu'I'H  Jeven 
more quietly than ihey carile,  depos 
it their birds in somel  seclud ed  nook 
in  their  1'00111,  and  l'otil:c  to  1'CSt. 
'.rh'o  next rool'lling they appeal'  fresh 
and vigol'ons at th e breakfast table, n. 
h eavenly  Rlllile  lilluniinnting  t hei-r 
countenances-t.he  result of  1\  night's 
quiet l'est,. 
,I 
[When .I  told  Uncle  He.  what I 
was  going  to  write  about,  he  snid 
thnt I  must g ive it a  moral  tone  j  but 
I  do l10t  know Lhow  to do it, 80  U ncle 
Hez;  nndJthe )'est  will bn VO J  lo. excuse 
me: ' 
~! 

11) 

H 

I 

~ 

A  PARODY. 
. ....,.,....,.-; 

BY  JI~K 8 . 

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II 

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t 

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'.rhofl.  Dl:n'ssy Band I  fl lou 'B I'nSSy 'Hn nd! 
Row slHl'nt SUllset lfis to alflnd 
A rrll', !\I\4 lis t  tl1oso llOtCI:!  oj Ihhv.l, 
WhJeh H9lllld llke t.I~os~ oj' [ltlll \8h e~1 ~ will e{ 

,  '~1JJO.U nl'l\lJ~Y .Btln\!!  thYlI llU,'iiC 'twoU.r,. , 

Aml,mnny It ~ p~e!ul ~n lo H. toll,V' 
Of lon g, . hlf).ck  m nl'lQ>  w\lich 
'I  I 

, 
ll O~Qr sh Ml 
'II  ' 
'Jt  j 
1"01'  bOOlrt; neglectcd, fallul'c!S  nliltle' V  J 

[atlo,d  II 

Ii(! 

" 

~ 

.... 

Il"  No doubt nt,lnll ;when  r  1\1\\ gono 

Il'hW:lO t,nneless f,>l l}sW }\' Ill Still l'lng  op-
When othe l' p oeb  hero s~nll Htnud, 
AI\(\ ll cnr thy  discords , BrnS8y  &11(1 ! 
... 

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The· Social. 
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' DE~n ' UNOL'  HEz:-It  6ccutS ' tb 
1"1e  that" brIef but  truthful  account 
of tbo social held in Okemos, on  Sat 
urday  evening,  Sept.  12th, _ at  the 
houl:le  orM!'s.  'V- - - ,  would  not be 
,out · of place  ill  t.h ~ '  number  of  the 
'.rhe eVClling of  tho  meet 
BUDn):.E. 
ing  was  very  ')lensant  fol'  visiting, 
alld  seveml members  of the  SOCiety 
arrived at  tho scene  of  aetiort . quite · 
'1'ho  visitIng  cmnmencec1  at 
early. 
dnce.  Some  la(lghed  a\'(1 
talked  " 
little; others  assumed  "  cOlllfort"ble 
attitude, and while  silently  conlem 
' plating  their  llieasantj :IUl'l'oundings, 
seemed  to  be  en;grtgetl  ) n  'mentally 
. fabricating somethIng to say. 

While silence \vas  broodlrlg  like h 
g;  ntle  spirit  o'e!. 
this  quiet  little 
group, tho wild .,Jlotea,of the  " :Brqssy 
Band"  rent tho  air.  The group  fell 
into confnsion j  some  sprang to  their 
feet . and  stared  wildly  into  space, 

while oth ers, of a  quick er  apprehen 
sion, sll cceeded  after fI.  little  in  com  
prehendllig the new  state  of  aft'airs, 
" 
in  nn  eXCltccl  mnnner: 
and  sal CI, 
"Let's No' in to  th e  hal t  and  ch eer. 

pft. 

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OlD. 

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f '   ' 

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We di(1  so. 

:rhe 'band  boy, ,' arlm; 
seeing to their h Ol'IlSJH"Opol'ly ,m nrch  
C~l  into tberfdrnwing-ro~?J.n ~Il  ffi,uuqa 
tll1g m  mbcl's.  Penyan~{er!:l ancl ruu 
Sicim{s  nredomhinhild.  r  'fhings  soon 
;;ot 
llvely.  Several  young  Iqdics 
Hponncled  th e forty"  with vigor  pro· 
portionnl to  th e1r  respectivo  dim en 
sions.  Vh!iting  bccnm d fl quito  nn 
item , but was disturbed some ' on  RC 
count  of  th6  l'e1l!t16n  ill  res,Pect  to 
nnmber  that  ex i ~ t ed  b et w ~en  the 
gentleman and  the  lndies:'-the  ratio 
otr the former to thc latter bei ng-about 
'Ve  had  refreshments 
three to  on o. 
at  mid-evening;  two  kinds  of  "I . 
scream'"  woro  l>l'oduc!9d;  It very  em 
ble "speclcs  of  cake  was  clistribnt'e\l 
among  the company ,  fi nd  wns  thor 
oughly · relished. 
'.Fhe  items  of  the 
last meeting were re~d by  one of  the 
young ladies,  and adopted  wit h  Fon 
l:Iidemu1c' ~ntisfil.Ctioll allQ SOl  '0 laugh-
' ~ 
J. 
tel',  fOl'  It  contnn eu  t:i0l1'0  very , fnn-
ny thrllg~ ,  Aftm;  t}lis,  ongs  q ~ lF-

t c .   j 

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H 

red  11'equcntlyp .  on(,l  an  occa  101101  I 
blast from  t.he  "Brossy Ba,nd" g ra ted 
'(g reeted )  ou r enrs. 
J . !  
'rhe n~xt J'P portm,1t 'p"tter wqs the  i 
r~ques till g of 1\11'. S. t,o make n speeclv  I 
,A udience ~ave ear . . . 1"11'.  {3.  struc~\ta ! 
),!e!lacin,g  nt!it ld~: nl~d  exaltfcll.~l1  I 

I 

t 

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.11 

,vrOICC .  After  n  allY . ;V,lq~pl,1t  gestlCn 
lations,  diaboli e;.'1\i01ptecn.t~Ol)S,  cou-
si\leraLl9  dl,\play  of  "talo,/s,"  and  I 
ehicidal ioll of np~nts," r. h o  sllcC<'qclcd 
in  [)ortI'ohng  tile  '\inferl1 al  qtls::e(l~ 
ness" uf scc'Pssionism ,  an~l  ~tnblish­
iug un  exceptional  fnllibili ty .pf,J the 
rule  of 'short division . 
, 
• 
'" A collectiOJI  of lu?re  topl~  pla~,?  . r 
course.  Each one, It 18  belIeved/ con-
\ 
h?bufcd an amount being !I  fair  pro-
portion to his ready fllnds,  anu  ~fter 
tho  company  {Ie 
sorn e  hesitntion 
. 
~amped. 

• 
In cOllclnsioll,  I  feel  myself  ull ~t el' 
obligation to say; on be'half of the So 
ciety,  that  wo  had  "  very  pleasant 
time InUeed.  An ' yho .won \d  have n 
happy, as well as  attraCtive  plae  of 
/' 
refuge, 011gl\\  cer  ainl:\!. to  become  " 
mem bel'  of the Philomela So~iety . 

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If 

t, 

I( 

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MJss-,t- ' 

JlE!b. U ncle' He'; has  gone  north  to 
·lI1idl1md City.  He pretended that he 
was  going  to  look  aft",r  the  educa 
tionnl,interests of  that place, but  we 
have good reasons for  thinking  that 
. he luis gone to try and get a wife(_ He 
t.old us,  not long  Since,  that  llC  onco 
'came very nour  to marrying n certain 
lady  up  t here-he  was  willing, but 
!~he wasn't! 

Popping  the  Question. 

Belipye  J'!'l.c,  fl1 iI'  perso ns,  t here is, 
in m y  excited  imag ination,  m ore in 
cluded  in this ono short phrose, "Pop 
ping  t he  Question,"  than  in  all  th e 
teeming  volumes t·bat giVe to  us the 
history of Confucius.  It is t he insur 
mountable ,barrjer  w,hicl;  exists  be 
tlw ee ~  the  Inconignble  bachelor a'l1<1 
1h  happier  benedict;  th e  impassa 
ble  g ulf  intc1'venil)g  behvoen  the 
hopeless, .. JorIo1'n  spJ}lister  and  tbe 
Indeed,  could 
blooming.  m atroll. 
only so~c ling uist, or some Inw-glvol' 
o~(  sOI~i al  sGi~llce,  discover  on  easier 
upproach to the Ilupt,inl felicity, what 
n  blessing  would  1,>0  cOllf" rrc9  upon 
society  und  the  world  foreverj  for 
t here  is  nothing towards  which  my 
m \nd  reverts  with  Fmcll  feelings of 
nervouS  hol'1'or as ,towards "Popping 
the Q uestiqn." 

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fl  • •  1, 

Having Hrl'ived  nt  rthat  period  in 
Hfe when  0.  young Il1l\l1  i s upt to settle 
the perfcctllre of his amenities in the 
bonds pf  wedlock,  and  being  firmly 
decided  "1'  to  the  object of my  un 
bended .ardol', ,I  ex pel'~e ncc the grent. 
in  bringing my-
cst' difficulty  ~v<tll 
"elf w ~thlll  the  latlttlde  of POPPlIlg 
tnlent  in 
the Question .  I , lmve  no 
tile  direction  of qramf).ticnl  l?,el:fol'lll  
an('es-r.lI~cy t ,have  not  th o  effusioll 
of flo\Ncry aictiori' to  breathe in  Rub 
dued c.motions  J~y long pent  up pas 
siops 1 on  tI:e. ' rav)shed  cnr  of  my 
swoo lr~g  Ja il'  Ol~e.  'ro mo  th e pos 
tu~e of cubict, th e,soft sigh and  80ul 
telling  oy~s,  nr9  " thi ~lg~ . illimitable • 
:A,d(l  to al,!  tbis  t,flO  cha,llces,  though 
small, of n  refusnl, find  th e  m en ~ ure 
of my  distnnce llosculminnted .  ..$.lns! 
~ny i~Vf~,y 1\fn~~ndn! mUlit  jt ever  pe 
l hus . 
Excessive cl Ul1dence alld  stern  n e 
cessity  are. as  incomt.aiiblo  in  this 
case, as t;1Io union Of  0,11 with  ~he pro 
duction 01'  hydtogeu ;  and  the  more 
,I  at.tempt  to  dissipate illY  fears  by 
th o force of logical Jcasoll , the farther 
I  ani  inf.ricated  within. the  labrynth 
of irresolution. 
'fhough  gl'eat  WUh 
the quill, and  prOlific in  lofty fiights 
of imag ination, yet, within  thy pre 
sence,  nlY  intrepidity  vanishes,  my 
cillctimlocutfion  is changed to  difficult 
n.rtiC1.I1n.(.ions, Rlld  Jny mouth, alas, so 
far from perfol'Jning th e desil'ed office, 
may as welll,ave" safety  valve.  At 
least .a thought  Maliutla  at  the  ter 
minal of our last evening's courtship, 
· wbon,  ofter  Jline  consecutive hours 
.hAd  whil ed l\\vny,  which to  me seem 
. ed  freighted  with  the  very agoliy  of 
blis,",  I  was compelled, at least by the 
rapid  approach  of  dawn ,  to  d epart· 
with  all  my  emotions  unexpressed 
and unreciprocated,  How.long, alas! 
shall  this  intolerable  state of  affairs 

continue!  Neither  being  ablo  to 
chnuge  the center of my  nttractions, 
the  angie of my redcctions,  01'  over~ 
como the point of my r es ifltam~e . 

I  urn,  tl'uly yours, 

X.  Y. ZAN A. 

A.  Model  Letter. 
' - ' -

['fho  following  sublime  picco  of 
composition, which we fi!td  "floating 
on  the  breezes"- belng  probably  nn 
uumailep  epistle  lost  out  of BOrnO 
one's window-will we  doubt not  be 
fully  appreciated  by  ottr  student 
ii-iend..  We hope  it will  produce  a 
good  ofloct  upon  slich  hard-benrted 
fathers as nUew  their promising  sons 
to suffor for  tho  "needful"  while  at 
College. 
'Il he letter  ex ploins itself. 
[En. BUBnLE.l 

AGlt'L  COLLEGE, Sept. 1st,  '68. 
OIL!  D ear Falher:- SCl1d  m o  somo 
moro "filthy lurre"-Ulore  ot  "dross 
and stuff',1)  for  I  am  sadly  ill  need 
thereof,  Tho  kll ees  and  other  l'Ol'~ 
tlons of my pantaloons do  ya~u, tho 
toes of my  boots  do  gape  a  horrid 
abyss,  my  hat  is  It  'shocklng  bad 
one,' and 10!  I  possess uot the where 
withal to  purchase other, or  to  have 
tho  old  garment::!  meuded.  Verily, 
my pockel-book doth  resemble  t·hat 
celebrated Olle  UpOll  which  the  ele 
phant did  plant hi~  feet-so  that  I 
may  safely  say  with  BhakRpere,: 
"Who steals  m.y  purso  stenls trash ;" 
and in do not get Borne of the 'ready' 
soon, I  may  contiuue  to  quow,  and 
say :  "But he  who  rob.  me  of  my 
character" robs me  of that which not 
-enriches  him-or  any  ono  besIdes; 
for hhall bo driven SOOll  to  despera 
tIon, and after that the-etc. 

Of.  verIty do I  resemble  the  pea· 
'cock at the period of his  moulting.  I 
am  fain  to  hide myself away in  tho 
dons and caves of the earth, lest  man 
shall look upon my disgrace. 

Oh, Pa!  gnzo ill  pity upon  my dis· 
tress!  Let me not cry  in vain!  Be 
lero! 
holtI  there  is  110  allevIation 
Borrowing is 'played Ollt'; Bteal  ng is 
'no go,' for nIl my fellow-student.~ are 
also my fellow-sufferers. 
Oh,  l rnthcl', dear Ft.thor! 
CQmo dowllwit.h theatampa! 

In other words, Beud  me  Q, small  de~ 
coction of the  'root of  all  evil,'  Rtl d 
save  from  matrimony- for  I  might 
be driven oven  to that for relief-and 
rnin,  besides  everlastingly obliging, 

YOUR  V'ERY DEA.R  SON. 

- - -----

SEIUOUS,  nUT NOT  FA'l'AL ...... Daw: 
-son,  while  out  exhlbltin.:  his  "new 
. rig," the other day,  m et  with  quIte 
a  seriou8  accident-his  colt  running 

. away. 

Rats. 
BY OUR  '7.00LOGCS'l'. 

nata are a  very  indispensable  part 
of the  animals of  every  well  reg ula~ 
ted  habitation. 
'l'hese  creatures  are 
very  useful 
to  every  persoll  who 
OWllS  1\  farm,  or  a  house  and  barn. 
Thoy aro so well adapted for t.ho place 
thoy occupy,that It would be difficult 
to find any ot·her known  creature  to 
fill  their place.  Among ~helr yarious 
uses, we might  name the  following : 
Their frugal  habits  and  disposition; 
r eady '  tq  keep 
they  are  always 
brend from moulding or sO llriu ~, aud 
'fhey  are  ai 
cheese from  spoiling. 
the  farmm'  n 
way~  ready  to  lend 
helping  hand 
in  harvesting  null 
Ithtashing his grnin;  they  have  ,ueen 
'known to make a  bre and  thras h out 
the grain of a farmer wJ\O  wos friend-
1y to them. 
'rhoy  are  also  g l'e!\t  01' 
d~r·lovillg  characters j  t.hey  11 1'0  0 1-
"nys ready to gatqer up Iooso  clothe.!:! 
and papers,  or brr.n.c1stuff.'t  left around 
loose  by  some  ('ore]oss  pel'SOll,  and 
save them  to  appropriate to  a  u.tter 
usc. 

Another  vcry  important  benefit 
that rats are to  housekeepers  is  that 
they will make  holes for  ventilation 
through cellar  walls ot'  hou.r;e :tlodrs, 
ghmary doors,  br  in  fnct  'auy  place 
that cllntains articles bt' valu~.  'l'hey 
thereby save us much  work and wor 
ry  in the cnre of  property. 

'l'here  Is  much  to  admire  ill  t.he 
'cbnrncter of  the  rat.  FH'st,  his  in 
dustrious  habits;  he  will  work  for 
nothIng and find  himself,  and If  you 
aro his friend  he  will  gi vo  you  the 
full benefits of  hl81abor9. 

Second,  his  shrewdness  nnd  wit. 
This haB  been  marked  from  earliest 
time, so  that the proverb,  "As wise 
ali au old rat,"  has  Come  Into  com 
Plon  uso.  He  Is '  never  known  to 
help a IllUUUC  who  wIll permit those 
noxious pests,  t.he dog or  cat,  to run 
at large over  his domains. 

Third,  his  power  of  increrse-he 
will  rear  up  several  largo  families 
-during  a litetime.  He  practices  the 
scriptural  injunction  to  "increase, 
multiply  and  replenish  the  earth." 
It was  formerly  supposed by mnny 
th.t the rat was a  useless and  worth 
less  animal;  persecutions  and  cru 
sades  were  Instituted 
for  the  pur 
pose  of  exterminating  him .  But 
these  have  all  sIgnally  failed. 
'rhe 
rat has come off Irlumshant In  every . 
ease-thUB proving his right to bo the 
sharer of  man's  estate. 
'.Vhe  Hreed 
ing of rat. has been  If uch  negleeted 
in the past, but we  may  confidently 
expeet. many  Improvements  in  thIs 
as  well'  as  in  other  Industrial  pur· 
SUitB • 

The  Future. 

'Vito  is th ere but  t.hinks he would 
like to look beyond tho  pre .. en! hOll l' 
into the mystic  future and  see  what 
lllay be his fate? The man just starting 
in business thinks to  reap the golden' 
coin in the future.  The  young  law· 
yer \Ooks  to  the  future ns  the  time 
when ·all  h'is domands OIL  Fame shall 
be  met  and  promptly  paid. 
'rhe 
scholar, ns  the time wh~n books  and 
perplexIng  problems  shall  cease  to 
vex him;  tho  tirell  mother  oxpect.s 
the future  to oxpand and  make noble 
and pure hearted men  and women  of 
tho little  minds she Is now caring for, 
uud  the  lDan of three  score and ten 
sees just  boyond  him the  rest which 
he has fiJ l<?ng  and vainly sought. 

So do  persons ~f all ages look to the 
future fo.r  beUer  things  than to-(1ay 
otTers;  hut  who  will  finu his  future 
88 he  E'xpeets  it?  'rhe  mnn of busi ~ 
ness knows  not  that  the  one chanco 
in the hundred  ot  reaping the golden 
hnrve,f;Jt  will  be  his. 
'I'he  aspiring 
lawyor  will flud  others of an  equally 
aspiring  mind  to cont·end ·with;  he 
may win t.he  laurel- wreath of fnme, 
but  who but he dare  hope  of his  at 
tainments being crowned wIt,1i  perfect 
success"  The  scholar 'Can  surely  lay 
aside his books with all their trouble 
some problem!:!, but the student of aC 
tivity will  find  more  perplexing pro 
blema in life's journey, than  print  or 
mat.hematical skill  enn iuvent;  hap 
py may he  be  ean he solve  them  to 
hIs satisfaction.  rrhe mother who 80  ' 
fondly  hoped  the  Fut.uro  contaIned 
the  bliss she desired,  will find  many 
hindrances  to  t.he  eOllsummation.of 
her plnnE!.  The  old man who bns  ~q 
long  been  looking  after  rest,  may 
again be dlsllppointed ! 

Alas 1 what do the wisest of human 
beings know as regards  t,heir future? 
Do  thoy  know  any more what  will 
be  their  fato  to-morrow  than  that 
happy bird  who sits Singing  on yon 
der  shrub knows  that  this is his last 
song, as puss who hns been  watching 
him for tho  last few  roonlents, steals 
upon hIm and  anon  has  him  In her 
grasp,  and  hIs  liCe  of song,  of  sun 
Rhine,  or storm  is at its end' forever ? 
Seeing.  then, we  cannot lift  tho vail 
that  covers  the future, shall  we Bit 
waiting  for 
the  glorious  time  we 
wish, or shall we take a  surer way of 
success, and, living active, useful lives 
to-day leave the Future in  the hands 
. of Ono  whose  love and  kindness we 
cannot  doubt,  and  reap,  if time  is 
spared us,  that which  is most  condu-
cive to the happiness of all! 

, 

NFJ1UA. 

IS- Only one more nUD)ber.