Some straight talk on that State News tax hike.~ p. 3 29 November 1989 WHAT'S UP: Warm FRONT roll ing in Forecast good for EL rockers... p. 8 Volume I Number 10 MSU's alternative and truly independent voice @ Scratch Dog Boy... p. 6 ©The Provoc jingles... p. 5 @ Out & about... p. 7 ® Enterfurikintainment... p. 8 X-MAS FROM HELL! Trapped in E.l~.: A uR-1 stocking stuffer watc;hing old Scrooge get his just des serts? Besides, even the most miserly of us can afford the reasonably priced tickets. Call Meadow Brook Theatre at (313)377-3300 .. Arbor Township and check out the Domino's Farms Christmas lights display. This thing is· good enol!lgh to get cars to line up for miles on the On the way home, hop over to Ann See DULLSVILLE, p. 2 jl"om out" family to you ct"ups Season's Greetings: i . ... ~ ~.: ~ ?'\ ·: \J,. ... ' . ,'-// - \ :~ ./'·. ·. . . .,"-,_ ) . • .. :-.-;;-:,: ~ ~ .. '\ ~- ;,_, , . . . . . _.-· v ··µ~ l \· :.._. '"'-!' "t· . ' .... '.¥ ; • 1. - • . • ._ . ' ">s.. ·' / / · . " ' : ._ _ .. ... ,_ .... ..... ~ . . l.i';@p ... . . . ( ~.!.. . . . . { ~~ · Connxtions Comedy Club will be bringing some of the top comedy acts in the country to the area: Malone and Noochez, Steve Decker, John Bow man, and (!)the International Sleight of Hand Champ- ion, Chuck King. Miss 'em-at your own risk. Connxtlons wlll also be host ing a gala New Year's Eve bash, with free champagne and dancing thrown in with the yuks. Call Connxtions at 482- 1467 for more details. For the film buffs among you, the holiday season will bring its perennial dumptruck load of big movies to the silver screen in the next few weeks. As always, the Odeon Theatre has the latest and the greatest in foreign and independent films. It's guaranteed classy cinema, and comes highly rec -om mended. Give 'em a call and see what's showing at 351 -1300. Feeling in a festive holiday mood? Good. There's lots of Yuletide crap to do. For starters, a production of the NutcraCker put on by the Children's Ballet Theatre will be at our very own Wharton CentEir on December 9 and 1 o. If you enjoy this, maybe you'll want to come back for Holidays with the Empire Brass on the 20th. Word has itthat both are excellent programs well worth your consideration. Get details at 355-6686. Now, take a drive to Detroit for a · fun-filledday(hey,noonesaidyouhad to stay in East Lansing .all the time). Make sure you stop at the Detroit Institute of Arts for a special program featuring some of the most sacred icons and frescoes from the Holy Land. It's a great opportunity to get in touch with the spirit of the holiday season. Also, Oakland University is putting on a production of the Charles Dickens classic A Christmas Carol from now until December 31. What could be more in the spirit of Christmas than · ....... by GREG GRIFFIN uR-1 Fun Correspondent Ahhh ... Christmas in East Lansing. Empty streets, empty house5, empty campus, empty bars. And- lucky you!!-you're right in the middle of it all! You can ride the CA I A bus all day and meet all sorts of psychoticfolks! Youcouldrunoffcopies · of your buttocks at Kinko's! You could build anatomically correct snowmen! You could watch TV ALL DAY LONG! Try to contain your excitement, O fortunate one! In the unlikely event that meeting psychotics on the bus doesn't make you long for the end of the term, I took it upon myself to come up with some cool ideas for stuff you can do to enter tain yourself ... all the way to 1990. Let's start with the local scene: Small Planet will be featuring live jazz with the '4.Jse Brothers on Wednesday nights and blues with. Born Naked on Thursdays. Also a great place to go for dinner and drinks. Call Small Planet at 351 - 6230. Don't believe East Lansing is "the City of the Arts 8 ? You're right. That's a load of shit. But Faruk An Gallery is doing its part to broaden the horizons of our fair city. Look for Faruk to host live music featuring local talent on December 9 (with False Add ix ion and Starpower) and 16 (with Electric Rain and Rendering Suns). Also, be sure to catch the poetry reading on the 14th. For more information, call Faruk at 351 -7933. Rick's American Cafe will have much of the same mix of local talent as they usually feature every month. Highlights includea(bop) har vey dat~ on December 23 and the HannibaJsonthe?thandon New Year's Eve. Rick's' number is 351 -2285. . .. 2 • Repqrter-lntelligencer From DULLSVILLE, p. 1 weekends just to drive through it. So treat y,ourself ~ go see it, but try to do it during the week. ........... -, _ 1 _ • 29 November, 1989 By now, you'.ve had so much fun that you're positively dizzy-and it's not even Christmas yet. So here's a sug gestion for the truly adventurous of you to reaj!¥ make this a memorable time in your lite. If you've ever seen the movie It's a Wonderful Life (and if you haven't, for God's sake, see it! see it!) you know that Jimmy Stewart was a great guy because he put so much of himself Into improving the community of Bedford Falls. Andyou'dliketobeanall-around good egg like Jimmy. The good news is that you can do it-by calling the East Lansing Economic Crisis Center at 337-2731 , the City Rescue Mission at 485-0415, or the East Lansing Older Paople'sProgramat337-6489: lfnone of these sound good to you, call any local church. They'd love to give you suggestions. The Important thing is that you get involved and do something to give your community a little bit In return for everything it's given you. Remember how Jimmy Stewart is royally screwed at the end of the movie and all his friends and neighbors come by to bail him out? Isn't this what Christmas Is all about? Volunteera few hours of your time. It's a "kinder, gentler nation", forcryin' out loud. · No matter where you spend your Christmas break, we here at the UR-I wish you and yours a fun-filled, memo rable holiday season. All except for that nasty little kid. Start your day with a relaxing aromatherapy body wrap.using essential oils.helping to detoxify · your body and remineralize your skin. While relaxing, enjoy a European style facial and a foot reflexology massage. Rnish up· with a lymphthic body massage. Then.for the polishing touch, recieve your warm paraffin hand dip manicure.followed by a sh9mpoo and hairdesign. (Makeup application for women.) Men $170.00 value = $155.00 Women $185.00 value = $155.00 A full body massage and a full facial $75.00 ~lue = $65.00 A full body massage and a mini facial $45.00 value = $35.00 TANNING PAcKAGES AVAft'.ABLE (1 Unit = 10 Minutes) 1 O Units=$22.00;20 Units = $38.00. 30 Units = $48.00 A body wrap and facial $105.00 value = $90.00 · A hairdesign, manicure and makeup $44.00 value = $39.95 A hairdesign , manicure and hand dip $36.50 value :;= $29.95 A pedicure and manicure $35.00 value = $27.95 ( No substittutions on pac~ges) For Reservations Call The HOT TUB HOT LINE 332-6318 (located corner of Grove· and Linden near Dooleys) ,--~--------, l $3.00·0FF 4$ copy special (8112 x11) exp.Dec.22 I (Limit l discount per visit) I I I IYout Next Hot Tub Rental I : (Wit_h Coupon) : I I Exp. Nov.30, 1989 L ___________ _J Also Wed. Speciai Two People _$15/hr. Regular Price $20 . . . t I Mondays SHARK WAVE (7 piece brass) Sun. -Mon .. Dec.1 &2 ........... . Deadbeats live from Chicago, featuring double bass. The Landshark is at 101 E. Grand River (comer of Abbot and Grand River} East Lansing Home of the SHARKBOWU . .. ' .. . . It's quite sad, really. Sure, it's only 75¢, but that adds up to more than $30,000 a term. And it's like giving an alcoholic just a sip of booze. Cork your bottle and let the lush get help from the only place he can ,'-Within. This is a paper that was once great and has slid into mediocrity for . the very reasons it comes to us with hand outstretched. Mismanagement. As we have pointed out before, hypocrisy reigns at The State News. Isn't this the paper that castigated the university for raising costs to students? Isn't this the paper asking the students to cough up to cover their rising costs due to fiscal irresponsibil ity and utter stupidity? Isn't this a shame? Yes, a terrible one. And that, suc cinctly, is why we are urging you to vote NO on the tax hike for The State News and force them to practice what they preach. Perhaps this lesson will cause the paper to begin the climb to the heights it once enjoyed. Perhaps ... They are a talented but complacent lot who have been content to take their meaty salaries and service existing accounts without seeking new sources of the funds the paper claims to so desperately need. In this formerly monopoly situation where there is a captive audience and a business . community who depend on the university and its population for survival, we are skeptical ad execs at The State News could not push them selves to rake in a extra revenue. As a paper which lauds itself as "MSU's Independent Voice,· - an Ironic title for an entity that receives more than $250,000 a year from the university through student tax and a greater savings in the office space - afforded it for a pittance on the third ftOor of Student Services - The State News should begin to take pride and work to reduce its dependence on the university and its burden on the students. And now, becausetheyeannot managetheir money properly, this •independent• voice has the gall to ask the students-to reach a little deeper to make up for their lncom pe tence and mismanagement. e e , Just say no! Brother can you spare a dime - - or how 'bout seven and a half of 'em? Pitiful. But that's the game The State News is playing by begging for a 75~ tax increase from students, who will decide the issue at registration. We feel confident calling It a game, because it is certainly not a case of lite and death as ·the paper would have you believe. You want STRAIGHT TALK? OK. The State News talks about reducing news content. At no point do they talk about reducing salaries, which are above those of other college papers . In fact, some college papers do not pay their writers. There are other measures to be considered first, since the reporters at the paper do put in many hours and much effort. Let us proceed. They talk of reducing wire serv ices. This is actually a boon for studentsl Too often The State News fills its newshole with wire copy from United Press International, when important local and campus events go neglected. This robs students of important information about,Pertinent local happenings and even hurts the paper's reporters, who often have their stories butchered to fit a story on Imelda Marcos' shoes or are denied outright an opportunity to have their work published. Further, it is incum bent upon the paper's editors to remember they are a STUDENT newspaper serving MSU. Many students receive superior national and state news from the Detroit dailies or other sources which neglect the MSU scene. There Is the threat of reducing news and sports coverage If the tax hike is denied. This is a red herring; no, Indeed, It Is a red whale. The State News has had such trouble finding reporters and especially sports writers that these sections have been shrink ing for years. Who suffers Is the student forced to read the low-calibre work churned out today. Perhaps the paper should try to improve the morale of its staff, which Is at a five year low. The good news here: Encouragement and improved motale is FREE (that means we don't have to pay for it). But - and here we quake - the comics page may be eliminated I Rememberthat red whale? Yeah, well this is his twin. Comics are sold to the paper by syndicates at a reduced. rate because The State News is a student paper, and these charges take into account ability to pay. Comics are often the one redeeming trait of the paper, and to eliminate them would eliminate readers, and thereby advertisers. A cardinal sin no one would succomb to. Budget costs could limit the paper's service·to us.which we do find somewhat horriftc c:Onsldering the already reduced service we are receiving. the tax hike is unnec- While we encourage students to help out The State News in any way they can - as we encourage aid to all. · publications - ' essary. It would only serve as a crutch for a paper that needs to look at the way It spends the money it currently receives from students. The paper . must evaluate, re-evaluate and look to a more fiscally responsible future. Exam.pies of irresponsible spend ing: •The State News recently spent money to buy a second laser·writer a thousand dollar-plus item - be cause of ignorance in the frqntoffice. Apparently they did not realize that more than their few computers could be tied into their existing laser writer. These Macs have been underused for real newspaper work and overused for computer game playing in the compo sition shop. •Alt.hough the paper's manage ment 5aw fit to reach into what they would have us believe are shallow pockets for a fax machine, there is still lacking a complete encyclopedia set _ and a world atlas that.is not missing pages. These have been absent for years, but no effort has been made to remedy the situation. · •The past and current editor-in chiefs are sent all expenses paid to Pacemaker competition at consider able cost. •Advertising account executives are paid a grossly out of scale with the wage paid to reporters. Two years ago, an account executive bragged that he could make $200 In a week for 1 O hours work. . These are but a few examples. Unfortunately, there are more we don't have space for. . It's time the paper began to push its advertising staff to new heights. ::> > .-. 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You did some half-ass reporting on that one. (What's new?) I've known Mark, (the kid's name you couldn't rememberforthe life of you) and John for quite awhile. I've ne\ler known either to be preju diced like you described. Both share a common friend you is black. One of the guys has a girlfriend of three years who is Native American Indian. Also, it would be pretty tough being on the MSU football team and being preju dice. You portray the guys to be big "bad goons." Thars funny, Mark weighs about 160 lbs. and John around 170. That's the size of most students here at MSU. I hope we're not all goons. Another thing is that they didn't both graduate from Brother . Rice. John graduated from Brother Rice and Mark from Rochester High . School. It seems as though your prejudice against football players. Just because your stuck behind that desk pushing a pencil, doesn't mean you have the right to knock these guys. You didn't even have enough information to spell the kid's name right. I think your just about "blue in the face." Becareful you don't get yourself in trouble for libel. You did a damn good j?b reporting. You know what you are. · Mike Richardson Freshman Seconding that emotion ... . Dear Editors, I am writing In response to David Stearns' article in the November 8th issue, "Cowardly Roommates ..• "He seems to really bash racial (really religlous) prejudices, wven when they're nonexistent. Yet he doesn't even care about his own prejudices towards football players. Do these quotes sound like they are from a supposed non-biggot? - ... "freshman's nightmare: he - was tripled with two football players." .. :my brother weighs just over 100 lbs. and two football players feel it's necessary to threaten him with physical violence~" - ... iwo lunkheads he had for roommates." I sort of think these quotes are intended as prejudices and stere otypes against football players. According to Dave one would think these two boys are 300 lb. · brainless biggots. Nothing could be further from the truth. Mark, memorize that Dave, is a 160 lb. receiver who is very intelligent. John is around 180 lbs. and is also very intelligent. Also, both of these guys have a very good friend who is black, and Mark's girlfriend of three years is a Native American Indian. Anyone who knows these two boys knows they are two of the nicest guys you could meet. I'm sure you'll here that again. Maybe Mark or John could write a column bashing football-player haters, and make up lies about Dave Stearns. But that would be a cause for a case of libel. Anyways Dave Stirn, sorry it thars misspelled, you know what you are. Dennis Bruce Chemical Engineering Freshman . Ha-Ha, Harger! Hey Editor! I read the hilarious tongue-in cheek viewpoint by Art Harger on privatizing MSU. As a longtime East Lansing resident, and one who Is working on.his third MSU degree, I've had plenty of opportunity to observe and think about the half-baked way MSU is run, and at what cost to Its customers (we students). But "con domlnomize" (sic) MSU? What a sense of humor! . First of all, I liked to part about how the State of Michigan .Is so economically ignorant. Sure, we could issue bonds to the state for$1 -$2.5 billion based on Independent apprais als. And then we'll just turn around and spin off portions of the corporation for a whole lot more! Why would. the State of Michigan be such fools? What's to stop them from spinning off divisions of the Big U themselves when they already own the whole · damnthlng? · Second, Art's "market" estimates of the values of the U's individual assets is another great joke. Who in their right mind would pay $1.5 million fora Forrest Akers Golf Club member ship? I can go to Tokyo and join a · middle-level club fort.hat amount. And the land here certainly isn't as scarce as it is in Japan. And $400,ooO per room at Kellogg? The Sultan of Brunei was criticized last year for paying that much per room for a hotel in Beverly Hlllsl You can'.t spin off assets at a price that makes them unprofitable for their new owners. It just doesn't work that way, except perhaps In "Trump: The Game." Third, I thought about the notio.n of a "privatized" MSU and what that would mean to students. Sorry, Art History and English just don't pay their way anymore - "off with their heads!" Yessir, Dr. Trump, we don't need no arts interpretavists or poets nomore. The "new" Spartan U. would turn out those who generate maximum eco nomic benefit - afford the price and those who can create an economic surplus for the "corporation.· So the U would consoli date into the narrowest schools of engineering and business known to man. The hell with Intellectual diver sity! Who needs it? What a sublime sense of humor this man has. i.e., those who can No, as fumbling and fiscally irresponsible as MSU appears to be, the notion of state-owned, state sponsored education serves a vital function in society. Even with tuition increases, public universitites provide opportunity fort he economically 'disadvantaged ,- a hallmark of a humane society. Public universities are state-sponsored efforts to m!!ln tain intellectual and cultural diversity in the society. If MSU fails at these goals (which I believe It has), it needs reformation within the structure. Ranting and raving with wild-eyed privatization schemes in the neo Reaganomic motif reeks of Ayn Rand and objectivism. It's great In a novel, board game or movie. In reality, It reduces great cultural ·institutions (like education) to free market institutions · of exploitation. Lest Art accuse me of being the "L" word, I'll admit it up front: I am 011e. P.S. Mary Jane Sunshine: grow up. Get some substance abuse counseling for those Friday morning hangovers,. and learn to respect bike riders in the street where they belong. x .. - nAs L 'LS'J :FO:Jt ''JKE U:Jt-'L: • ,SEND MORE LE11ERS •SEND MONEY •AC1 NOW! r---------------------------------------, .· ! HKl ~w [K\~ [Q)~ ~ I It's a neat-o reader response card! •.So are we headed in.the right track? : Please let us know, ·send this card to our offices at.142 Gunson St. with any criticisms, com- I ments or suggestions or other things you believe will enhance our ability to serve the _MSU :· community. Remember, this is your paper, too. I I : I · : 1· I I I I I I · I I I I . . I I I I I I I I · I I I L~----~---------------------------------~ . . . . . . . . . . . . . - . . . ~ . . . . . . . . •·!"f Rrh•v99:•••.·••·•••• ......................•......... :.:.;······ ···: • • ~ WUJ.; PRJN.l'~VERV ..... .. . ··········tmERWE.RECEiVei•·•·•··········· ··•th.~r~:iwi11:·b.~:·o.S·rn9i~·f.()r~·•• ·9.t#feyij~P:§fu1y.lij#~~; wW> · · •••<:tr~ :6¢+:•b.~t~:t¢•q¢f ¢i$•••• ... ·.·.·. .•VoQf p(jf.f :µ91$.·•wH~:v94.•• • .•.fuqy~•t¢•~ti¥:$h¢Ul¢1• t)e :•.·•·•·•···•·•.•.•••· .••sP.rn~thi69 •9il.•¢4f .f:~c:ltj~~•·•······ :·•¢.9M:$ije··6n<:i.#~~onq •t:o::••··;··•••· ·•so•tie•:t.orewoiried•++••lf•.••·.·•··•.·•····•• b#M #.~6~ # ,'w~.-J.L#fr~riflf.H • ... ···~~~P:·~~m··¢9m~n9: ... P:9t9f·:· • h$rS.~ w~m P.~:(5$.t~: :>: •· >• : . : . · · 29 November, 1989 Reporter-Intelligencer • 5 Male encounters are normal I felt like many people were looking over my shoulder laughing and pointing, and there was nothing novel about the situation. Sexuality Is circumscribed be cause it is bounded by our human ness. Ever since the first homanld emerged, walking upright out of the jungle several m'illion years ago, sex has been the same and it will never change so long as we remain human. Whatever fears or anxiety you might have are no different from the fears and anxieties held by your progenitors thousands, and even millions of years ago. We are an Insecure species, perhaps because we have knowledge and fear death, or maybe we are just insecure, especially men. Anyway, here Is this guy pouring out his fears and anxieties, thinking he's unique, while I'm thinking: "My God, that's my life - he's living my life all over again." He is telling me that one night this past week, a male friend was visiting his apartment and they had engaged in asexual act. Together ... men ... small circle-jerk ... what if my parents knew ... what If my friends knew ... what if my girlfriend knew .... kind of thing ... you know. · I pointed out that a lot of men likG other men as occassional sexual partners because there are no games, you both know why you are there, you both have sex drives that are through the roof, so let's get to it. In this regard, some gay men report having over5,000sexual contacts (whatever . that is) in a single year. Very few · heterosexuals could achieve this level of sexuality (15 sexual contacts a.,dax) because talking, holding, reassurance (•of course I'll re5pect you in the mom Ing") are all part of the heterosex ual act. Men together are much more physical because our sexual nature& are being pushed to an extreme, which explains 5,00?+ ... :·:f:::· ~I ~-I~~ I:~ ·:: . ..::::::gr:t::·:~::::·f:nY::::•+±.::m:y •:<•:::::::2::.:]2::~@•::: ..•• ~r~·:.•/:::::>x·.::::•• -.··.·.··.·.·.·.·.·.·.· ·.-.·.··.· ··.··.-.·.··.···.···.·.··.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.··.·.·.·.·.·. Confessions _ of a junior Gri_nch ... The This Is It, ephemsral EbenHzers of euphemistic euphoria. (Huh?) Ten wHks later, and you st/// haven't learned. Ph/em phrHzes when you blow a /ooger In December, so this time you really better watch out. You'll find worse than a lump of coal In your stockings, or maybe a wom out, splintered drsldle nsxt to your menorah this year. Have a crappy holiday and a putrid new year. - It makes me feel all warm inside (my diapers) to know that MSU installed those ridiculous holiday decorations on top of .dormitories again.? The real people that deserve to be lam basted are you weak-kneed stu dents! They raise your tuition . every year, and then they build new baSketball arenas and Install chee~eater ornaments that are always blown over and the ad ministration still has you believing that money is being spent wisely. Wise up, bubbleheads. And remember that when you're walling in the pit for that last class you need to graduate but there Is a 300-i:>erson list In front of you. Ho! Ho! Ho! Jingle Bells, DiBi smells He's in t{1e Caribbean. Basking in th-e Exotic sun And hiking tuition again! The Mashing.in East Lansing. .. Football Players vs. The Band . - Got a phone call Monday from a band member crying about the university choosing a bowl so far away .that the poor-little band members will have to toot at home this Christmas Day.· Aw, you're breaking my wittle heart! Listen up, Bozos. Only Blaze "Jeri Curl" Ezer and his Wrecking Crew deserve the trip to the way out west. Blake admited to a reporter after the Wisconsin game that he was grateful to have the university footing the bill to_ Ha waii. Ah, honesty. But guys, why can't the band go? The State News has seen fit to send a reporter and a photogra pher to the game (nice to k.now where our student tax dollars are being spent). Sports Editor Todd Moshier said this trip actually is cheaper than last years trip to Jacksonville for the Gator Bowl, and the Marching Boogers were at that fiesta. I knoYi. I see those cute little bowling-style patches proudly displayed on those gor geous team jackets. I'd like to stay in the festive spirit, so my next topic is teenage masturbation. I can't wait till I turn 13. Don't you hate ... Radio Shack commercials during the Christmas season? If I never see another advertisement with two bratty, pseudo-cutesy Aryan Youths playing with the latest In out-dated electronic toys, it'll only be for the better. Have a stinky holiday! Bah. KING ARTHUR - whetheryou're acting or not, we'll always be the most precious gem in my life. I love you! - Your "real life" Guenevere (a.k.a. Watana Cecelia) rm placing this ad cause r·m feelin' kinda bad and I want the guys to know that I a sexy lad. So Why should it be that a fella like me should be so all alone with no ecstacy? but the homos that I know won't give me no time and their just missin' out on my shape, which is fine · and my very best part, which is my very active mind but . t4e fellas got to know that I ain't no fairy and I don't mix well with minds that are ally I do art well and I can sing like a canary and I like men black or white if they ain't . too scary and I dig good music if it bas a good beat and I want guys to know that my lovin' is sweet so if you wannagetahold of whats under my sheet, Send your response to 1214 Turner Street ~ @@ [Q) o © lk\ [Q) ill] w @[fi) @@l -o ITi) U[h) ®U -©-U[h) ® U3 [p)®[p)®U3 o o o _ \YAYl o ~rm ~rm ®!Ml ~ ® ® IDJ o ©. lk< ® ~llil ©. lk< [p) ® [f ® © [fl) MU® [p) ® ITiJ U@ o o o -DON'T BE A DICK UU1sing,MI48906 VIDEO MESSAGE SERVICE. Out of sight, out of mind. Send your loveon videotape. 15 percent student discount. Video Postcard: 339-0509. SOPIIlSTICATEDSCRIB BLERS! Now accepting submis sions for a new quarterly maga zine. -Send SASE for guidelines to: Way Station, P.O. Box 6250, East Lansing, Mi, 48826. ' NEED BIRTH CONTROL IN- FORMATION? TIMEFOR YOUR YEARLY EXAM? . CONCERNEDABOUTUN PLANNED PREGNANCY OR SEXUALL YTRANSMI'ITED IN FECI10NS? PLANNEDP ARENTHOOD HAS nIB ANSWERS. CALL 482- 1500. NEED YOUR COPIES done fut and cheap? Go to Budget Printing. See our advertisement elsewhere in theuR-I. CHOW DOWN at the Crossroads Cafeteria. We 're located in the International Center. See our ad in theuR-1. . SEE S1UDENT ART displayed now at Farulc Art Gallery, in the Campus Town Mall. Also avail able areT-shirts, incense and a variety of literature. -See our ad in theuR-L YEAM, UMM ... WE WE~E .JUST MAVING A LITTLE P'ARTY ... DONNAI GET TMIS MAN A &>RINI(/ .--......:N"WI IT'STHEEASTLANSING . renaissance at Renaissance Hair, for all of your hairstyling needs. See our ad in the uR-I. COPIES, COPIES and more copies. Ify~u want 'em, Paper Image has them. 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See our delicious specials in our ad elsewhere in the uR-I. l 2:.6 ABBOT ROAD NEAJl BEGCAJt-5 ~UNTIL ~GDMGHT .· OU Latjo OUaner Nov. 22: Red Hot Chili Peppers Royal Oak 11/kJsic Theater . Dec. 7: Richard Lewis. . Dec: 8: Branford Marsalis. .. Dec .. 9: Psychedelic Furs. Dec. 16-18: The The . . $1. Andrew's Hall Dec. 2: Del Fuegos Dec.9:GLH Dec. 12: Terrence Trent D'Arby BoarsHeacUbeater Nov. 22 - Dec. 1 o: Lion In Winter, Center For The Arts. a p.m. Call 484-7805. Nov. 29: Macbeth (a staged reading). 484-7805. Classic Films Call 355-0241 for locations and info. The Green poor . November schedule: (all shows begin at 9:30 p.m.) Mondays: Blue Avenue Delegates. $2. Tuesdays: Capital City Band. No admission Wed.-Sat.:Toys. Noadmission. Sundays: Uptown Band. No admission. The Landshadc Dec. 1-2: The Deadbeats. Dec. 5: 1-tal Dec. 6: Pau the Siren Dec. 7: The Hannibals Dec. 8: The Deans Dec. 9: Lonnie Brooks . . ,. . Whanon Center-ca/1355-6686 for any information Nov~ 28: MSU Glee Club, Collegiate & Chamber Choirs. . BllndPig .. Nov. 30: Iodine Raincoat Dec. 1 : The Difference Dec. 2: Judy and the Dreams Dec. 4: M-16 Dec. 6: Sugar Minott Blondie's Dec. 12: Nuclear Assault • MSU Fairchild Tbtatar Nov. 30: Just Kidding presents their national tour, 'Where's My Thermos.• 7 p.m. Call 353-5255. C.J. Barr,ymore's Nov. 29: Mark Farner · Bick'sAmericanCate Nov. 29: Reggae Connection Nov. 30: Born Naked Dec. 1 : Joe Carasco Dec. 2: Going Public · Dec. 3:Jerry Sprague Dec. 4: Phidius Gadge I Fox Theatre Nov. 29: Jean Luc Ponty. Dec. 7-1 o: David Copperfield cafeteria . atthe international center ·Good, reasonably priced food with that little extra care/." Right On Campus Also features Incense and body ollls. HAIR A MESS? ; Let us help you out-Come to GARY'S CAMPUS , HAIR SALON $9.00 u.-U-scx hair styling "A Cut Above Yet Priced Below" 3S 1-6511 549 E. 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COUPON SPECIAL COUPON SPECIAL Burton & Jacqueline Parsons OWNERS ******** COOLIDGE COURT 2200Coolidge Rd., Suite 11 East Lansing,Michigan 48823 Ph. 337-4035 FAX (517) 337-7128 ******** r chriStm"as sp'e'cTal- , I . 1 1 Oo/o o~ I I Any Service 1 1 L -~Ul Itih'>~.21JP.Q.n_ - .J E·ntertai n ment Putting up a good front are, who else?, The Front uR-1 photo/DAN FRIEDMAN last y·ears Spring Concert . More recently they opened up for East Lansing's ex-resident rastamen (bop) harvey.along with funk, reggae, zydeco mishmash Third Estate at the Auditorium last Monday, Nov. 20. The band had a fair showing at the Auditorium. Their approxi mately 45-minute set consisted · of songs from their first EP, and several new songs. Unfortu nately, the crowd seemed rather un-enthusiastic. This probably can be attributed to the vastly different styles of music between rock/metal The Front and that of headliner bop (harvey). The band's show was spirited with each song. Their· poor stage presence between songs often left the crowd, after applause, in near silence. The band's tunes were true to the de scription, "straight forward rock and roll." Each song was heavy on guitar with a strong drum beat and power bass lines. Although the band per formed well, an opening slot for bop (harvey) was inappropriate due to the difference in musical styles. It would be much more exciting to see The Front at a time with both the band and the crowd can equally enjoy one another. actions, and the final return of the ring help Carla emerge as a woman of compassion and wisdom. Bellow is clear and sharp, pointing out striking details in his descriptions of the characters and the surround ings . There is also a touch of good mannered humor, as Bellow pokes fun at New York City's style and pace of life . Bellow is at his best, though, when stirring our emotions. Nowhere is this more evident than in the last scene, and in particular, the final paragraph. Carla learns the details of the ring's return and how Lucy was involved. The fact that Lucy, in whom Carla sees a lot of herself, was given "something significant to do, and she. was equal to it," overwhelms Carla. She realizes the significance and maturity in Lucy's actions, and the important role Gina, whose morals and goals Carla had begun toques tion; played in them.An enlightened and compassionate Carla is left walking down the street, tears pro fusely running down her face. A Theft is a sensitive, touching story that will, no doubt, move its readers. Up Front and rockin' by DAN FRIEDMAN uR-1 Music Corre~pondent Basic guitar riffs an<;l drum beats. Local band The Front is really nothing new. But they feel that they have The difference may not be the something different to offer. · musicianship. But guitarist and backing vocalist Scott Owens said, 'We play straight forward rock and roll." ·This, the band's members agreed, is the big difference between The Front and many other local bands. Formed only two years ago in December 1987, The Front is one of the younger bands in the area. · Despite their young age, they said they-believe that they can easily . compete with the niore experienced bands. They also point out that those bands who are still playing in the East Lansing area after five or more years may need to reconsider what they're doing. Proof that The Front can compete lies with a successful EP, What's My Line, which has produced two singles, "One For You, Two For Me" and "Look · Away." Each song receives frequent airplay on WDBM. The band is looking forward to entering the studio again in the very near future to produce their secondEP. Comprised of former MSU stu dents Owens, drummer Ron Well man, bassist Blair Darling and lead vocalist/guitaristTom Taylor, Th.e Front adds more than just an EP to their list of credits. The band played at Don't let the name fool you, A Theft is more A JHf fl r'-f~XF' ~ : --~--:- - by AARON HALL uR-1 Literature Critic Saul Bellow's fourteenth book, A Theft, may, as a result of its title, cause you to think it is a mystery . story. However, this story is about much more than a crime or mystery. It is a story about the transcendence and enlightenment of a woman to a higher state of love, com passion and insight. S \ II I I I A A U l Bf l l OW A Theft Saul Bellow 109 pages Penguin Books A Theft revolves around Carla Velde, lthiel Regler, Gina Wegman and Lucy Velda. Carla is a wealth, good looking women's fashion execu tive. Born and raised an Indiana farm girl, she now lives in ~ast paced New York City. She has had a number of problems in life and they are well documented. She's on her fourth marriage, has attempted suicide twice and frequently visits a psychiatrist. lthiel is a Washington political advisor. He and Carla once had an intimate relationship: lthiel even went as far as to purchase Carla a valuable · engagement ring. Soon after, how ever, the relationship ended, though they still love each other. Twenty years and a combined seven mar riages later, they still confide in each other, and see each oth·er often. Carla is emotionally attached to the engage ment ring and has kept it, as it has a special sentimental value to her. ·Gina is a young Austrian girl who Carla hires as a maid and babysitter. Carla, who has three children, is especially fond of Gina because she gets along very well with the children . . Although she plays a minor role throughout the story, Carla's daughter Lucy is an important figure in the end. Lucy is a "stout little girl needing help." She often is ridiculed and em barrased by other children. Gina develops a special relationship with. Lucy, and in the ef)d it is these two who help · trans form Carla. When Carla's precious ring is stolen, she suspects it was taken by Frederic, Gina's French, somewhat sleazy boyfriend. The subsequent