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31  October 1990 

Klux Fllnstones, and the Manson 
Surfers. 

"But If you really wanna get 'em, 
you can forget the Dead Kennedy's,  · 
thars already been done," said 
.Biafra.  "Put Bennett on the front 
cover and call It Lest We Forget, 
and then hit 'em with the band name 
- Lest We Forget by Six Mllllon 
Jaws. 

Flnal Words 

. 

. "Look a little bit more into what 

can be recycled in the area." 
·  When asked about violent 
revolutions, he said "I do think there 
Is a place for pranks.  Liquid steel Is 
useful.  Overthrowing the rich Is not· 
just in our best Interest, 1rs a lot of 
fun."  · 

But he said It best when he said 

"I want to  use my position as an 
artist/performer to be a journalist 
and let people know what's going 
on.· 

, 

And Jello Blafra has been doing 

just that since many of us were in 
junior high school and grade school. 

· Band Names Vol. II 

"Come up with a name for my 
band," said Biatra: "lrs ttie same 
old cliche with the same old for 
mula;" 

Blafra has been wandering 
.  around with his list of band names 
for years, but they'll always be just 
as useful to anyone starting a new 
band. 

He says the latest craze Is the 
Youth bands e.g.  Youth of Today. 
"The first step Is to start with a 

good concept  Heavy metal band  · 
-Mondale. 

"On the good end-is Stryper 
passing out Bibles at £Nery_  show, 
and on the other end Is Slayer and 
10,000 other bands that 5ound just 
like Slayer." 

. 
Then he broke loose and 
spewed forth some of the most 
raucous band names ever heard: 

Earth Fart, Pork Barrel, Anchovy 

Smegma, Black Lung, Atomic 
Utopia, Shut Up and Buy, Chocolate 
Foetus, The Lone Derangers, The 
. ·Janitors of Anarchy, Al  Sharpton's 
Hair, John Wayne on Acid,  the Ku 

2  • university Reporter-Intelligencer 
from Jello 

more." 

. They also have a blacklist of 

arti~ts and musicians which is 
literally just that  These people are 
very racist 

,, 

He went on to give some of the  . 

details In Tipper Gore's book, 
Raising PG Kids In an X-Ratacf 
World. 

"There's a  how-to guide on 

lynching record stores and radio 
stations," ~Id Biafra. 

They get two or three people to 

call the owner of a mall with a 
record store that Is selling the 
records they want banned.  Then 
they threaten to picket every store in 
the mall unless the owner tells the 
record  store to  take the allegedly 
offensive records off the shelves or 
get evicted. 

This gives the owner the idea 
that they have a lot more people 
than they actually do. 
·  Biafra also has some Ideas on 
how to · prevent these records fro.m 
being taken off the shelves and/or 
these record stores from being 

' closed down. 

"When they closed down the 

record  stores," said Biafra, "the 
record companies should have sent 
bands in to  speak up for freedom of 
spee~h." . 

. 

·  .  So the record companies aren't 

really interested In standing up 
against censorship, if anything 
they're helping it along. 

"When the record company says 

to the artist 'Either you write stuff 
that's less controversial or we'll· drop 
you,' that's censorship," said Biafra. 

He told th~ audience to go into 

the cool record stores and leave 
their phon~ numbers with the 
owners In case something like this 
ever happens.  He said not to wait 
until the PMRC is already picketing 
or a record ha$ already been taken 
off the shelves, because then it's 
· too late. 

Biafra then went into the details 

of his own experience with censor 
ship and going into court  He 
presented it in a humorous way. 
But somehow; it just really wasn't all 
that funny. 

Actually, it was kind of scary. 

Ttia Persian Gulf Confllct 

"How many of you are old 

enough to  be drafted?" 

When a significant number of 
people raised ·their hands he asked, 
"Are you prepared to die for oil?  · 

- "Bum your draft card. · Burn the 
flag . . And bum the Pentagon too." 
.  We don't even need· to  be 
involved In this conflict over oil 
according to Biafra.  He says there's 
probably a patent on a solar pow-

· ered car that was bought by 
Chrysler or some other company, 
an  now it's just sitting in an office 
somewhere making sure that the 
owners of the car companies and 
the oil companies can still make lots 
of money. 

The U.S.  Is a one party state 
disguised as a two party state, he 
told the audience.  There are large 
businesses that are supporting both 
Democratic and  Republican cam 
paigns. 

Then he brought up an anec 
dote about a Russian talking to an 
American.  The Russian told the 
American, "You know what the 
difference is between the U.S. and 
Rus~ia? You think you're free and 
we know we're not" 

Elect Ions 

Biafra also went into details on 

the election process and told the 
audience about his experience 
. 
running for mayor in San  Francisco~ 

"Even running as a prank 
candidate,  I was offered deals [to 
bow out of the ·etection]," said 

·  Biafra. 

Biafra was boycotting his right to 

vote for several years when some 
one told him that if nothing else he 
should be voting on the local Initia 
tives~  That's what he told the 
audience too. 

He said ballot initiatives should 

be available nationally, p01ice 
officers should be ·voted on, and 
there should be a none of the above 
category like in· Russia. 

. 

"If nobody gets a majority vote, 
· 

there's another election," said. 
Biafra.· 

He said there wouldn't be 
anyone in any of the offices but If 
nothing else the campaigns wouldn't 
remind him so much of pro wres 
tling. 

On Hamp 

Biafra continued by giving the 
audience a brief hemp history.  In 
the 1760's you could be put In jail 
for not growing pot  Hemp was first 
made illegal in 1937 after the  . 
invention of a hemp pressing 
machine which would have levelled 
Hearst Paper Company. 

. Funny how things hap?en when 

big business tycoons get potential 
competition. 

Biafra said he advocates the 
use of hemp for paper and  clothes 
because one acre of hemp can 
~ 
make four times as much paper as 
trees.  You also have to wait 70 
years for more trees; you can grow 
more hemp in four months. 
· 
Biafra's recommended reading 

on the subject: The Emperor 
Wears No Clothes. 

~--~-~~~~-------~----- --

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. 

the university Reporter-Intelligencer 

Page .Three 

The Second Front Page 

hie 

• 
IS 

itc 

Bv STACY  LAMMERS AND. 
TIM SILVERTHORN 
u-RI ETHEREAL  CoRRESPONDENTS 

and Present .. by  Doreen Valiente, 
says wicca began in  the paleolithic 
ag&-about 12,000 B.C., .and was 
founded to celebrate the goddess 
of fertility and the god of hunting. 
denounce the practice of witchcraft  Cave paintings tell  stories of such 
as dangerous- what with Geraldo  worship, the book says.  -
Rivera thrusting chicken entrails 
before America on lV and all. 

In  this day and age, it's easy to 

Day, the Yule and, of course, 

Wicca holidays include May 

Some  might say we need a War  Halloween. .  -

on  Satan to clean up these pagans. 
Maybe so. 

That is, assuming that Wicca -

the  religion of witches, really is 
satanistic. 

About three quarters of the 
books at the MSU library identify 
witchery as satanistic. 

On May Day, Wiccas tradition-
ally dance around a Maypole and 
wind strands of cloth around it.  In 
early.times,  Probert said, the 
winding was to channel  the energy 
of the universe into the earth for 
fertility. Orgies were also typieal  of 
May Day celebrations, she said. 

However, some books - and a ..  .  . · Another Wicca festival  cel-

witch in Grand Rapids, said early 
. Christians IClbelled Wicca as evil, 
and Jinks  to satanism are unjusti-
\\ed. 

ebrated until the late·1600s was the · 
Horn  Fair. Celebrated differently in 
various places,  the  Fair invariably 
involved flagellation of some sort, 
"I don't want to see anyone into ---. and-was banned for that reason. 
In  Rome, men called  Luperci 

it would  make them fertile or 
procure them easy delivery. 

In addition to rooting the term 
"horny," the festival  gave rise to a 
proverb, "All's fairat Horn  Fair." 

ABC says it's ironic that, " while 

strict moralists have no objection, 
indeed are all  in favor, of flagella 
tion being used for penance and 

· punishment; to inflict pain and 

suffering; nevertheless, the idea of 
this very ancient folk-rite being 
used in  a magical way,  not to inflict 
pain but as part of a fertility ritual, 
for some reason upsets them very 
much." 

Probert said that every wicca 

new year- Halloween, a new god 
is  born, while the previous :year's 
god is sacraficed in the harvest 
festival. This god is called the the 
Horn God, and early Christians 
labelled this horned gad as Satan 
and per.secuted Wiccas on. this .  .  _ 

·  basis, she said. 

satan worship, and satanism is at 
variance with everyone [witches]  I 
know," said Lorrie ._Probert, the 
head witch at a coven  in  Grand 
Rapids. 

· The ABC of Witchcraft Past 

would strip naked and run  through 
_. the streets, striking women with 
straps of leather. Women willingly 
recieved strokes on the palms of  . 
their hands because they believed  . 

"They wanted sacred knowl 
edge to only be the property of 
priests-," Probert said. 

Witches were typically burned, 

and about 3,000 executions took 
place in Southern Germany in  1696 
alone. Estimates of all witches 
-executed vary from several thou 
sand  to 9 million, but all agree that 
most witches were killed by de 
.crees of the Catholic Inquisition. 

The Malleus Mallficarum, 
published in  1489, provided proCe 
dures for courts to try witches 
under the Inquisition. 

Defendants weren't alle>Wed to 

know their accusers-for fear of 
further witchcraft upon aceusers, 
and "Notorious evildoers, criminals, 
servants and fellow witches, and 
perjurer~ may give evidence for the  · 
prosecution, but not for the de 
fense," the book says. 

A confession was necessary to 

convict witches, so torture was 
used and witches were promised 
their lives if they confessed. 

"The promise to spare her life 
should be kept for a time, but after 
a certain  period she should be 
bu med," it says. 

Malificarum gives eyewitness 
accounts of witches putting thorns, 

bones and bits of wood into 
peoples' entrails just by touching 
them. 

The book was translated in 
1927 by Montague Summers, who 
lauded the book as  parallel to 
today's struggle between the good 
and the profane. 

Summers sai.d every folk 
custom, song or country dance 
masks something devtish and 
obscene. 

Probert said that there are 
some witches who practice black 
magic, but there is a belief among 
_!!lOSt Witches that evil deeds never 
go unpaid. 

"Wicca is a very ancient religion 
that deals with the universal power 
of God in a more feminine aspect," 
Probert said. "Witches were the 
villagewis~omen, and mostly 
practiced herbal medicine.~ 

Probert said that she doesn't 

use herbs daily, but she can make 
herbal medicines to help with 
sleep, relaxation or a cold. 
·  Ginseng can be used as an 
aphrodisiac, an  upper, or to relieve 
nasea and vomiting, she said. Also, 
jasmine, saffron, English walnut, 
saw palmetto and savory are good 
aphrodisiacs, and camomile will 
relax you, she said. 

"I draw energy from both the 
earth and the universe overhead," 
Probert said, " then hold the herbs · 
in  hand and release the energy 
with what I want the  herbs to do in 
mind." 

This energy helps medicines 
work better, she said, and can be 
focused purely on the self for 
healing as well. 

The feeling of the energy is 
hard to describe,  Probert said,  but 
she breaks out in a sweat and her 
face bjushes during the ceremony. 
Probert said the classic concep 
.  tion of a nasty old woman muttering 
spells over a caldron-and out to 
get everybody, is false. 

"It would be nice if people 
heard "Witch" or "Witchcraft" and 
didn't have a negative image 
associated with it," she said. 

Hollow Weenie 

are laughing like hell.  Write me a  letter, all 
you witches, and have a Happy All Hallows 
Eve. 

Dr. Andrew 
Barclay 

llllllllll"lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll 

It is very interesting that Halloween 
comes at the end of the harvest season and, 
of course, because of all the merchandising 
in the stores, we really don't get much of a 
chance to figure out what or why the holiday 
is all about.  We think of ghosts or gobfins, 
getting dressed up in weird costumes, and 
going from door to door looking for candy or 
treats and, if we don't get the treat, it is time 
for a TRICK, if you get my  drift.  Hey, in  Dr. 
Sex's world, tricks are good things to do, but, 
of course, in the straight world, tricking is not 
such a great idea.  So since this IS my 
Halloween column, I decided to run two 
letters which  I had been saving for just such 
an occasion, one about dressing up, and the 
other about the difference between  real  trick 
ortreating. 

Dear Dr.  Barclay, 
I know you are a  real doctor and not just 

, 

a mad creation of this silly newspaper so I 
have a  real question for you.  My  husband 
often wants me to dress up in some strange 
clothing  he obtained through a catalog.  He 
has a couple of wigs (which he wants me to 
wear at different times) and some crotchless 
panties,  mesh stockings with seams that run 
up the back of your leg,  and these silly push 
up bras.  He says it would  be a real turn-on if 
I would wear them but I keep asking: A turn 
on  for who?  I wouldn't be very tu med on and 
I have not been willing to do it especially 
since I feel it is more like  he doesn't like the 
Wctf  I am normally and wants me to be 
someone else.  That doesn't seem honest or 
real to me.  We have had a couple of "spats" 
(not real fights,  if you  get my  drift) about this 
and I don't understand why this is so 
important to him.  Any ideas? 

Elizabeth 

Dear Elizabeth: 
In  the first place, the correct question is, 

"A tum-on for whom?'  Does that help you· 
any?  Oh, I see what the problem is, you 
don't understand what perverts men are at 
heart.  John Money (the great sexologist from 

. the 

Man, I sure am tired.  I was up way 

·past my bedtime last night putting 
bologna on my neighbors cars.  I can't 
wait to see them come home.from work 
In their polka dotted cars.  Not that they 
would notice on a woody station wagon. 

Johns Hopkins University) used to Seto/  that 

.,  meri were really  lucky if they were homo 

sexual because if it weren't men, it was just 
as fikely to be CHICKENS!  What he was 
describing is that men have strange attach 
ments which we come b8 early in our 
developmental career and once we have 
been attached, it_is difficult to break awctt 
from them and it is also difficult to have a 
complete sexual turn-on without them. 

You are describing a mild form of a 
fetish in which a  man attaches sexual arousal 
to an inanimate object and needs this object 
to get really turned on.  I am sure you have 
all heard stories about men who have ·shoe 
fetishes (they often work in ladies' shoe 
stores, bv the Wct>J)  and car:i't get turned on 
unless their lover dons a pair of black, high 
heel pu~ and waks on their back.  Just 
that your lucky stars that your husband isn't 
this kind of guy because then there's 
REALLY nothing in it for you unless you get 
off stomping around on a guy's back with 
your shoes on, and  most women don't.  That 
is why these men often have to engage the 
services of a pr:ostitute in order to get off. 
That is also the reason  I encourage you to at 
least try what he wants once before you 
. reject it completely -
if you refuse him, 
where do you think he will go next?  I mean, 
you know how men are.  Do you think it will 
stop tight here? 

His attachment to these objects or even 
the idea of these objects really  has very little 
to do with you.  It is something that happened 
to him as a child,  long before you became a 
part of his fife.  He trusts you and is willing to 
share this aspect of himself with you.  I think 
the trust aspect is really what is critical here 
and it is better to focus on  how much he 
loves and trusts you (to even bring the idea 
up, as it wera) than to focus on how it doesn't 
appeal to you. 

. 

Very often, when  someone does put on 

whatever their partner wants them to wear, 
his excitement may be so great that it infects 
them and they find themselves doing or 
sctting things they might not if they were in 
their actual self,  not all dressed up as 
someone else.  In other words, it can be 
liberating for both partners and  not a problem 
unless it becomes compulsive for him and  he 
can  no  longer halie sexual arousal without 
you being dressed up. 

Then you would  have a problem but 
now, all you have is an opportunity.  Besides, 
maybe if you do this for him, you can get him 
to do something for you  fike  a candle-light 
dinner or foreplay.  Good luck. 

Dear Dr. Sex, 
I had the strangest thing happen to me 

about a week ago.  I am a college senior and 

I was at a bar (which I do not want to name 
for reasons which will become obvious) 
having a conversatioo with a man I had met 
there several times.  We have sort of gotten 
to know each other over this term and we 
were talking about one of my  problems for a 
change.  I neec:ted some money to co111>lete 
my  term and I work but my car had broken 
down, I really don't want to tell you all my 
troubles, etc. all over again. 

But the upshot (rt you get my  drift -
God, I'm starting to even write like you) was 
we went home to my  place together and we 
had a very good time.  It was a  really nice 
evening for us both but wh_en  he left, he 
paused at the door and took the money I 
needed out of his pocket and gave it to  me 
just like that.  He kissed  me and said he 
·  really liked me and left.  I was~ shocked, I 
didn't know  what to do or what to say.  I feel 
so weird,  like I'm a whore or something. 
What should I have said? 

· 

Linda 

Dear Linda, 
How about "Thank you?"  Probably Miss 

Manners or Ann Landers would have 
sometli ng  different to S8!f  but I believe 
women who are not married to the guys they 
are having sex with should always ask for 
money.  I try to teach this to my dass in love 
and maturity but most of the women feel just 
as you do ... wouldn't that make me a whore? 
Shoot.  how else can you find out how m..ich 
they like you? ' Guys always S8!f,  i  love you,· 
but the real question is:  •How much?"  I get 
the impression t~e amount he gave you was 
more than $50 and less than $250 which 
seems fike a  really nice thing for lim to have 
done.  I think he really likes you and is willing 
to put his money where his mouth is,  if you 
know what I mean. 

As long as he doesn't come back and 
tell you you owe him something for what he 
did for you, I think you are really one lucky 
person.  Somehow, I am willing to bet you 
are really attractive and have a nice person 
ality too.  Some people haw all the luck. 

Best regards from your 
Uncle Dr. Sex 

. The real holiday we are celebrating is All 

Hallows Day which is a great day for the 
witches among us.  All Hallows Eve (or 
Halloween) is supposedly the night that 
ghosts or witches come out to  run around for 
their special day the next day.  Straight 
people especially born-again types,  have a 
real hard-on going about the holiday because 
of the witch-like overtones so they won't let 
their kids go out and have special God 
celebrations just to counteract the evil.  Tak 
about superstitious ... I'm sure the witches 

Gimme some Candy,  ~an 

I'm dressing up as Pete Rose tonight, 
and after I get my candy at each house, I'm 
gonna do a little batting practice on their 
jack-o-lanterns.  And when I'm done with 
that,  I'm gonna hide in the bushes and jump 
the other kids and take their candy. 

The only thing that's.worse than a 

bunch of us kids scammin' for loot on 
Halloween,  is you drunk shitheads wander 
ing the streets the weekend before in those 
stoopid costumes.  You don't even get any 
candy, you  nimrods. 

And was that just a bunch of bufugly 

girls walkin' around last weekend or did all 
the closet transvestites decide to go out in . 
their preferred garb(age)? 

Guess everybody already picked up 
their copies of The Rocky Horror. Picture 
Show and watched it a few too many times. 
Lulu looks better. 

candy and point stuff out and say •Hey, I 
didn't get any of those.  can I have a bite of 
yours: even if I do have three or four.  When 
she says OK, I take a bit~ and make sure I 
slobber all over the rest of it.  She always 
gets grossed out and doesn't want the rest _ 
of it. 

The other kids on .my block come up 

with  such  lame-ass tricks though.  They 
throw road-kills in the mailboxes.  I like to 
chuck ·em in the yard next door and watch 
the dog run to the end of his chain and 
choke himself.  He makes the coolest 
gagging noises when I do that -
kinda like  . 
the garbage disposal when I drop my sister's 
hamsters in it. 

I'm outta here, and you doods better 
hope I don't come to your door looking for 
some goods, ·cuz I know lots of other tricks 
too.  Besides, I'm goin· out packed with a 

Tricks are always cool when you get the 

· carton of grade A  extra-super big  eggs. 

treats.  I always look through my sister's 

5  • univers1  y 

. 

. 

r 

1 Octo. ber 1990 

31  October 1990 

university Reporter-Intelligencer • 6 

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s·hroomin' and Groovin' 

Reviews · 

February).  Until then watch 
local and Detroit clubs for future 
trips. 

BY  JEFF FIKE 
uR-1  MUSIC  CORRESPONDENT 

With the three chord noise 

., of the Stooges,· the weirdness 
of the Pixies, a freshly aggres 
sive attitude,and an original 
sound,  MUSHROOMHEAD hit · 
East Lansing on Saturday  · 
September 20,  1990. 

They didn't play Rick's, The 
Dollar, or even a frat party (God 
forbid!).  Better,  as tradition 
would dictate, and as all  the 
great bands before have, they 
played at a house.  The place 
on Collingwood was attended 
by well  over  200,  and the 
basement(where the band set 
up) was constantly packed. 

' 

. 

Some of their songs includ~d 
"Skin"  "The City"  "Gillespie" 
' 
"Casey and Finnigan"(yes, 
named after the two puppets on 
children's T.V.-Mr.  Dressup or 
the Polkadotdoor, I think), ahd 
the band's personal favorite 
''.Barbs of Your Freedom". 

"The City", begins with.a 
thumping bassline(courtesy of 
bassist John Hobbs and drum 
mer Jim Ward) and gritty vocals 
before turning into a sort of(if 
slightly acidified) thrash song, 
· where Giles exorted the crowd 
to "start jumping around, and 
shove the dude next to you!". 
The crowd obliged, and  for a 
few minutes, the basement was 
turned into a tiny pit. 

~"I. SIC  JO !IJff AJfY  11MF or tlA T' 

realuring  rine  Cappuccino 
Exccllcnl  ~ervice and 
Enjoyable surroundings! 

Vocalist Dave Giles said this 

Guitarist Dave Rickfelder 

was one of the best gigs the. · 
band  has played yet.  And to 
give the reader an accurate 
idea of the band's scope-they 
will be playing at seminal under 
ground-hardcore- punk club 
. 
Blondie's in  Detroit on  Hallow 
een.  Other bands to grace the 
Blondie's.stage have included: 
Slayer, Poison, Necros, Dag 
Nasty, Agent Orange, All, 
Seduce, and countless other 
illluminaries of the alternative 
harsh  rock scene. 

The only cover they played 
in their two  40 min. sets was a 
fitting ·one,"Gauge Away", · 
originally done by the Pixies. 

kept the  crowd begging for 
more all night,  but n~ver played 
. the "solo" that they kept egging 
him on  for.  The licks were light 
and airy when needed, 'and full 
of power .at other times.  Solos 
weren't neeped pastwhat was 
already written  into the un:. 
glammish songs.·  Feedback, 
harmonics, and a good melodic · . 
. ear does alot-more (for me 
anyways)  than  "the fastest 
fingers on earth". 
· Lookfor  · 

MUSHROOMHEAD to come 
out with a tape and CD some 
time in the very near future 
(perhaps around January or 

THE CLYDESDALE. 

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Whenever Halloween rears its · 

· blood-soaked head, people for some 
reason feel the urge to rent horror 
films on videotape.  Movie critics also 
get caught up in the Halloween spirit 
by compiling .lists of "the scariest films 
ever made: 

Unfortunately, these lists always 
seem to include the obvious choices 
of cinematic pablum like Friday the 
13th, Nightmare on Elm Street 4  or 
Halloween 5.  I however, have taken 
the liberty of recommending some 
alternative choices for frightful viewing 
on  Halloween. 

David Cronenberg 

This Master of Splatter hails from 

the Great White North and elevates 
the Horror genre to new.heights. 
Even though he has coined the 
phrase "More Blood!" on the set, most 
scenes from  his films are unsettling 
even when there is no bloodletting. 

The Brood - B movie queen 

Samantha Eggar stars as a women 
,-· under therapy at an experimental · 
psychiatric institution.  Under the 
guidance of her doctor (played by 
.  Oliver Reed) she learns to physically 

manifest her rage into gruesome killer  · 
qwarf zombies (the brood) who carry 
out h~r bidding.  Cronenberg creates · _ 
disturbing mood throughout the film.  · · 

. The scenes involving the brood are . 

• I  

31  October 1990 

university Reporter-Intelligencer • 7 

Rev.iews 
Dismemberment, Gore and More 

quite chilling.  While this isni  . 
Cronenberg's best film,  it is genuinely 
scary and a change of pace from the 
typical Friday the 13th-like flotsam 
Hollywood churns out. 

· 

Recommended Cronenber.g films: 

Videodrome, The Dead Zone, 
Scanners 

Sam Raimi 

Argento's films are not about cute 
aliens nor whip toting archaeologists. 
Actually, It is often hard_ to tell what his 
films are about (maybe something is 
lost in the translation).  Maybe It isni 
even important.  Argento's films are 
aboUt 80% style and 20% plot.  But 
who cares, his films are a visual treat. 
The way a choreographer treats a 
dance seen~ is the way Argento treats 
a murder on screen. 

Living Dead 

Brian DePalma 

When it comes to film-making, 
DePalma attended the •It's a homage, 
riot a rlp-ofr school of film-making.  In 
a stylistic way DePalma comes closer 
to Alfred Hitchcock than· anyone. 
However, he does It so well It has 
evolved into his own style. 

This MSU alumnus is one of the 

Suspiria- The film's shoestring 

Sisters - DePalma borrow$ from 

freshest voices in cinema to come 
· around in a long time.  With only a few 
films under his belt Raimi has 
achieved what most other horror film 
makers fail  at.  He has managed to 
blend · head-bursting, eye-popping 
splatter and slapstick comedy into a 
winning combination. 

Evil Dead II - Those expecting a 

of a plot features Jessica Harper as 
dance Student attending an elite 
dance school that just happens to be 
a witches' ooven.  Needless to say, it 
isni long before Argento begins his 
surreal onslaught of blood soaked  · 
mayhem.  Argento's use of colors,  · 
set$ and music enhance the mood of 
this suspenseful and eerie film . . This 
film was originally released in 1976 
and was cut to receive an R rating . . 

straight hor1or story or a continuation 
of the first Evil Dead are looking in the . · Suspiria is a bit slow at times but is a 
wrong place.  Evil Dead II  is more like 
unique cinematic experience.  Today 
it's available in an uncut letter-boxed 
a remake of Evil Dead than a conven-
tional sequel.  .1n a nutshell the plot 
version on videotape . . 
· 
consists of an assault by the forees of 
the undead against the hero Ash 
(played with amazing cornic ability by 
Bruce Cambell).  ·sam Raimi's quirky 
direction is the real star of the film; 
Raimi loads the film  with tons of sight 
gags and gruesome special effects 
making Evil Dead II one horror film  not 
t() miss. 

Unsane, Creepers, Demons (pro 
ducer and writer)  · 

George Romero 

Hailing from  Pittsburgh, Romero Is 

Recommended Argento films: The 

-

Reoommended Raimi films: Evil 

Dead, Crime Wave 

f you're 
interested 
in writing 
entertain-

.... 
.. . "" 
.. . ... 
. 
...  ment 
. . . 
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"" 
..... 
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news, then 
. call Mike 
Pfiefer at 
'351-6462 

/ 
"'/ 

. . .  .·  . ~  . . . .  . .  . . .  ~  . . . .  ..  .  _. 

- '  .. 

Dario Argento 

In Italy, Dario Argento's home,  he 

is considered .the Italian Steven 
Spielberg.  This is very odd beCause 

Don't bitch and 
moan about us, 
bitch and moan at 
us.  Send us your 
gripes and we'll 
print everylast one 
of  them. 
uR-1 
c/o 131  E.  Wilson 
E.  Lansing, Mi 
48825 

responsible for bringing the term 
zombie Into popular culture with his 
Dead trilogy (Night al the Living 
Dead, Dawn al the Dead, Day of the 
Dead).  Although most known tor· his 
gory zombie flicks, Romero has rarely 
sold out (except for his remake of . 
Night/Dead) and has always tried to 
make original horror films such as 
Martin or The Crazies.  Thus remain 
ing outside the Hollywood main 
strea_m, but remaining one of the most 
interesting directors around. 

Dawn al th~ Dead - The quint 

essential zombie film  of all time. 
Dawn features a band of humans 
fighting for survival inside a shopping 

· mall against an onslaught of flesh 
· eating brain chomping zombies.  On 
the surface Sawn appears to be· a 
gratuitous film with buckets of blood 
flowing  freely . . However, Romero has 
cleverly woven in some social com 
mentary about America becoming a 
·consumer society.  Dawn also fea-
tur~ great special effects by special 
effects maestro,  Tom  Savini. 

Recommended Romero films: 
Martin, Creepshow, Night al the  . 

~ Hitchcock's Psycho and Rear Win· 
dow in this suspenseful tale of twin 
sisters (one good and one evil) played 
by Margot Kidder.  Jennifer Salt plays 
the voyeuristic reporter that witnesses 
one of the twins murdering a young 
man.  . Creepy musical compositions 
by Hitchcock's main composer 
Bernard Herriman add to the sus 
pense . . DePalma also interjects 
moments of quirky humor into the 
story.  This is one of his earlier films 
and is a bit hard to find but definitely 
worth the hunt. 

Recommended DePalma films: 

Body Double, Dressed to Kill, 
Carrie 

I would be remiss if I failed to 

mention the following titles on a 
Halloween film  list: 

Re-Animator - Stuart Gorden's 

retelling of H.P. Lovecraft's classic 
tale of pre-med students bringing the 
dead back to life. 

Halloween -

John Carpenter's 

classic slasher film.  This film was 
responsible for the slasher films of the 
80's.  · 

Hellraiser - Horror author Clive 
Barker's impressive debut film  about 
S&M demons from beyond and 
Rubik's Cube-like puzzle. 

Beetlejuice - Tim Burton's 
wacky tale about yuppie ghosts who 
employ the services of Beetlejuice (a 
bio-exorcist) to get rid of the humans 
residing in their home. 

Make Them Die Slowly-To be 
· honest,  I haven't gotten up the nerve 
to sit through this little ditty that was 
banned in over 30 countries.  High 
lights include castration and various 
other dismemberments.  If you do see 
this write .me and tell me how you 
like'd it - on second thought keep it to 
yourself. 

-Faran Thomason 

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